1
00:00:02,471 --> 00:00:03,377
Previously on Young Sheldon...
2
00:00:03,479 --> 00:00:05,304
Mary Cooper...
3
00:00:05,406 --> 00:00:07,444
I want to sex you up.
4
00:00:08,483 --> 00:00:09,373
(gasps)
5
00:00:09,475 --> 00:00:11,013
I have good news.
6
00:00:11,115 --> 00:00:12,281
Good. I could use it.
7
00:00:12,383 --> 00:00:14,880
I got a job
at the bowling alley.
8
00:00:17,087 --> 00:00:18,116
Working with Brenda?
9
00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:19,319
Every day.
10
00:00:19,421 --> 00:00:21,795
I am so sorry
about today.
11
00:00:21,897 --> 00:00:23,553
I just hate to
see you walk away
12
00:00:23,655 --> 00:00:24,994
from the Lord.
Feels like
13
00:00:25,096 --> 00:00:26,991
He's walking away from me.
14
00:00:34,642 --> 00:00:35,542
What is that?
15
00:00:35,644 --> 00:00:36,809
Hamburger Helper.
16
00:00:36,911 --> 00:00:38,742
It's official.
We're poor.
17
00:00:38,844 --> 00:00:40,438
We're not poor.
18
00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:41,815
There's hamburger in there.
19
00:00:41,917 --> 00:00:43,543
There's hamburger
in there, right?
20
00:00:43,645 --> 00:00:45,547
(grunts softly)
I like Hamburger Helper.
21
00:00:45,649 --> 00:00:47,547
It really does help your
hamburger make a great meal.
22
00:00:47,649 --> 00:00:48,755
Well, it's a good thing
you like it,
23
00:00:48,857 --> 00:00:50,283
'cause you're definitely poor.
24
00:00:50,385 --> 00:00:52,153
Like us.
We're fine.
25
00:00:52,255 --> 00:00:54,156
Actually...
Just eat.
26
00:00:54,258 --> 00:00:56,261
Do we still say grace?
Why not?
27
00:00:56,363 --> 00:00:58,966
Mom's been taking a break
from the church. Mom?
28
00:00:59,068 --> 00:01:01,634
Well, I hadn't really
thought about it.
29
00:01:01,736 --> 00:01:03,062
We can if you want to.
30
00:01:03,165 --> 00:01:04,099
Let's not.
31
00:01:04,201 --> 00:01:05,332
As meaningless as it is,
32
00:01:05,434 --> 00:01:06,999
I do find the ritual comforting.
33
00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:09,570
Well, somebody make a decision.
That slop's getting cold.
34
00:01:09,672 --> 00:01:12,040
No, it's good cold or hot,
like Grape-Nuts.
35
00:01:12,142 --> 00:01:13,170
Ooh, can I say it?
36
00:01:13,272 --> 00:01:14,775
Sure.
37
00:01:16,278 --> 00:01:17,712
(Missy clears throat)
38
00:01:17,814 --> 00:01:19,645
Bless us Lord for the food
we are about to receive
39
00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:21,344
and bless the hands
that prepared it.
40
00:01:22,214 --> 00:01:24,084
And let me have a good
hair day for school pictures
41
00:01:24,186 --> 00:01:25,654
later this week.
42
00:01:25,756 --> 00:01:27,852
(sighs) Let's see, what else
do I want...
Wrap it up.
43
00:01:27,954 --> 00:01:29,796
And please let my dad
find a full-time job
44
00:01:29,898 --> 00:01:31,256
before we lose cable. Amen.
45
00:01:31,358 --> 00:01:32,658
OTHERS: Amen.
46
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,692
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
47
00:01:35,795 --> 00:01:38,332
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
48
00:01:38,435 --> 00:01:40,631
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
49
00:01:40,733 --> 00:01:43,734
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
50
00:01:43,836 --> 00:01:47,544
♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪
51
00:01:57,383 --> 00:01:58,749
So...
52
00:01:58,851 --> 00:02:00,494
how's it going
with this whole
53
00:02:00,596 --> 00:02:02,427
no church thing?
54
00:02:03,193 --> 00:02:04,522
It's a little weird,
55
00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:06,095
but I'm figuring it out.
56
00:02:06,197 --> 00:02:07,927
Think you might go back?
57
00:02:09,067 --> 00:02:10,364
I don't know yet.
58
00:02:10,466 --> 00:02:11,968
Maybe find a different church?
59
00:02:12,070 --> 00:02:14,637
I don't know, George.
60
00:02:16,405 --> 00:02:18,269
I'm gonna get a beer.
61
00:02:18,371 --> 00:02:19,371
You, uh,
62
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:20,780
care to join me
63
00:02:20,882 --> 00:02:22,081
like the good ol' days?
64
00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:23,841
Just 'cause
I'm not going to church
65
00:02:23,943 --> 00:02:25,983
doesn't mean
I'm suddenly a drinker.
66
00:02:26,085 --> 00:02:27,449
Okay. Well, then I guess
67
00:02:27,551 --> 00:02:29,454
me and my friends
will say goodnight.
68
00:02:32,287 --> 00:02:33,252
We need to talk.
69
00:02:33,354 --> 00:02:34,622
About what?
70
00:02:34,724 --> 00:02:37,391
You do their taxes.
How bad off are we?
71
00:02:37,493 --> 00:02:39,025
Based on their part-time income,
72
00:02:39,127 --> 00:02:40,791
we're going to run out of money
by the end of the year.
73
00:02:40,893 --> 00:02:43,033
Before or after Christmas?
Before.
74
00:02:43,135 --> 00:02:45,096
Not what I wanted to hear.
75
00:02:46,141 --> 00:02:48,666
(sighs)
Anything we can do to help?
76
00:02:48,768 --> 00:02:50,677
Perhaps we could sell our stuff.
77
00:02:50,779 --> 00:02:52,042
But I like my stuff.
78
00:02:52,144 --> 00:02:53,537
I like my stuff, too.
79
00:02:53,639 --> 00:02:55,477
Let's keep thinking.
80
00:02:55,579 --> 00:02:57,042
(phone rings)
(laughter over TV)
81
00:02:59,248 --> 00:03:01,279
(TV mutes)
82
00:03:01,381 --> 00:03:02,415
Hello?
83
00:03:02,517 --> 00:03:04,415
Connie. Grant Linkletter.
84
00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:06,287
Hello, Grant.
85
00:03:06,389 --> 00:03:08,120
What can I do for you?
86
00:03:08,222 --> 00:03:10,490
Well, I looked at my calendar
and realized it's been six weeks
87
00:03:10,592 --> 00:03:12,098
since I last asked you out, so
88
00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:13,493
I thought I'd give it
another shot.
89
00:03:13,596 --> 00:03:15,764
You ask me out every six weeks?
90
00:03:15,866 --> 00:03:19,031
Used to be nine, but
we're not getting any younger.
91
00:03:20,238 --> 00:03:22,300
I'll tell you what...
92
00:03:22,402 --> 00:03:23,303
fine.
93
00:03:23,405 --> 00:03:25,206
Really?
Why not?
94
00:03:25,308 --> 00:03:26,604
(laughs)
Excellent.
95
00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:28,005
But I want to be clear,
96
00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:30,211
this is just one of those--
whatcha call it--
97
00:03:30,313 --> 00:03:32,148
uh, platonic things.
98
00:03:32,250 --> 00:03:33,587
We're just having dinner.
99
00:03:33,689 --> 00:03:34,846
I'll take it.
100
00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:36,449
Now, would you prefer
a restaurant
101
00:03:36,551 --> 00:03:38,188
or some good home cooking?
102
00:03:38,290 --> 00:03:39,786
I make seven kinds of soup.
103
00:03:39,888 --> 00:03:41,386
I think I'll just stick
with a restaurant.
104
00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:42,387
Fair enough,
105
00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:43,457
but one day,
106
00:03:43,559 --> 00:03:44,557
you'll try my mushroom barley,
107
00:03:44,660 --> 00:03:46,458
and your taste buds will swoon.
108
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:47,592
Good night, Grant.
109
00:03:47,694 --> 00:03:48,592
The secret is how long
110
00:03:48,694 --> 00:03:49,963
I cook the onions.
111
00:03:58,275 --> 00:04:00,075
Chicken coop, now.
112
00:04:00,177 --> 00:04:01,777
(door closes)
113
00:04:04,443 --> 00:04:05,378
Hi.
114
00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:06,819
What are we doing?
115
00:04:06,921 --> 00:04:08,414
What are you doing?
116
00:04:08,516 --> 00:04:09,813
What, you hired Mary
117
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:11,549
to work at the
bowling alley.
118
00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:13,760
She needed a job.
119
00:04:13,862 --> 00:04:15,085
I was being nice.
120
00:04:15,187 --> 00:04:16,621
Well, you don't think
it's a little weird?
121
00:04:16,723 --> 00:04:19,128
(scoffs)
This right here--
122
00:04:19,230 --> 00:04:20,626
it's all weird.
123
00:04:20,729 --> 00:04:22,769
(scoffs)
(sighs) Are you drunk?
124
00:04:22,871 --> 00:04:24,966
Not nearly enough.
125
00:04:25,068 --> 00:04:28,039
You and Mary working together
is a bad idea considering...
126
00:04:28,141 --> 00:04:30,406
you know,
you and me.
127
00:04:30,508 --> 00:04:32,103
We haven't done
anything, George.
128
00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:34,113
But there was considering.
You know there was.
129
00:04:34,215 --> 00:04:36,476
(scoffs)
What do you want me to do?
130
00:04:36,578 --> 00:04:37,642
You want me to fire her?
131
00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:40,110
No, no.
That'd be weird.
132
00:04:40,213 --> 00:04:43,984
Which is exactly
where we started. Good night.
133
00:04:46,555 --> 00:04:48,362
(sighs)
(door closes)
134
00:04:49,659 --> 00:04:51,827
You understand what I'm saying.
135
00:04:54,168 --> 00:04:56,131
Okay, so what are you good at?
136
00:04:56,233 --> 00:04:57,529
I'm popular.
137
00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:58,938
That is not a skill.
138
00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:00,831
You can't do it.
Fine.
139
00:05:00,934 --> 00:05:02,838
Oh, you could go on Jeopardy!
140
00:05:02,940 --> 00:05:05,336
Never. I don't like answers
in the form of questions.
141
00:05:05,438 --> 00:05:07,807
I like my answers in the form
of answers, and my questions
142
00:05:07,909 --> 00:05:09,215
in the form of
questions, thank you.
143
00:05:09,317 --> 00:05:11,611
Ooh, perhaps I could
sell story ideas
144
00:05:11,713 --> 00:05:13,044
to TV shows like Star Trek.
145
00:05:13,147 --> 00:05:14,955
Do you really think
they'd listen to a kid?
146
00:05:15,057 --> 00:05:16,288
My voice has gotten deeper.
147
00:05:16,390 --> 00:05:17,784
The other day,
I answered the phone,
148
00:05:17,886 --> 00:05:19,359
and they didn't
mistake me for Mom.
149
00:05:19,461 --> 00:05:21,554
Star Trek's not gonna
buy your stupid ideas.
150
00:05:21,656 --> 00:05:22,688
We'll see about that.
151
00:05:22,791 --> 00:05:23,721
I have one where the Enterprise
152
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:24,865
falls into a time tunnel,
153
00:05:24,967 --> 00:05:25,922
and Worf becomes a Worf
154
00:05:26,024 --> 00:05:27,432
from 12 minutes in the future.
155
00:05:27,534 --> 00:05:30,030
We could let people
punch you for a buck.
156
00:05:30,132 --> 00:05:33,297
No, all our profit would just
go to medical expenses.
157
00:05:39,147 --> 00:05:41,710
Hey, Brenda,
I was trying to
158
00:05:41,813 --> 00:05:43,612
do the books for the quarter,
and I was having
159
00:05:43,714 --> 00:05:45,346
a little trouble
making sense of it.
160
00:05:45,448 --> 00:05:46,646
You know, Mary, if...
161
00:05:46,748 --> 00:05:48,718
if it's too big
of a mess, and
162
00:05:48,820 --> 00:05:51,584
you'd rather work
somewhere else, I'd understand.
163
00:05:51,686 --> 00:05:53,626
No, I'll figure it out.
164
00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:55,862
Great.
165
00:05:55,964 --> 00:05:57,356
So happy you're here.
166
00:05:57,459 --> 00:05:59,356
(chuckles)
167
00:06:03,168 --> 00:06:04,298
Hey, there.
168
00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:06,332
Oh. (chuckles)
169
00:06:06,434 --> 00:06:07,333
Hi, Mary.
170
00:06:07,435 --> 00:06:08,803
(laughs)
171
00:06:08,906 --> 00:06:11,038
Finally found an eight-pounder
that's not pink.
172
00:06:12,014 --> 00:06:13,046
I didn't know you bowled.
173
00:06:13,148 --> 00:06:15,408
I didn't know you did either.
174
00:06:15,510 --> 00:06:17,608
Actually, I, um,
175
00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:19,247
I work here now.
176
00:06:19,349 --> 00:06:21,555
Oh, sure, okay.
177
00:06:21,657 --> 00:06:22,646
I...
178
00:06:22,748 --> 00:06:25,286
I'm so sorry
179
00:06:25,388 --> 00:06:27,256
about how things
180
00:06:27,358 --> 00:06:29,024
went down at church.
181
00:06:29,126 --> 00:06:31,557
If it helps at all, the place
has gone to heck since you left.
182
00:06:31,659 --> 00:06:33,766
Good.
(chuckles)
183
00:06:33,869 --> 00:06:35,359
(chuckles)
184
00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:38,764
I sure do miss working with you.
185
00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:41,503
Well, we can still be friends,
186
00:06:41,606 --> 00:06:43,477
even if we don't work together.
187
00:06:44,671 --> 00:06:45,744
I'd like that.
188
00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:47,774
You find a
kiddie ball yet?
189
00:06:47,876 --> 00:06:49,949
It's not about
the weight, just...
190
00:06:50,051 --> 00:06:51,909
I have small fingers.
191
00:06:52,011 --> 00:06:54,711
Oh, uh, Mary,
this is Shannon.
192
00:06:54,813 --> 00:06:55,779
Shannon, this is
193
00:06:55,881 --> 00:06:57,915
Mary Cooper.
Hi.
194
00:06:58,017 --> 00:06:59,720
You used to be
Mary Tucker.
195
00:06:59,822 --> 00:07:02,389
Oh, not in a long time.
(laughs)
196
00:07:02,491 --> 00:07:03,554
You remember me?
197
00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:05,397
Sorry, no.
198
00:07:05,499 --> 00:07:08,964
Shannon Dixon.
You used to babysit me.
199
00:07:10,004 --> 00:07:11,300
Is that so?
200
00:07:11,402 --> 00:07:12,438
She was so great.
201
00:07:12,540 --> 00:07:14,198
She would let me stay
up late and watch TV
202
00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:16,172
while she would make out
with her boyfriend.
203
00:07:16,274 --> 00:07:17,210
(Mary laughs)
204
00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:19,878
I don't...
remember any of that.
205
00:07:19,980 --> 00:07:22,071
Oh, I'm not surprised. You used
to hit my dad's liquor cabinet
206
00:07:22,174 --> 00:07:24,747
pretty hard.
Well, Mary Cooper.
207
00:07:24,849 --> 00:07:27,680
I was... young
and hadn't found the Lord.
208
00:07:27,782 --> 00:07:31,151
You two have a great time.
209
00:07:40,233 --> 00:07:41,460
Here's that invoice.
210
00:07:41,562 --> 00:07:42,597
Oh. Great.
211
00:07:42,699 --> 00:07:44,597
I see Pastor Rob's
here again.
212
00:07:44,699 --> 00:07:46,864
Oh, does, uh...
213
00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:49,470
does he come
here often?
214
00:07:49,572 --> 00:07:51,206
Not with that one.
215
00:07:51,309 --> 00:07:52,810
She's new.
216
00:07:53,741 --> 00:07:56,346
Well, good for him.
217
00:07:56,448 --> 00:07:58,777
Single, good-looking pastor.
218
00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:00,319
In a small town like this,
219
00:08:00,421 --> 00:08:02,248
he might as well
be Roger Staubach.
220
00:08:04,623 --> 00:08:06,487
Oh, my God.
The Dallas Cowboys.
221
00:08:06,589 --> 00:08:08,359
Oh, sure, course.
222
00:08:08,461 --> 00:08:10,253
Um... hey,
if you need me,
223
00:08:10,355 --> 00:08:12,756
I'm gonna be in
the office doing...
224
00:08:12,858 --> 00:08:14,634
office things.
225
00:08:20,637 --> 00:08:21,635
What are you doing here?
226
00:08:21,737 --> 00:08:23,200
I ran out of beer at home,
227
00:08:23,302 --> 00:08:25,038
didn't feel like
driving to the store.
228
00:08:25,141 --> 00:08:27,409
Oh, so you just
waltz in and help yourself?
229
00:08:27,511 --> 00:08:29,445
'Bout sums it up.
230
00:08:29,547 --> 00:08:31,445
I'm changing the locks.
231
00:08:31,547 --> 00:08:34,148
(laughs) Cheers.
232
00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:39,652
So, how's my daughter doing?
233
00:08:39,754 --> 00:08:41,251
Eh, she seems okay.
234
00:08:41,353 --> 00:08:43,089
Still trying to
figure things out.
235
00:08:43,191 --> 00:08:45,695
I got to be honest,
I'm not exactly upset
236
00:08:45,797 --> 00:08:47,462
about less religion
in the house.
237
00:08:47,564 --> 00:08:49,501
(chuckles) I hear you.
238
00:08:49,603 --> 00:08:51,536
Although, Jesus
making her forgive me
239
00:08:51,638 --> 00:08:53,871
has come in handy
more than a few times.
240
00:08:53,973 --> 00:08:56,739
(chuckles) Yeah, I
played that card, too.
(chuckles)
241
00:08:56,841 --> 00:08:59,442
Then again,
I remember Mary before God
242
00:08:59,544 --> 00:09:00,973
got His mitts on her, and...
243
00:09:01,075 --> 00:09:03,677
(chuckles)
...she was pretty wild.
244
00:09:03,779 --> 00:09:05,549
Don't have to tell me.
245
00:09:05,651 --> 00:09:06,948
I was the person
she was wild with.
246
00:09:07,050 --> 00:09:10,221
Oh, she was wild
long before she ever met you.
247
00:09:10,323 --> 00:09:11,552
What do you mean?
248
00:09:12,555 --> 00:09:16,292
Did you think that you were the
first person she was wild with?
249
00:09:16,394 --> 00:09:19,633
Well... yeah.
250
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:26,865
And just when the Enterprise
is about to be
251
00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:28,299
assimilated by the Borg,
252
00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:31,773
another ship appears,
piloted by Wesley Crusher.
253
00:09:31,875 --> 00:09:33,743
Uh-huh.
It's surprising because
254
00:09:33,845 --> 00:09:35,378
Wesley Crusher left the show
years ago,
255
00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:36,477
so it's a big deal.
256
00:09:36,579 --> 00:09:37,712
If you say so.
257
00:09:37,814 --> 00:09:39,012
I have more. Commander Data...
258
00:09:39,114 --> 00:09:41,450
I'd like a reservation
for dinner.
259
00:09:41,552 --> 00:09:42,719
Yes, I'll hold.
260
00:09:42,821 --> 00:09:44,656
You want to do this over dinner?
Okay.
261
00:09:44,758 --> 00:09:46,853
I'm taking your grandmother
out tonight.
262
00:09:46,955 --> 00:09:48,384
She didn't mention it to me.
263
00:09:48,486 --> 00:09:50,790
Maybe because
it doesn't concern you.
264
00:09:50,892 --> 00:09:52,190
My meemaw, my professor--
265
00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:54,926
who's in the middle
of that Venn diagram?
266
00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:56,797
Yes, two people at 8:00.
267
00:09:56,899 --> 00:09:58,733
8:00's a little late for Meemaw.
268
00:09:58,836 --> 00:10:00,398
What time does she like to eat?
269
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:03,134
Well, she's old like you,
so 6:30 at the latest.
270
00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:05,873
Can we make that 6:30?
Wonderful.
271
00:10:05,975 --> 00:10:08,847
Hold on.
Does she like French food?
272
00:10:09,646 --> 00:10:11,943
I'll call you back.
273
00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:14,148
Anyway, Commander Data...
274
00:10:14,250 --> 00:10:16,317
Let me ask you a question,
if this Commander Data
275
00:10:16,419 --> 00:10:19,490
were taking your meemaw out
for dinner, where would they go?
276
00:10:19,592 --> 00:10:21,225
Almost certainly the holodeck.
277
00:10:21,327 --> 00:10:22,854
Sounds trendy.
278
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,731
Is that in Houston?
279
00:10:28,333 --> 00:10:29,298
Hello.
280
00:10:29,401 --> 00:10:30,633
What's up?
281
00:10:30,735 --> 00:10:32,436
I saw your "help wanted" sign.
282
00:10:32,538 --> 00:10:33,633
I'd like to help, please.
283
00:10:33,735 --> 00:10:34,768
How old are you?
284
00:10:34,870 --> 00:10:36,502
How old do I need to be?
285
00:10:36,604 --> 00:10:37,540
14.
286
00:10:37,642 --> 00:10:39,575
(scoffs)
Do I not look 14?
287
00:10:39,677 --> 00:10:41,708
I don't care.
Perfect.
288
00:10:41,810 --> 00:10:43,210
So, when do I start?
289
00:10:43,312 --> 00:10:45,644
All right, hold on, do
you even like comic books?
290
00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:46,714
Yeah.
291
00:10:46,816 --> 00:10:47,985
What's your favorite?
292
00:10:49,222 --> 00:10:50,249
Um...
293
00:10:50,351 --> 00:10:52,591
And the cool thing
about the X-Men is not just
294
00:10:52,693 --> 00:10:53,656
that they have superpowers,
but they act
295
00:10:53,758 --> 00:10:55,189
as a metaphor for outsiders...
296
00:10:55,291 --> 00:10:57,790
...outsiders trying to find
their place in society.
297
00:10:57,892 --> 00:10:59,427
Who's your favorite?
298
00:10:59,530 --> 00:11:01,097
All of them.
299
00:11:02,368 --> 00:11:03,268
Mine, too.
300
00:11:03,370 --> 00:11:04,669
And I got the job.
301
00:11:04,771 --> 00:11:06,067
You can't work
at the comic book store.
302
00:11:06,169 --> 00:11:07,535
If anyone should work
at the comic book store,
303
00:11:07,637 --> 00:11:08,538
it should be me.
304
00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:09,936
Sorry, we're not hiring.
305
00:11:10,038 --> 00:11:11,538
Do I at least get a discount?
306
00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:13,241
I do.
307
00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:16,145
(muffled crying)
308
00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:22,551
Oh, hey, hi.
(sniffles)
309
00:11:22,653 --> 00:11:25,022
Oh... You okay?
310
00:11:25,985 --> 00:11:27,252
Not really.
311
00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:30,425
It's been a...
rough couple of days.
312
00:11:30,528 --> 00:11:32,295
I'm sorry.
313
00:11:32,398 --> 00:11:33,497
Thank you.
314
00:11:33,599 --> 00:11:34,831
Makes you feel better,
315
00:11:34,933 --> 00:11:36,193
I've had a pretty good
couple of days,
316
00:11:36,295 --> 00:11:37,762
and I'm still gonna get drunk.
317
00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:39,567
(laughs)
318
00:11:39,669 --> 00:11:41,269
Want to join me?
319
00:11:42,703 --> 00:11:43,935
Yes.
320
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,607
That would be nice.
321
00:11:45,709 --> 00:11:46,973
More sad than nice,
322
00:11:47,075 --> 00:11:49,244
but let's go.
(chuckles) Okay.
323
00:11:54,246 --> 00:11:55,520
So... this is unexpected.
324
00:11:55,623 --> 00:11:57,922
Well, I know you
like margaritas,
325
00:11:58,024 --> 00:11:59,884
so my first thought was
a Mexican restaurant.
326
00:11:59,986 --> 00:12:00,922
Good thought.
327
00:12:01,024 --> 00:12:02,262
But I assumed
other men had come
328
00:12:02,364 --> 00:12:03,663
to that same conclusion.
329
00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:06,664
They have.
Which led me to
Polynesian fare.
330
00:12:06,766 --> 00:12:08,601
I like to think
of the Mai Tai
331
00:12:08,703 --> 00:12:11,395
as the margarita
of the South Pacific.
332
00:12:11,497 --> 00:12:14,264
You don't do anything
on a whim, do you?
333
00:12:14,366 --> 00:12:16,337
Did once,
didn't like it.
334
00:12:18,379 --> 00:12:19,409
(TV playing faintly)
335
00:12:19,511 --> 00:12:20,512
I have an idea
336
00:12:20,614 --> 00:12:21,546
for a Star Trek episode
337
00:12:21,648 --> 00:12:22,741
I'd like to present to you.
338
00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:24,142
Why me?
339
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:25,642
Because I'm hoping to sell it,
340
00:12:25,744 --> 00:12:27,249
and since it's going to be
broadcast television,
341
00:12:27,351 --> 00:12:29,580
I want to make sure the
common man can understand it.
342
00:12:29,682 --> 00:12:31,987
(scoffs) Well, I understand
I was just insulted.
343
00:12:32,089 --> 00:12:34,350
Excellent, I came
to the right common man.
344
00:12:34,453 --> 00:12:35,728
(TV clicks off)
We start on
345
00:12:35,830 --> 00:12:38,265
a gas giant in the vicinity
of Rigel IV,
346
00:12:38,367 --> 00:12:39,833
then see a shuttlecraft,
347
00:12:39,935 --> 00:12:42,929
a dot of silver against
the inky blackness of space.
348
00:12:43,031 --> 00:12:44,429
Inside the shuttlecraft,
349
00:12:44,532 --> 00:12:46,840
we see Lieutenant Worf
struggling to breathe.
350
00:12:46,942 --> 00:12:50,268
He's been infected by
a vicious intelligent fungus.
351
00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:52,178
Where are you going?
I'm listening.
352
00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:53,302
Cough, cough.
353
00:12:53,404 --> 00:12:55,241
Worf is choking on spores,
354
00:12:55,343 --> 00:12:56,878
but not just your
everyday spores,
355
00:12:56,981 --> 00:12:58,483
these are spores with their own
356
00:12:58,585 --> 00:12:59,812
evil agenda.
Uh-huh.
357
00:12:59,914 --> 00:13:00,684
And, as he sinks
358
00:13:00,786 --> 00:13:02,245
into a coma, a mysterious figure
359
00:13:02,347 --> 00:13:03,713
in a spacesuit approaches.
360
00:13:03,815 --> 00:13:05,722
He lowers the visor
of his helmet revealing...
361
00:13:05,824 --> 00:13:07,324
Future Worf. Are you hooked?
362
00:13:07,427 --> 00:13:09,052
Oh, yeah.
363
00:13:09,154 --> 00:13:10,355
Main titles.
364
00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:11,962
Cue theme song and
the soothing voice
365
00:13:12,064 --> 00:13:15,066
of Patrick Stewart
as Captain Picard says...
366
00:13:16,568 --> 00:13:18,531
"Space..."
367
00:13:19,606 --> 00:13:21,605
"...the final frontier."
368
00:13:21,707 --> 00:13:24,537
Who's Patrick Stewart?
369
00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:28,812
Feeling better?
I'm fine,
370
00:13:28,914 --> 00:13:31,084
just having
a little moment earlier.
371
00:13:31,186 --> 00:13:32,217
Oh, yeah.
372
00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:33,217
All right.
373
00:13:33,319 --> 00:13:34,680
Mm.
374
00:13:34,782 --> 00:13:35,946
Mmm.
375
00:13:36,048 --> 00:13:37,418
♪ ♪
376
00:13:38,718 --> 00:13:41,728
Seems like running into
Pastor Rob kind of...
377
00:13:41,830 --> 00:13:43,229
kind of rattled you
a little bit. (chuckles)
378
00:13:43,331 --> 00:13:45,723
Oh, well...
379
00:13:46,931 --> 00:13:48,732
I was asked to leave the church,
380
00:13:48,834 --> 00:13:51,494
and he's still there, so...
381
00:13:51,596 --> 00:13:53,372
it's still a little fresh.
Mm.
382
00:13:53,474 --> 00:13:55,906
Yeah, I get that.
383
00:13:56,008 --> 00:13:58,244
Seems like a nice guy, though.
Oh, yeah,
384
00:13:58,346 --> 00:13:59,642
he's great.
385
00:13:59,744 --> 00:14:01,411
Cute as a button.
386
00:14:01,513 --> 00:14:03,416
I guess.
387
00:14:03,518 --> 00:14:06,010
I prefer a bigger man.
388
00:14:06,112 --> 00:14:07,652
Like George?
389
00:14:07,754 --> 00:14:10,616
Oh, yeah.
Bigger the better.
390
00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:14,052
Deep within the Enterprise's
control room,
391
00:14:14,154 --> 00:14:15,154
Future Worf says,
392
00:14:15,256 --> 00:14:16,595
"I willingly sacrifice myself
393
00:14:16,697 --> 00:14:17,995
for the good of this mission,"
394
00:14:18,097 --> 00:14:19,830
then throws himself
into the warp core.
395
00:14:19,932 --> 00:14:21,562
There's an explosion
of tachyons.
396
00:14:21,664 --> 00:14:25,061
The Enterprise blasts free
of the gigantic field of fungus.
397
00:14:25,163 --> 00:14:26,063
Fade out.
398
00:14:26,165 --> 00:14:27,298
(toilet flushes)
399
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,635
Written by Sheldon Lee Cooper.
400
00:14:30,643 --> 00:14:32,409
What do you think?
401
00:14:33,212 --> 00:14:36,441
If this Worf fella
was infected on the shuttles,
402
00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:37,880
why would he come back
to the Enterprise
403
00:14:37,982 --> 00:14:39,612
and put everyone else in danger?
404
00:14:40,420 --> 00:14:42,253
Well...
405
00:14:42,355 --> 00:14:45,250
ADULT SHELDON:
My father found a flaw
in my story,
406
00:14:45,353 --> 00:14:47,221
my sister had a job I envied.
407
00:14:47,323 --> 00:14:49,859
It was a big day
for the common man.
408
00:14:49,961 --> 00:14:52,095
But then I had an idea that,
409
00:14:52,198 --> 00:14:54,466
like Future Worf,
was ahead of its time.
410
00:14:54,568 --> 00:14:55,534
(knock on door)
411
00:14:55,636 --> 00:14:57,098
SHELDON: Missy.
What?
412
00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:59,704
Why is a dollar
worth a dollar?
413
00:14:59,806 --> 00:15:01,369
(sighs)
Sheldon, I'm busy.
414
00:15:01,471 --> 00:15:03,205
Me too. I've solved
all of our money problems.
415
00:15:03,307 --> 00:15:05,511
I'm going to invent
my own digital currency.
416
00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:07,112
Like, printing your own?
417
00:15:07,214 --> 00:15:09,848
No. First, we assign value
to difficult-to-find numbers
418
00:15:09,950 --> 00:15:11,280
and store them
in a computer database.
419
00:15:11,382 --> 00:15:13,315
Then we create an algorithm
to mine the numbers,
420
00:15:13,417 --> 00:15:15,446
then we encourage people
to switch from currencies
421
00:15:15,548 --> 00:15:17,189
that are government-backed
to ours.
422
00:15:17,992 --> 00:15:19,919
It's brilliant.
I'm going to be rich.
423
00:15:20,021 --> 00:15:21,390
Speaking of,
424
00:15:21,492 --> 00:15:24,522
did you know Batman
is also secretly a rich dude?
425
00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:26,763
Or he lives in
a rich dude's basement.
426
00:15:26,865 --> 00:15:28,399
I'm still figuring it out.
427
00:15:28,501 --> 00:15:29,893
(sighs)
428
00:15:32,630 --> 00:15:34,833
Oh, thank you,
tiki woman.
429
00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:35,673
So...
430
00:15:35,775 --> 00:15:37,272
what's going on at work?
431
00:15:37,374 --> 00:15:39,204
I don't want to bore you
with science talk.
432
00:15:39,306 --> 00:15:40,739
No, no, I'm interested.
433
00:15:40,841 --> 00:15:43,312
Excellent. We're in a race
with the Finnish team to see
434
00:15:43,414 --> 00:15:45,677
who can correct the
unification of the leptons.
435
00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:48,316
As you can imagine, the
world waits anxiously
436
00:15:48,419 --> 00:15:50,746
while we see who crosses
the finish line first.
437
00:15:50,848 --> 00:15:53,083
So, the Finnish
may be at the finish line?
438
00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:55,226
(laughing)
439
00:15:56,697 --> 00:15:58,488
Oh, you're witty, too.
440
00:15:58,590 --> 00:16:00,292
More cheese to bait the trap.
441
00:16:00,394 --> 00:16:02,559
Maybe we should order dinner.
442
00:16:02,661 --> 00:16:04,699
Nonsense,
there's food right here.
443
00:16:04,802 --> 00:16:05,703
Pineapple,
444
00:16:05,805 --> 00:16:07,903
prickly on the outside,
445
00:16:08,005 --> 00:16:09,639
but beautiful inside,
446
00:16:09,741 --> 00:16:11,869
just like you.
447
00:16:15,609 --> 00:16:17,449
And you know that
Shannon girl...
448
00:16:17,551 --> 00:16:18,682
With Pastor Rob?
449
00:16:18,784 --> 00:16:21,111
She was a bedwetter.
450
00:16:21,213 --> 00:16:22,113
(laughs)
451
00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:23,247
Ten years old.
452
00:16:23,349 --> 00:16:24,582
That's not normal.
453
00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:25,854
Maybe he'll get
a fun little surprise
454
00:16:25,956 --> 00:16:27,090
on their honeymoon.
455
00:16:27,192 --> 00:16:29,925
Oh, no, they're not
getting married.
456
00:16:30,027 --> 00:16:31,156
Well, how do you know?
457
00:16:31,258 --> 00:16:32,589
(scoffs) I don't.
458
00:16:32,691 --> 00:16:34,859
I just think he
could do better.
459
00:16:35,635 --> 00:16:38,164
Mary Cooper.
460
00:16:38,266 --> 00:16:40,031
Are you sweet on him?
461
00:16:40,134 --> 00:16:41,805
No! What?
462
00:16:41,907 --> 00:16:44,871
I am a married woman.
463
00:16:44,973 --> 00:16:46,344
Happily.
464
00:16:46,446 --> 00:16:48,581
Well, I was married once, too,
didn't stop me from looking.
465
00:16:48,683 --> 00:16:50,710
Well, I'm not looking.
466
00:16:51,651 --> 00:16:53,044
Where you going?
467
00:16:53,146 --> 00:16:54,150
To dance.
468
00:16:54,252 --> 00:16:55,687
I didn't think
you Baptists did that.
469
00:16:55,789 --> 00:16:57,179
We don't drink, neither.
470
00:16:57,281 --> 00:16:58,557
Ooh!
471
00:16:58,659 --> 00:17:00,360
Look at me. Ooh!
Wow.
472
00:17:00,462 --> 00:17:02,318
(Mary laughs)
473
00:17:02,420 --> 00:17:04,554
I'm pretty good.
474
00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:05,964
Are you familiar
with the phrase,
475
00:17:06,066 --> 00:17:08,233
"You need money to make money"?
No.
476
00:17:08,335 --> 00:17:10,969
Well, it's a phrase,
and my clever twist on it is,
477
00:17:11,071 --> 00:17:13,438
"I'm going to make money
to make money."
478
00:17:13,540 --> 00:17:14,965
Mm-hmm.
479
00:17:15,067 --> 00:17:16,305
Now, when I say "make money,"
you might think that
480
00:17:16,407 --> 00:17:18,275
I'm talking about
counterfeiting, but no,
481
00:17:18,377 --> 00:17:20,738
I'm talking about creating
a unique decentralized
482
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:22,779
digital currency
that people can pay to own.
483
00:17:22,881 --> 00:17:23,914
Sounds like a scam.
484
00:17:24,017 --> 00:17:25,842
No, it's an
open-source currency
485
00:17:25,944 --> 00:17:27,983
that has value
due to mathematical scarcity.
486
00:17:28,085 --> 00:17:29,722
Sounds pretty scammy.
487
00:17:29,825 --> 00:17:31,181
(scoffs)
You don't understand.
488
00:17:31,283 --> 00:17:32,354
I do.
489
00:17:32,456 --> 00:17:33,989
You say a bunch
of fancy jibber-jabber,
490
00:17:34,091 --> 00:17:35,223
people don't want to admit
491
00:17:35,325 --> 00:17:36,520
they're too stupid
to understand,
492
00:17:36,623 --> 00:17:37,487
then they give you their money.
493
00:17:37,589 --> 00:17:40,062
Well... um... sort of.
494
00:17:40,165 --> 00:17:42,264
Love it.
How do we get started?
495
00:17:42,366 --> 00:17:44,996
Well, all we need
is a mainframe computer.
496
00:17:45,098 --> 00:17:47,732
How much is that?
New, about
half a million dollars,
497
00:17:47,835 --> 00:17:50,374
but I'm hoping to find
something slightly used.
498
00:17:51,141 --> 00:17:53,443
Time will prove me right.
499
00:17:55,213 --> 00:17:56,575
You're not gonna
believe this,
500
00:17:56,677 --> 00:17:57,976
but I don't go on
a lot of dates.
501
00:17:58,078 --> 00:17:59,209
No.
502
00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:00,920
It's true.
503
00:18:01,022 --> 00:18:03,018
Sure, I did okay as
a younger man, but
504
00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:04,848
there was a war on and
505
00:18:04,951 --> 00:18:06,485
most of the able-bodied
men were elsewhere.
506
00:18:06,587 --> 00:18:08,628
So, you sowed some oats,
I get it.
507
00:18:08,730 --> 00:18:09,895
A whole field of them.
508
00:18:09,997 --> 00:18:11,761
I was the Johnny
Appleseed of oats.
509
00:18:11,863 --> 00:18:12,830
Okay.
(laughs)
510
00:18:12,932 --> 00:18:15,024
But here's the thing.
511
00:18:15,126 --> 00:18:18,094
Once you put off matrimony
past a certain point,
512
00:18:18,196 --> 00:18:20,936
women start to think of you
as... What's the word?
513
00:18:21,038 --> 00:18:23,500
Creepy?
There it is.
514
00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:25,272
And then along comes you,
515
00:18:25,375 --> 00:18:27,042
my little
Texas firecracker,
516
00:18:27,144 --> 00:18:28,373
playing the
game of life
517
00:18:28,475 --> 00:18:29,805
by her own set of rules.
518
00:18:29,907 --> 00:18:33,111
I'm a firecracker,
I'm a pineapple...
519
00:18:33,214 --> 00:18:34,250
Good for me.
520
00:18:34,352 --> 00:18:36,282
Can I ask you
a personal question?
521
00:18:36,384 --> 00:18:37,381
Oh, I wish you wouldn't.
522
00:18:37,483 --> 00:18:38,416
How would you like
523
00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:39,849
to make love to a man
524
00:18:39,951 --> 00:18:41,792
who shook the hand
of Albert Einstein?
525
00:18:41,894 --> 00:18:43,552
And... you did.
526
00:18:43,654 --> 00:18:45,732
This one right here.
527
00:18:45,834 --> 00:18:46,929
I didn't wash it for a week.
528
00:18:47,031 --> 00:18:48,762
Not a selling point.
529
00:18:50,035 --> 00:18:52,271
Excuse me for a moment.
530
00:18:53,071 --> 00:18:55,274
I have to toss my cookies.
531
00:18:58,772 --> 00:19:00,137
(door closes)
(TV playing faintly)
532
00:19:00,239 --> 00:19:01,375
Hey.
533
00:19:01,477 --> 00:19:02,848
Where you been?
(TV clicks off)
534
00:19:02,950 --> 00:19:05,816
Brenda and I
went dancing.
535
00:19:05,918 --> 00:19:07,611
You went dancing?
536
00:19:07,714 --> 00:19:10,556
Yeah, and I'm
darn good at it.
537
00:19:10,658 --> 00:19:12,148
(chuckles) Okay.
538
00:19:13,091 --> 00:19:15,426
The kids asleep?
Yep.
539
00:19:16,490 --> 00:19:19,265
You want to fool around?
540
00:19:20,659 --> 00:19:21,567
Are you messing with me?
541
00:19:21,669 --> 00:19:23,764
I'm hoping to.
542
00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:25,865
Well, hot diggity dog.
543
00:19:33,048 --> 00:19:35,071
Welcome to King Kong Comics.
I'm Missy.
544
00:19:35,173 --> 00:19:36,816
If you have any questions,
please let me know.
545
00:19:36,918 --> 00:19:38,150
I don't have
any questions.
546
00:19:38,252 --> 00:19:39,810
I know more about
comic books than you do.
547
00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:42,019
Okay. What you
may not know is the new
548
00:19:42,121 --> 00:19:43,589
Green Lantern just came in.
549
00:19:44,458 --> 00:19:46,719
Also, if you like green things,
I recommend Green Arrow,
550
00:19:46,821 --> 00:19:48,851
and, of course, the Hulk.
His skin is green.
551
00:19:48,953 --> 00:19:50,689
I know that.
Everyone knows that.
552
00:19:50,791 --> 00:19:52,892
Uh-oh, are you gonna
smash things?
553
00:19:52,994 --> 00:19:54,732
That's something the Hulk does
when he gets upset.
554
00:19:54,834 --> 00:19:55,901
I'm not upset.
555
00:19:56,004 --> 00:19:57,334
Cool.
If you need something,
556
00:19:57,437 --> 00:19:59,932
I'll be at the front counter.
Where I work.
557
00:20:10,150 --> 00:20:13,049
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
558
00:20:13,151 --> 00:20:16,050
WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
559
00:20:16,152 --> 00:20:18,853
and TOYOTA.
560
00:20:18,955 --> 00:20:22,394
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org