1 00:00:02,872 --> 00:00:04,265 Previously onYoung Sheldon...Arrested? 2 00:00:04,395 --> 00:00:05,744 Well, they're probably gonna have to pay some fine, 3 00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:07,746 and-and they're gonna need cash. 4 00:00:07,877 --> 00:00:09,052 What the hell? 5 00:00:09,183 --> 00:00:10,619 What are you doing here? 6 00:00:10,749 --> 00:00:12,229 I'm saving you. 7 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:13,839 Well, damn. 8 00:00:13,970 --> 00:00:15,537 Look, you're just a kid, okay? 9 00:00:15,667 --> 00:00:17,278 You don't understand what's going on here. 10 00:00:17,408 --> 00:00:19,584 I know my mom lost her job and got kicked out of the church 11 00:00:19,715 --> 00:00:21,499 because you won't marry my brother. 12 00:00:21,630 --> 00:00:22,587 Where you going? 13 00:00:22,718 --> 00:00:23,936 To dance. 14 00:00:24,067 --> 00:00:25,373 I didn't think you Baptists did that. 15 00:00:25,503 --> 00:00:27,592 We don't drink, neither. Ooh. 16 00:00:27,723 --> 00:00:29,855 The kids asleep?Yup. 17 00:00:29,986 --> 00:00:32,467 You want to... fool around? 18 00:00:32,597 --> 00:00:34,338 Are you messing with me? 19 00:00:34,469 --> 00:00:36,036 I'm hoping to. 20 00:00:36,166 --> 00:00:38,168 Well, hot diggity dog. 21 00:00:41,084 --> 00:00:42,999 Hey. 22 00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:44,609 Oh, thanks for coming. 23 00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:46,611 Sounded important. What's going on? 24 00:00:46,742 --> 00:00:49,440 Walk with me.Okay. 25 00:00:49,571 --> 00:00:51,442 You know that money I owe you? 26 00:00:51,573 --> 00:00:53,444 Oh, you got it? 27 00:00:53,575 --> 00:00:55,490 Yes and no. 28 00:00:55,620 --> 00:00:57,274 Uh, well, which is it? 29 00:00:57,405 --> 00:00:59,059 Yes, I got it, 30 00:00:59,189 --> 00:01:00,669 no, I'm not giving it to you. 31 00:01:00,799 --> 00:01:03,063 I want to give you 32 00:01:03,193 --> 00:01:05,935 a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. 33 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:08,372 Well, I'd prefer my money.[video game music and chiming] 34 00:01:08,503 --> 00:01:11,375 Do you see any unoccupied machines here? 35 00:01:11,506 --> 00:01:13,856 No.Exactly. 36 00:01:13,986 --> 00:01:16,989 We are at capacity. It's time to expand. 37 00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:18,817 Where? 38 00:01:18,948 --> 00:01:21,777 The video store right behind that wall 39 00:01:21,907 --> 00:01:24,258 just lost its lease. 40 00:01:24,388 --> 00:01:26,738 Aw, heck. I was gonna pick up the new John Candy. 41 00:01:26,869 --> 00:01:30,133 Well, as my partner in this enterprise, 42 00:01:30,264 --> 00:01:33,136 you can get that new John Candy for free. 43 00:01:33,267 --> 00:01:35,486 So you're gonna buy a video store? 44 00:01:35,617 --> 00:01:37,662 Video store in the front, 45 00:01:37,793 --> 00:01:41,188 video pokerin the back. 46 00:01:41,318 --> 00:01:42,928 Where are you getting the poker machine? 47 00:01:43,059 --> 00:01:46,062 Biloxi, Mississippi.Oh. You didn't learn a lesson 48 00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:48,238 when you got arrested at the border?Yes. 49 00:01:48,369 --> 00:01:49,935 I learned not to smuggle contraband 50 00:01:50,066 --> 00:01:51,937 with my idiot grandson. 51 00:01:52,068 --> 00:01:55,724 But there's nothing illegal about buying poker machines. 52 00:01:55,854 --> 00:01:56,942 Till you plug 'em in. 53 00:01:57,073 --> 00:01:58,944 Well, sure.[scoffs] 54 00:01:59,075 --> 00:02:01,686 Come on. What do you say? 55 00:02:01,817 --> 00:02:05,647 You and me, a panel truck, Biloxi or bust? 56 00:02:05,777 --> 00:02:09,259 So I'm gonna be your partner in an illegal gambling room? 57 00:02:09,390 --> 00:02:11,305 Hidden by a legal video store. 58 00:02:11,435 --> 00:02:14,612 Connie. Gee...Come on. You said you want to drive around 59 00:02:14,743 --> 00:02:16,353 in an RV, see the country. 60 00:02:16,484 --> 00:02:18,573 This is that, but exciting. 61 00:02:18,703 --> 00:02:19,965 We could go to jail. 62 00:02:20,096 --> 00:02:22,881 That's the exciting part. 63 00:02:23,012 --> 00:02:25,797 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 64 00:02:25,928 --> 00:02:28,452 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 65 00:02:28,583 --> 00:02:30,889 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 66 00:02:31,020 --> 00:02:33,979 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 67 00:02:34,110 --> 00:02:37,896 ♪ I am a mighty little man.♪ 68 00:02:41,030 --> 00:02:42,553 SHELDON: Hello, Mom. 69 00:02:42,684 --> 00:02:43,641 It's your son, Sheldon. 70 00:02:43,772 --> 00:02:44,686 Hello, my son, Sheldon. 71 00:02:44,816 --> 00:02:46,122 I have an 8:00 a.m. 72 00:02:46,253 --> 00:02:47,993 class tomorrow, and I was wondering 73 00:02:48,124 --> 00:02:49,604 if I could spend the night in my dorm.That's fine. 74 00:02:49,734 --> 00:02:51,258 Now before you answer, hear me out. 75 00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:53,260 I have a list of reasons why this is a good idea. 76 00:02:53,390 --> 00:02:54,739 Number one...Sheldon, 77 00:02:54,870 --> 00:02:56,611 I know that you're safe there. It's fine. 78 00:02:56,741 --> 00:02:57,612 That's reason number four. Please don't skip ahead. 79 00:02:57,742 --> 00:02:59,570 Honey, 80 00:02:59,701 --> 00:03:02,747 I trust you. Just go to bed at a reasonable hour 81 00:03:02,878 --> 00:03:04,271 and call if you need anything. 82 00:03:04,401 --> 00:03:05,663 Otherwise, I'll see you tomorrow. 83 00:03:05,794 --> 00:03:07,099 Okay. Number one: I'm not... 84 00:03:07,230 --> 00:03:09,014 Goodbye, Sheldon. 85 00:03:10,581 --> 00:03:12,148 Who hangs up on a list? 86 00:03:12,279 --> 00:03:13,802 What's his problem now? 87 00:03:13,932 --> 00:03:16,152 Nothing. He wants to spend the night at the dorm 88 00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:18,198 so he can get to an early class. 89 00:03:18,328 --> 00:03:20,504 Really? And you said okay? 90 00:03:20,635 --> 00:03:22,289 He is old enough 91 00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:25,770 to have an overnighter, and... 92 00:03:25,901 --> 00:03:28,425 it might be nice for us to have a little alone time. 93 00:03:28,556 --> 00:03:30,340 Ooh. What about Missy? 94 00:03:30,471 --> 00:03:31,776 She's having dinner with a friend. 95 00:03:31,907 --> 00:03:34,344 So, the house to ourselves. 96 00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:35,606 I like it. 97 00:03:35,737 --> 00:03:37,913 [phone ringing]Hold on. 98 00:03:38,043 --> 00:03:39,697 Hello?SHELDON: Number two-- 99 00:03:39,828 --> 00:03:41,482 I have my own bathroom. Number... 100 00:03:41,612 --> 00:03:44,006 Boy, that's a lot of plates. 101 00:03:44,136 --> 00:03:46,182 What do you want, Georgie?I just talked to Meemaw. 102 00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:48,053 She says she's gonna be out of town for a couple days. 103 00:03:48,184 --> 00:03:49,098 Yup, she told me. 104 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,796 Patty melt. Good choice. 105 00:03:51,927 --> 00:03:53,494 Okay. Enjoy. 106 00:03:53,624 --> 00:03:55,800 I'm just worried about you being all by yourself 107 00:03:55,931 --> 00:03:57,149 in that big house.I'll be fine. 108 00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:59,021 What if there's a tornado? 109 00:03:59,151 --> 00:04:00,631 Did Meemaw ever show you where her hidey hole is? 110 00:04:00,762 --> 00:04:03,330 Georgie, I'm really busy right now.Sorry. 111 00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:05,897 I'll swing by Meemaw's later, maybe bring some takeout. 112 00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:07,986 Don't bother. They send me home with plenty of food. 113 00:04:08,117 --> 00:04:09,988 Great. Score me a patty melt, would you? 114 00:04:10,119 --> 00:04:12,382 I won't.I'm gonna go now. 115 00:04:12,513 --> 00:04:15,646 What are you doing?Kissing our baby. 116 00:04:15,777 --> 00:04:17,169 You want one, too? 117 00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:18,170 No. 118 00:04:18,301 --> 00:04:20,695 Bye-bye. 119 00:04:20,825 --> 00:04:23,088 I'm home. 120 00:04:25,613 --> 00:04:27,658 Anybody here? 121 00:04:27,789 --> 00:04:30,052 MARY: Missy?Yeah. 122 00:04:30,182 --> 00:04:31,880 MARY: You're home early. 123 00:04:32,010 --> 00:04:33,708 It's 7:00. 124 00:04:33,838 --> 00:04:35,666 Is it? 125 00:04:35,797 --> 00:04:37,668 Are you sleeping? 126 00:04:37,799 --> 00:04:39,061 Yeah. 127 00:04:39,191 --> 00:04:40,323 Where's Dad? 128 00:04:41,629 --> 00:04:43,152 GEORGE SR.: I'm here. 129 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,458 Ugh. 130 00:04:45,502 --> 00:04:47,330 GEORGE SR.: We were both just real tired. 131 00:04:47,461 --> 00:04:49,854 Please stop talking. 132 00:04:49,985 --> 00:04:51,552 [indistinct chatter] 133 00:04:51,682 --> 00:04:54,598 [loud chatter and shrieking outside room] 134 00:04:54,729 --> 00:04:58,036 [rock music playing outside room] 135 00:04:58,167 --> 00:05:00,169 What on earth is going on? 136 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,084 ♪ ♪ 137 00:05:02,214 --> 00:05:04,521 Aah! No skateboarding in the hallway. 138 00:05:04,652 --> 00:05:06,306 Aah! 139 00:05:07,350 --> 00:05:10,005 This childishness cannot be allowed to continue. 140 00:05:11,093 --> 00:05:12,790 Hello. I need to tattle. 141 00:05:14,662 --> 00:05:16,446 What? 142 00:05:16,577 --> 00:05:18,405 Is your room on fire? 143 00:05:18,535 --> 00:05:20,276 No. 144 00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:21,538 But I see smoke. 145 00:05:21,669 --> 00:05:23,410 Okay. 146 00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:25,455 You need to know there's people skateboarding 147 00:05:25,586 --> 00:05:27,065 and playing loud music in the hallways. 148 00:05:27,196 --> 00:05:29,633 What do you want me to do about it? 149 00:05:29,764 --> 00:05:31,069 You're the resident advisor. 150 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:32,114 It's your job to enforce the rules. 151 00:05:32,244 --> 00:05:34,769 I'll get right on it. 152 00:05:34,899 --> 00:05:36,379 Thank you. 153 00:05:36,510 --> 00:05:41,123 The system works. 154 00:05:41,253 --> 00:05:45,736 [rock music playing] 155 00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:47,347 Ugh. 156 00:05:47,477 --> 00:05:50,698 Oh, I'm gonna be so cranky tomorrow. 157 00:05:55,398 --> 00:05:57,400 So, how'd you hear about these poker machines? 158 00:05:57,531 --> 00:05:58,749 I know a guy. 159 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:00,272 What kind of guy? 160 00:06:00,403 --> 00:06:02,666 A guy who knows a guy. 161 00:06:02,797 --> 00:06:04,929 Well, what do you know about that guy? 162 00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:06,975 He owned a riverboat casino. 163 00:06:07,105 --> 00:06:08,455 He owned? 164 00:06:08,585 --> 00:06:09,673 He might be dead. 165 00:06:09,804 --> 00:06:11,240 Dead? 166 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,589 He might not be. 167 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:13,895 They never found the body. 168 00:06:14,025 --> 00:06:15,766 Oh, my God. 169 00:06:15,897 --> 00:06:17,507 Exciting, huh?No. 170 00:06:17,638 --> 00:06:19,988 It's upsetting.Oh, now, come on. 171 00:06:20,118 --> 00:06:22,382 You've been in the sporting goods business long enough. 172 00:06:22,512 --> 00:06:24,427 Haven't you ever sold a bunch of shoulder pads 173 00:06:24,558 --> 00:06:25,776 that fell off the back of a truck? 174 00:06:25,907 --> 00:06:27,387 Absolutely not. 175 00:06:27,517 --> 00:06:29,954 I buy 'em from a reputable company named Tuffy. 176 00:06:30,085 --> 00:06:31,434 Boring. 177 00:06:40,835 --> 00:06:42,706 I smell your shampoo. 178 00:06:42,837 --> 00:06:44,186 Aw, damn it. 179 00:06:44,316 --> 00:06:46,493 How long have you been sitting out there? 180 00:06:46,623 --> 00:06:48,495 All night.And why? 181 00:06:48,625 --> 00:06:50,366 [sighs heavily] 182 00:06:50,497 --> 00:06:52,324 Are you familiar with Arkham Asylum from the Batmancomics? 183 00:06:52,455 --> 00:06:53,761 No.Well, it's a madhouse, 184 00:06:53,891 --> 00:06:55,850 as is my dormitory after the sun goes down. 185 00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:57,808 Sheldon, I am the president of this university. 186 00:06:57,939 --> 00:06:59,636 I don't handle noise complaints. 187 00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:01,638 That's why there's a resident advisor. 188 00:07:01,769 --> 00:07:04,162 Oh, I went to him.And? 189 00:07:04,293 --> 00:07:05,512 You saw me sleeping on the bench like a hobo. 190 00:07:05,642 --> 00:07:06,991 What do you think?Can't you just-- 191 00:07:07,122 --> 00:07:08,950 I don't know-- chalk this up as 192 00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:10,604 part of the college experience? 193 00:07:10,734 --> 00:07:12,606 Yeah, the clown college experience. 194 00:07:12,736 --> 00:07:14,259 I'm sorry. I'm cranky. [sniffles, clears throat] 195 00:07:14,390 --> 00:07:16,261 I've compiled a list of reasons 196 00:07:16,392 --> 00:07:19,221 why I should be appointed the dormitory R.A. 197 00:07:19,351 --> 00:07:21,005 Number one...Fine. You're the R.A. 198 00:07:21,136 --> 00:07:23,747 Okay. "Number one: I love rules-- 199 00:07:23,878 --> 00:07:25,270 "creating them, following them, 200 00:07:25,401 --> 00:07:26,881 and most fun of all, enforcing them." 201 00:07:27,011 --> 00:07:28,230 You're the R.A., Sheldon. 202 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:30,145 Excellent. "Number two-- punishment 203 00:07:30,275 --> 00:07:32,408 for rule infractions must be both fair and merciless." 204 00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:42,374 Hmm.Ooh. Eggs andpancakes. 205 00:07:42,505 --> 00:07:46,117 That's what a lumberjack gets for chopping all that wood. 206 00:07:46,248 --> 00:07:48,076 [laughs] I'll be Paul Bunyan, 207 00:07:48,206 --> 00:07:50,600 you can be my babe, the blue fox.[laughs] 208 00:07:50,731 --> 00:07:53,081 [laughing]: George. 209 00:07:53,211 --> 00:07:55,213 Ugh. Still? 210 00:07:55,344 --> 00:07:56,432 Morning, honey. 211 00:07:56,563 --> 00:07:57,781 What is happening with you two? 212 00:07:57,912 --> 00:07:59,087 What do you mean? 213 00:07:59,217 --> 00:08:00,480 Is one of you dying? 214 00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:02,612 No one's dying. 215 00:08:02,743 --> 00:08:04,266 Sometimes, married people kiss. 216 00:08:04,396 --> 00:08:06,573 On TV maybe, not here. 217 00:08:06,703 --> 00:08:10,620 Well, young lady, how do you think you came into this world? 218 00:08:10,751 --> 00:08:13,754 Okay, you're freaking me out. 219 00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:20,674 Here you go, as advertised. 220 00:08:22,937 --> 00:08:26,027 All right. Those look good. 221 00:08:26,157 --> 00:08:28,682 Wait. Hold on. How do we know they work? 222 00:08:28,812 --> 00:08:31,554 What kind of operation you think I'm running here? 223 00:08:31,685 --> 00:08:34,905 Well, I don't know. The word "sketchy" comes to mind. 224 00:08:35,036 --> 00:08:36,211 Be cool. 225 00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:38,866 Uh, you mind if we plug a couple in? 226 00:08:38,996 --> 00:08:40,650 Mind if you show me the money? 227 00:08:40,781 --> 00:08:42,957 Sure. Turn around. 228 00:08:43,087 --> 00:08:44,175 Why? 229 00:08:44,306 --> 00:08:46,264 You want the money or not? 230 00:08:47,483 --> 00:08:48,832 [whispering]: Okay, go ahead. 231 00:08:48,963 --> 00:08:51,008 Yeah. 232 00:09:01,149 --> 00:09:02,324 Okay. 233 00:09:02,454 --> 00:09:04,805 20 grand. 234 00:09:04,935 --> 00:09:06,371 [chuckling softly]Light 'em up. 235 00:09:06,502 --> 00:09:08,678 [sighs] 236 00:09:10,332 --> 00:09:13,596 [tunes playing, whooshing, pinging] 237 00:09:16,294 --> 00:09:18,949 That's the sexiest thing I've ever seen in my life. 238 00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:21,038 Really? 239 00:09:21,169 --> 00:09:23,519 Well, I just took my pants off. 240 00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:25,434 SHELDON [on bullhorn]: Attention, residents of Bower Hall. 241 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:28,350 My name is Sheldon Cooper, and I'm your new R.A. 242 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:30,265 The age of chaos is over. 243 00:09:30,395 --> 00:09:31,571 I repeat, the age of chaos is over. 244 00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:33,137 Please take a moment 245 00:09:33,268 --> 00:09:34,748 to familiarize yourself with the dormitory rules 246 00:09:34,878 --> 00:09:36,793 posted on the bulletin board. 247 00:09:36,924 --> 00:09:40,492 Ignorance of these rules is no excuse, and violators will be... 248 00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:42,625 [bullhorn squeaks] 249 00:09:45,410 --> 00:09:48,239 New rule. Unauthorized use of my bullhorn is forbidden. 250 00:09:48,370 --> 00:09:51,112 I repeat. Unauthorized...STUDENT [on bullhorn]: Shut up. 251 00:09:51,242 --> 00:09:53,244 [knocking] 252 00:09:53,375 --> 00:09:54,637 Anybody home? 253 00:09:54,768 --> 00:09:57,292 [sighs]Oh, good. You're here. 254 00:09:57,422 --> 00:09:59,163 Hey. 255 00:09:59,294 --> 00:10:01,078 Check it out. I got this video about childbirth. 256 00:10:01,209 --> 00:10:02,558 I thought we could watch it tonight. 257 00:10:02,689 --> 00:10:04,081 That sounds awful. 258 00:10:04,212 --> 00:10:06,475 Well, it does say "contains graphic images" 259 00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,172 right there on the box. 260 00:10:08,303 --> 00:10:10,435 Maybe some other time, Georgie. 261 00:10:10,566 --> 00:10:12,699 No worries. I also picked up Look Who's Talking, 262 00:10:12,829 --> 00:10:15,179 which is just about a baby who says stuff. 263 00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:17,094 If you're trying to make this, like, a date night 264 00:10:17,225 --> 00:10:19,053 or something, it's not happening. 265 00:10:19,183 --> 00:10:20,794 Oh, who said anything about a date? 266 00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:23,361 It's just us having dinner and watching a movie. 267 00:10:23,492 --> 00:10:25,581 Last time we did that I wound up pregnant. 268 00:10:25,712 --> 00:10:27,931 Mm, that was a good date. 269 00:10:28,062 --> 00:10:30,194 Well, that's not happening tonight. 270 00:10:30,325 --> 00:10:31,892 I get it. Nothing romantic. 271 00:10:32,022 --> 00:10:34,329 Just two future parents watching the miracle of childbirth 272 00:10:34,459 --> 00:10:37,767 or a movie that got two thumbs up from Siskel and Ebert. 273 00:10:37,898 --> 00:10:39,334 SHELDON: And not only that. 274 00:10:39,464 --> 00:10:40,988 Then someone defaced my rule sheet 275 00:10:41,118 --> 00:10:42,598 with a drawing of testicles. 276 00:10:42,729 --> 00:10:43,991 [muffled laugh] 277 00:10:44,121 --> 00:10:46,341 Well, that is so immature. 278 00:10:46,471 --> 00:10:48,604 I agree. Simply naming me dorm R.A. isn't enough 279 00:10:48,735 --> 00:10:50,127 to command respect. 280 00:10:50,258 --> 00:10:51,955 I need a physical symbol of my authority, 281 00:10:52,086 --> 00:10:53,435 like the way a king had a scepter. 282 00:10:53,565 --> 00:10:55,306 So, you want a scepter? 283 00:10:55,437 --> 00:10:57,526 No, that could be used against me. 284 00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:58,832 Ooh, how about a badge? 285 00:10:58,962 --> 00:11:00,268 I'd be like a Texas Ranger 286 00:11:00,398 --> 00:11:01,965 who patrols the halls of a dormitory. 287 00:11:02,096 --> 00:11:04,925 Well, these all just such terrific ideas but, 288 00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:07,667 um, how about an official letter from my desk 289 00:11:07,797 --> 00:11:11,061 with a handwritten note attesting to your position? 290 00:11:11,192 --> 00:11:15,631 All right. "To the students of Bower Hall." 291 00:11:15,762 --> 00:11:17,111 That's your handwriting? 292 00:11:18,112 --> 00:11:19,940 "This document 293 00:11:20,070 --> 00:11:24,379 "bestows on Sheldon Cooper all the powers 294 00:11:24,509 --> 00:11:26,686 and privileges of resident advisor." 295 00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:28,122 "Bestows." I like it. 296 00:11:31,125 --> 00:11:33,214 Sloppy, but I like it. 297 00:11:33,344 --> 00:11:35,216 ♪ I can see a new horizon ♪ 298 00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:36,826 ♪ Realize♪ 299 00:11:36,957 --> 00:11:38,610 ♪ That will keep me realizin' ♪ 300 00:11:38,741 --> 00:11:41,657 ♪ You're the biggest part of me... ♪ 301 00:11:41,788 --> 00:11:43,093 Nope. 302 00:11:43,224 --> 00:11:44,616 ♪ Need your lovin' here beside... ♪ 303 00:11:45,661 --> 00:11:47,619 DALE: Well, I got to tell you, 304 00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:50,187 that was pretty exciting.Mm. I told you. 305 00:11:50,318 --> 00:11:52,276 For a while there, I felt like Bonnie and Clyde, 306 00:11:52,407 --> 00:11:54,278 without all the murder and mayhem. 307 00:11:54,409 --> 00:11:56,890 Well, the night's still young. 308 00:11:58,674 --> 00:12:02,025 So at the risk of sounding more like Bonnie than Clyde, uh, 309 00:12:02,156 --> 00:12:04,419 where do we stand in our relationship? 310 00:12:04,549 --> 00:12:07,030 You're the one who broke up with me. 311 00:12:07,161 --> 00:12:10,642 Oh, maybe I've rethought the situation. 312 00:12:10,773 --> 00:12:12,383 So you were wrong. 313 00:12:12,514 --> 00:12:16,039 I don't believe there's any right or wrong here. 314 00:12:16,170 --> 00:12:19,086 Say it. Say you were wrong. 315 00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:21,697 I do regret it. 316 00:12:21,828 --> 00:12:24,439 Because... you were... 317 00:12:24,569 --> 00:12:26,180 wrong. 318 00:12:27,485 --> 00:12:28,530 Yes. 319 00:12:30,053 --> 00:12:32,099 So what do you say-- you want to give it another chance? 320 00:12:32,229 --> 00:12:33,448 Hang on. 321 00:12:33,578 --> 00:12:34,797 Just give me a straight answer. 322 00:12:34,928 --> 00:12:36,756 I'm a big boy. I can take it. 323 00:12:36,886 --> 00:12:38,366 I think we're being followed. 324 00:12:38,496 --> 00:12:40,150 What? 325 00:12:40,281 --> 00:12:41,543 No. 326 00:12:41,673 --> 00:12:43,545 The pickup truck? 327 00:12:43,675 --> 00:12:44,894 The orange Pinto. 328 00:12:45,025 --> 00:12:46,504 I saw it when we gassed up. 329 00:12:46,635 --> 00:12:48,071 It's been two cars back ever since. 330 00:12:48,202 --> 00:12:50,552 I'm gonna speed up and see what happens. 331 00:12:50,682 --> 00:12:52,554 [engine revving] 332 00:12:52,684 --> 00:12:54,077 We're being followed. 333 00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:55,383 Are you still excited? 334 00:12:55,513 --> 00:12:56,906 No, I'm upset. 335 00:12:57,037 --> 00:12:57,951 Good. 336 00:12:58,081 --> 00:12:59,866 Then we're on the same page. 337 00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:08,265 [rock music playing] 338 00:13:08,396 --> 00:13:10,398 Open up. It's the R.A. 339 00:13:11,573 --> 00:13:13,053 Yeah? 340 00:13:13,183 --> 00:13:15,055 It's quiet hours. You have to turn the music off. 341 00:13:15,185 --> 00:13:16,970 Says who?Me, the R.A. 342 00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:18,667 You probably didn't hear me over the music. 343 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:23,237 Maybe this will convince you. 344 00:13:23,367 --> 00:13:24,586 Her cursive is maybe questionable, 345 00:13:24,716 --> 00:13:26,414 but trust me, my authority is not. 346 00:13:29,591 --> 00:13:31,985 ♪ I know, yeah... ♪ 347 00:13:32,115 --> 00:13:34,857 Joke's on you. I have Scotch tape. 348 00:13:36,554 --> 00:13:38,687 I don't see him anywhere. Do you? 349 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:41,081 Nope.Oh, man. 350 00:13:41,211 --> 00:13:43,344 Well, now that that's over, I'm starting 351 00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:45,172 to feel the excitement again.[chuckles] 352 00:13:45,302 --> 00:13:47,261 Crazy, right? I think that's the way danger works. 353 00:13:47,391 --> 00:13:49,916 Oh, it's like a rollercoaster. 354 00:13:50,046 --> 00:13:51,613 [laughs]Well, 355 00:13:51,743 --> 00:13:54,529 ain't this a coincidence. 356 00:13:54,659 --> 00:13:56,096 Oh, come on. 357 00:13:56,226 --> 00:13:57,793 [sighs] 358 00:13:59,142 --> 00:14:01,101 What's up?Mom and Dad are being weird. 359 00:14:01,231 --> 00:14:02,450 Can I hang out here? 360 00:14:02,580 --> 00:14:03,930 Actually, ain't a good time. 361 00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:05,235 Come on in, Missy. 362 00:14:06,976 --> 00:14:08,499 Dang it. 363 00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:10,110 Sucker. 364 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:11,111 Good.[door closes] 365 00:14:11,241 --> 00:14:12,590 Ooh, Look Who's Talking. 366 00:14:12,721 --> 00:14:14,854 Classic.Hey, did you know 367 00:14:14,984 --> 00:14:16,681 the baby is the guy from Die Hard? 368 00:14:16,812 --> 00:14:18,988 No.Yeah. 369 00:14:19,119 --> 00:14:20,381 He can do everything. 370 00:14:20,511 --> 00:14:21,469 I was sitting there. 371 00:14:21,599 --> 00:14:22,992 Yeah, well, now you're not. 372 00:14:23,123 --> 00:14:24,254 I'm being nothing but nice here. 373 00:14:24,385 --> 00:14:25,690 I don't know why you got to give me a hard time. 374 00:14:25,821 --> 00:14:28,215 Why? I'll tell you why. 375 00:14:28,345 --> 00:14:30,870 You ruined my life. Is that enough "why" for you? 376 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,523 Hey, you weren't so innocent. 377 00:14:32,654 --> 00:14:34,699 If I recall, you provided alcohol to a minor-- me. 378 00:14:34,830 --> 00:14:36,092 That's illegal. 379 00:14:36,223 --> 00:14:38,703 You lied about your age.You lied first. 380 00:14:38,834 --> 00:14:40,836 Okay, you know what? Let's not do this in front of your sister. 381 00:14:40,967 --> 00:14:43,230 It actually feels normal. Keep going. 382 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:45,797 And let's not forget, I only lied 'cause you're hot. 383 00:14:45,928 --> 00:14:48,017 Oh, my God. We don't need 384 00:14:48,148 --> 00:14:49,540 to watch a movie about a talking baby. 385 00:14:49,671 --> 00:14:51,020 You're right here. 386 00:14:52,848 --> 00:14:53,980 Ooh, lock the door, lock the door. 387 00:14:54,110 --> 00:14:56,504 No one's home.Just in case. 388 00:14:58,288 --> 00:14:59,768 [both laughing] 389 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,075 Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.Mmm. Mmm. 390 00:15:02,205 --> 00:15:05,687 I have a wild and crazy idea.Ooh, 391 00:15:05,817 --> 00:15:07,254 I like where this is headed. 392 00:15:07,384 --> 00:15:10,257 Let's make a baby. 393 00:15:10,387 --> 00:15:12,955 You're kidding, right? 394 00:15:13,086 --> 00:15:16,916 I don't know. It might be fun to start over. 395 00:15:17,046 --> 00:15:19,614 Fun? What house you been living in? 396 00:15:19,744 --> 00:15:23,400 I'm serious. We've been getting along so great, 397 00:15:23,531 --> 00:15:26,708 and I have all this extra time on my hands. 398 00:15:26,838 --> 00:15:28,753 Uh, let's take advantage. 399 00:15:28,884 --> 00:15:31,191 Your son's about to have a baby. You can take care of that one. 400 00:15:31,321 --> 00:15:32,757 No, my mother called dibs. 401 00:15:32,888 --> 00:15:34,759 Your mother's a million years old. 402 00:15:34,890 --> 00:15:36,109 You think she's gonna be changing diapers 403 00:15:36,239 --> 00:15:37,980 in the middle of the night?[scoffs] 404 00:15:38,111 --> 00:15:39,547 I'll tell you what your problem is. 405 00:15:39,677 --> 00:15:40,722 you got kicked out of your church, 406 00:15:40,852 --> 00:15:42,854 your-your kids are grown up, 407 00:15:42,985 --> 00:15:44,900 you're feeling sorry for yourself, and, 408 00:15:45,031 --> 00:15:47,207 yeah, you think a baby'll solve the problem. 409 00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:51,385 Well? Say something. 410 00:15:51,515 --> 00:15:54,214 You make me so mad. 411 00:15:55,519 --> 00:15:57,565 Where you going? 412 00:15:57,695 --> 00:15:59,741 We can still do it mad. 413 00:15:59,871 --> 00:16:03,223 So what do you want, uh... 414 00:16:04,746 --> 00:16:06,574 Dennis.Right. 415 00:16:06,704 --> 00:16:09,403 Dennis. Tough name. 416 00:16:09,533 --> 00:16:12,667 So what do you want... Dennis? 417 00:16:12,797 --> 00:16:16,801 Couldn't help noticing you got Texas plates on that truck. 418 00:16:16,932 --> 00:16:20,936 Operating poker machines ain't legal in Texas. 419 00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:22,720 So what are you, a cop? 420 00:16:22,851 --> 00:16:26,072 No, no, I'm just a guy who might call the cops, you know, 421 00:16:26,202 --> 00:16:29,162 if we don't come to an arrangement. 422 00:16:29,292 --> 00:16:30,598 Can I take your order? 423 00:16:30,728 --> 00:16:32,252 DENNIS: Thank you, honey. 424 00:16:32,382 --> 00:16:34,123 You know, I got a hankering for chicken fried steak. 425 00:16:34,254 --> 00:16:37,735 Gravy on top, but only if it's cream gravy. 426 00:16:37,866 --> 00:16:42,131 And the mashed potatoes with more cream and gravy on top. 427 00:16:42,262 --> 00:16:45,134 And, uh, ice tea when you can. 428 00:16:45,265 --> 00:16:47,484 No gravy on that. [clicks tongue] 429 00:16:47,615 --> 00:16:49,617 And how about for you two? 430 00:16:49,747 --> 00:16:52,707 I'm gonna use your restroom. 431 00:16:52,837 --> 00:16:55,144 He knows what I like. 432 00:16:55,275 --> 00:16:57,277 You're leaving?Uh-huh. 433 00:16:57,407 --> 00:17:00,236 I got to tinkle.Uh. 434 00:17:01,237 --> 00:17:03,196 Uh, 435 00:17:03,326 --> 00:17:06,634 I guess I'll have the waffles, 436 00:17:06,764 --> 00:17:09,637 and the lady will have, um... 437 00:17:09,767 --> 00:17:11,639 [clears throat] 438 00:17:11,769 --> 00:17:14,120 ...also waffles. 439 00:17:15,425 --> 00:17:18,254 So, what do you think? 440 00:17:18,385 --> 00:17:19,908 Well, Dennis, I'm not the guy to talk to. 441 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:23,651 Uh, why don't we wait for the boss to finish tinkling? 442 00:17:23,781 --> 00:17:27,002 [country music playing] 443 00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:29,831 But I do got to tell you, this is my first shakedown. 444 00:17:29,961 --> 00:17:31,833 Don't think of it like that. 445 00:17:31,963 --> 00:17:34,183 It's just a business arrangement. 446 00:17:34,314 --> 00:17:36,533 Well, I've been a businessman for 38 years, 447 00:17:36,664 --> 00:17:39,232 and I don't think I've ever been threatened before. [laughs] 448 00:17:39,362 --> 00:17:41,321 What kind of business you in? 449 00:17:44,454 --> 00:17:47,066 Hello?Huh? 450 00:17:47,196 --> 00:17:49,807 What kind of business you in? 451 00:17:52,723 --> 00:17:54,595 Groomer.Hmm. 452 00:17:54,725 --> 00:17:56,336 Dog groomer, yeah. 453 00:17:56,466 --> 00:18:01,297 Cats if you make me, but I pretty much love the doggies. 454 00:18:01,428 --> 00:18:02,603 DENNIS: You ever do birds? 455 00:18:02,733 --> 00:18:05,388 No. Mm-hmm. Birds got feathers, 456 00:18:05,519 --> 00:18:08,304 and they're... they're self-grooming, pretty much. 457 00:18:08,435 --> 00:18:10,915 Yeah, I always thought cats were self-grooming. 458 00:18:11,046 --> 00:18:14,223 Well, people think that, but, no. No, you got to... 459 00:18:14,354 --> 00:18:16,617 You got to dip a cat once in a while. 460 00:18:18,227 --> 00:18:19,924 Well, okay then. 461 00:18:20,055 --> 00:18:22,318 Where are you going? 462 00:18:22,449 --> 00:18:25,147 Dennis, I am really sorry about this. 463 00:18:35,244 --> 00:18:36,854 [loud knocking] 464 00:18:36,985 --> 00:18:39,292 May I help you? 465 00:18:39,422 --> 00:18:40,467 There's no hot water. 466 00:18:40,597 --> 00:18:42,077 There is for rule followers. 467 00:18:42,208 --> 00:18:43,383 You can't just turn off the hot water. 468 00:18:43,513 --> 00:18:44,688 Yeah.Yeah. 469 00:18:44,819 --> 00:18:46,168 If you want the benefits of civilization, 470 00:18:46,299 --> 00:18:47,517 you have to behave in a civilized manner. 471 00:18:47,648 --> 00:18:49,258 The decision is yours. 472 00:18:50,999 --> 00:18:53,828 I don't need a pen and paper to take names. 473 00:18:53,958 --> 00:18:55,830 [rock music playing loudly]You. What's your name? 474 00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,006 You know I'll find out and there will be consequences. 475 00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:01,357 Hey, what are you... [muffled grunting] 476 00:19:08,886 --> 00:19:11,759 Captioning sponsored by CBS 477 00:19:11,889 --> 00:19:14,762 WARNER BROS. TELEVISION 478 00:19:14,892 --> 00:19:17,808 and TOYOTA. 479 00:19:17,939 --> 00:19:20,898 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org