ANNOUNCER: Tonight on Hard Quiz,
it's a Battle of the Duds.
Sam.
Teacher.
Expert subject -
colonoscopies.
Bel.
Teacher.
Expert subject -
nu metal band Slipknot.
Jasmine.
Process engineer.
Expert subject -
The Lion King.
Takura.
Consultant.
Expert subject -
disaster film Armageddon.
Here's your host, Tom Gleeson. Yes!
Hello!
Duds! Duds!
Welcome to Hard Quiz.
These contestants have already had a go and mucked it up.
This is not a champions round,
this is a Battle of the Duds!
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
To be part of the show at home, (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
To be part of the show at home,
go to the ABC TV and iview socials.
Let's say hello, again.
G'day, Takura. Let's say hello, again.
G'day, Takura. Tom, how are you?
Now, Armageddon was your expert subject.
Now, Armageddon Unfortunately.
So what happened last time?
Was it a complete disaster, So what happened last time?
Was it a complete disaster, like the film?
I just did not meteor the expectations.
I just did not (LAUGHTER)
(APPLAUSE)
Dud joke from a dud contestant.
(LAUGHTER)
Now, you said you got all your questions wrong last time
because you weren't listening properly.
Yes. (LAUGHS)
Are there not enough explosions in this show
Are there not enough explosions to keep you, you know, occupied?
No, you see, the problem is you're so distracting
that I don't pay attention.
I'm so distracting that... Yeah.
..you just don't listen to anything I'm saying.
..you just don't listen At all. At all.
How am I distracting? I'm just a man talking.
That, Tom, is exactly the problem.
(LAUGHTER)
(APPLAUSE)
So have you watched any other good movies since you've been on,
or have you just been watching Armageddon?
I have just been watching it on repeat.
Oh, there we are.
Yeah, I really did hit rock bottom.
Um, and I've just decided, you know what?
I'm just going to continue digging.
OK.
So you don't even like the film anymore?
So you don't even No, I do not!
(LAUGHTER)
Jasmine.
Hey, Tom! It's so nice to see you again.
Hey, Tom! It's so nice (LAUGHTER)
Now, Lion King (LAUGHTER)
Now, Lion King is your expert subject.
Now, Lion King Yes, indeed.
Now, when you were on last time
you showed us a tattoo Now, when you were on last time
you showed us a tattoo that your mum hadn't seen.
Yeah.
So how did that go down with your mother?
So, basically, we went on holiday,
and when Dad left the room, she took me aside and said,
"I have a lot to say to you right now,
"but for the sake of the family holiday,
"but for the sake "I'm just going to shut up."
(LAUGHTER)
So she didn't talk for the rest of the holiday?
What a treat!
(LAUGHTER)
No, I just got the disapproving looks.
Have you got any other tattoos since then?
I think you know the answer to that, Tom.
Does your mother know about these ones
or is she learning about these for the first time?
or is she learning about these Um, well, she's seen this one,
and I told her it meant Um, well, she's seen this one,
and I told her it meant 'Hakuna matata.'
and I told her it meant Oh. What's it actually say?
Top Cock. Oh.
Top Cock. (LAUGHTER)
What's the significance of 'Top Cock'?
It's to honour, like, the friends that I went on the trip with.
Our little group is called, like, Top Cock.
Our little group is called, like, But none of them got one, so...
(LAUGHTER)
Did you go first?
Yeah. (LAUGHS)
And then you walked out like, "Yeah! Top Cock!"
They're like, "We're done."
(LAUGHTER)
Bel. Hi.
So Jasmine has one tiny little tattoo.
Uh, I'm thinking that you think she's a lightweight.
Uh, I'm thinking that you think (LAUGHTER)
Because you've got a new tattoo sleeve.
Yeah. What do you got?
Yeah. Twin Peaks theme.
Twin Peaks. Yes.
And also you've got Slipknot,
which is your subject, as a back tattoo.
Yes. So are you just into incoherent shit?
(LAUGHTER) Yeah!
(LAUGHTER) Stuff that doesn't make sense.
Yeah, it really speaks to me.
I'm a pretty big Yeah, it really speaks to me.
I'm a pretty big peddler of bullshit myself.
I'm a pretty big (LAUGHTER)
So last time you were on, you got a bit confused between cats and dogs,
but now you've rectified that mix-up
by getting a second job at an animal shelter.
by getting a second job I work at the RSPCA.
OK. I work at the RSPCA.
OK. I'm an animal care officer in cats.
OK. (APPLAUSE)
Do you traumatise the animals by playing Slipknot?
(LAUGHTER) Actually, they quite like it.
Oh, really? Yeah!
A lot of the high frequencies set them off.
I think it's preferable to my usual singing, so...
Sam! Yes!
Oh, I'm so glad to be back.
Sam, you're back again talking about colonoscopies.
You bet. That's it.
I feel like you're a case of irritable bowel I can't get rid of.
Well, Tom, I just I felt like not getting through the final round,
I needed to be probed a little bit more, so...
I needed to be probed (LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
Now, when you were on the show last,
you told us that you had booked in Now, when you were on the show last,
you told us that you had booked in for your ninth colonoscopy.
I did. Can I give you a report on that?
I did. Yeah, we should just point out
for anyone who hasn't seen Yeah, we should just point out
for anyone who hasn't seen the last episode,
your interest isn't professional,
it's...you're an amateur enthusiast.
Yeah.
I love this stuff. Anyway...
Yeah, so I went. Yeah, so I have I love this stuff. Anyway...
Yeah, so I went. Yeah, so I have this routine after every procedure.
Um, as soon as, you know, everything's been evacuated.
I just want to shove stuff straight back in.
Well, yeah, you're a teacher at a Christian school.
Well, yeah, you're a teacher How do they feel about your, um...
..you're very public enthusiasm towards colonoscopies?
There's nothing shameful about a colonoscopy, Tom.
So you're saying part of you being here
is to get rid of the stigma
and make people realise that getting examined
and make people realise is perfectly fine and good to do.
Yeah. And hilarious too.
(LAUGHTER)
Let's play - hard!
Expert round.
Expert subject.
Win or lose five points.
Steal an answer - double points.
Let's start with Sam and his expert subject, colonoscopies.
Let's start with Sam and his (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
When preparing for a colonoscopy,
patients are required to drink
several litres of fluid patients are required to drink
several litres of fluid with a laxative
and maintain a diet of what colour foods?
Bel for the steal.
White.
Correct.
It's also the diet of a racist.
Here's actor Ryan Reynolds in 2021 after his colonoscopy.
You did such a good prep
that I was able to find an extremely subtle (BLEEP)
that it was on the right side of your colon.
This was potentially lifesaving for you.
I'm not kidding. I'm not being overly dramatic.
I'm not kidding. A precursor to colorectal cancer,
what common growth did the doctor remove from Ryan's...
Sam. Polyp.
Sam. Correct.
In the early 1800s,
German physician Philipp Bozzini
invented the Lichtleiter, a viewing tool
that illuminated the patient's insides
that illuminated using what light source?
Sam. Candle.
Sam. Correct.
That's horrific!
Pretty risky move when you think about it.
You know, you'd be like, "Hold still, don't fart."
You know, you'd be like, Um...
"My eyebrows have only just grown back."
Lesions that require further analysis
are marked using needles
to apply permanent ink in a process known as endoscopic WHAT?
to apply permanent ink in a process Sam.
Biopsies.
Incorrect.
For the steal, it's Bel!
Tattooing?
Correct.
Another one for you.
Last question in your set, Sam.
Developed using gaming technology,
this colonoscopy simulator
was created by which Australian this colonoscopy simulator
was created by which Australian government agency?
Takura for the steal.
CSIRO.
Correct. Double points for you.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
I can't wait for it to come out on Xbox.
Oh, look! I'm in Ryan Reynold's arse!
Alright, time now for Bel and Slipknot.
Alright, time now (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
The Grammy winning nu metal band began in the 1990s,
when the founding members met up with the drummer
while he did night shifts at what workplace?
(QUIETLY) Oh. What's it called?
(BUZZ!) (QUIETLY) Oh. What's it called?
(BUZZ!)
Time's up.
Petrol station.
Oh! I thought you meant the actual name.
(LAUGHTER)
Believing that it lacked tension and pain,
in 2014, Clown said his least favourite album
was the number one hit All Hope Is WHAT?
Bel. Gone.
Bel. Correct.
Departing after 27 years in the band
was sampler and keyboardist Craig Jones,
who is known as WHAT head?
Bel. Pin.
Bel. Correct.
The band's first demo album was titled Mate, Feed, Kill, Repeat
The band's first demo album and was released on what holiday?
Bel. Halloween?
Bel. Correct.
Last question in your set, Bel.
Frontman Corey Taylor, shown here in a recent mask,
Frontman Corey Taylor, created one of his earliest masks
by cutting off what part of himself created one of his earliest masks
by cutting off what part of himself to attach to it?
by cutting off what part of himself Bel.
His hair, his dreadlocks.
Correct.
He looks like he's just come from Bali.
Next set of questions is for Jasmine on The Lion King.
Next set of questions (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
Many different African languages
have appeared across Many different African languages
have appeared across The Lion King franchise.
have appeared across Have a listen to this.
# Nants ingonyama
What language is that?
For the steal, it's Takura.
Xhosa.
Incorrect.
Sam for the steal.
Swahili.
Incorrect. Jasmine.
Zulu.
Correct.
That's the Steven Bradbury.
Initially uncredited for his work as Darth Vader in Star Wars,
James Earl Jones is a voice actor in The Lion...
James Earl Jones is a voice actor Takura for the steal.
Mufasa.
Correct.
Double points to you.
..is a voice actor in The Lion King original and remake,
..is a voice actor in The Lion King playing which role?
Mufasa is correct.
When Simba and his friends are en route to confront Scar,
the meerkat Timon distracts the hyaena guards
the meerkat Timon with what traditional Hawaiian dance?
Jasmine. A hula dance.
Correct.
Elton John intended Can You Feel the Love Tonight
as a duet between lions
and was horrified to hear a version sung by what animal?
and was horrified to hear Jasmine.
I actually don't know this.
Um...
Too slow.
It's wide open.
For the steal, it's Bel.
Meerkat?
Incorrect.
It's wide open.
(BUZZ!)
Time's up.
The correct answer is warthog.
Oh! Oh, damn it!
Oh! One of two.
Yeah, at one point, One of two.
Yeah, at one point, the song was a duet
Yeah, at one point, between the warthog and the meerkat.
Last question in your set, Jasmine.
In Scar's first scene after he becomes king,
In Scar's first scene he shouts, "Anything but that!"
when Zazu sings he shouts, "Anything but that!"
when Zazu sings what cloying Disneyland song?
when Zazu sings Jasmine.
# It's a small world after all... #
Correct.
Last set in the expert round is Takura and Armageddon.
Armageddon begins 65 million years in the past
Armageddon begins 65 million years with an asteroid hitting the Earth
in a scene narrated by which Planet Of The Apes star?
Takura.
Charlton Heston.
Correct.
To plant a bomb inside an asteroid and blow it apart,
To plant a bomb inside an asteroid a team of drillers is enlisted
due to their experience a team of drillers is enlisted
due to their experience working on what offshore platforms?
due to their experience Takura.
(LAUGHS) Oil rigs, for some reason.
Correct.
Yeah, Ben Affleck says that he still doesn't understand
why they trained oil drillers to go to space,
rather than training astronauts to drill for oil.
The film's first meteor shower
destroys New York landmarks The film's first meteor shower
destroys New York landmarks like Grand Central Station
destroys New York landmarks and which Art Deco...
Jasmine for the steal.
Um, I'm just gonna guess.
The Statue of Liberty.
Incorrect.
I'll finish the question.
..which Art Deco skyscraper?
Oh!
It's wide open.
For the steal it's Sam.
Empire State Building.
Incorrect.
Takura. Sears Tower?
Takura. Incorrect.
Bel, what are you doing?!
(LAUGHTER)
I don't know? What am I doing?
No, what's the answer? Oh.
The Iron?
I have to remind myself every now and then that these are duds.
I have to remind myself every (LAUGHTER)
(APPLAUSE)
No, the answer is the Chrysler Building.
(CONTESTANTS GROAN) Yeah.
Probably the most famous Art Deco building in New York.
The question could have almost been,
"Name an Art Deco building in New York."
Before the shoot began,
director Michael Bay made the production pay $20,000...
Takura.
His teeth. Ben Affleck's teeth.
Correct.
..to make what cosmetic change to Ben Affleck's face?
..to make what cosmetic change Yeah, they gave him new teeth.
Michael Bay said Affleck had baby teeth.
Let's see for ourselves.
Here's Ben's teeth before Armageddon,
Here's Ben's teeth and here they are in the movie.
Last question in your set, Takura.
One of the film's many scientific inaccuracies
is Billy Bob Thornton's character
claiming that nothing will survive the asteroid,
claiming that not even what microscopic life?
Jasmine for the steal.
Plankton.
Incorrect.
Takura. Incorrect.
Takura. Bacteria.
Oh! Correct.
Alright, we've looked through their subjects,
Alright, we've looked through now let's look through mine.
This week I've been really getting into garbage.
This week I've been really getting I love garbage.
It's what we release "exclusive to iview".
This round is multiple choice.
Select your answers on your screens and press the buzzer
Select your answers on your screens to lock in the answer.
You need to get a few to lock in the answer.
You need to get a few garbage ones right, Sam.
You need to get a few Yeah. I need quite a few, don't I?
The so-called Great Pacific Garbage Patch is not visible from space
due to primarily consisting of what type of debris?
(READS OPTION) due to primarily consisting of what type of debris?
(READS OPTION)
The answer is...
..A - microplastics.
In Sesame Street, Oscar the Grouch's girlfriend
In Sesame Street, is known by what name?
(READS OPTIONS) is known by what name?
(READS OPTIONS)
The answer is...
..C - Grundgetta.
Oh! Yes!
And now here's Australian acting royalty,
Bruce Samazan.
# Yucky, yucky, yucky poo
# There's something we can do ! #
The Yucky Poo jingle was part of which national anti-litter campaign?
(READS OPTIONS) The Yucky Poo jingle was part of which national anti-litter campaign?
(READS OPTIONS)
(CHEERING)
The answer is...
..D - Clean Up Australia.
In March 2023,
rubbish accumulated on the streets of Paris for over two weeks
as garbage collectors protested WHAT?
(READS OPTIONS)
(CHEERING)
The answer is...
..A - a rise in the retirement age.
Last question in my round is worth double points.
Which of the following is not a method scientists have trialled
to remove leftover satellite debris from Earth's atmosphere?
(READS OPTIONS)
Is it me again?
(LAUGHTER)
(CHEERING)
The answer is...
..F - solar incinerator.
Oh!
Alright, at the end of my round,
Jasmine, you're at the bottom on -15.
Jasmine, you're at the bottom Get over here.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
Alright, Jasmine, what will your gang make of this?
Top Cock? Yeah.
I thought I'd already said it enough and I thought I'd done my quota,
I thought I'd already said it enough so I was trying to avoid it.
Oh, I mean, they'll be disappointed, so I was trying to avoid it.
Oh, I mean, they'll be disappointed, but we'll drink the problems away,
Oh, I mean, they'll be disappointed, so it's all good.
Out! (CHEERING)
There she goes.
To People's Round!
The People's Round.
Against the clock.
Settle, petal. Play along at home.
Your time starts now. Settle, petal. Play along at home.
Your time starts now.
What animal is commonly referred to as man's best friend?
What animal is commonly referred to Takura.
The dog. Takura.
The dog. Yes.
In which Olympic sport would you clean, jerk and snatch?
In which Olympic sport would Takura.
Lifting. Takura.
Lifting. No.
Weightlifting. Oh!
What term for lipstick can also describe someone being rude?
Bel. Lippy.
Bel. Yes.
Pubs and bars sell discount drinks at a time of day known as...
Pubs and bars sell discount drinks Bel. at a time of day known as... Happy hour.
Bel. Happy hour.
Bel. Yes. ..as happy WHAT? Happy hour.
Yes. ..as happy WHAT?
Happy hour is correct.
Hey, Hey It's Saturday Happy hour is correct.
Hey, Hey It's Saturday was co-hosted by which bird puppet?
Bel. Ossie the ostrich.
Bel. Yes.
Which Irish band includes four siblings from the Corr family?
Bel. The Corrs.
Bel. Yes.
Niagara Falls borders the US and which other country?
Takura. Canada.
Takura. Time's up! Got there just in time.
Correct answer.
Alright, at the end of the People's Round,
Sam, you're at the bottom on -10.
Get over here.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
So, Sam, are you going to celebrate with a big plate of white food?
Maybe a kebab.
So what do you reckon happened this time?
I don't know enough about colonoscopies.
Yeah, maybe you should just get them and not talk about them.
Yeah.
Something to scope out.
(LAUGHS)
Alright. Out!
There he goes.
Alright, only two left.
Who's going to be Alright, only two left.
Who's going to be the Hard Quiz champion?
Bel and Takura, get over here because it's time to play Hard Quiz.
Slipknot versus Armageddon.
Hard Quiz - Battle of the Duds.
Now, there can only be one Hard Quiz champion
who gets to take home the limited edition big brass mug.
What will you do with the mug if you win, Takura?
Well, I wasn't actually expecting to get this far,
so, um...
..probably wear it as a hat.
What about you, Bel?
I'm a big fan of the Slipknot percussion line,
and every musician needs their own instrument,
so I'm going to beat the living shit out of it, Tom.
I should point out it's Battle of the Duds,
so, of course, we have the dud mug...
..which has turned into a rarer item than the actual big brass mug.
So it's best of five, penalty shootout style.
Harder questions on your expert subject.
So it's Takura's knowledge of Armageddon
versus Bel's knowledge of Slipknot.
Let's play - hard!
You kind of have to win now, Takura,
having spent so much time with this horrible film
that you used to love and you now hate
'cause you've had to watch it so much.
'cause you've had to watch it Yes, that's true.
Imagine if you lose and then you go straight home
and just watch the film again, crying.
I'd rather the colonoscopy.
Takura. Yes.
Takura. After the crew land on the asteroid,
Steve Buscemi's character Rockhound...
(SNORTS WITH LAUGHTER) ..describes the landscape Steve Buscemi's character Rockhound...
(SNORTS WITH LAUGHTER) ..describes the landscape
(SNORTS WITH LAUGHTER) as WHOSE worst nightmare?
Alright, so, um, the movie was really bad.
I think this is about the time where I actually blacked out.
So I am going to go with it was Mickey Mouse's worst nightmare.
Incorrect.
The correct answer is Doctor Seuss.
Bel, revealed in a 2000 interview with Rolling Stone magazine,
Slipknot's drum technician, Satone,
got the job by doing WHAT?
Oh, my gosh.
Just when you think you know all the useless shit about something.
A few people in Slipknot got their jobs this way,
so I'm just going to go for that.
I reckon he stormed the stage at one of their concerts
and got in a punch on with someone in the band.
Close.
The correct answer is
he drank Clown's urine.
Oh, Jesus Christ!
That is so awful. Actually, yeah...
That is so awful. ..it wasn't close at all.
That's also how I got the job here.
Takura. Yes.
Takura. According to Michael Bay, Yes.
According to Michael Bay,
what is the reason that the space vehicles have machine guns?
It's based on...in America.
So I'd say it's got something to do with freedom and...
..and democracy.
And I'll probably say, 'cause it looks cool.
Incorrect.
The correct answer is
Mattel told him that trucks with guns sell more toys.
In America.
Yes. Yes.
This is the good old days
when Mattel didn't have to be ironic to sell toys.
Am I right, Barbie?
Bel, on their second studio album, Iowa,
the song 515 contains what spontaneous moment
the song 515 contains captured during the recording?
During recording,
um, Sid Wilson, During recording,
um, Sid Wilson, the band's DJ turntablist,
his grandfather was really sick,
and he actually died before Sid was able to make it back.
So he got told that... there was a phone call
So he got told that... and he got told the news,
and he was just...just making this howling, screaming noise.
It's actually a thing of beauty.
But, um, and so the band just went
shove him, shove him into the recording booth
and just let's capture it.
And it's visceral, man.
It's wicked.
Correct.
They essentially just put him in the vocal booth
and he had an emotional breakdown and they recorded it.
Yeah. Yeah. It's very, um...
Slipknot. Yeah.
Very considerate.
Yeah.
Takura, in the film,
Harry Stamper says that he and his team will go on the mission
if the US government agrees to their requests.
if the US government What is Bear's request?
OK, so that's Bear.
I remember him from the movie.
So just making sure that I'm thinking about the right movie.
He wanted to spend the night
in the Lincoln bedroom in the White Horse.
But he meant White House.
Correct.
Marty?
Bel.
Slipknot's line-up and mask designs Bel.
Slipknot's line-up and mask designs
have varied over the years.
In 2006,
accepted their Grammy Award.
four members of the nine-piece band accepted their Grammy Award.
Here they are with the nude faces. accepted their Grammy Award.
Here they are with the nude faces.
Put their masks back on
so they look respectable.
Oh! OK.
Sorry.
(GROWLS)
I don't know anymore.
It's nice to see a Slipknot fan having some quiet time.
Sorry.
Correct. (SQUEAKS) Yay!
So there they are. It's Clown, Sid, Joey and Paul.
So there they are. Yep.
And they won Best Metal Performance Yep.
And they won Best Metal Performance for the song Before I Forget.
Yeah, I don't really like that song.
You don't like that song? No.
Why don't you like it? Is it a bit too noisy?
Why don't you like it? No, it's a bit too nice.
Oh. Yeah.
You like the industrial... (GUTTURALLY) Uhh!
You like the industrial... (GROWLS GUTTURALLY)
Clang, clang, clang! (GROWLS GUTTURALLY)
Clang, clang, clang! They're my favourites too.
Marty!
Takura, Armageddon was partly filmed in NASA's 40-foot-deep swimming pool
that is used to train astronauts for zero-gravity spacewalks.
What is the name of that facility? that is used to train astronauts for zero-gravity spacewalks.
What is the name of that facility?
Um, OK, I am going to go with...
..the...
..very slow answer of the...
Got to give me time. English is my third language.
Alright, don't show off.
Uh... Oh.
OK, I'm just going to go with the Johnson Space Centre.
Incorrect.
The correct answer is the Neutral Buoyancy Lab.
The correct answer (SNORTS)
Bel, if you get this right, you are tonight's Hard Quiz champion.
Bel, if you get this right, you are Bel, in the video clip for Duality,
what song lyric is written on this wall? Bel, in the video clip for Duality,
what song lyric is written on this wall?
I'll need the complete line.
Well, that's...
..an awful question.
And it could be so many things.
Well, actually, it can only be this.
OK, true.
True.
Um... "Stop the ache."
(SQUEAKS) I don't know!
I feel like one of the cats (SQUEAKS) I don't know!
I feel like one of the cats that you work with.
Raowr!
Incorrect. Damn it!
The correct answer is "You cannot kill what you did not create."
Oh.
Well, I would never have gone for that. Oh.
Well, I would never have gone for that.
Takura, you need this. Yes.
If you get this wrong, then, Bel, you are tonight's Hard Quiz champion.
Takura, when the team are drawing straws
to see who will stay behind on the asteroid to detonate the bomb,
what colour straw does Chick draw?
Struth!
(LAUGHS)
Oh! Alrighty.
So...
(SINGS) # Red and yellow and green and blue... #
(SINGS) # Red and yellow (LAUGHTER)
I'm gonna go with orange.
Incorrect.
Correct answer is green. Incorrect. Oh, what?
Correct answer is green. Oh, what?
(LAUGHTER)
Which means, Bel, you are tonight's Hard Quiz champion!
Alright, Takura, you know what that means.
Out!
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
There he goes.
Congratulations, Bel. You are tonight's Hard Quiz champion,
which means you get the big brass mug.
(CHEERING)
It's so heavy! And you get to do the sign off.
It's so heavy! Thanks for playing...HARD!
Captions by Red Bee Media Thanks for playing...HARD!
Captions by Red Bee Media
Copyright Australian Broadcasting Corporation
(SPEAKS GUTTURALLY, LAUGHS)