ANNOUNCER: Tonight on Hard Quiz...
Lucy. Director of Learning.
Expert subject - Princess Kate.
Callum. Landscape gardener.
Expert subject - oysters.
Mark. Qualified embalmer.
Expert subject -
sci-fi series, Lost In Space.
Ruby. Photographer.
Expert subject - the Concorde.
Here's your host, Tom Gleeson.
Yes! Hello!
Hi, Ms Ita.
Welcome to Hard Quiz.
These contestants are EVs.
Last one to go flat will be tonight's These contestants are EVs.
Last one to go flat will be tonight's Hard Quiz champion!
Last one to go flat will be tonight's (WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE)
To be part of the show at home, go to the ABC TV and iview socials.
Let's say hello. G'day, Ruby. Hello.
Now, you're into the Concord? Yes, I am.
Are you sad that you'll never get to go on one?
Are you sad that you'll Yes. Yes, I am.
I know I'll always be too young and too poor.
Yeah, so why...why the interest?
Well, I'm really into air crash investigation, actually,
and that was just a particular episode that I loved.
Now, you're terrified by balloons.
Oh, yes.
Why?
I don't remember putting that on my application,
I don't remember putting that but, yeah, I'm absolutely,
absolutely terrified of balloons.
I just always, always have been.
I know you don't remember putting it on your application form,
but I've found that people write all kinds of shit on there
but I've found that people write just to get on the show.
(LAUGHTER) It worked. (LAUGHS)
You're worried about the sound of it popping? Like, what...?
Genuinely, I have no idea. It's irrational.
It's an irrational fear of balloons.
Well, clearly it's irrational.
Yes. (LAUGHS)
It'd be weird if it was rational.
OK, so you're scared of balloons,
but you really like supersonic aircraft that explode.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you enjoy that calamity.
Yeah. Whereas a balloon popping. Bleh!
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I stand by it.
How do you live Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I stand by it.
How do you live with those two thoughts?
How do you live I'm a very interesting person, Tom.
Are you? (CHUCKLES) We'll see.
Mark. Hello, Tom.
Now, you're into the TV show, Lost In Space.
I am.
It's like Gilligan's Island, but in space.
Is that fair? Yeah, very, very similar.
OK, why are you into this dorky old show?
Because I was a dorky little kid who used to...
What? Really? (LAUGHTER)
A Hard Quiz contestant was a dork when they were a child?!
A Hard Quiz contestant was a dork Holy shit!
(LAUGHTER)
Do you still watch it?
I still watch it almost every night when I go to bed.
I still watch it almost Oh.
You watch it every night? Like...
It sends me to sleep these days, which is easy at my age.
You could watch The Project. Same trick.
(LAUGHTER)
I'm joking. I don't watch The Project.
(APPLAUSE)
You're a qualified embalmer.
Yes. AUDIENCE: Ooh!
That's basically a beautician for dead people, is that right?
That's basically a beautician Something like that.
So, I'd suggest you don't say to me tonight, "You're dead to me,"
because you might not like the result.
because you might not like (WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE)
OK.
So when you retire from embalming,
do they give you some dead guy's gold watch?
I've got one or two at home with the arms still attached.
I've got one or two at home (LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)
Come on!
Callum. Hello.
Callum. Oysters is your expert subject.
Are you an oyster farmer?
No, but I used to be an oyster student.
No, but I used to be (LAUGHTER)
You used to be an oyster student? What does that mean?
I used to study oyster habitat restoration.
And then you didn't go on to use it?
No. What do you do now?
I'm a landscape gardener. Ah.
Now, you sent us a video of an oyster dropping its load.
Are you a perv?
Oh.
Yes.
(LAUGHTER)
What did you have to do to get the oyster to do that?
Um, you get it nice and hot.
Cool it down. Yeah.
Give it a bath. That's about it.
You used to study oysters, so when you were studying them,
did you ever have a cheeky snack while doing some field work?
Um, we did have a rule in one of the labs that I worked at
that if any of the oysters you were measuring
weighed more than 10g, you had to eat it.
weighed more than 10g, So, yes, sometimes.
(LAUGHS)
Mark, have you ever had (LAUGHS)
Mark, have you ever had a cheeky snack at work?
(LAUGHTER)
Yeah.
Lucy. Hi, Tom.
Lucy. Now, you're into Princess Kate.
There are a lot of princesses Now, you're into Princess Kate.
There are a lot of princesses in the world.
There are a lot of princesses Why are you into the most boring one?
Well, she's my competition.
Prince William and I were born Well, she's my competition.
Prince William and I were born just a couple of hours apart,
so naturally I took interest when they started dating.
so naturally I took interest OK.
What's significance about that? Isn't that just a coincidence?
I had hoped to grow up and become a princess myself.
I always thought Prince William was a bit of a spunk growing up,
and so when she came onto the scene,
I followed with some teenage curiosity
and look where it's brought me.
To Hard Quiz. OK.
(WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE)
Alright, do you share anything else?
Like, have you ever been upstaged Alright, do you share anything else?
Like, have you ever been upstaged by your sister's arse?
My sister is wonderful, but I think mine's probably
just, you know, that tiny bit better.
just, you know, In your face!
Now, you're into jigsaw competitions. That's correct.
Now, you're into jigsaw competitions. Here's you, I think, in competition.
Here's a list of strategies you wrote down to stay competitive
in your puzzle competitions.
The last one is, 'Keep going and think'.
The last one is, That's right.
If you hadn't written that down, That's right.
If you hadn't written that down, do you think you would
have just stared blankly at the wall?
You never know, I might have.
But I didn't have to worry about it
because I was prepared and I had a list.
(APPLAUSE)
Alright. Let's play, Hard!
ANNOUNCER: Expert round. Expert subject.
Win or lose five points.
Steal an answer, double points.
I'll ask each of you five questions on your expert subject.
Right you get five points,
wrong I will take five points from you.
The rest of you can steal at any time to get double points.
Let's start with Lucy and her expert subject, Princess Kate.
(APPLAUSE)
Princess Kate. She's so lovely.
OK.
Born Catherine Middleton in Berkshire, England,
the future Princess Kate lived from age two to four in which...?
Lucy. Jordan, Amman.
Correct!
In which Jordanian city?
The city of Amman is correct.
The veil for Kate's wedding to Prince William was embroidered
with the national flower of each country in the United Kingdom,
including the thistle, the shamrock, the rose and which other?
Lucy. The lily?
Incorrect.
It's wide open!
It's wide open! Time's up!
The daffodil. Oh.
Yeah, the daffodil is the flower of Wales.
And when the queen died, Kate became the Princess of Wales.
Committed to supporting kids in early childhood, in 2020,
Kate launched a survey titled
'Five big questions on the under...WHAT'?
Lucy. Fives.
Correct!
She got half a million responses to the survey
about what makes British kids healthy and happy.
And I know what could do that - leaving England!
And I know what could do that - (LAUGHTER)
In 2015, Kate attended her first state banquet
at Buckingham Palace, in honour of which Chinese president?
Lucy.
Xi Jinping.
Correct!
(APPLAUSE)
Yeah, there she is. "How good's communism? Cheers."
Last question in your set, Lucy.
In 2023, Kate volunteered with William and their three kids
at a scout group, where she revealed her
insect-based nickname for Prince Louis being Lou WHAT?
Lucy. Beetle?
Lucy. Incorrect. It's wide open.
Mark for the steal.
Fly?
Incorrect.
(BUZZER) Time's up!
Bug.
Yeah, bug. Lou Bug.
Next set of questions is for Callum on oysters.
(APPLAUSE)
As soft-bodied invertebrates, oysters share the same zoological
As soft-bodied invertebrates, category as snails and squid,
where they are collectively known category as snails and squid,
where they are collectively known by what name?
Mark for the steal. Molluscs.
Mark for the steal. Correct!
Double points for you.
Good job. (MARK SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
Most molluscs have a protective shell,
so they're hard on the outside and gooey on the inside.
so they're hard on the outside Just like me.
Despite being popularly known as aphrodisiacs,
modern triploid oysters are bred to have an extra chromosome...
Callum. To make them sterile.
Incorrect. I'll finish the question.
..making them incapable of doing what?
Ruby for the steal. Reproducing?
Ruby for the steal. Correct! Double points to you!
Yeah, so we couldn't accept 'being sterile'
'cause they'd be incapable of being sterile, which means fertile.
'cause they'd be incapable of being Yes.
Coined in 2003, the term 'merroir'
primarily describes the effect of the environment
on what aspect of an oyster?
Callum. It's taste.
Correct!
Yeah, the word is derived from 'terroir',
which describes the land's effect on wine.
Oysters filter over 100 litres of saltwater every day,
so every oyster tastes a bit like the water they grew in.
Invented in the 1890s to carry shucked oyster meat,
these pails are now most commonly linked with which...?
Mark for the steal. Chinese takeaway.
Correct! Double points to you!
..of which takeaway food?
'Chinese food' is correct.
Oysters were a cheap food 'Chinese food' is correct.
Oysters were a cheap food for the working class
Oysters were a cheap food until they became overfished.
The oysters, that is, not the working class.
There's still plenty to eat.
Right, Mark?
Absolutely.
(LAUGHTER)
Last question in your set, Callum.
Shinju Matsuri, Last question in your set, Callum.
Shinju Matsuri, or the Festival of the Pearl,
is held every year in which Australian town?
is held every year Callum.
(BUZZER) Too slow.
(BUZZER) It's wide open.
(BUZZER) Time's up!
(BUZZER) Broome.
Yeah, it's in Broome.
'Shinju Matsuri' means, 'pearl festival' in Japanese.
'Shinju Matsuri' means, Very creative.
Alright, time now for Mark and Lost In Space.
Alright, time now for Mark and (WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE)
Following the adventures of the crew aboard the spaceship Jupiter 2,
Lost In Space was originally inspired
by what novel about a marooned family?
Mark. Swiss Family Robinson.
Mark. Correct!
(APPLAUSE)
In the episode, Wild Adventure,
Dr Zachary Smith refers to the robot In the episode, Wild Adventure,
Dr Zachary Smith refers to the robot as a bubble-headed WHAT?
Mark. Booby.
Mark. Correct!
Have a listen to this.
(LOST IN SPACE THEME PLAYS)
The theme song for Lost In Space
was written by which Star Wars composer?
Mark. John Williams.
Correct!
(APPLAUSE)
Yeah, John Williams also wrote the scores
for Harry Potter, Jaws, Indiana Jones, and Hard Quiz.
for Harry Potter, Jaws, (LAUGHTER)
Wow. Wow.
The Great Vegetable Rebellion episode sees Tybo,
The Great Vegetable Rebellion a talking carrot man,
transform Dr Smith a talking carrot man,
transform Dr Smith into what member of the...?
transform Dr Smith Mark.
Celery!
Correct.
(WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE)
Now I know why you enjoy this show.
(LAUGHTER)
Last question in your set, Mark.
Lost In Space star Bill Mumy
was inspired to pursue acting Lost In Space star Bill Mumy
was inspired to pursue acting after watching his future TV dad,
Guy Williams, portraying which swashbuckling hero?
Mark. Zorro.
Correct!
Yeah, Mumy said that as a kid he broke his leg pretending to be Zorro,
which kept him inside watching Zorro.
Have you ever broken anything pretending to be Dr Smith?
I couldn't say it on national television.
Five from five!
(APPLAUSE)
Last set in the expert round, it's Ruby and the Concorde.
Last set in the expert round, (WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE)
Alright, you ready to go, Ruby? Yep.
This is very exciting being on a quiz show, isn't it?
This is the third quiz show I've been on.
This is the third quiz show It is super exciting, but...
Oh, the third one?
What other ones have you been on?
The Chase and Mastermind. Oh, the Chase and Mastermind.
OK, so you went on the Chase, which is all quiz, no entertainment.
Yep.
And Mastermind, which is all quiz and no viewers.
Yep. (LAUGHTER)
You can't have it all. (APPLAUSE)
During development, the name 'Concorde' was chosen
because it means 'agreement' in English,
and which other language?
For the steal, it's Mark! French.
For the steal, it's Mark! Correct. Double points to you!
The British and French governments teamed up to make the Concord,
The British and French governments but British PM Harold MacMillan
actually tried to have it spelled but British PM Harold MacMillan
actually tried to have it spelled in English
because Charles de Gaulle had once pissed him off.
Mm-hm.
But they ended up just spelling it Mm-hm.
But they ended up just spelling it the French way, is that right?
But they ended up just spelling it Yep, that's correct.
So, they couldn't even agree on the word for agreement?
Yep, exactly. Yep.
Crossing the Atlantic at more than twice the speed of sound,
British Airways advertised Concorde flights with the slogan,
'Arrive before you WHAT'?
For the steal, it's Callum.
Leave.
Correct!
(APPLAUSE)
Ruby, is it ironic that the other contestants are being a bit too fast?
Ruby, is it ironic that the other (LAUGHTER)
Yeah, I'm getting that. Yeah. (LAUGHTER)
Yeah, I'm getting that. Yeah. Yeah.
Basically, it flew faster than the earth was spinning.
Basically, it flew faster So, on westbound flights,
your local arrival could be earlier So, on westbound flights,
your local arrival could be earlier than your departure time.
Due to its resemblance to Concorde,
the jet Soviet rival, Due to its resemblance to Concorde,
the jet Soviet rival, the Tupolev TU-144,
was given what nickname by western media?
Ruby. The Concordski.
Correct!
(APPLAUSE)
The Russian plane was the first supersonic airliner to fly
and also the first to crash at an air show in 1973.
An English spy later claimed that MI6 was behind the disaster.
Ooh!
After an Air France crash in July 2000,
all Concordes were grounded with the first assessment flight
all Concordes were grounded before passenger services resumed
being made on what infamous 2001 date?
Ruby. September 11.
Ruby. Correct!
Last question in your set, Ruby. Mm-hm.
When British Airways announced it was retiring its fleet in 2003,
it received a buyout offer of £1 per plane from which billionaire?
Ruby. Richard Branson.
Ruby. Correct!
(APPLAUSE)
They turned him down and he upped the offer to a million pounds each,
but the fleet ended up being retired anyway.
It's almost as if it was some kind of Virgin publicity stunt.
Alright, we've cruised through their subjects.
Alright, we've cruised through Now let's cruise through mine.
ANNOUNCER: Tom's Round.
Tom's subject. Multiple choice.
This week I've been really getting into taps.
I love taps!
I often jump into people's
front yards just to drink from one.
This round is multiple choice.
Select your answers on your screens, then press the buzzer
Select your answers on your screens, to lock in the answer.
Credited with patenting to lock in the answer.
Credited with patenting the first screw-down tap in 1845,
Credited with patenting British foundry Guest & Chrimes
marketed its invention as what product?
The answer is D, 'cock'.
Yeah, the rubber stopper was the breakthrough
that made it leak-proof.
Cocks are a plumbing thing.
Go to Bunnings, Cocks are a plumbing thing.
Go to Bunnings, there are heaps of cocks.
(LAUGHTER)
The 1945 film Anchors Aweigh
features a scene in which actor The 1945 film Anchors Aweigh
features a scene in which actor Gene Kelly
tap dances with which animated Mouse?
The answer is B, Jerry.
Yeah, after the dance, Gene fed Jerry to Tom.
And now, a moment's silence.
(TAPS BUGLE CALL PLAYS)
The US military bugle call known as 'Taps' was first used
during the American Civil War to signify what announcement?
The answer is D, Lights out.
Which video game includes a move known as a 'sack tap'
in which a player purposely hits themselves in the crotch?
The answer is A, Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 1 & 2.
The answer is A, Tony Hawk's Oh.
Last question in my round is worth double points.
Contactless tap-and-pay technology
uses NFC-enabled cards and devices.
What does 'NFC' stand for?
The answer is C, near field communication.
Ooh!
Alright, at the end of my round, Lucy, you're at the bottom on 10.
Get over here. (APPLAUSE)
I'm sure Princess Kate is watching.
What would you say to her as she reclines in the castle
What would you say to her and watches this episode?
Well, I think she'd just be and watches this episode?
Well, I think she'd just be surprised to see someone
with exactly the same hairline as her husband, Tom.
(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)
I'm a monarch! Out!
(WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE)
There she goes.
It's the People's Round!
ANNOUNCER: The People's Round.
Against the clock.
Unpick your hems, play along at home.
Your time starts now. Unpick your hems, play along at home.
Your time starts now.
Which Aussie plays the title role in the 2023 film, Barbie?
Which Aussie plays the title role Mark.
Margot Robbie. Mark.
Margot Robbie. Yes.
In American football, a touchdown is worth how many points?
(BUZZER) Time's up. Six.
Scandinavian Sami people are traditional herders
Scandinavian Sami people of which Christmassy animal?
Callum? Reindeer.
Yes! The lower section of Melbourne's Arts Centre Spire
was designed to resemble what ballet item?
Callum. Tutu.
Yes!
Roughly translated as 'dammit' is what Spanish phrase
Roughly translated as 'dammit' often said by Bart Simpson?
Mark. often said by Bart Simpson?
Mark. D'oh!
Mark. No.
'Ay Caramba.'
Which popular poultry seasoning 'Ay Caramba.'
Which popular poultry seasoning was invented in South Australia?
Ruby. Chicken salt.
Ruby. Yes!
According to... Time's up!
(APPLAUSE)
Alright, at the end of the People's Round, Ruby,
you're at the bottom on 20.
Get over here.
Thank you.
As you go back through the wreckage,
how would you explain what happened?
I think I just crashed and burned, Tom.
I'm worried that you're moving at the speed of...you.
I'm worried that you're (LAUGHS)
I am. I am.
Alright. Out! I am. I am.
Alright. Out! (WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE)
There she goes.
Only two left. Who's going to be the Hard Quiz champion?
Callum and Mark, get over here because it's time to play Hard Quiz.
ANNOUNCER: Final Round.
Head To Head.
Oysters versus Lost In Space.
Hard Quiz!
Now, there can only be one Hard Quiz champion who gets to take home
the limited-edition big brass mug.
What will you do with the mug if you win, Callum?
I'll probably just chuck it in the bin with all the other rubbish.
Oh. (LAUGHTER)
So, you're not going to put the shells in the mug,
you're just going to chuck the mug onto the bin?
you're just going to chuck the mug Yep.
Alright. What about you, Mark?
Ancient embalmers,
when they were processing their vic...mummies,
when they were processing they would remove the organs
and place them in a mug, they would remove the organs
and place them in a mug, similar to that.
I've got a few bits and pieces floating around.
(LAUGHTER)
I feel like if you're watching this at home, Mark,
you're going to get a visit from the police in the middle of the night.
It's best of five, penalty shoot-out style.
Harder questions on your expert subject.
So, it's Callum's knowledge of oysters
versus Mark's knowledge of Lost In Space.
Let's play, Hard!
(APPLAUSE) Let's play, Hard!
(APPLAUSE)
Callum.
QX disease is a parasite that affects the digestive system
of Sydney rock oysters.
What does 'QX' stand for?
Um, stands for 'Queensland Unknown'.
Correct.
(APPLAUSE)
QX disease is also something that happens in federal elections.
"Let's look at the results in Queensland. Oh, Queensland unknown."
"Let's look at the results in (LAUGHS)
What's unknown about it?
They didn't know the parasite What's unknown about it?
They didn't know the parasite that caused it.
They do now. OK.
So, it was unknown. Queensland previously unknown.
Mark. Tom.
In season two, Dr Smith is mistaken for space criminal Zeno.
And after offering a bribe to a space enforcer,
is threatened with what punishment?
OK. So Zeno was his double.
He was, um, very unlike Dr Smith
and forced him to change clothes.
Um...
And he forced him to take his place in jail.
So I think the threat was that he would kill him.
Incorrect.
The correct answer is
thrown into a pit of space vipers.
Vipers.
Yes, I feel like your double might be Stuart Littlemore.
Yes, I feel like your double (LAUGHS)
There's a reference (LAUGHS)
There's a reference just reaching right back.
Callum.
Marennes Oleron oysters Callum.
Marennes Oleron oysters are a French delicacy
Marennes Oleron oysters that have a unique colour and flavour
due to the presence of which microalgae in their habitat?
Um, I don't really know,
but they've got a blue gut in those photos,
blue-green gut so I would say blue-green algae.
Incorrect.
The correct answer is blue navicula.
Yeah, the blue algae turns the oysters a lovely shade of green.
Yeah, the blue algae turns the Mm.
Wouldn't that make you nervous Mm.
Wouldn't that make you nervous at the restaurant?
"Oh, they're supposed to be green? Yeah, sure they are."
Mark. Tom.
The show's costumes and monsters were designed by Paul Zastupnevich,
including this cyclops that was made
from the bark of what tree?
Um, Paul, they used to call him Paul Z
because they couldn't pronounce his name,
much like you couldn't pronounce his name.
(LAUGHTER)
(APPLAUSE)
And he did win an Emmy. The only one that Lost In Space won.
And he did win an Emmy. He won an Emmy for costume design.
And I don't know the answer,
but I would hazard a guess
and say...
..a paper bark tree.
Incorrect.
The correct answer is palm tree.
Ah.
That was a production crew thrifty Ah.
That was a production crew thrifty and innovative
That was a production crew thrifty or just a bunch of tight arses?
No, they were very, very thrifty. OK.
Yeah, Irwin Allen was known for reusing props, reusing monsters,
stealing props from other shows,
and then reusing them again. Yes.
So, everything was done very, very cheaply.
So, everything was done very, Yeah. We'd never do that here.
(LAUGHTER)
Callum.
Cultured pearls are made using a process called seeding,
where farmers insert a bead into an oyster
where farmers insert a bead along with a piece of what tissue?
Yeah, so they normally insert
oyster shell as the irritant,
but I don't think you can really call that a tissue.
but I don't think you can So, I'm going to say,
along with some of the mantle.
Correct.
(APPLAUSE)
Whoo.
Well done. Whoo. Thank you.
Well done. Thank you.
Yeah, the oysters build the pearl Well done. around the bead, Thank you.
Yeah, the oysters build the pearl around the bead,
making them more uniform and round in shape.
That's why my head's round.
It's cultured around a pea...
..that was inserted into my mother.
(LAUGHTER)
Hi, Mum, if you're watching.
(LAUGHS)
Mark.
In the episode, Mark.
In the episode, The Lost Civilisation,
crew vehicle, the Chariot, gets stuck in a valley of volcanoes,
only escaping thanks to what suggestion by Will Robinson?
How many times did they get stuck in the Chariot?
They got stuck at sea, they got stuck in... How many times did they get stuck in the Chariot?
They got stuck at sea, they got stuck in...
..volcanic ash, they got stuck everywhere.
Lucky it had good tracks.
I think Will, who was always Lucky it had good tracks.
I think Will, who was always
very good at making suggestions,
directed them to a cave.
Incorrect.
Bugger!
Correct answer is bypass the ignition system. Bugger!
Correct answer is bypass the ignition system.
Correct answer is Oh.
Alright, Callum, if you get this right,
you are tonight's High Quiz champion. Alright, Callum, if you get this right,
you are tonight's High Quiz champion.
In the lead up to the Tokyo Olympics,
over a million dollars' worth of repairs had to be completed
over a million dollars' worth at the sea forest waterway
due to an infestation at the sea forest waterway
due to an infestation of which species of oyster?
Um, I think it would be
the Pacific oyster, um,
Magallana gigas.
Yes, correct.
Pacific Oyster is correct. (APPLAUSE)
Which means you are tonight's Hard Quiz champion!
Alright, Mark, you know what this means. Out!
Alright, Mark, (WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE)
There he goes.
Congratulations, Callum, you are tonight's Hard Quiz champion!
Which means you get the big brass mug and you get to do the sign off.
Thanks for playing Hard! Which means you get the big brass mug and you get to do the sign off.
Thanks for playing Hard!
(WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE)
Yes!
Let's go and shuck our brains out.