ANNOUNCER: Tonight on Hard Quiz:
Helen. Psychiatrist.
Expert subject -
When Harry Met Sally.
Wayne. Media consultant.
Expert subject - curling.
Patrick. Union official.
Expert subject -
The Real Housewives of Melbourne.
Melinda. Exploration geologist.
Expert subject - Sir Douglas Mawson.
Here's your host, Tom Gleeson.
Yes!
Hello!
I'm size 13.
Welcome to Hard Quiz.
These contestants are emission targets.
Last one to be missed will be tonight's Hard Quiz champion!
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
To be part of the show at home, go to the ABC TV and iview socials.
Let's say hello.
G'day, Melinda. Hello, Tom.
G'day, Melinda. Why are you into Sir Douglas Mawson?
Because he's probably the coolest badass geologist I know.
Now, you reckon Mawson's a bit alright?
Yeah.
In your application, you're telling us
that you think he's a bit hot?
Yeah, he's...like I said,
he's the best looking geologist I've ever seen.
I can't really tell with his balaclava on. Is he...
What do you like about his features?
What do you like about He's six foot five.
He's rugged.
And he knows how to treat a girl well.
And he knows how to treat a girl How do you know that?
Oh, I've read some of the diaries.
Now, you tried to hire me for an event.
Yes. But it didn't work out.
Yes. What event was it?
Minds and Wines.
Oh.
It's an educational conference where we gather around
all the geologists. Yep.
And there just so happens to be a winery in the vicinity.
And there just so happens to be So, why didn't I do it?
Uh, because your hiring fee So, why didn't I do it?
Uh, because your hiring fee was a bit too much.
Uh, because your hiring fee What was I charging?
At least $10,000.
(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS)
I think it's gone up since then, to be honest.
Patrick!
Hi, Tom.
Now, Real Housewives of Melbourne Hi, Tom.
Now, Real Housewives of Melbourne is your expert subject.
What do you get out of...? (CHEERING)
What do you get out of...? What do you get out of watching it?
Well, look, I'm a fan of any trashy What do you get out of watching it?
Well, look, I'm a fan of any trashy reality program,
Well, look, I'm a fan of any trashy including Hard Quiz.
What? This is not trash.
This is intellectual humour.
Yeah, it depends how you look at it, Tom.
Housewife slash barrister Gina Liano inspired you to study law.
(AUDIENCE WHOOPS) Is that true?
Well, not the only inspiration. OK.
Gina is obviously, you know, fabulous.
You weren't inspired by the Real Housewives
to become the one that's a practising psychic medium?
to become the one that's No, sadly not.
Now, you've got a drag act.
I do. I'm semi-retired.
Semi-retired.
Which Housewife are you dressed up as?
That's just me going to, you know, the shops.
Fair enough.
Wayne. G'day, Tom.
Wayne. Curling is your expert subject.
Is that because all the other sports Curling is your expert subject.
Is that because all the other sports on Earth were taken?
Pretty well. It's... I think everyone's got that one sport
or that one thing they go to barbecues
and bore the shit out of everyone with.
And you've probably got three or four
of those sort of subjects, but that's mine.
But why do you like it?
It's a bit of everything.
It's comparable to lawn bowls,
so the excitement level's right up there, I suppose.
Now, you covered the curling at the Winter Olympics in 2010.
Yep. And then you did it again in 2014.
Yep.
You look like you're lying down on the job. What's going on?
A little tradition at the end of it,
there's two things we do.
One, try to do an ice angel, which never works.
It's like a snow angel, but that stuff's a lot harder.
And the other thing, we have a crack at curling.
And I realise just how shit I am at it.
You've taken part in the World Military Games?
Yeah, I covered that one as well.
Yes.
As you can see there, "military glory, world peace" was the slogan.
(LAUGHTER)
(APPLAUSE)
Helen! Hello.
When Harry Met Sally is the much loved romcom.
When did you first watch it?
The year it came out, in 1989.
You saw it at the cinema?
Yeah, I did.
And then did you buy the VHS? Yeah.
And then the DVD. And then the DVD.
And now do you watch it on a streaming service?
And now do you watch it No. It's not the same.
There's no director's cut.
Did Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal make a There's no director's cut.
Did Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal make a good couple or, looking back at it,
do you think the 14 year age gap is a bit weird?
Yeah, look, you didn't seem to notice.
They were very, very well cast.
That was a problem. Yes.
It was a little bit icky. Yeah.
But look, you have to look over it,
because it's really stood the test of time.
because it's really stood Yes.
It was filmed before social media, Yes.
It was filmed before social media, before dating apps,
and the problems that men and women still have
and the problems that men seem to be exactly the same.
And also it was filmed before we had standards as well.
Now, you're into real tennis. Yes.
Which is recreating tennis the way Henry VIII played it.
Yes, exactly. It's actually the origins of modern tennis.
It's played in lots of different places around the world.
And I recently went over to the UK and played at Hampton Court Palace.
Ooh. So, I actually bounced my balls
off the same walls as King Henry VIII.
off the same walls (APPLAUSE)
So, you're a psychiatrist? I am a psychiatrist.
How would you diagnose someone that plays the old pretentious version
of a sport instead of the modern, more sociable version?
Oh, I could say so many things about people at the tennis club!
Oh, I could say so many things about Let's play - HARD!
Win or lose five points.
I'll ask each of you five questions on your expert subject.
I'll ask each of you five questions Right, you get five points.
Wrong, I will take five points from you.
The rest of you can steal at any time to get double points.
Let's start with Helen and her expert subject,
When Harry Met Sally.
So, how many times would have you watched it end to end?
Roughly.
This month? 40? 50?
40 or 50 this month? That's more than twice a day.
How do you slot that in? Do you...do you watch it before you go to work,
How do you slot that in? Do you...do then analyse other people's issues,
then come home and watch the movie then analyse other people's issues,
then come home and watch the movie again?
then come home and watch the movie Don't even ask me.
Do you realise that you would have some patients who are watching this
going, "I thought I was (BLEEP) up"?
(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)
After he witnessed screenwriter Nora Ephron order lunch,
director Rob Reiner had her make the character of Sally
often request ingredients served on the what? Helen.
Side. Correct!
On the film set for just one day of shooting,
the director's actor mother, Estelle Reiner,
utters which classic line in reaction to Sally's...
Wayne for the steal.
"I'll have what she's having."
Correct!
In reaction to Sally's outburst.
"I'll have what she's having" is correct.
And then you just had what Helen was having.
Why was the scene a big deal at the time, Helen?
It builds on the premise that women fake orgasms
It builds on the premise that women and apparently men fake listening.
I was just doing it then.
In a scene set at Giants Stadium,
Harry tells his friend he's getting a divorce
while having to repeatedly perform what action?
Helen. The Mexican wave.
Helen. Correct!
While browsing novelty electronics for a gift,
Harry and Sally sing The Surrey With The Fringe On Top
from which Rodgers and Hammerstein musical?
Helen. Oklahoma!
Correct!
Last question in your set, Helen.
Rob Reiner claims that meeting his future wife during the shoot
encouraged him to make what major change to...
encouraged him to make Helen.
He changed the ending,
so it ended up that they fell in love and got married.
so it ended up that they fell They weren't meant to do that.
Correct!
Alright. Time now for Wayne and curling.
In the team sport of curling, players aim for a target
In the team sport of curling, called the house,
the centre of which shares a name called the house,
the centre of which shares a name with what small golfing object?
Wayne. Button.
Wayne. Incorrect. It's wide open.
For the steal it's Helen!
Puck?
Incorrect. It's wide open.
For the steal it's Patrick!
Tee?
Correct!
Double points to you!
While curling featured in the first Winter Olympics in 1924,
it wasn't reintroduced as a medal sport until decades later
for which city's games?
Wayne. Nagano, 1998.
Wayne. Correct!
In the 1965 comedy film 'Help',
a curling stone is fitted with a bomb in an attempt to kill
a member of which British band?
Wayne. The Beatles.
Wayne. Correct.
Pat Ryan deployed an odd strategy that took out stones from play,
leading to low scores
and the crowd at the '89 leading to low scores
and the crowd at the '89 Brier championship final
and the crowd at the '89 chanting what word?
Wayne. "Hurry hard."
Wayne. Incorrect. It's wide open.
For the steal, it's Patrick!
"Hurry"?
Incorrect.
(BUZZ!) Time's up!
"Boring."
That's... I mean, that's a sledge
at a curling match.
Last question in your set, Wayne.
In 2022, Australia's first Olympic Last question in your set, Wayne.
In 2022, Australia's first Olympic curling team defeated the Canadians,
including the defending champion John Morris,
who held what role with the Aussie team? Wayne.
Coach.
Correct!
He had to stop coaching them
because they were competing against each other.
This is how small the world of curling is.
Next set of questions is for Patrick on the Real Housewives of Melbourne.
Each housewife has an intro tagline,
with property developer Janet's being:
Patrick.
Diamonds.
Correct.
Now, Melinda, you're a geologist.
Is that how it... (LAUGHTER)
Does that sound right? Does that offend you?
A little bit, yes.
After a long IVF process, Jackie Gillies had twins
with husband Ben, a member of which ARIA...
with husband Ben, Melinda for the steal!
Silverchair.
Correct! Double points to you!
Which ARIA Award winning band? Silverchair is correct.
When Pettifleur takes her son Nathan to buy his first suit
When Pettifleur takes her son at Harold's,
she asks the shop assistant to hand over what item of his own outfit
she asks the shop assistant to hand for them to try? Patrick.
His tie.
Correct!
During a reunion episode spat, Gina Liano refers to castmate Andrea
as an insignificant hair on what part of the body?
as an insignificant hair Patrick.
Insignificant arse hair.
Correct!
Insignificant arse hair.
Not cool.
Last question in your set, Patrick.
Bringing her own custom stemware to a lunch hosted by another housewife,
newer cast member Kyla
calls herself the dame of what beverage? Patrick.
calls herself the dame Champagne.
Correct!
Alright, last set of the expert round,
it's Melinda and Sir Douglas Mawson.
Despite being a geologist, Mawson's first trip to Antarctica
in 1908 saw him hired with the title of physicist
as part of which explorer's Nimrod Expedition?
Melinda.
Shackleton.
Correct!
That's Mawson on the left.
And on the right here, part of the first group to reach the general area
of the magnetic pole.
Mawson returned to Antarctica in 1912
as the head of his own science-focused expedition,
and with his team installed the first of what communications technology
and with his team installed the first on the continent?
Melinda.
Wireless station.
Correct! Yes.
Wireless or radio technology.
After narrowly surviving a fall Wireless or radio technology.
After narrowly surviving a fall into a crevasse in 1913,
Mawson made a rope ladder to climb out
more easily next time, anchoring it to what equipment?
Melinda.
His sledge.
Correct!
Here's the small group that set off
on an East Antarctic mapping mission.
Only Mawson would survive it.
Mawson is on the old $100 note
with cross-sections of geological strata representing his studies
of what South Australian mountain range? Melinda.
of what South Australian Flinders Ranges.
Correct!
Geological strata.
That's like the layers of rock you see in a road cutting.
Last question in your set, Melinda.
In 2017, Mawson's ill-fated expedition was honoured
when 26 Antarctic reefs, rocks and islands
were named after what animals?
Melinda.
Penguins?
Incorrect. It's wide open.
For the steal, it's Helen!
The dogs.
Correct! Double points to you!
Here's some footage of Mawson's crew of huskies. They're adorable looking.
Here's some footage of Mawson's crew Some might call them team members.
Others - rations.
I'll have what he's having.
(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)
Alright, we've skipped (LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)
Alright, we've skipped through their subjects.
Alright, we've skipped Now let's skip through mine.
This week I've been really getting into worms.
This week I've been really I love worms.
They're good for the environment,
and they make it extra satisfying
to drag your bum on the ground.
This round is multiple choice.
Select your answers on your screens This round is multiple choice.
Select your answers on your screens and press the buzzer
Select your answers on your screens to lock in the answer.
Which of these is NOT a type of worm
mentioned in the ABC Kids version of the song
'Nobody Likes Me (Think I'll Go Eat Worms)'?
(READS OPTIONS) 'Nobody Likes Me (Think I'll Go Eat Worms)'?
(READS OPTIONS)
The answer is..
C - Itchy witchy, The answer is..
C - Itchy witchy, ouchie wouchie ones.
Glow-worms found in Australia and New Zealand catch their prey
by producing sticky threads of which material?
by producing sticky threads (READS OPTIONS)
The answer is...
..D - silk.
They use sticky silk threads studded with drops of mucus.
Which supermodel is inside this worm?
Which supermodel (LAUGHTER)
(READS OPTIONS)
I mean, what is going on?
The answer is...
..B - Heidi Klum.
There's Heidi, wriggling around at her Halloween party.
Remember the election worm?
They are in large part, in large part,
funded by...by the...the normal operation of inflation
funded by...by the...the on the tax system,
which picks up the largest part of it.
The fact that inflation is now low
means there's a real tax cut in there.
During the 2007 federal election, Prime Minister John Howard said,
"I'm not scared of the worm..." followed by what?
"I'm not scared of the worm..." (READS OPTIONS)
The answer is...
..C - "I love worms!"
No, I'm not scared of the worm. I love worms.
But... They're very, very valuable for your garden
But... They're very, and for everything else.
Last question in my set is worth double points.
Last question in my set Which of these worms is actually
a misleadingly named fungal Which of these worms is actually
a misleadingly named fungal infection?
a misleadingly named fungal (READS OPTIONS)
The answer is...
..B - ringworm.
Yeah, the rest of those worms are worms!
Alright, at the end of my round, Wayne, you're at the bottom on zero.
Get over here.
So, Wayne, talk us through your downfall.
I came here to sweep everyone off their feet and sweep clean,
I came here to sweep everyone but couldn't do it, Tom.
Just hit the ice.
Iced it up.
OK, I think it's time for you to slide out the doors.
OK, I think it's time Out!
Alright! Sit up! It's the People's Round.
Moisturise your elbows, play along at home.
Your time starts now. play along at home.
Your time starts now.
A centaur is half-human and half... Patrick.
Horse. Yes!
Which TV alien uses the greeting 'nanu nanu'? Helen.
Mork. Yes!
In netball, which player position can go everywhere on the court
In netball, which player position apart from the goal circle? Melinda.
Centre. Yes!
The Bering Strait separates Russia and which country?
The Bering Strait separates Patrick?
The United States.
Yes!
The hit travel memoir by Elizabeth Gilbert
is 'Eat, Pray...' what? Helen.
Love. Yes.
A haiku poem traditionally consists of how many lines? Patrick.
Seven. No. Three.
'Fly Away' and 'Cloudy Day' are songs by Tones and who?
Melinda. I.
Yes! From Latin, 'cerebrum' refers to a part of which...
Patrick. Head.
No. Part of which human organ? 'Brain' is the answer.
Triple sec liqueurs like Cointreau are distilled from the peels
Triple sec liqueurs like Cointreau of what fruit?
Patrick.
Orange. Patrick.
Orange. Yes!
Orange. Time's up!
Alright, at the end of the People's Round,
Alright, at the end Patrick, you're at the bottom on 25.
Get over here.
What do you think Gina Liano would say about this?
I think she'd say that you asked the wrong questions.
I think she'd say that you asked (LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)
Alright. Out!
There he goes.
Only two left. Who's going to be the Hard Quiz champion?
Helen and Melinda, get over here because it's time to play Hard Quiz.
ANNOUNCER: Sir Douglas Mawson
versus When Harry Met Sally.
Now, there can only be one Hard Quiz champion who gets to take home
Now, there can only be one Hard Quiz the limited edition big brass mug.
What will you do with the mug if you win, Helen?
Well, there's a massive trophy cabinet at the tennis club
Well, there's a massive trophy that I am never going to bother.
So, I'm going to take it to the club and I'm going to slide it in
and I'm going to see how long it takes for someone to notice it.
Ooh. What about you, Melinda?
Well, the mug's not really of any economic or mineable value,
Well, the mug's not really of any so...
..might just put my dud rocks in there.
Your dud rocks? What's a dud rock?
The ones that don't have the shiny minerals in them.
OK. It's best of five, penalty shoot-out style.
Harder questions on your expert subjects.
So, it's Helen's knowledge of When Harry Met Sally
versus Melinda's knowledge of Sir Douglas Mawson.
versus Melinda's knowledge Let's play - HARD!
Helen.
Princess Diana, who sat next to Billy Crystal at the London premiere,
apologised to him for not doing more of what during the screening?
Oh, she really wanted to laugh out loud,
particularly the orgasm scene, but because she was Princess Diana,
particularly the orgasm scene, she just couldn't do it.
So, she actually asked the crew she just couldn't do it.
So, she actually asked the crew and cast
if she could have a private viewing back at the palace for her friends.
Correct.
Yeah, you're right. She requested a copy so she could watch it again
at Buckingham Palace,
a place where she was famously able to let her hair down and relax.
Melinda.
Collected from an Australian site he later named 'Radium Hill',
a specimen was identified by Mawson and given what name
in honour of his geology professor?
Well, his mentor was Edgeworth David.
Well, his mentor was So I'm gonna go 'Davidite'.
Correct.
Helen.
In a doomed relationship with a married man,
Carrie Fisher's character, Marie, repeatedly concludes
he's never going to leave his wife. Carrie Fisher's character, Marie, repeatedly concludes
he's never going to leave his wife.
The second time is after she discovers
The second time he has made what purchase?
Oh, she was just happening he has made what purchase?
Oh, she was just happening to look through his briefcase
and she found his American Express card
and he just bought a new night dress for her.
Correct.
Melinda.
On their way back to base after their dire mapping expedition,
Mawson and teammate Mertz became ill,
some doctors later attributing Mertz's death
to an over concentration of what essential nutrient?
There was a 1969 Australian Medical Journal article
that attributed the hair loss, the skin loss, the dysentery
and the mental fits to possibly too much vitamin A
that they received from eating dog meat and specifically dog liver.
So, I think it's an excess of vitamin A.
Correct.
Helen. In a scene improvised by the cast,
the characters all gather to play the party edition of which board game?
the characters all gather to play the It's really great.
They play Pictionary.
Incorrect. Ooh.
Incorrect. The correct answer is
Win, Lose, or Draw?
Oh. Yes, there it is on the table.
A lot of people call it the Pictionary scene,
but they're wrong. A lot of people call it the Pictionary scene,
but they're wrong.
It's not actually Pictionary.
(ALL SIGH)
Melinda.
Mawson's team travelled with their rations and personal effects
packed into brightly coloured linen bags
that they gave what unique nickname?
Now, their sledges were absolutely jam-packed with these bags
and it was filled with rations of things like pemmican,
which is like milk solids.
I think they just...called them
maybe swag bags?
Incorrect.
The correct answer is
Paquita bags.
Mm. Yep. Named after Mawson's wife.
Does that ring a bell now that I say it?
Yeah. What's it named after?
Well, it wasn't Mawson's wife, it was his fiancee at the time.
Yes. They were sewn by Mawson's fiancee, Paquita.
Yeah. He carried a photo of her
as one of his only personal items.
And then he ate that photo too. as one of his only personal items.
And then he ate that photo too.
(LAUGHTER)
Helen.
This scene, Helen.
This scene, with overlapping dialogue,
was shot simultaneously in the same studio
in over 60 takes. was shot simultaneously in the same studio
in over 60 takes.
The team claims one perfect take
was ruined by what unexpected intrusion?
was ruined by Ohh...
I'm pretty sure it was Carrie Fisher
and I think she might have stuffed up her lines.
Incorrect.
The correct answer is...
..a bird.
OK. OK.
Yeah, a bird got trapped in the soundstage and they had to...
It was flapping around and they had to redo the take.
OK.
Melinda.
Many places have been named after Mawson,
including Mount Mawson in Tasmania,
the Mawson Trail in South Australia, and Dorsa Mawson,
the Mawson Trail in South a ridge system located where?
Oh, I did read this. Dorsa Mawson.
Is it in...
..the...could be in the pack ice.
I think maybe somewhere around the Pacific Ocean?
Incorrect.
The correct answer is...
..on the moon.
Oh!
Yeah, there it is.
It's around 140 kilometres long.
Helen. Appearing near the end of the closing credits, It's around 140 kilometres long.
Helen. Appearing near the end of the closing credits,
Sol Horn is thanked for his inspiration. Helen. Appearing near the end of the closing credits,
Sol Horn is thanked for his inspiration.
What element of the film did he inspire?
The whole idea of having the documentaries with the...
..with the, it ended up being actors,
but people telling their love stories.
Um, I'm guessing... I'm pretty sure that was Rob Reiner's friend
that he went to talk to talk about the...
..the things that Nora Ephron then created into scripts for actors.
So I'm gonna say he's the inspiration
for the documentaries that they include in the movie.
Correct!
He was the production executive's father,
and the story of how he met his wife is told by an old couple
and the story of how he met in the opening scene of the film.
Melinda, you need this.
If you get this wrong, then Helen, you are tonight's Hard Quiz champion.
If you get this wrong, then Helen, Melinda.
To keep their spirits up while awaiting retrieval
from the main expedition base,
and with an eye to future from the main expedition base,
and with an eye to future publicity,
Mawson and his team published
a newspaper they gave what title?
Yeah, this one was actually proposed by the...
Yeah, this one was actually ..the doctor on site there,
'cause everyone was in ..the doctor on site there,
'cause everyone was in quite low spirits
'cause it was very dark and gloomy there.
And because there were a lot of cute Adelie penguins
it was called the Adelie Blizzard.
Correct.
Alright, let's move to the tie breaks!
Helen. Yes.
Two of the American Film Institute's greatest movie quotes of all time
Two of the American Film Institute's appear in this film.
One is "I'll have what she's having",
and the other occurs in what scene?
Um, it's the scene when, um, Harry and Sally become friends
and they used to talk to each other,
before they went to bed at night and they were watching Casablanca
before they went to bed at night in their own respective bedrooms.
And it was on the TV in both their houses
and they were watching the end of Casablanca
and it was the start of a beautiful friendship.
and it was the start of Correct!
So, one classic line's from When Harry Met Sally
and the other classic line is from Casablanca
as featured in the film.
It's on you now, Melinda. If you get this wrong,
then Helen, you are tonight's Hard Quiz champion.
Melinda.
While returning home from England in 1919,
Mawson wrote to Australian Prime Minister Billy Hughes,
calling for the British Empire to adopt what?
Oh, now this one. It was an interesting one.
Oh, now this one. Billy Hughes...
..was a big supporter of the Australian Antarctic expedition.
He wanted to make Australia known for Antarctic exploration
so I think it was to encourage more scientific work.
So, I think it was to adopt a scientific research institution
because Mawson was quite instrumental in creating the CSIRO.
Incorrect. Oh.
Incorrect. The correct answer is
the metric system. Oh!
Which means, Helen, you are tonight's Hard Quiz champion!
Alright, Melinda, you know what this means.
Out!
There she goes.
Congratulations, Helen! You are tonight's Hard Quiz champion!
Which means you get the big brass mug.
And you get to do the sign-off!
Thanks for playing - HARD!
Yes!
Put that on your tennis club medal.
I'm putting it in the tennis club!