ANNOUNCER: Tonight on Hard Quiz -
Dave, musician.
Expert subject: Alice Cooper.
Michelle, children's author.
Expert subject: Anne of Green Gables.
Paula, business owner.
Expert subject: Chickens.
Kurt, fashion designer.
Expert subject: Alexander McQueen.
Here's your host, Tom Gleeson.
Yes! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Hello!
I'm Michael Tunn.
Welcome to Hard Quiz.
These contestants are broadcast standards.
Last one to be breached will be tonight's Hard Quiz champion.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
To be part of the show at home, go to the ABC TV and iview socials.
Let's say hello.
G'day, Kurt.
Tom, how are you? I'm alright.
Uh, now, your expert subject
is British fashion designer Alexander McQueen.
Yes.
Is he one of these catwalk fashion show types,
or does he make clothes you can actually wear?
Um, a bit of column A, bit of column B.
He did do catwalks when he was alive.
Why do you like him?
Um, he was the reason that I wanted to become a fashion designer.
I'm a fashion designer by trade, so...
Oh, right. You're a fashion designer, and you dress like that?
Absolutely. (LAUGHTER)
You're a TV host, and you dress like that?
Well... AUDIENCE: Oh! (LAUGHTER)
(APPLAUSE)
Now, here's some of your designs.
What are we looking at there?
We are looking at a pair of jeans, a silk satin bomber,
silk satin pants,
and a viscose backless turtleneck.
And what will they look like when they're finished?
(LAUGHTER)
Um, considering they're published in Vogue, they are finished.
Looks like an ad for a... AUDIENCE: Ooh.
Looks like an ad for a chiropractor with a before and after photo.
(LAUGHTER)
What's that about? Is that fashion?
Indeed. You should try it sometime.
"I'm fashionable!" (LAUGHTER)
Now, you travelled to Everest Base camp?
Yep. What are we looking at there?
Um, a day where I was feeling a bit butch.
Oh, just the one day?
Yep.
But you didn't go to the top? No.
So what's your motto in life? "That'll do"?
(LAUGHTER) Pretty much, yeah. Yeah.
Paula. Hi, Tom.
Now, your subject is chickens. It is.
How did you get into chickens?
(LAUGHTER)
I was working in animal rescue and did a big, uh, chicken rescue
of about 1,500 chickens,
and then just fell in love with them, got to know them.
And went from there. Right.
What's the difference between chicken rescue and theft?
(LAUGHTER)
Permission? Permission's good.
Permission? Yeah.
Oh, so the people who own the battery farm are like,
"Just come in and take our livelihood"?
Yeah, they were closing down.
Oh. Yeah, he grows tomatoes now.
OK. Yeah.
Was that a rescue if they were closing down anyway?
That's... That sounds like a clearance sale.
That doesn't sound... (LAUGHTER)
They were free. OK.
Now you struggle to tell people apart, apparently,
but you can tell chooks apart.
Yeah, I do.
I forgot that I told you that.
So are you...are you racist?
(LAUGHTER)
No, I struggle to recognise people.
Um, but I used to look after over 100 chickens
and I knew every single one.
Like, I can tell them...
And sheep as well. I can tell sheep apart.
Wow. So you really hate people?
No, I'm a counsellor. I really like people.
You're a counsellor? Yeah.
So every time a patient comes in, you're like, "Who are you?"
You'd have to walk in with a chook and you're like, "Oh, you're..."
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
Yeah.
Now you taught one of your chickens how to count.
I did.
Lily, seven.
(MUSICAL NOTES PLAY)
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Not bad.
Can it count anything? Like, could it count chicken nuggets?
Maybe. You're a nut.
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
But I like it. I like it.
Michelle, Anne of Green Gables is your expert subject.
Yes. What's it about?
Sounds like hippie shit to me.
It's old-school hippie shit, actually.
Oh. I'm just saying, at uni, I smoked a few Green Gables,
if you know what I mean.
How would you describe the story to those who haven't heard of it?
It's about a little orphan who finds a new home at Green Gables.
Now, you're a successful children's book author.
Yes.
How are you a children's author
without being a middle-aged male comedian?
It's tricky, but there is a way.
There's a gap in the market for people who actually are creative?
It's a very small gap. And, um, yeah, I'm here to fill it.
Because it's overrun, isn't it?
By washed-up has-been comedians about my age,
who don't have a TV show at the moment
writing a children's book.
There's a lot of them, aren't there?
Hughesy, etc.
Now, this is you in New York, next to the Fearless Girl statue.
Did you put any money down to see if it would move?
(LAUGHS) No, but it is a good size likeness.
I felt tall standing next to her, so that was great.
How tall is it?
It's probably about four foot.
If people don't know at home,
how big a milk crate did they give you, Michelle, tonight?
Um, I need a scissor lift to get down.
A scissor lift. (LAUGHS) Yeah. Yeah.
Dave. Hi.
Alice Cooper pretty much peaked in the '70s.
Did you as well?
(LAUGHTER) Yes.
Why are you a fan of Alice Cooper?
Oh, I just like the, uh, his theatrical rock.
And it's a little bit more interesting
than your regular sort of pop.
What? He sings about...
He sings about some... You know, I don't know,
he just makes up good stories with his music.
Now, you front an Alice Cooper tribute act.
Yes.
It's been described as by far the best tribute act
produced in Adelaide.
(LAUGHTER)
Are you also the only tribute act produced in Adelaide?
No, there's actually quite a few. Really?
I think it's great that you got that band going.
It's just great to see someone monetising their midlife crisis.
Alright, let's play...hard!
Win or lose five points.
Steal an answer - double points.
I'll ask each of you five questions on your expert subject.
Right, you get five points.
Wrong, I will take five points from you.
The rest of you can steal at any time to get double points.
Let's start with Dave and his expert subject, Alice Cooper.
(APPLAUSE)
The band Alice Cooper began as a Beatles parody act
called The Earwigs before naming themselves
for which eight-legged creature?
Dave.
Spiders. Correct.
So, is Alice Cooper a person or a band?
Like what...? Explain that.
Yeah, it started out as a band and then, uh...
Called Alice Cooper. Yeah.
And then in '74 or '75, I think, he took the name legally.
And briefly he was Alice Cooper in the band Alice Cooper.
Yes.
OK.
Appealing to the teen market,
School's Out was Alice Cooper's first mainstream hit
and closes with the sound of what percussive instrument?
Dave.
A school bell.
Correct.
Have a listen to this.
(ELECTRIC GUITAR RIFF PLAYS)
This riff, written by guitarist John McCurry,
is from which '80s Alice Cooper hit?
Dave. Poison.
Correct.
Yeah, Alice took the lyric, uh, "your mouth so hot," literally,
and released a hot sauce called Poison.
Due to his appearance in Wayne's World,
Alice Cooper says fans often approach him quoting what three-word phrase?
Dave. "We're not worthy."
Correct.
Last question in your set, Dave.
In his later years, Alice Cooper has become a teetotaling Christian
and developed an obsession with which sport?
Dave.
Golf. Correct.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
There he is in his golfing getup.
Uh... (LAUGHTER)
I think I prefer cocaine, to be honest.
Five from five!
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
Time now for Michelle and Anne of Green Gables.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
An unusual event in the life of L.M. Montgomery's distant cousin,
inspired the premise of Anne of Green Gables,
which is a gender mix-up in what process?
Michelle. Adopting an orphan.
Correct.
Yeah, her cousin tried to adopt two boys but got a boy and a girl.
Montgomery said, "Unlike the fictional Anne,
"the real orphan girl was incredibly dull."
The title character, Anne Shirley,
calls red hair her "lifelong sorrow"
and cuts it all off after accidentally dying it what colour?
Michelle. Green.
Correct.
Yeah, Anne says, "It's impossible for anyone with red hair to be happy."
(LAUGHTER)
That's why I got rid of mine!
After declining a prestigious scholarship at the end of the novel,
the next book finds Anne working in what job?
Michelle. Teacher.
Correct.
The popularity of the series in Japan
inspired a recreation of Prince Edward Island
in a theme park named Anne of WHAT world?
Michelle.
Canada Town.
Incorrect. It's wide open.
(BUZZ!) Time's up.
Canadian.
Yeah, it's not the cool kind of theme park with rides.
It's basically a village that you can walk around.
Yeah, there are no queues!
Last question in your set, Michelle.
Anne is forbidden from playing with her best friend Diana Barry
after accidentally serving Diana...
Michelle.
Currant wine.
Correct.
(APPLAUSE)
..after serving Diana what alcoholic beverage?
Currant wine is correct.
Anne thinks it's raspberry cordial and serves up three glasses.
Next set of questions is for Paula on chickens
In 2018, researchers found
that when roosters fully open their beaks,
their external auditory canals close,
protecting their hearing from what loud sound?
For the steal, it's Michelle!
Crow.
Correct. Oh!
Double points for you.
Yeah, roosters have to protect themselves from their own call
'cause it's so loud.
Roosters' calls can be as loud as a jet engine taking off,
and researchers wondered why they didn't go deaf.
Turns out they've got built-in noise-cancelling headphones.
Recalling his childhood observations of chicken hierarchy,
a Norwegian zoologist and psychologist
coined the term WHAT order?
Paula. Ooh! Pecking.
Correct.
Descended from South-East Asia's junglefowl,
domestic chickens are now bred on every continent except which?
Paula. Antarctica.
Correct.
Yeah, in Antarctica, they're not bred, they're consumed.
Partly ornamental and connected to mating behaviour,
the colourful comb on a chicken's head is full of blood vessels,
which help regulate what?
For the steal, it's Kurt!
Body temperature?
Correct.
Double points to you.
Paula, why do they need the comb to regulate their body temperature?
Um, because it helps cool all their blood down,
so that they don't overheat on hot days.
And they don't sweat, do they, chickens?
No. Unless they're in the oven.
Last question in your set, Paula.
A nickname for a supermarket roast chicken,
one of Macquarie Dictionary's words of the year in 2022
was the term bachelor's WHAT?
For the steal, it's Michelle.
Handbag.
Correct. Double points to you.
Yeah, it's called a bachelor's handbag
because it's the easiest meal for a bachelor to make,
and it comes with a built-in handle.
Last set in the expert round, it's Kurt and Alexander McQueen.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
Alexander McQueen shot to fame
following a controversial catwalk show
where he referenced his Scottish heritage...
Kurt. Highland Rape.
Incorrect. I'll finish the question.
..his Scottish heritage through what ancient fabric design?
Paula for the steal.
Um, tartan.
Correct. Double points for you.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
What was so controversial about this show, Kurt?
Can you describe it for this time slot?
It was a show that got him labelled as a misogynist...
Yes.
..because of the way that he depicted his female models.
Beautifully done, Kurt. Thank you.
Look it up later and you'll see that Kurt did a very good job
of describing...quite a show.
(LAUGHTER)
Designed to elongate the appearance of the torso
while exposing up to two inches of the wearer's buttocks...
Kurt.
The bumster.
That's correct.
..was what iconic McQueen garment?
The bumster is correct.
Do you have a pair of bumsters, Kurt?
I'm wearing them now. Really?
An incident at the 2004 Super Bowl,
where a rubber bustier designed by McQueen was damaged on stage,
led to the coining of what headline-making phrase?
Paul for the steal.
No, I don't know.
(LAUGHTER) Incorrect.
Kurt.
Boobs out.
Incorrect.
It's wide open.
(BUZZ!) Time's up.
Wardrobe malfunction.
Oh!
Featured in the last show McQueen ever presented
were these abstract heels
sharing a name with what armoured animal?
Kurt. Armadillo.
Correct.
(APPLAUSE)
They were 30cm high
and designed to give the wearer a completely new futuristic silhouette.
He didn't actually make anything,
he just put his shoe up an armadillo's arse.
(LAUGHTER)
Last question in your set, Kurt.
In the wake of the designer's death in 2010,
retailers reported one item selling out within hours,
a scarf bearing what signature symbol?
Kurt. A skull.
Correct.
(APPLAUSE)
We've conquered their subjects, now let's conquer mine.
This week, I've been really getting into balls.
Fast ones, bouncy ones, hairy ones, itchy ones.
I love them all.
This round is multiple choice.
Select your answers on your screens,
then press the buzzer to lock in the answer.
On a tour of South Africa in 2018,
which Australian cricketer used sandpaper to tamper with a ball?
(READS OPTIONS)
The answer is
D - Cameron Bancroft.
A few of them were in on the plan,
but the job went to Bancroft
because he was the team's ball manager.
(LAUGHTER)
In the 1998 film BASEketball,
two friends combine elements of baseball and basketball
to create a new sports league
and go on to play for which fictional Milwaukee team?
(READS OPTIONS)
The answer is
C - Beers.
(APPLAUSE)
Invented by a Dutch schoolteacher
and played by mixed teams of eight players,
what is this sport?
(READS OPTIONS)
The answer is
B - korfball.
(APPLAUSE)
Yeah, here's a korfball match getting out of hand in the old days.
Looks like it was time for a bloody korf-off!
Webster Clay Ball
developed which transport innovation
at the turn of the 20th century?
A - Bascule bridges, for letting tall ships through.
B - a timing system for preventing train wrecks.
C -the motorcycle sidecar.
D - the escalator.
The answer is
B - a timing system for preventing train wrecks.
Yes, it's nice to have someone other than Mussolini to thank
for the trains running on time.
Yeah, he was a watchmaker
who got the local railways to coordinate their times,
which might be where we got the phrase "on the ball".
Last question in my round's worth double points.
Which of these is a scientific term for having three testicles?
(LAUGHTER)
(READS OPTIONS)
The answer is
D - triorchidism.
(APPLAUSE)
Yeah, orchids get their name from the Greek word for testicle
because their roots look like this.
They're literally balls deep into the ground.
At the end of my round, Dave, you're at the bottom on 10.
Get over here.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
What happened?
I guess I just dropped the ball at the end.
Out!
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
There he goes.
Alright, it's the People's Round!
Stack your sources, play along at home.
Your time starts now.
In the classic kids' books,
what big red animal is Clifford?
Kurt. Dog.
Yes.
The Japanese spirit saki is made by fermenting what grain?
Kurt. Plums.
No. Rice.
The canals of Venice are known for boats called WHAT?
Kurt. Gondolas.
Yes.
The poet Edgar Allan Poe was born in which country?
(BUZZ!) Time's up.
America.
The Microsoft virtual assistant Cortana is based on a character
from which video game series?
Kurt. Mortal Kombat.
No. Halo.
A deerstalker hat is worn by which Arthur Conan Doyle detective?
(BUZZ!) Time's up. Sherlock Holmes.
In what part of the body would you find the biceps brachii?
Paula.
Your arm. Yes.
The film A League of Their Own follows women playing what sport?
Paula. Baseball.
Yes.
Sharing a name... Time's up!
..with a Humphrey Bogart film is which Moroccan city?
The answer is Casablanca.
Alright, at the end of the People's Round,
Michelle and Kurt, you're both on 25,
which means it's time for a bloody Hard Off!
That's right, only one of you will survive.
I'll ask one question, first to buzz in will answer.
If you're right, you're staying. If you're wrong, you're dead to me.
You ready? Here we go.
Which cheese is harder -
pecorino or gouda?
Michelle. Gouda.
Incorrect. It's pecorino.
Which means you're dead to me. Get over here.
You're right, Michelle, you are short.
Mm. (LAUGHTER)
I didn't realise how short, actually.
How do you think you went?
Oh, I think there were just some beautiful kindred spirits
who were smarter than me on the day.
Oh. AUDIENCE: Aw.
You're such...you're such a children's author.
You're so sweet. I know.
Why don't you tell them to get (BLEEP!)
(LAUGHS) Out!
(APPLAUSE)
There she goes.
Only two left. Who's going to be the Hard Quiz champion?
Paula and Kurt, get over here because it's time to play Hard Quiz.
Alexander McQueen versus chickens.
Now, there can only be one Hard Quiz champion
who gets to take home the limited edition big brass mug.
What will you do with the mug if you win, Kurt?
Um...
(LAUGHTER)
I didn't think I'd get this far, so I don't know.
I didn't think you'd get this far either, Kurt.
(LAUGHS)
You're not at Base Camp now, buddy!
May...maybe I'll trek back and I'll leave it there.
What about you, Paula?
Um, I might teach one of my chickens to, like, shoot goals into it,
like, put a ball into it.
You know what the weird thing is?
I think, in this show, you're the only person
who would actually do what you said.
Alright, it's best of five penalty shootout style.
Harder questions on your expert subject.
So it's Kurt's knowledge of Alexander McQueen
versus Paula's knowledge of chickens.
Let's play...hard!
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
Alright, here we go.
Kurt, when he began attracting press coverage
for his first show at London Fashion Week,
McQueen would obscure his face
in photographs and interviews
for what reason?
Um, at the time, he was using his dole money
to fund his collections,
so he didn't want to get that cut off, so he never showed his face.
Correct.
Paula, ISA Browns are popular egg-laying chickens in Australia,
whose breed name derives from the brand I-S-A.
What does I-S-A stand for?
Oh! It's, um...
It's actually... It's a, yeah, it's a brand
rather than a breed itself.
Mm...
I'm making lots of noises, but none of them start with A.
Probably need one of your chooks to spell it out for you.
She would probably know the answer.
She's a ISA Brown. Ping, ping, ping, ping!
Ping, ping! Um...
Ping, ping, ping, ping. (LAUGHS)
Um, international sans uh...uh...uh...
..uh some A something.
(LAUGHTER)
Is that your final answer? Yeah.
Close.
The correct answer is Institut de Selection Animale.
Yep.
It wasn't close.
(LAUGHTER)
Your chook's at home, disappointed.
Ping, ping, ping, ping, ping! Ping!
They're not going to talk to me tonight.
Kurt.
Often bypassing the usual process of sketching a template,
McQueen's speed and prowess while cutting fabric
led to what film-based nickname?
Well, he was good at draping.
Known for making fabric and clothes
directly onto a mannequin or a model.
I would say...
..the Draper?
Incorrect.
The correct answer is
Edward Scissorhands. Mm!
Yeah, people were horrified
that he would just start cutting expensive fabric,
but he said, "It's only clothes."
Paula.
Helping prevent bacterial contamination
by filling in pores on the egg's surface,
the invisible layer of protein added to the shell
just before it leaves the uterus
is given what name?
Uh, the bloom.
Correct.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
Kurt.
McQueen's 13th collection
was the first show to bring the designer to tears.
He said for this piece,
it took a week to programme the spray-painting robots,
which were on loan from which company?
I think they were... It's an automotive.
That was a show in London.
So of my limited automotive knowledge in London, I would say...
..Mini Cooper?
Incorrect.
The correct answer is Fiat.
Oh!
Yeah, he was probably brought to tears by the paint fumes.
Paula.
Australian industry guidelines introduced in June 2022
will phase out battery eggs by 2036...
Oh.
(LAUGHTER)
..and also require that hens sharing cages
must each have at least how many square centimetres of usable space?
Oh! I knew 2036, but I'm not sure what the space is.
At the moment, they only have an A4 sheet of paper per hen.
Which is... How big is that?
Like...
Meanwhile at home,
ping, ping, ping, ping, ping!
(LAUGHTER)
Um...
What's that, 21.5 by 29?
Is that how big an A4 sheet of paper is?
That's not the question.
So... (LAUGHTER)
So I'm just thinking maybe it's double.
Maybe it's four...42 by 58,
if that maths is right.
Incorrect.
The correct answer is 750 square cm.
Oh, OK.
Yeah, which is not 42 multiplied by 58.
No, it's not.
It's also the size of a studio apartment in Sydney.
(LAUGHTER)
Kurt.
McQueen's 2006 show Widows of Culloden
featured a projected illusion of Kate Moss,
accompanied by music from which film?
Widows of Culloden was about
a English Highlands, I believe.
Lots of tartan.
Had lots of accessories around birds and eggs.
So I would say Alfred Hitchcock, The Birds.
Incorrect.
The correct answer is Schindler's List.
Really cheerful. Yeah.
He sounds like a real cheery dude.
Paula.
Used as early community disease detectors,
sentinel chickens have been stationed around Australia since the '70s,
tested frequently for viruses transmitted in what manner?
I think some...some viruses or some illnesses
are transferred by mosquitoes
or then some chicken illnesses are transmitted by wild birds.
So I'm just not sure which one.
And it might be neither of them.
Um...which is really helpful.
Um, I'll say mosquitoes.
Correct. Oh, wow.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
Yeah, the chickens get bitten to hell every night,
and their blood is tested regularly
to detect viruses before they spread to humans.
The Victorian chickens were retired in 2021
thanks to advancements in direct mosquito testing.
So they were like the canary in the mine.
Yeah. But for blood diseases.
Yeah.
And all the ones that were retired
were delicious.
(LAUGHTER)
Alright, Kurt, you need this.
If you get this wrong,
then, Paula, you are tonight's Hard Quiz champion.
Kurt.
Partly to deter people from obtaining entry to shows
with photocopied tickets,
and partly as an artistic statement,
many fashion show invitations take the form of unusual objects.
The invitation to McQueen's 2004 show Deliverance came in what form?
Deliverance the show was a series of dances and sporting events.
So I would say a...
I want to say like a medal or a ribbon.
Let's go a ribbon.
Incorrect.
The correct answer is pillbox. Oh.
Which means, Paula, you are tonight's Hard Quiz champion!
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
Alright, Kurt. Out!
There he goes.
Congratulations, Paula.
You are tonight's Hard Quiz champion!
You get your big brass mug.
And you get to do the sign off.
Thanks for playing...hard!
Yes!
Chooks!
Ping, ping, ping, ping, ping!
Captions by Red Bee Media
Copyright Australian Broadcasting Corporation