Tonight on Hard Quiz,
Darcy, university student. Expert subject, Highgate Cemetery.
Sarah, author. Expert subject, psychedelics.
Emily, journalist. Expert subject, Die Hard.
Shane, assistant campus manager Expert subject, Kelly Clarkson.
Here's your host, Tom Gleeson.
Yes. Hello.
Red leather. Yellow leather. Welcome to Hard Quiz.
These contestants are standards.
Last one to be compromised will be tonight's Hard Quiz champion.
To be part of the show at home, go to the ABC iview socials.
Let's say hello. G'day, Shane.
Hey, Tom. How are you?
Now, Kelly Clarkson is your expert subject.
Yes. How would you describe her music?
Early years, very addictive,
and then towards the later years, forgettable.
OK, now... (LAUGHTER)
You're a trivia host? Yes.
So you run a quiz yourself? Yes, I do.
At the, uh, Surf Life Saving Club in Southport every Wednesday night.
When you're on. Really?
Yes. (LAUGHTER)
Your quiz goes up against mine? Yes.
On Wednesday nights at Southport at a pub?
Yes.
I must be honest, we don't notice a dent in the ratings.
(LAUGHTER)
Unfortunately, you're second-rated behind Tipping Point, so...
Oh, really? AUDIENCE: Ooh!
Yeah, I know, but Tipping Point,
it's just watching shit fall off a conveyor belt.
(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)
That's all it is.
Emily. Hi, Tom.
Now, you're into the Bruce Willis action franchise Die Hard.
Why do you like it?
Well, as the audience can attest,
it's the perfect blend of action, humour, suspense
and Alan Rickman with a German accent.
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
(GERMAN ACCENT) We love ze German accent.
(LAUGHTER)
Ve all clap as vone.
(NORMAL VOICE) Now, there are five Die Hard films. Do you like them all?
No, I do not. The fourth and fifth are terrible.
The fifth, especially, should be placed in the bin.
The fourth is OK,
but the first three are such rippers that it makes up for it.
Right. So it's like the Hemsworths. (LAUGHTER)
G'day, Luke, if you're watching. Sorry.
Now, you got a tattoo in New Orleans. I did.
I don't have to show you, do I?
(LAUGHTER)
I didn't really ask, but... (LAUGHTER)
It's just a bit, like, of an anchor with a...
Anyway. (LAUGHS)
Did you think you're a sailor? That was the humorous part,
was that the next leg of my trip was...
Went to Columbia and then got a boat from Columbia to Panama,
and the Colombian sailors assumed that I was a sailor,
and I spent most of the trip being sick in the bathroom
and very much not being, um, uh, a sailor, whatsoever.
OK. (LAUGHS) But you're a journalist, aren't you?
I am. You write for the Financial Review.
Um, mostly edit. Oh, you mostly edit.
And you've got a big tatt. Sort of doesn't really fit.
Is that a Venn diagram that can't come together?
I don't know, it doesn't work for me. OK, well.
"It's like, "Oh, we got a look at Jim Chalmers' budget.
"Quick, can you edit it Emily?" You're like, "Arrr, yes."
(LAUGHTER)
(PIRATE VOICE) I be editing the prose.
I don't know. (LAUGHTER)
Sarah. Hi, Tom.
Now, your special interest is psychedelics.
Indeed.
And it's also your subject on the show.
(LAUGHTER)
Can you give me a quick summary
of all psychedelics you've taken in your life?
Mainly eight of them. Um... (LAUGHTER)
Mainly eight. Could be 17.
(LAUGHTER)
So, I did a psilocybin retreat, an ayahuasca retreat,
a 5 MeO-DMT retreat,
LSD, MDMA, mescaline, ketamine, and DMT.
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
I know this is the ABC, but just quietly,
you're not supposed to clap that. (LAUGHTER)
It's like, drugs... (WHOOPS AND APPLAUDS)
(LAUGHTER)
Now, you've actually written a book about psychedelics.
Was it hard to complete with all the distractions?
(LAUGHS) No, I felt energised
by my experiences with the medicines to write.
I felt like I was just a conduit, really, and...
Yeah.
Yeah, they were just working through me.
OK, and then when you looked back at the pile of scribble,
did you regret what you'd done? (LAUGHTER)
I'm assuming you didn't get all those psychedelics legally.
So, are you a criminal? Uh, no comment.
(LAUGHTER)
I did a lot of travelling
to countries where it's decriminalised.
Which... Are you sure? Yes.
OK. Portugal, Costa Rica...
Oh, OK. So most of these retreats are overseas?
Yeah.
I thought you just got lost in Nimbin.
(LAUGHTER) Nah.
And then came out of the second-hand bookshop
and said, "Oh, I wrote this one."
(LAUGHTER)
Darcy. Hi, Tom.
Highgate Cemetery is your subject.
What is it about the cemetery that you love?
Is it the dead people,
the idea of death or the looming spectre of death?
Well, usually the dead people stay underground
so I don't have to worry about them so much.
It's actually just the beauty of the place.
It's very, um, romantic, I think.
So, it's just a beautiful environment?
Yes. It's as much a nature reserve as it is a cemetery.
Um, so it's... You could take a picnic there if you wanted to.
(LAUGHTER)
You could take a date there, maybe. You could.
It'd be a great first date. Yeah.
You go, "Let's try to enjoy ourselves and not remember
"that we're going to end up down there someday."
Not for a long time, hopefully.
Well, this audience is going to be there pretty soon.
(LAUGHTER)
Now, you have a secret skill that involves chickens.
This was something that I never expected
to be broadcast to the whole of Australia,
but I do like making chicken noises.
I find that... I find it a great way to de-stress.
Well, we're about to do a quiz that can get very stressful.
I'm not going to take that invitation, Tom.
AUDIENCE: Oh!
Well, if you tense up later, it's on you, Darcy.
Well, I might break into a quick cluck at some point.
(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE))
Stay tuned.
Now, you mentioned in your audition
that you're a good box-ticking exercise
for the ABC's diversity quotas. Yes.
(LAUGHTER) Uh, what are you giving us?
Well, uh, you've got the autism. Tick.
Um, I'm transgender. Tick.
I'm a wheelchair user. Tick. Beauty.
So, yes, I'll be on any show you want.
(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)
Alright, let's play Hard!
Win or lose five points.
Steal an answer, double points.
I'll ask each of you five questions on your expert subject.
Right, you get five points.
Wrong, I will take five points from you.
The rest of you can steal at any time to get double points.
Let's start with Darcy
and his expert subject, Highgate Cemetery.
Are you ready to go, Darcy? I'm ready, Tom?
Are you feeling a bit stressed and a bit, you know,
like you just want to de-stress and relax before you start?
Not yet. Are you sure.
You'll have to ask me some questions first.
(LAUGHTER)
I'm just saying, like,
if you wanted to relax before we just rip into it,
there's a very simple thing you could do
which the audience would enjoy, I'd enjoy,
everyone at home would enjoy and you'd relax.
(MAKES CHICKEN NOISE)
(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)
I'm feeling good now, Tom. Yeah, I feel heaps better, too.
Highgate Cemetery is one of seven 19th century burial grounds
built in London to relieve overcrowded graveyards,
nicknamed the WHAT Seven?
Darcy.
Magnificent. Correct.
Among the notable people interred at Highgate
are Karl Marx, George Eliot
and this English singer better known by what name?
Darcy.
George Michael. Correct.
In March 1970, a TV special featuring two paranormal investigators
led to a group of people raiding Highgate Cemetery
hunting for what supernatural creature?
Darcy.
They were hunting for a vampire.
Correct.
Do you know why? What was going on?
Well, there was an ITV interview
and they had two paranormal investigators saying that
there definitely was a vampire at Highgate Cemetery.
And so, of course, a mob descended
trying to find it and exorcise it.
(LAUGHTER)
Highgate Cemetery is also a nature reserve filled with wildlife,
including the holly blue, a species of what winged insect?
Darcy.
A wasp. Incorrect. It's wide open.
For the steal, it's Emily.
Butterfly. Correct. Double points to you.
(APPLAUSE)
Last question in your set, Darcy.
This is the grave of former Russian spy Alexander Litvinenko,
located at Highgate Cemetery.
His coffin is lined with what metal?
Darcy.
Lead. Correct.
Yeah, he was killed with polonium,
so his body had to be contained in lead because polonium is radioactive.
Very radioactive.
Next set of questions is for Sarah on psychedelics.
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
Psychedelics like LSD and mescaline can impact perception and mood
by interacting with neuroreceptors for five H-TP,
a feel-good chemical commonly known by what name?
Sarah.
Serotonin. Correct.
Studied as a possible treatment for depression,
psilocybin is found in more than 200 species of what organism?
For the steal, it's Emily.
Mushroom. Correct. Double points to you.
So how long do you think it will be, Sarah,
before doctors start prescribing 50mg of 'shrooms?
Well, it became legal in Australia for treatment-resistant depression
back in '23, mid-'23.
Oh.
Quite a few people have availed themselves of it already.
So, is it OK if I get depressed just before a music festival?
(LAUGHTER)
Found in the venom of the Sonoran Desert toad
and said to induce a spiritual experience,
5-MeO-DMT is known as the WHAT molecule?
Sarah.
The God molecule. God molecule is correct.
You've experimented a lot.
Have you ever licked a toad? No.
Have you boiled a toad and drunk the juice?
I tried kissing one to get a Prince Charming,
but that didn't work either.
(LAUGHTER)
Beginning in the 1950s as part of Project MKUltra,
the CIA conducted secret mind-control experiments,
primarily using which psychedelic?
Sarah.
LSD. Correct.
Last question in your set, Sarah,
A personal account of his mescaline use,
this Aldous Huxley book inspired the name of which band fronted by...
Sarah.
The Doors. By Jim Morrison. Correct.
..fronted by Jim Morrison. The Doors is correct.
Time now for Emily and Die Hard.
You've already taken a few risks that have paid off, Emily.
Yeah. Feeling confident?
No. OK.
(LAUGHTER)
According to director John McTiernan,
following negative response to Die Hard's trailer,
which actor was removed from the movie's poster?
Emily.
Bruce Willis. Correct.
Do you know why they removed him from the poster?
So, he'd previously just been known as a comedy actor,
and people weren't impressed, so they got rid of him.
But then the film started to do well,
so they chucked him back on the posters.
In the first film, off-duty cop John McClane
kills one of the terrorists who've overtaken an office building
and adorns him with the message, "Now I have a machine gun..."
Emily.
"HO-HO-HO." Correct.
Yeah, so it's set at Christmas Eve.
So, is it a Christmas movie or not? It is not.
It's not. Oh. How controversial! Really?
Well, it came out in summer.
It just happens to be set at Christmas time.
But you can still watch it in December, and I do.
And that's really fun.
Set in an airport overtaken by terrorists,
Die Hard 2 is known for the tagline Die WHAT?
For the steal, it's Shane.
Harder. Correct.
Double points to you.
In Die Hard 2, McClane escapes an aircraft filled with grenades
by pulling a lever that activates WHAT?
Emily.
Um, the ejector seat. Correct.
That's how I wanted to get rid of contestants on this show.
(LAUGHTER)
Last question in your set, Emily.
In Die Hard With A Vengeance,
McClane is forced to solve deadly riddles as a distraction
while crooks break into the Federal Reserve...
Emily.
To steal gold bullion. Correct.
..to steal what precious metal? Gold is correct.
Last set in the expert round, it's Shane and Kelly Clarkson.
During her winning season on American Idol,
Clarkson sang Respect and A Natural Woman,
both made famous by which...
Shane.
Aretha Franklin. Correct.
..which Queen of Soul? Aretha Franklin is correct?
Named in 2021
as one of Rolling Stone's 500 Greatest Songs of All Time
is Since You Been Gone,
in which Clarkson sings she can do WHAT For the first time?
For the steal, it's Emily.
Breathe. Correct.
Double points to you.
Yeah, from the album Breakaway,
one of the best-selling albums of the 21st century.
In 2025, Clarkson covered the song Your Love on her talk show,
going viral for singing the line,
"You know I like my girls a little bit older" while doing what action?
Time's up. Winking.
Oh.
Yeah, she sang,
"You know, I like my girls a little bit older" while winking.
Yeah, it drove all the lesbians wild.
(LAUGHTER)
Released in 2007
as a duet with her then-stepmother-in-law Reba McEntire
was a country version of Kelly's hit Because of WHO?
Shane.
You. Correct.
Yeah, my mother-in-law and I like to duet on WAP.
(LAUGHTER)
Last question in your set, Shane.
In 2025, it was announced that Clarkson would be returning
for her 10th season as a judge on what reality singing show?
The Voice. Correct.
We've looked through their subjects. Now let's look through mine.
This week I've been really getting into robots.
Robots are so efficient.
At the ABC we already have one hosting ABC Breakfast
called James Glenday.
(LAUGHTER)
Hi, James. This round is multiple choice.
Select your answers on your screen,
then press the buzzer to lock in the answer.
Are any of you fans of ABC Breakfast?
Do you watch James Glenday in the morning?
Yes. You do?
I'm a big fan of James, and I think he's a real boy.
(LAUGHTER)
You think he's a real boy and not a robot?
Yep. OK, good to know.
James Glenday, if you're watching, you are a real boy.
That should be part of their promo now, shouldn't it?
Wake up with ABC News Breakfast with a real boy.
(LAUGHTER)
This robot maid from the Jetsons has what name?
The answer is A, Rosie.
Check this out.
The answer is B, be granted citizenship.
Saudi Arabia made her a citizen
on the condition that she never drink alcohol.
(LAUGHTER)
Or chop up journalists.
AUDIENCE: Ooh!
Is my satire bit too cutting for you?
(LAUGHTER)
Do you not believe in freedom of the press?
Bloody communists. (LAUGHTER)
The scientists who created Xenobots
tiny living robots made from stem cells,
say the bots can spontaneously reproduce
if they're designed in what shape?
The answer is C, Pac-Man.
Yeah, there they are. That's a petri-dish Pac-Man party.
Sarah, you probably want to take one of them.
Advertised as an automaton chess player,
The Mechanical Turk once defeated which historical figure?
The answer is B, Napoleon Bonaparte.
Yeah, it was not actually a robot, there was someone crammed inside
doing Muppet stuff to the chessboard.
That's also how we operate James Glenday.
(LAUGHTER)
To try to make him a real boy.
Last question in my round's worth double points.
Which of these robotic toys was not released in the '90s?
The answer is E, Robosapien.
Robosapien was released in 2004
and he could dance, throw things, grunt, and snore.
So he was like every Australian dad.
Alright, at the end of my round,
Sarah, you're at the bottom on five.
Get over here.
It's easy for me to say you didn't do well because you're off your head
but you were very lucid.
So, what happened? Maybe you should have taken drugs.
Too many trip hazards, Tom. (LAUGHTER)
Sorry. We do our best at the ABC.
Alright. You ready to go? I guess.
OK. Out.
There she goes.
Alright. It's the People's Round.
Fold your socks, play along at home. Your time starts now.
The Rice Bubbles mascots are Snap, Crackle and WHOM?
Shane. Pop.
Yes.
How many 'A's are there in the name Tasmania.
Emily.
Three. Yes.
Traditional mayonnaise is not vegan due to what ingredient?
Darcy.
Egg. Yes.
Which Australian soccer player was the first woman to feature on a FI...
Shane.
Sam Kerr. Yes.
..on a FIFA video game cover? Sam Kerr is correct.
The world's largest religious monument
is a Cambodian temple complex called Angkor...
Darcy.
Wat. Yes.
At the end of a personal message, an 'X' stands for what physical action?
Emily.
Kiss. Yes.
Getting its name from the Malay phrase "person of the forest"
is what reddish-coloured...
Emily.
Orang-utans. Yes.
..reddish-coloured ape? Orang-utan is correct.
Time's up!
Oh, wow. Alright, at the end of the people's round,
Darcy, you're at the bottom on 25.
Get over here.
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
So what happened, Darcy? Maybe you weren't relaxed enough.
Well, I think it was more you, Tom.
You just didn't ask the right questions.
(LAUGHTER)
OK, well, I'm reluctant to beat you out
because there's all our diversity out the window.
(LAUGHTER)
Well, you'll have to get an even more diverse contestant next time.
(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE) OK.
You ready to go? I'm ready, Tom.
Out!
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
There he goes.
Alright, only two left.
Who's going to be the Hard Quiz champion?
Emily and Shane, get over here because it's time to play Hard Quiz.
Kelly Clarkson versus Die Hard. Hard Quiz.
Now, there can only be one Hard Quiz champion
who gets to take home the limited-edition big brass mug.
What will you do with the mug if you win, Emily?
Well, as a pregnant woman, I have to go to the bathroom a lot,
so I was thinking I could fill it with water so I remain hydrated.
OK. (LAUGHTER)
That could have been a lot worse.
(LAUGHTER)
What about you, Shane?
I'd like to take that mug to The Kelly Clarkson Show
and sip a Long Island iced tea with her.
Aw!
OK.
(LAUGHTER)
It's best of five penalty shootout style.
Harder questions on your expert subject.
So it's Shane's knowledge of Kelly Clarkson
versus Emily's knowledge of Die Hard.
Let's play Hard.
Alright, Shane.
The music video for 2004's Breakaway
shows Kelly Clarkson arriving in a limo
to the world premiere of what movie?
Oh.
OK. Picturing the red carpet.
She was wearing sunnies.
Oh, not sunnies, no, she was wearing glasses.
And she had full makeup, and I can picture it.
I'm thinking it's...
Oh, the Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement.
Correct. Oh!
Yeah, Kelly recorded the song for the soundtrack,
and she then used it for her next album title.
Emily, in the streaming documentary series The Movies That Made Us,
one of the special effects artists from Die Hard says
"That fear that you see on his face is real,"
in reference to which stunt?
Um, so this is the, um, famous stunt in the first Die Hard
when, um, Alan Rickman's character, Hans Gruber, the villain,
is um...falls out of the building.
And, um, they created that look of fear by saying
they were going to drop him on three,
but then they dropped him on two instead.
So he's...he looks, like, much more freaked out
than otherwise he would have.
Correct.
I've got to try that move, I reckon.
Are you ready to go? Out!
Shane, in a 2023 interview, Clarkson revealed that Taylor Swift
was in the habit of sending Kelly flowers and gifts
each time Swift released certain albums, for what reason?
Oh. OK.
So, there was a time that... I just...
I'm just trying to recall with Taylor Swift.
So, she had to re-release her albums again.
And so what happened was, um,
Kelly Clarkson gave flowers to Taylor Swift as a way to, um,
sort of congratulate her on putting in that sort of effort in
to actually re-record those albums
that were lost due to it being stolen.
Incorrect.
You're talking about the right story, but you got it back to front.
Clarkson revealed that Taylor Swift
was in the habit of sending Kelly flowers
because Kelly was the one
that suggested Taylor Swift re-record her masters.
OK. It was her idea.
So Kelly tweeted that Taylor should re-record her masters
so she could own her own songs again,
which led to Taylor's Versions.
Yeah. No flowers for you, Shane.
(LAUGHTER)
Emily, the villain in Die Hard With A Vengeance,
known for his use of riddles,
phones the police with the message
"Said Simple Simon to the pieman, going to the fair,
"give me your pies or WHAT?"
He made a lot of, um, nursery rhyme threats.
Um...
And this one is not springing to my mind.
Um...
Give me your pies or you will die.
(LAUGHTER)
Incorrect.
Well, there's five spaces there for a start.
And you edit the Financial Review?
It's easier than this.
(LAUGHTER)
OK, the answer is "I'll cave your head in."
But you're right, all the other riddles rhyme
and they're kind of cutesy, but this one, he goes,
"Give me your pies or I'll cave your head in."
That's brutal.
Which is my original catchphrase for this show.
Alright, Shane.
Clarkson performed at
the 2003 NRL Grand Final in Australia and again in 2011.
For her 2011 performance, she sang which song?
Oh, 2011...
Oh, that would have been...
I'm just trying to think of the album.
Oh.
I'm gonna take a stab and say I Do Not Hook Up.
Incorrect.
The correct answer is Mr Know It All.
That would have been the other choice.
..which, ironically, you weren't.
(LAUGHTER)
Yeah.
I must say,
when I think "Rugby League", I think Kelly Clarkson.
Don't you? "Let's go to Rugby League and have a listen to Kelly."
Yeah. Why not?
Emily.
In 2013, a Die Hard mural was unveiled
at the Fox Studios lot in California.
In the image, based on an iconic scene,
what is John McClane holding in his left hand?
OK, I believe it is the scene
where he's crawling in the air vents,
and I think he's holding a cigarette lighter.
Correct.
It was celebrating the fifth film's release
and the 25th anniversary of the original.
Shane, in the first line of the song Addicted from the album Breakaway,
Kelly sings, "It's like you're a drug."
Before the chorus,
what other two things does she say it's like you are?
(HUMS SONG)
Oh, no.
It's funny because every time... When you mention that line,
I pretty much skip to the next song.
Um, but... Oh, is it not your favourite song?
I wouldn't say it's not my favourite song.
It's just quite sad, so... Oh, I see.
Yeah, but I'm gonna say
a car crash and an accident.
I think we're learning why you're not a lyric-writer, Shane.
(LAUGHTER)
Incorrect. The correct answer is "a demon, a leech."
Oh, wow. Yeah.
Alright, Emily,
if you get this right, you are tonight's Hard Quiz champion.
When a device planted in a school detonates
in Die Hard With A Vengeance,
the bomb technician is shocked to discover
it contains what substance?
Um, so that's a very dramatic scene
because they've had to evacuate all the children
and it's about to blow.
And he's like, there's a few children left in the building,
so he's still working on it right to the last minute,
and then it explodes in his face and he's like, "Pancake syrup."
So pancake syrup.
Correct. Which means you are tonight's champion.
Alright, Shane, you know what this means. Out!
Congratulations.
There he goes.
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
Congratulations, Emily.
You are tonight's Hard Quiz champion
which means you get the big brass mug.
Thank you. And you get to do the sign off.
Thanks for playing Hard!
Yippee ki-ay, mother-BLEEP-ers.