1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:10,072 .:: Subtitles By MomoX ::. 2 00:00:35,102 --> 00:00:38,574 Oh, I love how music just gets you pumped! 3 00:00:38,599 --> 00:00:39,599 Right? 4 00:00:39,624 --> 00:00:41,300 Sorry, I just... I'm excited to be here. 5 00:00:41,300 --> 00:00:42,300 It's been a while. 6 00:00:42,300 --> 00:00:45,300 You know, for a long time, I wasn't sure I'd ever be back. 7 00:00:45,300 --> 00:00:48,300 Disney bought Fox, there's the whole boring rights issue, 8 00:00:48,300 --> 00:00:49,300 blabbity, blabbity, blah. 9 00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:52,300 But then, it turned out they wanted me. 10 00:00:52,300 --> 00:00:55,020 The one guy who shouldn't even have his own movie. 11 00:00:55,045 --> 00:00:57,129 Much less a franchise. 12 00:00:57,154 --> 00:00:59,300 Marvel's so stupid. 13 00:00:59,300 --> 00:01:01,300 Look, we know the title of this thing, 14 00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:03,300 so I know what you're wondering. 15 00:01:03,300 --> 00:01:07,300 How are we going to do this without dishonoring Logan's memory? 16 00:01:07,300 --> 00:01:09,758 And I'll tell you how. 17 00:01:10,018 --> 00:01:11,156 We're not. 18 00:01:12,819 --> 00:01:15,080 I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. 19 00:01:15,143 --> 00:01:17,143 Wolverine is not dead. 20 00:01:17,300 --> 00:01:20,300 Sure, it made for a perfect ending to a very sad story. 21 00:01:20,300 --> 00:01:23,300 But that's not how regenerative healing factors work. 22 00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:26,300 You think I want to be out here in beautiful Downtown 23 00:01:26,300 --> 00:01:29,080 North Dakota, digging up the one and only Wolverine? 24 00:01:29,128 --> 00:01:30,128 No thank you. 25 00:01:30,300 --> 00:01:32,300 But the fate of my entire world is at stake. 26 00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:34,300 He may not be living his best life, 27 00:01:34,300 --> 00:01:37,469 but he sure as hell ain't... dead. 28 00:01:42,651 --> 00:01:43,729 Bingo. 29 00:01:44,503 --> 00:01:45,503 Yahtzee. 30 00:01:48,424 --> 00:01:51,025 Yes, yes, yes, yes. 31 00:01:55,300 --> 00:01:56,300 Dammit! 32 00:01:57,253 --> 00:01:58,524 Son of a 33 00:01:58,675 --> 00:01:59,837 bitch! 34 00:02:04,931 --> 00:02:05,931 Fuck! 35 00:02:06,042 --> 00:02:07,042 Mother... 36 00:02:07,113 --> 00:02:08,113 Fucker! 37 00:02:08,300 --> 00:02:09,602 My world is fu--- 38 00:02:10,885 --> 00:02:14,292 That was weird. I'm much calmer now. 39 00:02:15,393 --> 00:02:17,737 Look, I'm not a man of science, 40 00:02:17,901 --> 00:02:21,116 but you seem incredibly passed away. 41 00:02:24,455 --> 00:02:26,300 But it's good to see you. 42 00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:29,300 I got to be honest, I've always wanted to ride with you, Log. 43 00:02:29,300 --> 00:02:34,300 You and me, getting into it. Deadpool and Wolverine. Just fucking shit up. 44 00:02:34,300 --> 00:02:37,300 Can you imagine the fun, the chaos... 45 00:02:37,300 --> 00:02:39,300 The residuals? 46 00:02:39,300 --> 00:02:41,620 "G'day, mate. There's nothing that will bring me 47 00:02:41,645 --> 00:02:45,310 back to life faster than a big bag of Marvel cash." 48 00:02:46,651 --> 00:02:48,113 Me too, Hugh. 49 00:02:48,300 --> 00:02:49,300 But no. 50 00:02:49,300 --> 00:02:51,115 No, no, no. 51 00:02:51,608 --> 00:02:55,209 Ugh... You had to get all noble and die for real. 52 00:02:55,234 --> 00:02:57,300 God... dammit! 53 00:02:58,170 --> 00:03:00,605 I could really use your help right now. 54 00:03:11,666 --> 00:03:12,667 Wait! 55 00:03:13,065 --> 00:03:15,206 I'm warning you, I am not alone! 56 00:03:15,300 --> 00:03:17,111 Wade Winston Wilson. 57 00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:20,300 You are under arrest by the Time Variance Authority. 58 00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:22,135 Too many crimes to list. 59 00:03:22,206 --> 00:03:23,206 Come out. 60 00:03:23,300 --> 00:03:24,300 Ohhh. 61 00:03:24,300 --> 00:03:26,300 Death by Dave Flair. 62 00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:28,167 Last chance. 63 00:03:28,253 --> 00:03:31,300 Throw out your weapons and come out peacefully. 64 00:03:31,300 --> 00:03:35,752 I'm not gonna give you my weapons, but I promise not to use them. 65 00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:39,300 There are 206 bones in the human body. 66 00:03:39,300 --> 00:03:42,300 207 if I'm watching Gossip Girl. 67 00:03:42,300 --> 00:03:44,197 Here we go. Maximum effort. 68 00:03:50,916 --> 00:03:54,074 Okay, Peanut. I guess we're getting that team-up after all. 69 00:05:03,234 --> 00:05:06,461 From outside the box... Score! 70 00:06:33,202 --> 00:06:35,456 I'm soaking wet right now. 71 00:06:38,562 --> 00:06:40,711 To be clear, I'm not proud of any of this. 72 00:06:40,852 --> 00:06:44,680 The wanton violence, the whiff of necrophilia... it isn't who I am. 73 00:06:44,719 --> 00:06:46,300 It isn't who I want to be. 74 00:06:46,300 --> 00:06:47,597 Who I want to be? 75 00:06:47,636 --> 00:06:50,370 Well, to help you understand that, I got to take you back. 76 00:06:50,472 --> 00:06:53,300 A little joy ride I took through space and time. 77 00:06:53,300 --> 00:06:56,300 To the day that changed everything. 78 00:07:07,401 --> 00:07:09,455 I can't believe I'm finally here. 79 00:07:09,565 --> 00:07:12,565 I waited for this moment for so long. 80 00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:16,072 Thank you, sir, for seeing me. 81 00:07:16,300 --> 00:07:21,485 I firmly believe that my services can be of great use to your organization. 82 00:07:21,581 --> 00:07:25,071 Now I know, I was caught smashturbating in the lobby of Stark Tower. 83 00:07:25,117 --> 00:07:26,276 - "Smashturbating?" - But I can assure you... 84 00:07:26,300 --> 00:07:28,300 I'm sorry, what was that? 85 00:07:28,300 --> 00:07:32,300 Sorry, that's, when you get those toy Hulk hands, right? 86 00:07:32,300 --> 00:07:37,808 And then you just, you look down, you just... brace yourself and you ravage the midsection... 87 00:07:37,833 --> 00:07:39,300 I get it. Okay. Okay. 88 00:07:39,300 --> 00:07:40,300 The picture's painted. 89 00:07:40,300 --> 00:07:41,300 You get the gist. 90 00:07:41,300 --> 00:07:43,362 What exactly brings you here today? 91 00:07:43,542 --> 00:07:48,300 Why I... Wow, okay. I... I care. 92 00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:53,438 I know I turn everything into a joke, but I... I care. 93 00:07:53,485 --> 00:07:58,223 I want to use that feeling for something important. 94 00:07:58,434 --> 00:08:01,059 I want to matter. 95 00:08:03,049 --> 00:08:05,198 Need to show my girl that I matter. 96 00:08:07,674 --> 00:08:10,089 You know, I feel like I'm wasting the good stuff here. 97 00:08:10,143 --> 00:08:12,070 - Is the man not gonna be joining us? - The man? 98 00:08:12,095 --> 00:08:14,300 Yeah, I should save this if he's gonna... 99 00:08:14,300 --> 00:08:16,820 As far as you're concerned right now, I'm the man. 100 00:08:16,845 --> 00:08:18,125 - No. - The man is me. 101 00:08:18,150 --> 00:08:21,300 I am the man in this circumstance. 102 00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:23,697 And he doesn't do this kind of thing anymore. 103 00:08:23,821 --> 00:08:24,837 - Cameos? - Meetings. 104 00:08:24,862 --> 00:08:25,635 Meetings. 105 00:08:25,660 --> 00:08:26,660 Entry level meetings. 106 00:08:26,685 --> 00:08:27,533 Entry level. 107 00:08:27,558 --> 00:08:29,447 Aren't you the chauffeur? 108 00:08:29,472 --> 00:08:30,300 - I... - Maybe? 109 00:08:30,518 --> 00:08:31,728 A common misconception. 110 00:08:31,753 --> 00:08:34,300 I did begin my career as Mr. Stark's driver. 111 00:08:34,300 --> 00:08:37,300 Quickly pivoted to the head of security. 112 00:08:37,300 --> 00:08:39,300 Of course. Yes, yes, yes, yes. 113 00:08:39,300 --> 00:08:42,300 And why I am vetting your resume? 114 00:08:42,300 --> 00:08:46,300 You seem to have left out whether or not you had any experience as a member of a team. 115 00:08:46,300 --> 00:08:48,300 Could you maybe add a little bit of perspective there? 116 00:08:48,300 --> 00:08:49,300 No, yes. 117 00:08:49,300 --> 00:08:51,300 I was Special Forces. 118 00:08:51,300 --> 00:08:54,300 But I was, mainly I was team leader, founder really, of X-Force. 119 00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:55,923 Sadly, they all perished. 120 00:08:55,948 --> 00:08:56,751 In action. 121 00:08:56,776 --> 00:08:58,300 How exactly did that happen? 122 00:08:58,300 --> 00:09:01,288 Well, the police say gravity, but just between us, they 123 00:09:01,312 --> 00:09:04,300 didn't test well with a focus group. Particularly Cable. 124 00:09:04,300 --> 00:09:06,367 Whoa, whoa, whoa. I can see this isn't going well. 125 00:09:06,392 --> 00:09:07,533 Please stop writing. 126 00:09:07,558 --> 00:09:10,000 Look, I'm just gonna... I want to be an Avenger. 127 00:09:11,417 --> 00:09:13,626 I want to be an Avenger. 128 00:09:15,300 --> 00:09:17,118 Why do you want to be an Avenger? 129 00:09:17,300 --> 00:09:20,300 Look around you. I mean, they're the best of the best. 130 00:09:20,300 --> 00:09:22,300 And what they do matters. 131 00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:24,300 I need to be an Avenger. 132 00:09:24,300 --> 00:09:27,300 Sir, my girl has kind of had it with my schtick, and I... 133 00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:30,288 If I don't turn things around and do something with my 134 00:09:30,312 --> 00:09:33,300 gifts, I don't think it's gonna really work out for me. 135 00:09:33,300 --> 00:09:35,300 And I wouldn't blame her. 136 00:09:35,300 --> 00:09:39,665 Avengers are a very unique group of superheroes that stand 137 00:09:39,690 --> 00:09:43,300 for something more than just fighting and wearing costumes. 138 00:09:43,300 --> 00:09:44,879 I mean, people look up to us. 139 00:09:44,904 --> 00:09:46,449 Kids look up to us. 140 00:09:46,474 --> 00:09:50,300 Sorry, "us?" I wasn't aware you were an Avenger. 141 00:09:50,300 --> 00:09:51,784 Avengers adjacent, technically. 142 00:09:51,809 --> 00:09:53,089 What's your superpower? 143 00:09:53,114 --> 00:09:54,329 Is it parallel parking? 144 00:09:54,354 --> 00:09:55,300 I am so sorry. 145 00:09:55,300 --> 00:09:56,432 That was cruel. 146 00:09:56,487 --> 00:09:58,300 I lash out when I'm nervous. 147 00:09:58,300 --> 00:09:59,157 Won't happen again. 148 00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:00,009 Let's cut to the chase. 149 00:10:00,034 --> 00:10:00,728 Please. 150 00:10:00,753 --> 00:10:06,300 You just said moments ago that you wanted to be an Avenger because you need it. 151 00:10:06,300 --> 00:10:07,300 Yes, sir, I do. 152 00:10:07,300 --> 00:10:10,300 But the Avengers don't do the job because they need it. 153 00:10:10,300 --> 00:10:12,508 They do the job because people need them. 154 00:10:13,367 --> 00:10:14,764 Do you see the distinction? 155 00:10:16,725 --> 00:10:17,983 Yes, sir. 156 00:10:18,648 --> 00:10:24,300 Please, Mr. Hogan, I don't want to spend the rest of my life like an annoying one-trick pony. 157 00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:27,460 All right. 158 00:10:28,993 --> 00:10:30,573 Oh, my God, you're standing. 159 00:10:30,598 --> 00:10:32,686 - Yeah, now's the time that we stand. - Dammit. 160 00:10:32,711 --> 00:10:36,285 The problem might be that you're... reaching a little too high. 161 00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:38,877 Aim for the middle and you'll never miss. 162 00:10:39,362 --> 00:10:40,526 I think you got a good heart. 163 00:10:40,551 --> 00:10:42,026 I believe what you're saying. 164 00:10:42,363 --> 00:10:44,127 But not everybody is the world saving type. 165 00:10:44,152 --> 00:10:45,840 I'm not. And I'm happy. 166 00:10:45,940 --> 00:10:47,965 Right? I found my place. 167 00:10:48,447 --> 00:10:50,089 Find your place. 168 00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:52,905 All right, get back out there. 169 00:10:52,993 --> 00:10:54,508 We'll keep an eye on you. 170 00:10:54,541 --> 00:10:55,627 Good luck. 171 00:10:59,260 --> 00:11:00,432 Fetch the car. 172 00:11:00,573 --> 00:11:03,793 I wanna hit Shake Shack. Rejection makes me hungie. 173 00:11:04,487 --> 00:11:06,143 No, please. 174 00:11:06,221 --> 00:11:07,034 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 175 00:11:07,059 --> 00:11:07,871 Okay. 176 00:11:07,896 --> 00:11:08,896 Thank you. 177 00:11:40,042 --> 00:11:42,167 You know what they say. 178 00:11:42,448 --> 00:11:46,627 When one door closes, your locker at work opens. 179 00:11:55,753 --> 00:11:58,182 Let's go sell some certified pre-owned vehicles. 180 00:11:58,207 --> 00:11:59,167 Motherfu--- 181 00:12:01,510 --> 00:12:04,300 Technically, the Carnival is not a minivan. 182 00:12:05,439 --> 00:12:06,914 It's an MPV. 183 00:12:06,939 --> 00:12:09,300 So how does the Kia compare to the Honda Odyssey? 184 00:12:09,300 --> 00:12:10,088 The Odyssey. 185 00:12:10,113 --> 00:12:11,300 That's a great question. 186 00:12:11,300 --> 00:12:13,300 It doesn't fucking suck. 187 00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:15,300 You know, you can answer the question without swearing. 188 00:12:15,300 --> 00:12:16,300 I'm sorry, Tammy. 189 00:12:16,300 --> 00:12:17,300 I don't have kids. 190 00:12:17,300 --> 00:12:19,390 Not that I haven't dreamt it out. 191 00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:22,226 I don't have a lot of vaginal sex. 192 00:12:24,854 --> 00:12:26,249 You'll get 'em next time, pal. 193 00:12:26,300 --> 00:12:29,300 And look, you can always go back to superheroing. 194 00:12:29,300 --> 00:12:31,300 I mean, I know I'd like to see you back in the suit. 195 00:12:31,300 --> 00:12:34,300 I don't keep it in my locker so that I can wear it. 196 00:12:34,325 --> 00:12:37,145 I keep it in my locker in case we need to saddle up again. 197 00:12:37,175 --> 00:12:38,175 Hey, hey, hey. 198 00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:40,300 What are you doing in there? 199 00:12:40,503 --> 00:12:41,573 I'm done. 200 00:12:42,659 --> 00:12:43,698 I'm done. 201 00:12:44,300 --> 00:12:46,300 And I'm fine with being done. 202 00:12:46,781 --> 00:12:48,612 Look, is sales the best match? 203 00:12:48,637 --> 00:12:49,627 Probably not. 204 00:12:49,714 --> 00:12:51,675 Is this the life that I always imagined for myself? 205 00:12:51,737 --> 00:12:53,088 Fuck, no! 206 00:12:53,325 --> 00:12:55,125 But it's the right fit for me, 207 00:12:55,300 --> 00:12:58,300 - Sugar Bear. It is. - Okay, Mr. Wilson. 208 00:12:58,648 --> 00:13:02,182 I'm just saying, once a month, we can go on a little mission. 209 00:13:02,316 --> 00:13:04,741 We're human beings, we crave purpose. 210 00:13:05,061 --> 00:13:06,733 After all, we're Deadpool. 211 00:13:06,764 --> 00:13:07,936 Please stop saying that. 212 00:13:07,961 --> 00:13:09,249 We're not Deadpool. 213 00:13:09,300 --> 00:13:11,300 I'm not even Deadpool anymore. 214 00:13:11,300 --> 00:13:14,300 Well, if you're going to have a midlife crisis, go big. 215 00:13:14,300 --> 00:13:17,300 A few years ago, a friend of mine got his nipples pierced 216 00:13:17,300 --> 00:13:21,480 with a titanium chain that goes down and attaches to his Van Johnson. 217 00:13:26,042 --> 00:13:29,042 Are you feeling grumpelstiltskin because it's your birthday? 218 00:13:30,300 --> 00:13:31,300 What? 219 00:13:32,425 --> 00:13:33,425 No. 220 00:13:34,187 --> 00:13:35,187 No. 221 00:13:38,612 --> 00:13:40,275 Surprise! 222 00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:41,300 Hey! 223 00:13:41,300 --> 00:13:43,300 You guys are lucky I'm not armed. 224 00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:45,300 Get in here! 225 00:13:45,300 --> 00:13:47,300 If that was six years ago, you'd all be dead. 226 00:13:47,300 --> 00:13:50,300 So then, he gets out of the cab and you will not believe it. 227 00:13:50,300 --> 00:13:52,145 I turn around and what do I find? 228 00:13:52,170 --> 00:13:52,833 AirPods. 229 00:13:52,858 --> 00:13:53,621 - His AirPods! - His AirPods. 230 00:13:53,646 --> 00:13:54,292 Come on! 231 00:13:54,317 --> 00:13:55,090 Crazy story. 232 00:13:55,115 --> 00:13:55,817 Everytime. 233 00:13:55,842 --> 00:13:56,842 Come on. 234 00:13:58,942 --> 00:14:01,300 Make any sales today? 235 00:14:01,300 --> 00:14:02,300 You know I didn't. 236 00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:06,134 Did you sell any dream catchers on Etsy or whatever it is you're doing? 237 00:14:06,159 --> 00:14:07,767 Our rent's due in three days, Wade. 238 00:14:07,792 --> 00:14:09,071 I can't keep carrying you. 239 00:14:09,096 --> 00:14:09,954 Relax. 240 00:14:09,979 --> 00:14:10,885 I have the money. 241 00:14:10,910 --> 00:14:14,300 I sold some old blood pressure medication I found lying around. 242 00:14:14,300 --> 00:14:16,018 Are you trying to kill me, motherfucker? 243 00:14:16,043 --> 00:14:18,300 I'm not the one dousing everything in salt, motherfucker! 244 00:14:18,300 --> 00:14:22,300 I pray every day that fire finds your body 245 00:14:22,300 --> 00:14:25,300 and finishes the job God didn't have the nuts to do. 246 00:14:25,300 --> 00:14:26,300 That's hurtful. 247 00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:29,300 If you could hear the look on my face, you would smell how sad I am. 248 00:14:29,300 --> 00:14:30,300 You watch anything good? 249 00:14:30,300 --> 00:14:32,300 Great British Bake-off. 250 00:14:32,300 --> 00:14:33,300 Oh, goddamn. 251 00:14:33,300 --> 00:14:35,798 That show stood between me and suicide for ten years. 252 00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:37,040 Those are my feelings. 253 00:14:37,065 --> 00:14:39,688 On abortion, religious freedom, animal rights, privacy rights, 254 00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:42,995 vaccines, free market capitalism, global climate change. 255 00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:45,370 No. No speaking lines, Buck. 256 00:14:45,564 --> 00:14:46,564 Hi, Yukio. 257 00:14:46,651 --> 00:14:47,651 Hi, Wade. 258 00:14:47,830 --> 00:14:49,495 Nice fake o' clock shadow. 259 00:14:49,550 --> 00:14:53,300 It's a summer balayage from the French. 260 00:14:53,300 --> 00:14:56,557 It's meant to mimic the natural highlights of the sun. 261 00:14:56,664 --> 00:14:57,664 It's a toupee. 262 00:14:57,689 --> 00:14:58,689 It's a hair system. 263 00:14:58,714 --> 00:15:00,643 I love your hair system, Wade. 264 00:15:00,925 --> 00:15:01,994 Thank you. 265 00:15:02,245 --> 00:15:03,440 Want to do some cocaine? 266 00:15:03,465 --> 00:15:04,120 Hey! 267 00:15:04,145 --> 00:15:07,300 Cocaine is the one thing that Feige said is off-limits! 268 00:15:07,300 --> 00:15:08,596 What about Bolivian marching powder? 269 00:15:08,635 --> 00:15:09,938 They know all the slang terms. 270 00:15:09,963 --> 00:15:10,908 They have a list. 271 00:15:10,933 --> 00:15:11,963 Even Snowboarding? 272 00:15:11,988 --> 00:15:12,812 Even Disco Dust. 273 00:15:12,837 --> 00:15:13,735 White Girl Interrupted? 274 00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:14,666 Even Forrest Bump. 275 00:15:14,691 --> 00:15:15,283 Fogorship. 276 00:15:15,308 --> 00:15:16,344 I won't even try powder gonuts. 277 00:15:16,369 --> 00:15:17,632 Do you want to build a snowman? 278 00:15:17,657 --> 00:15:18,595 Yes! 279 00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:19,885 But I can't. 280 00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:22,642 Hold here. 281 00:15:23,128 --> 00:15:24,026 Here? 282 00:15:24,198 --> 00:15:25,003 Oh. 283 00:15:25,206 --> 00:15:26,300 What happened? 284 00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:27,300 That's the best part. 285 00:15:28,078 --> 00:15:29,532 Thanks for coming. 286 00:15:29,557 --> 00:15:30,557 Yeah. 287 00:15:30,617 --> 00:15:31,617 How's work? 288 00:15:31,642 --> 00:15:33,300 Oh, I got a promotion. 289 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:34,600 No way. 290 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:35,600 Yeah. 291 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:38,600 It's mind-numbing middle management, but I'm happy. 292 00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:39,600 That's great! 293 00:15:40,826 --> 00:15:42,943 - What about you? - Seeing anyone? 294 00:15:43,210 --> 00:15:44,968 Umm... yeah. 295 00:15:45,181 --> 00:15:46,553 A guy from work. 296 00:15:46,929 --> 00:15:48,381 Dermott. 297 00:15:49,130 --> 00:15:51,868 He is kind. Loves to go hiking. 298 00:15:52,467 --> 00:15:53,856 Hasn't gotten me shot yet. 299 00:15:53,881 --> 00:15:56,466 Well, it's the early days. 300 00:16:00,032 --> 00:16:00,924 What about you? 301 00:16:00,949 --> 00:16:02,907 You seeing anyone? 302 00:16:02,932 --> 00:16:04,736 No, no. I live in a one bedroom apartment. 303 00:16:04,769 --> 00:16:06,714 Share a bed with Blind Al. 304 00:16:09,212 --> 00:16:10,212 All right. 305 00:16:10,237 --> 00:16:11,237 All right. 306 00:16:12,701 --> 00:16:15,820 Happy birthday To You 307 00:16:15,845 --> 00:16:16,945 Speech! 308 00:16:17,555 --> 00:16:19,647 Okay. Okay. Okay. 309 00:16:20,226 --> 00:16:21,366 Birthdays. 310 00:16:21,391 --> 00:16:23,994 Boy. Every spin around the moon is a new adventure indeed. 311 00:16:24,019 --> 00:16:24,986 Sun, dumbass. 312 00:16:25,011 --> 00:16:26,546 Okay, round earther. 313 00:16:27,564 --> 00:16:28,564 Where was I? 314 00:16:28,589 --> 00:16:29,706 The adventure of life. 315 00:16:29,731 --> 00:16:30,231 Right. 316 00:16:30,256 --> 00:16:32,904 Umm... it's been a challenging few years. 317 00:16:33,006 --> 00:16:34,502 Haven't seen you guys in a while. 318 00:16:34,542 --> 00:16:36,600 Been through a lot. Change of life. 319 00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:37,600 Menopause? 320 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:39,327 Bitch, are you improv-ing? 321 00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:43,005 I'm sorry you had to see that, Yukio. 322 00:16:43,099 --> 00:16:44,099 It's okay. 323 00:16:45,670 --> 00:16:47,568 But I'm happy. 324 00:16:47,607 --> 00:16:51,693 That's because of each and every one of you. 325 00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:55,213 I guess what I'm trying to say is how proud I am, how grateful I am 326 00:16:55,238 --> 00:16:59,635 to be standing in a room with every single person I love. 327 00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:06,685 I'm the luckiest man alive. 328 00:17:08,521 --> 00:17:10,020 Make a wish, buddy. 329 00:17:10,099 --> 00:17:11,545 10-4, good buddy. 330 00:17:12,349 --> 00:17:13,943 Going down. 331 00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:20,600 Wade Wilson? 332 00:17:20,818 --> 00:17:22,371 Oh, yeah. Dancers. 333 00:17:22,396 --> 00:17:23,885 Dopinder must have ordered you. 334 00:17:23,910 --> 00:17:25,910 Are those supposed to be cop costumes? 335 00:17:25,935 --> 00:17:27,092 Never mind. 336 00:17:27,357 --> 00:17:28,466 Take your clothes off. 337 00:17:28,625 --> 00:17:31,054 But leave the helmets and this isn't Pretty Woman. 338 00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:32,850 We're kissing. 339 00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:35,154 What song do you guys promptly dance to? 340 00:17:38,365 --> 00:17:40,154 Is that supposed to be scary? 341 00:17:40,193 --> 00:17:42,053 Pegging isn't new for me, friendo. 342 00:17:42,078 --> 00:17:43,656 But it is for Disney. 343 00:17:45,443 --> 00:17:47,224 I've never been a natural bottom. 344 00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:51,381 So we're going to take things real slow and I want some crazy eye contact. 345 00:17:51,406 --> 00:17:54,600 Not you. You. Can't see your eyes through the mask, but I can feel 'em. 346 00:17:54,646 --> 00:17:58,020 We're gonna move on down the hallway so we can spare cleanup on aisle asshole. 347 00:17:58,045 --> 00:17:59,600 How does everyone feel about this plan? 348 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:00,600 I don't like you. 349 00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:04,123 Yes, let's hold on to that attitude and we're gonna do it angry. 350 00:18:22,030 --> 00:18:23,584 Mr. Wilson. 351 00:18:25,350 --> 00:18:28,035 You appear to have soiled yourself while unconscious. 352 00:18:28,060 --> 00:18:29,153 I wasn't unconscious. 353 00:18:29,178 --> 00:18:30,600 Who are you? 354 00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:35,719 I go by the name of Paradox. Mr. Paradox, and you're sitting here at the TVA. 355 00:18:35,744 --> 00:18:37,758 The Time Variance Authority. 356 00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:40,600 We're really a watchdog organization. 357 00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:42,803 Except we're more lighthearted than that 358 00:18:42,828 --> 00:18:46,365 sounds, with a sort of throwback, ironic twist. 359 00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:50,600 And we're in charge of defending what's known as The Sacred Timeline. 360 00:18:50,889 --> 00:18:51,889 Holy fuck. 361 00:18:51,914 --> 00:18:53,867 That's a shit ton of exposition for a threequel. 362 00:18:53,898 --> 00:18:56,100 Is this because I used Cable's time machine? 363 00:18:56,125 --> 00:18:58,600 Brought a couple of people back to life, then I destroyed it. 364 00:18:58,600 --> 00:18:59,905 That was a long time ago. 365 00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:02,600 Yes, we're aware of your abuse of your timeline. 366 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,961 You were so abusive of it. 367 00:19:05,047 --> 00:19:07,600 No, it has nothing to do with that. 368 00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:08,831 Walk with me. 369 00:19:14,951 --> 00:19:19,262 I brought you here, Mr. Wilson, to tell you that you're special. 370 00:19:19,287 --> 00:19:22,600 In fact, you've been chosen for a higher purpose. 371 00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:24,600 A purpose unclear, even to me. 372 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:29,775 But one that could save the entire Sacred Timeline 373 00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:32,600 from a possibly grisly fate some time in the future, 374 00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:34,600 which may very well need to be... 375 00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:37,118 ... avenged. 376 00:19:37,181 --> 00:19:43,663 The Sacred Timeline, I assume I'm going to Marvel? And how... 377 00:19:43,749 --> 00:19:45,601 Cinematic it feels... 378 00:19:45,626 --> 00:19:49,766 Gratuitous cameos, indiscriminate use of variants, the whole package? 379 00:19:50,544 --> 00:19:51,906 You tell me. 380 00:19:58,149 --> 00:19:59,242 Cap. 381 00:20:06,036 --> 00:20:07,896 You are no longer lost. 382 00:20:08,238 --> 00:20:11,333 Wade, you can be a hero among heroes. 383 00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:13,951 We've been surveilling you for quite a while. 384 00:20:13,990 --> 00:20:15,160 The subway station. 385 00:20:15,185 --> 00:20:16,990 A TVA outpost, yes. 386 00:20:18,114 --> 00:20:19,552 What is that? 387 00:20:22,262 --> 00:20:24,324 Is that me? Is that Thor? 388 00:20:25,184 --> 00:20:26,401 Is he crying? 389 00:20:26,426 --> 00:20:28,129 Let's not get ahead of ourselves. 390 00:20:28,446 --> 00:20:29,862 That happens in the distant future. 391 00:20:29,887 --> 00:20:30,887 Why is Thor crying? 392 00:20:30,912 --> 00:20:31,600 Quick, tell me. 393 00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:33,085 Stop that. Eyes on me. 394 00:20:33,110 --> 00:20:35,186 I brought you here to offer you an opportunity. 395 00:20:35,211 --> 00:20:38,600 The opportunity you sought years ago but for which you were not ready. 396 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:40,895 We believe you are ready now. 397 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:43,622 Ready for a chance to leave your timeline and join the greatest 398 00:20:43,647 --> 00:20:47,328 universe of all. I'm about to give you the thing you've always wanted. 399 00:20:47,353 --> 00:20:48,965 I smell what you're stepping in. The power in 400 00:20:48,989 --> 00:20:51,727 the Marvel universe is about to change forever. 401 00:20:53,078 --> 00:20:55,243 I am the messiah. 402 00:20:56,978 --> 00:21:01,938 I am Marvel Jesus. 403 00:21:03,298 --> 00:21:04,813 Excuse me. 404 00:21:09,342 --> 00:21:12,310 Suck it, Fox. I'm going to Disneyland. 405 00:21:12,857 --> 00:21:14,193 Get fucked! 406 00:21:16,950 --> 00:21:18,067 Where do I sign? 407 00:21:18,092 --> 00:21:19,426 Oh, there's no need for paperwork. 408 00:21:19,451 --> 00:21:21,826 Good. Not to brag, but I do not read. 409 00:21:22,459 --> 00:21:24,913 There is one thing I will need though. 410 00:21:29,505 --> 00:21:30,756 Fuck off! 411 00:21:31,279 --> 00:21:33,170 Adorn me, Beardo. 412 00:21:53,478 --> 00:21:54,720 Fucking A! 413 00:21:55,485 --> 00:21:56,659 It's perfect. 414 00:21:56,684 --> 00:22:00,051 FYI, your tailor is a predator, but I love it. 415 00:22:00,129 --> 00:22:06,808 Snug, no camel toe, new car smell, and adamantium katanas? You shouldn't have. 416 00:22:07,021 --> 00:22:09,021 Go ahead. Take it in. 417 00:22:09,199 --> 00:22:11,844 And yes, your underwear is getting tighter. 418 00:22:11,869 --> 00:22:13,565 That guy knows what I'm talking about. 419 00:22:13,590 --> 00:22:15,407 His clothes say middle management. 420 00:22:15,432 --> 00:22:17,995 But his eyes say, "fucky, fucky." 421 00:22:18,020 --> 00:22:19,754 Yes, you look very nice. 422 00:22:19,779 --> 00:22:20,770 Nice? 423 00:22:20,795 --> 00:22:22,926 Your buddy here is ready to throw it all away for me. 424 00:22:22,951 --> 00:22:23,668 You calling your wife? 425 00:22:23,693 --> 00:22:24,248 HR. 426 00:22:24,273 --> 00:22:25,535 Does your wife work in HR? 427 00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:27,865 I'm really glad you're taking this so well. 428 00:22:27,926 --> 00:22:29,926 Oh, I'm taking it well. 429 00:22:29,951 --> 00:22:32,471 I've never had a problem traveling for work. 430 00:22:32,496 --> 00:22:34,496 That said, we should talk vacation days. 431 00:22:34,521 --> 00:22:36,856 I'm more of a one week on, one week off kind of guy. 432 00:22:36,881 --> 00:22:38,520 I think it's what they do in Denmark. 433 00:22:38,545 --> 00:22:42,481 You'll never see a Danish flag on the moon, but goddammit, they're happy. 434 00:22:42,506 --> 00:22:46,386 Now, let's power up your little Amazon Fire phone there and zip me back home so I can 435 00:22:46,411 --> 00:22:49,551 let my friends know that they have been upgraded to disciples. 436 00:22:49,576 --> 00:22:50,450 Yeah. 437 00:22:50,475 --> 00:22:53,292 I don't think you quite understand. 438 00:22:53,396 --> 00:22:57,878 You will not be returning to your home because there will be no home to return to. 439 00:22:57,903 --> 00:22:58,903 Come again? 440 00:22:58,928 --> 00:23:00,420 This time in my ears? 441 00:23:04,115 --> 00:23:07,228 This is your universe, Mr. Wilson. 442 00:23:07,798 --> 00:23:13,137 That is what happens when a universe loses their anchor being. 443 00:23:13,162 --> 00:23:15,559 See how it decays from the inside? 444 00:23:15,584 --> 00:23:17,059 This is how a reality dies. 445 00:23:17,084 --> 00:23:18,410 What is an anchor being? 446 00:23:18,435 --> 00:23:20,943 An anchor being is an entity of such vital importance that when 447 00:23:20,998 --> 00:23:25,131 they die, their whole world slowly withers out of existence. 448 00:23:25,310 --> 00:23:28,137 You've just won the lottery because I didn't die. 449 00:23:28,162 --> 00:23:30,287 It was just a little midlife crisis. I'm better now. 450 00:23:36,120 --> 00:23:37,878 Oh, my God. 451 00:23:37,903 --> 00:23:38,903 What a laugh. 452 00:23:38,928 --> 00:23:41,607 Can you imagine if you were the anchor being? 453 00:23:41,632 --> 00:23:42,632 Yeah. 454 00:23:44,006 --> 00:23:46,365 No, it isn't you, Mr. Wilson. 455 00:23:46,826 --> 00:23:49,725 Your anchor being died in an act of self-sacrifice 456 00:23:49,750 --> 00:23:53,756 so epic that it sent shivers down the timeline. 457 00:23:54,287 --> 00:24:02,023 I am referring of course, to Logan. The Wolverine. 458 00:24:05,660 --> 00:24:07,683 Don't be what they made you. 459 00:24:18,217 --> 00:24:20,428 So this is what it feels like. 460 00:24:22,107 --> 00:24:23,475 Logan. 461 00:24:23,834 --> 00:24:25,373 Of course. 462 00:24:29,514 --> 00:24:34,459 Logan? The guy with forks for hands? That Wolverine? 463 00:24:35,217 --> 00:24:36,600 Yeah. I got it. 464 00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:39,600 You can turn off your retro graphics of death now. Make it stop. 465 00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:42,548 We're not doing it, Mr. Wilson. We certainly can't stop it. 466 00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:45,600 How long do we got? 467 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:47,600 In most cases, a couple thousand years. 468 00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:48,600 Well, sweet... 469 00:24:48,625 --> 00:24:50,323 Most cases aren't fast enough. 470 00:24:50,348 --> 00:24:51,488 Not for me. 471 00:24:51,772 --> 00:24:52,902 What does that mean? 472 00:24:52,996 --> 00:24:57,600 It means that I've been tasked with overseeing the end of your universe. 473 00:24:57,600 --> 00:25:00,445 Regardless of what the pencil-pushers upstairs may prefer, I 474 00:25:00,470 --> 00:25:04,873 will not waste my life watching it die slowly of natural causes. 475 00:25:04,967 --> 00:25:08,176 We used to just prune these things. Simple, elegant, efficient. 476 00:25:08,201 --> 00:25:10,600 But I'm told the TVA doesn't like to do that anymore. 477 00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:11,600 Well I do. 478 00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:13,227 And no matter what my so-called superiors say, 479 00:25:13,252 --> 00:25:16,030 the multiverse does not need a babysitter. 480 00:25:16,055 --> 00:25:17,811 We need a mercy killer. 481 00:25:17,836 --> 00:25:21,906 And in this instance, I am the mercy killer! 482 00:25:26,865 --> 00:25:29,004 What in the MacGuffin is that? 483 00:25:29,029 --> 00:25:32,600 That's a time ripper, Mr. Wilson. An accelerant. 484 00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:37,600 Once completed, it will allow me to destroy the space-time matrix of your universe. 485 00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:41,788 You see, I don't want to work for the TVA. I want to be the TVA. 486 00:25:41,813 --> 00:25:43,853 And the first step involves showing this 487 00:25:43,877 --> 00:25:46,600 organization how much more efficient it can become. 488 00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:50,600 To wit, I will be giving your universe a swift and compassionate end. 489 00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:53,600 And don't worry, your friends won't feel a thing. It will be over just like this. 490 00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:54,407 "Oh, what is that?" 491 00:25:54,432 --> 00:25:55,134 "Eh." 492 00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:56,725 Trust me. 493 00:26:09,237 --> 00:26:11,753 You're gonna Old Yeller my fucking universe? 494 00:26:11,909 --> 00:26:15,414 In your parlance, yes. Two in the heart, one in the head. 495 00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:18,584 Look, Mr. Wilson, you have two choices. You can either rejoin your 496 00:26:18,609 --> 00:26:23,116 loved ones and collectively cease to exist in, I'd say, 72 hours or... 497 00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:30,600 You join the Sacred Timeline and you end your days of insignificance and mediocrity. 498 00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:37,507 Wade. Wade, you can finally, finally matter. 499 00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:49,538 - That's all I've ever really wanted. - I know. 500 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:51,687 I know. 501 00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:56,168 You know, I'm nothing if not morally flexible. 502 00:26:58,021 --> 00:26:59,574 Yep. Yep. 503 00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:02,600 I'll do it. 504 00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:03,600 Wise choice. 505 00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:05,600 The Sacred Timeline is happy to have you. 506 00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:08,600 I was talking about finding the Wolverine and breaking your fucking nose. 507 00:27:22,115 --> 00:27:23,264 Find him. 508 00:27:23,583 --> 00:27:24,646 Find him! 509 00:27:24,779 --> 00:27:26,841 And boy, did he ever. 510 00:27:28,177 --> 00:27:30,014 Which brings us back to this. 511 00:27:31,701 --> 00:27:33,865 The desecration of a sacred corpse. 512 00:27:40,942 --> 00:27:42,802 Ow! My own fucking arm! 513 00:27:47,459 --> 00:27:48,600 Now we're talking! 514 00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:49,910 Not like this! 515 00:27:49,935 --> 00:27:50,935 No! 516 00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:52,396 No! 517 00:27:52,421 --> 00:27:53,076 Sorry! 518 00:27:53,101 --> 00:27:54,101 Wolverineing is hard! 519 00:27:54,126 --> 00:27:55,126 Make it stop! 520 00:27:55,151 --> 00:27:56,823 Mangold tried! 521 00:27:59,506 --> 00:28:01,354 You sick fuck! 522 00:28:01,693 --> 00:28:06,284 Logan was a hero. And the only thing worth a shit to ever come out of Canada. 523 00:28:13,706 --> 00:28:20,111 Get my country's name out of your fucking mouth. And my sword. 524 00:28:20,162 --> 00:28:26,450 Give me that. Oh, I got to find me another Logan. 525 00:28:26,814 --> 00:28:28,151 An alive one. 526 00:28:28,176 --> 00:28:29,403 Don't get up, guys. 527 00:28:29,512 --> 00:28:31,122 I'll see myself out. 528 00:28:38,005 --> 00:28:39,139 Logan! 529 00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:44,389 I'm gonna need you to come with me. 530 00:28:45,496 --> 00:28:47,066 Who's asking? 531 00:28:48,428 --> 00:28:50,405 Look at this hairy little cretin. 532 00:28:50,614 --> 00:28:52,641 Did you stick the landing, little guy? 533 00:28:52,745 --> 00:28:55,964 Yes, you did, comic- accurate short king! 534 00:28:55,989 --> 00:28:57,989 Such a cute wittle Wolvie. 535 00:28:58,014 --> 00:28:59,990 Cue the fucking montage, baby. 536 00:29:00,540 --> 00:29:01,540 Boy! 537 00:29:01,565 --> 00:29:03,565 Everything seems to be on fire. 538 00:29:03,590 --> 00:29:05,313 Do you have a dragon? 539 00:29:05,677 --> 00:29:08,389 You have anchor being written all over you. 540 00:29:17,696 --> 00:29:18,892 Patch! 541 00:29:20,544 --> 00:29:22,091 Now, we're talking. 542 00:29:22,553 --> 00:29:24,021 Oh yeah! 543 00:29:24,490 --> 00:29:26,998 That's the whole goddamn package right there. 544 00:29:27,137 --> 00:29:28,137 Howdy. 545 00:29:28,162 --> 00:29:30,850 I'm auditioning anchor beings. 546 00:29:31,209 --> 00:29:32,209 Oh! 547 00:29:32,234 --> 00:29:34,046 That's gonna need some coconut oil. 548 00:29:38,443 --> 00:29:40,443 What in the fuck. 549 00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:41,990 Are you okay? 550 00:29:42,084 --> 00:29:43,350 Oh, yes, yes. 551 00:29:43,412 --> 00:29:45,342 Classic John Byrne. Brown and tan. 552 00:29:45,373 --> 00:29:47,749 Now, you fought the Hulk in this outfit, no? 553 00:29:50,060 --> 00:29:51,968 I'm Marvel Jesus, you dull creature, and I will not... 554 00:30:02,232 --> 00:30:05,232 It's not you, we're just going in a different direction. 555 00:30:08,201 --> 00:30:10,600 You know from behind, you look a little bit like Henry... 556 00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:11,857 Oh, my fuck! 557 00:30:12,092 --> 00:30:14,975 The Cavillrine. The legends are true. 558 00:30:15,076 --> 00:30:18,059 And may I say, sir, on behalf of all humanity, 559 00:30:18,084 --> 00:30:20,146 this just feels right. 560 00:30:20,248 --> 00:30:23,396 We will treat you so much better than those shitfucks down the street. 561 00:30:23,466 --> 00:30:24,701 You were just leavin'. 562 00:30:24,732 --> 00:30:27,060 No sir, not while the fate of my universe is at stake... 563 00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:33,600 This one looks promising. 564 00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:34,600 Down you go. 565 00:30:35,764 --> 00:30:36,764 Again. 566 00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:39,600 I told you, you're not welcome here. 567 00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:41,600 You're not welcome anywhere. 568 00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:42,728 Now get the fuck outta my bar. 569 00:30:42,753 --> 00:30:45,600 Just give me one more drink and then I'll leave. 570 00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:47,173 That's not how it works. 571 00:30:47,198 --> 00:30:48,600 It does now. 572 00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:49,600 Leave the bottle. 573 00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:50,600 I know you, Bub? 574 00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:51,600 Nope. 575 00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:52,722 But I know you. 576 00:30:52,847 --> 00:30:54,706 Everybody knows me. 577 00:30:55,764 --> 00:30:57,326 I'm the Wolverine. 578 00:30:57,420 --> 00:30:59,420 Yes, you are. 579 00:30:59,445 --> 00:31:02,445 And I need you to come with me right now. 580 00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:03,600 Look, lady... 581 00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:04,600 I'm not interested. 582 00:31:04,600 --> 00:31:05,600 Really goes into your cups, here. 583 00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:07,600 Why would I go with you? 584 00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:11,398 Because, unfortunately, I need you. 585 00:31:11,423 --> 00:31:15,600 And even more unfortunately, my entire world needs you. 586 00:31:15,967 --> 00:31:18,033 Are you two going to fuck or fight? 587 00:31:21,481 --> 00:31:23,481 You're gonna take that from him? 588 00:31:23,515 --> 00:31:24,515 Yep. 589 00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:26,600 I can tell you have a sort of "don't get too close," 590 00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:28,600 "I'll only break your heart" vibe going here. 591 00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:30,600 But every other Wolverine would've really hurt me by now. 592 00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:32,376 And I'm sort of on the tick-tick. 593 00:31:32,401 --> 00:31:33,600 So, upsy-daisy, here we go. 594 00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:34,600 Whoa. Whoa. Hey, hey! 595 00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:35,600 I got ya. 596 00:31:37,131 --> 00:31:38,131 Oh. 597 00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:40,864 Whiskey dick of the claws. 598 00:31:40,889 --> 00:31:42,600 It's quite common in Wolverines over 40. 599 00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:43,600 You don't want this. 600 00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:44,898 You're right. I don't. 601 00:31:44,945 --> 00:31:46,484 And you don't want this. 602 00:31:46,509 --> 00:31:48,600 Unless you want to take a deep breath through your fucking forehead, 603 00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:50,600 I suggest you reconsider. 604 00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:52,172 Let's go, Peanut. 605 00:31:56,608 --> 00:31:58,608 Hold, hold, hold... hold on. 606 00:31:58,967 --> 00:32:00,162 Watch this. 607 00:32:00,642 --> 00:32:01,642 All right. 608 00:32:01,667 --> 00:32:03,667 That's... whoa. 609 00:32:03,692 --> 00:32:04,692 Easy. 610 00:32:08,060 --> 00:32:09,785 Good God. 611 00:32:09,810 --> 00:32:12,053 Thirsty little honey badger, aren't you? 612 00:32:12,232 --> 00:32:14,232 It's okay. Keep going. 613 00:32:14,374 --> 00:32:17,062 Audiences are accustomed to long runtimes. 614 00:32:21,856 --> 00:32:23,804 Oh, I guess you'll have to do. 615 00:32:23,939 --> 00:32:25,676 Okay. Here we... 616 00:32:26,541 --> 00:32:28,853 Oh, look at those jammies. 617 00:32:29,166 --> 00:32:32,023 That only took 20 fucking years. 618 00:32:32,863 --> 00:32:34,863 One anchor being coming right up. 619 00:32:34,981 --> 00:32:36,981 On your left, baby girl. 620 00:32:37,044 --> 00:32:38,271 This Logan has the same. 621 00:32:38,336 --> 00:32:39,336 He can do anything. 622 00:32:39,361 --> 00:32:40,641 Even musical stuff. 623 00:32:40,666 --> 00:32:42,734 Bonus, he's actually wearing a costume like he's 624 00:32:42,759 --> 00:32:45,104 not embarassed to be in a superhero movie for once. 625 00:32:45,129 --> 00:32:46,575 I don't understand. 626 00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:48,351 You said my universe is dying, 627 00:32:48,376 --> 00:32:50,600 because this sack of nuts got himself killed. 628 00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:52,600 Well, problem solved. 629 00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:53,600 My God. 630 00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:59,600 You actually think you can replace an anchor being, with this? 631 00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:02,238 I wouldn't have accepted any other Wolverine, b-t-dubs, 632 00:33:02,263 --> 00:33:06,455 but you have outdone yourself and brought me the worst Wolverine! 633 00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:07,692 What do you mean the worst one? 634 00:33:07,717 --> 00:33:08,822 Mr. Wilson... 635 00:33:09,018 --> 00:33:12,600 This Wolverine let down his entire world. 636 00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:15,295 He's the stuff of legend, but not in a good way. 637 00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:16,600 And what he did... 638 00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:21,600 Well, some things are just beyond forgiveness. 639 00:33:22,559 --> 00:33:23,559 Okay... 640 00:33:23,584 --> 00:33:25,028 How do I make this right? 641 00:33:25,053 --> 00:33:26,662 I can... I'll do anything. 642 00:33:26,763 --> 00:33:28,862 I gave you a chance 643 00:33:28,887 --> 00:33:29,887 at greatness. 644 00:33:30,019 --> 00:33:33,770 Because my superiors deemed you special, clearly not special in a good way. 645 00:33:33,795 --> 00:33:36,963 Apparently you have some important future purpose to serve. 646 00:33:36,988 --> 00:33:38,346 With Thor. He holds me. 647 00:33:38,371 --> 00:33:39,095 But... 648 00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:40,262 I did my duty. 649 00:33:40,287 --> 00:33:42,287 I gave you the opportunity to be somebody. 650 00:33:42,312 --> 00:33:46,575 And instead of accepting my offering with humility and gratitude, you broke my nose. 651 00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:47,600 It looks great. 652 00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:51,600 And decimated dozens of my men with the exhumed corpse of a hero. 653 00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:53,600 Dishonoring not only his remains, but his memory. 654 00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:55,076 What are you, the internet? 655 00:33:55,101 --> 00:33:56,793 Your world is dying. 656 00:33:56,818 --> 00:33:58,451 Thank you very much. 657 00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:00,029 And there's no stopping it. 658 00:34:01,857 --> 00:34:03,314 The humane thing to do... 659 00:34:03,339 --> 00:34:04,527 Is to make it quick. 660 00:34:04,552 --> 00:34:07,600 Is the thought of vaporizing my universe making you peckish? 661 00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:08,600 I'm eating my feelings. 662 00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:11,812 I'm about to lose everything that I've ever cared about because the hairy 663 00:34:11,837 --> 00:34:14,522 thundercunt from down undercunt finally dies, 664 00:34:14,547 --> 00:34:16,600 and he's standing right behind me, isn't he? 665 00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:18,600 Welcome to the MCU, by the way. 666 00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:20,845 You're joining at a bit of a low point. 667 00:34:21,149 --> 00:34:23,600 As for you... I want to talk to your boss. 668 00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:28,274 I want you to get him on the phone and you tell him, her or them, that Marvel H. Christ 669 00:34:28,299 --> 00:34:29,540 isn't playing! 670 00:34:34,537 --> 00:34:35,623 Holy shit. 671 00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:39,600 I just heard a symphony of buttholes clenching all at once. 672 00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:40,600 You're off-grid. 673 00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:43,600 Your bosses don't know what you sick fucks are doing down here. 674 00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:44,600 Well, I'll tell you what. 675 00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:47,309 I have a black belt in Karen and I'm going to go 676 00:34:47,334 --> 00:34:49,600 upstairs and I'm going to tell them all about you. 677 00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:53,016 Oh, silence is nice, isn't it? 678 00:34:53,041 --> 00:34:54,041 Where the fuck did he go? 679 00:34:54,066 --> 00:34:55,066 To the trash heap. 680 00:34:55,091 --> 00:34:56,162 You'll fit right in. 681 00:34:58,834 --> 00:35:00,032 That was close. 682 00:35:21,381 --> 00:35:23,427 Don't just stand there, you ape. 683 00:35:23,570 --> 00:35:25,296 Give me a hand up. 684 00:35:26,507 --> 00:35:27,600 No, I'm actually okay. 685 00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:28,429 Thank you. 686 00:35:30,300 --> 00:35:32,100 Where the hell are we? 687 00:35:32,125 --> 00:35:33,300 I don't know! 688 00:35:33,300 --> 00:35:36,660 Looks kinda Mad Max-y, but that would be IP infringement, right? 689 00:35:36,685 --> 00:35:37,857 Fuckin' jokes. 690 00:35:41,177 --> 00:35:42,177 Fuck. 691 00:35:42,904 --> 00:35:44,435 Were you even listening back there? 692 00:35:44,460 --> 00:35:47,088 If we don't make it back to that Mr. Paradox asshole, 693 00:35:47,113 --> 00:35:49,756 - Everyone I know is gonna die. - Not my fucking problem. 694 00:35:50,256 --> 00:35:51,856 Is that all you got? 695 00:35:52,508 --> 00:35:55,078 Is that what you said when your world went to shit? 696 00:35:56,727 --> 00:35:57,803 Come again? 697 00:35:57,828 --> 00:36:01,677 Yeah, I heard all about you. How you screwed up everything. 698 00:36:01,702 --> 00:36:04,702 You should be thanking me for pulling you out of that bed you shit in... 699 00:36:04,727 --> 00:36:07,112 Ow, you backstabbing son of a bitch! 700 00:36:12,780 --> 00:36:14,516 Are you ready to be calm now? 701 00:36:21,328 --> 00:36:23,140 Rest in pieces, Fox. 702 00:36:38,328 --> 00:36:40,582 I don't want to fight you, Peanut. 703 00:36:41,068 --> 00:36:43,988 Doesn't matter what you did, I just need your help. 704 00:36:45,692 --> 00:36:47,598 I don't fucking care. 705 00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:58,445 Fuck. This is gonna hurt. 706 00:37:02,382 --> 00:37:05,433 Alright. Fuck it. 707 00:37:05,812 --> 00:37:07,936 Let's give the people what they came for. 708 00:37:08,469 --> 00:37:10,594 Let's fucking go. 709 00:37:11,056 --> 00:37:13,454 Get your spectral sock out, nerds. 710 00:37:13,507 --> 00:37:15,112 It's gon' get good. 711 00:38:07,730 --> 00:38:08,854 Gotcha! 712 00:38:15,226 --> 00:38:16,414 Baby knife. 713 00:38:21,085 --> 00:38:23,125 Let's see you grow your fucking head back! 714 00:38:23,156 --> 00:38:25,700 - Wait, wait! I can fix it. - Fix what? 715 00:38:25,700 --> 00:38:29,700 Whatever you it is that you did, whatever made you so bad. 716 00:38:29,700 --> 00:38:33,813 Those pricks in the TVA, you heard them. 717 00:38:34,470 --> 00:38:39,700 They have the power to end my universe, but they also have the power to change yours. 718 00:38:40,614 --> 00:38:45,570 We get back there and we can fix your world, together. 719 00:38:46,336 --> 00:38:50,500 I promise... they can fix it. 720 00:38:51,395 --> 00:38:54,336 Hey! We fight each other, we lose. 721 00:38:54,625 --> 00:38:56,000 Dear God, it's him. 722 00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:57,000 Who? 723 00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:58,000 The one. 724 00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:01,213 The superhero equivalent to comfort food, or Molly. 725 00:39:01,260 --> 00:39:05,103 White guys' answer to all the disappointments in another A-lister. 726 00:39:05,196 --> 00:39:07,000 Fair warning, gorgeous. 727 00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:09,344 You'll encounter some indelicate language, a smidge of 728 00:39:09,369 --> 00:39:12,163 ass-play, but we've been prohibited from using cocaine. 729 00:39:12,188 --> 00:39:13,225 On camera. 730 00:39:13,250 --> 00:39:14,250 They're coming. 731 00:39:14,275 --> 00:39:15,509 Who's "they?" 732 00:39:21,905 --> 00:39:23,601 They're driving angry. 733 00:39:29,109 --> 00:39:30,208 Now that's 734 00:39:30,233 --> 00:39:31,914 a superhero landing. 735 00:39:38,131 --> 00:39:39,451 I got this. 736 00:40:02,782 --> 00:40:04,040 Stay close. 737 00:40:04,234 --> 00:40:05,547 Aye-aye, captain. 738 00:40:06,664 --> 00:40:08,274 You got this. 739 00:40:10,007 --> 00:40:11,625 Cassandra is gonna be 740 00:40:11,703 --> 00:40:13,578 giddy, when she sees what we caught. 741 00:40:14,014 --> 00:40:15,679 You can't run. 742 00:40:15,704 --> 00:40:16,833 Everybody knows that. 743 00:40:16,858 --> 00:40:19,390 Do you see anyone running, dick for brains? 744 00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:22,000 You're not gonna love what happens next. 745 00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:23,586 Oh, my God. 746 00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:25,000 Oh, my God. 747 00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:26,203 He's gonna say it. 748 00:40:26,507 --> 00:40:28,757 Oh, my God, he's gonna say it! 749 00:40:28,782 --> 00:40:29,609 Say what? 750 00:40:29,634 --> 00:40:31,289 - Avengers assem... - Flame on! 751 00:40:31,314 --> 00:40:32,437 Sorry, what now? 752 00:40:55,190 --> 00:40:56,190 Fuck! 753 00:41:00,287 --> 00:41:01,622 We don't know that guy. 754 00:41:01,647 --> 00:41:02,756 I thought we did. 755 00:41:02,781 --> 00:41:04,781 I know you. 756 00:41:04,898 --> 00:41:05,945 Holy sh... 757 00:41:08,189 --> 00:41:09,439 Sabretooth. 758 00:41:09,854 --> 00:41:11,150 Your brother. 759 00:41:11,617 --> 00:41:13,244 Ready to die? 760 00:41:13,510 --> 00:41:14,814 Wait, wait, wait, wait! 761 00:41:14,839 --> 00:41:15,947 Time! 762 00:41:16,423 --> 00:41:18,000 You look ridiculous. 763 00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:21,000 People have waited decades for this fight. 764 00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:22,000 It's not gonna be easy. 765 00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:24,000 Maybe I can the devil, take him down. 766 00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:25,640 Side control. 767 00:41:25,665 --> 00:41:29,625 Then bowl him out, and you ground and pound until he makes no sound because he's dead. 768 00:41:29,650 --> 00:41:30,735 Shut the fuck up. 769 00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:32,000 Oh, my God. 770 00:41:32,055 --> 00:41:33,875 Okay, good luck. I'm a huge fan. 771 00:41:45,803 --> 00:41:47,428 What is it, girl? 772 00:41:47,453 --> 00:41:49,266 Is there trouble at the well? 773 00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:55,875 Big trouble. 774 00:41:55,939 --> 00:41:57,321 Behold! 775 00:41:57,453 --> 00:42:01,679 The head of your precious queen, Furiosa! 776 00:42:01,726 --> 00:42:03,923 I have the Wolverine. 777 00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:07,000 I alone control her. 778 00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:09,473 You come for me... 779 00:42:09,737 --> 00:42:12,311 You come for her. 780 00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:14,767 So sorry. 781 00:42:14,792 --> 00:42:16,000 I know it's pronounced him. 782 00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:17,000 I'm gender blind. 783 00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:17,798 It's my cross to bear. 784 00:42:17,823 --> 00:42:18,876 Who's next? 785 00:42:18,901 --> 00:42:19,901 Toad! 786 00:42:19,926 --> 00:42:21,149 You're up. 787 00:42:41,622 --> 00:42:43,137 God of Thunder... 788 00:42:46,929 --> 00:42:48,545 How long was I asleep? 789 00:42:48,570 --> 00:42:50,125 Not all of you was asleep. 790 00:42:50,373 --> 00:42:51,617 Don't bother. 791 00:42:51,734 --> 00:42:53,359 They're very thorough. 792 00:42:53,390 --> 00:42:56,000 And you know where we are. Start talking. 793 00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:58,000 You're in the Void. 794 00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:00,000 Think of it as purgatory. 795 00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:02,259 Reed called it a metaphysical junkyard. 796 00:43:02,284 --> 00:43:06,260 Where anything useless goes before it gets annihilated forever. 797 00:43:06,285 --> 00:43:10,301 And where the TVA sends people that don't play nice with the rest of the multiverse. 798 00:43:10,326 --> 00:43:11,326 Like you. 799 00:43:11,351 --> 00:43:12,357 And you. 800 00:43:12,382 --> 00:43:14,343 What does the annihilating? 801 00:43:14,562 --> 00:43:15,562 Alioth. 802 00:43:15,617 --> 00:43:17,000 Alioth is in this thing? 803 00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:18,862 From Loki season one, episode five? 804 00:43:18,887 --> 00:43:21,000 Everyone here is on the run from Alioth. 805 00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:23,000 Most don't make it. 806 00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:25,000 There's a resistance though. 807 00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:28,000 Other people like us that managed to survive. 808 00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:32,000 They're hiding out in the borderlands, trying to find a way to fuck out of here. 809 00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:33,310 Then that's where we go. 810 00:43:33,335 --> 00:43:33,972 We? 811 00:43:33,997 --> 00:43:35,000 Us? 812 00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:35,804 A team? 813 00:43:35,829 --> 00:43:36,828 The answer is yes. 814 00:43:36,853 --> 00:43:37,796 Shake on it. 815 00:43:37,821 --> 00:43:38,656 Fuck! 816 00:43:38,681 --> 00:43:41,245 You nicked it. Just got the tip with your little steak knife. 817 00:43:41,328 --> 00:43:44,756 These others can help us get back to the TVA, they can fix this. 818 00:43:46,006 --> 00:43:47,764 Something funny, Bub? 819 00:43:47,789 --> 00:43:50,000 She might have something to say about that. 820 00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:51,179 Who is she? 821 00:43:51,866 --> 00:43:53,320 In the Void... 822 00:43:53,397 --> 00:43:55,584 you are either food for Alioth, 823 00:43:55,609 --> 00:43:57,609 or you work for her. 824 00:45:08,905 --> 00:45:11,030 Huh. Paul Rudd finally aged. 825 00:45:11,687 --> 00:45:13,692 You must be this year's Juggernaut. Thank you. 826 00:45:13,717 --> 00:45:15,349 I'd keep your voices down. 827 00:45:15,374 --> 00:45:16,772 She don't like the chatter. 828 00:45:16,797 --> 00:45:18,295 She's gonna love you. 829 00:45:33,868 --> 00:45:35,421 Is that Charles? 830 00:45:35,446 --> 00:45:37,407 Hey, Chuck! It's us! 831 00:45:37,477 --> 00:45:38,719 That's not Chuck. 832 00:45:38,782 --> 00:45:39,860 Shit. 833 00:45:40,868 --> 00:45:45,321 Oh, ableism, great. That's not gonna go over well with the woke mob! 834 00:45:45,462 --> 00:45:47,000 A Wolverine! 835 00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:51,632 I wondered when I'd get one of you. You're one of Xavier's. 836 00:45:51,657 --> 00:45:53,311 You know him, you know Chuck? 837 00:45:53,336 --> 00:45:56,000 Oh, I knew him. We shared a womb. 838 00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:59,601 Tried to strangle the sly little fellow with my umbilical cord. 839 00:45:59,664 --> 00:46:02,875 Amen. I've never loved roommates. Mine's blind. 840 00:46:02,929 --> 00:46:06,000 Except she can see cocaine, for some reason. 841 00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:09,000 You want to chime in, your Majesty? I'm dying here. 842 00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:10,234 Who are you? 843 00:46:10,259 --> 00:46:13,226 Charles Xavier's twin. Cassandra Nova. 844 00:46:13,251 --> 00:46:15,000 - Bullshit. - Oh, he's an anal birth. 845 00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:17,000 You two are cute. 846 00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:19,000 I have a good feeling about this. 847 00:46:21,878 --> 00:46:24,975 And I've been trying to catch this little firefly for years. 848 00:46:25,620 --> 00:46:27,385 Haven't I, Johnny? 849 00:46:28,513 --> 00:46:30,756 You have picked the wrong time to make new friends. 850 00:46:30,781 --> 00:46:32,907 Oh, Johnny told us all about you. 851 00:46:32,932 --> 00:46:33,932 Maybe shut up now. 852 00:46:33,957 --> 00:46:34,822 Yeah. Maybe don't--- 853 00:46:34,847 --> 00:46:36,000 We're just talking here. 854 00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:39,000 Yeah, Johnny told us you're a psychotic, megalomaniacal asshole. 855 00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:40,000 His words, not mine. 856 00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:42,620 Hellbent on domination and pain. 857 00:46:43,331 --> 00:46:44,975 You said all that about me? 858 00:46:45,000 --> 00:46:45,850 No. 859 00:46:45,875 --> 00:46:46,740 No! 860 00:46:46,765 --> 00:46:47,752 I didn't say any of that. 861 00:46:47,777 --> 00:46:49,619 It's in stones, Johnny. 862 00:46:50,393 --> 00:46:52,171 Don't let her intimidate you. 863 00:46:52,404 --> 00:46:54,000 Like you said in the convoy, 864 00:46:54,000 --> 00:46:57,815 this finger-lickin', dead inside, pixie slab of third-rate, 865 00:46:57,840 --> 00:47:00,814 dime store nut milk can eat your delicious cinnamon ring 866 00:47:00,839 --> 00:47:03,040 and kick rocks all the way to bald hell. 867 00:47:03,165 --> 00:47:06,000 I never said any of those words in my entire life. 868 00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:07,000 The modesty. 869 00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:09,000 People think I'm a shit talker, 870 00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:11,445 but this guy, next level. 871 00:47:11,664 --> 00:47:15,000 What? This, wait... I don't even know what half of that means! 872 00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:17,000 My hat's off to you, sir. Truly. 873 00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:18,000 I didn't... 874 00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:20,000 He's--- 875 00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:21,000 I don't- 876 00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:28,000 Not my favorite Chris. 877 00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:30,000 You stupid piece of shit. You just got him fucking killed! 878 00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:31,914 Hey, we're all grieving. 879 00:47:31,939 --> 00:47:34,200 Do you know what he was doing to the budget? 880 00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:37,851 Alioth is hungry. 881 00:47:38,445 --> 00:47:40,209 There's been some kind of mistake. 882 00:47:40,234 --> 00:47:42,146 Big yellow is a backup anchor being, 883 00:47:42,171 --> 00:47:43,333 and I'm Marvel Jesus. 884 00:47:43,358 --> 00:47:44,591 MJ if you're nasty. 885 00:47:44,616 --> 00:47:45,653 This may be hard to hear, 886 00:47:45,678 --> 00:47:47,302 but there's another British villain 887 00:47:47,327 --> 00:47:49,000 who's gonna destroy my universe, 888 00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:50,000 and I'm gonna stop him. 889 00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:53,000 Oh, honey, you don't really strike me as the world saving type. 890 00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:57,000 Did I hit a nerve? 891 00:47:57,000 --> 00:47:59,000 I didn't want it to come to this. 892 00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:00,747 Either you help us... 893 00:48:00,772 --> 00:48:05,115 Or my friend here is gonna sing the entire second act of Music Man, with zero warmup. 894 00:48:05,631 --> 00:48:07,000 Where did you get the chair? 895 00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:09,659 Every once in a while, I do get a Charles through here. 896 00:48:09,916 --> 00:48:11,396 Never mind, though. 897 00:48:11,421 --> 00:48:12,421 No... 898 00:48:12,465 --> 00:48:14,254 He didn't care to find me. 899 00:48:14,327 --> 00:48:15,327 Ugh! 900 00:48:15,395 --> 00:48:18,035 Gen Z and their trauma bragging! 901 00:48:18,106 --> 00:48:20,041 Can't you just stuff it down, turn it into an 902 00:48:20,065 --> 00:48:22,635 accomplishment or cancer like the rest of us? 903 00:48:22,660 --> 00:48:24,479 But I'm not like the rest of you. 904 00:48:24,504 --> 00:48:26,207 Except maybe the Wolverine. 905 00:48:26,324 --> 00:48:29,000 Now, we can be truly terrifying together. 906 00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:30,377 Yeah, that's scary, huh? 907 00:48:30,402 --> 00:48:32,176 The TVA certainly thought so. 908 00:48:32,270 --> 00:48:35,000 They sent me here before I could walk. 909 00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:38,000 And you know, it's the best thing that ever happened to me. 910 00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:39,297 I love it here. 911 00:48:39,322 --> 00:48:41,000 You live in a garbage dump. 912 00:48:41,000 --> 00:48:44,000 I think we both know who lives in the garbage dump. 913 00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:46,000 The Void is a paradise. 914 00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:49,361 I can wield my power here without shame. 915 00:48:49,463 --> 00:48:53,151 Unfortunately, I had no Charles Xavier to teach me temperance. 916 00:48:53,461 --> 00:48:55,461 What about your Charles? 917 00:48:55,865 --> 00:48:59,318 Did he protect you? Did he make you feel safe? 918 00:48:59,404 --> 00:49:01,659 We're mutants. We're never safe. 919 00:49:09,731 --> 00:49:11,834 Whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't want the smoke. 920 00:49:12,146 --> 00:49:13,513 I don't have any beef with you. 921 00:49:13,538 --> 00:49:15,000 I just want to save my friends. 922 00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:16,545 I just... I want to go home. 923 00:49:16,570 --> 00:49:18,271 Well the thing is, I could get you home. 924 00:49:18,296 --> 00:49:19,035 Good. 925 00:49:19,060 --> 00:49:20,209 But I don't want to. 926 00:49:20,390 --> 00:49:21,691 Not good. 927 00:49:24,447 --> 00:49:25,982 What do you want... 928 00:49:26,007 --> 00:49:27,416 Wade Wilson? 929 00:49:27,776 --> 00:49:30,805 Your fingers are inside me, but not in a good way. 930 00:49:30,830 --> 00:49:33,923 My brother could enter one's mind with a thought. 931 00:49:34,038 --> 00:49:36,759 I have to get my hands dirty. 932 00:49:39,005 --> 00:49:41,005 I've got you. 933 00:49:42,796 --> 00:49:44,796 I've got you. 934 00:49:51,331 --> 00:49:53,331 I am right here. 935 00:49:53,356 --> 00:49:54,537 No, you're not. 936 00:49:54,562 --> 00:49:55,296 I can... 937 00:49:55,321 --> 00:49:56,406 I'm right here. 938 00:49:56,451 --> 00:49:57,451 Then show me. 939 00:49:57,476 --> 00:49:59,344 You got to do something. 940 00:49:59,789 --> 00:50:01,367 Show you what? 941 00:50:01,531 --> 00:50:04,437 Show me you care about something bigger than you. 942 00:50:05,125 --> 00:50:09,000 Ever since they turned you down, you took a knee. 943 00:50:09,827 --> 00:50:11,827 Baby, you never got back up. 944 00:50:13,022 --> 00:50:15,289 I know you're going through something. 945 00:50:15,343 --> 00:50:17,384 Let me go through it with you. 946 00:50:18,523 --> 00:50:20,770 Your crazy matches my crazy. 947 00:50:23,047 --> 00:50:24,890 Where did you go? 948 00:50:25,569 --> 00:50:27,569 Oh, my God. 949 00:50:29,679 --> 00:50:31,679 You just say it, okay? 950 00:50:32,821 --> 00:50:33,890 Say I don't want you. 951 00:50:33,915 --> 00:50:35,181 I don't want to be with you. 952 00:50:35,975 --> 00:50:36,975 Go ahead and say it. 953 00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:38,000 Say it. 954 00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:39,000 You don't want to be with me. 955 00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:39,859 Tell me that. 956 00:50:39,884 --> 00:50:40,838 I'll walk away. 957 00:50:40,863 --> 00:50:42,049 Say I don't want you. 958 00:50:48,812 --> 00:50:51,812 You'll never fucking matter. 959 00:50:55,000 --> 00:50:56,117 What? 960 00:50:57,000 --> 00:50:59,859 You'll never fucking matter. 961 00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:07,359 You'll... 962 00:51:08,405 --> 00:51:09,951 never... 963 00:51:10,616 --> 00:51:13,484 fucking matter. 964 00:51:16,773 --> 00:51:18,000 She never said that. 965 00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:18,750 No. 966 00:51:18,775 --> 00:51:20,882 But I bet she thought it. 967 00:51:22,898 --> 00:51:24,710 You are so mean. 968 00:51:24,735 --> 00:51:27,452 My brain can taste your fingers and they tasted like hate. 969 00:51:27,671 --> 00:51:30,384 And where in God's name is the intimacy coordinator? 970 00:51:30,409 --> 00:51:32,447 You're so lost, Mr. Wilson. 971 00:51:33,467 --> 00:51:35,824 Long before you came here. 972 00:51:37,298 --> 00:51:38,298 This is baby knife. 973 00:51:38,323 --> 00:51:39,803 She's gonna fuck you in the face now. 974 00:51:39,828 --> 00:51:40,834 If you want to kill me, 975 00:51:40,859 --> 00:51:42,740 it's going to take more than a little blade. 976 00:51:42,765 --> 00:51:43,765 How about six? 977 00:51:45,527 --> 00:51:47,655 My boy's wicked strong! 978 00:51:48,091 --> 00:51:49,600 That's my big boy. 979 00:51:49,679 --> 00:51:51,452 Yes, you are. 980 00:52:26,750 --> 00:52:28,608 Well, this has been fun. 981 00:52:28,633 --> 00:52:31,195 But the big guy needs to eat and the rent is due. 982 00:52:34,124 --> 00:52:36,538 By the way, you're the rent. 983 00:52:57,526 --> 00:52:58,526 Fuck! 984 00:52:58,551 --> 00:52:59,797 You coming or what? 985 00:52:59,822 --> 00:53:00,822 Coming! 986 00:53:20,280 --> 00:53:21,286 Whatcha thinking about? 987 00:53:21,311 --> 00:53:22,552 Get the fuck off of me. 988 00:53:22,577 --> 00:53:24,005 Shh... Almost done. 989 00:53:24,030 --> 00:53:25,169 Almost done what? 990 00:53:25,194 --> 00:53:27,000 Getting my knife out of your buttocks. 991 00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:28,328 - Pervert! - Fuck! 992 00:53:28,820 --> 00:53:30,772 Get your mind out of my pants. 993 00:53:30,797 --> 00:53:32,615 - I'm telling Blake. - New rules. 994 00:53:32,640 --> 00:53:34,000 I talk now. 995 00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:35,459 That's gonna be very hard on the audience. 996 00:53:35,484 --> 00:53:37,396 Shut the fuck up! 997 00:53:37,421 --> 00:53:39,269 Let me fucking think. 998 00:53:39,374 --> 00:53:41,964 We got to get back to Paradox, right? 999 00:53:43,124 --> 00:53:44,167 Right? 1000 00:53:44,667 --> 00:53:45,744 Suis excused? 1001 00:53:45,769 --> 00:53:47,000 Am I allowed to speak now? 1002 00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:49,167 Just nod, asshole. 1003 00:53:50,484 --> 00:53:51,484 Right. 1004 00:53:51,565 --> 00:53:52,816 Then we find the others that poor kid Johnny 1005 00:53:52,840 --> 00:53:54,710 was talking about before you got him killed. 1006 00:53:54,750 --> 00:53:56,481 "Poor kid." He's like 50. 1007 00:53:56,527 --> 00:53:59,000 If there's a chance they know how to get out of here, we find them. 1008 00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:02,441 Make those TVA fuckers fix my shit like you fucking promised. 1009 00:54:02,640 --> 00:54:04,356 I smell a quest. 1010 00:54:06,338 --> 00:54:07,637 I smell food. 1011 00:54:10,750 --> 00:54:14,195 So, what made you finally wear an honest-to-God costume? 1012 00:54:15,702 --> 00:54:17,803 Mine's red so they can't see me bleed. 1013 00:54:17,828 --> 00:54:20,387 But I can see how yellow would be useful, too. 1014 00:54:20,412 --> 00:54:22,264 Have you been checked for ADHD? 1015 00:54:22,289 --> 00:54:23,289 Mm-hmm. 1016 00:54:23,592 --> 00:54:27,967 But I've had several STDs which were probably caused by ADHD. 1017 00:54:29,747 --> 00:54:31,303 What are you looking for? 1018 00:54:31,357 --> 00:54:33,000 Oh, fuck. 1019 00:54:33,740 --> 00:54:35,837 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's rubbing alcohol. 1020 00:54:35,862 --> 00:54:37,744 You don't want to drink... Oh, yeah, there you go. 1021 00:54:37,769 --> 00:54:39,143 Fuck that liver. 1022 00:54:39,970 --> 00:54:42,252 Good? Okay. 1023 00:54:42,916 --> 00:54:44,516 What the fuck are those? 1024 00:54:44,549 --> 00:54:45,549 Oh. 1025 00:54:45,574 --> 00:54:48,714 Back in civilian life, I wear a toupee but nobody knows. 1026 00:54:51,425 --> 00:54:53,464 Everybody knows. 1027 00:54:55,635 --> 00:54:59,000 Want to talk about what's haunting you or should we wait for a third act flashback? 1028 00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:01,000 Uh, go fuck yourself. 1029 00:55:04,546 --> 00:55:11,882 You know, in my world you were, well-regarded. 1030 00:55:12,209 --> 00:55:13,882 Yeah, well, not on mine. 1031 00:55:14,335 --> 00:55:17,328 - They don't like me much in mine either. - You don't say. 1032 00:55:17,429 --> 00:55:19,650 I wanted to be something, you know. 1033 00:55:20,301 --> 00:55:22,000 Shit, I wanted to be an Avenger. 1034 00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:24,399 - Fuck the Avengers. - Yeah. 1035 00:55:24,424 --> 00:55:27,152 I didn't make the cut though, same with the X-Men. 1036 00:55:28,406 --> 00:55:30,000 My girlfriend left me and I just- 1037 00:55:30,000 --> 00:55:31,451 You got a girlfriend? 1038 00:55:31,476 --> 00:55:32,476 Yeah. 1039 00:55:32,671 --> 00:55:36,139 Vanessa. When we met, she was a dancer. 1040 00:55:36,770 --> 00:55:38,770 We made a whole life. 1041 00:55:38,795 --> 00:55:40,795 It was good. 1042 00:55:40,820 --> 00:55:42,820 But, oh boy, I just- 1043 00:55:44,071 --> 00:55:45,969 fucked that right up. 1044 00:55:46,580 --> 00:55:47,922 But you? 1045 00:55:47,947 --> 00:55:49,141 You were an X-Man. 1046 00:55:49,173 --> 00:55:51,321 Fuck that, you were the X-Man. 1047 00:55:52,975 --> 00:55:54,574 The Wolverine. 1048 00:55:56,446 --> 00:55:58,595 He was a hero in my world. 1049 00:55:59,837 --> 00:56:03,775 Yeah, well, he ain't shit in mine. 1050 00:56:08,646 --> 00:56:11,496 You said Logan was a hero. What happened? 1051 00:56:11,778 --> 00:56:13,389 He died. 1052 00:56:13,414 --> 00:56:14,414 How? 1053 00:56:14,945 --> 00:56:18,334 Technically you were chest-fucked by a tree, but really, 1054 00:56:18,359 --> 00:56:20,646 you just ran out of battery just trying save someone. 1055 00:56:20,671 --> 00:56:21,671 Who? 1056 00:56:21,812 --> 00:56:27,320 The shitheels that grew her in a lab called her X-23, but she was just a kid. 1057 00:56:27,523 --> 00:56:30,773 A younger, daintier, somehow meaner version of you. 1058 00:56:31,023 --> 00:56:32,795 You died trying to save her. 1059 00:56:32,820 --> 00:56:34,093 It was beautiful. 1060 00:56:34,398 --> 00:56:37,202 Look, mijo, I know you're hurt. 1061 00:56:37,273 --> 00:56:39,987 My blind elderly African-American roommate, Blind 1062 00:56:40,011 --> 00:56:42,725 Al, always says that pain teaches us who we are. 1063 00:56:42,750 --> 00:56:45,620 Sometimes we need to listen to that pain instead of running from it. 1064 00:56:45,645 --> 00:56:46,645 Holy shit. 1065 00:56:46,670 --> 00:56:49,670 That's her name? You call her "Blind Al?" 1066 00:56:49,695 --> 00:56:51,304 Oh, she's Black. 1067 00:57:27,553 --> 00:57:28,661 Look at you! 1068 00:57:28,686 --> 00:57:30,000 She's coming with us! 1069 00:57:30,000 --> 00:57:31,459 - No, she's not. - Oh, yes. She is. 1070 00:57:31,484 --> 00:57:33,000 - Fuck, no. - Oh, yes. 1071 00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:34,000 Sorry. 1072 00:57:34,000 --> 00:57:36,000 Sorry about that. 1073 00:57:36,000 --> 00:57:37,921 Come here, girl. 1074 00:57:38,179 --> 00:57:39,179 Who are you? 1075 00:57:39,368 --> 00:57:40,550 I'm Deadpool. 1076 00:57:40,636 --> 00:57:42,377 And I guess you're Deadpool, too. 1077 00:57:42,486 --> 00:57:44,505 But in here everybody calls me Nicepool. Oh my 1078 00:57:44,529 --> 00:57:47,257 goodness. Wait till you see Ladypool. She is gorgeous. 1079 00:57:47,282 --> 00:57:49,386 She just had a baby, too. 1080 00:57:49,570 --> 00:57:50,695 Can't even tell. 1081 00:57:50,781 --> 00:57:52,156 I don't think you're supposed to say that. 1082 00:57:52,226 --> 00:57:53,320 That's okay. 1083 00:57:53,617 --> 00:57:55,000 I identify as a feminist. 1084 00:57:55,000 --> 00:57:56,000 Right. 1085 00:57:58,051 --> 00:58:01,399 Are those gold-plated 50-caliber desert-eagle-pistoleros? 1086 00:58:01,424 --> 00:58:02,493 Of course! 1087 00:58:02,863 --> 00:58:03,941 To match my earhuggy. 1088 00:58:04,037 --> 00:58:05,087 Can I have them? 1089 00:58:05,890 --> 00:58:07,271 Over my dead body. 1090 00:58:07,296 --> 00:58:08,560 You are fun. 1091 00:58:08,585 --> 00:58:12,653 And I guess you've already met Mary Puppins, aka Dogpool. 1092 00:58:12,678 --> 00:58:13,851 Careful where you put your hand. 1093 00:58:13,876 --> 00:58:16,625 She's 90% G-spot, and she'll let you know it. 1094 00:58:16,717 --> 00:58:19,356 You let this little flirt out of your sight for 1095 00:58:19,381 --> 00:58:22,420 one second, and she starts shopping for a new papa. 1096 00:58:22,796 --> 00:58:26,867 If you can't be a responsible pet owner, then maybe you don't deserve this little unicorn. 1097 00:58:27,347 --> 00:58:29,560 Guilty on all charges, your honor. 1098 00:58:29,585 --> 00:58:30,690 It shan't happen again. 1099 00:58:30,715 --> 00:58:31,926 Why are you so nice? 1100 00:58:31,951 --> 00:58:33,545 It costs nothing to be kind. 1101 00:58:33,570 --> 00:58:35,132 Shutting the fuck up is also free. 1102 00:58:35,157 --> 00:58:36,000 Caliente. 1103 00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:37,000 This is Logan. 1104 00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:40,000 He's usually shirtless, but he's let himself go since the divorce. 1105 00:58:41,380 --> 00:58:42,755 Where is your mask? 1106 00:58:45,000 --> 00:58:46,484 Come on, guys. 1107 00:58:47,234 --> 00:58:48,857 Ugh, this guy. 1108 00:58:48,882 --> 00:58:50,560 We're looking for a group of survivors. 1109 00:58:50,592 --> 00:58:51,540 Oh, they're out there. 1110 00:58:51,565 --> 00:58:54,850 Yeah, but merc to merc, you better hope that you don't run into the Deadpool Corps. 1111 00:58:54,875 --> 00:58:55,843 They are crazy. 1112 00:58:55,868 --> 00:58:59,171 They will chop you up into a thousand pieces and hide you all over the Void. 1113 00:58:59,196 --> 00:59:00,890 If they could only process their childhood trauma, 1114 00:59:00,915 --> 00:59:02,510 they'd go on one heck of a healing journey. 1115 00:59:02,535 --> 00:59:04,020 Look, we're headed for the borderlands. 1116 00:59:04,045 --> 00:59:05,088 Do you know where it is? 1117 00:59:05,418 --> 00:59:07,418 Yeah, that's 12 klicks. 1118 00:59:07,443 --> 00:59:08,443 Due west. 1119 00:59:08,468 --> 00:59:09,763 I can lend you my ride if you like. 1120 00:59:09,789 --> 00:59:11,350 It would be my honor. 1121 00:59:14,324 --> 00:59:15,676 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 1122 00:59:15,701 --> 00:59:16,701 Absolutely not. 1123 00:59:16,726 --> 00:59:17,550 Uh-uh. 1124 00:59:17,575 --> 00:59:18,575 What the? 1125 00:59:18,600 --> 00:59:19,842 - No, no. - Just get in the car. 1126 00:59:19,867 --> 00:59:21,095 This isn't a car. 1127 00:59:21,218 --> 00:59:23,362 This is a Honda fuckin' Odyssey. 1128 00:59:23,387 --> 00:59:25,387 Throttle response sucks a cock, 1129 00:59:25,412 --> 00:59:26,545 dated infotainment system. 1130 00:59:26,570 --> 00:59:28,907 When Honda saw that untreated chlamydia was making a 1131 00:59:28,932 --> 00:59:32,471 comeback, they invented the Honda Odyssey to compete. 1132 00:59:32,603 --> 00:59:35,317 Get in the fucking car. 1133 00:59:35,342 --> 00:59:37,342 She'll get you there safe and sound. 1134 00:59:37,367 --> 00:59:39,367 Old Betsy always does. 1135 00:59:39,515 --> 00:59:41,827 You're gonna have to give me my dog back, though. 1136 00:59:41,852 --> 00:59:42,852 I know. 1137 00:59:42,914 --> 00:59:44,784 Listen. Yes, child. 1138 00:59:44,809 --> 00:59:47,198 If you ever wanna give her up, or she needs a new home or 1139 00:59:47,223 --> 00:59:50,613 if something should happen to you, I'd love to be her papa. 1140 00:59:50,922 --> 00:59:52,687 What would ever happen to me? 1141 00:59:52,780 --> 00:59:54,477 Lots of stuff. 1142 00:59:57,874 --> 00:59:59,874 No, we're running away. 1143 01:00:01,085 --> 01:00:02,906 The corn was too dense, girl. 1144 01:00:03,163 --> 01:00:04,163 Fuck. 1145 01:00:07,000 --> 01:00:08,000 Bye. 1146 01:00:32,953 --> 01:00:34,271 Okay, I'm just gonna ask. 1147 01:00:34,296 --> 01:00:35,701 What's with the suit? 1148 01:00:35,726 --> 01:00:38,000 First thing I did when I flamed out, I took mine off. 1149 01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:38,835 Drop it. 1150 01:00:38,860 --> 01:00:39,703 It's not that ugly. 1151 01:00:39,728 --> 01:00:40,868 Stop talking about my suit. 1152 01:00:40,893 --> 01:00:42,000 Did you make it Yourself? Been there. 1153 01:00:42,000 --> 01:00:43,000 Quit. Now. 1154 01:00:43,000 --> 01:00:44,155 The X-Men make you wear it? 1155 01:00:44,180 --> 01:00:46,000 Those sons of fuckin' bitches. 1156 01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:47,000 They are not your friends. 1157 01:00:47,000 --> 01:00:47,831 I'll tell you that. 1158 01:00:47,856 --> 01:00:49,916 Friends don't let friends leave the house looking 1159 01:00:49,940 --> 01:00:52,000 like they fight crime for the Los Angeles Rams. 1160 01:00:52,000 --> 01:00:53,000 Shut the fuck up about the suit. 1161 01:00:53,000 --> 01:00:54,000 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 1162 01:00:54,000 --> 01:00:55,228 Watch your frown lines, Angel Baby. 1163 01:00:55,253 --> 01:00:56,431 I'm just trying to bond a little bit. 1164 01:00:56,456 --> 01:00:57,975 Well then, talk about something else. 1165 01:00:58,000 --> 01:00:59,034 Fine. 1166 01:01:05,734 --> 01:01:06,812 Stop it. 1167 01:01:08,508 --> 01:01:09,904 If they can fix your world, what's the first 1168 01:01:09,929 --> 01:01:11,357 thing you're gonna do when you get out of here? 1169 01:01:11,382 --> 01:01:14,169 Is it rubbing alcohol shots, maybe a wiper fluid chaser? 1170 01:01:14,194 --> 01:01:15,397 What did you say? 1171 01:01:15,483 --> 01:01:17,374 Said when you get back, what's the first thing you're going to do? 1172 01:01:17,399 --> 01:01:18,909 No, no. Before that. 1173 01:01:19,937 --> 01:01:21,986 If they can fix your world? 1174 01:01:25,494 --> 01:01:28,000 - What do you mean if? - I mean... 1175 01:01:28,000 --> 01:01:29,000 You lied to me. 1176 01:01:29,000 --> 01:01:31,390 You don't have a fucking clue if they can help me fix things, do you? 1177 01:01:31,415 --> 01:01:33,000 No, I mean- 1178 01:01:33,000 --> 01:01:34,210 Oh, fuck! 1179 01:01:34,781 --> 01:01:35,607 Fuck! 1180 01:01:35,632 --> 01:01:36,271 I didn't lie! 1181 01:01:36,296 --> 01:01:37,084 You lied! 1182 01:01:37,109 --> 01:01:39,260 No, I made an educated wish! 1183 01:01:40,354 --> 01:01:42,383 Because I need you. 1184 01:01:42,962 --> 01:01:45,046 This- this is why. 1185 01:01:45,117 --> 01:01:46,275 Right here. 1186 01:01:46,371 --> 01:01:48,296 Because if we don't do something, they die. 1187 01:01:48,637 --> 01:01:50,851 I don't know anything about saving worlds. 1188 01:01:50,876 --> 01:01:52,682 And why would I even care? 1189 01:01:52,707 --> 01:01:55,801 Because my entire world is right here in this picture. 1190 01:01:55,895 --> 01:01:57,912 It's only nine people. 1191 01:01:57,937 --> 01:02:00,620 And I have no idea how to save it alone. 1192 01:02:00,948 --> 01:02:05,448 I know how to fuck people up for money, but you- you know how to save them. 1193 01:02:06,301 --> 01:02:07,964 At least, the other Wolverine did. 1194 01:02:09,200 --> 01:02:11,534 I guess I'm stuck with the worst one. 1195 01:02:11,559 --> 01:02:17,066 Did you say you made an educated fucking wish? 1196 01:02:17,137 --> 01:02:19,379 They call me the Merc with a Mouth. 1197 01:02:19,539 --> 01:02:24,113 They don't call me Truthful Timmy, the Blowjob Queen of Saskatoon. 1198 01:02:27,093 --> 01:02:28,456 One more word. 1199 01:02:29,229 --> 01:02:31,117 Please give me one. 1200 01:02:34,296 --> 01:02:35,718 Gubernatorial. 1201 01:02:38,624 --> 01:02:41,021 You know what? You're a fucking joke. 1202 01:02:41,643 --> 01:02:43,460 No wonder the Avengers didn't take you. 1203 01:02:43,485 --> 01:02:45,622 Or the X-Men. Fuck it, anyone. 1204 01:02:45,647 --> 01:02:47,380 I mean, you are... 1205 01:02:47,405 --> 01:02:51,606 A ridiculous, immature, halfwit moron. 1206 01:02:51,704 --> 01:02:54,921 I have never met a sadder, 1207 01:02:54,946 --> 01:02:57,428 a more attention-starved, jabbering little prick, 1208 01:02:57,453 --> 01:03:01,023 in my entire life. And that says a lot, because I've been alive 1209 01:03:01,078 --> 01:03:03,420 for more than 200 fucking years. 1210 01:03:03,445 --> 01:03:04,654 And I'll tell you. 1211 01:03:04,679 --> 01:03:06,687 That bald chick was right about one thing. 1212 01:03:06,750 --> 01:03:09,000 You will never save the world. 1213 01:03:09,134 --> 01:03:13,421 You couldn't even save a relationship with a goddamn stripper. 1214 01:03:13,446 --> 01:03:16,296 And motherfucker, I wish I could say you'd die alone. 1215 01:03:16,321 --> 01:03:19,350 But it's one of God's best jokes that you can't die, 1216 01:03:19,375 --> 01:03:21,796 except it's on all of us! 1217 01:03:25,225 --> 01:03:27,959 What, you got nothing to say, Mouth? 1218 01:03:36,267 --> 01:03:38,048 I'm gonna fight you now. 1219 01:03:39,766 --> 01:03:41,139 Oh, are you? 1220 01:03:52,000 --> 01:03:54,000 Not talking now, are you? 1221 01:04:00,000 --> 01:04:01,828 You dirty bitch! 1222 01:04:33,742 --> 01:04:35,250 No, no, no! 1223 01:04:35,398 --> 01:04:37,000 Ah! 1224 01:04:58,716 --> 01:05:01,875 I take it all back, the Honda Odyssey fucks hard. 1225 01:05:02,000 --> 01:05:05,137 - Too bad you don't, needledick. - Oh, we're just getting started, Bub. 1226 01:06:02,687 --> 01:06:04,085 Thor! 1227 01:06:07,062 --> 01:06:08,163 Where are we? 1228 01:06:08,304 --> 01:06:10,681 No clue, but I like it here. 1229 01:07:09,156 --> 01:07:13,815 Okay, look at you all. You must be the others. 1230 01:07:14,581 --> 01:07:19,000 Terrific. So, just to refresh, you are Wonder... 1231 01:07:19,000 --> 01:07:22,000 - Elektra. - Elektra. Yes. 1232 01:07:22,443 --> 01:07:28,159 And you. I was not expecting to see you here. I thought you were, you know, retired. 1233 01:07:28,808 --> 01:07:31,000 Retarded? 1234 01:07:31,000 --> 01:07:35,000 Retired. I'm already in the Void. I'm not trying to get cancelled again. 1235 01:07:35,000 --> 01:07:37,667 - I don't like you. - You never did. 1236 01:07:38,000 --> 01:07:42,000 And who is this succulent reminder of my own inadequacies? 1237 01:07:42,000 --> 01:07:46,348 Look at you. You look like the superhero version of Hawkeye. 1238 01:07:46,684 --> 01:07:50,027 The name's Remy LeBeau. Le Diable Blanc. 1239 01:07:50,098 --> 01:07:51,596 But you can call me the Gambit. 1240 01:07:51,621 --> 01:07:54,308 It's been a while since I've seen Sling Blade. Hit me again. 1241 01:07:54,972 --> 01:07:56,244 They call me the Gambit. 1242 01:07:56,269 --> 01:07:57,964 Do they? You're sure you didn't just really, 1243 01:07:57,989 --> 01:08:00,636 really want them to, but it never quite worked out? 1244 01:08:02,616 --> 01:08:05,201 You know, we never had a Wolverine up in here. 1245 01:08:05,522 --> 01:08:07,936 But I can tell you now, it's just common courtesy 1246 01:08:07,961 --> 01:08:10,689 to ask before you drink up all of my liquor. 1247 01:08:11,016 --> 01:08:13,040 Well it's a good thing I don't give a fuck. 1248 01:08:19,952 --> 01:08:21,648 So embarassing. 1249 01:08:23,000 --> 01:08:26,000 Now that that's settled... Look, we came a long way to find you three. 1250 01:08:26,000 --> 01:08:28,000 - There's four of us. - There's four? 1251 01:08:28,000 --> 01:08:29,394 Wait, is it Magneto? 1252 01:08:29,558 --> 01:08:31,839 Dear sweet God in heaven, let it be Magneto. 1253 01:08:31,864 --> 01:08:32,409 Because with him... 1254 01:08:32,465 --> 01:08:33,651 - He's dead. - Fuck! 1255 01:08:33,815 --> 01:08:37,000 Now Disney gets cheap? It's like Pinocchio jammed his face in my ass and started 1256 01:08:37,025 --> 01:08:38,792 lying like crazy. 1257 01:08:38,899 --> 01:08:41,000 You nasty. 1258 01:08:41,761 --> 01:08:44,140 Not a single word. What do you do... exactly? 1259 01:08:44,500 --> 01:08:46,000 Throw playing cards. 1260 01:08:46,000 --> 01:08:47,298 Make them go boom. 1261 01:08:47,323 --> 01:08:49,023 Your power is close up magic. That's good. 1262 01:08:49,148 --> 01:08:51,000 We're not totally fucked at all. 1263 01:08:51,000 --> 01:08:52,461 Who brought us here? 1264 01:08:52,640 --> 01:08:54,156 That would be me. 1265 01:09:03,616 --> 01:09:05,498 Don't make me regret it. 1266 01:09:06,920 --> 01:09:07,920 Holy shit. 1267 01:09:07,945 --> 01:09:09,945 Logan, that's her. That's X-23. 1268 01:09:10,000 --> 01:09:12,000 She's the one I told you about. 1269 01:09:16,000 --> 01:09:18,313 How did you all get stuck in the Void? 1270 01:09:18,338 --> 01:09:21,000 There was a knock at the door. TVA sent me here. 1271 01:09:21,000 --> 01:09:22,000 Me, too. 1272 01:09:22,000 --> 01:09:24,439 Maybe I was born here. Shit it's hard to know for sure. 1273 01:09:24,464 --> 01:09:27,359 TVA decided our universe was dying. 1274 01:09:27,734 --> 01:09:30,321 And I never even got a chance to fight for it. 1275 01:09:32,498 --> 01:09:34,498 People like us don't go quietly. 1276 01:09:34,523 --> 01:09:36,790 TVA knows that, so they took us out. 1277 01:09:37,321 --> 01:09:39,415 The answer is yes. I'm in. 1278 01:09:39,446 --> 01:09:40,453 In what? 1279 01:09:40,478 --> 01:09:43,273 A team. Me, you, you and me, all of us, together. 1280 01:09:43,328 --> 01:09:45,000 Let's get the fuck out of this place. 1281 01:09:45,000 --> 01:09:47,000 Don't listen to him. He's a fucking liar. 1282 01:09:47,000 --> 01:09:48,734 It was an educated wish! 1283 01:09:49,452 --> 01:09:50,452 Look... 1284 01:09:51,000 --> 01:09:53,000 We have been inside Cassandra's lair. 1285 01:09:53,000 --> 01:09:56,000 The only way out of the Void is through her. 1286 01:09:56,000 --> 01:09:57,352 She can get us home. 1287 01:09:57,377 --> 01:09:58,377 She told us. 1288 01:09:58,402 --> 01:10:00,000 Wait a minute, you've been inside? 1289 01:10:00,000 --> 01:10:01,323 And you made it out alive? 1290 01:10:01,348 --> 01:10:03,143 Bullshit. Nobody's ever done that. 1291 01:10:03,168 --> 01:10:04,000 We did. 1292 01:10:04,000 --> 01:10:07,706 Everytime one of us has gone up against her, they die. 1293 01:10:07,731 --> 01:10:10,729 The Punisher, the Quicksilver, the Daredevil... 1294 01:10:10,754 --> 01:10:12,240 Daredevil, I'm so sorry. 1295 01:10:12,265 --> 01:10:13,558 - It's fine. - Okay. 1296 01:10:15,548 --> 01:10:18,540 Even our sweet baby angel, Johnny Storm... 1297 01:10:18,657 --> 01:10:21,923 He up and gone missing like two days ago. 1298 01:10:22,008 --> 01:10:24,556 That's so sad. 1299 01:10:24,656 --> 01:10:28,100 Wherever this Johnny fella is, I'm sure he's thriving. 1300 01:10:28,125 --> 01:10:30,452 Look, there's... there's strength in numbers. 1301 01:10:30,477 --> 01:10:31,000 All right? 1302 01:10:31,000 --> 01:10:33,000 Us, plus you guys. We can put 1303 01:10:33,000 --> 01:10:36,000 Cassandra over our knee and force her to let us out of the Void. 1304 01:10:36,000 --> 01:10:37,334 I know what it means to feel self-doubt. 1305 01:10:37,359 --> 01:10:38,552 I don't feel that at all. 1306 01:10:38,577 --> 01:10:39,154 I'm good. 1307 01:10:39,179 --> 01:10:41,000 Gnawing at your gut like a coked up tapeworm? 1308 01:10:41,000 --> 01:10:43,000 It's like you're holding up a mirror to my soul. 1309 01:10:43,000 --> 01:10:45,000 You guys may not have been able to save your universes, 1310 01:10:45,000 --> 01:10:47,197 but you can avenge them. 1311 01:10:47,648 --> 01:10:49,279 It's what Johnny would've wanted. 1312 01:10:49,304 --> 01:10:50,304 Wait. 1313 01:10:50,741 --> 01:10:52,741 You knew Johnny? 1314 01:10:52,978 --> 01:10:54,000 Oh, yeah. 1315 01:10:54,000 --> 01:10:56,000 Dickhead here talked him into a team-up, 1316 01:10:56,000 --> 01:10:58,533 and Johnny came down with a little case of the deads. 1317 01:10:58,558 --> 01:10:59,126 No, no, no. 1318 01:10:59,151 --> 01:11:00,000 We don't know that. 1319 01:11:00,000 --> 01:11:01,353 It was just a flesh wound. 1320 01:11:01,378 --> 01:11:02,306 He may have survived. 1321 01:11:02,331 --> 01:11:05,000 If he survived that, he is praying for death. 1322 01:11:05,000 --> 01:11:07,000 Thank you, Dr. Wolverine. 1323 01:11:07,000 --> 01:11:07,753 Spill it. 1324 01:11:07,778 --> 01:11:09,000 What did you do to Johnny, huh? 1325 01:11:09,000 --> 01:11:10,265 Talk or I'm gonna start dealin'. 1326 01:11:10,290 --> 01:11:11,000 Okay. 1327 01:11:11,000 --> 01:11:12,000 Okay,. Hey, hey, hey. 1328 01:11:12,000 --> 01:11:13,000 Look. 1329 01:11:13,000 --> 01:11:15,593 He ran his fatass mouth about Cassandra. 1330 01:11:15,618 --> 01:11:18,664 Then she zipzapped his skin, leaving his organs to splash 1331 01:11:18,689 --> 01:11:21,319 crudely onto the ground while the soil greedily drank his blood. 1332 01:11:21,344 --> 01:11:22,514 It was horrible. 1333 01:11:22,539 --> 01:11:24,298 He was like a brother to me. 1334 01:11:24,478 --> 01:11:27,000 Look, he died before he could make a difference. 1335 01:11:27,000 --> 01:11:32,656 But... Look, maybe you can't save your worlds, but Jesus Christ, you can save mine. 1336 01:11:32,734 --> 01:11:37,156 I don't give a shit about your world, but if these two made it out of there alive... 1337 01:11:37,187 --> 01:11:40,000 Maybe together we can get back in and take her down. 1338 01:11:40,000 --> 01:11:41,393 Where I come from, 1339 01:11:41,510 --> 01:11:43,000 we call that suicide, Chere. 1340 01:11:43,000 --> 01:11:46,000 If we can block her psychic powers, we can get a leg up. 1341 01:11:46,000 --> 01:11:47,000 I know it. 1342 01:11:47,000 --> 01:11:49,934 Now, I know Magneto is dead, but I venture to guess 1343 01:11:49,959 --> 01:11:52,000 that his helmet is lying around here somewhere. 1344 01:11:52,031 --> 01:11:53,356 Cassandra melted the helmet. 1345 01:11:53,381 --> 01:11:54,000 Fuck! 1346 01:11:54,000 --> 01:11:55,000 After she killed him. 1347 01:11:55,000 --> 01:11:56,000 Fuck! 1348 01:11:56,000 --> 01:11:56,738 She don't play. 1349 01:11:56,762 --> 01:11:59,336 She knew the helmet was the only way to protect anyone from her powers. 1350 01:11:59,406 --> 01:12:02,738 The only other helmet that's strong enough is Juggernaut's, but he works for Cassandra. 1351 01:12:02,769 --> 01:12:04,000 Juggernaut's helmet, that's it. 1352 01:12:04,000 --> 01:12:07,459 And we know that ain't coming off. That dome gotta come off with it. 1353 01:12:07,484 --> 01:12:09,615 I'm so sorry, beautiful. I want this to be gentle. 1354 01:12:09,640 --> 01:12:11,139 Who is your dialect coach? 1355 01:12:11,164 --> 01:12:12,000 The Minions? 1356 01:12:12,000 --> 01:12:15,297 I feel like we're missing critical exposition here. 1357 01:12:16,147 --> 01:12:17,639 I'm sick of this shit. 1358 01:12:17,664 --> 01:12:19,212 I'm sick of hiding. 1359 01:12:20,033 --> 01:12:22,494 Let's face it. Our world's forgot about us. 1360 01:12:22,519 --> 01:12:24,361 Or never learned about us. 1361 01:12:24,398 --> 01:12:25,890 The heroes we were. 1362 01:12:25,915 --> 01:12:28,523 - Lives we saved. - Or wanted to save. 1363 01:12:28,796 --> 01:12:31,227 Maybe these two are our chance. 1364 01:12:31,859 --> 01:12:35,000 To be remembered the way we deserve. 1365 01:12:35,000 --> 01:12:36,000 Yes. 1366 01:12:36,000 --> 01:12:38,000 An ending. 1367 01:12:38,000 --> 01:12:39,000 Legacy. 1368 01:12:39,000 --> 01:12:40,000 Yes! 1369 01:12:40,000 --> 01:12:41,655 Let this man cook! 1370 01:12:41,694 --> 01:12:43,000 This is what I'm talking about! 1371 01:12:43,000 --> 01:12:46,000 Big, slow motion fights, sad music, everybody working together! 1372 01:12:46,000 --> 01:12:48,000 Who knows if you live or die, that sort of thing. 1373 01:12:48,000 --> 01:12:48,809 Who's ready? 1374 01:12:48,834 --> 01:12:50,000 I was born ready. 1375 01:12:50,000 --> 01:12:51,000 Yes, Gambit? 1376 01:12:51,000 --> 01:12:52,000 I ain't know my daddy. 1377 01:12:52,000 --> 01:12:54,000 But I'm sure I shot out of his dick ready. 1378 01:12:54,000 --> 01:12:56,000 Jesus Christ, that is graphic. 1379 01:12:56,000 --> 01:12:58,008 Yeah, he laid them buttery nuts all up in my Mom, 1380 01:12:58,040 --> 01:13:00,436 and I shot out there, and I said, what's up Doc? 1381 01:13:00,491 --> 01:13:02,406 I'm sure he must've loved you. 1382 01:13:02,437 --> 01:13:04,346 X-23, what's it gonna be? 1383 01:13:04,377 --> 01:13:06,000 The name's Laura. 1384 01:13:06,000 --> 01:13:07,219 Let's fucking go. 1385 01:13:07,244 --> 01:13:09,000 Let's fucking go! 1386 01:13:09,000 --> 01:13:11,000 1387 01:13:11,000 --> 01:13:12,000 We're doing this. 1388 01:13:12,000 --> 01:13:13,000 You're all fucking dead. 1389 01:13:13,000 --> 01:13:15,000 My God, read the room. 1390 01:13:26,118 --> 01:13:28,000 I... I'm not looking for company. 1391 01:13:28,000 --> 01:13:29,000 Get outta here. 1392 01:13:30,947 --> 01:13:34,314 You remind me of him. Angry. Drunk. Vain. 1393 01:13:34,396 --> 01:13:35,396 Sounds like a great guy. 1394 01:13:35,421 --> 01:13:36,619 Wasn't finished. 1395 01:13:38,283 --> 01:13:40,791 Showed up when it mattered the most. 1396 01:13:41,971 --> 01:13:43,665 Couldn't help it. 1397 01:13:47,330 --> 01:13:51,526 You might not know it, but you're a good man, Logan. 1398 01:13:52,878 --> 01:13:56,148 You might not know it, but apparently I'm the worst Logan. 1399 01:13:57,705 --> 01:14:00,190 I got to have a life because of you. 1400 01:14:02,167 --> 01:14:04,768 I got to grow up because of you. 1401 01:14:06,099 --> 01:14:07,755 A lot of kids did. 1402 01:14:08,052 --> 01:14:10,669 A lot of kids didn't grow up because of me. 1403 01:14:12,004 --> 01:14:13,785 Trust me kid, I'm no hero. 1404 01:14:14,835 --> 01:14:16,374 That suit says different. 1405 01:14:20,851 --> 01:14:23,000 Scott used to beg me to wear it. 1406 01:14:24,703 --> 01:14:25,812 So did Jean. 1407 01:14:26,000 --> 01:14:26,757 Storm. 1408 01:14:26,782 --> 01:14:27,782 Beast. 1409 01:14:29,374 --> 01:14:30,671 All of them. 1410 01:14:31,515 --> 01:14:34,280 They wanted me to be part of the team, but I wouldn't. 1411 01:14:35,348 --> 01:14:37,694 Told them they all looked fucking ridiculous. 1412 01:14:40,536 --> 01:14:43,482 I couldn't have them thinking I wanted to be there. 1413 01:14:48,660 --> 01:14:51,793 And then one day while I was off on my own, the humans came. 1414 01:14:52,421 --> 01:14:54,468 And went mutant hunting. 1415 01:14:55,022 --> 01:14:56,257 I can guess the rest. 1416 01:14:56,304 --> 01:14:57,617 No, no. 1417 01:14:58,851 --> 01:15:00,234 Let me say it. 1418 01:15:02,648 --> 01:15:04,359 I need to say it. 1419 01:15:06,507 --> 01:15:10,054 By the time I stumbled all shit- faced from the bar, it was too late. 1420 01:15:14,023 --> 01:15:16,046 They were dead. Every.... 1421 01:15:21,687 --> 01:15:25,078 This suit's all I got to remind me of who they were. 1422 01:15:26,179 --> 01:15:28,327 What I did. 1423 01:15:40,539 --> 01:15:42,523 We're headed to Cassandra's at sunup. 1424 01:15:43,031 --> 01:15:44,140 Have fun. 1425 01:15:44,165 --> 01:15:45,493 Not my fight. 1426 01:15:48,000 --> 01:15:50,148 We won't pull this off without you. 1427 01:15:56,851 --> 01:16:00,257 Hey, whoever you think I am, you got the wrong guy. 1428 01:16:02,881 --> 01:16:04,634 You were always the wrong guy. 1429 01:16:30,000 --> 01:16:31,000 What? 1430 01:16:31,000 --> 01:16:33,000 Alioth didn't get them. 1431 01:16:33,000 --> 01:16:36,000 Cassandra wanted to play with them herself first. 1432 01:16:36,000 --> 01:16:37,000 They got away. 1433 01:16:37,000 --> 01:16:38,000 Did they find the others? 1434 01:16:38,000 --> 01:16:38,796 No. 1435 01:16:38,821 --> 01:16:40,000 Good. All right, cool. 1436 01:16:40,000 --> 01:16:41,000 The others found them. 1437 01:16:41,000 --> 01:16:42,000 Oh, very cute. 1438 01:16:42,000 --> 01:16:43,000 Well done, Pyro. 1439 01:16:43,000 --> 01:16:43,858 Classic bait and switch. 1440 01:16:43,883 --> 01:16:44,733 You really got me there. 1441 01:16:44,758 --> 01:16:45,758 Relax. 1442 01:16:46,000 --> 01:16:47,781 If they come after Nova, 1443 01:16:47,806 --> 01:16:48,664 she'll handle it. 1444 01:16:48,689 --> 01:16:50,689 Cassandra is a lunatic wild card. 1445 01:16:50,714 --> 01:16:52,929 Why do you think we put her there in the first place? 1446 01:16:53,000 --> 01:16:55,000 Thank God she's never chosen to leave the Void. 1447 01:16:55,000 --> 01:16:58,000 The time ripper is hours away from completion. 1448 01:16:58,000 --> 01:16:59,000 I can't take any chances. 1449 01:16:59,000 --> 01:17:00,000 Maybe not. 1450 01:17:00,000 --> 01:17:01,312 But I can... 1451 01:17:01,382 --> 01:17:02,343 For a price. 1452 01:17:02,429 --> 01:17:04,279 Why do you have to say it in that silly voice? 1453 01:17:04,304 --> 01:17:05,156 It's so icky. 1454 01:17:05,203 --> 01:17:06,615 Do you want it done or not? 1455 01:17:06,640 --> 01:17:08,522 All right. Your price. Take her out. 1456 01:17:09,453 --> 01:17:11,397 Oh, mutants. 1457 01:17:32,975 --> 01:17:33,975 Look at that there. 1458 01:17:34,000 --> 01:17:35,391 See, them bigger hands become closed, 1459 01:17:35,416 --> 01:17:37,000 ain't not one of us getting outside. 1460 01:17:37,000 --> 01:17:40,000 What Gambit's trying to say is getting Juggernaut's helmet 1461 01:17:40,000 --> 01:17:41,156 ain't gonna be easy. 1462 01:17:41,181 --> 01:17:42,704 I'm just making stuff up. 1463 01:17:42,729 --> 01:17:44,360 Yeah, tilt up to Blade. 1464 01:17:49,351 --> 01:17:50,898 Where did he get that little beauty? 1465 01:17:51,000 --> 01:17:52,000 That's Punisher's. 1466 01:17:52,000 --> 01:17:53,000 AT4. 1467 01:17:53,000 --> 01:17:55,350 Which Punisher? There's been like five of them? 1468 01:17:55,375 --> 01:17:59,460 There's only been one Blade. There's only ever gonna be one Blade. 1469 01:18:02,842 --> 01:18:04,694 Incoming! 1470 01:19:10,426 --> 01:19:12,220 Oh, this is gonna be good. 1471 01:19:12,533 --> 01:19:14,939 Do you know how long I've been waiting for this? 1472 01:19:14,964 --> 01:19:15,447 Woo! 1473 01:19:15,503 --> 01:19:17,391 I'm about to make a name for myself here. 1474 01:19:17,470 --> 01:19:19,203 I don't think you guys walk away from this. 1475 01:19:19,228 --> 01:19:21,406 You just make sure people know what happened here today. 1476 01:19:21,431 --> 01:19:23,782 When you get out of here, you have a drink for me, yeah? 1477 01:19:23,807 --> 01:19:25,975 Just stay on our six then get inside. 1478 01:19:26,000 --> 01:19:28,213 We'll make sure you get the package. 1479 01:19:28,461 --> 01:19:30,432 And we'll get our ending. 1480 01:20:39,230 --> 01:20:40,230 Boom. 1481 01:21:10,813 --> 01:21:13,267 Some motherfuckers still trying to ice skate up here. 1482 01:21:19,961 --> 01:21:21,976 You two escaping, I could live with. 1483 01:21:22,100 --> 01:21:25,319 But coming back? Willingly? 1484 01:21:25,901 --> 01:21:28,143 Boys are so silly. 1485 01:21:28,221 --> 01:21:29,580 We just need to get home. 1486 01:21:29,616 --> 01:21:31,811 Well that's not on the menu, I'm afraid. 1487 01:21:31,926 --> 01:21:35,427 It's death, or enslavement. A la carte, of course. 1488 01:21:35,452 --> 01:21:36,537 Upsy-daisy! 1489 01:21:41,925 --> 01:21:42,925 Finally. 1490 01:21:42,981 --> 01:21:44,917 It's nice to give someone else a chance to talk. 1491 01:21:45,020 --> 01:21:46,410 Not my strong suit. 1492 01:22:04,257 --> 01:22:05,257 1493 01:22:24,760 --> 01:22:26,489 Adios, pendejo. 1494 01:22:28,298 --> 01:22:30,980 You are an interesting one, aren't you? 1495 01:22:31,393 --> 01:22:34,651 I do feel like you got lost behind all of his... 1496 01:22:34,706 --> 01:22:36,639 blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 1497 01:22:37,737 --> 01:22:40,307 Deadpools are a dime a dozen here in the Void. 1498 01:22:41,142 --> 01:22:42,518 But you? 1499 01:22:42,862 --> 01:22:45,000 What's going on... 1500 01:22:45,000 --> 01:22:46,493 here? 1501 01:22:59,171 --> 01:23:00,687 Interesting. 1502 01:23:01,326 --> 01:23:03,771 Not what I expected back there. 1503 01:23:04,047 --> 01:23:06,485 1504 01:23:09,553 --> 01:23:10,864 You're hiding. 1505 01:23:10,889 --> 01:23:12,046 From them. 1506 01:23:12,757 --> 01:23:14,859 From all the ones you let down. 1507 01:23:16,651 --> 01:23:18,526 So much pain. 1508 01:23:20,417 --> 01:23:22,249 I walked away. 1509 01:23:23,017 --> 01:23:26,134 They called after me and I walked away. 1510 01:23:26,977 --> 01:23:28,319 I always do. 1511 01:23:28,399 --> 01:23:29,662 I know. 1512 01:23:31,529 --> 01:23:33,162 That's not all you did... 1513 01:23:33,608 --> 01:23:34,922 is it? 1514 01:23:37,843 --> 01:23:39,476 You found them. 1515 01:23:39,913 --> 01:23:41,507 The X-Men. 1516 01:23:46,437 --> 01:23:47,640 Dead. 1517 01:23:49,788 --> 01:23:51,585 1518 01:23:52,679 --> 01:23:54,468 What did you do? 1519 01:23:56,662 --> 01:23:58,202 I started killing. 1520 01:23:58,484 --> 01:24:00,000 And I couldn't stop. 1521 01:24:00,000 --> 01:24:01,648 I didn't want to stop. 1522 01:24:02,335 --> 01:24:05,663 All those bad men. 1523 01:24:08,810 --> 01:24:10,937 It's not just the bad ones. 1524 01:24:11,903 --> 01:24:14,067 My little animal. 1525 01:24:15,945 --> 01:24:19,125 I turned the whole world against the X-Men. 1526 01:24:25,659 --> 01:24:27,011 Just once. 1527 01:24:28,636 --> 01:24:31,452 I wanna be the man that Charles thought I was. 1528 01:24:32,391 --> 01:24:33,602 Logan... 1529 01:24:35,000 --> 01:24:38,508 In the Void you can be all that you are. 1530 01:24:40,976 --> 01:24:42,745 I just want to be free. 1531 01:24:43,008 --> 01:24:44,956 I can set you free. 1532 01:24:56,043 --> 01:24:57,824 I can silence 1533 01:24:57,849 --> 01:25:00,849 all those voices. 1534 01:25:07,640 --> 01:25:09,276 I've got you. 1535 01:25:12,702 --> 01:25:14,000 No. 1536 01:25:15,000 --> 01:25:16,640 I got you. 1537 01:25:24,578 --> 01:25:27,734 - Get it off! - You're gonna send us home, 1538 01:25:27,857 --> 01:25:29,857 or I'm gonna twist your fucking head off. 1539 01:25:29,882 --> 01:25:31,497 Why are you laughing? 1540 01:25:31,522 --> 01:25:35,500 I can't send you home unless you get this thing off my head. 1541 01:25:35,790 --> 01:25:39,804 And as soon as you do that, I'm going to boil your brains on an atomic level whilst 1542 01:25:39,859 --> 01:25:42,687 flicking my bean to the Enya box set. 1543 01:25:42,734 --> 01:25:44,021 There's an Enya box set? 1544 01:25:44,046 --> 01:25:47,093 Either you kill me or I kill you. 1545 01:25:47,328 --> 01:25:49,240 Both wonderful options. 1546 01:25:49,304 --> 01:25:50,757 Do you want me to do it? 1547 01:25:50,782 --> 01:25:53,000 - No. I'll do it. - I have her neck right here. 1548 01:25:53,000 --> 01:25:54,000 It's really no problem. 1549 01:25:54,000 --> 01:25:55,000 You'll screw it up. 1550 01:25:55,000 --> 01:25:57,393 Oh, come on, Mr. PG-13 except the last one. 1551 01:25:57,773 --> 01:25:59,275 What the fuck? 1552 01:26:01,564 --> 01:26:03,970 You have no idea what it's like. 1553 01:26:04,164 --> 01:26:06,829 Day after day, shovel the shit. 1554 01:26:06,884 --> 01:26:08,411 Fetch the meats. 1555 01:26:08,436 --> 01:26:11,171 I have spent my entire existence--- 1556 01:26:13,117 --> 01:26:15,056 Not everyone gets a speech. 1557 01:26:16,595 --> 01:26:17,607 She's gonna die. 1558 01:26:17,632 --> 01:26:21,159 Okay. Hey, if I take this helmet off, do you promise you won't kill us? 1559 01:26:21,184 --> 01:26:22,184 I promise, 1560 01:26:22,209 --> 01:26:24,209 I will kill you first. 1561 01:26:24,234 --> 01:26:25,589 Why are you like this? 1562 01:26:25,614 --> 01:26:26,851 I wish I knew. 1563 01:26:26,906 --> 01:26:27,639 Take it off. 1564 01:26:27,664 --> 01:26:28,271 What? 1565 01:26:28,296 --> 01:26:28,796 Take it off. 1566 01:26:28,821 --> 01:26:29,975 - Why? - Just take it off. 1567 01:26:30,000 --> 01:26:31,425 This is our only chance to fix our shit. 1568 01:26:31,450 --> 01:26:32,684 Take it off! 1569 01:26:34,539 --> 01:26:36,445 I am wearing this suit. 1570 01:26:36,968 --> 01:26:42,000 And that means a lot of things, but most of all, it means I'm an X-Man. 1571 01:26:42,890 --> 01:26:44,836 And I know your brother. 1572 01:26:46,226 --> 01:26:50,680 As much as I wanna fucking kill, every bone in my body wants to fucking kill you, 1573 01:26:50,705 --> 01:26:53,822 he would not let me stand here and watch you die. 1574 01:26:55,828 --> 01:26:57,516 Take your hands off. 1575 01:26:58,546 --> 01:27:00,406 This is for him. 1576 01:27:01,866 --> 01:27:03,741 This is for Charles. 1577 01:27:14,544 --> 01:27:16,783 Don't you dare do me like Johnny. 1578 01:27:22,177 --> 01:27:23,919 My brother loved you. 1579 01:27:25,013 --> 01:27:26,647 He loved all of us. 1580 01:27:29,417 --> 01:27:30,826 Must be nice. 1581 01:27:31,348 --> 01:27:33,303 He would've loved you, too. 1582 01:27:35,257 --> 01:27:40,847 If he knew about you, if he knew where you were, he would have torn a hole 1583 01:27:40,872 --> 01:27:43,472 in the fucking universe to bring you home. 1584 01:27:47,023 --> 01:27:48,742 This is my home. 1585 01:27:49,061 --> 01:27:51,711 Then at least let us save his. 1586 01:27:55,257 --> 01:27:57,789 You want to hear something crazy? 1587 01:27:58,562 --> 01:28:02,093 An amateur magician rolled through here a while back. 1588 01:28:02,335 --> 01:28:04,257 I killed him, of course. 1589 01:28:04,508 --> 01:28:06,984 Wore his skin around for four days. 1590 01:28:07,812 --> 01:28:14,523 But I found this little trinket on his lovely fingers. 1591 01:28:14,609 --> 01:28:15,820 Strange. 1592 01:28:17,055 --> 01:28:18,055 Ooh. 1593 01:28:18,554 --> 01:28:20,453 Marvel's sparkle circle. 1594 01:28:20,478 --> 01:28:21,478 What's that? 1595 01:28:21,554 --> 01:28:23,654 This is your way home. 1596 01:28:23,679 --> 01:28:27,019 I do owe you for saving my life, but let's keep things interesting. 1597 01:28:27,044 --> 01:28:30,747 I'd say you have about four seconds before you're Alioth's food. 1598 01:28:34,906 --> 01:28:35,991 Race ya. 1599 01:30:00,000 --> 01:30:01,000 I will give him full warranty. 1600 01:30:01,000 --> 01:30:03,000 Glad you gave us a second chance. 1601 01:30:03,000 --> 01:30:04,526 And don't worry, Wade and I are a team. 1602 01:30:04,551 --> 01:30:06,000 So I'll see he gets after... 1603 01:30:08,746 --> 01:30:10,166 That feels like a... 1604 01:30:10,191 --> 01:30:11,226 Kia. 1605 01:30:11,297 --> 01:30:13,085 Fucking Kia Carnivals... 1606 01:30:15,000 --> 01:30:17,734 Holy shit, that's Deadpool. 1607 01:30:17,759 --> 01:30:20,641 - And that's Wolverine! - You're damn straight it is. Fox killed him. 1608 01:30:20,666 --> 01:30:22,000 Disney brought him back. 1609 01:30:22,000 --> 01:30:24,102 They're gonna make him do this 'till he's 90! 1610 01:30:24,414 --> 01:30:25,484 Let's go. 1611 01:30:26,000 --> 01:30:28,486 - I'll clock you out! - Forever. 1612 01:30:29,304 --> 01:30:30,471 Forever. 1613 01:30:37,429 --> 01:30:39,000 Wakey, wakey. 1614 01:30:39,000 --> 01:30:40,000 Yeah. 1615 01:30:41,539 --> 01:30:44,734 Now you put all these bullets in my belly. 1616 01:30:44,882 --> 01:30:46,882 And I'm gonna find out why. 1617 01:30:46,907 --> 01:30:48,125 Whoa, whoa! 1618 01:30:48,811 --> 01:30:50,210 I'll just say it! 1619 01:30:50,835 --> 01:30:52,732 You don't have to stick your fingers in me. 1620 01:30:52,820 --> 01:30:55,148 Jesus, just ask sometimes. 1621 01:30:55,413 --> 01:30:56,476 Fine. 1622 01:30:57,828 --> 01:30:58,956 Really? 1623 01:30:59,046 --> 01:31:00,597 Hands in pockets. 1624 01:31:01,859 --> 01:31:03,471 Guy named Paradox. 1625 01:31:03,714 --> 01:31:05,273 He said he'd get me out of the Void. 1626 01:31:05,298 --> 01:31:06,975 All I know is he works for the TVA. 1627 01:31:07,000 --> 01:31:08,000 The TVA? 1628 01:31:08,000 --> 01:31:09,678 We had an agreement. 1629 01:31:09,703 --> 01:31:11,703 I don't think this guy cares. 1630 01:31:12,413 --> 01:31:13,656 He will. 1631 01:31:14,000 --> 01:31:15,000 Report, all. 1632 01:31:15,000 --> 01:31:17,000 How much longer before the time ripper is active? 1633 01:31:17,000 --> 01:31:19,000 We're running the final safety checks. 1634 01:31:19,000 --> 01:31:20,000 Oh, okay. 1635 01:31:20,000 --> 01:31:22,334 Alright. Thanks for the hard work. Take your time. 1636 01:31:22,359 --> 01:31:23,154 Really? 1637 01:31:23,179 --> 01:31:24,619 No, you drooling boob! 1638 01:31:24,644 --> 01:31:27,178 No, we have company. Cancel the safety checks. 1639 01:31:27,203 --> 01:31:29,000 We need to be live, now. 1640 01:31:29,000 --> 01:31:30,938 Oh, it's taking so much! 1641 01:31:33,000 --> 01:31:34,498 No, stop. Piss off. 1642 01:31:34,523 --> 01:31:35,000 You're too late. 1643 01:31:35,000 --> 01:31:36,000 You're fucking done. 1644 01:31:36,000 --> 01:31:37,623 Why was Thor crying? 1645 01:31:37,648 --> 01:31:38,906 How dare you? 1646 01:31:38,931 --> 01:31:40,639 No one comes back from the Void. 1647 01:31:40,664 --> 01:31:42,390 Tell that to Cassandra Nova. 1648 01:31:51,000 --> 01:31:53,094 Paradox, we have a problem. 1649 01:31:55,772 --> 01:31:57,031 Paradox. 1650 01:31:59,429 --> 01:32:02,000 You are doughier than you looked in Pyro's head. 1651 01:32:02,000 --> 01:32:03,343 You tried to kill me. 1652 01:32:03,368 --> 01:32:04,850 I literally have no idea--- 1653 01:32:05,148 --> 01:32:06,600 You come for the King, 1654 01:32:06,625 --> 01:32:08,625 but couldn't kill, could you? 1655 01:32:09,597 --> 01:32:12,000 Welcome to the skull- fucked club, Paradox. 1656 01:32:12,025 --> 01:32:14,626 And you know she doesn't wash that hand. 1657 01:32:14,752 --> 01:32:15,417 Oh. 1658 01:32:15,970 --> 01:32:17,315 What is this? 1659 01:32:18,585 --> 01:32:19,585 A time ripper? 1660 01:32:19,639 --> 01:32:20,703 Naughty boy. 1661 01:32:20,732 --> 01:32:21,560 Oh, no, we're on it. 1662 01:32:21,585 --> 01:32:23,271 We're gonna head down and dismantle that thing now. 1663 01:32:23,296 --> 01:32:24,256 We got you, boo. 1664 01:32:24,281 --> 01:32:26,000 You just keep playing those keys. 1665 01:32:26,000 --> 01:32:28,000 I don't want to destroy it. 1666 01:32:28,025 --> 01:32:29,442 I want to use it. 1667 01:32:29,467 --> 01:32:30,467 Now, shoo. 1668 01:32:30,492 --> 01:32:32,592 Mummy and daddy are having a conversation. 1669 01:32:38,827 --> 01:32:40,708 You know, the funny thing is... 1670 01:32:40,733 --> 01:32:43,000 I was happy in the Void. 1671 01:32:43,000 --> 01:32:44,396 You sent your trash to me, 1672 01:32:44,421 --> 01:32:46,372 lied while I cleaned it up. 1673 01:32:46,397 --> 01:32:49,000 Everyone was happy. 1674 01:32:49,000 --> 01:32:52,000 Then you had to go and piss on my side of the fence. 1675 01:32:52,000 --> 01:32:55,000 So now the fence must come down. 1676 01:32:55,000 --> 01:32:57,000 I'm going to use your little time ripper, 1677 01:32:57,000 --> 01:32:59,000 and I'm going to destroy this universe, 1678 01:32:59,000 --> 01:33:02,000 and the next, and the next, and the next, 1679 01:33:02,000 --> 01:33:08,387 until all that's left is the Void. And I get to play God. 1680 01:33:08,645 --> 01:33:09,758 Come here. 1681 01:33:09,991 --> 01:33:12,800 Now, you're going to show me how to use this fancy gadget of yours. 1682 01:33:12,834 --> 01:33:13,834 And don't worry. 1683 01:33:13,859 --> 01:33:16,751 I called some friends to make sure we we're not disturbed. 1684 01:33:19,370 --> 01:33:20,460 Sorry to bother, Madam, 1685 01:33:20,495 --> 01:33:22,253 but there is something you need to see. 1686 01:33:22,464 --> 01:33:25,000 We're getting indications of an unsanctioned time ripper 1687 01:33:25,000 --> 01:33:27,710 activated on Earth-10005. 1688 01:33:29,000 --> 01:33:30,773 Whose district is that? 1689 01:33:30,945 --> 01:33:32,124 Paradox. 1690 01:33:43,000 --> 01:33:45,000 Thank you so much for your help, darling. 1691 01:33:45,365 --> 01:33:48,154 God, good to get out of that head. 1692 01:33:48,179 --> 01:33:49,812 What a mess. 1693 01:33:57,000 --> 01:33:58,000 Stop. 1694 01:33:58,000 --> 01:34:00,091 Let's give it a beat for the extras to clear. 1695 01:34:00,116 --> 01:34:01,116 Go, go, go, go. 1696 01:34:01,288 --> 01:34:02,351 Oh my God. 1697 01:34:06,382 --> 01:34:09,983 Oh, my, God. 1698 01:34:19,958 --> 01:34:21,638 Come on, girl! Come here! 1699 01:34:43,945 --> 01:34:48,000 Good girl! We don't have to be apart ever, ever again! Never, ever--- 1700 01:34:48,000 --> 01:34:50,118 - Sorry! - Fuck! 1701 01:34:50,415 --> 01:34:52,748 What is Cafe Gratitude doing here? 1702 01:34:52,773 --> 01:34:53,773 Sorry about that. 1703 01:34:53,798 --> 01:34:56,000 Tremble not, sweet Mary Puppins. 1704 01:34:56,000 --> 01:34:57,298 I'll handle him. 1705 01:34:57,345 --> 01:34:58,752 Come here, girl. Papa's here. 1706 01:34:58,777 --> 01:35:01,330 Hey, do not insult this animal's autonomy. 1707 01:35:01,361 --> 01:35:03,758 She can decide who her papa is. 1708 01:35:03,783 --> 01:35:05,078 What's it gonna be, girl, huh? 1709 01:35:05,103 --> 01:35:08,000 Original recipe? Or Van Milder here? 1710 01:35:08,000 --> 01:35:09,172 Ah, that's funny. 1711 01:35:09,197 --> 01:35:11,400 I can gently tap the fourth wall, too. 1712 01:35:11,564 --> 01:35:13,000 The Proposal. 1713 01:35:14,009 --> 01:35:15,351 What the fuck was that? 1714 01:35:15,376 --> 01:35:17,000 Bitch, you think that's what I do? 1715 01:35:17,000 --> 01:35:19,000 Both of you, shut up. 1716 01:35:19,000 --> 01:35:20,484 Do you smell something? 1717 01:35:20,509 --> 01:35:22,000 Yeah, you. 1718 01:35:22,000 --> 01:35:23,757 A lot of you. 1719 01:35:38,217 --> 01:35:40,742 Told you there were a lot of Deadpools over there. 1720 01:35:51,984 --> 01:35:53,319 That's bad. 1721 01:36:15,181 --> 01:36:16,557 I take it they're not friendly. 1722 01:36:16,582 --> 01:36:17,582 Goodness, no. 1723 01:36:17,607 --> 01:36:18,607 Sorry about this, boys. 1724 01:36:18,632 --> 01:36:19,632 Mission over. 1725 01:36:19,657 --> 01:36:22,395 Cause of death, 100 kill thirsty Deadpools. 1726 01:36:22,450 --> 01:36:23,330 They're dumb. 1727 01:36:23,355 --> 01:36:24,661 But they can fight. 1728 01:36:24,686 --> 01:36:25,558 Not me, though. 1729 01:36:25,583 --> 01:36:27,794 I would love to get in the mix, but I have low bone density 1730 01:36:27,819 --> 01:36:29,951 and I have to keep my face safe. 1731 01:36:30,187 --> 01:36:31,138 Hold, please. 1732 01:36:31,163 --> 01:36:31,802 Oh, God. 1733 01:36:31,827 --> 01:36:32,827 All right, look. 1734 01:36:33,289 --> 01:36:34,297 Guys! 1735 01:36:35,492 --> 01:36:37,000 Deadpool Prime here. 1736 01:36:37,000 --> 01:36:38,225 Our fight isn't with you. 1737 01:36:38,250 --> 01:36:39,000 Hey! 1738 01:36:39,000 --> 01:36:40,289 When I want your opinion, 1739 01:36:40,314 --> 01:36:42,374 I'll take Wolverine's dick out of your mouth! 1740 01:36:42,399 --> 01:36:43,189 That's Kidpool. 1741 01:36:43,214 --> 01:36:44,259 She's the dirtiest. 1742 01:36:44,284 --> 01:36:45,460 Can we just be done? 1743 01:36:45,485 --> 01:36:47,328 Oh, we're just getting started. 1744 01:36:47,353 --> 01:36:48,303 No, no, no, no, no. 1745 01:36:48,328 --> 01:36:51,000 With the whole multiverse thing. 1746 01:36:51,000 --> 01:36:53,000 It's not great. 1747 01:36:53,000 --> 01:36:58,000 It's just been miss, after miss, after miss. 1748 01:36:58,000 --> 01:36:59,913 The Wizard of Oz did the multiverse first, 1749 01:36:59,938 --> 01:37:01,646 and they did it best. 1750 01:37:01,671 --> 01:37:04,701 The gays knew it, but we didn't listen. 1751 01:37:04,726 --> 01:37:07,617 Let's just take the L and move on. 1752 01:37:07,642 --> 01:37:10,000 I think it's been steadily great since Endgame. 1753 01:37:10,000 --> 01:37:11,576 What are you talking about? 1754 01:37:11,601 --> 01:37:13,115 The multiverse is over. 1755 01:37:13,140 --> 01:37:15,779 Sandy gonna destroy the fuck out of every timeline. 1756 01:37:15,804 --> 01:37:17,523 And y'all can't do shit about it. 1757 01:37:17,548 --> 01:37:18,693 Do you not get it? 1758 01:37:18,718 --> 01:37:20,000 If we don't get on the subway and stop her, 1759 01:37:20,000 --> 01:37:21,046 we all die. 1760 01:37:21,071 --> 01:37:23,334 Sandy boss lady don't want no disturbance. 1761 01:37:23,359 --> 01:37:24,900 You want to get down to the subway? 1762 01:37:24,925 --> 01:37:25,925 You gotta go through us. 1763 01:37:25,950 --> 01:37:27,523 Goosey time, baby. 1764 01:37:27,724 --> 01:37:28,724 Goosey time, baby. 1765 01:37:28,750 --> 01:37:29,750 Look alive! 1766 01:37:38,797 --> 01:37:39,836 I think I'm hit. 1767 01:37:39,861 --> 01:37:40,703 No shit. 1768 01:37:40,728 --> 01:37:41,886 You did that on purpose. 1769 01:37:41,911 --> 01:37:43,000 I did no such thing! 1770 01:37:43,000 --> 01:37:44,000 Listen to me, gorgeous. 1771 01:37:44,000 --> 01:37:46,000 How long does it take for you to regenerate? 1772 01:37:46,000 --> 01:37:47,228 Regenerate? 1773 01:37:53,000 --> 01:37:55,000 You really are God's perfect idiot, aren't you? 1774 01:37:55,000 --> 01:37:56,000 I'm okay. 1775 01:37:56,000 --> 01:37:58,372 How dare you, you insensitive son of a bitch. 1776 01:37:58,397 --> 01:38:00,630 How was I supposed to know he doesn't regenerate? 1777 01:38:00,655 --> 01:38:02,122 I'm not a medicine woman. 1778 01:38:02,147 --> 01:38:02,906 Look. 1779 01:38:02,931 --> 01:38:03,835 A donut cart. 1780 01:38:03,860 --> 01:38:05,000 They're practically hospitals. 1781 01:38:05,000 --> 01:38:06,265 They sell portable triage units. 1782 01:38:06,290 --> 01:38:06,820 They don't. 1783 01:38:06,845 --> 01:38:08,162 I'm gonna get you to safety. 1784 01:38:08,187 --> 01:38:08,760 He's not. 1785 01:38:08,785 --> 01:38:09,703 Deep breath. 1786 01:38:18,000 --> 01:38:19,000 Hey! 1787 01:38:19,000 --> 01:38:20,000 Why are we stopping? 1788 01:38:20,000 --> 01:38:21,656 I'm just catching my breath. 1789 01:38:21,681 --> 01:38:23,321 What, are your legs on vacation? 1790 01:38:23,354 --> 01:38:24,742 You're dead weight! 1791 01:38:24,767 --> 01:38:26,000 It's because I'm paralyzed. 1792 01:38:26,000 --> 01:38:27,000 We all have problems. 1793 01:38:27,000 --> 01:38:28,000 Listen to me. 1794 01:38:28,000 --> 01:38:29,555 You're gonna live. 1795 01:38:29,710 --> 01:38:31,616 Look at me, Nicepool. 1796 01:38:35,523 --> 01:38:36,851 You're gonna live. 1797 01:38:37,476 --> 01:38:38,665 Say it. 1798 01:38:39,156 --> 01:38:40,579 I'm gonna live. 1799 01:38:40,811 --> 01:38:42,056 Say it with me. 1800 01:38:42,242 --> 01:38:43,460 You're gonna live. 1801 01:38:43,664 --> 01:38:44,884 I'm gonna live. 1802 01:38:46,445 --> 01:38:48,290 Say it louder! 1803 01:38:48,315 --> 01:38:49,640 I'm gonna live! 1804 01:38:58,272 --> 01:38:59,984 Hold your fire! 1805 01:39:01,491 --> 01:39:03,156 Sweet little puppy. 1806 01:39:13,625 --> 01:39:14,828 Goddammit! 1807 01:39:14,853 --> 01:39:16,345 I don't think he's gonna make it. 1808 01:39:16,707 --> 01:39:18,640 God, he loved his face. 1809 01:39:18,740 --> 01:39:21,201 I could taste his final thought. 1810 01:39:21,257 --> 01:39:22,524 He was so afraid. 1811 01:39:22,643 --> 01:39:23,790 But he died a hero. 1812 01:39:23,815 --> 01:39:24,751 He died for murder, 1813 01:39:24,776 --> 01:39:25,693 you dumb fuck. 1814 01:39:25,718 --> 01:39:27,745 Now all I have to remember him by... 1815 01:39:28,605 --> 01:39:32,737 Are these two gold-plated 50- caliber desert eagle pistoleros. 1816 01:39:32,812 --> 01:39:33,976 This is for him. 1817 01:39:34,140 --> 01:39:35,679 Are you ready? 1818 01:39:35,901 --> 01:39:37,901 I get to kill a 100 yous. 1819 01:39:37,997 --> 01:39:39,750 Fuck yeah, I'm ready. 1820 01:39:40,022 --> 01:39:41,656 You don't want to see this, pup. 1821 01:39:41,758 --> 01:39:43,047 That's a good girl. 1822 01:40:19,219 --> 01:40:20,710 Holy shit! 1823 01:40:20,907 --> 01:40:23,031 You save the good stuff for special occasions? 1824 01:40:23,173 --> 01:40:24,540 Killing, mostly. 1825 01:40:24,759 --> 01:40:27,525 What's the wind resistance on those blowjob handles? 1826 01:40:28,424 --> 01:40:31,432 Sorry. I'm just a catty bitch when I'm jealous. 1827 01:40:31,555 --> 01:40:33,057 Alright, let's do this. 1828 01:40:33,181 --> 01:40:34,399 Maximum effort. 1829 01:41:40,412 --> 01:41:41,996 Motherfucker! 1830 01:41:42,293 --> 01:41:44,146 I wish I was deaf. 1831 01:42:20,390 --> 01:42:21,390 Come on! 1832 01:42:21,468 --> 01:42:22,779 No, I blew it. 1833 01:42:22,804 --> 01:42:26,804 After all that, the only thing everyone'll remember is that god-awful dismount! 1834 01:42:31,749 --> 01:42:33,765 Whatcha laughing at, you little fucker? 1835 01:42:34,553 --> 01:42:35,553 Uh-oh. 1836 01:42:39,624 --> 01:42:41,624 I guess these ones regenerate. 1837 01:42:43,444 --> 01:42:45,857 Come on. We don't have time for this! 1838 01:42:45,990 --> 01:42:47,109 Deadpools. 1839 01:42:47,155 --> 01:42:48,436 Stand down! 1840 01:42:58,739 --> 01:43:00,442 This Deadpool is with me. 1841 01:43:00,592 --> 01:43:02,426 - Oh no! - Holy shit. 1842 01:43:02,451 --> 01:43:04,504 That's fucking Peter! 1843 01:43:08,218 --> 01:43:09,473 You guys know Peter? 1844 01:43:09,498 --> 01:43:11,953 Are you kidding me? Every Deadpool has a Peter. 1845 01:43:12,164 --> 01:43:15,385 He's a goddamn legend in every Deadpool's world. 1846 01:43:15,410 --> 01:43:16,600 Peter-san... 1847 01:43:16,796 --> 01:43:18,070 Hai! 1848 01:43:32,576 --> 01:43:34,616 Enjoy my Peter! 1849 01:44:01,349 --> 01:44:02,349 Oh, now you're here! 1850 01:44:02,374 --> 01:44:03,000 Oh, well. 1851 01:44:03,000 --> 01:44:04,000 You're too late! It's all over! 1852 01:44:04,000 --> 01:44:05,000 Not yet, it's not. 1853 01:44:05,000 --> 01:44:06,318 Oh no, no, no, no! But we're very close. 1854 01:44:06,343 --> 01:44:07,752 Homestretch, folks. 1855 01:44:07,777 --> 01:44:08,574 Promise. 1856 01:44:08,599 --> 01:44:09,889 Quick! Let's up the stakes. 1857 01:44:09,914 --> 01:44:12,732 If she steals the time ripper's energy, she has the power to shred the 1858 01:44:12,757 --> 01:44:15,987 fabric of all the realities until there is nothing left but the Void. 1859 01:44:16,012 --> 01:44:16,980 How do we shut her down? 1860 01:44:17,005 --> 01:44:18,005 I don't know. 1861 01:44:19,937 --> 01:44:21,068 How about now? 1862 01:44:21,093 --> 01:44:22,668 The mask is really intimidating, huh? 1863 01:44:22,693 --> 01:44:24,693 It's like Batman, except he can move his neck. 1864 01:44:24,718 --> 01:44:26,125 Okay. Look, look, look. 1865 01:44:27,140 --> 01:44:30,029 The ripper is fed from a secure chamber below ground. 1866 01:44:30,054 --> 01:44:34,201 It is powered by twin matter and anti- matter feeds converging inside the device. 1867 01:44:34,226 --> 01:44:36,412 Now Cassandra Nova is redirecting the ripper's power 1868 01:44:36,437 --> 01:44:39,155 to eliminate all timelines starting with this one. 1869 01:44:39,180 --> 01:44:42,716 Theoretically you could stop her by short- circuiting the feeds in the chamber below. 1870 01:44:42,741 --> 01:44:45,101 One of you would create a circuit between the two feeds, 1871 01:44:45,125 --> 01:44:48,441 then the released power would destroy the machine. 1872 01:44:48,466 --> 01:44:50,037 - But, well... - Come on, man! 1873 01:44:50,062 --> 01:44:52,299 If you're not gonna swallow, spit it out! 1874 01:44:52,604 --> 01:44:55,534 Whoever forms the bridge would be annihilated. 1875 01:44:55,559 --> 01:44:56,585 I can live with that. 1876 01:44:56,610 --> 01:44:57,515 Yeah, I can live with that too, actually. 1877 01:44:57,540 --> 01:44:59,588 You know, we survive anything. We're like cockroaches. 1878 01:44:59,651 --> 01:45:00,740 Not this time. 1879 01:45:00,765 --> 01:45:03,418 This is matter and antimatter. 1880 01:45:03,443 --> 01:45:05,443 They do not play nicely with each other. 1881 01:45:05,468 --> 01:45:08,431 When they mix in your body, you will be atomized. 1882 01:45:08,593 --> 01:45:10,795 Trust the laws of physics if you don't trust me. 1883 01:45:10,820 --> 01:45:15,039 Even if you live long enough to make the circuit, you will die down there. 1884 01:45:39,600 --> 01:45:41,600 Hold up, hold. 1885 01:45:41,600 --> 01:45:43,600 You heard that asshole upstairs. 1886 01:45:43,625 --> 01:45:47,575 Even if we pull this off, we're dead. Permanently. 1887 01:45:48,026 --> 01:45:49,824 That's why it's got to be me. 1888 01:45:49,849 --> 01:45:51,011 What? 1889 01:45:53,600 --> 01:45:57,600 Look man, you didn't ask for any of this. 1890 01:45:57,600 --> 01:45:59,600 You were right. 1891 01:45:59,600 --> 01:46:01,600 I lied. 1892 01:46:01,600 --> 01:46:04,793 I lied right to your face, just to get you to help me. 1893 01:46:04,818 --> 01:46:05,990 And you did. 1894 01:46:06,147 --> 01:46:07,967 You didn't lie. 1895 01:46:09,600 --> 01:46:11,600 You made an educated wish. 1896 01:46:13,600 --> 01:46:15,600 Come on. 1897 01:46:15,600 --> 01:46:18,600 You got a whole world to go back to. 1898 01:46:19,600 --> 01:46:21,400 I got nothing. 1899 01:46:22,600 --> 01:46:24,377 I got nothing. 1900 01:46:28,600 --> 01:46:30,241 Give me this. 1901 01:46:36,794 --> 01:46:37,872 Hey. 1902 01:46:42,545 --> 01:46:44,912 I waited a long time for this team-up. 1903 01:46:46,600 --> 01:46:48,100 You know something? 1904 01:46:49,600 --> 01:46:51,651 You are the best Wolverine. 1905 01:46:59,756 --> 01:47:01,865 Say hi to your friends for me. 1906 01:47:14,600 --> 01:47:15,600 Open the door! 1907 01:47:15,600 --> 01:47:18,600 I can't hear you over all the noble sacrifice. 1908 01:47:18,600 --> 01:47:20,435 Why are you fucking doing this? 1909 01:47:20,460 --> 01:47:23,381 Because I'm Marvel Jesus. 1910 01:47:24,600 --> 01:47:26,202 Or Spock. 1911 01:47:26,505 --> 01:47:28,185 Hard to say. 1912 01:47:40,600 --> 01:47:42,600 Sorry, I'm just stalling. 1913 01:47:42,600 --> 01:47:45,043 I think I'm nervous about dying. 1914 01:47:45,068 --> 01:47:47,068 This should be me. 1915 01:47:47,600 --> 01:47:49,159 Say hi to my friends for me, Peanut. 1916 01:47:49,184 --> 01:47:50,184 Wade! 1917 01:47:50,209 --> 01:47:51,600 Way to be an annoying prick. 1918 01:47:51,600 --> 01:47:54,628 But this time you're gonna die, you dumb fuck! 1919 01:48:01,600 --> 01:48:03,600 Wade, you don't need to do this. 1920 01:48:03,600 --> 01:48:05,490 I'm not doing it because I need it. 1921 01:48:06,600 --> 01:48:08,178 I'm doing it because they do. 1922 01:48:59,514 --> 01:49:00,717 It's over. 1923 01:50:07,435 --> 01:50:11,435 The Wolverine. He's a hero in my world. 1924 01:50:13,600 --> 01:50:16,408 Whoever you think I am, you've got the wrong guy. 1925 01:50:17,600 --> 01:50:22,195 You were always the wrong guy, 'till you weren't. 1926 01:50:24,648 --> 01:50:25,724 Wade... 1927 01:50:27,906 --> 01:50:33,398 Wade, you can finally, finally matter. 1928 01:50:48,420 --> 01:50:49,810 Vanessa. 1929 01:50:52,076 --> 01:50:54,076 I wanna see Vanessa. 1930 01:50:59,753 --> 01:51:02,600 For the first time in my life, I am proud 1931 01:51:02,625 --> 01:51:04,394 to wear this suit. 1932 01:51:05,600 --> 01:51:07,430 I was an X-Man. 1933 01:51:09,365 --> 01:51:11,281 I am the X-Man. 1934 01:51:54,529 --> 01:51:55,842 Paradox! 1935 01:51:57,897 --> 01:51:59,357 You've been busy. 1936 01:51:59,529 --> 01:52:00,803 Well somebody had to be. 1937 01:52:00,827 --> 01:52:02,825 We had some strange readings from this location. 1938 01:52:02,850 --> 01:52:06,357 You wouldn't know anything about an unsanctioned time ripper, would you? 1939 01:52:06,404 --> 01:52:09,935 No, no, I wouldn't know anything about an unsanctioned time ripper. 1940 01:52:09,960 --> 01:52:11,920 Maybe you should ask Cassandra Nova because I 1941 01:52:11,945 --> 01:52:14,725 was assured that she was safely held in the Void. 1942 01:52:14,750 --> 01:52:18,458 But no, he was here. And she fondled my brain. How did you let this happen? 1943 01:52:18,483 --> 01:52:19,617 You weren't involved at all? 1944 01:52:19,642 --> 01:52:23,899 In stopping her, yes. Yes, I was. But not nearly enough. 1945 01:52:23,924 --> 01:52:28,412 Not as much as the men who went down there after her. My men, my 1946 01:52:28,436 --> 01:52:33,575 friends, I warned them that they would be completely obliterated. 1947 01:52:33,600 --> 01:52:38,600 But they went anyway, like... Like heroes. 1948 01:52:40,008 --> 01:52:42,545 Because that's who they were. 1949 01:52:44,506 --> 01:52:46,451 They just did what they had to do. 1950 01:52:47,092 --> 01:52:49,818 With no concern for their own safety. 1951 01:52:52,600 --> 01:52:59,156 The fact that we are all still standing here is a testament to their heroism. 1952 01:53:02,388 --> 01:53:05,220 Anyway, there is nothing you or I can do to bring them back now. 1953 01:53:06,504 --> 01:53:08,504 He has risen, baby girl! 1954 01:53:08,529 --> 01:53:09,389 Fuck! 1955 01:53:28,600 --> 01:53:32,584 - Found you a new anchor being. - And we're doing just fine, you piece of shit. 1956 01:53:33,889 --> 01:53:35,600 Fine, indeed. 1957 01:53:35,600 --> 01:53:40,044 Alright. Put your greasy tits away, you preening slut. 1958 01:53:40,600 --> 01:53:43,600 I don't understand. How are you two still alive? 1959 01:53:43,600 --> 01:53:45,828 You were right. One of us would've been killed. 1960 01:53:45,853 --> 01:53:48,805 But you put a Deadpool and a Wolverine together, 1961 01:53:48,830 --> 01:53:53,477 make them hold hands while listening to Madonna? Indestructible, motherfucker. 1962 01:53:53,600 --> 01:53:55,666 Let's get this Deadpool variant back to the Void. 1963 01:53:55,691 --> 01:53:56,994 Wait. Hold on, what? 1964 01:53:57,019 --> 01:54:01,019 No, actually, this one is homegrown. Like me, he belongs here. 1965 01:54:01,365 --> 01:54:02,365 And you are? 1966 01:54:02,390 --> 01:54:05,310 Peterpool. But you can call me Peter. 1967 01:54:06,193 --> 01:54:08,247 And I hope that you do. 1968 01:54:13,866 --> 01:54:15,678 What the fuck is happening here? 1969 01:54:15,703 --> 01:54:19,191 You are under judgement for operating an unsanctioned time ripper. 1970 01:54:19,216 --> 01:54:19,868 Take him. 1971 01:54:19,893 --> 01:54:22,059 I was just doing what you don't have the guts to do! 1972 01:54:23,000 --> 01:54:25,879 Please, your hand off me. 1973 01:54:27,023 --> 01:54:28,884 I'm grateful, gentlemen. 1974 01:54:29,000 --> 01:54:31,000 Let's hold the bows. 1975 01:54:31,000 --> 01:54:33,000 You led an omega-level mutant to this timeline. 1976 01:54:33,000 --> 01:54:34,000 Welcome. 1977 01:54:34,000 --> 01:54:36,349 And you shouldn't even be near this timeline. 1978 01:54:36,374 --> 01:54:37,374 He's welcome. 1979 01:54:37,399 --> 01:54:40,510 And you, look damn good in that suit. 1980 01:54:40,601 --> 01:54:41,775 I'm so sorry. 1981 01:54:46,062 --> 01:54:49,842 I want to show you something. Something huge. 1982 01:54:49,867 --> 01:54:52,000 That's what Scout Master Kevin used to say. 1983 01:54:52,904 --> 01:54:54,904 Do you see that? 1984 01:54:55,023 --> 01:54:57,491 Your universe is regenerating. 1985 01:54:57,642 --> 01:55:01,262 Whatever you did here, you not only saved your world, 1986 01:55:01,558 --> 01:55:04,707 you spared your timeline from extinction. 1987 01:55:05,809 --> 01:55:07,091 I'd rest up. 1988 01:55:07,372 --> 01:55:09,747 I have a feeling your work is only just getting started. 1989 01:55:10,003 --> 01:55:11,825 'Till you're 90! 1990 01:55:11,862 --> 01:55:12,887 Wait. 1991 01:55:13,605 --> 01:55:16,808 We couldn't have made it out of the Void without some help. 1992 01:55:17,234 --> 01:55:21,000 From some people that the world kind of... kind of forgot. 1993 01:55:21,720 --> 01:55:25,697 Is there any way that you can maybe find a way to bring them home? 1994 01:55:26,822 --> 01:55:28,267 I'll see what I can do. 1995 01:55:28,361 --> 01:55:34,414 And I promised my friend here that TVA can undo some pretty awful shit in his timeline. 1996 01:55:34,439 --> 01:55:35,950 What would you say to that? 1997 01:55:35,975 --> 01:55:37,717 Change the past? 1998 01:55:38,074 --> 01:55:39,966 He did help me save the world. 1999 01:55:40,092 --> 01:55:42,818 And his past made him the man who did it. 2000 01:55:43,421 --> 01:55:46,078 There's nothing to fix, Mr. Wilson. 2001 01:55:46,999 --> 01:55:48,124 Logan. 2002 01:55:51,443 --> 01:55:52,443 Shawarma? 2003 01:55:52,468 --> 01:55:53,468 I could eat. 2004 01:56:03,000 --> 01:56:06,000 You know the Avengers discovered Shawarma. 2005 01:56:06,000 --> 01:56:08,000 They'd be lucky to have you. 2006 01:56:15,062 --> 01:56:16,062 Oh. 2007 01:56:17,171 --> 01:56:18,171 Fuck! 2008 01:56:19,542 --> 01:56:21,300 Come here, my little cuntskin. 2009 01:56:21,300 --> 01:56:22,300 Yes, it's you. 2010 01:56:22,300 --> 01:56:24,300 You're a survivor. 2011 01:56:25,503 --> 01:56:27,503 Oh, all is right in the world. 2012 01:56:28,854 --> 01:56:30,456 Yes it is. 2013 01:56:31,300 --> 01:56:33,300 So, what are you going to do next? 2014 01:56:34,300 --> 01:56:35,300 I'll figure it out. 2015 01:56:35,300 --> 01:56:36,300 I always do. 2016 01:56:39,300 --> 01:56:40,963 So I'll probably see you around? 2017 01:56:45,385 --> 01:56:46,533 Probably not. 2018 01:56:49,854 --> 01:56:51,016 See you, Bub. 2019 01:57:00,057 --> 01:57:01,057 Logan! 2020 01:57:07,796 --> 01:57:08,796 Al? 2021 01:57:08,821 --> 01:57:09,821 I'm back. 2022 01:57:09,846 --> 01:57:11,539 About damn time! 2023 01:57:11,564 --> 01:57:12,564 You holdin'? 2024 01:57:12,589 --> 01:57:16,388 I'm all out of Devil's Dandruff, and I'm shaking like an angry vibrator. 2025 01:57:16,413 --> 01:57:17,413 Thank you, Al. 2026 01:57:17,438 --> 01:57:18,870 We have company. 2027 01:57:18,970 --> 01:57:19,970 Althea? 2028 01:57:19,995 --> 01:57:22,315 This is... This is Logan. 2029 01:57:22,448 --> 01:57:23,790 Nice to meet you, Logan. 2030 01:57:23,815 --> 01:57:24,767 Nice to meet you too. 2031 01:57:24,792 --> 01:57:28,227 This little ancient anal shitnog, is Mary Puppins. 2032 01:57:28,252 --> 01:57:32,885 Or as I like to call her, Dogpool. You wanna treat yourself to a little stroke? 2033 01:57:34,150 --> 01:57:35,150 Give her the tongue. 2034 01:57:35,238 --> 01:57:37,447 Oh, my God, motherfucker! 2035 01:57:37,742 --> 01:57:42,518 It's like an armadillo fucked a gremlin, angrily, in a bed of gonorrhea, 2036 01:57:42,767 --> 01:57:45,463 and didn't stop till the sun came up. 2037 01:57:46,064 --> 01:57:48,430 Everyone wants to matter. 2038 01:57:48,587 --> 01:57:51,611 Turns out that you don't need to be Marvel Jesus to do it. 2039 01:57:51,773 --> 01:57:54,643 You just need to open your eyes and look around. 2040 01:57:54,798 --> 01:57:58,798 And if you're lucky, you'll find a few friends. 2041 01:57:58,823 --> 01:58:00,300 Old friends... 2042 01:58:00,730 --> 01:58:02,847 And some new ones, too. 2043 01:58:07,120 --> 01:58:09,292 Give me the fucking dog. Talk to the girl. 2044 01:58:19,776 --> 01:58:21,721 - Hi. - Hi. 2045 01:58:24,237 --> 01:58:25,706 You've been busy. 2046 01:58:28,300 --> 01:58:30,198 I did it for you. 2047 01:58:32,300 --> 01:58:35,464 Even if you don't want me in. I did it for you. 2048 01:58:43,999 --> 01:58:47,128 Turns out, I am the world saving type. 2049 01:58:47,300 --> 01:58:50,137 Just look around this table if you want proof. 2050 01:58:50,590 --> 01:58:53,917 And the best part, sometimes the people we save 2051 01:58:55,079 --> 01:58:57,079 they save us right back. 2052 01:58:58,757 --> 01:59:00,807 subtranslated by Fujifilm96