[echoing shouts]
♪ In yo face Smash through the glass As the fireworks blast ♪
♪ Shaggy the clown Here to murder some ass ♪
♪ I be the strangler Known coast to coast... ♪
[woman] The Gathering of the Juggalos.
It's an annual weeklong music festival
for fans of the band Insane Clown Posse.
It's kind of like a fun county fair,
where you could also potentially be stabbed.
This is me. I'm a senior-level VP
at a hedge fund in New Jersey.
I like Beyoncé and a frisky pinot noir.
I don't belong at this place. I belong at the Admirals Club at JFK.
So, how exactly did I wind up here?
And why am I wearing open-toed shoes at this nightmare carnival?
Because I was trying to do something nice for once.
♪ Something special for you ♪
♪ We got you covered, homey ♪
♪ Something exclusive For you ♪
[vacuum whirring]
[inhales]
[machine whirring]
[phones ringing]
Hey, Kate? Um, would it be all right if I left a little early today?
My brother's moving in with me, and I want to be there to help him.
How old is your brother?
Forty-five.
And you're letting him move back in with you?
Uh...
It's kind of a busy day. I think I'm gonna need you here, Barb.
Fine. Well, if you need me,
I'll be down the hall getting the cake ready for Sarah's shower.
There's a cake?
Yeah. And it's beautiful.
[chuckles] So, I'll be out for two months.
Then I'm hiring a live-in,
and I'll be back, part-time to start,
which should sync with when the Parsons account is up and running.
So, I was thinking, if you guys could prepare all of the documents--
Oh, you don't have to worry about the Parsons account. I took you off of that.
[chuckles] What?
- I took you off of it. - Why would you do that?
'Cause you're having a baby. It doesn't make any sense.
- You're probably not even coming back. - I am coming back.
And you can't fire me, Kate. It's illegal.
I'm not. I'm just saying your pregnancy is high-risk.
It's considered geriatric.
No one invited you here.
It's a company baby shower.
I can come. [sighs]
[chatter resumes]
What is this? Is this Carvel? It's really good.
It was really good.
Um, excuse me, Kate? I just wanted to introduce myself.
Did you think I was being a bitch in there?
Oh, um, I don't know.
But I did read an article about corporate body language
that said you can get more people to agree with you
by opening your arms and torso while addressing a group.
Like this.
- Who are you? - Oh, I'm Erin Flemmings. I'm the new financial analyst.
I just want to say I think it's so impressive how quickly you rose to SVP.
- How did you do it? - By working my ass off nonstop.
- Oh, okay. - Also, the guy ahead of me had to take some time off
'cause his kid was found hurting dogs in the neighborhood.
It was sad for Dan, but it worked out for me.
That's Dan right there.
Just make this job your only focus.
You're not here to make friends or celebrate birthdays,
even if technically you can't stop other people from celebrating theirs.
And do not get pregnant, whatever you do.
Use two condoms if you have to.
Oh, you're actually not supposed to use two condoms.
It's way less effective than using one.
Well, whatever. Sarah chose to have children,
which means she chose to opt out.
Her career is over. It's over, whether she knows it or not.
Oh.
- Hey, girl. - Fuck you, Kate.
Yeah.
[trash can slams]
That's it.
Good luck.
[bottle squeaks]
Oh, hey, Kate? I just got word that the Blackburn pitch
got moved to next week. Should I e-mail Dan as well?
No, I'm handling that on my own. Dan's still messed up from his kid thing.
Oh, also, your brother called. Tell him I'll call him back.
No, he told me to tell you you've been saying that for two weeks now,
and he really needs to speak to you. Fine, get him on the phone.
He actually, uh... He said you don't have to call him back.
But he needs you to go to his house later.
He told me to tell you it's important.
- Fine. Get me his address. - Oka-- You don't know your brother's address?
No, Barb, I don't, because he doesn't live with me.
[sighs]
[woman on radio] ...soared more than 600 percent...
[man on radio] ...final hour of the trading day, the S&P 500...
[man] ...and the estimates in herding per share. And in agri--
[woman] ...have climbed six percent, bringing the year to date loss--
[man continues on radio]
[ice tinkling]
[clock ticking] [spits liquid]
So, what's up?
Are you and Cheryl getting a divorce?
I didn't want to say anything, but I kind of saw it coming.
Nope. Cheryl and I are doing fine.
Oh, good.
We need you to watch Maddie.
I'm sorry. Who?
Maddie. Your niece?
Oh, I would, but I'm just really busy right now.
We're kind of going through a tough time, too, Kate.
Um, Cheryl's mom is not doing so well.
So, we're driving to Red Bank today to move her into hospice.
Oh, I'm sorry. Is it serious?
Yeah, that's what hospice is. It is for people who are dying.
But Cheryl's having a real tough time of it. So, can you?
We've asked everyone.
We'll be back tomorrow night.
- What about Dad? - You know Dad can't help.
[Cheryl] Joe? You can't just leave your towels in the hamper, okay?
They grow mold. Ah, sorry.
Let me guess. She's busy.
Hi, Cheryl. Hi.
So sorry to hear about your mom.
Oh, that's...
Thanks, but we knew this was coming, so...
Please, Kate. It's just one night.
No.
[Cheryl] And here's our cell numbers. And this is the address
of where we're gonna be staying tonight, the hotel.
She also has this Spring Fling dance on Friday.
So if you could take her shopping for a dress, that would be great.
We'll pay you back. Just nothing over like, $60.
And those things on the list, she can't eat them, so...
She has allergies?
Oh, no, they're not allergies.
They're, um, just sensitivities.
Does she die?
Maybe I should just go by myself? No.
Sweetie, no. Kate's got this. Right?
I, um...
I don't know what that means.
I'm gonna need you to say yes or no.
[Kate] Yes.
I will watch...
M... Mad... Maddie.
- Sorry. I'm sorry. - Great.
She needs to be picked up from ballet at 6:00.
Tonight? Oh, my apartment's not kid-ready.
It's all clean lines and--
We were kind of hoping you could stay here.
You know, be near Maddie's school.
You want me to move in here?
Oh, my God! What, you can't stay here for one night?
My mother will never live in her house again!
[door slams] Okay, so you got our numbers.
If you need anything, just give us a call. Okay? You got this.
Uh, we got fajita fixin's in the fridge. Go nuts.
[door closes]
[dog barks]
[car engine starts]
Ohh.
[sniffs] Ohh. Ohh.
[woman] Oh!
Hi. Hi. Sorry. You can't do that.
Yeah, when you left earlier, you left the garage door up,
and there's a lot of little kids running around.
And it's gonna come down and it's gonna, you know...
It's a death trap, so... just close it in the future.
- Okay. - Yeah, this street gets really busy.
And people drive so fast. So we all kind of watch each other's kids.
Oh, hello. I'm Jill. Hi. I live right here.
Been here about four years.
School district... can't be beat.
You go like, three towns over,
and it's like a third-world country. Mm-hmm.
But ours is great, so that's what matters.
Shh.
Okay. I, um... If you're staying long,
um, some of the moms get together,
- do a Wednesday night potluck. - [phone dings]
- You know, simple stuff. - Oh, shit.
Wine, casserole, dip.
Okay.
[tires screech]
[thunder rumbles] Oh! Shit! Shit! Shit!
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Shit. [bangs on door]
Closed?
Okay.
[grunts]
[Kate] Maddie?
I'm your aunt. I'm Kate.
- I know. - What are you doing?
Karate.
Okay. Let's go.
Bye, Sensei Pete. Later, Maddie.
I'm sorry. I was late to get her,
and I think she snuck in here from ballet.
No, she comes in here every Tuesday.
She's so enthusiastic about it, I just let her participate.
Okay, thanks. Bye.
Uh, do you have a second? I'd like you to fill out an order form
for her to be in the proper karate attire. That's okay?
- Oh, no. I'm not her mom. - That's fine. It'll only take two seconds.
You know, I just really don't want to.
So you like chicken Parm.
Look, I have a lot going on at work right now.
So if you leave me alone to do what it is that I need to do,
I'll leave you alone to do...
whatever it is that you do.
Practice my back kicks.
Sure.
So, what?
You hate ballet, but your mother makes you go?
My mom makes me do it, and I don't want to.
That's what I just said.
They say I need to have more girlfriends,
that I'm not trying hard enough, like...
No, I know. Middle school is really the worst.
You hated it, too?
I was a... I was an awkward kid.
But then everything got better, and you're fine now?
Mm-mm. No. No, I wouldn't say that.
I'm still not great in group settings.
I have a habit of saying things that everyone is thinking,
but then someone is always like, "Why did you say that?"
So I'm usually in this place where I hate myself.
But I still think I'm better than everybody else, you know?
So, look, you've probably got a few shit years ahead of you.
But loser kids often become very successful people.
So, you know...
At cheerleading, they put me at the bottom of the pyramids
and make "moo" sounds when they climb on me.
What? The noise a cow makes.
No, I know what noise a cow makes.
You're not doing that anymore.
Really? You're not a meat stool.
Have some dignity.
Take control of your life.
Hi. Yeah, just fill it up. Thank you.
Can I have money for snacks?
You just had an entire chicken Parm meal.
I have to have snacks Monday through Friday.
I have to have snacks for school,
snacks for after school, snacks for TV watching,
snacks for just... when I feel like snacking.
I have to have my snacks.
Okay. Fine.
Just... obey your food sensitivities.
My what? I don't know. Just get whatever you want.
[door bell dings]
Yo, I like your style. You're mad hot.
- What? - Oh, no disrespect, little mommy.
I like a girl who snacks hard.
I eat mad gummies all day.
Yeah. I like gummies.
What's your name?
Maddie.
What's yours?
Dennis. My friends all call me Baby Joker.
Cool.
- You like music? - Yeah.
What kind you like?
All kinds. I like all of it.
That's cool, that's cool. You go to concerts?
Yeah, sometimes.
Which ones?
Um... I forget.
That's cool, that's cool.
[cell phone dings]
Oh, shit.
[rings]
Henry? [indistinct chatter]
Hi. Uh-huh. Yeah.
I can have those slides over to you in an hour.
Yeah.
Them purple ones? Mm-hmm.
There's a story behind those. A history.
What's the story?
You notice how they were gone? Like, they went extinct?
They were nowhere to be found? Mm-hmm.
I wrote to the company for them to restock the gummies.
Months later, they're back in store. That was me.
Wow.
Yours truly. Baby Joker. I wrote that.
Yeah. I probably would've, too.
I was looking into the future and I was like,
"Man, one day I'm gonna have my babies,
and they're not gonna be able to have those snacks."
So I was like, "I'm gonna..." Oh, thank you.
[Kate] It's so funny. I was driving, and then you weren't in the car.
So... don't tell your mom about this.
[Maddie] Okay.
[cell phone ringing]
[beep]
[cell phone ringing]
Yeah, hi. What?
Hey, I'm just checking in. What's going on?
I'm just working on my presentation. The pitch got moved up.
I meant with Maddie. What... What's she doing?
Uh, I don't know. What do you mean? Where is she?
I mean, she's here. I just don't know what she's doing.
She's...
[grunting]
She's fighting with trees.
[howls] Oh, now she's pretending to be a wolf.
Okay, so she's playing. You can just say that she's playing.
All right? You picked her up from ballet okay?
Yeah. By the way, you're really throwing your money down the drain there.
Oh, come on. Don't be mean, Kate. She's there to make friends.
Yeah, I just really think she'd prefer to make friends in karate.
Karate? No, she's not into that.
Karate is for boys.
Yeah. That's ridiculous.
So, Kate, um, I'm sorry about this.
But actually, we're gonna need you to stay just a little bit longer.
Cheryl, I can't do that. That was not part of our agreement.
I know. I understand that, Kate.
But there's just a lot more to do here than we thought.
So maybe you could just stay till the end of the week maybe
and we could pick her up on Friday after the dance?
I mean... no!
[whispers indistinctly]
Hey, Kate? We don't have a lot of options here right now.
Okay? Look, I mean, you know, I wish we did.
I wish I could just wave a magic wand Joe...
and make Memaw feel better, but I can't, okay?
[crying] Cheryl's really having a hard time with all this.
We're... We're begging you, okay?
Will you please take Maddie for just a few more days?
We are moving a lifetime of memories here in this house!
Okay, just stop. Just stop! It's all right.
Joe, I'll watch her.
Thank you, Kate. Thank you.
I gotta go.
All right, you take a break. Go take a break.
Aah! Honey!
It's my mom!
Your parents aren't coming home until Friday.
So that means I'm gonna need you to be very responsible,
and I'm gonna need you to be very professional.
Do we have an understanding?
Um, Kate? What?
- I was, um-- - Spit it out.
Can I have a friend over after school tomorrow?
Is it a nice friend, or is it one of those cheerleader bitches?
It's a nice friend.
Fine. Whatever.
Thanks, Kate. You're pretty cool.
[scraping]
Why are you eating it like that?
I just like the salt.
Please leave me alone.
[cell phone alarm ringing]
Maddie! Maddie, wake up! We gotta go!
Okay, good.
[Kate] Go. Go, go, go.
Go!
Okay.
[starts engine]
[tires screech]
What are you doing?
[Kate] What is she doing?
Yeah, yeah, hi. I thought I was clear before
when I said that we keep our garage doors down for our kids.
Okay, well, we can... I can do that right now.
You can't. The clicker doesn't work.
I can't. The clicker doesn't work.
Uh, so get it fixed. Okay?
And in general, just slow way down.
Time to put your mommy hat on.
Yeah? Well, it's time you put some pants on.
Because I can see your pussy.
[Kate] Have a great day.
[Kate] Okay, bye. [Maddie] Um, but this isn't my school.
It's not? No. Mine's down the street.
Okay, I'm really sorry, but you gotta get out and walk
because I'm very late.
[car alarm beeps]
I really like it here so far.
Everybody's so nice.
Yeah. Yeah. It's great you think that.
Shit, shit. Are they here?
Oh, hello, gentlemen.
Sorry I'm late. I had a... had a family emergency.
Hmm.
Actually, it was a death.
It was a death. They're dying as we speak.
If you'd like, we could call the dying person
and blame them for holding up our meeting. Would you like that?
Just call the dying person and ask them to wrap it up?
Okay, let's go have a seat, sit down. Shall we?
Yeah. All right.
[Jill] Hey! You're staying longer.
Let's think about getting that garage door fixed, okay?
Yeah, okay. Maybe.
Also, it's trash night.
It's... It's what? It's trash night.
Might want to think about putting your trash out as well.
Where? Gotta roll the cans.
Roll the cans to the street for the garbage men. Okay?
You gotta do it. You gotta do it. 'Cause the raccoons come.
And the raccoons bring ticks.
And there's no cure for Lyme disease.
[slurping]
- [Maddie] Eww! - Maddie?
What are you doing?
This is my friend I was telling you about.
Baby Joker. What's up?
What is on your face?
Oh, it's juggalo paint. B.J. showed me.
We're juggalos.
Go wash it off. Okay?
Go wash it off.
And I think it's time for your friend to go home.
But can't he stay for dinner?
His mom probably wants him home?
Nah, my mom works night shifts at the hospital.
I'm good. I snagged some taquitos from work.
Ooh, snack time every time. You never catch me hungry.
Hey, nom-nom-nom.
Want some of this? Yeah.
Got you two. They're good, man.
Them puppies are good.
Hey. Yeah, that's what...
Hey, I like that.
No. Oh, she did the mustache!
So, Baby Joker, you say you're a gigolo.
Oh, no, no, no. Juggalo.
We're fans of the band. Insane Clown Posse.
Juggalos are all about, like, no judgment.
Because everybody's a freak at their core.
Juggalos are a family.
A family of freaks. We get a bad rap...
because some juggalos be beating kids up with monkey wrenches
or burning down schools and shit, but...
but real juggalos help people.
We live and die by the juggalo code:
Better respect or suck a dick.
- Whoop, whoop! - Whoop, whoop!
Ha!
Oh, my mom just got off her shift.
I'm gonna go pick her up so she don't have to take the bus.
Uh, how much is this?
- I got it. - Hey, thanks.
Later, Maddie. Bye, B.J.
Where did you meet that boy?
At the gas station.
When you left me.
I don't know if he's the best friend pick for you.
You might want to keep looking.
[gasps] You're being just like my mom!
She wants me to have stupid girlfriends,
even though they all hate me and put me on the shit list.
The what?
The girls in my grade made a list of all the girls
who look and smell like shit.
Then posted it all over school.
I came in second.
[Kate] Why does it say "Maddie Beef"?
I farted in gym once,
so Tim Pizzouli told everyone I beefed.
Well, at least you're not number one.
Tara Gavinski got number one.
See? There you go.
She has cerebral palsy.
Who wrote this? Girls from school. You don't know them.
Obviously I don't know them.
Show me a picture.
Let me see it. Mm-hmm.
That's Kylie Matthews. Mm-hmm.
Mackenzie Cohen. Yes?
And Tamara Yushi.
None of these girls have any business making fun of anyone.
This one right here with the boobs,
she probably thinks she's hot shit right now.
But wait a few years. She'll be a fucking whale.
And this one... This...
This girl has lazy eye.
Come on. These girls are dogs.
And you don't smell like shit.
Can I go get an ice pop?
Yeah.
Do you want a makeover?
No, thanks.
What do you mean, no, thanks?
Just... no, thanks. I'm not interested.
You're gonna get a makeover.
No. Please.
It'll be fun.
What is this? Self-tanner.
I don't need to be tan. I'm an indoor kid.
We're gonna change that.
Don't eat it. Don't eat it.
I'm just gonna clean up...
I'm gonna clean up a few stragglers.
Um, yeah, I don't... I don't...
It's fine. You'll thank me.
Okay, here we go. Here we go. Okay.
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Why would you do that?
[laughs] Why are you laughing?
Just... Shh. I'm shutting it down!
I like this one.
No, no. That's deodorant.
Did you buy all this stuff?
Yeah. Yeah, when I started making a lot of money,
I fell pretty hard into consumerism.
This is my warrior's cloak. I got it from Lord Keith
at Medieval Times on my birthday.
This is my weapons of nature collection.
This one defeats demons.
[howls]
[Kate] It just happens.
You can either eat and have a nice face,
or you have a tight ass and you look like the Crypt Keeper.
Not now, but someday, you're gonna have to pick.
It's either your face or your ass.
[Kate] This is my dating profile.
I'm not on it that often. This is why.
Ugh.
How's it look?
[Kate] Oh, wow.
Maybe I should use some more to balance it out.
Please don't. Get in the shower. Scrub.
The thing is, with bullies, you just gotta fight back.
Fight back, or they're gonna keep going.
[grunts] You gotta fight back.
Fight back and take down those lazy-eyed bitches. Ha!
I could put a spell on them so they become wolves.
Maybe. I think if you want to get off the shit list,
you're gonna have to stop turning magic tricks.
Magic is my passion.
[school bell rings]
Hyah! [grunts]
Hey, Dan.
How's it going?
Good. How are you?
Good.
How's everything going with... Lucas?
It's Liam. And he's doing fine.
So all the counseling stuff worked out?
Yeah, it actually did.
Thank you for asking.
We had a few families move away,
and things seem to have calmed down now.
So it's a relief.
Good. Yeah.
So do you have to go around and meet all the new families
that move into the neighborhood? What do you mean?
You know, like when someone in your situation moves into the neighborhood,
they have to go introduce themselves to all the--
My son is not a sex offender.
Good. Good.
Hey, Kate, I have those projections you asked for.
Thank you. I'll be right there.
Glad to hear things are going well, Dan.
So... Victus. I've been trying to score these guys for months.
They're the largest pharma company on the east coast.
[Barb] Hey, Kate? Yeah?
A middle school's on the phone.
Something about a Maddie?
What do they want? To talk to you.
About what?
[sighs]
I didn't ask.
Barb, just take a message. Okay.
I've been trying to get in front of these guys for a while.
But they're all mostly alcoholics going through divorces,
so it's been very difficult to get anybody on the phone.
Um, you know, I'm... Excuse me. I just have to run to the restroom.
Sure. Be right back.
Get that school back on the phone for me right now.
[Barb] Got it. On line one.
Hi. Yeah, I just got a call from you guys. What's up?
[woman] Hello, we had an incident today with Maddie. Can you come in?
Um, I... I can do like, 8:00 or 8:30.
No, someone needs to come right now.
Uh... I mean...
I could be there by 1:00.
Is she okay? That's fine. We'll see you at 1:00.
[phone clicks]
Okay.
Great. Sorry. It's fine. I agree with everything you're saying.
We have to impress these guys. Yes.
Which is why I went ahead and scheduled a lunch with their SVPs for today.
When did you do that? Yesterday.
Barb said you didn't have anything. Is that okay?
What time? What time? 1:00 p.m.
Hmm.
Great. Great.
I figured it was best. Not too early, not too late.
They won't feel judged for drinking.
I got a new shirt. Do you like it? J.Crew.
I used to shop at Old Navy-- Great.
[Erin] I read they have a great Dutch baby here. [man] What's a Dutch baby?
You've never had a Dutch baby? Okay, how do I explain it?
I guess it's like, soft and fluffy.
It's like a pancake that fluffs up. Okay.
Kind of like a baby. And you can put toppings on it, you know?
Strawberries, blueberries. I hate banana.
And you put it in the oven and-- Excuse me. Excuse me.
I have to use the ladies' room.
And you put toppings on it, like powdered sugar,
strawberries, blueberries.
Be right back. I personally hate bananas.
So I would never put it on there.
But it's really dealer's choice.
In Dutch, I believe they call it panneko-ek.
Or pannekoke. I don't speak Dutch.
Is everything okay?
No. I'm fucked up.
Oh, really? Yeah.
I told the waitress to make mine a Coke and water.
I read it's a smart trick for female executives
who don't want to feel ostracized by heavy-drinking clients.
- Smart. - Are you trying to leave right now?
No. No, I just came out here. I needed to get some air.
Okay. I'm watching my niece for the week,
and something happened at the school.
She's... She's strange.
You can go if you need to.
- Really? - Yeah, it's fine. I can get the check.
Thank you. I used to love drinking with clients.
And now it just makes me feel kind of sad.
In my heart, you know?
No, not really.
[woman] What are you doing in my car? Get out! [horn honks]
Sorry, sorry, sorry. Thought you were my Lyft.
- Hello. Hi. Are you-- - Good luck with everything.
[groans]
Hey! What happened? Are you okay?
What's going on? What happened?
Sensei Pete?
What are you doing here? I don't know.
I think Maddie has me down as her emergency contact,
but I don't know how she got my phone number.
Uh, Kate, I realize you're just watching Maddie,
but we had an incident earlier with bullying.
Again? She has got those little shits on her tail.
This needs to stop.
I know Maddie's been picked on,
but I hope you're not encouraging her to fight back.
Of course not.
Then I'm confused
as to why she would roundhouse kick Kylie Matthews
and call Mackenzie Cohen a lazy-eyed bitch
and then mention something about the juggalo code.
He teaches her that stuff.
Uh, Maddie is in my martial arts class,
and I can assure you that we don't promote violence.
We just do forward rolls and stuff.
She physically harmed someone.
Those girls, they make fun of her because she's plump
and she fights with trees.
If you punish her, those little shit girls win.
Let's not call them little shit girls.
Then how about terrorists?
Then the terrorists win.
Have you been drinking?
How dare you?
How... No.
I think you have, because you stink.
Well, I haven't. So, sorry. Are we done here?
No, not at all. No. You need to sign this disciplinary form,
and we have to call Maddie's mom.
Maddie's suspended for the rest of the day
[gags] and tomorrow.
[Sensei Pete] Was that puke? Are you puking?
If you're gonna puke, don't just sit there.
Get up and go into the bathroom.
[Kate retching and coughing]
I can take them home.
Mmm.
Feeling better? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
So, I guess I'm supposed to punish you now? Is that it?
Can I go play Buck Hunter?
Did you finish your Parm?
No.
Whatever.
Look, I didn't want to say anything, but, um,
a roundhouse kick is a really advanced move.
And I was really proud when I heard that,
but I couldn't tell her that because, you know, she took that kid down.
But inside, you were kind of like...
"Nice."
Yeah. Yeah.
Look, I know she's technically not in my class.
But I teach a karate expo every month in a place in Mahwah.
You should bring her.
We don't really hang out.
It's one Tuesday afternoon.
Mm-mm. I gotta work.
And I think she prefers being alone
and making weapons of nature
and pretending that she's a wolf.
I don't really think that, um, karate can do much for her.
It helped me.
Yeah. I, um...
I had really bad social anxiety growing up.
And, um, I couldn't talk to people.
I never left the house.
You were a hoarder?
No. I just... I was just shy.
I'll talk to her parents about getting her a karate outfit.
You. You're here every night with the kid, right?
Mm-hmm. I'm Kate.
You feed her too much chicken Parm. What?
Parm every night is no good. You're gonna give her diabetes.
You should do salad, healthy stuff.
It's not right.
Shit.
Okay. So...
technically, you are suspended
and you should not be enjoying this.
But those girls suck. So let's compromise.
What were you planning on doing today?
Watch TV, practice my back kicks,
look up woolly mammoths.
Maybe just one hour of TV?
Seems fair.
Do not order from the pizza place.
That guy thinks I'm neglecting you.
You can get Chinese instead.
And when does your cleaning lady come?
What?
[spattering]
Your brother's on line one.
Got it. [beep]
Joseph, we really need to talk about your daughter.
[Cheryl] Oh, my God. What? What's wrong?
Ju... Nothing. Nothing.
I have a missed call from the school. Is everything okay?
It's... It's just that I thought...
We thought that Maddie had gotten her period.
But it turns out that she just sat in ketchup.
So we laughed about it.
- What? - [chuckling] What's up?
Is Maddie ready for the dance tomorrow?
Yes. Oh, good. And you got her a dress?
Yep, she's good to go.
Well, what did she pick out?
Sequins. Sequins?
Yeah. Well, that sounds ridiculous.
No, it's actually very flattering.
She really needs to go to this dance--
I'm just pulling up into work. [continues speaking]
So I will talk to you guys later. Okay? Bye.
Fuck!
- [Cheryl] What? - Just... fuck!
Maddie's gonna look so good in her dress!
Hang up. [banging on desk]
[sighs]
I'm so sorry. I swear it was Joe. It was.
It's fine. It's fine, Barb. It's not you.
Um, also, do you think I could leave by 5:00 today?
Why? Um, well, it's actually my birthday.
Happy birthday.
My brother made dinner reservations,
but he made them on the earlier side,
and I was hoping I could beat traffic.
Oh, cool. Where are you guys going?
Uh, Macaroni Grill.
Eww. Why?
Because it's our favorite restaurant.
Yeah.
Lemon coconut.
Key lime. Let's do a salty chocolate caramel.
[Kate thinking] Barb, you're a good assistant.
Sometimes you...
screw up.
No, that...
You didn't... Hear your new analyst is really working out.
Erin? Yeah, she's fine.
Heard about that Victus lunch. Wow.
What about it? She had a four-hour lunch with those guys.
Very impressive. They're notoriously impossible.
She had a four-hour lunch with those guys?
Oh, yeah. Everybody upstairs is talking about it.
And we might go to one of those places
where you have a glass of wine and paint.
I'm feeling naughty, so I might have two.
Who knows, though? It's my birthday.
Happy birthday, Barb.
Thank you for all that you do.
[door slams]
Aww.
Look.
[tweeting] He real great, man.
He's down with the clown, man.
Oh, man. I don't know if he could be a juggalo, man.
What are you talking about? He's crazy.
You can't paint his face. He's missing an eye.
You ever heard of the term "cool cat"?
[holds note] That's the definition of a cool cat, man.
He could be a juggalo, man.
[spitting] [Baby Joker] Ohh!
[spitting continues]
Oh, man, you gotta do that.
Ooh! [laughs] Shit!
Oh, no!
Know what's good for you? What?
Sauerkraut. Sauerkraut?
Yeah. Like a hot dog topping?
Nah, the side.
Toppings can't be sides, man.
But that one's a side. It's a side in Germany.
[scoffs] What you know about Germany?
Hey! Maddie! What are you doing?
Oh, shit. Your grandma's here.
- What are you doing? - Just hanging out.
That's Evil Eddie, Scummer Steve. And you know Baby Joker.
You told me you were gonna be at home working on your kicks.
She was working on her kicks here.
[cat meows] What is that?
It's a cat we found behind the Dumpster.
- His name is Fartosaurus. - [Steve] Yeah.
Is it okay? Hell yeah.
Fartosaurus is a down-ass cat. Whoop, whoop! Meow, meow!
Maddie, let's go. Hey, man, that school's bullshit.
Come on, those girls are mad bitches.
Maddie, she shouldn't even go there.
Yeah. Maddie, get in the car.
Hey. Maddie, let's go. Come on.
Come on. Stop that.
[Steve] Better not grab this thing. Get... No.
Get in the car. Smack her with that. Smack her with...
You put that...
Hey, my recorder.
[Baby Joker] Hey, that's his legendary recorder, man.
Get in the car.
You told me you'd be home. You lied to me.
I wanted to see my family.
Those kids are not your family. Those kids are freaks.
Well, they like me. So if they're freaks,
I guess I'm a freak, too.
Get in the car.
Where are we going?
We're gonna get you a dress for the dance.
Whoop, whoop!
What about this, huh? This is great, right?
- This stuff is all stupid. - You know what?
Some girls never even get to go shopping because they're poor.
So you should be happy.
Why would that make me happy?
It just makes me sad those kids are poor.
[girl] Ugh! You're not listening to me!
You said we were coming here to get dresses.
I need them all!
Can I get a pretzel dog?
Not until you pick something.
But I'm hungry, and I can't make decisions when I'm hungry.
Okay, so we'll go get dinner afterwards. What do you want?
Chicken Parm. No.
You can't eat that every night.
You have to try something else.
Fine. Chicken Parm hero.
[girl] But, Mom, I need all these dresses! Stop ruining my life!
I am not saying it again. No.
You are such a dumb bitch!
No! You're not getting all three.
Your mother's been saying that for the last 30 minutes,
so stop being such a little shit and pick one.
Nobody here likes you!
Let's go. Let's go.
I think she's getting security.
I like this.
That's a pantsuit. Mm-hmm.
I already lied and told your mother I got you a dress.
I don't want to wear a dress!
Oh!
What are you doing?
I don't like girls' clothes.
Sometimes I don't feel like a girl at all.
Sometimes I feel like a wolf.
So you want the pantsuit?
[funk music playing]
Would you be okay if I stepped out for a minute?
Wait. Let me show you something.
Okay.
Pick a hand.
Dang it.
All right.
Keep working on it.
- Kate. - Hey, Dan.
Can I come in?
Uh, sure.
Would you like something to drink?
Um, red wine?
We don't have any wine.
Okay, then nothing.
Okay.
What's up?
Um, this weird thing happened
with my niece earlier.
We were at the mall, and she just...
[purring]
...started...
Is he gonna be okay with that?
With what?
With the cat. I mean, doesn't he...
Kate. What do you want?
Okay. Um, I don't know enough about this,
but I think that she may be having some identity issues.
And her parents aren't the best people to handle it.
[exhales deeply] Are you sure he's gonna be okay with that cat?
- You don't think he's being-- - Uh, buddy?
Could you put Fluffy upstairs?
[cat whimpers]
Hey.
Here. He's adorable.
This is the counselor we took Liam to.
Thanks. He seems totally normal.
He is normal. That's my other son, Mark.
Oh.
You're a real dick, Kate.
Got it.
Thanks for the card.
[Dan] Hey. Hey.
Look, just so you know, I did everything right with Liam,
and he still has issues.
So be careful, or you're gonna screw this up.
Good luck.
♪ The sun and the moon And even Mars... ♪
[knock on door]
Hey. Hey.
Can I come in?
You may enter.
♪ Everything You believed in as kids ♪
♪ Fuckin' rainbows... ♪
Sensei Pete was really impressed
with your roundhouse kick the other day.
But next time, don't do it to a girl.
Okay.
Can I show you something?
[turns music off]
[Kate] I found this downstairs.
This is me.
And this is your dad when we were kids.
You looked like me.
Yeah.
It was my tenth birthday.
And I really wanted to have a sleepover party.
But our parents would openly fight, so it was always a gamble
whether or not we could have friends over.
That, and they'd rent these really inappropriate movies and never send anybody to bed.
I think the entire neighborhood watched The Crying Game at our house.
And a week later, nobody was allowed back.
So, your dad and I, we spent a lot of time by ourselves.
I mean, I don't even talk to my dad anymore.
Kate?
I really don't want to go to the dance tomorrow.
I promise I'll tell Mom and Dad you took me.
Just... please don't make me go.
Okay.
You don't have to go.
[Kate] Wait, Maddie.
Maddie.
I made you lunch.
Thanks.
You want me to come back at lunch?
Why? I don't know.
You can... eat in my car.
Eat in your car? No.
Do you want to just skip today? But I have a history test.
So, you can do whatever. You can take it next week.
But I know everything now.
You gonna be okay?
Yeah. Why are you being so weird?
I'm not being so weird.
Stop being such a little bitch.
Have a good day.
[coffee machine clanking]
Hey, Kate, did you see my e-mail?
No. But do you want to cut out
and go to that Thai massage place down the street?
I won't tell anybody. Those ladies are really strong.
Um, actually, I e-mailed over the Victus pitch.
It's at 8:00 at Ciccolo's.
What? Management's flying in.
Um, okay.
I'll go put something together right now.
Actually, Kate, I'm gonna take this one.
Ha! Yeah, sure.
No, I am. I e-mailed Henry, and he said it was fine.
You e-mailed my boss behind my back?
You were out getting cupcakes for someone's birthday.
Yeah, I was. I was getting cupcakes for Barb.
Because she has nothing.
Except an adult brother who lives with her
and then takes her to eat at sad-as-fuck Macaroni Grill.
Do you know who moves in with their sisters at 43? Serial killers.
So excuse me for trying to do something nice for Barb
because her brother is a fucking serial killer!
My brother's a fucking quadriplegic!
He has to blow in a little tube just to move around, you bitch!
Do you see what you just did?
I'm just doing my job. You're the one that's checked out.
I am not checked out. I'm having a really tough week.
I've got a kid who's trying to be a juggalo.
Do you know what that's like? No, you wouldn't.
Because you're in your twenties. And yo do things like go to brunch
- and drink energy drinks. - So?
It is hard for adults who have families and responsibilities.
Things just happen. So have a little decency
before you jump on someone's job
that they've been working for their entire life!
I was just taking your advice.
Is that my shirt?
Yeah. I got it on sale.
You are not getting that account.
[shutter clicks] Ciccolo's? 8:00?
I will be at that pitch.
[Joe] Hey, Kate. Just a dad reminder.
Letting you know Maddie has her dance tonight. So if you could drop her off...
Cheryl said you got her a sequined dress?
Oh, that's cool.
Hey, Kate. You got a sec?
Actually, I don't. I'm really in a hurry.
I just kind of need your help getting Maddie out of the bounce house.
She's playing a little rough.
It's a fucking bounce house, Jill.
Well, it's ages four to six,
and she's kind of taking the bounce out of it.
And it's not as fun for the other kids if the bounce is gone.
Fine. Fine.
Maddie? See? I got all these moms looking at me.
Maddie? Come on, let's go.
Let's go. Why?
Because I'm late for a meeting,
and she doesn't want you here.
And you're ruining the party for all of these grown women.
Okay. Hey. I know you. You think you're hot shit.
You probably think my life is small.
But I have a husband, I have a home,
- and I have four priceless children! - Okay.
You think you're all cool 'cause you got some fancy job?
And you speed through here with your fancy frickin' car.
What are you wearing, a thong?
You got a thong under there?
You're selfish and you're gonna hurt somebody.
You don't belong around children.
You belong in an airport wine bar.
You're right. I do. I do. Whatever.
- Hey, Maddie, come on. - No, absolutely not.
I'm sorry. You had a good time. Now it's time to go.
Maddie, you stay in there! Oh, my God.
Maddie? Bounce, Maddie! Play!
- Maddie, if-- You are a bitch! - Leave her alone!
- Maddie, bounce! - [Jill] Bitch!
- You're a crazy bi-- - Maddie, stay in there.
Aah! [screams]
My baby!
[gasping] Oh!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Why would you... Uhh! Ohh!
Oh, shit. Ow! Ow!
Oh, my God!
Ow! Pull it up!
Stupid. [Jill sobbing]
I'm so sorry. Shit.
What is wrong with you? Psychopath!
Come on, honey.
Don't worry. I won't tell my mom.
Get in the car.
Are we getting dinner? Get in the car!
Wait. Wait. Why are we here?
Your parents are gonna pick you up after the dance.
No, Kate. Please don't make me go in there. I can't.
I have a meeting, so...
I'll do anything. I'll... I'll let you pluck my eyebrows.
Go inside. Please, Kate.
They're all gonna make fun of me. That's not my fault.
Please. I am not your mother. This is not my problem.
But I'm in a cape!
If you want to run around looking like the Burger King,
then kids are gonna make fun of you.
I've spent this entire week trying to take care of you
when I should've really been trying to take care of myself.
I have no business watching kids.
This week was a mistake.
You think that?
Yeah, I do. Now get out of my car.
Maddie Beef!
I need a kid! Listen, I need a kid.
Excuse me. Excuse me. Whoa, whoa.
My niece, Maddie Stone. I need to get her.
Okay, only staff and children are allowed inside, so...
Oh! Okay.
Fine, fine, fine!
You go get her. Her name is Maddie Stone.
I'm gonna check the list.
Fine.
We couldn't let her in. She wasn't wearing formal attire.
- She wasn't in formal attire? - Yes.
She was wearing a suit, and she was wearing a cape.
I don't know what could be more formal than that.
She was wearing a costume.
The costume ball is in October.
And you also let those kids in.
She's rubbing his dick.
That doesn't seem very formal to me.
Can you go stop that?
Look, I'm sorry, okay? We called her mother.
You called her mother? Yeah.
Real mature.
Maddie!
Maddie, please stop.
Please stop.
Maddie, please. Maddie, get in the car.
No. I'm so sorry.
Please?
I thought you were my friend.
I am your friend. No, you're not.
You don't have any friends.
All you care about is your stupid job.
That is not true. I care about you.
Then why would you leave me there?
You knew they'd all make fun of me!
I... I'm so sorry. I was upset about other stuff.
I'm supposed to be like everyone else, and I can't.
I can't be like everyone else!
[grunting]
Okay. I can't breathe.
Okay. I can't breathe. I can't breathe.
[woman speaking over PA]
Kate. What'd the doctor say?
[whispers] Oh, my God.
Oh, my God! No! My baby!
No! No, I just mean I haven't spoken to the doctor yet.
God damn it, Kate!
Okay, you can go. Ohh!
We'll take it from here.
No, I want to make sure she's okay.
Oh, now you care? The school called.
You didn't tell me that Maddie was suspended.
And now she's in the hospital. So I don't know.
Is she pregnant, too?
No. I don't think so.
[nurse] Guys?
Maddie's fine.
It was pre-anaphylaxis.
Has she been exposed to any allergens recently?
Um, I don't know. What has she been eating?
- Just normal things. - Like what? Like...
She's been eating eggs, cereal, chicken Parm.
No. She can't have tomatoes. That was on the list. That's on the list.
You told me she wouldn't die, so I forgot about the list.
Okay, how much did she have?
Just a couple times. Just five times.
Five ti... You fed her chicken Parmesan
every single night? That's gross, Kate.
That's what she wanted to eat.
[nurse] That'd definitely explain it.
We gave her epinephrine, and she's resting now, so you can see her.
Thank you. I would love that. Thanks so much.
Look, Cheryl, I know you think that I was a terrible babysitter.
And in many ways, I probably was.
But I do care about Maddie.
Then why are we here, Kate?
My mother is dying, and I can't even be with her.
So thank you! Thank you for your help!
Joe, I got the name of a counselor who helped my coworker's kid.
Granted, he was beating up dogs, so it's different.
But it might help. Just stop!
I just want to help.
[scoffs] Oh. Since when?
You never, ever wanted to help.
You couldn't help me when I had to put Dad into rehab.
Dad is in rehab? Yeah.
And guess who had to do everything 'cause you couldn't be reached?
Well, I didn't know. If you'd told me, I would've done--
You would've what? I would've done something!
No, no. You would've written a check. Yes!
I don't want your money, Kate. I want a sister!
Guys, we have an area for families to fight.
It's on the second-floor terrace.
Do you want to go?
No. I don't.
Shit.
You go ahead. I'm gonna take it slow.
Okay. Thanks.
Hey. Jill?
Hello.
I'm really sorry about the garage.
And I'm really sorry about tackling you in front of your kids.
I'm sorry, too.
What are we doing?
- Do you want to come over for a glass of wine? - [engine revs]
Okay. [tires screech]
Fuck her.
♪ I don't wanna be funny Anymore ♪
[indistinct chatter and laughter]
♪ Lately I've been feeling ♪
♪ Like the odd man out ♪
♪ I hurt my friends Saying things I don't mean Out loud... ♪
Jesus!
Uhh!
♪ I don't want the joke ♪
♪ To be on me ♪
♪ Yeah, I'll buy the clothes And I'll be the best dressed ♪
♪ Yeah, I'll read the books ♪
♪ And I'll be the smartest ♪
♪ I'll play guitar ♪
♪ And I'll be the artist ♪
♪ Try not to laugh ♪
♪ I know it'll be hard ♪
♪ I'm serious ♪
♪ I know it's a first But... ♪
[men speaking indistinctly]
His ashes? Yeah, right over the park.
Get out. You're making this up.
[Kate] Hey, Dad.
Kate.
Good to see you.
What are you doing here?
Well...
I finally decided to face my addiction to drugs and alcohol.
- Joe tell you about the DUI? - No, he didn't.
But I actually meant all this... all this stuff.
Oh, we're putting on a talent show this weekend.
They tell you to pick a recovery song.
So I chose Phil Collins' "Against All Odds."
Should... Should be good.
- Let's, uh... Let's sit. Let's sit. - Yeah.
Um, you want a snack or something?
No, I'm... I'm fine.
So, how's work? It's good.
Yeah? Yeah.
Good. Sorry I haven't been around for the last few...
Years.
Well, hey, you know,
we never were a really tight-knit group.
Your mom and I fought all the time, and...
you kids did what you had to do to get through it.
I just want to say I'm glad you came.
You know, I'm here for you.
We can talk anytime.
Yeah.
It's just that I'm starting to think that I'm not very happy.
You know? All I do is work.
I don't go on dates. I sleep in my office.
Uh-huh. You...
You should grab a pamphlet, you know?
They're everywhere. Good stuff.
Yeah. Good stuff.
Look, I'm... I'm...
sorry I wasn't a better father to you.
And it sounds like you're going through some stuff right now.
I wish I had some advice.
[man] Hey, Charlie!
Oh, I gotta rehearse.
Want to stay and watch a little bit?
Sure. Okay. Good.
Okay. [clears throat]
[piano playing] This on? Check. Hello?
Hello? Can someone turn the mic-- [microphone feedback]
[shouts]
Good work, guys. Really good. That's right.
Your kicks are getting really high, man. That's really good.
Stop spitting at him.
Hey.
Hi.
I just wanted to see if I could catch Maddie. I wanted to say hi.
She, um... She didn't come in today.
Oh.
She was in the hospital.
What... What happened?
I fed her too much chicken Parm.
Yeah, she's allergic to tomatoes.
Wow. Okay.
Anyway, I just...
thought you should know.
Hey.
[sighs]
Do you want to do some karate?
[Kate screams]
What happens if somebody has a gun?
Oh, God. Man, I hate that question.
It's like... ugh.
Yeah, because you'd be screwed.
Hey, hey. I hate that.
[Cheryl] You don't remember a Maddie? Wait.
Our checks go through every single month.
You've never seen our daughter?
Aside from the first time, when you met me,
you've never seen her? Kate, what are you doing here?
Just doing some karate. Is Maddie with you?
Because I dropped her off at ballet, and now she's not here.
She doesn't do ballet. She hates ballet.
I told her to tell you months ago. But she comes here.
Who are you, man? I'm Sensei Pete.
...in her leotard in her dance skirt... This is my dojo.
I teach your daughter karate.
You're a black belt?
[all speaking at once]
That's so cool. That's years of work.
Licensed weapons, man.
It's not like the movies. You should come in.
I tried when I was a kid. I got to brown belt--
Where is our daughter?
- [Cheryl] Stop the car. - [Joe] God.
Okay.
What? This is a gas station, Kate!
I know. She's usually right here by the...
by the propane tanks. Oh, that's good.
Hi. Is Baby Joker here?
Who? Dennis.
Oh, yeah. He went down there to the gathering.
Oh. Magic: The Gathering.
Okay. So she's with nerds. We're good.
Oh, no, no. The juggalo gathering.
[gasps] Oh, no.
What? What's a juggalo?
Basically all the horrible people in the planet
and multiply that by like, I don't know, 10,000.
And then put them all together, getting drunk, eating funnel cakes
and vandalizing public property, and then you have the Gathering of the Juggalos.
Yeah.
Okay.
Hey, sorry for your loss.
Hurry up!
Just get in the car! Come on!
[Joe] Oh, man. I always thought I'd be the one
to take her to her first concert. Joe!
[music pounding]
Whoop, whoop!
[shouting]
♪ Kick the clown In the forehead ♪
♪ And I'm jugglin' Jugglin' yo head ♪
- ♪ Jed ♪ - ♪ You big, fat Redneck, muddy-ass hick ♪
♪ I'm a city slicker ♪
♪ And I'm comin' to get ya Hit ya ♪
♪ And the carnival's Gonna get wit' ya ♪
♪ Oh, I might as well Mention... ♪
[Cheryl] Oh, my God. I can't believe I was worried about her doing karate.
[Joe] Okay, wait. This isn't that bad.
The guy's shirt says "Harvard."
Oh, God. It says "hatred."
Where's the entrance? How do we get in?
Honey, we should've gotten more cash. Do you have any cash?
All right, babe. Can you just calm down, please? We'll figure it out.
[Kate] Maybe it'll be over soon, and we can just wait this out.
We're not gonna wait it out! If Mad is in there, I'm gonna go in there and find her!
[screams]
Oh, God.
Yeah, I know. I saw him, too.
I saw him. All right. Breathe.
Maybe there's just like, a gate we pay at?
A gate? There's no sense of commerce here.
That guy has a knife in his leg.
That is a knife. Hey, man, you good?
Yo, you need some wristbands?
Yes, we do. Do you have an extra?
I got one extra. Okay.
Two hundred.
Two hundred. Great. We'll take it.
All right? That's everything.
Just give me the wristband. Hold on.
Y'all don't look like juggalos.
In fact, you look like my mom.
And she's a bitch, and I hate her.
Okay, I'm going in there to get my daughter,
and she's 11. No.
- You ain't got no titties. - [Cheryl] What?
Grow your ass a pair of titties and you can come in.
[Kate] Hey, excuse me.
I have titties.
[juggalo] Okay, titties.
Let's go to the Hell Wagon.
Hey, hey. Use the special moves that I showed you.
She'll be fine. Yeah. She's got this.
[cheering]
[screaming]
[cheering and shouting continues]
This is terrifying.
♪ I get mad I'm-a fuck you up ♪
♪ It's me and you, motherfucker I'm-a fuck you up ♪
♪ You done fucked up now I'm-a fuck you up ♪
♪ They hit me with A tranquilizer dart And shocking me with Tasers ♪
♪ But still I'm throwing kicks And punches faster than lasers ♪
♪ Fifteen coppers on me Like a mini fucking army ♪
♪ They can't harm me 'Cause I'm madder Than a mutant zombie ♪
♪ One by one I throw 'em off me Like a raging gorilla ♪
♪ Pissed off like a rattlesnake Roaring like Godzilla ♪
♪ I flipped they cars over Somehow got away clean ♪
♪ I didn't show my painted face Again until the gathering ♪
♪ I get mad I'm-a fuck you up ♪
♪ It's me and you, motherfucker I'm-a fuck you up... ♪
And I was like, "Thank God the rain came."
'Cause there was no way to get that vomit off me.
Uh, hi. Excuse me. I'm sorry to bug you.
- Huh. - I'm wondering if you've seen a girl.
What'd she look like? She's 11.
No shit?
You lost your kid. Man, that's not good.
No. Why would you bring a kid here? What's wrong with you?
I didn't bring her here. Why would you do that? Kids need strong boundaries.
They need to know that you're in charge. You can't just bring a kid here
and let them do whatever they want.
I 100 percent agree with you.
I'm just asking if you've seen a...
Tell me again what she looks like. A girl.
'Cause I'm on a lot of drugs right now.
She has brown hair. Do you have ecstasy?
I think she was wearing... No, I don't.
Ninjas, ninjettes!
Juggalos and juggalettes!
It's about damn time!
Get ready for this year's Miss Juggalette Pageant!
- Whoop, whoop! - [all] Whoop, whoop!
Juggalettes, bring your fine asses on out here!
Whoo!
Show me right now. Just come with us.
Straitjacket, kick that shit, man!
All right, what's your name?
Yo. Becca.
Becca, what's up? Where you from?
Great Falls! [laughs]
Down with the Clowns till I'm dead in the ground. Whoop, whoop.
All right, she's from Great Falls or some shit.
What you gonna do for the juggalos tonight?
Oh, I'm already fuckin' hardcore crumpin'! Whoop, whoop.
Hardcore crumpin'. Give it up for Rebecca!
Whoop, whoop!
Yo, judges, what do you figure? Would you give her a nine?
Two? I'm sorry. Excuse me.
Um, I'm looking for my niece.
[booing] Her name is Maddie.
She's here by herself. She's, uh...
Show us your butthole!
I can't... I can't do that.
She's, um, brunette. She's kind of tall...
um, for her age.
Hold up! She's looking for a kid!
Yeah. Yeah, I am. I'm looking for a kid.
Um...
She's 11. She's kind of tall.
She's like, I don't know. Like, maybe that tall.
[man] When'd you last see her?
Um, her name is Maddie.
Hey, Maddie! Maddie!
[all] Maddie! Maddie!
Maddie! Maddie!
[shouting continues]
Maddie! Maddie!
Can't have a kid out there lost like that.
[crowd chanting] Maddie! Maddie! Maddie! Maddie!
Maddie! Maddie! Maddie!
Let's find this fuckin' kid.
[crowd] Maddie! Maddie! Maddie!
[Kate] Maddie!
Maddie!
Maddie?
Hey, you don't see her?
Ohh!
How's it looking, Steve?
Oh, that's fucked up, man.
Hey! That's her!
Maddie, stop! Stop making me run!
Uhh! Ow!
Maddie. Get off of me.
I'm sorry. What are you doing?
What are you doing here?
I told you. I'm a juggalo.
[sighs] So, what?
You're gonna paint your face like a clown person
until you're unrecognizable?
Yes.
And what else does this lifestyle change entail?
I'd need a street name.
Got it. It's a ton of work to change your name.
Requires lots of forms, just so you know.
Sometimes I get so confused.
And then I get upset because everyone else is so normal.
Maddie...
nobody is normal.
I mean, do you see where we are right now?
Easy for you to say. You're perfect.
Maddie, I'm a mess.
I work all the time to avoid myself.
And I never know what to do with my arms.
My last romantic relationship was six years ago.
And that was basically because I just started following this guy around.
You followed him around?
I just kind of put myself in places he was at,
and then we'd make out sometimes. Ugh.
That's not a relationship. I know.
Look, nobody knows what they're doing.
And besides, everyone's a freak at the core. Right?
Your face is painted. I know.
A nice girl named Raven of Sin did it for me.
And your parents are here.
I know. You did this to yourself.
Let's go.
I saw they have a pretzel stand.
You want some salt?
No, I get it, guys. I followed Phish for like, three months.
Billy Joel's Storm Front Tour. Great stuff.
So, you guys like, take time off work?
Oh, my God! Baby, hi.
Oh, I was so worried.
Is she okay? She's okay, right?
Was she in one piece? Sensei Pete!
[Joe] Okay, now, you're in so much trouble.
Who... Who are all these kids?
Those are Maddie's new friends.
We were only gone a week, Kate.
I know they look offensive
and they play with their spit
and all their songs are about stabbing people
and they have no intention of fitting into society
- and they work at places like Lids. - That's too many things.
But once you get past all that,
they're really kind of sweet.
Okay. I...
I didn't mean to be hard on you.
I just really want Maddie to have friends.
I just don't want it to be hard for her like it was for me.
Maddie is perfect.
All she needs is you.
You really stink. And you look terrifying.
Yeah, I know. I know that I do. Let's go.
Let's go!
Bye, B.J. Later, Maddie.
I got a tattoo.
Oh, come on. What?
Is she serious?
Are you serious? It's removable.
Later, Throat Slasher. Bye, guys.
Peace. See ya.
[Kate] Hey, Sarah?
I wanted to give you these.
They're the projections we're gonna be using
on the Parsons account for the next six months.
So you will be all up to speed when you get back.
Thanks.
Hey.
We're skipping out early to grab a bite.
You want to come?
Yeah. Yeah, I would.
- Where are you guys going? - Mahoney's.
Why? That place sucks.
Well, that's where we're going.
Okay, cool.
Cool, I'm just gonna go grab my stuff.
- Don't leave, okay? - Hurry up.
Hey, Barb. I'm taking off early with Dan and Sarah.
So if you want to head out, you can. Oh.
I just need you to clean up my office before you go.
Oh.
Bruce!
Hey.
Erin, how's it going? It's great.
You got that big presentation tomorrow. Yeah.
All right, well, try and get some sleep.
You're gonna do great.
But no so great if you don't sleep at all.
I hate this. Okay.
Hey, guys.
Um, I'm ready.
Hi. [Joe] Hi.
Hi.
So, I forgot the salad, but I brought you some wine.
Ooh, that's a lot of wine for an afternoon, but let's dance.
Well... Hey. Hi. Hi.
Are you hungry now? Do you want some cheese or something?
Uh, no, I'm good. My assistant and I
had a big lunch at Macaroni Grill. Huh?
It was all right. Mmm.
Wow! Looking sharp.
I made some new weapons. Do you want to see?
Oh, Maddie, Aunt Kate just got here.
Let's let her relax a little bit. No, I do.
I want to see your new weapons. Let's go.
[Cheryl] Have fun, but don't get too dirty. We're gonna eat soon.
Let's see.
Oh. Nice.
This one's mine? Mm-hmm.
Okay.
How are those mean girls doing?
Hmm, they've been dormant.
Really? That's pretty good.
Did you go see Sensei Pete yesterday?
Maybe.
[grunting]
Just not so hard this time.
Why? You jealous of my moves?
'Cause I'm scared of you.
[laughing]
♪ The new kid on my street ♪
♪ She kind of looks like me ♪
[both grunting] You're getting good at this.
[laughter and grunting]
♪ We like to sing This song in harmony ♪
♪ And her mama sings, too ♪
♪ And the old man Taps his shoe... ♪
Family is everywhere. It ain't about who you are,
where you come from.
It's about showing respect and love to everybody, man.
I think the family term comes from when people gather like this.
Individually, you're a juggalo. But when we gather together,
everybody has each other's back.
If you're low on water, if you're low on food, we got you.
You know what I mean? If you need a place to sleep, we got you.
In my mind, juggalo is like, the way you love, the way you live.
It ain't got nothin' to do with all the negative things
that everybody make it out to be.
[boy] I'm raised like a juggalo, but...
I ain't that clear what a juggalo is right now.
I was born a juggalo, but I didn't find out till I was 16 years old.
Everybody that's a fuckin' juggalo is here.
They might not know till they're 30, 40, 50.
You can't really explain a juggalo, man. You really can't.
These motherfuckers are random as shit.
[man] I remember my very first time
I actually got invited to like, a juggalo party.
You know, I'm a big guy. Like, they fuckin' just accept me.
I remember one juggalo told me, he was like,
"The bigger you are, the more to love."
And I was like, "What?" This is not a gang.
This is fuckin' beautiful. This is family.
Don't forget: When you're at the gathering of the motherfuckin' juggalos,
call your mom. Call your mom.
♪ We're all young together ♪
[song fades out]
[new song begins]
♪ It all felt like a dream ♪
♪ Tell me now What's growing of me ♪
♪ The years felt Like a breeze ♪
♪ As they passed us by ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Time feels like a road ♪
♪ Never know which way It'll go ♪
♪ It's a one-way thing ♪
♪ We can't turn back ♪
♪ And we always say good-bye ♪
♪ We leave and change I don't know why ♪
♪ But we keep the old times ♪
♪ In our minds ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh ♪
♪ And we always say good-bye ♪
♪ We leave and change I don't know why ♪