1
00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:41,286
Subtitles by explosiveskull

2
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Corky, why don't you
tell us your story.

3
00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:06,988
Well, as you know,
my story is not a

4
00:01:06,990 --> 00:01:09,324
"really tragic" story,

5
00:01:09,326 --> 00:01:10,759
unless...

6
00:01:10,761 --> 00:01:12,696
boredom is tragic.

7
00:01:13,797 --> 00:01:15,330
I, um...

8
00:01:15,332 --> 00:01:16,831
you know, I was married.

9
00:01:16,833 --> 00:01:21,069
I had every comfort
you could ask for.

10
00:01:21,071 --> 00:01:24,375
I thought that's what was gonna
make my life meaningful.

11
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I just stopped wanting
to go to parties, and...

12
00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:33,350
play tennis...

13
00:01:35,351 --> 00:01:37,351
with my girlfriends.

14
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For the record,
I'd like to say

15
00:01:38,988 --> 00:01:40,688
that I think
I'd rather iron sheets

16
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than play tennis any day.

17
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When I was,
uh, about 11 years old,

18
00:01:46,729 --> 00:01:50,065
I lived with my grandmother
near the Black Forest, and...

19
00:01:50,067 --> 00:01:53,367
in a little house,
second floor...

20
00:01:53,369 --> 00:01:55,869
and I had a cat.

21
00:01:55,871 --> 00:01:58,072
Her name was Fifi.

22
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Well, I did get an Oregon
Cultural Heritage Award.

23
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Ah, these awards
are not important.

24
00:02:04,113 --> 00:02:06,146
- Please.
- Okay.

25
00:02:06,148 --> 00:02:08,149
I got a prescription
for Valium,

26
00:02:08,151 --> 00:02:11,485
which at least
made the days go...

27
00:02:11,487 --> 00:02:13,121
by quicker.

28
00:02:13,123 --> 00:02:15,355
Yeah, okay,
there's this rock

29
00:02:15,357 --> 00:02:18,727
that was about this big
that had these grooves in it,

30
00:02:18,729 --> 00:02:21,361
like, uh, you know,
little bumps, and I said,

31
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"Well, Aunt Janey,
what is this?"

32
00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:26,101
And she said, "What?
You don't know what that is?"

33
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And I was like, "No."

34
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And she's like,
"Well, that's my titty rock."

35
00:02:29,473 --> 00:02:31,506
And I was like,
"Your titty rock?"

36
00:02:31,508 --> 00:02:33,942
She was like, "Yeah, my titty rock."

37
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"That's for when
you get in fights with girls.

38
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You punch 'em
in the tit with it."

39
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Not joking, not kidding.

40
00:02:38,782 --> 00:02:41,448
Then one day, I just, like,

41
00:02:41,450 --> 00:02:45,455
took off all my clothes
and walked down the street.

42
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And...

43
00:02:49,192 --> 00:02:50,924
the mailman...

44
00:02:50,926 --> 00:02:52,160
found me and...

45
00:02:52,162 --> 00:02:53,995
he brought me home and

46
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called my husband,
like I was a child.

47
00:02:56,466 --> 00:02:59,900
And I, you know, I'm still
wearing my wedding ring, but...

48
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I'm...

49
00:03:01,538 --> 00:03:03,103
divorced now, and I'm...

50
00:03:03,105 --> 00:03:04,938
I'm much happier.

51
00:03:04,940 --> 00:03:07,744
Maybe life's actually
not supposed to be...

52
00:03:08,844 --> 00:03:11,181
as meaningful
as we think it is.

53
00:03:12,516 --> 00:03:14,181
- Thanks, Corky.
- Thanks, Corky.

54
00:03:14,183 --> 00:03:15,885
Mm.

55
00:04:50,914 --> 00:04:52,614
<i>Ladies and gentlemen,</i>

56
00:04:52,616 --> 00:04:56,150
<i>please welcome to the stage
Portland's celebrity cartoonist</i>

57
00:04:56,152 --> 00:04:58,518
<i>John Callahan!</i>

58
00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:16,537
Hi. My name is John,
and I'm an alcoholic.

59
00:05:16,539 --> 00:05:19,140
Hi, John.

60
00:05:19,142 --> 00:05:21,042
It's good to be here.

61
00:05:21,044 --> 00:05:23,176
The last day that I walked,

62
00:05:23,178 --> 00:05:26,246
I... I woke up
without a hangover.

63
00:05:31,186 --> 00:05:34,621
The last day I walked,
I woke up without a hangover.

64
00:05:34,623 --> 00:05:37,558
I was still loaded
from drinking the night before.

65
00:06:00,717 --> 00:06:04,318
I knew I had an hour or so
of grace before the...

66
00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:06,621
nervousness...

67
00:06:08,024 --> 00:06:10,127
of withdrawal symptoms set in.

68
00:06:23,238 --> 00:06:26,207
What if I lost control,
flipped out?

69
00:06:27,376 --> 00:06:28,978
Fuck.

70
00:06:35,185 --> 00:06:37,652
The closest store
where I could buy booze

71
00:06:37,654 --> 00:06:40,324
was near a major intersection.

72
00:06:52,001 --> 00:06:54,068
- How are you?
- Staying cool?

73
00:06:54,070 --> 00:06:55,436
- It's hot out there, isn't it?
- Yeah.

74
00:06:55,438 --> 00:06:57,337
- Good beach weather.
- Yeah. Whew.

75
00:06:57,339 --> 00:06:59,207
<i>I tried to talk to the</i>

76
00:06:59,209 --> 00:07:02,143
owner of the store
and act real casual.

77
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I work for Alvarado
house painter.

78
00:07:03,212 --> 00:07:05,046
- Oh.
- We got tons of work.

79
00:07:05,048 --> 00:07:08,248
Oh, you know, like I had
everything under control.

80
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But...

81
00:07:10,053 --> 00:07:13,121
they'd have to be blind
not to see my hand shaking.

82
00:07:13,123 --> 00:07:14,789
Um...

83
00:07:14,791 --> 00:07:18,325
Yeah, I guess I'll just
take that, uh, Tres Abuelos.

84
00:07:18,327 --> 00:07:20,097
Yeah, tequila.

85
00:08:07,277 --> 00:08:08,779
Hey, how's it going?

86
00:08:09,779 --> 00:08:11,412
Wow, pretty groovy day, huh?

87
00:08:11,414 --> 00:08:13,181
Oh, yeah.

88
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- Surf's coming up.
- Yeah.

89
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Sky gets any bluer,

90
00:08:16,719 --> 00:08:18,518
it'll be singing
a Muddy Waters tune.

91
00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:20,390
Sorry?

92
00:08:21,724 --> 00:08:23,323
I'm a songwriter.

93
00:08:23,325 --> 00:08:26,426
I listen to a lot
of different music.

94
00:08:26,428 --> 00:08:28,328
- Um...
- Want a drink?

95
00:08:28,330 --> 00:08:30,097
I'm... I'm good.

96
00:08:30,099 --> 00:08:32,232
Um, I'll see you around
sometime, okay?

97
00:08:32,234 --> 00:08:33,404
Oh. All right.

98
00:08:40,275 --> 00:08:42,442
You've got
a problem, Callahan.

99
00:08:45,314 --> 00:08:47,447
I know three things
about my real mother:

100
00:08:47,449 --> 00:08:50,350
she was Irish-American,
she had red hair,

101
00:08:50,352 --> 00:08:52,119
she was a school teacher.

102
00:08:52,121 --> 00:08:53,790
Oh, yeah.

103
00:08:55,357 --> 00:08:57,358
And she didn't want me.

104
00:08:57,360 --> 00:08:58,792
Okay.

105
00:08:58,794 --> 00:09:01,295
Four things.

106
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The way with illegitimate
Catholic babies in those days

107
00:09:04,534 --> 00:09:07,268
was to remove them
from the mother of birth...

108
00:09:07,270 --> 00:09:09,803
...and put them in the care
of the nuns for six months

109
00:09:09,805 --> 00:09:12,508
in case the natural mother
should change her mind.

110
00:09:14,144 --> 00:09:16,377
Was my mother a queen?

111
00:09:16,379 --> 00:09:18,879
Was she a whore?

112
00:09:18,881 --> 00:09:20,848
Could I locate her
and surprise her,

113
00:09:20,850 --> 00:09:22,282
say, at a bank teller's window?

114
00:09:22,284 --> 00:09:24,518
"Yeah, I'd like
to cash this check, Mom."

115
00:09:56,419 --> 00:09:58,554
Oh, fuck. Help!

116
00:10:02,292 --> 00:10:04,425
- Oh, hey.
- Dude, you wiped out.

117
00:10:04,427 --> 00:10:06,393
- Nice.
- Can you help me up?

118
00:10:06,395 --> 00:10:08,229
- Yeah, all right.
- Easy, though.

119
00:10:08,231 --> 00:10:09,964
- Okay.
- All right, now, nice and easy.

120
00:10:09,966 --> 00:10:11,364
Don't try and show off.

121
00:10:11,366 --> 00:10:12,432
Yeah! Oh!

122
00:10:12,434 --> 00:10:13,633
Here, come around, turn around.

123
00:10:13,635 --> 00:10:14,634
- Here we go.
- All right.

124
00:10:14,636 --> 00:10:16,269
- Okay.
- Watch it.

125
00:10:16,271 --> 00:10:18,372
- Careful, careful.
- There we go. There we go.

126
00:10:18,374 --> 00:10:20,273
Yeah, lift him up.

127
00:10:20,275 --> 00:10:22,276
- You guys smell that?
- Oh, what's that smell?

128
00:10:22,278 --> 00:10:24,311
- Oh, that-that reeks, man.
- Oh.

129
00:10:24,313 --> 00:10:26,379
Yeah, pull up that
right leg right there.

130
00:10:26,381 --> 00:10:27,949
- Right here?
- Yeah.

131
00:10:27,951 --> 00:10:29,450
- You got it, dude.
- Yeah.

132
00:10:29,452 --> 00:10:30,951
Yeah, you lift up
that right pant leg there.

133
00:10:30,953 --> 00:10:32,652
Be brave.

134
00:10:32,654 --> 00:10:35,956
Yeah, just attach that
into the white thing.

135
00:10:35,958 --> 00:10:37,291
All right.

136
00:10:37,293 --> 00:10:39,326
- Thank you.
- You draw this?

137
00:10:39,328 --> 00:10:40,860
- Yeah.
- Whoa.

138
00:10:40,862 --> 00:10:42,330
- You get it?
- Awesome. Dude.

139
00:10:42,332 --> 00:10:43,630
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

140
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:46,566
Don't worry, boys.

141
00:10:46,568 --> 00:10:48,469
He won't get far on foot.

142
00:10:48,471 --> 00:10:50,003
It's a wheelchair.

143
00:10:50,005 --> 00:10:51,605
He can't get far
because he's injured, right?

144
00:10:51,607 --> 00:10:53,306
- That's right. Yeah.
- Okay, all right!

145
00:10:53,308 --> 00:10:54,709
Yeah, well, you know,

146
00:10:54,711 --> 00:10:56,509
my grandmom's
in a wheelchair, so...

147
00:10:56,511 --> 00:10:57,711
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

148
00:10:57,713 --> 00:10:59,312
- Sorry about that.
- Yeah.

149
00:10:59,314 --> 00:11:01,315
I draw these for a living,
but, you know,

150
00:11:01,317 --> 00:11:02,383
people get mad at me
'cause of the subject matter.

151
00:11:02,385 --> 00:11:04,351
- Not us.
- That's ridiculous.

152
00:11:04,353 --> 00:11:05,952
- These are awesome.
- All right. Cool.

153
00:11:05,954 --> 00:11:07,455
- Is that a car crash?
- Yeah.

154
00:11:07,457 --> 00:11:09,023
- What is that?
- There's, like, a dead guy

155
00:11:09,025 --> 00:11:10,358
- under the car.
- Are those all booze and stuff?

156
00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:11,625
Whoa.

157
00:11:11,627 --> 00:11:13,027
There's a five-dollar bill

158
00:11:13,029 --> 00:11:14,262
in my left shirt pocket.

159
00:11:14,264 --> 00:11:16,265
Go get me a short case.

160
00:11:34,049 --> 00:11:37,384
Oh, they could do it
and they'll do it over there!

161
00:11:45,028 --> 00:11:46,359
Hey, Snickers.

162
00:11:46,361 --> 00:11:48,329
How was your day?

163
00:11:48,331 --> 00:11:50,534
Did you find any time
to get in some exercise?

164
00:11:58,374 --> 00:12:00,675
You fucking asshole!

165
00:12:00,677 --> 00:12:02,310
You're fucking late!

166
00:12:02,312 --> 00:12:03,944
I've been sitting here
all goddamn day!

167
00:12:03,946 --> 00:12:05,680
It's been fucking wet!

168
00:12:05,682 --> 00:12:08,548
I got shit all over my pants
and there's no fucking drinks!

169
00:12:08,550 --> 00:12:10,518
You didn't leave me
a goddamn fucking drink!

170
00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:11,951
It's been three fucking hours!

171
00:12:11,953 --> 00:12:13,687
What do you
actually fucking do?

172
00:12:13,689 --> 00:12:17,023
I signed up to be
your attendant, not your slave.

173
00:12:17,025 --> 00:12:20,527
Bossing me around, you fucking
don't even give me five seconds

174
00:12:20,529 --> 00:12:22,529
before you're telling me
what to do.

175
00:12:22,531 --> 00:12:25,332
I told you I fucking hate it
when you give me orders.

176
00:12:25,334 --> 00:12:27,335
I'm gonna get to it
when I feel like it, John.

177
00:12:27,337 --> 00:12:28,969
All right?
How would you like it

178
00:12:28,971 --> 00:12:31,041
if I started pushing
you around all day?

179
00:12:34,744 --> 00:12:36,476
I'll give you a bath
in a minute.

180
00:12:36,478 --> 00:12:39,013
I need to wind down.
Here you go.

181
00:12:39,015 --> 00:12:41,385
Celebrate your independence.

182
00:12:54,364 --> 00:12:56,364
<i>President Carter's standing</i>

183
00:12:56,366 --> 00:13:00,033
<i>in our NBC News Associated
Press poll has declined again.</i>

184
00:13:00,035 --> 00:13:03,403
<i>Not much, but the decline
has been steady.</i>

185
00:13:03,405 --> 00:13:05,705
<i>This is one of the findings
in our latest telephone sample</i>

186
00:13:05,707 --> 00:13:08,508
<i>of the opinions
of about 1,600 people</i>

187
00:13:08,510 --> 00:13:10,009
<i>around the country last week.</i>

188
00:13:27,396 --> 00:13:31,632
<i>I drink,
I hit rock bottom.</i>

189
00:13:31,634 --> 00:13:35,034
<i>And I'd drink more
and hit rock bottom again.</i>

190
00:13:35,036 --> 00:13:38,873
<i>I had to admit to myself that
I was powerless over alcohol.</i>

191
00:13:38,875 --> 00:13:41,441
<i>I was searching
for something else.</i>

192
00:13:41,443 --> 00:13:43,779
You sure you want to go
to an A.A. meeting, John?

193
00:13:45,180 --> 00:13:47,350
I've never really believed
in their whole thing.

194
00:14:05,802 --> 00:14:07,801
Oh, I'm sorry,

195
00:14:07,803 --> 00:14:10,807
but, uh, we can't have anybody
quite this grotesque in here.

196
00:14:12,507 --> 00:14:14,542
For the love of God, I'm Reba.

197
00:14:14,544 --> 00:14:16,676
Oh, hi. I'm John.

198
00:14:16,678 --> 00:14:19,382
Welcome to the Alano Club.

199
00:14:20,817 --> 00:14:22,715
I thought you were serious.

200
00:14:22,717 --> 00:14:24,518
No dogs, no quads.

201
00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:26,456
No. Come on, now.

202
00:14:35,497 --> 00:14:37,163
God, grant me the serenity...

203
00:14:37,165 --> 00:14:40,768
To accept the things
I cannot change,

204
00:14:40,770 --> 00:14:43,737
the courage to change
the things I can,

205
00:14:43,739 --> 00:14:45,809
and the wisdom
to know the difference.

206
00:14:47,143 --> 00:14:49,413
Anyone under 90 days?

207
00:14:51,481 --> 00:14:54,481
Hi, I'm Felix,
and I'm an alcoholic.

208
00:14:54,483 --> 00:14:56,683
Hi, Felix.

209
00:14:56,685 --> 00:14:58,585
- Hi, guys. Uh...
- Welcome.

210
00:14:58,587 --> 00:15:00,220
This is day 14.

211
00:15:00,222 --> 00:15:01,891
Good job.

212
00:15:06,629 --> 00:15:08,696
Uh, hi. I'm Joseph.

213
00:15:08,698 --> 00:15:09,830
I'm an alcoholic.

214
00:15:09,832 --> 00:15:11,865
Hi, Joseph.

215
00:15:11,867 --> 00:15:13,767
Today, I have 56 days.

216
00:15:13,769 --> 00:15:16,539
Awesome.

217
00:15:18,540 --> 00:15:20,773
It's tough, 'cause,
you know, out there,

218
00:15:20,775 --> 00:15:22,542
I feel like people want to hear

219
00:15:22,544 --> 00:15:24,744
how many years
you've been sober.

220
00:15:24,746 --> 00:15:26,913
But, uh, you know, coming here,

221
00:15:26,915 --> 00:15:30,783
I'm reminded how special it is
that I'm where I'm at, so...

222
00:15:30,785 --> 00:15:33,753
I remember a time when I didn't
think 30 days was possible,

223
00:15:33,755 --> 00:15:37,191
but here I am, so... thank you.

224
00:15:42,631 --> 00:15:44,697
Anyone else want to speak?

225
00:15:44,699 --> 00:15:46,300
My name's John Callahan,

226
00:15:46,302 --> 00:15:47,968
and I don't know
who my real mother is,

227
00:15:47,970 --> 00:15:50,474
and I was paralyzed
in a car accident.

228
00:15:52,542 --> 00:15:54,642
And...

229
00:15:54,644 --> 00:15:57,545
and I'm an alcoholic.

230
00:15:57,547 --> 00:15:59,812
Hi, John.

231
00:15:59,814 --> 00:16:01,882
Good to know you,
John Callahan,

232
00:16:01,884 --> 00:16:04,284
who is an alcoholic.

233
00:16:04,286 --> 00:16:07,654
You're in the right place,
I think.

234
00:16:07,656 --> 00:16:09,590
I'm Donnie,
and I'm an alcoholic.

235
00:16:09,592 --> 00:16:11,558
Hi, Donnie.

236
00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:13,192
Hi.

237
00:16:13,194 --> 00:16:16,297
And when I first entered
the program,

238
00:16:16,299 --> 00:16:19,832
I had two pairs of pants,

239
00:16:19,834 --> 00:16:22,235
one with shit in them
and one without.

240
00:16:24,307 --> 00:16:27,974
And I didn't care which one
of them I was wearing.

241
00:16:30,011 --> 00:16:34,248
Today, I celebrate mediocrity.

242
00:16:34,250 --> 00:16:38,051
I woke up and I put on
a non-shitty pair of pants.

243
00:16:38,053 --> 00:16:42,022
And I walked to get a cup of coffee,

244
00:16:42,024 --> 00:16:44,291
and it was fucking delicious.

245
00:16:44,293 --> 00:16:47,628
And my day's been pretty good,

246
00:16:47,630 --> 00:16:50,630
until I came in here
and saw all of you.

247
00:16:53,336 --> 00:16:55,702
Continue your story, John.

248
00:16:55,704 --> 00:16:57,971
Oh, right.

249
00:16:57,973 --> 00:17:00,373
The story. Um...

250
00:17:00,375 --> 00:17:03,813
Well, I got back to
the house around 4:00,

251
00:17:05,014 --> 00:17:09,049
<i>and saw Jesus Alvarado, my...</i>

252
00:17:09,051 --> 00:17:10,854
<i>employer.</i>

253
00:17:16,691 --> 00:17:19,326
Shit.

254
00:17:19,328 --> 00:17:21,031
John, what's up?

255
00:17:23,832 --> 00:17:26,065
I want you to meet Bill.

256
00:17:26,067 --> 00:17:27,734
- Hey.
- Hey.

257
00:17:27,736 --> 00:17:32,039
My small-town experience was...

258
00:17:32,041 --> 00:17:35,309
limited concerning disability.

259
00:17:35,311 --> 00:17:37,011
- How you doing? John.
- Good, good.

260
00:17:37,013 --> 00:17:39,816
<i>Jesus wanted me
to look at the guy's pen.</i>

261
00:17:41,883 --> 00:17:43,018
Check that out.

262
00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:46,022
Got to turn it upside down.

263
00:17:50,426 --> 00:17:53,327
Uh, I went inside for a drink.

264
00:17:54,964 --> 00:17:57,363
I'm coming back for events.

265
00:17:57,365 --> 00:17:59,332
- Oh, my God, I've lost it.
- Ah! Yes!

266
00:17:59,334 --> 00:18:00,967
- What's going on?
- I've lost the touch.

267
00:18:00,969 --> 00:18:02,069
- My shoe!
- Hi, John.

268
00:18:02,071 --> 00:18:04,103
- This is Bonnie.
- Oh, hi.

269
00:18:04,105 --> 00:18:05,673
I hear you're from,
um, Oregon.

270
00:18:05,675 --> 00:18:06,974
That's right.

271
00:18:06,976 --> 00:18:08,742
What do you guys
do up there for fun?

272
00:18:08,744 --> 00:18:10,343
Well, there's not a lot to do
in Oregon, you know?

273
00:18:10,345 --> 00:18:12,079
So a certain percentage of
the population drives down here

274
00:18:12,081 --> 00:18:13,946
to Long Beach to look for jobs.

275
00:18:13,948 --> 00:18:16,449
We are going to a party
tonight, if you want to come.

276
00:18:16,451 --> 00:18:17,451
Oh, really?

277
00:18:17,453 --> 00:18:18,952
- Uh-huh.
- Yeah.

278
00:18:18,954 --> 00:18:20,387
- Well...
- Want to drive us there?

279
00:18:20,389 --> 00:18:22,324
- I mean, I... Ooh.
- Oh.

280
00:18:25,761 --> 00:18:26,726
Oh.

281
00:18:26,728 --> 00:18:28,462
We're...

282
00:18:28,464 --> 00:18:30,930
We're getting
in trouble tonight.

283
00:18:30,932 --> 00:18:32,398
Am I happy?

284
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:34,767
No. So...

285
00:18:34,769 --> 00:18:36,770
Divorced? Yeah.

286
00:18:36,772 --> 00:18:38,138
I'm seeing a couple guys now.

287
00:18:38,140 --> 00:18:40,773
I've been going to therapy.
Have you ever gone?

288
00:18:40,775 --> 00:18:43,409
It'd be so good for you.

289
00:18:43,411 --> 00:18:44,744
Just gotten off meat.

290
00:18:44,746 --> 00:18:46,080
Been kicking dairy.

291
00:18:46,082 --> 00:18:49,015
I'm gonna do life
without eggs now.

292
00:18:49,017 --> 00:18:52,820
Hey, um, I just need to use
the bathroom really quick.

293
00:18:52,822 --> 00:18:55,121
- Will you... will you be here?
- Uh, yeah. Okay.

294
00:19:17,479 --> 00:19:20,813
Hey, Terry, where's that girl
I was just talking to?

295
00:19:20,815 --> 00:19:23,082
- Um, the redhead girl?
- Yeah.

296
00:19:23,084 --> 00:19:24,984
I think she just left
with some friends.

297
00:19:24,986 --> 00:19:26,753
- She left the party?
- Mm-hmm.

298
00:19:26,755 --> 00:19:28,755
Well, good for her.

299
00:19:28,757 --> 00:19:30,757
- You guys are still here.
- She got places to be.

300
00:19:30,759 --> 00:19:32,059
- You're stuck with us.
- Yeah.

301
00:19:32,061 --> 00:19:35,495
- Nah.
- Far fucking out. Dexter.

302
00:19:35,497 --> 00:19:38,398
I'm Dexter.
Hey. I'm Dexter.

303
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:40,134
John.

304
00:19:40,136 --> 00:19:41,400
- John.
- Yeah.

305
00:19:41,402 --> 00:19:43,137
How 'bout that girl?

306
00:19:43,139 --> 00:19:46,005
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.

307
00:19:46,007 --> 00:19:47,107
She left.

308
00:19:47,109 --> 00:19:50,077
- She was digging you, man.
- Yeah.

309
00:19:50,079 --> 00:19:52,079
Yeah. Take you home,

310
00:19:52,081 --> 00:19:55,983
have a little sophisticated
L.A. sex.

311
00:19:55,985 --> 00:19:58,217
No, all she wanted to do
was talk about her colon.

312
00:19:58,219 --> 00:20:02,523
That's what all people in L.A.
talk about, their colons.

313
00:20:02,525 --> 00:20:04,858
And that's 'cause
they're all assholes.

314
00:20:04,860 --> 00:20:07,226
Yes. Where are you from?

315
00:20:07,228 --> 00:20:11,130
Ah, shit.
Turn that shit off, man!

316
00:20:11,132 --> 00:20:12,099
- Making me sick!
- What are you talking about?

317
00:20:12,101 --> 00:20:14,100
- Too much Dylan!
- Too much Dylan?

318
00:20:14,102 --> 00:20:16,203
- You don't know what you're talking about.
- Oh, the answer,

319
00:20:16,205 --> 00:20:17,571
- my friend, is blowin' in the wind.
- He's a poet, man!

320
00:20:17,573 --> 00:20:20,174
The answer, my friend,
is getting blown

321
00:20:20,176 --> 00:20:22,208
- In the wind
- You sound like an idiot.

322
00:20:22,210 --> 00:20:24,878
- What are you...
- The answer's getting blown

323
00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:26,946
In the wind.

324
00:20:26,948 --> 00:20:28,182
Guy's getting blown,

325
00:20:28,184 --> 00:20:30,149
and he's whining about it!

326
00:20:30,151 --> 00:20:32,285
He's not talking about
getting blown.

327
00:20:32,287 --> 00:20:36,523
- Getting blown in the wind, you fucking moron!
- I know!

328
00:20:36,525 --> 00:20:38,826
I was fucking with you!

329
00:20:41,897 --> 00:20:43,030
You think I don't know?

330
00:20:43,032 --> 00:20:44,831
Johnny, Johnny,

331
00:20:44,833 --> 00:20:46,567
listen to me, listen to me.

332
00:20:46,569 --> 00:20:48,534
Seriously.

333
00:20:48,536 --> 00:20:51,871
I know a party that's ten times
better than this shit-bag.

334
00:20:51,873 --> 00:20:55,274
Let's go there now.
There's ten times hotter babes.

335
00:20:55,276 --> 00:20:59,279
We plow the Milagro Beanfield.

336
00:21:01,483 --> 00:21:03,583
Huh? You and me.

337
00:21:03,585 --> 00:21:04,584
Come on.

338
00:21:04,586 --> 00:21:07,087
What a promise.

339
00:21:08,489 --> 00:21:12,091
I guess we thought
that "the babes"

340
00:21:12,093 --> 00:21:15,628
were fairer
on the other side of town.

341
00:21:15,630 --> 00:21:18,564
So I left Terry
and her friends,

342
00:21:18,566 --> 00:21:22,202
and we headed
to the next party.

343
00:21:22,204 --> 00:21:26,205
But not before we got
even more wasted.

344
00:21:26,207 --> 00:21:28,274
Hey. Clink it.

345
00:21:31,045 --> 00:21:33,280
Keep 'em comin', bro!

346
00:21:34,582 --> 00:21:36,052
Oh.

347
00:21:38,053 --> 00:21:39,919
Some people tell me I look like Burt Reynolds.

348
00:21:39,921 --> 00:21:41,288
I don't see it.

349
00:21:41,290 --> 00:21:43,189
Do you see it?

350
00:21:43,191 --> 00:21:45,591
- Yeah. I do.
- Thank you.

351
00:21:45,593 --> 00:21:47,593
- You're a sexy man.
- Thank you, man!

352
00:21:47,595 --> 00:21:50,196
You're a sexy man.

353
00:21:50,198 --> 00:21:52,666
Can you keep 'em comin'?
I don't want to say it.

354
00:21:55,271 --> 00:21:58,605
I know you got a lot of people
up and down to take care of,

355
00:21:58,607 --> 00:22:00,573
but 'member
who the main customer...

356
00:22:00,575 --> 00:22:02,642
How 'bout the whole bottle?

357
00:22:02,644 --> 00:22:04,911
How 'bout the whole bottle?

358
00:22:04,913 --> 00:22:06,914
How 'bout the whole bottle?

359
00:22:06,916 --> 00:22:09,249
Is that good enough?

360
00:22:09,251 --> 00:22:11,651
- Hey. Don't get sad.
- No.

361
00:22:11,653 --> 00:22:13,222
There's so many more.

362
00:22:15,623 --> 00:22:18,358
Keep 'em comin', bro.
We talked about this.

363
00:22:23,198 --> 00:22:25,564
Take the wheel.

364
00:22:27,236 --> 00:22:29,202
I'm back.

365
00:22:30,572 --> 00:22:32,140
Wash it down?

366
00:22:36,277 --> 00:22:38,344
Guess who you're driving with.

367
00:22:38,346 --> 00:22:41,982
I'm the cunnilingus king
of Orange County, man.

368
00:22:41,984 --> 00:22:45,017
I just love yodeling into it.

369
00:22:48,223 --> 00:22:51,390
Oh, shit!
That's Scott's Adventure Land!

370
00:22:51,392 --> 00:22:53,426
That's Scott's Adventure Land!

371
00:22:53,428 --> 00:22:55,728
What's
Scott's Adventure Land?

372
00:22:55,730 --> 00:22:57,164
You never been
to Scott's Adventure Land?

373
00:22:57,166 --> 00:22:58,665
I never been to...
Let's go there.

374
00:22:58,667 --> 00:23:00,300
Make a U-turn.

375
00:23:00,302 --> 00:23:02,601
Just fucking jump
over the wall, man.

376
00:23:20,221 --> 00:23:23,125
Oh, yeah. Oh, God.

377
00:23:27,196 --> 00:23:28,264
Draw!

378
00:23:29,398 --> 00:23:31,197
Oh, really?

379
00:23:31,199 --> 00:23:32,666
Don't be a fool, buddy.

380
00:23:32,668 --> 00:23:35,438
You just tussled
with the wrong cowboy.

381
00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:41,340
You son of a...

382
00:23:41,342 --> 00:23:43,342
No!

383
00:23:43,344 --> 00:23:45,180
No!

384
00:23:55,423 --> 00:23:57,657
- My car, I drive.
- You're in no condition to drive, my friend.

385
00:23:57,659 --> 00:23:59,458
- My car, I drive.
- I'm gonna take the fucking keys.

386
00:23:59,460 --> 00:24:02,294
- Hey. Hey.
- I'm gonna take the fucking keys.

387
00:24:02,296 --> 00:24:04,296
- You guys are in no condition to drive!
- Aah!

388
00:24:21,350 --> 00:24:23,719
Babes.

389
00:24:43,304 --> 00:24:45,237
<i>And that was it.</i>

390
00:24:45,239 --> 00:24:49,810
<i>Dexter had mistaken a Con
Edison light pole for an exit</i>

391
00:24:49,812 --> 00:24:52,748
and slammed into it
at 90 miles an hour.

392
00:25:09,230 --> 00:25:12,232
Let me know
when you're ready. I think...

393
00:25:12,234 --> 00:25:14,736
On three. One, two, three.

394
00:25:20,309 --> 00:25:23,079
Hello, John. I'm Dr. Mirione.

395
00:25:26,215 --> 00:25:28,148
Bright, bright lights.

396
00:25:28,150 --> 00:25:30,349
Surprisingly noisy, isn't it?

397
00:25:30,351 --> 00:25:32,852
Well, there's very little
peace and quiet for the dying

398
00:25:32,854 --> 00:25:34,353
and nearly dying.

399
00:25:34,355 --> 00:25:36,322
I'm dying?

400
00:25:36,324 --> 00:25:39,292
The average survival time for
catastrophic patients here is 12 hours.

401
00:25:39,294 --> 00:25:43,295
Nasty accident you had
in that Volkswagen.

402
00:25:43,297 --> 00:25:44,464
I saw the car.

403
00:25:44,466 --> 00:25:48,368
Looks terrible.
Looked terrible.

404
00:25:50,272 --> 00:25:52,238
I can't hear you. Talk louder.

405
00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:54,808
What happened to the driver?

406
00:25:54,810 --> 00:25:56,342
What happened to Dexter?

407
00:25:56,344 --> 00:25:57,577
Oh, Dexter Marzynski?

408
00:25:57,579 --> 00:26:00,246
He walked away
with a few scratches.

409
00:26:00,248 --> 00:26:01,784
He was very, very lucky.

410
00:26:03,784 --> 00:26:05,217
Jesus Christ.

411
00:26:05,219 --> 00:26:07,154
My heart really
goes out to you.

412
00:26:07,156 --> 00:26:09,625
I mean, possibly paralyzed
for life.

413
00:26:11,392 --> 00:26:13,426
Nice sunrise, though.

414
00:26:19,267 --> 00:26:22,505
<i>Susan Henry
to the nurses' station.</i>

415
00:27:15,256 --> 00:27:16,892
Hey.

416
00:27:18,326 --> 00:27:20,262
Let's see here.

417
00:27:22,264 --> 00:27:24,863
This is a C5, C6,

418
00:27:24,865 --> 00:27:28,267
which is a complete
cervical six lesion.

419
00:27:28,269 --> 00:27:30,236
Uh, good shoulder movement.

420
00:27:30,238 --> 00:27:33,305
Uh, complete paralysis
of the body and legs.

421
00:27:33,307 --> 00:27:34,474
No finger movement,
but good, uh...

422
00:27:34,476 --> 00:27:37,010
I'm not an imposter.

423
00:27:37,012 --> 00:27:39,346
- I'm a real quadriplegic.
- Spinal cord severed

424
00:27:39,348 --> 00:27:41,481
between the fifth
and sixth vertebrae,

425
00:27:41,483 --> 00:27:43,449
counting down from the top.

426
00:27:43,451 --> 00:27:46,886
Somewhere between decathlon
champion and rigor mortis.

427
00:27:46,888 --> 00:27:49,421
...half his deltoid,
half his, uh, diaphragm.

428
00:27:49,423 --> 00:27:52,658
But if he's not careful,
he can choke to death. Yeah.

429
00:27:52,660 --> 00:27:58,298
Uh, this patient over here is
a C4-5 neurologically intact.

430
00:27:58,300 --> 00:28:01,301
Uh, a tibia plateau fracture.

431
00:28:01,303 --> 00:28:04,372
Not as catastrophic an injury.

432
00:28:16,551 --> 00:28:18,717
Hi, John.

433
00:28:18,719 --> 00:28:20,355
My name is Annu.

434
00:28:21,523 --> 00:28:22,722
Wow.

435
00:28:22,724 --> 00:28:24,593
You're very good-looking.

436
00:28:34,002 --> 00:28:36,305
How are things
going here, John?

437
00:28:37,505 --> 00:28:40,040
It's bad.

438
00:28:40,042 --> 00:28:43,576
It's really bad.

439
00:28:43,578 --> 00:28:45,411
I can't move.

440
00:28:45,413 --> 00:28:47,946
I can't feel my body,
and where I can,

441
00:28:47,948 --> 00:28:50,349
it just hurts.

442
00:28:50,351 --> 00:28:52,686
I can't take a whiz
or anything.

443
00:28:52,688 --> 00:28:54,721
I just feel like
I'm going fucking crazy.

444
00:28:54,723 --> 00:28:56,322
Yeah.

445
00:28:56,324 --> 00:28:59,091
Yeah, it doesn't sound
like it's going too well.

446
00:28:59,093 --> 00:29:02,395
No, it doesn't.

447
00:29:02,397 --> 00:29:03,763
It's awful.

448
00:29:03,765 --> 00:29:06,369
I just don't even know
how I'm gonna, like...

449
00:29:08,003 --> 00:29:10,770
I don't know how I can live
any life after this.

450
00:29:10,772 --> 00:29:14,407
I just feel like
I'm not gonna have any future.

451
00:29:14,409 --> 00:29:16,642
And the doctors
don't tell me anything,

452
00:29:16,644 --> 00:29:21,447
but it looks like I'm just
gonna be like this for life.

453
00:29:21,449 --> 00:29:23,416
I can't understand this.

454
00:29:23,418 --> 00:29:25,385
Doesn't seem fair.

455
00:29:25,387 --> 00:29:29,022
John, you're a very
special person.

456
00:29:29,024 --> 00:29:31,524
I feel it.

457
00:29:32,361 --> 00:29:34,360
I brought you some flowers.

458
00:29:34,362 --> 00:29:36,428
I hope you like them.

459
00:29:36,430 --> 00:29:38,365
Thank you.

460
00:29:38,367 --> 00:29:39,802
Can I smell them?

461
00:29:44,706 --> 00:29:46,406
That's nice. Thank you.

462
00:29:46,408 --> 00:29:49,376
Would you like me
to rub your shoulders?

463
00:29:49,378 --> 00:29:51,547
Yes, please.

464
00:29:52,581 --> 00:29:54,613
It was a lovely day out.

465
00:29:54,615 --> 00:29:56,014
Very hot.

466
00:29:56,016 --> 00:29:58,385
Drove here in my convertible.

467
00:29:58,387 --> 00:30:01,388
Do you really think
I'm good-looking?

468
00:30:01,390 --> 00:30:04,157
Yes, you're very good-looking.
That hasn't changed.

469
00:30:04,159 --> 00:30:06,059
And you have
tremendous strength.

470
00:30:06,061 --> 00:30:09,428
You'll go on to have
a wonderful life. I can tell.

471
00:30:09,430 --> 00:30:11,766
I pray that I will.

472
00:30:13,401 --> 00:30:15,769
I make prayers to God,
you know.

473
00:30:15,771 --> 00:30:18,737
I remember
all the promises to God

474
00:30:18,739 --> 00:30:23,542
and pacts with the devil
made by characters in Dickens

475
00:30:23,544 --> 00:30:27,147
or, like, "Rosemary's Baby,"

476
00:30:27,149 --> 00:30:30,617
to, you know, like, change
history and make things better

477
00:30:30,619 --> 00:30:32,685
or escape horrible fates.

478
00:30:32,687 --> 00:30:36,488
And what do you say to God?

479
00:30:36,490 --> 00:30:40,193
I say, "Please,
don't let me be paralyzed."

480
00:30:40,195 --> 00:30:42,195
I just can't be paralyzed.

481
00:30:42,197 --> 00:30:44,597
Things work out
for John Callahan.

482
00:30:44,599 --> 00:30:47,199
I'm just not one of the ones
who ends up paralyzed.

483
00:30:47,201 --> 00:30:49,104
I just can't be.

484
00:30:50,639 --> 00:30:53,676
And what about when you're
talking to the devil, John?

485
00:30:56,178 --> 00:30:59,446
I say, "I'll give you anything.

486
00:30:59,448 --> 00:31:03,582
Anything you want,
just change this."

487
00:31:03,584 --> 00:31:05,420
And you're from Oregon?

488
00:31:06,521 --> 00:31:08,487
That's your home?

489
00:31:08,489 --> 00:31:09,722
Yes.

490
00:31:09,724 --> 00:31:11,827
Yes. The...

491
00:31:13,195 --> 00:31:15,164
The Dalles.

492
00:31:22,603 --> 00:31:24,704
It's sort of a hick town.

493
00:31:28,810 --> 00:31:31,477
We're a bunch of gomers.

494
00:31:31,479 --> 00:31:34,112
Gomers? What is "gomers"?

495
00:31:34,114 --> 00:31:38,184
I like how you say it.
"Gomers."

496
00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:42,187
I don't know.
I think it just...

497
00:31:42,189 --> 00:31:44,256
you know, it, like, means
you're from the country.

498
00:31:44,258 --> 00:31:46,192
It's derogatory.

499
00:31:46,194 --> 00:31:47,760
Ah.

500
00:31:47,762 --> 00:31:49,561
Where are you from?

501
00:31:49,563 --> 00:31:51,196
From Stockholm.

502
00:31:51,198 --> 00:31:53,699
There's a lot of fishing there,
lots of salmon.

503
00:31:53,701 --> 00:31:55,570
Oh, same with The Dalles.

504
00:31:57,605 --> 00:32:00,205
- Yeah?
- Yeah, lots of salmon.

505
00:32:00,207 --> 00:32:02,175
Now we have something
in common.

506
00:32:02,177 --> 00:32:04,944
I think we have
a lot in common, John.

507
00:32:04,946 --> 00:32:06,913
Yeah. Salmon.

508
00:32:06,915 --> 00:32:08,918
And we're both gomers.

509
00:32:10,685 --> 00:32:12,284
And what else, John?

510
00:32:12,286 --> 00:32:13,956
I look at the sunrise.

511
00:32:15,623 --> 00:32:17,890
- The sunrise is nice.
- Mm-hmm.

512
00:32:17,892 --> 00:32:21,261
It's very calming.

513
00:32:21,263 --> 00:32:23,466
I've been watching
the gymnasts out there.

514
00:32:37,312 --> 00:32:39,678
I have to go to my next
appointment now, John.

515
00:32:39,680 --> 00:32:41,680
But I'll be seeing
you again soon.

516
00:32:41,682 --> 00:32:43,818
- When?
- One day next week.

517
00:32:45,754 --> 00:32:48,186
Very nice to meet you, John.

518
00:32:48,188 --> 00:32:50,223
I like meeting you, too, Annu.

519
00:32:50,225 --> 00:32:53,560
Thank you.
Thank you for my flowers.

520
00:32:53,562 --> 00:32:54,929
See you soon.

521
00:32:56,331 --> 00:32:57,900
Bye.

522
00:33:04,939 --> 00:33:06,738
I'm glad I met Annu.

523
00:33:06,740 --> 00:33:09,708
What about us, John?
Aren't you glad you met us?

524
00:33:09,710 --> 00:33:11,311
John doesn't like us.

525
00:33:11,313 --> 00:33:12,779
Well, of course I like you.

526
00:33:12,781 --> 00:33:15,281
I just can't get laid
with any of you.

527
00:33:15,283 --> 00:33:17,586
Have you tried?

528
00:33:19,787 --> 00:33:21,656
Well, have you tried?

529
00:33:23,291 --> 00:33:25,992
One, two and three.

530
00:33:25,994 --> 00:33:27,025
Here we go.

531
00:33:27,027 --> 00:33:28,594
All right.

532
00:33:28,596 --> 00:33:30,663
Adjust him on three.

533
00:33:30,665 --> 00:33:32,865
One, two, three.

534
00:33:32,867 --> 00:33:34,333
- There we go.
- There you go.

535
00:33:34,335 --> 00:33:35,637
All set.

536
00:33:39,707 --> 00:33:41,608
That's the power button
right here.

537
00:33:41,610 --> 00:33:43,279
Enjoy.

538
00:34:13,907 --> 00:34:15,677
Oh.

539
00:35:13,968 --> 00:35:15,734
Oh.

540
00:35:16,970 --> 00:35:18,738
Ah.

541
00:35:18,740 --> 00:35:20,338
Ah, nice shot.

542
00:35:20,340 --> 00:35:23,041
- Hey, man. How you doing?
- Pretty good. How you doing?

543
00:35:23,043 --> 00:35:25,343
Pretty good.
We're just shooting some hoops.

544
00:35:25,345 --> 00:35:26,812
Fucking "A."

545
00:35:26,814 --> 00:35:28,347
I'm John.

546
00:35:28,349 --> 00:35:30,885
- Charles-Marie. Welcome.
- Nice to meet you. Thanks.

547
00:35:41,863 --> 00:35:44,430
<i>Sexual
activity is an opportunity</i>

548
00:35:44,432 --> 00:35:46,399
<i>to get to know yourself again.</i>

549
00:35:46,401 --> 00:35:49,135
<i>It's an opportunity
to build confidence.</i>

550
00:35:49,137 --> 00:35:52,104
After your accident, John,
your body doesn't have

551
00:35:52,106 --> 00:35:54,407
ordinary psychogenic
erections anymore,

552
00:35:54,409 --> 00:35:57,744
so you have to use
reflexogenic erections.

553
00:35:57,746 --> 00:36:00,079
Reflexogenic erections.

554
00:36:00,081 --> 00:36:02,080
Sounds sexy.

555
00:36:02,082 --> 00:36:05,151
So, how would I go about
achieving that?

556
00:36:05,153 --> 00:36:07,186
- Can you demonstrate?
- Behave.

557
00:36:07,188 --> 00:36:09,088
Have you thought about

558
00:36:09,090 --> 00:36:10,823
asking that little nurse
of yours

559
00:36:10,825 --> 00:36:12,524
to sit on your face
some night, John?

560
00:36:12,526 --> 00:36:15,995
Hey, Lilly,
may I ask you a question?

561
00:36:15,997 --> 00:36:18,898
Sure, yeah.
Ask me anything. Anything.

562
00:36:18,900 --> 00:36:21,166
Can you sit on my face?

563
00:36:21,168 --> 00:36:27,140
That's a shocking
yet wildly exciting idea.

564
00:36:27,142 --> 00:36:28,508
But no. I mean...

565
00:36:28,510 --> 00:36:30,108
Would that be appropriate?

566
00:36:30,110 --> 00:36:32,410
Who cares if it's appropriate?

567
00:36:32,412 --> 00:36:33,845
John.

568
00:36:33,847 --> 00:36:35,183
You're thinking about it.

569
00:36:39,253 --> 00:36:41,189
Good night.

570
00:36:44,825 --> 00:36:45,992
Did you hear that?

571
00:36:45,994 --> 00:36:47,526
You scored.

572
00:36:47,528 --> 00:36:49,162
Not quite.

573
00:36:49,164 --> 00:36:51,196
She'll be back.

574
00:36:51,198 --> 00:36:53,099
My job's
to get you the erection.

575
00:36:53,101 --> 00:36:54,901
That's all I care about.

576
00:36:54,903 --> 00:36:57,202
Worse she could say is no,
and if she says no,

577
00:36:57,204 --> 00:36:59,872
then you come back and ask me.

578
00:36:59,874 --> 00:37:01,106
That's a deal.

579
00:37:01,108 --> 00:37:03,142
Reflexogenic simply means

580
00:37:03,144 --> 00:37:06,044
that it has to be
from the touch, okay?

581
00:37:06,046 --> 00:37:07,146
If she sits there...

582
00:37:08,148 --> 00:37:10,216
...the touch will stimulate

583
00:37:10,218 --> 00:37:14,153
blood flow to here,
hence causing an erection.

584
00:37:14,155 --> 00:37:17,122
Okay?

585
00:37:19,059 --> 00:37:21,193
- Really?
- But you can't just think about it.

586
00:37:21,195 --> 00:37:23,162
You can't just
imagine it anymore.

587
00:37:33,006 --> 00:37:34,140
- Are you feeling me?
- Yeah.

588
00:37:34,142 --> 00:37:35,908
That's where my dick
used to be.

589
00:37:41,182 --> 00:37:42,615
Pull it.

590
00:37:42,617 --> 00:37:45,084
I'm trying to get
further and further.

591
00:37:45,086 --> 00:37:47,019
And down.

592
00:37:47,021 --> 00:37:48,220
Can you do it?

593
00:37:48,222 --> 00:37:51,591
Annu, sometimes
I just want to drink.

594
00:37:51,593 --> 00:37:56,195
You know, it doesn't seem fair
that we can't have a drink.

595
00:37:56,197 --> 00:37:57,629
But, you know, we can go

596
00:37:57,631 --> 00:38:00,233
to Tiny's Tavern
on the weekends

597
00:38:00,235 --> 00:38:02,100
and drink as much as we want.

598
00:38:02,102 --> 00:38:03,635
Might give it to us for free,

599
00:38:03,637 --> 00:38:05,303
you know, 'cause
they feel bad for us.

600
00:38:05,305 --> 00:38:07,138
You know, we milk it.

601
00:38:10,311 --> 00:38:12,245
Oh, you're not gonna believe
what happened the other night.

602
00:38:12,247 --> 00:38:15,180
So, we're coming back
from Tiny's Tavern,

603
00:38:15,182 --> 00:38:17,916
me and Charles-Marie,
and we're crossing

604
00:38:17,918 --> 00:38:20,321
the railroad tracks
on our way back here.

605
00:38:21,889 --> 00:38:24,289
And Charles-Marie's chair
got stuck

606
00:38:24,291 --> 00:38:26,024
in the railroad tracks.

607
00:38:26,026 --> 00:38:27,329
Shit!

608
00:38:29,997 --> 00:38:32,999
And he said, "Let me die.

609
00:38:33,001 --> 00:38:35,635
Let me die.
It's better this way."

610
00:38:35,637 --> 00:38:38,137
Just let me die!
It's better this way!

611
00:38:38,139 --> 00:38:41,140
Grab on to my chair.
Grab on to my chair!

612
00:38:43,278 --> 00:38:45,912
And you know what's funny?

613
00:38:45,914 --> 00:38:48,013
He meant it.

614
00:38:48,015 --> 00:38:53,019
I think, in that moment,
he really wanted to die.

615
00:38:53,021 --> 00:38:54,921
That's not very funny, John.

616
00:38:54,923 --> 00:38:56,923
That sounds dangerous.

617
00:39:00,260 --> 00:39:02,197
All in a day of being a quad.

618
00:39:14,175 --> 00:39:15,240
Hello.

619
00:39:15,242 --> 00:39:17,276
Hey, uh, is this Donnie?

620
00:39:17,278 --> 00:39:19,111
Yeah, who's this?

621
00:39:19,113 --> 00:39:20,312
<i>Hey, Donnie,
this is John Callahan.</i>

622
00:39:20,314 --> 00:39:23,316
I'm the neon cripple
from outer space.

623
00:39:23,318 --> 00:39:25,184
Oh, the man
with the tangerine hair?

624
00:39:25,186 --> 00:39:29,055
Well, I always thought
of my hair as electric orange,

625
00:39:29,057 --> 00:39:30,622
but, yeah, that's me.

626
00:39:30,624 --> 00:39:34,026
<i>Uh, look, I got your number
off the board.</i>

627
00:39:34,028 --> 00:39:36,195
<i>I'm calling because</i>

628
00:39:36,197 --> 00:39:38,296
I need a sponsor.

629
00:39:38,298 --> 00:39:41,233
I do have a lot of piglets
at the moment.

630
00:39:41,235 --> 00:39:43,970
<i>What are piglets?
I need a sponsor.</i>

631
00:39:43,972 --> 00:39:45,338
My sponsees are piglets.

632
00:39:46,606 --> 00:39:48,274
That's funny.

633
00:39:48,276 --> 00:39:50,276
- <i>Wow.</i>
- You want me to help you get sober.

634
00:39:50,278 --> 00:39:53,079
Well, I saw you speak, and, uh,

635
00:39:53,081 --> 00:39:55,314
I really like
what you had to say

636
00:39:55,316 --> 00:39:57,249
<i>about the two pairs of pants
and the woman's...</i>

637
00:39:57,251 --> 00:39:59,318
See, John, I know. I just...

638
00:39:59,320 --> 00:40:01,120
<i>And I don't know
if you're serious.</i>

639
00:40:01,122 --> 00:40:02,187
Oh, Jesus Christ.

640
00:40:02,189 --> 00:40:03,222
Oh, I call him Chucky.

641
00:40:03,224 --> 00:40:05,124
What?

642
00:40:05,126 --> 00:40:07,059
<i>I don't know, John Callahan.
I don't...</i>

643
00:40:07,061 --> 00:40:08,394
I'm serious. I am serious.

644
00:40:08,396 --> 00:40:10,428
I... you know,
sometimes I just, I make jokes

645
00:40:10,430 --> 00:40:15,100
'cause I get nervous, but I'm,
I-I need, I need something.

646
00:40:15,102 --> 00:40:16,736
<i>You know...</i>

647
00:40:16,738 --> 00:40:21,273
every day,
like clockwork at 4:00 p.m.,

648
00:40:21,275 --> 00:40:24,010
I get massively depressed.

649
00:40:24,012 --> 00:40:26,111
<i>Well, I'm depressed
from the moment I wake up,</i>

650
00:40:26,113 --> 00:40:28,446
- so got you there.
- <i>Listen.</i>

651
00:40:28,448 --> 00:40:32,218
We're having a group talk,
my place on Saturday.

652
00:40:32,220 --> 00:40:33,686
<i>Why don't you drop by?</i>

653
00:40:33,688 --> 00:40:35,287
Ooh, a talk?

654
00:40:35,289 --> 00:40:36,722
<i>We'll talk about Chucky.</i>

655
00:40:36,724 --> 00:40:38,657
The other piglets
are coming by at 1:00.

656
00:40:38,659 --> 00:40:40,059
4014 Northwest Johnson.

657
00:40:40,061 --> 00:40:41,794
- <i>Don't be late.</i>
- Tim.

658
00:40:41,796 --> 00:40:43,294
4014 Northwest Johnson.

659
00:40:43,296 --> 00:40:45,363
- 1:00 p.m.
- Are you talking to me?

660
00:40:45,365 --> 00:40:47,666
- All right, thank you. I'll see you then.
- Okay.

661
00:40:47,668 --> 00:40:50,137
Drink water. Bye.

662
00:40:53,140 --> 00:40:54,407
40... Wait, what was it?

663
00:40:54,409 --> 00:40:56,776
- 4014 Southwest Johnson.
- Okay.

664
00:40:56,778 --> 00:40:59,412
Let's go.

665
00:40:59,414 --> 00:41:02,113
Hey, Sam, get back
and clean up this mess.

666
00:41:02,115 --> 00:41:04,216
And get out of here
and go grab some PT.

667
00:41:04,218 --> 00:41:06,318
You grab some PT.

668
00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:08,153
- Hi.
- Oh.

669
00:41:08,155 --> 00:41:09,187
- Oh, hi.
- Oh, sorry.

670
00:41:09,189 --> 00:41:10,222
- That's okay.
- Hi.

671
00:41:10,224 --> 00:41:11,490
Hi. I'm Debbie.

672
00:41:11,492 --> 00:41:13,792
- Hi, I'm John.
- Hi, what's up?

673
00:41:13,794 --> 00:41:15,193
Um, I'm gonna go out
to the park.

674
00:41:15,195 --> 00:41:17,195
- Do you want to come with me?
- Uh...

675
00:41:17,197 --> 00:41:19,832
fuck, today is Monday.

676
00:41:19,834 --> 00:41:21,466
- Fuck yeah.
- Yes?

677
00:41:21,468 --> 00:41:23,702
- Oh, yeah.
- Thank you. Good, let's go.

678
00:41:23,704 --> 00:41:26,405
Okay.

679
00:41:30,845 --> 00:41:33,379
<i>♪ Gonna have
a funky, good time... ♪</i>

680
00:41:33,381 --> 00:41:35,146
You did it. You did it.

681
00:41:35,148 --> 00:41:36,347
Yeah.

682
00:41:38,285 --> 00:41:41,720
<i>♪ Gonna have
a funky, good time ♪</i>

683
00:41:41,722 --> 00:41:44,222
<i>♪ Gonna have a funky,
good time ♪</i>

684
00:41:44,224 --> 00:41:45,825
<i>♪ Take 'em up ♪</i>

685
00:41:45,827 --> 00:41:47,093
<i>♪ Gotta take you ♪</i>

686
00:41:47,095 --> 00:41:52,263
<i>♪ Higher ♪</i>

687
00:41:52,265 --> 00:41:55,267
<i>♪ Gotta take you higher... ♪</i>

688
00:42:00,740 --> 00:42:02,541
<i>♪ Gonna have
a funky, good time... ♪</i>

689
00:42:02,543 --> 00:42:04,309
Got it. Yeah.

690
00:42:04,311 --> 00:42:07,146
<i>♪ Gonna have
a funky, good time... ♪</i>

691
00:42:07,148 --> 00:42:08,446
You got it. You got it.

692
00:42:08,448 --> 00:42:11,117
- Hey, you're a good dancer.
- Oh, well...

693
00:42:11,119 --> 00:42:12,584
<i>♪ Play it, Georgia ♪</i>

694
00:42:12,586 --> 00:42:14,352
<i>♪ Gonna have
a funky, good time ♪</i>

695
00:42:14,354 --> 00:42:15,887
<i>♪ Take 'em up ♪</i>

696
00:42:15,889 --> 00:42:17,189
<i>♪ Gotta take you ♪</i>

697
00:42:17,191 --> 00:42:21,163
<i>♪ Higher ♪</i>

698
00:42:23,296 --> 00:42:24,296
<i>♪ Gotta take you ♪</i>

699
00:42:24,298 --> 00:42:28,470
<i>♪ Higher ♪</i>

700
00:42:35,242 --> 00:42:36,274
Hello.

701
00:42:36,276 --> 00:42:37,510
Hey, is-is Donnie here?

702
00:42:37,512 --> 00:42:39,345
- Yeah, he is.
- Oh.

703
00:42:39,347 --> 00:42:41,312
- Hi, I'm John.
- Hi, John.

704
00:42:41,314 --> 00:42:44,249
- I'm so sorry we're late.
- How you doing?

705
00:42:44,251 --> 00:42:46,352
John, welcome to the group.

706
00:42:46,354 --> 00:42:47,586
Hi. Thanks. Sorry we're late.

707
00:42:47,588 --> 00:42:49,787
- Oh...
- Tim thought it was Southwest.

708
00:42:49,789 --> 00:42:51,524
- Why'd you think Southwest?
- It's okay.

709
00:42:51,526 --> 00:42:53,425
Yeah, Southwest,
but we got here, didn't we?

710
00:42:53,427 --> 00:42:55,294
This is Reba,
who I think you've met.

711
00:42:55,296 --> 00:42:59,231
- Hello.
- Martingale, Corky, Hans, Mike.

712
00:42:59,233 --> 00:43:00,231
- Hi.
- Hello.

713
00:43:00,233 --> 00:43:01,367
Welcome.

714
00:43:01,369 --> 00:43:03,234
That's Tim.

715
00:43:03,236 --> 00:43:04,570
- Welcome, Tim.
- Tim.

716
00:43:04,572 --> 00:43:06,539
- Hi, Tim.
- Hello, Tim.

717
00:43:06,541 --> 00:43:09,374
And now that we're
getting all acquainted,

718
00:43:09,376 --> 00:43:10,876
how was everyone's week?

719
00:43:10,878 --> 00:43:12,244
Anybody want to speak?

720
00:43:12,246 --> 00:43:14,180
Um, I have something
to talk about.

721
00:43:14,182 --> 00:43:16,314
Oh, John, just so you know,
since you're new here,

722
00:43:16,316 --> 00:43:17,249
I'm a poet.

723
00:43:17,251 --> 00:43:19,318
A street poet.

724
00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:21,287
And a gay activist.

725
00:43:21,289 --> 00:43:23,622
So, I was
at the Pendleton Round-Up,

726
00:43:23,624 --> 00:43:27,193
and I took the opportunity
to read one of my poems,

727
00:43:27,195 --> 00:43:30,829
which has in it a number
of references to young cocks.

728
00:43:30,831 --> 00:43:32,830
This is it.

729
00:43:32,832 --> 00:43:35,367
"Hot...

730
00:43:35,369 --> 00:43:37,303
in the summer sun.

731
00:43:37,305 --> 00:43:41,273
Working all day, hustling hay.

732
00:43:41,275 --> 00:43:43,943
It's getting harder

733
00:43:43,945 --> 00:43:46,312
and harder

734
00:43:46,314 --> 00:43:48,247
and harder...

735
00:43:48,249 --> 00:43:51,450
ready to pop
out of their button fly.

736
00:43:51,452 --> 00:43:52,654
Pop!

737
00:43:53,653 --> 00:43:54,954
Pop!"

738
00:43:54,956 --> 00:43:57,323
We got it. Pop!

739
00:43:57,325 --> 00:44:00,358
- Pop! It's all about penises, please.
- Oh, stop.

740
00:44:00,360 --> 00:44:03,329
And just like that,
some cowboy stops me

741
00:44:03,331 --> 00:44:05,330
and says my poem is X-rated.

742
00:44:05,332 --> 00:44:07,899
And you don't think it was?

743
00:44:07,901 --> 00:44:09,468
No. It wasn't.

744
00:44:09,470 --> 00:44:11,570
It was a red-blooded,
American poem.

745
00:44:11,572 --> 00:44:13,472
All right.

746
00:44:13,474 --> 00:44:15,608
So, the cowboy tells me
to stop, and I say to him,

747
00:44:15,610 --> 00:44:18,611
"I'm an American
reading an American poem

748
00:44:18,613 --> 00:44:21,347
about an American institution."

749
00:44:21,349 --> 00:44:22,948
He didn't like that.

750
00:44:22,950 --> 00:44:25,283
He accused me of being drunk.

751
00:44:25,285 --> 00:44:28,553
I say to him, "I've been sober
now for three years.

752
00:44:28,555 --> 00:44:31,423
I'm a proud member of A.A."

753
00:44:31,425 --> 00:44:32,957
And I walked off.

754
00:44:32,959 --> 00:44:36,028
Anyone want to respond
to Martingale's story?

755
00:44:36,030 --> 00:44:38,930
Well, the poems make
straight guys angry.

756
00:44:38,932 --> 00:44:41,399
- I'm not angry, Hans.
- See?

757
00:44:41,401 --> 00:44:43,901
But here's the thing:
that kind of anger

758
00:44:43,903 --> 00:44:46,472
can get in the way
of your recovery.

759
00:44:46,474 --> 00:44:49,475
I think we can all agree
that being out there

760
00:44:49,477 --> 00:44:52,977
and having a good time...
not drinking, we get it...

761
00:44:52,979 --> 00:44:54,445
feels really good.

762
00:44:54,447 --> 00:44:56,582
But it's one thing
to read your poems

763
00:44:56,584 --> 00:44:58,383
in front of people
that you know

764
00:44:58,385 --> 00:45:00,419
in your Greek cafes
late at night,

765
00:45:00,421 --> 00:45:03,354
but it's another to read it in
front of rednecks at a rodeo.

766
00:45:03,356 --> 00:45:05,356
It's a little bit dangerous.

767
00:45:05,358 --> 00:45:07,026
- I think he was really brave.
- Mm.

768
00:45:07,028 --> 00:45:08,526
- Yeah, I do, too, Martingale.
- Yeah.

769
00:45:08,528 --> 00:45:10,361
- I mean, I...
- Fuck the rednecks, right?

770
00:45:10,363 --> 00:45:11,729
- That's right.
- Hey. I'm a mullet-haired redneck,

771
00:45:11,731 --> 00:45:13,332
and you know
I'll kick your ass.

772
00:45:13,334 --> 00:45:14,666
You know I can kick your ass.

773
00:45:14,668 --> 00:45:16,334
- John, any comments?
- What?

774
00:45:16,336 --> 00:45:17,572
John.

775
00:45:18,706 --> 00:45:20,571
What I want to know is,

776
00:45:20,573 --> 00:45:22,408
with all the poems
that you have,

777
00:45:22,410 --> 00:45:24,343
they can't all be
about penises.

778
00:45:24,345 --> 00:45:26,445
I mean, you probably got
some pretty ones, I'm sure.

779
00:45:26,447 --> 00:45:27,713
Well, what I believe

780
00:45:27,715 --> 00:45:31,450
is we all have led,
in our non-sober periods,

781
00:45:31,452 --> 00:45:33,352
somewhat chaotic lives.

782
00:45:33,354 --> 00:45:37,423
And I think there's
a very fine line between

783
00:45:37,425 --> 00:45:40,358
creating chaos
because of the adventure

784
00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:44,265
and creating chaos because
of the dependency on it.

785
00:45:45,532 --> 00:45:47,099
Now, John isn't
speaking very much,

786
00:45:47,101 --> 00:45:49,702
so perhaps he thinks
he's better than us.

787
00:45:49,704 --> 00:45:52,307
So, John, do you want
to tell us about your drinking?

788
00:45:54,108 --> 00:45:56,642
Oh.

789
00:45:56,644 --> 00:45:59,410
Is this... Do I say,
"John, I'm an alcoholic"?

790
00:45:59,412 --> 00:46:01,483
Just tell us
about your drinking.

791
00:46:04,385 --> 00:46:06,517
Um...

792
00:46:06,519 --> 00:46:08,454
Well, I, um,

793
00:46:08,456 --> 00:46:12,059
I started drinking
when I was, uh, 13.

794
00:46:14,095 --> 00:46:16,128
Um...

795
00:46:16,130 --> 00:46:20,535
I-I stole a bottle of gin
from my Aunt Diane.

796
00:46:21,635 --> 00:46:25,003
And, um, I liked it.

797
00:46:25,005 --> 00:46:27,439
A lot.

798
00:46:27,441 --> 00:46:29,010
And I never stopped.

799
00:46:30,443 --> 00:46:31,709
Okay.

800
00:46:31,711 --> 00:46:34,812
Um, yeah...

801
00:46:34,814 --> 00:46:36,615
Keep going.

802
00:46:36,617 --> 00:46:41,553
I mean, I-I kept drinking,
I guess,

803
00:46:41,555 --> 00:46:44,390
maybe because I was adopted.

804
00:46:44,392 --> 00:46:46,392
I was adopted.

805
00:46:46,394 --> 00:46:49,026
And, um,

806
00:46:49,028 --> 00:46:52,530
maybe it made me
not care as much about that.

807
00:46:52,532 --> 00:46:55,401
Or...

808
00:46:55,403 --> 00:46:57,135
Yeah.

809
00:46:57,137 --> 00:46:59,405
I-I don't, I don't really know.

810
00:46:59,407 --> 00:47:02,508
- Yeah...
- Corky drank 'cause her name is Corky.

811
00:47:05,613 --> 00:47:07,845
I drank 'cause my shoes
were too tight.

812
00:47:07,847 --> 00:47:09,847
You know,

813
00:47:09,849 --> 00:47:12,417
I'm glad you find this amusing.

814
00:47:12,419 --> 00:47:13,718
John, what we're trying
to point out

815
00:47:13,720 --> 00:47:15,454
is that we all have excuses.

816
00:47:15,456 --> 00:47:17,856
I resent you characterizing

817
00:47:17,858 --> 00:47:20,492
such a painful part
of my childhood,

818
00:47:20,494 --> 00:47:23,398
such as being an orphan,
as an excuse.

819
00:47:24,697 --> 00:47:28,834
I mean,
it is a fact, among others.

820
00:47:28,836 --> 00:47:30,836
Like, for instance,
I can't move

821
00:47:30,838 --> 00:47:32,671
one fucking muscle
below my chest.

822
00:47:32,673 --> 00:47:34,807
Would that qualify as an excuse?

823
00:47:34,809 --> 00:47:38,142
- What are you laughing at?
- We were waiting for that.

824
00:47:38,144 --> 00:47:40,445
We just knew you were gonna
say that, that's all.

825
00:47:40,447 --> 00:47:42,146
- You fucking cow!
- Oh.

826
00:47:42,148 --> 00:47:43,682
You wouldn't know pain
if it crawled up

827
00:47:43,684 --> 00:47:45,149
your fucking ass
and devoured you!

828
00:47:45,151 --> 00:47:46,218
How dare you!

829
00:47:46,220 --> 00:47:48,187
I'm sorry.
Well...

830
00:47:50,157 --> 00:47:53,827
...as a matter of fact,
I have cancer of the heart.

831
00:47:57,164 --> 00:47:58,863
And just let me
tell you something

832
00:47:58,865 --> 00:48:01,166
about your "poor me" s, okay?

833
00:48:01,168 --> 00:48:03,535
You keep it up,
"poor me, poor me,"

834
00:48:03,537 --> 00:48:05,102
and you're gonna
find yourself saying,

835
00:48:05,104 --> 00:48:06,738
- "Pour me another drink."
- Mm.

836
00:48:06,740 --> 00:48:09,140
And for the record,

837
00:48:09,142 --> 00:48:12,644
when I first came here,
I was a fat, worthless cow.

838
00:48:12,646 --> 00:48:14,646
But I worked these 12 steps,

839
00:48:14,648 --> 00:48:17,548
and I carved out a little bit
of a life for myself.

840
00:48:17,550 --> 00:48:19,486
I'm sorry, Reba.

841
00:48:20,753 --> 00:48:22,153
I'm sorry, everybody.

842
00:48:22,155 --> 00:48:23,921
- It's okay.
- It's expected.

843
00:48:23,923 --> 00:48:27,225
It's okay, John.

844
00:48:27,227 --> 00:48:30,762
You're right on schedule,
sweetheart.

845
00:48:30,764 --> 00:48:32,564
And I'm glad you're here.
I want to tell you that.

846
00:48:32,566 --> 00:48:34,836
- Thank you.
- I'm glad you're here.

847
00:48:41,242 --> 00:48:43,274
I like you guys.

848
00:48:43,276 --> 00:48:46,245
You're fucking crazy.

849
00:48:49,517 --> 00:48:51,517
We like you, too, man.

850
00:48:51,519 --> 00:48:53,651
Well, wait till
you get to know me.

851
00:49:39,300 --> 00:49:40,566
Hey, bro.

852
00:49:40,568 --> 00:49:42,901
Shot of that wine?

853
00:49:42,903 --> 00:49:46,338
Goddamn it, I haven't even had
my first fucking drink.

854
00:49:46,340 --> 00:49:48,774
There's one
in my right shirt pocket here.

855
00:49:48,776 --> 00:49:51,044
The jacket here. Go get it.
It's another quart.

856
00:50:04,825 --> 00:50:06,291
Okay, great.

857
00:50:06,293 --> 00:50:08,026
Thanks, now.

858
00:50:08,028 --> 00:50:10,595
Mr. Katz will see you.

859
00:50:10,597 --> 00:50:12,266
Oh, thank you.

860
00:50:19,974 --> 00:50:21,640
Afternoon.

861
00:50:21,642 --> 00:50:23,041
Good afternoon.

862
00:50:23,043 --> 00:50:25,644
Thanks so much for taking
the time to see me.

863
00:50:25,646 --> 00:50:27,312
Not at all.

864
00:50:27,314 --> 00:50:29,981
- What can I do for you?
- My name is John Callahan.

865
00:50:29,983 --> 00:50:33,651
I was born in 1950 at the old
Saint Vincent's Hospital.

866
00:50:33,653 --> 00:50:36,021
I know three things
about my real mother:

867
00:50:36,023 --> 00:50:38,689
she was Irish-American,
she had red hair,

868
00:50:38,691 --> 00:50:40,892
- she was a school teacher.
- Mm-hmm.

869
00:50:40,894 --> 00:50:43,361
Oh, yeah.
And she didn't want me.

870
00:50:43,363 --> 00:50:45,329
So, four things.

871
00:50:45,331 --> 00:50:47,064
Anyway, I was hoping
you could help me find her.

872
00:50:47,066 --> 00:50:52,771
I-I made this sketch of what
I think she might look like.

873
00:50:52,773 --> 00:50:55,309
Maybe it'll help you out.

874
00:50:59,046 --> 00:51:00,711
It's very nice.

875
00:51:00,713 --> 00:51:02,314
Callahan.

876
00:51:02,316 --> 00:51:03,814
Yeah, John.

877
00:51:03,816 --> 00:51:06,651
Old Saint Vincent's Hospital.

878
00:51:06,653 --> 00:51:08,922
Well... let's see.

879
00:51:17,097 --> 00:51:18,829
That's really my file?

880
00:51:18,831 --> 00:51:20,097
All right. This is the one.

881
00:51:20,099 --> 00:51:21,700
That's it? Let me look at it.

882
00:51:21,702 --> 00:51:23,838
Yeah, we'll go back over.

883
00:51:25,706 --> 00:51:27,842
All right.

884
00:51:34,814 --> 00:51:36,080
What's it say?

885
00:51:36,082 --> 00:51:38,086
Uh...

886
00:51:39,820 --> 00:51:41,753
Well, Mr. Callahan,
there's little I can do.

887
00:51:41,755 --> 00:51:43,421
Wait. No, you saw something.

888
00:51:43,423 --> 00:51:45,823
- Mr. Callahan. Mr. Callahan.
- What's in there? What'd you...

889
00:51:45,825 --> 00:51:47,358
The state of Oregon has a law.

890
00:51:47,360 --> 00:51:49,727
Forget the state of Oregon,
man. Come on.

891
00:51:49,729 --> 00:51:50,928
Mr. Callahan,
I could lose my job.

892
00:51:50,930 --> 00:51:53,097
- There's just nothing I can do.
- Wait, what does that say?

893
00:51:53,099 --> 00:51:55,800
Is that... is that
"Maggie Lynch"?

894
00:51:55,802 --> 00:51:57,102
- I can't say, Mr....
- Is that her name?

895
00:51:57,104 --> 00:51:59,104
- Maggie Lynch?
- Mr. Callahan, I can't say.

896
00:51:59,106 --> 00:52:00,972
What do you mean you can't say?
It's written down right there.

897
00:52:00,974 --> 00:52:02,340
I just saw it.
Is that her name, Maggie Lynch?

898
00:52:02,342 --> 00:52:05,142
Mr. Callahan, I am not
gonna lose my job.

899
00:52:05,144 --> 00:52:06,812
Screw your job, man.

900
00:52:06,814 --> 00:52:08,345
You've probably been
sitting behind this desk

901
00:52:08,347 --> 00:52:09,780
- for 25 fucking years.
- Mr. Callahan,

902
00:52:09,782 --> 00:52:10,881
- get out.
- You have a miserable life.

903
00:52:10,883 --> 00:52:12,050
- Be a man!
- Get out.

904
00:52:12,052 --> 00:52:14,021
Aw, go fuck yourself.

905
00:52:30,503 --> 00:52:33,140
Maybe it's your battery
or a connection or something.

906
00:52:34,108 --> 00:52:36,207
There you are.

907
00:52:36,209 --> 00:52:38,175
- Could you spare a quarter?
- Yeah.

908
00:52:38,177 --> 00:52:41,113
234...

909
00:52:41,115 --> 00:52:43,217
2459.

910
00:52:45,151 --> 00:52:46,151
Here you go.

911
00:52:46,153 --> 00:52:47,818
Thank you, sir.

912
00:52:47,820 --> 00:52:49,454
You bet.

913
00:52:49,456 --> 00:52:51,055
<i>Disability Resource Center.</i>

914
00:52:51,057 --> 00:52:52,157
Hey, it's John.

915
00:52:52,159 --> 00:52:54,191
<i>Just a moment.</i>

916
00:52:55,461 --> 00:52:56,794
This is Suzanne.

917
00:52:56,796 --> 00:52:59,700
<i>Hey, Suzanne. It's John.</i>

918
00:53:00,767 --> 00:53:02,399
My chair broke down.

919
00:53:02,401 --> 00:53:05,003
- Could somebody come down here to help me?
- <i>John?</i>

920
00:53:05,005 --> 00:53:06,805
John, this is the third time

921
00:53:06,807 --> 00:53:08,173
in a couple of months
this has happened.

922
00:53:08,175 --> 00:53:09,508
You know, we have cutbacks

923
00:53:09,510 --> 00:53:11,209
ever since the
new president came in.

924
00:53:11,211 --> 00:53:13,879
- <i>We have our own problems.</i>
- Oh, please don't start.

925
00:53:13,881 --> 00:53:16,013
Please don't start.
Suzanne...

926
00:53:16,015 --> 00:53:18,850
<i>John, I'm sorry,
I do not make the rules.</i>

927
00:53:18,852 --> 00:53:20,852
What did I do to you?

928
00:53:20,854 --> 00:53:23,120
What did I do
to piss you off so much?!

929
00:53:23,122 --> 00:53:24,990
- Why you got to treat me like this?
- <i>You know,</i>

930
00:53:24,992 --> 00:53:27,091
I hear you're putting a lot
more mileage on that wheelchair

931
00:53:27,093 --> 00:53:28,260
than the average quadriplegic.

932
00:53:28,262 --> 00:53:30,227
Yeah, because
I'm an active worker!

933
00:53:30,229 --> 00:53:32,863
I'm not a fucking
nursing home vegetable!

934
00:53:32,865 --> 00:53:35,100
So I'm just asking for
a little bit of goddamn help!

935
00:53:35,102 --> 00:53:36,901
- Take care, John.
- <i>Suzanne,</i>

936
00:53:36,903 --> 00:53:39,070
please, please,
I fucking beg you.

937
00:53:39,072 --> 00:53:41,506
- I ask for forgiveness!
- Take care of yourself, please.

938
00:53:41,508 --> 00:53:42,843
<i>Please, please!</i>

939
00:53:53,586 --> 00:53:55,519
One of
the objectives of group

940
00:53:55,521 --> 00:53:58,957
is to provoke a new awareness
to unwanted

941
00:53:58,959 --> 00:54:03,128
or unnecessary emotional
problems that we sit with.

942
00:54:03,130 --> 00:54:04,963
And left unprovoked,

943
00:54:04,965 --> 00:54:07,032
we sit alone
with these problems,

944
00:54:07,034 --> 00:54:10,901
and they can fester into...
drinking habits,

945
00:54:10,903 --> 00:54:13,171
drug habits, gambling.

946
00:54:13,173 --> 00:54:15,573
Other bad habits.

947
00:54:15,575 --> 00:54:17,142
What are "other bad habits"?

948
00:54:17,144 --> 00:54:19,044
I mean, it could be anything.

949
00:54:19,046 --> 00:54:22,613
It could be hoarding,
bank robbing, suicide.

950
00:54:22,615 --> 00:54:24,182
It happens, amiga.

951
00:54:24,184 --> 00:54:25,916
Mike.

952
00:54:25,918 --> 00:54:28,253
Why don't you tell us
your story.

953
00:54:28,255 --> 00:54:30,588
Talk about your employment;
start from the beginning.

954
00:54:30,590 --> 00:54:32,090
What was the name
of the company?

955
00:54:32,092 --> 00:54:33,624
Uh...

956
00:54:33,626 --> 00:54:36,894
Burnside Exploratory
Systems Technology.

957
00:54:36,896 --> 00:54:38,629
And we called it BEST
for short.

958
00:54:38,631 --> 00:54:40,599
I, uh...

959
00:54:40,601 --> 00:54:44,501
had an administrator there
I didn't care for very much.

960
00:54:44,503 --> 00:54:46,271
Once a war going on,
and she didn't care

961
00:54:46,273 --> 00:54:48,173
whether we were winning
or losing when I worked there,

962
00:54:48,175 --> 00:54:49,908
and we were handed
a lot of bullshit.

963
00:54:49,910 --> 00:54:51,609
Slow down, Mike. Y-You...

964
00:54:51,611 --> 00:54:55,046
- "She," meaning your administrator?
- Yeah.

965
00:54:55,048 --> 00:54:56,981
Yeah, and she...

966
00:54:56,983 --> 00:55:01,051
would just keep to herself
up in her cubicle.

967
00:55:01,053 --> 00:55:02,954
Then we'd hear
her prerecorded voice

968
00:55:02,956 --> 00:55:04,655
come over the loudspeaker.

969
00:55:04,657 --> 00:55:08,158
Can you tell us a little bit
about this administrator?

970
00:55:08,160 --> 00:55:10,294
Yeah.
Yeah, well, first the sentry

971
00:55:10,296 --> 00:55:12,963
in our, uh, attack unit was...

972
00:55:12,965 --> 00:55:14,901
Uh, fuck.

973
00:55:15,968 --> 00:55:17,669
I'm sorry, Donnie, can we, uh,

974
00:55:17,671 --> 00:55:19,336
can we talk about
something else?

975
00:55:19,338 --> 00:55:20,638
No.

976
00:55:20,640 --> 00:55:22,173
How did she make you feel?

977
00:55:22,175 --> 00:55:24,209
Well, we were like family.

978
00:55:24,211 --> 00:55:26,912
You know, you spend enough time
with your family, you...

979
00:55:26,914 --> 00:55:29,981
end up wanting to strangle
your mom, you know?

980
00:55:29,983 --> 00:55:31,349
May I ask something?

981
00:55:31,351 --> 00:55:33,117
Go ahead, Corky.

982
00:55:33,119 --> 00:55:35,255
Were there any women
in your operation?

983
00:55:36,222 --> 00:55:37,622
Yeah.

984
00:55:37,624 --> 00:55:39,894
The administrator,
but we never saw her.

985
00:55:41,160 --> 00:55:44,562
I'm curious why there's a lack
of women in your stories.

986
00:55:44,564 --> 00:55:48,566
In your childhood, growing up,

987
00:55:48,568 --> 00:55:50,334
in your company.

988
00:55:50,336 --> 00:55:54,041
There must have been women
in your command unit.

989
00:55:57,311 --> 00:55:59,176
Because women
can't handle it over there!

990
00:55:59,178 --> 00:56:01,079
- Hey! Hey!
- Okay? Let me tell you,

991
00:56:01,081 --> 00:56:02,713
- neither of you would've
- Hey!

992
00:56:02,715 --> 00:56:04,182
- lasted two fucking seconds over there!
- Hey!

993
00:56:04,184 --> 00:56:07,619
- Mike, hey! Hey.
- Mike. Mike.

994
00:56:07,621 --> 00:56:09,220
- This is group.
- Yeah.

995
00:56:09,222 --> 00:56:11,289
Martingale, sit down.
Mike, sit down,

996
00:56:11,291 --> 00:56:13,158
or you'll be thrown
out of the group.

997
00:56:13,160 --> 00:56:16,093
I'm sorry.

998
00:56:16,095 --> 00:56:18,729
- You all take this so seriously.
- I'm sorry, Donnie.

999
00:56:18,731 --> 00:56:20,731
If you just went down
to Saint Luke's Church

1000
00:56:20,733 --> 00:56:23,200
on Sunday services, I'm pretty
sure you'd be able to find

1001
00:56:23,202 --> 00:56:25,135
the salvation
that you're looking for.

1002
00:56:25,137 --> 00:56:27,305
Tim, you are very fucking cute.

1003
00:56:27,307 --> 00:56:30,611
Now shut the fuck up,
'cause no one asked you, okay?

1004
00:56:32,111 --> 00:56:34,178
Everyone, breathe.

1005
00:56:34,180 --> 00:56:35,650
Mike, you okay?

1006
00:56:37,084 --> 00:56:38,383
Tim, you think you can
pull my pants down

1007
00:56:38,385 --> 00:56:40,621
so I don't have to speak
through my fucking fly?

1008
00:56:46,727 --> 00:56:49,096
There you go, buddy.

1009
00:56:53,332 --> 00:56:56,001
Hey, you forgot to open the bottle!

1010
00:56:56,003 --> 00:56:57,669
Tim!

1011
00:56:57,671 --> 00:57:00,107
Don't lock the door! Tim!

1012
00:57:11,651 --> 00:57:13,287
Oh, fuck.

1013
00:57:15,689 --> 00:57:17,321
Bet you could open
this bottle, Snickers.

1014
00:57:17,323 --> 00:57:20,057
Fuck.

1015
00:57:20,059 --> 00:57:22,262
No!

1016
00:57:24,664 --> 00:57:26,133
Oh, fuck.

1017
00:57:46,820 --> 00:57:49,490
Fuck. Fuck.

1018
00:57:53,727 --> 00:57:55,463
Fuck!

1019
00:58:22,856 --> 00:58:24,792
Oh.

1020
00:58:29,796 --> 00:58:32,533
Oh, God, you son of a bitch.

1021
00:59:18,410 --> 00:59:22,082
Please, please,
please, please, please.

1022
01:00:09,829 --> 01:00:11,298
Snickers!

1023
01:00:27,514 --> 01:00:29,550
Mom.

1024
01:00:35,889 --> 01:00:38,159
Where are you?

1025
01:00:39,892 --> 01:00:41,992
You fucker.

1026
01:00:41,994 --> 01:00:44,230
You tart.

1027
01:00:47,666 --> 01:00:50,336
You left me here.

1028
01:00:52,372 --> 01:00:54,842
I'm a cripple.

1029
01:00:57,711 --> 01:01:00,481
Where are you?

1030
01:01:19,633 --> 01:01:22,503
<i>You are a good person, John.</i>

1031
01:01:24,970 --> 01:01:27,972
<i>You can help yourself.</i>

1032
01:01:27,974 --> 01:01:29,640
<i>You can stop drinking,</i>

1033
01:01:29,642 --> 01:01:34,379
<i>and you can become
happy and healthy.</i>

1034
01:01:34,381 --> 01:01:36,580
<i>I know you're calling for me.</i>

1035
01:01:36,582 --> 01:01:38,651
<i>I love you.</i>

1036
01:01:42,454 --> 01:01:45,390
<i>Just please
don't call me a tart.</i>

1037
01:01:57,003 --> 01:01:59,240
Hi, Tim.

1038
01:02:00,439 --> 01:02:02,307
Something...

1039
01:02:02,309 --> 01:02:05,713
really profound
just happened to me, man.

1040
01:02:07,347 --> 01:02:09,546
Yeah, that's, uh...

1041
01:02:09,548 --> 01:02:11,349
that's great.

1042
01:02:11,351 --> 01:02:13,684
I don't think
I'm gonna drink anymore.

1043
01:02:13,686 --> 01:02:16,289
You mind if I have
some of these cookies?

1044
01:02:18,691 --> 01:02:20,358
Can I?

1045
01:02:20,360 --> 01:02:21,693
Yeah, man.

1046
01:02:21,695 --> 01:02:23,428
- Knock yourself out.
- Thank you.

1047
01:02:23,430 --> 01:02:25,363
What the fuck happened in here?
It's a wreck.

1048
01:02:25,365 --> 01:02:26,798
What... where's Snickers?

1049
01:02:26,800 --> 01:02:28,432
I mean,
there's really no reason

1050
01:02:28,434 --> 01:02:30,568
why you should believe me.

1051
01:02:33,006 --> 01:02:35,372
Donnie, why do you
call them piglets?

1052
01:02:35,374 --> 01:02:38,041
'Cause I'm a triple Aries,
Callahan.

1053
01:02:38,043 --> 01:02:40,046
And 'cause they let me.

1054
01:02:42,048 --> 01:02:43,580
See you.

1055
01:02:43,582 --> 01:02:46,350
And 'cause a piglet
is a small, timid animal

1056
01:02:46,352 --> 01:02:47,651
who tries to be brave

1057
01:02:47,653 --> 01:02:50,120
and occasionally
conquers his fears.

1058
01:02:50,122 --> 01:02:52,055
Look, there's just four things:

1059
01:02:52,057 --> 01:02:54,358
keep going to meetings;
read this book I'm giving you;

1060
01:02:54,360 --> 01:02:57,028
don't drink; and if you think
you're gonna drink,

1061
01:02:57,030 --> 01:02:59,300
call me first, never after.

1062
01:03:41,073 --> 01:03:42,874
<i>Last two weeks,</i>

1063
01:03:42,876 --> 01:03:47,044
we were talking about
art and craft.

1064
01:03:47,046 --> 01:03:48,678
All art has craft.

1065
01:03:48,680 --> 01:03:51,048
All craft has art.

1066
01:03:51,050 --> 01:03:55,553
But craft seeks
full perfection.

1067
01:03:55,555 --> 01:03:58,423
And art seeks full expression.

1068
01:03:58,425 --> 01:04:00,725
That's why...

1069
01:04:00,727 --> 01:04:04,162
the craftsman's job is
every time always the same.

1070
01:04:04,164 --> 01:04:05,733
Repeat every time.

1071
01:04:08,668 --> 01:04:12,106
That's why we don't have
two "Mona Lisa."

1072
01:04:14,840 --> 01:04:18,508
And "Mona Lisa,"
by the way, one can say

1073
01:04:18,510 --> 01:04:19,843
is a controlled accident.

1074
01:04:19,845 --> 01:04:21,678
<i>While working through the steps</i>

1075
01:04:21,680 --> 01:04:23,146
<i>of the fellowship,</i>

1076
01:04:23,148 --> 01:04:26,818
I began to feel
a huge rush of energy.

1077
01:04:26,820 --> 01:04:30,454
I suddenly realized
that I had been,

1078
01:04:30,456 --> 01:04:32,155
<i>or should have been,</i>

1079
01:04:32,157 --> 01:04:35,094
<i>a cartoonist, a gagman,
all along.</i>

1080
01:05:47,233 --> 01:05:49,236
- Here you go.
- Thanks.

1081
01:06:22,235 --> 01:06:24,602
I refer to my higher power
as Chucky,

1082
01:06:24,604 --> 01:06:26,336
when the word "God"
doesn't suffice.

1083
01:06:26,338 --> 01:06:29,573
You know, like the character
from the horror movie.

1084
01:06:29,575 --> 01:06:33,843
Not because I'm terrified
of my higher power.

1085
01:06:33,845 --> 01:06:39,249
It's 'cause I find my
higher power is unpredictable.

1086
01:06:39,251 --> 01:06:42,986
The thing for you to grasp,
my little piglets,

1087
01:06:42,988 --> 01:06:45,622
is that we don't control
the universe.

1088
01:06:45,624 --> 01:06:49,026
And, in fact,
it will go on in our absence.

1089
01:06:49,028 --> 01:06:50,894
We can't ask for help

1090
01:06:50,896 --> 01:06:53,263
if we don't think there's
anyone out there to give it.

1091
01:06:53,265 --> 01:06:56,033
You have to grasp this concept.

1092
01:06:56,035 --> 01:06:59,035
And that doesn't have to be
fucking Jesus Christ

1093
01:06:59,037 --> 01:07:01,305
or Buddha or Vanna White.

1094
01:07:01,307 --> 01:07:04,774
So, can I choose the genitalia
of Raquel Welch?

1095
01:07:04,776 --> 01:07:07,044
I would advise against that,
Callahan.

1096
01:07:07,046 --> 01:07:08,345
Why?

1097
01:07:08,347 --> 01:07:10,814
'Cause it's not a fucking joke.

1098
01:07:10,816 --> 01:07:12,850
If you can't look
outside yourself

1099
01:07:12,852 --> 01:07:15,889
and you can't find
a higher power, you're fucked.

1100
01:07:17,724 --> 01:07:19,055
- Yeah.
- Thanks, Donnie.

1101
01:07:19,057 --> 01:07:20,925
- Of course.
- See you, John.

1102
01:07:20,927 --> 01:07:23,361
- Bye, John.
- Bye, Hans.

1103
01:07:23,363 --> 01:07:26,062
Beat yourself
with a feather, not a bat.

1104
01:07:28,267 --> 01:07:30,003
Be outside.
I'm gonna have a smoke.

1105
01:07:31,671 --> 01:07:33,269
Don't linger
too long on belief.

1106
01:07:33,271 --> 01:07:34,738
Just jump in, do the work.

1107
01:07:34,740 --> 01:07:37,408
Trust God. Clean house.

1108
01:07:37,410 --> 01:07:38,979
Take this book.

1109
01:07:40,079 --> 01:07:42,379
Lao-Tzu. Check it out.

1110
01:07:42,381 --> 01:07:45,686
There's some valuable
proverbs in there.

1111
01:07:47,387 --> 01:07:49,022
'Kay.

1112
01:07:50,356 --> 01:07:52,390
Um, you need any information?

1113
01:07:52,392 --> 01:07:55,091
Yeah, can you take a look
at this cartoon for me?

1114
01:07:55,093 --> 01:07:57,727
- Give me your thoughts.
- Yeah, let me...

1115
01:07:57,729 --> 01:07:59,729
Let's see.

1116
01:08:03,403 --> 01:08:05,301
Mm.

1117
01:08:05,303 --> 01:08:07,405
- It's pretty good. Pretty...
- I can tell you don't like it.

1118
01:08:07,407 --> 01:08:09,707
Here, look at another one.

1119
01:08:11,376 --> 01:08:12,979
Let's see.

1120
01:08:21,420 --> 01:08:22,752
You like that.

1121
01:08:22,754 --> 01:08:24,020
- Yeah.
- Okay.

1122
01:08:24,022 --> 01:08:25,722
That's good.

1123
01:08:25,724 --> 01:08:27,757
- Yeah, that's one of my favorites.
- Yeah.

1124
01:08:27,759 --> 01:08:30,394
- Aw, thank you.
- Very good.

1125
01:08:30,396 --> 01:08:32,666
Hey. Annu?

1126
01:08:34,166 --> 01:08:36,335
- John?
- Is that you?

1127
01:08:37,469 --> 01:08:40,904
Look at you.

1128
01:08:40,906 --> 01:08:43,039
You're looking very handsome.

1129
01:08:43,041 --> 01:08:44,341
Oh.

1130
01:08:44,343 --> 01:08:46,142
How have you been?

1131
01:08:46,144 --> 01:08:47,778
Good. I mean...

1132
01:08:47,780 --> 01:08:49,180
God, you look beautiful.

1133
01:08:49,182 --> 01:08:51,148
What-what is this?

1134
01:08:51,150 --> 01:08:53,450
Oh, I have a new job now.
I work for Air Scandinavia.

1135
01:08:53,452 --> 01:08:56,352
Wow, "Air Scandi-nah-via."

1136
01:08:56,354 --> 01:08:57,855
Really something.

1137
01:08:57,857 --> 01:08:59,390
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

1138
01:08:59,392 --> 01:09:01,825
I was promoted.
I'm group captain now.

1139
01:09:01,827 --> 01:09:03,493
- Group captain.
- Mm.

1140
01:09:03,495 --> 01:09:05,829
Wow, yeah, so you're just up
in, uh, first class

1141
01:09:05,831 --> 01:09:08,364
- with all the hot businessmen?
- Yeah.

1142
01:09:08,366 --> 01:09:09,967
- Yeah.
- But I don't really like them.

1143
01:09:09,969 --> 01:09:12,102
Are-are you...
are you flying out?

1144
01:09:12,104 --> 01:09:13,870
Are you in town for a while?

1145
01:09:13,872 --> 01:09:15,138
Do you, do you want to
get something to eat?

1146
01:09:15,140 --> 01:09:16,841
Yeah, I'm on layover.

1147
01:09:16,843 --> 01:09:18,508
- Really?
- That'd be really nice.

1148
01:09:18,510 --> 01:09:22,178
Yeah, well, let's find a place
to, you know...

1149
01:09:22,180 --> 01:09:24,418
"layover."

1150
01:09:26,085 --> 01:09:27,418
"Let me put it this way,

1151
01:09:27,420 --> 01:09:30,154
don't buy
any hacky sack balls."

1152
01:09:30,156 --> 01:09:31,821
That's really funny.

1153
01:09:31,823 --> 01:09:33,390
- It's you. Yeah?
- Yeah.

1154
01:09:33,392 --> 01:09:35,059
Wait, are you... you-you
really think it's funny?

1155
01:09:35,061 --> 01:09:37,130
- You sure?
- Yeah.

1156
01:10:13,064 --> 01:10:15,067
I'm gonna, I'm gonna come.

1157
01:10:17,236 --> 01:10:18,968
I'm coming!

1158
01:10:18,970 --> 01:10:20,904
- I'm coming!
- Oh, Jesus!

1159
01:10:20,906 --> 01:10:23,106
Oh! Jesus Christ! John, I'm...

1160
01:10:23,108 --> 01:10:25,909
I'm so sorry.
God, I am so sorry.

1161
01:10:29,080 --> 01:10:30,513
You have to promise

1162
01:10:30,515 --> 01:10:32,882
that Tim will walk in
to serve breakfast

1163
01:10:32,884 --> 01:10:34,885
at the same time every morning.

1164
01:10:34,887 --> 01:10:36,220
Okay.

1165
01:11:28,139 --> 01:11:30,341
Donnie, I see gymnasts
in the park.

1166
01:11:30,343 --> 01:11:34,511
Mm. Maybe they're preparing
for the Olympics next year.

1167
01:11:34,513 --> 01:11:36,247
I'm fucking serious.

1168
01:11:36,249 --> 01:11:38,582
I've been seeing them
since my physical recovery.

1169
01:11:38,584 --> 01:11:41,185
Oh, maybe
they're manifestations

1170
01:11:41,187 --> 01:11:42,619
of your sobriety.

1171
01:11:42,621 --> 01:11:44,888
We first saw them
in the emergency ward.

1172
01:11:44,890 --> 01:11:47,291
Maybe they're sticking around
to get what they want.

1173
01:11:47,293 --> 01:11:49,627
Well, what the fuck
do they want?

1174
01:11:49,629 --> 01:11:51,928
For you to come with them.

1175
01:11:51,930 --> 01:11:54,565
Yeah. Where to?

1176
01:11:54,567 --> 01:11:57,901
'Cause they're waving to me,
you know?

1177
01:11:57,903 --> 01:11:59,602
To the big park in the sky.

1178
01:11:59,604 --> 01:12:02,006
They could be calling
from the other side.

1179
01:12:02,008 --> 01:12:04,275
Yeah, that's
what I'm afraid of.

1180
01:12:04,277 --> 01:12:06,910
I don't want to go
to the park in the sky.

1181
01:12:06,912 --> 01:12:09,646
Callahan, don't obsess
over the gymnasts.

1182
01:12:09,648 --> 01:12:12,548
Go to meetings, don't drink,
read the book.

1183
01:12:12,550 --> 01:12:14,685
That's all
you have to focus on.

1184
01:12:14,687 --> 01:12:16,986
And you have to work on
the second step.

1185
01:12:16,988 --> 01:12:19,222
Like, you have to believe that
a power greater than yourself

1186
01:12:19,224 --> 01:12:21,894
can restore you to sanity.

1187
01:12:22,661 --> 01:12:25,229
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1188
01:12:25,231 --> 01:12:27,096
I know, I know, I know.

1189
01:12:27,098 --> 01:12:30,935
And besides, how are you gonna
do gymnastics anyway, Callahan?

1190
01:12:32,638 --> 01:12:35,138
- Honestly.
- Oh, that's so funny.

1191
01:12:35,140 --> 01:12:37,675
Oh, tomorrow
I fly to New York City

1192
01:12:37,677 --> 01:12:39,275
to get my boogie on.

1193
01:12:39,277 --> 01:12:41,244
Yeah, good for you, man.

1194
01:12:41,246 --> 01:12:43,579
- You deserve it.
- Thank you.

1195
01:12:43,581 --> 01:12:46,984
So, will I be able
to reach you, though?

1196
01:12:51,323 --> 01:12:53,157
You drew this?

1197
01:12:53,159 --> 01:12:54,591
Yeah. Oh, which one's that?
I mean, yeah,

1198
01:12:54,593 --> 01:12:57,026
I drew 'em all, but...
Oh, yeah. That's my dad.

1199
01:12:58,263 --> 01:13:01,164
This is good stuff, man.
This is really great.

1200
01:13:03,035 --> 01:13:04,400
So...?

1201
01:13:04,402 --> 01:13:06,636
You got it, man.
We'd like to give you a panel.

1202
01:13:06,638 --> 01:13:08,073
Really?

1203
01:13:16,348 --> 01:13:19,052
Hey, Officer,
take a look at this.

1204
01:13:24,089 --> 01:13:25,321
Very nice.

1205
01:13:25,323 --> 01:13:27,291
Very nice, right?
Thank you.

1206
01:13:27,293 --> 01:13:29,325
- Hey.
- Hey, John. How are you, hon?

1207
01:13:29,327 --> 01:13:31,361
Really good.
Take a look at this.

1208
01:13:31,363 --> 01:13:33,133
What you got?

1209
01:13:34,733 --> 01:13:38,103
Oh, hon. Lisa, look-it,
John's in the "Vanguard."

1210
01:13:40,071 --> 01:13:42,138
Hmm.

1211
01:13:44,442 --> 01:13:46,979
- Thank you.
- I like the shading.

1212
01:13:47,746 --> 01:13:49,312
Okay.

1213
01:13:49,314 --> 01:13:51,414
You want to see?
Look, puppy, look at that.

1214
01:13:51,416 --> 01:13:53,085
- You drew that?
- Yeah.

1215
01:13:58,023 --> 01:14:00,123
That's offensive.

1216
01:14:00,125 --> 01:14:01,994
Offensive?

1217
01:14:05,130 --> 01:14:07,131
Hey, some fellow artists.

1218
01:14:07,133 --> 01:14:09,132
Check this out.
Look at this.

1219
01:14:09,134 --> 01:14:10,467
No, I'm not trying
to sell you anything.

1220
01:14:10,469 --> 01:14:12,302
I just want you to look at...

1221
01:14:12,304 --> 01:14:15,271
They published my cartoon,
you fuckers!

1222
01:14:19,245 --> 01:14:21,481
<i>♪ Shake it, shake it ♪</i>

1223
01:14:26,786 --> 01:14:29,218
<i>♪ Shake it, shake it ♪</i>

1224
01:14:29,220 --> 01:14:30,820
<i>♪ Groovin' loose ♪</i>

1225
01:14:30,822 --> 01:14:32,722
<i>♪ Or heart to heart ♪</i>

1226
01:14:32,724 --> 01:14:36,427
<i>♪ We put in motion
every single part ♪</i>

1227
01:14:36,429 --> 01:14:39,395
<i>♪ Funky sounds, wall to wall ♪</i>

1228
01:14:39,397 --> 01:14:43,434
<i>♪ We're bumpin' booties,
having us a ball, y'all ♪</i>

1229
01:14:43,436 --> 01:14:45,235
<i>♪ Shake your groove thing ♪</i>

1230
01:14:45,237 --> 01:14:46,703
<i>♪ Shake your groove thing ♪</i>

1231
01:14:46,705 --> 01:14:49,338
<i>♪ Yeah, yeah... ♪</i>

1232
01:14:49,340 --> 01:14:51,275
Hello?

1233
01:14:51,277 --> 01:14:53,310
<i>I just can't fucking do this.</i>

1234
01:14:53,312 --> 01:14:55,812
I'm gonna kill Tim.
I'm gonna kill my attendant.

1235
01:14:55,814 --> 01:14:57,847
You know, Callahan,
you can't ask for help

1236
01:14:57,849 --> 01:15:01,284
if you don't think there's
anyone out there to give it.

1237
01:15:01,286 --> 01:15:03,220
Yeah, I'm asking you
for help, Donnie.

1238
01:15:03,222 --> 01:15:05,788
- That's why I'm calling you.
- <i>Well, tough shit.</i>

1239
01:15:05,790 --> 01:15:08,358
Donnie's on a plane to
New York City in half an hour.

1240
01:15:08,360 --> 01:15:11,127
And I'm not gonna
be back till Monday.

1241
01:15:11,129 --> 01:15:13,363
There's this new gay disco
there called The Saint,

1242
01:15:13,365 --> 01:15:15,364
<i>and I'm gonna be having
the time of my life</i>

1243
01:15:15,366 --> 01:15:17,266
<i>with Howard Rosenman
and Andy Warhol,</i>

1244
01:15:17,268 --> 01:15:19,269
- <i>getting discovered, so...</i>
- I don't give a fuck

1245
01:15:19,271 --> 01:15:21,370
about your sex life, Donnie.

1246
01:15:21,372 --> 01:15:23,474
<i>Tell me what to do.</i>

1247
01:15:23,476 --> 01:15:26,142
What are the first three steps?

1248
01:15:26,144 --> 01:15:27,778
Donnie, come on.

1249
01:15:27,780 --> 01:15:29,182
That, one?

1250
01:15:30,316 --> 01:15:32,248
One, that I'm powerless
over alcohol

1251
01:15:32,250 --> 01:15:34,284
and my life has
become unmanageable.

1252
01:15:34,286 --> 01:15:36,352
<i>Two, I came to believe that
a power greater than myself</i>

1253
01:15:36,354 --> 01:15:38,288
<i>can restore me to sanity.</i>

1254
01:15:38,290 --> 01:15:40,490
And three, I made a decision
to turn my will and my life

1255
01:15:40,492 --> 01:15:42,559
over to the care of God,
as I understand it.

1256
01:15:42,561 --> 01:15:45,162
<i>So you believe
you're powerless?</i>

1257
01:15:45,164 --> 01:15:46,797
Yeah.

1258
01:15:46,799 --> 01:15:48,364
You believe that a higher power

1259
01:15:48,366 --> 01:15:50,199
other than yourself
can restore you to sanity?

1260
01:15:50,201 --> 01:15:51,901
Yes.

1261
01:15:51,903 --> 01:15:53,369
<i>And you made a decision
to turn your will and life</i>

1262
01:15:53,371 --> 01:15:55,271
over to the care of God,
as you understand him,

1263
01:15:55,273 --> 01:15:57,240
in your case,
Raquel Welch's snatch.

1264
01:15:57,242 --> 01:15:58,909
And remember, this is
a choice of higher power

1265
01:15:58,911 --> 01:16:00,144
I don't approve of.

1266
01:16:00,146 --> 01:16:01,410
- Yes.
- <i>Great.</i>

1267
01:16:01,412 --> 01:16:03,146
Now, wouldn't you like to turn

1268
01:16:03,148 --> 01:16:04,780
this immediate problem
over to Chucky?

1269
01:16:04,782 --> 01:16:06,249
Yes.

1270
01:16:06,251 --> 01:16:08,287
<i>Don't you feel better already?</i>

1271
01:16:11,389 --> 01:16:15,159
Okay, yeah, but, Donnie,
you tricked me.

1272
01:16:15,161 --> 01:16:16,260
<i>I know what you just did.</i>

1273
01:16:16,262 --> 01:16:19,262
No, Callahan, no. Fuck.

1274
01:16:19,264 --> 01:16:20,864
Make a God basket.

1275
01:16:20,866 --> 01:16:23,199
Write your problems
on paper, crumple them up,

1276
01:16:23,201 --> 01:16:24,501
and throw them into the basket.

1277
01:16:24,503 --> 01:16:26,840
<i>Drink water.</i>

1278
01:16:30,308 --> 01:16:33,278
I'm afraid.
Who will protect me?

1279
01:16:42,220 --> 01:16:44,855
Tim. Tim?

1280
01:16:44,857 --> 01:16:46,256
Hey, man.

1281
01:16:46,258 --> 01:16:47,824
Can you pick up
that piece of paper

1282
01:16:47,826 --> 01:16:49,829
and toss it in the God basket?

1283
01:16:56,902 --> 01:16:58,435
Oh, yeah. Yeah.

1284
01:16:58,437 --> 01:17:00,369
Hey, you know, this is
actually pretty fun.

1285
01:17:00,371 --> 01:17:02,940
John, as the editors

1286
01:17:02,942 --> 01:17:05,242
of the Portland State
"Vanguard,"

1287
01:17:05,244 --> 01:17:08,278
some of us really
enjoy your humor,

1288
01:17:08,280 --> 01:17:09,846
but some of us are worried

1289
01:17:09,848 --> 01:17:12,252
that things might have
gone too far.

1290
01:17:13,585 --> 01:17:16,619
We have 55 letters here
from the student body

1291
01:17:16,621 --> 01:17:18,888
complaining about
your cartoons.

1292
01:17:18,890 --> 01:17:22,258
"Mr. Callahan, I am appalled
by your simplistic scribbling,

1293
01:17:22,260 --> 01:17:24,427
your misinformed ideas
about humor,

1294
01:17:24,429 --> 01:17:26,363
and the audacity you have..."

1295
01:17:26,365 --> 01:17:28,297
- That's real?
- "...to think the public enjoys your work."

1296
01:17:28,299 --> 01:17:30,234
Yes. It's from
Woodburn, Oregon.

1297
01:17:30,236 --> 01:17:32,002
We have many of them.

1298
01:17:32,004 --> 01:17:33,869
All right, look, guys,

1299
01:17:33,871 --> 01:17:36,340
I-I know that people have
come by the editorial offices

1300
01:17:36,342 --> 01:17:38,374
to register complaints
about me...

1301
01:17:38,376 --> 01:17:39,642
Christians, queers, teachers,

1302
01:17:39,644 --> 01:17:41,611
foreign nationals,
janitors, lab rats

1303
01:17:41,613 --> 01:17:45,449
all find me offensive,
which, uh, you know...

1304
01:17:45,451 --> 01:17:47,918
It's a good...
Is it a good thing?

1305
01:17:47,920 --> 01:17:49,886
We have a small pile
of threats.

1306
01:17:49,888 --> 01:17:51,922
There's one here
from the "Willamette Week."

1307
01:17:51,924 --> 01:17:54,358
John, this is, frankly, shocking.

1308
01:17:54,360 --> 01:17:57,927
What, the paper that
Gary Larson draws cartoons for?

1309
01:17:57,929 --> 01:18:01,398
Yes. And they would
like to give you

1310
01:18:01,400 --> 01:18:03,333
your own series.

1311
01:18:03,335 --> 01:18:05,401
We think that's
going too far.

1312
01:18:05,403 --> 01:18:06,569
Are you serious?

1313
01:18:06,571 --> 01:18:08,271
Uh...

1314
01:18:08,273 --> 01:18:09,405
Can we get a mop?
Can we get a mop?

1315
01:18:09,407 --> 01:18:10,673
- What happened?
- Oh. - Oh.

1316
01:18:10,675 --> 01:18:12,376
- Grab a mop, please.
- Uh...

1317
01:18:12,378 --> 01:18:14,011
Mop?

1318
01:18:14,013 --> 01:18:15,712
Wait, well,
don't do it with the...

1319
01:18:15,714 --> 01:18:18,414
- Don't-don't put the urine in the picture.
- Oh, yikes.

1320
01:18:18,416 --> 01:18:19,315
They're publishing
your cartoon.

1321
01:18:19,317 --> 01:18:20,950
We're absolutely serious.

1322
01:18:20,952 --> 01:18:23,255
- I thought you guys were playing with me.
- No, no.

1323
01:18:24,455 --> 01:18:26,959
In the Funny pile.

1324
01:18:28,294 --> 01:18:29,362
No.

1325
01:18:32,298 --> 01:18:34,233
Put this one for Annu.

1326
01:18:38,370 --> 01:18:40,273
That's real funny.

1327
01:18:47,345 --> 01:18:49,281
Why do you call it Chucky?

1328
01:18:50,316 --> 01:18:52,983
Why not?

1329
01:18:52,985 --> 01:18:55,952
You know, the day
I stopped drinking...

1330
01:18:55,954 --> 01:18:58,355
I felt a hand on my shoulder.

1331
01:18:58,357 --> 01:19:01,490
But when I turned
to look at it, there was...

1332
01:19:01,492 --> 01:19:04,463
nothing there,
but I didn't imagine it.

1333
01:19:07,633 --> 01:19:09,632
"Look at it,
but you cannot see it.

1334
01:19:09,634 --> 01:19:13,403
Because it is formless,
you call it invisible.

1335
01:19:13,405 --> 01:19:17,106
Listen to it,
but you cannot hear it.

1336
01:19:17,108 --> 01:19:20,377
Because it is soundless,
you call it inaudible.

1337
01:19:20,379 --> 01:19:22,712
Grasp it, but it is
out of your reach.

1338
01:19:22,714 --> 01:19:25,617
Because it is subtle,
you call it intangible."

1339
01:19:26,617 --> 01:19:28,517
Uh, who's that?

1340
01:19:28,519 --> 01:19:31,053
Is that Elton John?

1341
01:19:31,055 --> 01:19:32,588
Lao-Tzu.

1342
01:19:32,590 --> 01:19:34,526
Chucky.

1343
01:19:37,362 --> 01:19:39,395
Oh, hubba, hubba, hubba.

1344
01:19:39,397 --> 01:19:41,433
New heartthrob, Donnie?

1345
01:19:43,768 --> 01:19:45,401
Oh, no, no.

1346
01:19:45,403 --> 01:19:47,372
Pretty boy, small penis.

1347
01:19:48,139 --> 01:19:49,672
Maybe you were weakened

1348
01:19:49,674 --> 01:19:51,475
so you could
become strong, Callahan.

1349
01:19:51,477 --> 01:19:53,313
You ever think of it like that?

1350
01:19:56,048 --> 01:19:58,651
Path to enlightenment
is to know yourself.

1351
01:20:00,085 --> 01:20:01,688
How do I know myself?

1352
01:20:03,455 --> 01:20:05,087
Forget yourself.

1353
01:20:10,396 --> 01:20:12,628
Oh, what'd the doctor say?

1354
01:20:12,630 --> 01:20:15,164
I was gonna tell you about
when I was in India.

1355
01:20:15,166 --> 01:20:17,501
Just let me finish
so I don't forget.

1356
01:20:17,503 --> 01:20:20,035
I was driving north, to Bombay.

1357
01:20:20,037 --> 01:20:21,605
I was meeting
a group of teachers

1358
01:20:21,607 --> 01:20:22,806
- at the Bombay Hilton...
- Oh, yeah, no,

1359
01:20:22,808 --> 01:20:25,441
you told me this story already.

1360
01:20:25,443 --> 01:20:26,176
Have I?

1361
01:20:26,178 --> 01:20:27,511
Yeah.

1362
01:20:27,513 --> 01:20:29,512
With the girl beggar.

1363
01:20:29,514 --> 01:20:32,084
I don't remember telling it.

1364
01:20:34,052 --> 01:20:35,655
Donnie.

1365
01:20:37,423 --> 01:20:39,092
What did the doctor say?

1366
01:20:46,531 --> 01:20:48,101
I'm fucked.

1367
01:20:55,206 --> 01:20:57,075
I need to drink more water.

1368
01:21:19,097 --> 01:21:22,168
Mmm. That feels good.
Thank you.

1369
01:21:27,473 --> 01:21:29,672
"Dear Mr. Callahan,
we regret to inform you

1370
01:21:29,674 --> 01:21:32,108
that although your cartoon
shows promise,

1371
01:21:32,110 --> 01:21:34,578
it's not the caliber of work
that we're used to

1372
01:21:34,580 --> 01:21:36,480
at "The New Yorker."

1373
01:21:36,482 --> 01:21:38,481
Thank you for your submission."

1374
01:21:38,483 --> 01:21:40,585
Who reads "The New Yorker"?

1375
01:21:43,856 --> 01:21:46,756
"Mr. Callahan, you should
draw with your other hand

1376
01:21:46,758 --> 01:21:48,725
or become a plumber."

1377
01:21:49,894 --> 01:21:51,761
"Sincerely, Robert."

1378
01:21:51,763 --> 01:21:54,167
Well, that's original.

1379
01:21:56,535 --> 01:21:59,502
Hey...

1380
01:21:59,504 --> 01:22:01,837
do you think the joke is better
if I go with paramecium,

1381
01:22:01,839 --> 01:22:06,510
dogfish, chimpanzee,
Neanderthal, human?

1382
01:22:06,512 --> 01:22:08,677
Or should it be...

1383
01:22:08,679 --> 01:22:12,516
paramecium, trilobite,
raptor, lemur,

1384
01:22:12,518 --> 01:22:15,584
Neanderthal, human?

1385
01:22:15,586 --> 01:22:17,189
I don't know.

1386
01:22:18,523 --> 01:22:20,559
Let's put that
in the Not Ready pile.

1387
01:22:36,607 --> 01:22:38,173
Hello.

1388
01:22:38,175 --> 01:22:39,909
John, can I come in?

1389
01:22:39,911 --> 01:22:41,944
Suzanne.

1390
01:22:41,946 --> 01:22:43,279
Hey.

1391
01:22:43,281 --> 01:22:44,983
What a lovely surprise.

1392
01:22:49,287 --> 01:22:51,555
Where'd you get the money
for these posters?

1393
01:22:51,557 --> 01:22:52,689
Friends, family.

1394
01:22:52,691 --> 01:22:54,224
You got to write it down.

1395
01:22:54,226 --> 01:22:57,260
You have to report it...
any gift or donation.

1396
01:22:57,262 --> 01:22:58,828
Well...

1397
01:22:58,830 --> 01:23:01,664
I bummed a cigarette
down at Old Town the other day.

1398
01:23:01,666 --> 01:23:03,766
Should I report that, too?

1399
01:23:03,768 --> 01:23:05,569
Mr. Callahan, I'm sorry.

1400
01:23:05,571 --> 01:23:06,936
Do not make the rules.

1401
01:23:06,938 --> 01:23:08,738
Simply trying
to get you to understand

1402
01:23:08,740 --> 01:23:10,673
the gravity of the situation;
your cartoon earnings

1403
01:23:10,675 --> 01:23:12,708
could force your benefits
to be terminated.

1404
01:23:12,710 --> 01:23:14,778
Well, h-how do I avoid that?

1405
01:23:14,780 --> 01:23:16,279
I-I don't know.

1406
01:23:16,281 --> 01:23:19,849
But, uh... it doesn't
look good for you.

1407
01:23:19,851 --> 01:23:21,318
Uh, who do I speak to

1408
01:23:21,320 --> 01:23:23,720
about the specific
regulations on this?

1409
01:23:23,722 --> 01:23:25,855
I mean, how can I be penalized

1410
01:23:25,857 --> 01:23:29,258
for making a little money
this month?

1411
01:23:29,260 --> 01:23:31,328
Mr. Callahan,
we have reason to believe

1412
01:23:31,330 --> 01:23:33,629
you're a bit of
a shady character. Okay?

1413
01:23:33,631 --> 01:23:36,733
I just don't want
your benefits to be terminated.

1414
01:23:36,735 --> 01:23:39,602
Every letter
starts out the same way.

1415
01:23:39,604 --> 01:23:41,605
It's always your fault.

1416
01:23:41,607 --> 01:23:44,608
You know, I-I...
I-I knew, um,

1417
01:23:44,610 --> 01:23:46,976
a-a guy that was
a former caseworker.

1418
01:23:46,978 --> 01:23:48,912
He's since become a buddy.

1419
01:23:48,914 --> 01:23:53,650
And he revealed to me
that any assertive client

1420
01:23:53,652 --> 01:23:55,651
was written up in his file

1421
01:23:55,653 --> 01:23:58,721
as a fucking
unstable troublemaker.

1422
01:23:58,723 --> 01:24:00,957
You fucking believe that?

1423
01:24:00,959 --> 01:24:03,258
An unstable troublemaker.

1424
01:24:04,729 --> 01:24:08,330
John, this isn't
the complaint department.

1425
01:24:08,332 --> 01:24:11,066
We don't want to hear
about your caseworkers.

1426
01:24:11,068 --> 01:24:13,837
Tell your story,
talk about yourself.

1427
01:24:13,839 --> 01:24:15,838
Well, it is my life.

1428
01:24:15,840 --> 01:24:18,341
I rely on them for everything.

1429
01:24:18,343 --> 01:24:20,075
I don't, I don't know
what you mean.

1430
01:24:20,077 --> 01:24:22,044
What I mean is
that what about them

1431
01:24:22,046 --> 01:24:24,948
makes you complain?

1432
01:24:24,950 --> 01:24:27,751
It's not about
the counselor herself.

1433
01:24:27,753 --> 01:24:29,621
Keep going.

1434
01:24:31,822 --> 01:24:33,823
I mean, I can't walk.

1435
01:24:33,825 --> 01:24:35,358
Why can't you walk?

1436
01:24:37,028 --> 01:24:38,727
Because I was in an accident.

1437
01:24:38,729 --> 01:24:40,363
Because?

1438
01:24:40,365 --> 01:24:43,900
'Cause the fucking asshole,
Dexter,

1439
01:24:43,902 --> 01:24:46,403
fell asleep
at the fucking wheel.

1440
01:24:46,405 --> 01:24:48,104
Why'd he do that?

1441
01:24:48,106 --> 01:24:49,739
'Cause he was fucking drunk.

1442
01:24:49,741 --> 01:24:52,111
Okay, and why
were you in the car?

1443
01:24:54,112 --> 01:24:56,078
'Cause we were
going to the next party.

1444
01:24:56,080 --> 01:24:57,946
He was the one
that was driving.

1445
01:24:57,948 --> 01:24:59,349
I don't know why I-I...

1446
01:24:59,351 --> 01:25:01,083
- Okay, but why...
- I couldn't drive.

1447
01:25:01,085 --> 01:25:03,720
Wait, Callahan, why did you
get in the car with him

1448
01:25:03,722 --> 01:25:05,320
- if you knew he was drunk?
- I don't know,

1449
01:25:05,322 --> 01:25:08,057
'cause I was a fucking kid!
You don't make mistakes?

1450
01:25:08,059 --> 01:25:10,325
Why did you
get in the car with him

1451
01:25:10,327 --> 01:25:12,127
if you knew he was drunk?

1452
01:25:12,129 --> 01:25:13,930
Why would you do something
like that?

1453
01:25:13,932 --> 01:25:16,032
Would you do that right now?

1454
01:25:16,034 --> 01:25:18,467
Would you get in the car with
someone who you knew was drunk?

1455
01:25:19,737 --> 01:25:21,070
Why did you do that?

1456
01:25:21,072 --> 01:25:22,806
I don't know why.

1457
01:25:22,808 --> 01:25:26,743
I... I was so fucking drunk.

1458
01:25:26,745 --> 01:25:28,977
I was so fucking drunk.

1459
01:25:28,979 --> 01:25:31,881
I was drunk
since I was a fucking kid.

1460
01:25:31,883 --> 01:25:33,349
I was so embarrassing.

1461
01:25:33,351 --> 01:25:36,752
I know, 'cause I didn't...

1462
01:25:36,754 --> 01:25:38,887
I didn't feel loved,

1463
01:25:38,889 --> 01:25:40,056
I didn't feel wanted,

1464
01:25:40,058 --> 01:25:42,825
so I tried
to cover up my feelings.

1465
01:25:42,827 --> 01:25:45,494
And it worked.

1466
01:25:45,496 --> 01:25:49,168
I was born in 1951.

1467
01:25:50,736 --> 01:25:53,072
At the old
Saint Vincent's Hospital.

1468
01:25:55,107 --> 01:25:58,077
I know three things
about my real mother.

1469
01:25:59,811 --> 01:26:02,846
She was Irish-American.

1470
01:26:02,848 --> 01:26:04,948
She had red hair.

1471
01:26:04,950 --> 01:26:07,086
And she was a school teacher.

1472
01:26:09,521 --> 01:26:12,087
Oh, yeah.

1473
01:26:12,089 --> 01:26:15,425
And she didn't want me.

1474
01:26:26,838 --> 01:26:29,873
My alienation from my father...

1475
01:26:29,875 --> 01:26:32,876
I hated his guts
since I was 11...

1476
01:26:32,878 --> 01:26:35,414
extended itself
to my whole family.

1477
01:26:37,182 --> 01:26:39,414
One Christmas...

1478
01:26:39,416 --> 01:26:41,818
at the dinner table...

1479
01:26:41,820 --> 01:26:44,423
there was a... disturbance.

1480
01:26:45,557 --> 01:26:47,190
And Tommy,

1481
01:26:47,192 --> 01:26:51,261
who was some five years
younger than me,

1482
01:26:51,263 --> 01:26:53,262
screamed.

1483
01:26:53,264 --> 01:26:58,236
Whenever my dad
punished one of my siblings...

1484
01:27:01,071 --> 01:27:03,105
instead of me,

1485
01:27:03,107 --> 01:27:06,943
it gave me
a guilt-free excuse to...

1486
01:27:06,945 --> 01:27:08,477
condemn him.

1487
01:27:08,479 --> 01:27:12,117
I guess that was
a big thing, you know?

1488
01:27:13,151 --> 01:27:17,052
I never felt a part of them.

1489
01:27:17,054 --> 01:27:20,125
I never felt like
I was one of them.

1490
01:27:22,893 --> 01:27:24,194
I thought I'd fucking

1491
01:27:24,196 --> 01:27:26,229
drink my way
out of those feelings.

1492
01:27:26,231 --> 01:27:30,135
I became such a fuck up...

1493
01:27:32,269 --> 01:27:34,473
that I won't ever forgive them.

1494
01:27:37,576 --> 01:27:39,141
Oh, I mean that...

1495
01:27:39,143 --> 01:27:42,945
I mean, they won't
ever forgive me

1496
01:27:42,947 --> 01:27:47,016
for all the...
stupid shit I did.

1497
01:27:47,018 --> 01:27:48,918
What'd you just say?

1498
01:27:48,920 --> 01:27:50,185
That they won't...

1499
01:27:50,187 --> 01:27:53,021
forgive me for
all the stupid shit I did.

1500
01:27:55,125 --> 01:27:57,025
That they won't forgive you

1501
01:27:57,027 --> 01:27:59,127
or you won't forgive them?

1502
01:27:59,129 --> 01:28:01,530
That they won't forgive me.

1503
01:28:01,532 --> 01:28:03,533
You said that
you won't forgive them.

1504
01:28:03,535 --> 01:28:07,339
Okay, well, wh-what would
I have to forgive them f...

1505
01:28:08,505 --> 01:28:10,205
forgive them for?

1506
01:28:10,207 --> 01:28:12,641
For making you feel
like a black sheep.

1507
01:28:12,643 --> 01:28:14,276
For not being
your real parents,

1508
01:28:14,278 --> 01:28:16,115
for having other children.

1509
01:28:17,549 --> 01:28:20,119
Forgiving your birth mother
for giving you up.

1510
01:28:24,522 --> 01:28:25,989
Think about me!

1511
01:28:25,991 --> 01:28:28,127
I won't forgive them.

1512
01:28:30,961 --> 01:28:32,328
You're right on time, John.

1513
01:28:32,330 --> 01:28:35,030
You're approaching
the ninth step,

1514
01:28:35,032 --> 01:28:39,034
which is where you get to go
face-to-face with these people

1515
01:28:39,036 --> 01:28:41,539
and forgive them in person.

1516
01:28:42,907 --> 01:28:45,341
That's it?

1517
01:28:47,545 --> 01:28:49,678
I mean, uh...

1518
01:28:49,680 --> 01:28:52,248
I kind of thought that my...

1519
01:28:52,250 --> 01:28:56,019
group story would end
with an epiphany.

1520
01:28:56,021 --> 01:28:58,354
Like, you know, I'd...

1521
01:28:58,356 --> 01:29:02,057
break down and cry,
and-and, uh...

1522
01:29:02,059 --> 01:29:04,092
be cured forever.

1523
01:29:05,964 --> 01:29:07,262
Nope.

1524
01:29:07,264 --> 01:29:10,967
No, I don't feel
that different now.

1525
01:29:10,969 --> 01:29:13,269
I don't...

1526
01:29:13,271 --> 01:29:15,605
I don't feel like
I had the big moment.

1527
01:29:15,607 --> 01:29:17,105
This is the big moment.

1528
01:29:17,107 --> 01:29:19,374
There's no lightning bolt
that shoots you

1529
01:29:19,376 --> 01:29:21,110
and cures all your shit.

1530
01:29:21,112 --> 01:29:24,047
There are discoveries
and epiphanies

1531
01:29:24,049 --> 01:29:27,050
and moments of clarity.

1532
01:29:27,052 --> 01:29:29,220
But this doesn't just go away.

1533
01:29:30,722 --> 01:29:33,189
You have to wrestle
with this shit every day.

1534
01:29:33,191 --> 01:29:35,291
Some of that pain
will remain there forever.

1535
01:29:35,293 --> 01:29:37,293
Some of that shame will
remain there forever.

1536
01:29:37,295 --> 01:29:40,966
But you have to fight with it,
or you'll fucking die.

1537
01:29:44,736 --> 01:29:46,405
Thank you.

1538
01:29:51,977 --> 01:29:53,976
Mr. Levine?

1539
01:29:53,978 --> 01:29:55,211
John?

1540
01:29:55,213 --> 01:29:56,980
Yeah.

1541
01:29:56,982 --> 01:29:58,715
It's been so long.

1542
01:29:58,717 --> 01:30:00,216
Uh, hey.

1543
01:30:00,218 --> 01:30:01,617
- How you been doing?
- All right.

1544
01:30:01,619 --> 01:30:03,319
- You still drawing?
- Yeah.

1545
01:30:03,321 --> 01:30:05,754
I remember you back
in high... in high school,

1546
01:30:05,756 --> 01:30:07,190
you had problems with sketches.

1547
01:30:07,192 --> 01:30:09,225
But then you got
into oil colors,

1548
01:30:09,227 --> 01:30:10,760
- and it sort of reversed on itself.
- Yeah.

1549
01:30:10,762 --> 01:30:14,096
You were quite
the student back then.

1550
01:30:14,098 --> 01:30:16,431
Hey, um...

1551
01:30:16,433 --> 01:30:19,002
Hey, I just want to apologize.

1552
01:30:19,004 --> 01:30:20,302
Apologize for what?

1553
01:30:20,304 --> 01:30:22,270
Well, I was...

1554
01:30:22,272 --> 01:30:25,208
I caused some troubles
in class, and...

1555
01:30:25,210 --> 01:30:26,708
and you didn't deserve that.

1556
01:30:26,710 --> 01:30:29,011
And, uh, I felt bad
about it, and...

1557
01:30:29,013 --> 01:30:30,645
I just want to make amends.

1558
01:30:30,647 --> 01:30:33,248
Well, that's great
you should say that, John.

1559
01:30:33,250 --> 01:30:36,084
Teenagers, you know, you go
through these stages, so...

1560
01:30:36,086 --> 01:30:39,055
I could see potential in you.
That was the main thing.

1561
01:30:39,057 --> 01:30:41,757
I stole a shirt from this store
ten years ago,

1562
01:30:41,759 --> 01:30:44,260
and I'd like to
make it up to you.

1563
01:30:44,262 --> 01:30:46,796
It would really
screw up our books.

1564
01:30:46,798 --> 01:30:48,330
Um...

1565
01:30:48,332 --> 01:30:50,800
just give five dollars
to a charity,

1566
01:30:50,802 --> 01:30:52,438
and that'll make it good, son.

1567
01:30:54,339 --> 01:30:56,241
Hey, John.

1568
01:31:11,121 --> 01:31:12,821
What do you want from me, John?

1569
01:31:12,823 --> 01:31:15,257
Yeah, I was just thinking,
you know,

1570
01:31:15,259 --> 01:31:19,194
we've had a pretty contentious
relationship, and, um...

1571
01:31:19,196 --> 01:31:21,196
Probably made you
feel bad a lot.

1572
01:31:21,198 --> 01:31:23,166
And, um...

1573
01:31:23,168 --> 01:31:26,468
I realize that it must be
a really hard job, actually.

1574
01:31:26,470 --> 01:31:31,274
And, uh, I probably made it
more difficult.

1575
01:31:31,276 --> 01:31:33,443
And, um...

1576
01:31:33,445 --> 01:31:36,311
and I wanted to apologize.

1577
01:31:36,313 --> 01:31:39,849
Well, uh, th... thanks
for apologizing. I...

1578
01:31:39,851 --> 01:31:44,022
And, uh... sure.
I forgive you.

1579
01:31:45,423 --> 01:31:49,061
Hey, I made
this drawing for you.

1580
01:31:55,299 --> 01:31:57,400
Oh, boy.

1581
01:31:57,402 --> 01:32:00,168
Well... I don't know,
maybe you can help me.

1582
01:32:00,170 --> 01:32:03,105
I'm trying to do something
with Klansmen,

1583
01:32:03,107 --> 01:32:05,208
like... you know,
just make them, like,

1584
01:32:05,210 --> 01:32:07,275
more human, you know?

1585
01:32:07,277 --> 01:32:08,778
- 'Cause everyone always talks about...
- Klansmen?

1586
01:32:08,780 --> 01:32:10,279
Well, no, because people

1587
01:32:10,281 --> 01:32:13,216
always think about...
racists as, like,

1588
01:32:13,218 --> 01:32:15,584
just this, like, pure evil,
but they're your neighbors.

1589
01:32:15,586 --> 01:32:16,886
I don't know, I guess...

1590
01:32:16,888 --> 01:32:18,553
sheets.

1591
01:32:18,555 --> 01:32:20,355
Uh...

1592
01:32:20,357 --> 01:32:23,126
what I like about sheets
is they're sort of, like,

1593
01:32:23,128 --> 01:32:25,360
warm and fluffy when
you get 'em out of the dryer.

1594
01:32:26,763 --> 01:32:28,230
Don't you love it

1595
01:32:28,232 --> 01:32:30,333
when they're still warm
from the dryer?

1596
01:32:30,335 --> 01:32:33,235
<i>♪ What's the matter
with the crowd I'm seeing? ♪</i>

1597
01:32:33,237 --> 01:32:35,303
<i>♪ 'Cause you know that
you're out of touch ♪</i>

1598
01:32:37,241 --> 01:32:39,876
<i>♪ Should I be a fucking
straight-A student? ♪</i>

1599
01:32:39,878 --> 01:32:43,245
<i>♪ 'Cause you're out
and you think too much... ♪</i>

1600
01:32:43,247 --> 01:32:45,780
- Dexter?
- <i>♪ Can't you see much... ♪</i>

1601
01:32:47,552 --> 01:32:50,352
<i>♪ You can't dress trashy
till you spend a lot of money ♪</i>

1602
01:32:50,354 --> 01:32:53,922
<i>♪ Everybody's talking
'bout the new sound... ♪</i>

1603
01:32:53,924 --> 01:32:56,324
You don't remember me?

1604
01:32:56,326 --> 01:32:58,262
How you doing?

1605
01:32:59,597 --> 01:33:02,330
<i>♪ What's the matter
with the car I'm driving... ♪</i>

1606
01:33:03,268 --> 01:33:05,400
Man.

1607
01:33:05,402 --> 01:33:09,204
Um, you know, I'm, uh...

1608
01:33:09,206 --> 01:33:10,506
fucking living.

1609
01:33:10,508 --> 01:33:13,342
I'm just fucking
doing my thing here.

1610
01:33:13,344 --> 01:33:15,214
<i>♪ Nowadays you can't be
too sentimental... ♪</i>

1611
01:33:16,347 --> 01:33:17,846
How you doing?

1612
01:33:17,848 --> 01:33:19,548
I'm good.

1613
01:33:19,550 --> 01:33:22,217
I'm really good.

1614
01:33:22,219 --> 01:33:23,618
Yeah.

1615
01:33:23,620 --> 01:33:25,253
I'm sober now.

1616
01:33:25,255 --> 01:33:28,291
- No shit?
- Yeah.

1617
01:33:28,293 --> 01:33:29,425
Yeah.

1618
01:33:29,427 --> 01:33:31,894
And, uh... it's good.

1619
01:33:31,896 --> 01:33:33,895
It's really good.

1620
01:33:33,897 --> 01:33:35,898
I been doing it, too,
on and off,

1621
01:33:35,900 --> 01:33:37,867
- for, like, the last seven years, but...
- Is that right?

1622
01:33:37,869 --> 01:33:39,968
I'm fucking...
I'm a fuck up, though, man.

1623
01:33:39,970 --> 01:33:41,671
- I don't...
- Ah, it's okay.

1624
01:33:41,673 --> 01:33:44,507
I don't stick to it, but...

1625
01:33:44,509 --> 01:33:47,310
Buddy, I came this fucking
close to reaching out to you,

1626
01:33:47,312 --> 01:33:51,346
but, uh, you know,
I just chicken shitted out.

1627
01:33:51,348 --> 01:33:53,548
I'm so fucking glad
you're here.

1628
01:33:53,550 --> 01:33:57,386
Yeah. You've been
on my mind, too.

1629
01:33:57,388 --> 01:33:59,321
I just didn't know
what to fucking say.

1630
01:33:59,323 --> 01:34:00,655
I was fucking...

1631
01:34:00,657 --> 01:34:03,258
I mean,
there's nothing I can say.

1632
01:34:03,260 --> 01:34:05,595
There's nothing I can say.

1633
01:34:05,597 --> 01:34:08,330
You know, what I've been
learning is...

1634
01:34:08,332 --> 01:34:10,365
I fucked my shit up.

1635
01:34:10,367 --> 01:34:13,336
And it started
long before I met you.

1636
01:34:13,338 --> 01:34:16,239
It's all right.

1637
01:34:16,241 --> 01:34:17,974
It is. Don't feel bad.

1638
01:34:17,976 --> 01:34:22,410
No, I actually want
to tell you that I was sorry.

1639
01:34:22,412 --> 01:34:24,247
What do you mean?
You're not s...

1640
01:34:24,249 --> 01:34:25,314
What are you sorry for?

1641
01:34:25,316 --> 01:34:26,582
Hey, man,

1642
01:34:26,584 --> 01:34:29,284
I'm responsible, too,
and I'm sure that

1643
01:34:29,286 --> 01:34:31,453
it's probably
really difficult for you.

1644
01:34:31,455 --> 01:34:33,455
I mean, all those years,
I imagine.

1645
01:34:33,457 --> 01:34:36,258
I don't want you
to feel guilty or feel bad.

1646
01:34:36,260 --> 01:34:39,427
You need to know
I had a good life, man.

1647
01:34:39,429 --> 01:34:40,663
Really.

1648
01:34:40,665 --> 01:34:42,898
Things are good.

1649
01:34:42,900 --> 01:34:44,699
It's really good.

1650
01:34:44,701 --> 01:34:46,435
- No shit?
- Yeah.

1651
01:34:46,437 --> 01:34:51,039
I've had a fucking
shitty fucking life, man.

1652
01:34:51,041 --> 01:34:53,708
Sorry.

1653
01:34:53,710 --> 01:34:55,646
It's fine.

1654
01:34:59,049 --> 01:35:01,219
Um...

1655
01:35:05,423 --> 01:35:07,623
I'm coming in. I'm coming in.

1656
01:35:08,992 --> 01:35:11,327
Ah, ah, it's all right, man.

1657
01:35:21,004 --> 01:35:23,241
Hi, Mom.

1658
01:35:25,009 --> 01:35:27,310
You look pretty.

1659
01:35:31,549 --> 01:35:34,553
I guess I have to forgive you
more than anyone.

1660
01:35:37,021 --> 01:35:39,321
I've cursed you.

1661
01:35:39,323 --> 01:35:41,460
I've screamed at you.

1662
01:35:44,394 --> 01:35:47,096
I never considered what it...

1663
01:35:47,098 --> 01:35:49,401
might have been like for you.

1664
01:35:51,102 --> 01:35:54,970
Might be it was
really difficult to give me up.

1665
01:35:54,972 --> 01:35:56,439
Or maybe it wasn't.

1666
01:35:58,009 --> 01:35:59,711
And that's okay, too.

1667
01:36:02,379 --> 01:36:05,648
I guess...

1668
01:36:05,650 --> 01:36:10,354
I guess I'll never find you,
no matter how much I search.

1669
01:36:11,621 --> 01:36:14,459
Looking up every
Maggie Lynch that I could.

1670
01:36:15,727 --> 01:36:19,398
You know, I even found
someone that knew you.

1671
01:36:22,433 --> 01:36:24,069
I got close.

1672
01:36:28,039 --> 01:36:29,775
But, Mom...

1673
01:36:31,442 --> 01:36:33,376
wherever...

1674
01:36:33,378 --> 01:36:35,644
wherever you are,

1675
01:36:35,646 --> 01:36:37,549
I need you to know...

1676
01:36:40,050 --> 01:36:41,753
I forgive you.

1677
01:36:43,821 --> 01:36:45,756
It's okay.

1678
01:36:53,397 --> 01:36:56,164
What's that painting, Donnie?

1679
01:36:56,166 --> 01:36:59,502
I don't know.

1680
01:36:59,504 --> 01:37:03,342
I got it the same way I got
all this shit, inherited it.

1681
01:37:04,575 --> 01:37:06,742
It's, like...

1682
01:37:06,744 --> 01:37:09,412
my grandparents were, like...

1683
01:37:09,414 --> 01:37:12,681
fucking really rich.

1684
01:37:12,683 --> 01:37:14,650
So, like,
my parents grew up rich,

1685
01:37:14,652 --> 01:37:17,485
and then, like,
I grew up really rich.

1686
01:37:17,487 --> 01:37:20,489
It's, like, so stupid.

1687
01:37:22,125 --> 01:37:25,727
It's nice, but it's stupid.

1688
01:37:25,729 --> 01:37:30,132
Have you visited everyone
you felt you wronged?

1689
01:37:30,134 --> 01:37:32,101
Forgiven everyone
you wanted to forgive?

1690
01:37:32,103 --> 01:37:33,601
Yeah.

1691
01:37:33,603 --> 01:37:35,671
So...

1692
01:37:35,673 --> 01:37:38,440
what, I'm all cleared up, huh?

1693
01:37:38,442 --> 01:37:40,476
Step ten, next?

1694
01:37:40,478 --> 01:37:43,878
What about yourself?

1695
01:37:43,880 --> 01:37:45,480
What do you mean?

1696
01:37:45,482 --> 01:37:47,615
It's not all about your mother.

1697
01:37:47,617 --> 01:37:50,121
You have to
forgive yourself, too.

1698
01:37:51,856 --> 01:37:54,190
Forgive yourself
for listening to Dexter,

1699
01:37:54,192 --> 01:37:57,496
forgive yourself for
going with him that night.

1700
01:38:06,870 --> 01:38:08,636
Hello, Brenda.
Hello, all my friends.

1701
01:38:08,638 --> 01:38:11,239
How are you?
It is a great day today.

1702
01:38:11,241 --> 01:38:14,476
Hey, what's happening?
What's up, John?

1703
01:38:14,478 --> 01:38:16,244
Ah, nothing much.

1704
01:38:16,246 --> 01:38:18,646
You know, the usual.

1705
01:38:18,648 --> 01:38:21,617
Thought you might want
to take a look at this.

1706
01:38:21,619 --> 01:38:23,485
What's this?

1707
01:38:23,487 --> 01:38:25,156
Oh, nothing.

1708
01:38:26,523 --> 01:38:27,823
Mm-hmm.

1709
01:38:30,260 --> 01:38:32,194
That's funny.

1710
01:38:32,196 --> 01:38:33,529
What is this?

1711
01:38:33,531 --> 01:38:35,530
"Penthouse."
Oh, wow, that's nice.

1712
01:38:35,532 --> 01:38:37,632
- "Oh, well, that's nice"? That's it?
- It's great.

1713
01:38:37,634 --> 01:38:39,868
"This area's patrolled
by lesbians."

1714
01:38:39,870 --> 01:38:41,636
What are you saying
about lesbians?

1715
01:38:41,638 --> 01:38:43,506
Are they intimidating
or something?

1716
01:38:43,508 --> 01:38:45,673
No, it's not...
I'm just saying, you know,

1717
01:38:45,675 --> 01:38:46,876
well, maybe they're, like,

1718
01:38:46,878 --> 01:38:49,244
naked construction site
security...

1719
01:38:49,246 --> 01:38:51,579
Very educational article.

1720
01:38:51,581 --> 01:38:53,649
Well, it's just a cartoon.

1721
01:38:53,651 --> 01:38:55,184
- I mean, it's just supposed to be funny.
- Hey, John!

1722
01:38:55,186 --> 01:38:57,252
- John!
- Yeah?

1723
01:38:57,254 --> 01:38:58,587
What do you got?

1724
01:39:00,957 --> 01:39:03,292
- Are you ready?
- Yeah.

1725
01:39:03,294 --> 01:39:05,793
Take a look.

1726
01:39:05,795 --> 01:39:07,262
All right, let me check.

1727
01:39:07,264 --> 01:39:09,731
Okay, that's funny.

1728
01:39:09,733 --> 01:39:11,233
- It's funny.
- It's funny.

1729
01:39:11,235 --> 01:39:12,735
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

1730
01:39:12,737 --> 01:39:14,770
It is funny. Well, why do
you think it's funny?

1731
01:39:14,772 --> 01:39:16,939
- Oh, wow.
- It's, uh...

1732
01:39:16,941 --> 01:39:19,275
It's funny
'cause it makes you laugh.

1733
01:39:19,277 --> 01:39:20,310
It's not that funny.

1734
01:39:20,312 --> 01:39:22,810
The joke is funny
because of the sign

1735
01:39:22,812 --> 01:39:26,248
suggesting that lesbians will
kick your ass if you cross.

1736
01:39:26,250 --> 01:39:28,182
It's-it's unexpected.

1737
01:39:28,184 --> 01:39:30,252
It's-it's like a warning sign
for attack dogs,

1738
01:39:30,254 --> 01:39:32,288
- but instead it's lesbians.
- Thank you.

1739
01:39:32,290 --> 01:39:34,256
I mean, for the-the readers
of "Penthouse,"

1740
01:39:34,258 --> 01:39:37,959
these men, this-this plays on
this shared fear of women.

1741
01:39:37,961 --> 01:39:41,329
Just this unexpected
mutual fear.

1742
01:39:41,331 --> 01:39:42,965
I mean, it's...

1743
01:39:42,967 --> 01:39:45,234
Wow. I mean, what's scarier
than a group of women

1744
01:39:45,236 --> 01:39:47,970
that don't need men?

1745
01:39:47,972 --> 01:39:50,773
It's also just...
really fucking funny.

1746
01:39:50,775 --> 01:39:52,341
- That's what I think.
- That is funny.

1747
01:39:52,343 --> 01:39:53,909
- I didn't even think about it.
- The "lesbian,"

1748
01:39:53,911 --> 01:39:55,043
- exclamation point.
- I don't know...

1749
01:39:55,045 --> 01:39:57,346
You guys want another beer?

1750
01:39:57,348 --> 01:39:59,614
- Let me buy you guys a beer. What are you drinking?
- Uh...

1751
01:39:59,616 --> 01:40:00,916
- Gherkin.
- Cerveza?

1752
01:40:00,918 --> 01:40:02,284
- Yeah.
- You want a cerveza?

1753
01:40:02,286 --> 01:40:03,319
- Same. Yeah.
- That's fine.

1754
01:40:03,321 --> 01:40:04,819
Hey, can I get three cervezas?

1755
01:40:04,821 --> 01:40:06,654
You know what?
Beer for everybody!

1756
01:40:08,058 --> 01:40:11,760
Hey, John.
What you got for us?

1757
01:40:11,762 --> 01:40:14,296
Yes.

1758
01:40:14,298 --> 01:40:15,998
This one's great.

1759
01:40:16,000 --> 01:40:18,603
- This came for you, John.
- Awesome. Thank you.

1760
01:40:32,383 --> 01:40:34,016
Hey! Callahan!

1761
01:40:34,018 --> 01:40:35,954
Loved that lawyer joke!

1762
01:40:43,628 --> 01:40:46,794
- Hey. I loved your Jesus joke, man.
- Ah, really?

1763
01:40:46,796 --> 01:40:49,567
Thank God it's Friday.

1764
01:40:50,334 --> 01:40:52,333
Your cartoons are sickening.

1765
01:40:52,335 --> 01:40:54,939
You should be dropped
from the paper!

1766
01:40:56,040 --> 01:40:57,840
She was really mad.

1767
01:40:57,842 --> 01:40:59,874
Yeah. I like those reactions
the best, though.

1768
01:40:59,876 --> 01:41:02,845
You know? She's really
telling it like it is.

1769
01:41:02,847 --> 01:41:05,346
Over here?

1770
01:41:05,348 --> 01:41:07,082
- You want to see?
- Mm.

1771
01:41:07,084 --> 01:41:09,318
I've been in
ten different bands.

1772
01:41:09,320 --> 01:41:10,985
Yes!

1773
01:41:10,987 --> 01:41:12,421
That's what I'm talking about.

1774
01:41:12,423 --> 01:41:14,657
"Harmonious male backpacker..."

1775
01:41:14,659 --> 01:41:16,891
Oh. My God, Annu, look at this.

1776
01:41:16,893 --> 01:41:18,793
"Harmonious male backpacker

1777
01:41:18,795 --> 01:41:21,396
into making 16th century
stringed instruments

1778
01:41:21,398 --> 01:41:24,099
seeks radical feminist
household which will not

1779
01:41:24,101 --> 01:41:26,135
tease me about my testicles."

1780
01:41:27,737 --> 01:41:29,137
I mean, is this fucking real?

1781
01:41:29,139 --> 01:41:30,838
It doesn't seem
that strange, John.

1782
01:41:30,840 --> 01:41:32,041
It doesn't?

1783
01:41:32,043 --> 01:41:33,742
You're just living in the past.

1784
01:41:33,744 --> 01:41:36,113
I'm living in the pa... Oh.

1785
01:41:45,822 --> 01:41:48,093
Bye for now.

1786
01:42:07,445 --> 01:42:09,444
I got you.

1787
01:42:12,148 --> 01:42:15,150
Are you working
on your sobriety?

1788
01:42:15,152 --> 01:42:18,419
Still working on it, man.

1789
01:42:18,421 --> 01:42:21,023
Finishing all the levels?

1790
01:42:21,025 --> 01:42:22,791
Yep.

1791
01:42:22,793 --> 01:42:24,827
I spoke at a meeting last week.

1792
01:42:24,829 --> 01:42:27,096
- John.
- Yeah.

1793
01:42:27,098 --> 01:42:30,132
That is great.

1794
01:42:30,134 --> 01:42:32,400
I love step 12.

1795
01:42:32,402 --> 01:42:34,936
Yeah, I mean...

1796
01:42:34,938 --> 01:42:37,107
I was nervous, still, but...

1797
01:42:38,174 --> 01:42:40,110
I don't know, giving back.

1798
01:42:42,079 --> 01:42:44,683
You forgive yourself yet?

1799
01:42:46,916 --> 01:42:48,186
I think so.

1800
01:42:49,085 --> 01:42:52,056
What'd you forgive
yourself for?

1801
01:42:53,189 --> 01:42:55,059
I forgave myself for...

1802
01:42:56,927 --> 01:42:58,796
looking for better babes.

1803
01:43:03,200 --> 01:43:06,135
Did I ever tell you
how I stay sober?

1804
01:43:06,137 --> 01:43:07,871
Tell me again.

1805
01:43:10,875 --> 01:43:13,478
I was with someone
for a long time.

1806
01:43:15,411 --> 01:43:18,148
He was great.
He was a really sweet person.

1807
01:43:20,183 --> 01:43:23,153
But I was...
I was very selfish.

1808
01:43:27,825 --> 01:43:29,260
I was very fucked-up.

1809
01:43:32,228 --> 01:43:33,995
And, uh...

1810
01:43:33,997 --> 01:43:37,065
he... uh, he came home one day,

1811
01:43:37,067 --> 01:43:40,168
and I was having a seizure
on the floor.

1812
01:43:40,170 --> 01:43:41,905
And...

1813
01:43:51,247 --> 01:43:54,149
When I get close
to wanting a drink,

1814
01:43:54,151 --> 01:43:58,122
I... I don't think of myself
or my life.

1815
01:44:03,460 --> 01:44:06,160
I think of him.

1816
01:44:06,162 --> 01:44:08,165
His face.

1817
01:44:16,941 --> 01:44:19,842
I don't know how many, uh...

1818
01:44:19,844 --> 01:44:23,278
more of these talks
we're gonna have, 'cause...

1819
01:44:23,280 --> 01:44:26,951
I'm seeing the-the gymnasts
on the lawn, John.

1820
01:44:28,251 --> 01:44:30,254
Don't say that.

1821
01:44:35,159 --> 01:44:38,226
Big part of this program

1822
01:44:38,228 --> 01:44:40,964
is losing people
you don't want to lose.

1823
01:44:47,170 --> 01:44:50,307
Being a model to the world...

1824
01:44:53,210 --> 01:44:57,279
eternal virtue will be yours,

1825
01:44:57,281 --> 01:45:00,185
and you return
to the boundless.

1826
01:45:01,951 --> 01:45:04,019
Lao-Tzu.

1827
01:45:04,021 --> 01:45:05,186
Chuck E. Cheese.

1828
01:45:17,034 --> 01:45:19,301
I think I'm still
a little selfish.

1829
01:45:19,303 --> 01:45:22,904
I was helping
you guys a lot, 'cause...

1830
01:45:22,906 --> 01:45:24,273
it was helping me.

1831
01:45:24,275 --> 01:45:26,311
My 12th step, being a sponsor.

1832
01:45:30,246 --> 01:45:33,015
You were such
a pain in the ass, John.

1833
01:45:34,285 --> 01:45:36,217
I'm sorry.

1834
01:45:36,219 --> 01:45:38,220
You're the best, Donnie.

1835
01:45:38,222 --> 01:45:40,021
You really helped me.

1836
01:45:40,023 --> 01:45:41,558
You helped all of us.

1837
01:45:42,992 --> 01:45:45,229
It is hard
teaching people faith.

1838
01:45:55,939 --> 01:45:57,342
Give me a hug.

1839
01:46:02,179 --> 01:46:04,082
Come here.

1840
01:46:09,186 --> 01:46:11,052
Drink water.

1841
01:46:11,054 --> 01:46:12,320
You, too.

1842
01:46:12,322 --> 01:46:15,190
It doesn't work.

1843
01:46:15,192 --> 01:46:17,159
It really doesn't.

1844
01:46:18,963 --> 01:46:21,296
<i>Adios, amigo.</i>

1845
01:46:21,298 --> 01:46:23,230
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

1846
01:46:23,232 --> 01:46:25,266
He used to wear these
really, really cool scarves.

1847
01:46:25,268 --> 01:46:27,168
Yeah, he looks like a wizard.

1848
01:46:27,170 --> 01:46:29,171
Yeah, Donnie got
really sick over time.

1849
01:46:29,173 --> 01:46:32,173
- And they discovered he had AIDS.
- Mm.

1850
01:46:32,175 --> 01:46:35,209
That was the last time
I saw him before he died.

1851
01:46:35,211 --> 01:46:37,244
- Oh.
- The truth...

1852
01:46:37,246 --> 01:46:39,114
- Yeah, the truth hurts.
- Yeah. Yeah.

1853
01:46:39,116 --> 01:46:40,649
Unfortunately.

1854
01:46:40,651 --> 01:46:42,117
So, do you want to come
to the skate ramp with us?

1855
01:46:42,119 --> 01:46:43,651
- Yeah.
- Yeah, absolutely.

1856
01:46:43,653 --> 01:46:45,087
Where is it?

1857
01:46:45,089 --> 01:46:46,355
Uh, it's down the block,
actually.

1858
01:46:46,357 --> 01:46:48,323
- Show me the way.
- Yeah! It's there.

1859
01:46:50,193 --> 01:46:52,627
- That way.
- That way?

1860
01:47:13,317 --> 01:47:15,249
<i>I'd like to thank</i>

1861
01:47:15,251 --> 01:47:17,722
all those who made it possible
for me to be here tonight.

1862
01:47:33,269 --> 01:47:35,203
I feel...

1863
01:47:37,273 --> 01:47:41,243
...stimulated, magical.

1864
01:47:41,245 --> 01:47:43,211
At night, I seem
to think more clearly.

1865
01:47:43,213 --> 01:47:48,085
<i>I work hard, but it doesn't
feel like work to me.</i>

1866
01:47:51,287 --> 01:47:53,355
<i>The intellectual clutter
of the daytime hours</i>

1867
01:47:53,357 --> 01:47:58,060
dissolves from my mind,
which moves in an almost...

1868
01:47:58,062 --> 01:48:00,999
instinctual, animal way.

1869
01:48:02,198 --> 01:48:03,768
I'm happy.

1870
01:48:05,302 --> 01:48:07,702
I don't care that the job

1871
01:48:07,704 --> 01:48:10,271
or the welfare office
is giving me gray hairs,

1872
01:48:10,273 --> 01:48:11,742
because...

1873
01:48:13,410 --> 01:48:19,247
ideas and images
are flowing through me

1874
01:48:19,249 --> 01:48:21,285
and onto the paper.

1875
01:48:23,420 --> 01:48:26,288
I'd like to thank
all those who made it possible

1876
01:48:26,290 --> 01:48:28,292
for me to be here tonight.

1877
01:48:31,195 --> 01:48:33,331
Because if it weren't
for you...

1878
01:48:34,464 --> 01:48:37,466
I don't think
I would have made it.

1879
01:49:14,470 --> 01:49:16,171
- Yeah!
- Yeah!

1880
01:49:16,173 --> 01:49:17,305
Oh.

1881
01:49:17,307 --> 01:49:18,773
- That was good.
- Yeah, John.

1882
01:49:18,775 --> 01:49:20,175
Get it!

1883
01:49:20,177 --> 01:49:21,275
- Yeah!
- Whoo!

1884
01:49:21,277 --> 01:49:23,345
- Oh. Uh-oh.
- Oh!

1885
01:49:24,514 --> 01:49:26,780
- Gnarly!
- You all right?

1886
01:49:26,782 --> 01:49:28,550
Let's go, get him up.

1887
01:49:28,552 --> 01:49:30,252
- Get his, get his shoulders.
- You okay?

1888
01:49:30,254 --> 01:49:32,319
Here. Hold up.

1889
01:49:48,568 --> 01:49:53,568
Subtitles by explosiveskull

1890
01:51:19,295 --> 01:51:25,333
<i>♪ I met you
on a highway night ♪</i>

1891
01:51:25,335 --> 01:51:30,308
<i>♪ Inside a Texas rain ♪</i>

1892
01:51:31,474 --> 01:51:37,511
<i>♪ The year that Mama
lost her mind ♪</i>

1893
01:51:37,513 --> 01:51:42,619
<i>♪ And Papa went insane ♪</i>

1894
01:51:43,586 --> 01:51:48,557
<i>♪ And Papa went insane ♪</i>

1895
01:51:52,629 --> 01:51:59,301
<i>♪ You took me
on a Texas trail ♪</i>

1896
01:51:59,303 --> 01:52:03,573
<i>♪ Laredo to Larue ♪</i>

1897
01:52:04,974 --> 01:52:11,378
<i>♪ It took me
all those Texas towns ♪</i>

1898
01:52:11,380 --> 01:52:17,351
<i>♪ To fall in love with you ♪</i>

1899
01:52:17,353 --> 01:52:21,691
<i>♪ Fall in love with you ♪</i>

1900
01:52:25,795 --> 01:52:32,434
<i>♪ The babies came
in winter time ♪</i>

1901
01:52:32,436 --> 01:52:36,573
<i>♪ You settled by the stove ♪</i>

1902
01:52:40,643 --> 01:52:46,681
<i>♪ You played a song
that seemed so long ♪</i>

1903
01:52:46,683 --> 01:52:51,722
<i>♪ About a road you drove ♪</i>

1904
01:52:52,723 --> 01:52:57,795
<i>♪ bout a road you drove ♪</i>

1905
01:53:01,764 --> 01:53:07,435
<i>♪ Once you spoke of Paris ♪</i>

1906
01:53:07,437 --> 01:53:12,076
<i>♪ And Mama said to you ♪</i>

1907
01:53:13,744 --> 01:53:19,413
<i>♪ There's a Paris far away ♪</i>

1908
01:53:19,415 --> 01:53:23,720
<i>♪ And one in Texas, too ♪</i>

1909
01:53:25,155 --> 01:53:30,393
<i>♪ And one in Texas, too ♪</i>

1910
01:53:34,130 --> 01:53:40,635
<i>♪ The moon is set
inside the pines ♪</i>

1911
01:53:40,637 --> 01:53:46,673
<i>♪ Your sleep is often slow ♪</i>

1912
01:53:46,675 --> 01:53:52,446
<i>♪ When you leave me,
leave me here ♪</i>

1913
01:53:52,448 --> 01:53:57,354
<i>♪ In Texas when you go ♪</i>

1914
01:53:58,455 --> 01:54:02,693
<i>♪ In Texas when you go ♪</i>