Disney channel.
Yes! Still got it!
♪ ♪
hey, ivy, where were you this morning?
Oh, I was gonna walk with you guys,
but my new friend suggested a more efficient route.
What new friend?
Oh, I don't know.
-Bam! -(booker gasps)
-the galactic 14?! -Yup.
It took six months of chores, all my birthday money,
and a gig playing trombone
at barry lieberman's bar mitzvah,
but I finally got it.
-It's the best. 6g, seven cameras-- -ooh, ooh.
And 850 kids at this school that don't have it.
-Well, let me see. -(chuckles) no way.
I'm not letting you touch my baby.
I've seen how you treat your phone.
Your screen is jacked.
Mine isn't.
(phone screen shatters)
okay, now it is.
The only person that is touching this phone is me.
Because unlike you two,
I am responsible with my things.
I wouldn't wave that thing around if I were you.
We've had a string of thefts
in the school lately.
That's why I
keep the new school laptops locked up tight.
Got the key right here.
Can't find it, can you?
Get to class.
(bell rings)
hey, ivy.
Maybe I should hold your phone.
You know, for, like, safekeeping.
You heard what principal rivera said,
things have been going missing.
Hm, you touch my phone and you'll go missing.
(theme music playing)
♪ ha, ha! Lemme tell ya somethin' ♪
♪ had my vision all worked out ♪
♪ but then life had other plans ♪
♪ tell 'em, mom ♪
♪ it's crazy when things turn upside down ♪
♪ but ya gotta get up and take that chance ♪
♪ new city, I'm finding my way ♪
♪ it's gonna take some time ♪
-♪ yeah, we're gonna be okay ♪ -♪ ya know I got you, right? ♪
♪ it might be wild, but ya know that we make it work ♪
♪ we're just fam caught up in a crazy world ♪
-♪ c'mon! ♪ -♪ it's raven's home ♪
-♪ we get loud! ♪ -♪ yeah, raven's home ♪
♪ it's our crowd! ♪
♪ might be tough, but together we make it look good ♪
♪ down for each other like family should ♪
-♪ it's raven's home ♪ -♪ when it's tough ♪
-♪ yeah, raven's home ♪ -♪ we got love ♪
♪ 'cos no matter the weather, ya know we gon' shine ♪
♪ there for each other, ya know it's our time ♪
(raven laughing)
yep! That's us.
♪ ♪
remember, your self-portraits need to be turned in
by the end of the day.
Hm.
-Um, neil. -Mm?
The portrait's supposed to be of you.
-Mm-hm. -That's of ms. Linda.
Aw, man!
My heart overpowered my brain again.
I'll just stick a mustache on it.
-You don't have a mustache. -(chuckles)
but I have until the end of the day to grow one.
Hey, ivy, I need to use your phone.
I'm tryin' to take a selfie-portrait.
-Use your own phone. -I did.
How'd you get that cracked effect?
Yeah, well, you know how my screen is cracked?
-Mm-hm. -Turns out my lens is cracked, too.
Please, ivy, you gotta help me.
Ah, I-I can't. I'm sorry.
Come on. I promise I won't break it.
I-I don't have it with me.
(sighs) okay, fine.
I didn't wanna tell anyone...
But--
(whooshing)
I can't believe it! We caught the thief!
(whooshing)
-your phone was stolen! -What?!
That's why you won't let me use it!
Because it was stolen!
Why would you think that?
I don't know. Maybe booker's psychic.
What?!
Why would you-- what?
I'm not psychic.
It's just that ivy is way too responsible
to let anything happen to her phone.
Don't have to be psychic to know that, right?
Ah, that's true.
Ivy's, like, the most responsible
person in the whole school,
so if she doesn't have her phone,
it can only be because it was stolen.
Is that what happened?
Yeah, that, that's exactly what happened.
I didn't wanna say it, but I'm glad you guys did.
Don't worry, ivy.
I know how hard you worked to save up for that phone.
-We're gonna help you get it back. -You really don't have to.
No. We are going to catch that thief.
All right, we'll start by compiling a list of suspects.
Who couldn't wait to get their hands on it?
-You two. -And we know it wasn't us.
-Or do we? -Yes, we do!
♪ ♪
what a wonderful walk. Right, dad?
Ooh, we saw a hummingbird,
and a, a dog with a hat on its head,
and then, ooh, that woman
that had a carriage with a chicken in it.
Man, this neighborhood's gotten weird.
I'm sorry, rae, I didn't hear a word you said.
I was too distracted by the smell of bacon.
Oh, well, you're gonna have a delicious bowl of oatmeal.
-How does that sound? -Sounds like I should've been
nicer to you when you were a kid.
Well, I'm gonna make sure lazlo puts flaxseed in your oatmeal
instead of cookie crumbles.
-You knew about that? -'course I did.
Nobody asks for a second helping of flaxseed.
Is this a test?
Is she watchin' me?
You know what?
I'mma show her... I am not gonna eat it.
Who am I kiddin'?
Ah, ah! Sorry, partner.
This swine is mine.
Also have a triple espresso with a hot sauce chaser.
Burns goin' in, burns goin' out.
Lets you know you're alive.
-Stone. -Victor.
Ooh, victor, my friend,
that's a heapin' bowl of sadness right there.
Sometimes she lets me put raisins in it.
No.
Eating what somebody else wants you to eat?
That's no way to live.
Well, I really don't have a choice.
I recently had a heart attack.
Oh, well, shouldn't you be celebratin' the fact
you didn't die instead of livin' like you did?
I never really thought about it that way.
My daughter says I need to take better care of my heart.
Yeah, but you also gotta take care of your soul.
My daughter says that's what walks are for.
Today we saw a hummingbird.
Hey, yeah, and that hummingbird saw you, too.
You know what the hummingbird thought?
Pff. What a bummer.
I didn't mean to bum out a hummingbird.
-But my daughter said-- -ah, ah, ah.
"my daughter says, my daughter says, my daughter says."
I don't wanna hear what your daughter says.
I wanna know what big vic want.
Big vic want bacon.
Alllrrrighty then, big vic!
That right there was the first bite of the rest of your life.
Now, what're you gonna do with that life, huh?
Huh? Climb mount everest?
Free dive in shark-infested waters?
I've always wanted
to rent one of those scooters
they leave on the sidewalk.
Those look like fun!
You darn right it's fun!
-But my daughter-- -ah! Is not invited.
-Let's roll. Let's roll. -Let's roll.
Rollin'.
Dad?
Oh, must be in the bathroom.
Flaxseed's workin' already.
♪ ♪
neil: Ow!
Neil, be quiet. All right, we're undercover.
The thief could be anyone at the school.
All right, I'll be quiet...
If I "can." ha. Get it?
Because of the cans and the--
can't believe I forgot my lunch.
Ooh, can drive!
Gotta be some clam chowder in here.
Manhattan?
Neil (softly): Ow.
(mischievous music playing)
(coughing)
♪ ♪
so, what was in the box?
Mixtapes.
Turns out the janitor has a side hustle as dj plunger.
So, you guys didn't find anything.
Pff... Only the underground hit of the summer.
Yeah, maybe it's time to stop this investigation.
No, not until we catch the thief.
What's this I hear about a thief?
Oh, somebody stole ivy's new galactic 14.
-Are you sure it's stolen? -Well--
of course, she is. That's not something she'd lie about.
Do you have any suspects, motives, clues?
Wow, she's good.
We didn't think of any of those things before we started investigating.
Maybe there's nothing to find.
Okay, look, guys. There is no thief.
Principal rivera (on pa): Attention students.
The school's new laptops have been reported missing.
If you have any information, come to my office immediately.
And just a reminder, the can food drive is still going on
and there is a high demand for clam chowder...
New England clam chowder.
-Somebody stole the school's laptops?! -I--
dun, dun, duuun!
Sorry, I've always wanted to do that.
♪ ♪
okay, first your phone, and now, the laptops.
-There really is a thief. -Of course, there is!
You'd think we blow off three classes for nothing?
-Well-- -don't answer that.
I, I gotta go.
Where's she goin'?
Did you see her face when they announced the laptops?
Yeah... That was pretty suspicious.
Wait, wait, wait. You guys think it was the lunch lady?
Well, she is acting kinda weird.
But she's been actin' like that all day.
(mischievous music playing)
...If I "can."
get it? Because of the cans and the--
♪ ♪
(coughing)
you didn't think to mention all that?
It was the lunch lady!
Nobody would suspect the lunch lady.
-Exactly! It's the perfect cover! -We gotta take her down!
Oh, now it's "we"?
♪ ♪
(laughing)
you a wild man, young veezy!
Fallin' down those steps, holdin' onto that rail,
slidin' into the street, and slammin' into that taxi.
-Whatchu call that move? -Tryin' not to break a hip.
(laughing)
-woo! -Shhh. Keep it down.
-I don't want my daughter to hear us. -Oh, okay, all right.
Hear you what?
Hey, raven!
No, no, no. Don't "hey raven" me.
Where have you been, dad?
You just disappeared from the chill grill,
you're not answering your phone.
-You had me worried sick. -I'm sorry, raven.
-I, I, I w-wasn't thinking. -No, no, no, no, no, no.
Don't apologize for livin'.
I mean, it's the very thing that makes us alive.
I'm sorry... Who are you?
I'm stone.
Thrill seeker. Adrenaline junkie.
Human being.
Let me talk to you for a minute, phony hawk.
Isn't he great? Raven, I gotta thank you.
If you hadn't forced me out of the house this morning,
I never would've met him!
Uh... This is my fault now?
No! No, stone says that I'm in a rut.
A rut? Dad, takin' care of your heart is not a rut.
-What about my soul? -You didn't have a soul attack.
Stone says that you can't just live off of oatmeal.
Stone says that I need more, more, more danger in my diet.
Danger?! Okay, this is it.
Dad, I forbid you from hangin' out with stone.
Stone said you'd say that.
Sorry, stone. My daughter says we can't hang out anymore.
Oh, all right.
All right, then. Why don't you just relax in your recliner?
Have some warm milk.
You know, maybe take a lil' nappy-nap.
But do you know where I'll be?
At golden gate park.
Walking a slackline between the redwoods.
Smelling the birds. And you know why?
'cause I'm stone.
That's right. I'm fearless.
And the reservations are non-refundable, so.
Ha! Good riddance.
"well, I'm stone."
I'mma go hang with my friend, stone.
No, no, no. Don't you go out that door!
Don't you get on that motorcycle!
(motorcycle revving)
don't you ride that motorcycle without a helmet!
(motorcycle drives off)
one out ofin't bad.
♪ ♪
yes, new England, finally!
-Principal rivera! -I, I brought this from home.
We know who took the laptops.
Raven's son. I should've known.
Baxter, you are coming with me.
-What? It wasn't me. It was the lunch lady. -No.
What?! That's not possible.
No, no, no. It's true.
She's been sneaking around all day.
And when you announced the laptops were stolen,
she ran out of the cafeteria.
How do you explain that?
I can assure you,
it's not the lunch lady.
It has to be! I know it!
Just stay outta this.
I don't understand.
We're the ones who catch the thief. I saw it.
Wait, saw it?
I feel like there's something you're not telling us.
(laughs)
what? What? What wouldn't I be telling you?
Oh, look, ivy looks like she's got something she wants to say.
G-- principal rivera is right.
We never should've gotten involved in this.
Okay? Face it.
We were wrong.
Booker: Wrong?
You never admit you're wrong.
Okay, now I feel like there's something you're not telling us.
-I'm not hiding anything. -Neither am I.
Both: Let's just go to class.
Am I the one hiding something?
♪ ♪
wow...
-We are really high up here. -Yes, that's the point.
It gives you a whole new perspective.
You got this, man. Come on. You're the notorious v.I.C.
(laughs) I like that.
-Okay, okay. I can, I can do this. -Uh-huh.
Yeah, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo.
Ooh, hoo, hoo, hoo. You're right!
I'm doin' it! This is amazing!
Oh, stone, stone, stone! You should get out here.
Stone?
Stone, you comin'?
Nah, bruh, I'm good.
What do you mean "you good"?
I mean, this is, this is scary.
This is like, like, like, like,
waaay scarier than I thought it would be.
-Stone, where you goin'? -I'm chickenin' out.
But you have fun! I'm proud of you, v!
Stone! Stone, wait!
Oh, man! You my ride, stone!
♪ ♪
you really thought putting a mustache on that thing
would make it look more like you?
You're right. This is crazy.
Mine's not even a mustache.
It's an eyebrow.
I gotta get this thing outta here before ms. Linda grades it.
-Should we get a cart? -You don't need a cart. You got me.
You gonna need a cart.
And I don't get it.
I was sure we were gonna catch the thief today.
Neil: Hey, guys! I found a cart!
Just gotta take off all these laptops.
Neil, these are all the stolen laptops!
The lunch lady must've stashed 'em here
so she could come back and get 'em.
It's the thief! Quick, hide!
-Oh, it's just ms. Linda. -Okay.
Just ms. Linda?
I think you mean smart, driven, multi-faceted...
Always smells like strawberries ms. Linda.
All right, man, we really need to talk about
what's goin' on here, but not now.
I've got the laptops. You got the money?
Good... Meet me behind the school in 10 minutes.
Strawberries will never smell the same again.
-Hey, hey, what're you doing? -Getting proof.
Booker! Ivy! Neil!
-Uh, we didn't hear anything. -Didn't see anything, either.
What are you guys talking about?
We saw and heard everything.
How could you?
I know you're in the middle of a felony, so, uh,
we'll get out your hair.
You're not going anywhere.
Dun, dun, duuun!
♪ ♪
what has gotten into that man?
Can you believe he just walked out of the door like that?
It's a classic late-life crisis
brought on by his heart attack,
and the ceding of control to his adult daughter.
How do you know that?
My bus driver's goin' through some stuff.
(phone rings)
-dad?! -Victor (on phone): I made a huge mistake!
Stone bailed on me!
And now, I'm stuck on this stupid slackline all by myself!
I'm scared, raven. I'm scared!
O-o-okay. I'll be right there. Just hang on!
Hang on?! Is that supposed to be some kind of joke?!
-No, but it is kinda funny. -Raven!
Dad?! Okay, dad, I'll be right there! (gasps)
you know, when I was in charge of pop-pop,
he never got stuck in a tree.
I'm just sayin'.
♪ ♪
how could someone who teaches something so beautiful...
Do something so ugly?
I'm not really an art teacher.
It's a cover to scam my way into schools.
You's just a thief.
A thief who's about to make a fortune selling stolen laptops.
We're gonna tell everyone.
No one is going to believe you. You have no proof.
Hmm, actually, we do.
I just recorded your whole confession on my phone.
-I thought your phone was stolen. -It is now.
Hey!
She's getting away!
I can't believe it! We caught the thief!
Actually... I caught the thief.
I'm not really a lunch lady.
I'm detective andrea walker... Sfpd.
I did not see that coming.
♪ ♪
really, dad? You couldn't have had a late-life crisis
closer to the ground?
I'm sorry, rae... I, I just wanna feel like myself again.
I know, dad, I know. But listen, this isn't you.
This is some rando that you met at the chill grill.
All right, and we're gonna get you down
and we'll talk about it when we get home.
-Now, now come on over to me. -Okay, okay.
I can't, I can't.
Really? You gon' make me come out there?
Yes, please.
Okay, dad.
All right, here we go. I'mma help--
I'mma, I'mma just--
-you can do it! -Ahh.
-(yelps) -ahh!
(grunting)
clench it up. There it is.
Okay, dad... Now, uh, gimme your hand.
-I'm not lettin' go. -Me neither.
What are we gonna do?
Both (shouting): Help!
-Help! Help! -(beeping)
ted, bring us down slow.
I feel like this is a perfect time to renegotiate my bedtime.
♪ ♪
hey, principal rivera,
did you know the lunch lady was a undercover cop?
Of course, I did.
I know everything that goes on in my school.
Mm... You didn't know where the laptops were.
-Get to class. -But school's over.
Then go home!
Hey, ivy. Did you have your phone on you the whole time?
Um... Yes. It was never really stolen.
-I dropped it. -You lied to us?
I was gonna tell you guys, but I made such a big deal
about how responsible I was.
So, when booker assumed it was stolen,
I just went with it.
I'm sorry.
Ivy... We're teenagers.
All right, we do dumb things.
But if you never mess up, then... You can't learn from your mistakes.
I learned that my heart can deceive me.
And that I can't grow a mustache in one day.
And I learned that next time I mess up...
Which may be in a long time, if ever...
I'll tell you guys the truth.
Aww.
Guys, I can't wait till we're all adults
and don't make dumb mistakes anymore.
News anchor: Hugh slackley here at golden gate park,
where two adults have made one very dumb mistake.
Or maybe you always do dumb things.
Are those cameras? No, no, no, no, no, no.
You gotta edit this part out. I don't want my son seeing.
What? Oh, we're live? Oh, hi.
Very dumb things.
♪ ♪
(drum roll)