1
00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:09,050
[scratching sounds]
2
00:00:19,477 --> 00:00:21,312
Oh. Hi, honey.
3
00:00:22,230 --> 00:00:25,150
I heard the scritch scratch
and thought we had a little mouse.
4
00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:26,735
Quiet, I'm working.
5
00:00:27,152 --> 00:00:29,279
A rude little mouse. What you working on?
6
00:00:29,362 --> 00:00:31,656
My Socratic seminar for ethics class.
7
00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:34,784
Sounds fancy. What's a Socratic seminar?
8
00:00:35,994 --> 00:00:38,329
We read an article
and come up with talking points,
9
00:00:38,413 --> 00:00:40,053
which is what I'm trying to do right now,
10
00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:41,750
and then we discuss.
11
00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:43,543
Participation is mandatory.
12
00:00:43,626 --> 00:00:45,503
So, it's a conversation?
13
00:00:46,379 --> 00:00:48,048
No, it's a Socratic seminar.
14
00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:50,008
Sounds like a conversation.
15
00:00:50,091 --> 00:00:52,594
- Okay, but it's a Socratic seminar.
- Okay.
16
00:00:52,677 --> 00:00:56,931
Well, whatever you call it,
I'm thinking steel cut oats, brain food.
17
00:00:57,015 --> 00:00:59,017
You call it a Socratic seminar.
18
00:01:00,518 --> 00:01:01,518
Got it.
19
00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:03,313
Socratic seminar.
20
00:01:04,689 --> 00:01:05,690
Casey, you up?
21
00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:08,818
- Shit. We fell asleep.
- [snores]
22
00:01:09,986 --> 00:01:11,905
Uh, one second, Dad, I got a boob out!
23
00:01:11,988 --> 00:01:14,491
Oh, crap! Oh, crap! Oh, crap!
24
00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:18,620
Oh, hey, Casey, can you tell your dad
that I can do the ride-along today?
25
00:01:18,703 --> 00:01:20,663
If you're still alive. Go.
26
00:01:23,833 --> 00:01:25,311
- Hey.
- Hey, I'm leaving in ten minutes
27
00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:26,353
if you want a ride to practice.
28
00:01:26,377 --> 00:01:28,671
Yeah, okay, cool, cool. [clears throat]
29
00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:30,799
- What's going on?
- Nothing.
30
00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:32,550
[clears throat, deeper voice] Nothing.
31
00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:35,678
Hey, Dad, Evan told me
he could do the ride along today...
32
00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:38,264
Yesterday, well, he told me yesterday.
33
00:01:38,348 --> 00:01:39,682
All right, well, it's at 3:00.
34
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:42,727
And if he likes it, I could set him up
with a good training program,
35
00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:45,011
'cause you gotta be ready
for those certification tests,
36
00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:46,540
- Mm-hmm,
- especially the written one.
37
00:01:46,564 --> 00:01:48,733
- It's a killer.
- Okay, I will tell him... text him.
38
00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:50,360
- I'll let him know. Sorry.
- Okay.
39
00:01:51,444 --> 00:01:52,529
Oh, God.
40
00:01:52,862 --> 00:01:54,447
I didn't know there was a test.
41
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,991
If my dad can do it, you'll be fine.
42
00:01:57,659 --> 00:02:00,578
Now the real test:
can you jump out of a very high window?
43
00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:03,790
How long have you been doing this?
44
00:02:03,873 --> 00:02:05,375
Since 3:49 a.m.
45
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,210
You have to eat, honey.
46
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,547
I just need to do well on this.
47
00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:13,550
There are eight of these,
and they make up a big part of our grade.
48
00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:16,052
And in high school,
there were tests and papers,
49
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:17,679
and I know how to do those,
50
00:02:17,762 --> 00:02:20,390
but I've never done this,
so I need to be prepared.
51
00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:22,851
Well, based on this scroll,
I'd say you are.
52
00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:23,934
It's not a scroll.
53
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:26,062
Good morning, family.
54
00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:29,149
- Hey, hey!
- Hey!
55
00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:33,111
Hear ye, hear ye,
I formally pronounce you all lame!
56
00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:34,713
Casey, give your brother his scroll back.
57
00:02:34,737 --> 00:02:35,864
It's not a scroll.
58
00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:39,826
- Case, do you want some steel cut oats?
- Steel cut oats!
59
00:02:39,909 --> 00:02:42,245
- This is prison food, Mother.
- What?
60
00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:44,956
This is going right in the trash
where it belongs.
61
00:02:45,039 --> 00:02:47,667
We are not gonna be allowed
to have this at our house. Watch.
62
00:02:47,750 --> 00:02:49,419
Watch me, I'll do it! I'll do it!
63
00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:51,838
- Casey. Are you possessed?
- [Doug] What are you doing?
64
00:02:51,921 --> 00:02:53,423
[Casey] Right in the trash.
65
00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:55,466
- Grow up. Put the oatmeal back.
- Knock it off.
66
00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:57,027
- Straight in the trash!
- [Doug] Put the oatmeal back.
67
00:02:57,051 --> 00:02:59,679
- [Casey] I'm gonna do it.
- [Elsa] Okay, honey, that's enough.
68
00:02:59,762 --> 00:03:03,558
[Casey sighs]
I changed my mind. It smells delicious.
69
00:03:04,475 --> 00:03:07,103
- I'd love a bowl with extra cinnamon.
- A real comedian today.
70
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,188
Thank you.
71
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:22,869
You can do this. You can do this.
You can do this. You can do this.
72
00:03:24,495 --> 00:03:26,789
Miss Hardaway, we're ready for you.
73
00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:29,334
[sighs]
74
00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:32,378
Go get 'em, Paige.
75
00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:37,759
Did I throw that burrito?
76
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,219
Yes, I did.
77
00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:44,933
And was it extra hot because I used
the popcorn setting on accident? Yes.
78
00:03:45,683 --> 00:03:46,684
Yes, it was.
79
00:03:47,435 --> 00:03:50,605
But before you shatter my dreams
of being a Bowdoin polar bear,
80
00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:52,523
I ask you to consider...
81
00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:54,150
what I went through.
82
00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:56,611
What the dorm rat went through.
83
00:03:57,654 --> 00:03:59,822
Now, being away from home is hard enough,
84
00:04:00,281 --> 00:04:03,868
but the other stuff,
the name calling, the ostracizing...
85
00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:07,664
the small chunks of cheese
left on my doorstep...
86
00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:11,209
Now, I may not have first-degree
queso burns on my cheek,
87
00:04:11,292 --> 00:04:13,419
but I do have scars that you can't see,
88
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:14,920
on my soul.
89
00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:19,759
Okay, Miss Hardaway,
90
00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:23,763
we'll review your case with the dean
and reach out when we've made a decision.
91
00:04:25,473 --> 00:04:26,474
Oh.
92
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:32,272
I made you all little Rice Krispie treats
in the shape of Bowdoin polar bears.
93
00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:36,391
They're the gluten-free, so...
94
00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:43,700
Thank you for your time.
95
00:04:45,994 --> 00:04:49,330
♪ Forward the white on through the fight ♪
96
00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:52,292
♪ Emblem of honor peerless and bright... ♪
97
00:04:54,752 --> 00:04:57,714
Welcome to your first Socratic seminar.
98
00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:00,049
The rules are simple.
99
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:03,720
If you don't talk by the time
that clocks says 10:25,
100
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:05,387
you fail.
101
00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:08,850
Your topic is artificial intelligence.
102
00:05:15,606 --> 00:05:16,858
You should be talking by now.
103
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,820
Well, I think to know what the impact
of artificial intelligence is
104
00:05:20,903 --> 00:05:22,280
in our society,
105
00:05:22,363 --> 00:05:24,073
we need to define what society needs.
106
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,284
AI won't kill us before climate change.
107
00:05:26,367 --> 00:05:28,995
[student] I heard surgeons can implant
screens in people's bodies.
108
00:05:29,078 --> 00:05:31,289
I talk to Siri more than I talk to my mom.
109
00:05:31,372 --> 00:05:32,999
Nobody's going to be able to live
110
00:05:33,082 --> 00:05:35,209
if there's no planet to live on.
111
00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:37,045
For all you know, I'm a robot.
112
00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:41,507
Excuse me, I think I'm in the wrong class.
Is this Intro German?
113
00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:44,093
- [professor] You should be talking.
- [overlapping chatter]
114
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:46,054
[student] The world is so dead anyway.
115
00:05:46,137 --> 00:05:47,305
Time.
116
00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:05,114
Oh! I'm sorry.
117
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:08,159
Elsa. What a surprise.
118
00:06:08,242 --> 00:06:10,119
Hi. I was just shopping.
119
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:13,498
Me too. I just had my hair done.
Jeffrey's. [laughs]
120
00:06:13,581 --> 00:06:14,957
Every six weeks.
121
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,584
Well, you look good.
122
00:06:17,585 --> 00:06:18,753
You as well.
123
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,046
How are the kids?
124
00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:26,469
Good. Sam just started college.
Casey got her driver's license.
125
00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:28,262
Oh, my.
126
00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:30,390
They grow up so fast.
127
00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:31,974
Yeah, they sure do.
128
00:06:35,019 --> 00:06:37,605
Well then, have a nice day.
129
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,900
- Bye, Mom.
- Bye.
130
00:07:06,759 --> 00:07:07,760
[phone beeps]
131
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:12,014
- An F?
- Hi, Sam.
132
00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:14,058
I worked so hard. Look.
133
00:07:14,475 --> 00:07:17,061
I had much better points than most
of those other kids.
134
00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:19,647
And you also had a much longer
piece of paper.
135
00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:22,942
I thought it would be easier
than flipping through pages.
136
00:07:23,025 --> 00:07:24,861
- Was it?
- Not at all.
137
00:07:26,988 --> 00:07:30,658
Well, you have some really good
points here, your royal majesty.
138
00:07:30,741 --> 00:07:32,869
I know. So I pass?
139
00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:35,705
No. You know the rules.
You talk or you fail.
140
00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:37,331
You can try again next week.
141
00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:41,294
But I've never gotten an F
on anything before.
142
00:07:41,377 --> 00:07:45,047
Except at my mom's summer school
and her F stood for "funtastic."
143
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:46,883
Well, she sounds like a delight.
144
00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:58,019
Hang on a second, Sam.
145
00:08:00,062 --> 00:08:01,981
She said I could write a paper instead,
146
00:08:02,064 --> 00:08:04,567
so I did that, and I handed it in.
147
00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:06,819
Now I'm just waiting
to see about my grade.
148
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:08,488
I'm sure I'll get an A.
149
00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:10,281
Then why so blue, my boo?
150
00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:13,618
Because I still failed the assignment.
151
00:08:13,701 --> 00:08:16,621
And there's seven more,
and I'll probably fail those
152
00:08:16,704 --> 00:08:17,580
so I'm doomed.
153
00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:19,248
I'm sorry, Sam.
154
00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:21,042
I wish I was there.
155
00:08:21,792 --> 00:08:24,128
I could really use some us time, too.
156
00:08:24,212 --> 00:08:26,380
Yeah, it's hard being apart.
157
00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:30,718
Usually I don't mind that much
because you're really distracting.
158
00:08:30,801 --> 00:08:32,970
But right now it'd be nice.
159
00:08:33,095 --> 00:08:36,599
Aww. That is so sweet.
160
00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:38,476
And so mean.
161
00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:41,771
But I've got just the thing for you,
Sam Gardner.
162
00:08:42,438 --> 00:08:44,148
Stand up and go to your dresser.
163
00:08:47,401 --> 00:08:49,362
And look in the top drawer.
164
00:08:50,863 --> 00:08:53,282
And take out the blue whale shirt
and put it on.
165
00:08:53,991 --> 00:08:55,576
How did you know it would be clean?
166
00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:57,787
Well, no one's getting anywhere
betting against Elsa.
167
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:02,583
Do you feel better?
168
00:09:02,959 --> 00:09:03,960
Yes.
169
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:06,921
Good. That was step one. Step two is...
170
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:08,798
we're having a dinner party.
171
00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:10,633
That doesn't make me feel better.
172
00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:13,970
Well, that one's for me.
But it'll be so fun.
173
00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:16,347
We'll invite all of our friends,
and we'll just...
174
00:09:16,430 --> 00:09:18,432
be able to forget about
all our pesky problems.
175
00:09:19,433 --> 00:09:21,519
But you're in Maine.
176
00:09:21,602 --> 00:09:23,813
What's a little distance
in the face of true love?
177
00:09:24,772 --> 00:09:26,357
I think it's still distance.
178
00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:27,983
Wrong.
179
00:09:28,484 --> 00:09:30,278
I'm in a can-do state of mind, Sam.
180
00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:32,780
- You should really join me.
- What?
181
00:09:32,863 --> 00:09:34,323
We're having a dinner party.
182
00:09:36,450 --> 00:09:38,536
- Should I invite Zahid?
- [cell phone chimes]
183
00:09:38,619 --> 00:09:40,705
He and Gretchen have already confirmed.
184
00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:43,124
[squeals] This is so exciting.
185
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:51,882
There you are. What the heck happened
with your boyfriend today?
186
00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:52,800
What?
187
00:09:52,883 --> 00:09:56,887
Wait, I've been doing hills and intervals.
188
00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:58,139
Intervals on hills.
189
00:09:58,889 --> 00:10:01,642
- Do I still have legs?
- Evan didn't show up for the ride-along.
190
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:04,437
- What?
- Yeah, maybe something came up,
191
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,772
but I expected a call or something.
192
00:10:07,356 --> 00:10:09,692
- That's weird.
- Yeah, and we were ready for him.
193
00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:11,360
Chuck even wore his good pants.
194
00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:14,947
Man, I'm sorry, Dad. Something must
have happened. I'll check in with him.
195
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:17,366
- All right, do that.
- Yeah.
196
00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:20,161
You're working hard. I'm proud of you.
197
00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:21,786
Thanks.
198
00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:24,040
Damn.
199
00:10:35,384 --> 00:10:36,927
Did you get Paige's e-vite?
200
00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:38,220
Hello, brother.
201
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:39,430
Yes or no?
202
00:10:39,513 --> 00:10:40,806
Yes and no.
203
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:43,225
Yes, I received it.
No, I will not be attending.
204
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:45,394
- Why not?
- Don't wanna.
205
00:10:45,936 --> 00:10:49,190
Me neither, but Paige
would really like you to go
206
00:10:49,273 --> 00:10:51,984
because for some reason,
she considers you a friend,
207
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:54,487
and she thinks it'll cheer me up
to have you there.
208
00:10:55,404 --> 00:10:56,656
Why do you need cheering up?
209
00:10:57,573 --> 00:11:02,662
Because I failed my Socratic seminar,
which means I'll probably fail college.
210
00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:06,916
How is Paige hosting a dinner party
if she's in Maine?
211
00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:08,250
She'll be on the tablet.
212
00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:09,918
Okay.
213
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,589
And that's just stupid enough
to intrigue me. I'm in.
214
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,049
Okay, good.
215
00:11:15,132 --> 00:11:18,469
Now, for dress code,
Paige was very specific.
216
00:11:18,552 --> 00:11:19,679
No tweed.
217
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:21,639
Casey, no tweed!
218
00:11:26,811 --> 00:11:29,480
Oh, hey.
I'll be out of your hair in a sec.
219
00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:31,399
It's best if I water them at night.
220
00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:32,983
What, they sleep better?
221
00:11:33,859 --> 00:11:36,654
I don't think anyone is sleeping great
in this house
222
00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:38,739
ever since we found out we have a ghost.
223
00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:42,034
Hey, the kids are having
a dinner party tomorrow,
224
00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:45,579
and we are under strict orders
to evacuate.
225
00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:46,664
Oh, well...
226
00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:49,709
- I have to work late anyway, so...
- Okay.
227
00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:50,876
Good night.
228
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:51,836
Night.
229
00:11:51,919 --> 00:11:55,756
Uh... I ran into my mom today.
230
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,801
Hmm. How'd that go?
231
00:12:00,010 --> 00:12:02,680
Well, she derailed my run
to Yankee Candle,
232
00:12:02,763 --> 00:12:04,432
but other than that...
233
00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:06,267
we were polite.
234
00:12:07,017 --> 00:12:08,017
Oh, well...
235
00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:09,853
I'm sorry.
236
00:12:10,771 --> 00:12:11,772
Yeah.
237
00:12:12,314 --> 00:12:14,066
I really wanted a lavender candle.
238
00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:26,912
[sighs] Oh, my gosh, it looks amazing.
I can't believe I did all this.
239
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:30,708
You didn't. I did.
You just bossed me around the whole time.
240
00:12:30,791 --> 00:12:33,919
Usually the b-word would trigger me,
but I'm gonna stay on task.
241
00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:35,003
Mm-hmm.
242
00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:38,758
What are... are you looking
at another screen right now?
243
00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:42,595
Yes, and my professor still
hasn't posted a grade on my paper.
244
00:12:42,928 --> 00:12:45,431
Okay, well, that's the point of tonight,
245
00:12:45,514 --> 00:12:47,683
is just to leave
all that stuff behind us.
246
00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:51,061
We can forget about
all the stressful things in our lives.
247
00:12:51,562 --> 00:12:53,898
I mean, I'm totally fine,
but I'm just here for you.2
248
00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:57,818
Hey, dorks.
Look what I found at the thrift store.
249
00:12:57,902 --> 00:13:00,112
And I brought pie to make up for it.
250
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:02,156
Sam, I said no tweed.
251
00:13:02,239 --> 00:13:04,867
Oh, my bad.
I thought you said only tweed.
252
00:13:05,534 --> 00:13:06,786
We'll make it work.
253
00:13:07,703 --> 00:13:09,455
Now, what time will Evan be arriving?
254
00:13:09,538 --> 00:13:12,041
He's working, so Izzie's filling in.
255
00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:14,752
- I'm her date.
- Oh. Okay.
256
00:13:15,419 --> 00:13:18,672
Tweed suits, new guests...
I mean, what's in the pie? Dog poop?
257
00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:20,257
- [both laugh]
- [doorbell rings]
258
00:13:20,341 --> 00:13:22,259
[gasps] That's the delivery guy!
259
00:13:22,343 --> 00:13:24,178
Ladies, please take the pies
to the kitchen.
260
00:13:24,261 --> 00:13:26,181
Sam, take me to the door
so I can check the bags.
261
00:13:26,764 --> 00:13:27,764
[Casey] Uh-huh.
262
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:32,645
The look on Paige's face
was well worth the $11,
263
00:13:32,728 --> 00:13:35,815
but I gotta say,
this suit itches like a bitch.
264
00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:38,460
And there's a spot on my back
that I can't quite reach.
265
00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:39,735
I can reach it.
266
00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:47,952
So, weird that Evan didn't say anything
about my dad, right?
267
00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:50,579
Yeah, he was probably just embarrassed.
268
00:13:51,288 --> 00:13:53,040
But he should have at least called.
269
00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:54,291
Right?
270
00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:57,753
Whatever. Boys are dumb.
We don't need them.
271
00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,880
Hmm. Yeah, screw boys.
272
00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:02,258
Thanks for being my date
to this insane dinner.
273
00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:04,718
- Yeah.
- What's insane about it?
274
00:14:05,302 --> 00:14:06,428
Nothing.
275
00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:07,972
All cool, robo-host.
276
00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:10,891
- Is this cheering you up?
- No.
277
00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:13,060
- I'm happy.
- [knocking, door opens]
278
00:14:13,143 --> 00:14:14,770
Hello.
279
00:14:16,063 --> 00:14:18,274
- Hey.
- Everyone, this...
280
00:14:18,774 --> 00:14:20,568
is Gretchen.
281
00:14:21,485 --> 00:14:23,070
We met at a dumpster.
282
00:14:23,153 --> 00:14:26,907
She's my soul mate and my sole mate.
283
00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:28,868
Same shoe size. These are hers.
284
00:14:29,451 --> 00:14:30,494
Nice to meet everyone.
285
00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:32,079
Gretch, this is Casey.
286
00:14:32,162 --> 00:14:34,373
If it helps you remember,
I'm the one in tweed.
287
00:14:34,999 --> 00:14:36,876
- I don't know this one.
- I'm Izzie.
288
00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:38,210
She came with the suit.
289
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:40,170
Oh. The robot is Paige.
290
00:14:40,254 --> 00:14:41,589
Hi.
291
00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:44,758
[audio breaking up] ...so... meet... you.
292
00:14:45,342 --> 00:14:46,822
I think your girlfriend is buffering.
293
00:14:47,261 --> 00:14:49,763
Our Wi-Fi doesn't reach the front door.
294
00:14:49,847 --> 00:14:52,057
We don't typically stream guests
in this area.
295
00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:55,144
And the man himself, Samuel Gardner.
296
00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:57,479
I have been hearing
all about Zahid's best friend,
297
00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:58,939
the smartest person he knows,
298
00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:00,900
so I figured
I'd scope out the competition.
299
00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:04,528
Well, I failed my Socratic seminar
so I can't be that smart.
300
00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:08,741
- That's what I thought.
- Za-boom! She got ya! [laughs]
301
00:15:08,824 --> 00:15:10,659
The Wi-Fi's better here.
302
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,828
[sighs]
Okay, well, that's enough chitchat.
303
00:15:13,370 --> 00:15:14,370
Let's eat.
304
00:15:17,374 --> 00:15:19,919
So, since we have a new guest,
305
00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:22,588
we should start with an icebreaker.
It's called Betty Boop...
306
00:15:22,671 --> 00:15:23,714
Nope.
307
00:15:23,797 --> 00:15:25,758
So, Gretchen, where are you from?
308
00:15:25,841 --> 00:15:29,219
Near the Walmart. But my mom's
from Melbourne, so I'm half Australian.
309
00:15:29,303 --> 00:15:31,263
- Hmm.
- Zahid hates Australians.
310
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:34,433
I don't hate this little koala,
311
00:15:34,850 --> 00:15:37,019
especially when she plays my didgeridoo.
312
00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:39,063
Yuck.
313
00:15:39,146 --> 00:15:40,898
Ha. Didgeri-eww.
314
00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:43,859
Oh-ho-ho! Lovely burn.
315
00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:46,445
Gretchen thinks I use
the word "dope" too much,
316
00:15:46,528 --> 00:15:48,656
so now when I'm about to say dope,
317
00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:50,157
I say "lovely" instead.
318
00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:51,659
I just know you can do better.
319
00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:55,204
That's it! My ethics professor
has officially taken longer
320
00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:57,164
grading my paper
than it took me to write it.
321
00:15:57,247 --> 00:15:59,291
Who cares? College is stupid.
322
00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:01,126
It's just a big old waste
of time and money.
323
00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:03,504
What? That's not true.
324
00:16:03,587 --> 00:16:05,839
No one successful ever graduated college.
325
00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:08,926
Plus, you can learn everything
on YouTube these days.
326
00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,887
She has me questioning everything.
327
00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:13,305
Hey!
328
00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:15,224
Oh, God!
329
00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:18,102
Sorry, I was missing out.
330
00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:20,813
[sighs] Can someone pass the guacamole?
331
00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:25,401
[laughs] Joke. It was a joke.
332
00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:26,610
See? I have my own.
333
00:16:28,696 --> 00:16:32,741
Ugh! Now my lovely threads are all soaked.
Sam, can I borrow a shirt?
334
00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:35,202
Sure, but I don't have anything in silk.
335
00:16:35,285 --> 00:16:39,289
That's okay. Gretchen taught me that silk
comes from a worm's butthole.
336
00:16:39,873 --> 00:16:42,001
- So I'm off the stuff.
- YouTube.
337
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:46,880
So, is it time for an icebreaker? [gasps]
We could do this or that.
338
00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:49,883
First one, toilet paper: over or under...
339
00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:51,945
- Is she always like this?
- [Paige continues chattering]
340
00:16:51,969 --> 00:16:54,513
Yeah. Why do you think
I wanted you to come?
341
00:16:54,596 --> 00:16:58,726
- I really wanna know what you guys think.
- Ooh, melty Brie!
342
00:16:58,809 --> 00:17:01,854
Brie and Mexican food, I love it.
Where'd that come from?
343
00:17:01,937 --> 00:17:03,772
I have a cheese guy.
344
00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:06,650
[sighs] I just... I really like cheese.
345
00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:07,568
[Sam] Here it is.
346
00:17:07,651 --> 00:17:13,323
Statistics show that college graduates
are 177 times more likely
347
00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:16,035
than high school grads
to earn $4 million or more.
348
00:17:16,118 --> 00:17:19,496
Is that what life is all about,
earning money?
349
00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:20,580
Kinda.
350
00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:23,042
College just creates drones,
351
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:25,127
cogs in the system, robots.
352
00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:27,046
[imitates robot] Must make money.
353
00:17:27,129 --> 00:17:28,922
[imitates robot] Must eat cheese.
354
00:17:30,132 --> 00:17:31,132
I got it.
355
00:17:32,092 --> 00:17:33,093
I want it.
356
00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:37,514
College also helps with social skills
357
00:17:37,598 --> 00:17:40,100
as well as building the idea
of a community.
358
00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:43,062
Plus, college graduates
are twice as likely to volunteer.
359
00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:46,565
JCPenney never put a college educated
model in their catalog.
360
00:17:46,648 --> 00:17:47,691
Not even once.
361
00:17:48,275 --> 00:17:50,652
Oh, well,
I find that very hard to believe.
362
00:17:51,236 --> 00:17:54,114
Sweet Gretchen, is there a reason
you're antagonizing my brother?
363
00:17:54,823 --> 00:17:55,823
We're just talking.
364
00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:59,620
Casey, I have to pee. Do you?
365
00:17:59,703 --> 00:18:01,663
I am not taking you
to the bathroom with me.
366
00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:04,833
Come on. Okay, this is what girls do.
367
00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:08,170
All right, fine. Don't eat my cheese.
368
00:18:14,676 --> 00:18:16,303
Oh, I don't like her.
369
00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:18,222
Oh, garbage girl?
370
00:18:18,305 --> 00:18:20,432
The worst. Grade A twat.
371
00:18:21,016 --> 00:18:22,142
But Sam handles her well.
372
00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:24,937
We have to do something.
We can't let her ruin this.
373
00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:28,607
I mean, should we... should we harm her?
374
00:18:28,690 --> 00:18:30,984
Yeah, I'll hold her, you punch.
375
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:34,530
- So what do we do?
- I don't know.
376
00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:36,657
Wait it out, make fun of her after.
377
00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:40,160
But she's turning this dinner party
into a garbage party.
378
00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:42,329
We can't let that happen.
379
00:18:42,412 --> 00:18:45,040
Why do you care?
You're not even actually here?
380
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:48,377
I just really,
really need a win right now, okay?
381
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:52,339
- What's up with you?
- Nothing. Sorry, I just...
382
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,383
I just don't like this girl.
383
00:18:55,425 --> 00:18:57,719
The computer, the seat belt
384
00:18:57,803 --> 00:19:02,599
and fluoride toothpaste were all invented
by college educated people.
385
00:19:02,683 --> 00:19:06,728
Sure, but what about all the inventions
by non-college educated people?
386
00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:08,939
Fire, the wheel, loincloth.
387
00:19:09,022 --> 00:19:13,193
My mom didn't go to college, and she
invented the tampon gravity bong.
388
00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:15,487
That was your mom?
389
00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:17,364
- Yeah.
- Hey, guys.
390
00:19:17,447 --> 00:19:18,824
Ooh, melty Brie!
391
00:19:19,449 --> 00:19:22,744
They call it learning,
I call it brainwashing.
392
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:24,037
Fine, Gretchen.
393
00:19:24,454 --> 00:19:26,582
You may think college is a waste of time...
394
00:19:26,665 --> 00:19:27,665
And money.
395
00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:29,126
And money.
396
00:19:29,710 --> 00:19:31,253
But for me,
397
00:19:31,336 --> 00:19:34,047
it's something that I never thought
I'd be able to do.
398
00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:37,843
And now that I'm there,
I don't feel like it's a waste of time.
399
00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:40,637
I feel like I just don't wanna
mess it all up.
400
00:19:42,639 --> 00:19:44,308
Hey, Evan, this is Gretchen.
401
00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:48,061
Hey. What's up, Izzie?
402
00:19:52,065 --> 00:19:53,734
[Evan] This Brie is really good.
403
00:19:53,817 --> 00:19:54,817
Evan.
404
00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:57,863
Casey. Casey!
405
00:19:57,946 --> 00:19:59,198
Is everything okay?
406
00:19:59,781 --> 00:20:02,409
[huffs] I mean, at least had the decency
to show up.
407
00:20:02,492 --> 00:20:03,911
What's that supposed to mean?
408
00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:05,787
Evan, hey.
409
00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:08,332
What's this look about?
410
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:11,335
Oh, I was just saying
that I'm glad he bothered to come
411
00:20:11,418 --> 00:20:12,979
- instead of just standing us up.
- Izzie.
412
00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:14,880
- What?
- You stood up her dad.
413
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:20,010
Wait, you told her that?
414
00:20:20,093 --> 00:20:22,262
Well, yeah,
she's my friend, and I was upset.
415
00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:25,307
And you never told me
what happened with my dad.
416
00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:26,850
[Paige shouts]
417
00:20:27,434 --> 00:20:31,772
- Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
418
00:20:31,855 --> 00:20:33,106
What happened?
419
00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:35,692
[sighs] I saw Zahid's penis.
420
00:20:35,776 --> 00:20:37,069
- What?
- What?
421
00:20:37,152 --> 00:20:38,487
Not on purpose.
422
00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:41,949
I was looking for a new shirt,
and I had the urge to drain the main vein,
423
00:20:42,032 --> 00:20:43,116
so I went to the bathroom.
424
00:20:43,700 --> 00:20:45,911
And Casey left me in there,
425
00:20:45,994 --> 00:20:48,097
and I thought that she would remember
to come back for me,
426
00:20:48,121 --> 00:20:52,292
so I just kept working on my Rainbow Loom
and then I heard a...
427
00:20:53,377 --> 00:20:54,253
tinkling.
428
00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:58,257
If I had known she was in there, I would
not have unleashed the dragon, okay?
429
00:20:58,340 --> 00:21:02,302
But I was midstream.
You can't pinch off the dragon midstream.
430
00:21:02,386 --> 00:21:04,239
- [cell phone chimes]
- [scoffs] This is unbelievable.
431
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:05,764
I'm sorry, Paige.
432
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:09,601
It sucks 'cause now every ding-dong
you see will have the unfortunate fate
433
00:21:09,685 --> 00:21:11,019
of being compared to mine.
434
00:21:11,770 --> 00:21:14,648
A sad junks-taposition, if you will.
435
00:21:14,731 --> 00:21:15,816
- [Zahid laughs]
- [sighs]
436
00:21:15,899 --> 00:21:18,068
Paige, I'm sorry.
I heard Evan coming so I just...
437
00:21:18,151 --> 00:21:19,629
Oh, come on, so this is my fault now?
438
00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:21,571
[scoffs] Yeah, good party.
439
00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:23,573
- Chill out, dude.
- You chill out.
440
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:27,077
I would be upset if I were him, too.
I thought you two were a couple.
441
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:27,995
- What?
- What?
442
00:21:28,078 --> 00:21:29,705
- [Evan] Come on.
- Maybe I should go.
443
00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:30,872
Yeah, you probably should.
444
00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:32,332
No, I should go.
445
00:21:32,416 --> 00:21:34,001
- No, we'll go.
- Stop!
446
00:21:34,710 --> 00:21:35,794
All of you!
447
00:21:35,877 --> 00:21:38,505
Okay, we are here to have fun!
448
00:21:39,214 --> 00:21:41,258
And yes, some of us are arguing,
449
00:21:41,341 --> 00:21:42,759
and some of us got wet,
450
00:21:42,843 --> 00:21:44,553
and some of us saw penises!
451
00:21:45,262 --> 00:21:48,015
Okay? But we are committed
to this dinner party,
452
00:21:48,098 --> 00:21:50,475
so we're all gonna stay,
we're gonna sit down
453
00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:53,228
- and have a delicious...
- [cell phone rings]
454
00:21:54,688 --> 00:21:57,232
Oh, shoot. I've gotta go.
455
00:21:57,858 --> 00:21:58,900
Hi, guys.
456
00:21:59,443 --> 00:22:01,653
Oh, keep having fun, I'm not here.
457
00:22:06,742 --> 00:22:07,743
Where's Sam?
458
00:22:35,771 --> 00:22:37,230
[sniffs]
459
00:22:39,441 --> 00:22:40,942
Thank you so much
460
00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:44,029
and please extend my thanks to
the entire committee for hearing me out.
461
00:22:44,613 --> 00:22:47,240
I appreciate the second chance,
and I won't let you down.
462
00:22:47,741 --> 00:22:49,576
And no popcorn setting next time.
463
00:22:50,702 --> 00:22:52,913
No, God, no, that was a joke.
464
00:22:54,289 --> 00:22:55,289
Okay.
465
00:22:56,166 --> 00:22:57,166
Bye.
466
00:22:59,169 --> 00:23:00,212
[sighs]
467
00:23:05,926 --> 00:23:07,803
[inhales] What smells good?
468
00:23:08,470 --> 00:23:09,554
Honey, everything okay?
469
00:23:11,264 --> 00:23:12,974
Oh, lavender.
470
00:23:14,101 --> 00:23:15,102
No.
471
00:23:16,311 --> 00:23:18,855
I got a C on my paper, a C.
472
00:23:19,439 --> 00:23:20,774
C is not terrible.
473
00:23:21,149 --> 00:23:23,485
Hey, there you are.
Everyone's looking for you.
474
00:23:24,444 --> 00:23:27,739
Should you be having a candle burning
by your bed with your track record?
475
00:23:30,117 --> 00:23:31,159
Are you okay?
476
00:23:31,243 --> 00:23:32,494
None of your business.
477
00:23:32,828 --> 00:23:34,371
Ooh, lavender?
478
00:23:35,038 --> 00:23:36,456
Hey, dude, you okay?
479
00:23:36,998 --> 00:23:39,292
No. I got a C on my ethics paper.
480
00:23:39,376 --> 00:23:40,752
It's his business, but not mine?
481
00:23:40,836 --> 00:23:42,295
I'm sorry, man.
482
00:23:42,921 --> 00:23:46,133
At least you tried.
Some people don't even do that.
483
00:23:46,967 --> 00:23:50,429
There's a cuddle party happening,
and no one invited me?
484
00:23:52,347 --> 00:23:54,641
Hey, Mrs. G. Good vibes in here.
485
00:23:54,724 --> 00:23:56,101
- Is that lavender?
- Hey.
486
00:23:56,184 --> 00:23:59,396
Sorry I can't stay too long.
Gretchen's waiting for me in the car.
487
00:24:00,230 --> 00:24:01,523
You okay, bud?
488
00:24:01,606 --> 00:24:02,524
Yeah.
489
00:24:02,607 --> 00:24:04,985
Good. Sorry that Paige saw my dong.
490
00:24:05,068 --> 00:24:06,068
What's that now?
491
00:24:06,570 --> 00:24:08,447
But hey,
at least you and Gretchen hit it off.
492
00:24:08,530 --> 00:24:12,367
You even had one of your little
Socratic conversation thingies.
493
00:24:12,451 --> 00:24:14,578
Seminars, and no, we didn't.
494
00:24:14,661 --> 00:24:15,662
Sure you did.
495
00:24:15,745 --> 00:24:19,458
You talked about college, doing research,
conversed with one another.
496
00:24:20,041 --> 00:24:21,041
He's kind of right.
497
00:24:21,668 --> 00:24:23,712
- I was pretty good at it, too.
- [Zahid] Mm-hmm.
498
00:24:23,795 --> 00:24:26,798
You know, I bet Gretchen
was Miyagi'ing you the whole time,
499
00:24:26,882 --> 00:24:28,967
secretly leading you down the right path.
500
00:24:29,676 --> 00:24:31,386
God, she's an amazing woman.
501
00:24:32,053 --> 00:24:33,180
What's Miyagi'ing?
502
00:24:33,972 --> 00:24:35,849
Mr. Miyagi from Karate Kid.
503
00:24:35,932 --> 00:24:36,766
Oh, right.
504
00:24:36,850 --> 00:24:37,850
Duh.
505
00:24:38,310 --> 00:24:39,352
Evan was a karate kid.
506
00:24:39,436 --> 00:24:41,188
Oh, my God, you have to see the video.
507
00:24:41,271 --> 00:24:43,231
No, hey, that was an us thing.
508
00:24:43,315 --> 00:24:45,484
♪ Coming down
Coming down from yesterday ♪
509
00:24:47,986 --> 00:24:51,281
♪ Swimming in the smoke
Is a debt that I gotta pay ♪
510
00:24:51,823 --> 00:24:52,823
So what happened?
511
00:24:52,866 --> 00:24:54,618
- I don't wanna talk about it.
- Come on.
512
00:24:55,202 --> 00:24:56,786
- We have to talk about it?
- Yeah.
513
00:24:57,329 --> 00:24:58,580
Why didn't you show up?
514
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:02,751
When your dad mentioned the EMT stuff,
it just...
515
00:25:02,834 --> 00:25:04,878
it seemed like something that I could do.
516
00:25:04,961 --> 00:25:06,505
So what changed?
517
00:25:06,588 --> 00:25:08,590
Well, then he said
there was gonna be tests.
518
00:25:08,673 --> 00:25:11,885
- So?
- I suck at tests. I hate tests.
519
00:25:12,677 --> 00:25:13,512
Look, it...
520
00:25:13,595 --> 00:25:18,016
It's not like a big thing, and I don't
really need to get into it, but...
521
00:25:19,559 --> 00:25:21,353
I'm dyslexic.
522
00:25:23,021 --> 00:25:24,021
What?
523
00:25:25,190 --> 00:25:26,390
How have you not told me that?
524
00:25:26,441 --> 00:25:29,277
I tell you everything. I showed you
that weird thing I found in my ear.
525
00:25:29,778 --> 00:25:31,738
- Oh, yeah, that was gross.
- Yeah.
526
00:25:32,322 --> 00:25:33,907
It's just I get anxious.
527
00:25:33,990 --> 00:25:37,369
So what if I take all these classes
and then I don't pass any of these tests?
528
00:25:37,452 --> 00:25:40,872
Then it's just a big waste of time
and money, and I've just, you know,
529
00:25:40,956 --> 00:25:42,123
let everyone down.
530
00:25:43,625 --> 00:25:47,212
Well, I really think you can do it.
531
00:25:47,712 --> 00:25:48,964
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
532
00:25:52,425 --> 00:25:54,886
- Even Yonchi thinks you can do it.
- Well...
533
00:25:55,262 --> 00:25:56,513
[both laugh]
534
00:25:58,890 --> 00:26:00,141
Hey, don't tell Izzie.
535
00:26:01,017 --> 00:26:02,017
I won't.
536
00:26:03,019 --> 00:26:04,019
Thanks.
537
00:26:08,441 --> 00:26:10,360
[high-pitched voice] I might tell her.
538
00:26:10,819 --> 00:26:13,196
And then I'll kill your whole family.
539
00:26:13,613 --> 00:26:14,613
[mocking laugh]
540
00:26:16,825 --> 00:26:18,159
[normal voice] Oh, my God.
541
00:26:18,243 --> 00:26:19,327
[professor] Hmm.
542
00:26:19,411 --> 00:26:23,081
GMOs use less pesticides, which provides
cleaner water conditions,
543
00:26:23,164 --> 00:26:26,293
but they're also stealing our souls,
so I'm torn.
544
00:26:26,376 --> 00:26:29,004
Tbh, GMO tomatoes taste like ketchup,
545
00:26:29,087 --> 00:26:30,338
and I love ketchup.
546
00:26:30,422 --> 00:26:33,133
I eat it on everything, everything.
547
00:26:34,384 --> 00:26:35,677
I disagree!
548
00:26:37,220 --> 00:26:39,097
Not about ketchup, but...
549
00:26:39,681 --> 00:26:43,393
the rise of GMOs has led
to concentrations of toxic metals
550
00:26:43,476 --> 00:26:47,188
that have serious consequences
on wildlife, so it's not worth it.
551
00:26:52,235 --> 00:26:53,445
Time.
552
00:26:53,528 --> 00:26:54,528
[exhales]
553
00:26:57,574 --> 00:26:59,576
I got a C on the seminar.
554
00:26:59,659 --> 00:27:00,702
Is that good?
555
00:27:00,785 --> 00:27:01,870
It's great.
556
00:27:01,953 --> 00:27:05,040
Last week I got an F.
A C is a big improvement.
557
00:27:05,123 --> 00:27:06,708
Well, that's good for you, Sam.
558
00:27:07,250 --> 00:27:08,293
Honey.
559
00:27:09,794 --> 00:27:10,794
Hi, Sam.
560
00:27:13,923 --> 00:27:15,216
I dropped out of Bowdoin.
561
00:27:15,634 --> 00:27:16,968
Congrats on your C.
562
00:27:21,431 --> 00:27:22,265
Thank you.
563
00:27:22,349 --> 00:27:26,770
♪...Over a million signs to blink
And let it go ♪
564
00:27:29,230 --> 00:27:32,150
♪ Lately, she's stopped traveling ♪
565
00:27:33,693 --> 00:27:37,447
♪ Her heartbeat moved too fast to know ♪
566
00:27:37,781 --> 00:27:40,325
♪ Choked up with miles to go ♪
567
00:27:43,745 --> 00:27:48,333
♪ Over a million signs to blink
And let it go ♪
568
00:27:48,416 --> 00:27:51,211
[vocalizing]