1
00:00:02,507 --> 00:00:05,635
I'm a weirdo.
That's what everyone says.
2
00:00:05,719 --> 00:00:08,179
Sometimes, I don't know what people mean
when they say things,
3
00:00:08,346 --> 00:00:12,267
and that can make me feel alone even
when there are other people in the room.
4
00:00:12,350 --> 00:00:14,936
And all I can do is sit and twiddle,
5
00:00:15,020 --> 00:00:17,689
which is what I call
my selfstimulatory behavior,
6
00:00:17,772 --> 00:00:22,360
when I flick a pencil against
a rubber band at a certain frequency
7
00:00:22,444 --> 00:00:24,529
and think about all the things that
I could never do,
8
00:00:24,612 --> 00:00:29,075
like research penguins in Antarctica
or have a girlfriend.
9
00:00:29,159 --> 00:00:31,995
I don't know.
I'd like to go to Antarctica.
10
00:00:32,746 --> 00:00:33,872
It's quiet there...
11
00:00:34,831 --> 00:00:37,208
except in the rookeries,
where the penguins breed.
12
00:00:37,292 --> 00:00:39,294
Those aren't quiet. No, sir.
13
00:00:40,628 --> 00:00:42,088
I'm finished with my answer.
14
00:00:43,131 --> 00:00:44,215
Great.
15
00:00:44,299 --> 00:00:46,718
Almost done for today.
Good session, Sam.
16
00:00:46,801 --> 00:00:48,970
I can see your bra. It's purple.
17
00:00:52,223 --> 00:00:56,061
Um, there was one more thing
I wanted to discuss.
18
00:00:56,144 --> 00:00:58,813
And I don't need your answer now,
19
00:00:58,897 --> 00:01:01,232
but I'm asking all my clients
if they'd be willing
20
00:01:01,316 --> 00:01:02,984
to donate their brains for research.
21
00:01:04,694 --> 00:01:05,945
Donate my brain?
22
00:01:06,696 --> 00:01:08,865
After you die.
Oh.
23
00:01:08,948 --> 00:01:12,160
Yeah. There's such a shortage
of brain matter available,
24
00:01:12,243 --> 00:01:14,829
and, you know, there's no
substitute for the real thing.
25
00:01:16,081 --> 00:01:18,249
Just think about it.
26
00:01:19,292 --> 00:01:21,586
Okay.
And, hey, Sam,
27
00:01:22,253 --> 00:01:24,923
what you said earlier
about having a girlfriend?
28
00:01:25,507 --> 00:01:27,383
People in the spectrum date, you know?
29
00:01:27,467 --> 00:01:31,137
You can try to find someone,
if you wanted to.
30
00:01:31,679 --> 00:01:34,182
How?
You just have to put yourself out there.
31
00:01:35,141 --> 00:01:36,184
Out where?
32
00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:40,021
Buses are okay,
33
00:01:40,104 --> 00:01:43,024
but I don't like the feeling
of the seat on my back,
34
00:01:43,108 --> 00:01:44,859
so I sit like this.
35
00:01:44,943 --> 00:01:46,653
I don't know how people stand it.
36
00:01:46,736 --> 00:01:50,281
Maybe they've developed thicker back
skin from riding the bus so much.
37
00:01:50,365 --> 00:01:53,660
There's a type of Antarctic cod
that has a special protein
38
00:01:53,743 --> 00:01:56,037
in its blood that
stops it from freezing.
39
00:01:56,121 --> 00:01:58,206
Antifreeze in fish.
40
00:02:03,169 --> 00:02:05,547
I was just thinking about Antarctic cod.
41
00:02:08,758 --> 00:02:11,970
Antarctica is the most remote continent
on the planet.
42
00:02:14,430 --> 00:02:16,391
It has 90% of the world's ice,
43
00:02:16,474 --> 00:02:19,185
but it's considered a desert
because the annual rainfall
44
00:02:19,269 --> 00:02:20,687
is only about eight inches.
45
00:02:21,396 --> 00:02:24,232
You wouldn't think it was
a desert when you looked at it.
46
00:02:25,567 --> 00:02:26,943
That's why I like it.
47
00:02:28,319 --> 00:02:29,863
It's not what it looks like.
48
00:02:30,488 --> 00:02:33,158
Sam! Dinner!
49
00:02:33,241 --> 00:02:36,578
So, I ordered those Tshirts
that Sam likes, in bulk...
50
00:02:36,661 --> 00:02:38,454
you know, 100% cotton...
51
00:02:38,538 --> 00:02:43,001
and they switched them to something
that they called "triblend."
52
00:02:43,084 --> 00:02:47,422
So I called the company,
and I spoke to this woman named Rizwana.
53
00:02:47,505 --> 00:02:49,424
I think I was speaking with India.
54
00:02:49,507 --> 00:02:50,592
Mmhmm.
55
00:02:50,675 --> 00:02:52,260
But, anyway, um...
56
00:02:52,343 --> 00:02:56,055
And she found a box of the old ones,
57
00:02:56,139 --> 00:02:57,724
and they sent them free of charge.
58
00:02:57,807 --> 00:03:00,101
They're exactly the right kind.
Mm.
59
00:03:00,184 --> 00:03:02,061
Wow. That is a great story, Mom.
60
00:03:02,145 --> 00:03:03,438
Oh, don't be a dick, honey.
61
00:03:03,521 --> 00:03:06,149
So, Sam,
how was your session with Julia today?
62
00:03:06,232 --> 00:03:07,775
She wants me to donate my brain,
63
00:03:07,859 --> 00:03:09,444
but don't worry, it's after I die.
64
00:03:09,527 --> 00:03:12,447
What, like, for research?
That could be kind of cool.
65
00:03:12,530 --> 00:03:13,531
Absolutely not.
66
00:03:14,198 --> 00:03:15,825
And the queen has spoken.
67
00:03:15,909 --> 00:03:18,077
Well, it's gross, Casey.
68
00:03:18,161 --> 00:03:21,039
You tell Julia, "Thank you, but no."
69
00:03:21,122 --> 00:03:23,333
Okay.
You're so easy to boss around.
70
00:03:23,416 --> 00:03:25,585
I don't care what happens
to my dead brain.
71
00:03:25,668 --> 00:03:28,171
It's either I give it to Julia,
or maggots eat it.
72
00:03:28,254 --> 00:03:30,089
If Mom wants maggots to eat it, fine.
73
00:03:30,173 --> 00:03:32,467
No, no, no. That's not what I'm saying.
74
00:03:32,550 --> 00:03:33,551
Kind of is.
75
00:03:33,635 --> 00:03:35,220
I don't care. I'll be dead.
76
00:03:35,303 --> 00:03:38,431
Can we stop talking about you being
dead? You're not going anywhere.
77
00:03:38,514 --> 00:03:40,141
Wow, this chicken's really good, honey.
78
00:03:40,266 --> 00:03:41,851
Thanks. It's a dry rub.
79
00:03:41,935 --> 00:03:43,144
It's a good dry rub.
80
00:03:43,811 --> 00:03:46,272
Julia thinks that I should
put myself out there
81
00:03:46,356 --> 00:03:48,316
and find someone to have sex with.
82
00:03:49,859 --> 00:03:51,778
She didn't say the sex part.
I added that.
83
00:04:28,773 --> 00:04:31,359
My school is crowded, noisy,
84
00:04:31,442 --> 00:04:32,986
and it smells weird,
85
00:04:33,069 --> 00:04:35,405
but it has one thing going for it:
86
00:04:35,488 --> 00:04:37,490
it has lots of girls.
87
00:04:37,573 --> 00:04:42,287
Well, I think every girl is pretty
in her own way,
88
00:04:42,370 --> 00:04:45,164
like a snowflake
in a seasonal Antarctic storm.
89
00:05:01,014 --> 00:05:02,807
But girls don't notice me at all.
90
00:05:08,730 --> 00:05:09,689
Thank you.
91
00:05:12,775 --> 00:05:14,944
Banged a veterinarian
I met online last night.
92
00:05:15,028 --> 00:05:17,613
She had a pet parrot that
repeated everything she said.
93
00:05:17,697 --> 00:05:20,908
"Do me, Brown Sugar!
Do me, Brown Sugar!"
94
00:05:21,409 --> 00:05:23,244
Oh, shit. I think she's racist.
95
00:05:24,454 --> 00:05:25,455
What kind of parrot?
96
00:05:25,538 --> 00:05:28,124
Oh, I don't know. The red rainbow one?
97
00:05:28,207 --> 00:05:30,543
That's a scarlet macaw.
Oh.
98
00:05:36,507 --> 00:05:37,550
Zahid...
99
00:05:38,676 --> 00:05:39,886
do you like dating girls?
100
00:05:41,304 --> 00:05:43,264
Yeah, dude. I like dating girls.
101
00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:50,605
What are you doing?
102
00:05:50,688 --> 00:05:53,191
Going online to try
and find a girl to date.
103
00:05:53,274 --> 00:05:54,734
That's hilarious. I'll help.
104
00:05:56,694 --> 00:05:57,987
Okay, finish this sentence:
105
00:05:58,071 --> 00:06:00,323
"I spend a lot of time
thinking about..."
106
00:06:00,406 --> 00:06:01,657
Easy. Penguins.
107
00:06:01,741 --> 00:06:04,535
And, especially,
I'll say chinstrap penguins.
108
00:06:04,619 --> 00:06:06,579
They're my favorite bird,
109
00:06:06,662 --> 00:06:09,123
but all four types
of Antarctic penguins are good.
110
00:06:09,207 --> 00:06:13,252
Did you know early explorers thought they
were fish and classified them that way?
111
00:06:13,336 --> 00:06:15,088
Not birds, fish.
112
00:06:17,590 --> 00:06:18,841
I'm gonna put "sports."
113
00:06:18,925 --> 00:06:20,134
Hey, kids.
114
00:06:20,218 --> 00:06:21,469
What you doing?
115
00:06:21,552 --> 00:06:23,679
Casey's helping me sign up
for online dating,
116
00:06:23,763 --> 00:06:25,681
but hates all my answers,
so she's lying.
117
00:06:27,642 --> 00:06:29,477
Wow.
Mmhmm.
118
00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:31,145
You're a little young for that.
119
00:06:31,229 --> 00:06:33,940
You know, I saw an episode on 20/20.
120
00:06:34,023 --> 00:06:37,276
There's actually something
called "catfishing,"
121
00:06:37,527 --> 00:06:40,571
and it has nothing to do with fishing.
Bye, Mom.
122
00:06:43,491 --> 00:06:45,660
Should we take another picture
with Edison?
123
00:06:45,743 --> 00:06:48,621
I read online that girls love animals.
124
00:06:48,704 --> 00:06:49,831
Maybe like this?
125
00:06:50,790 --> 00:06:53,459
I think this might go quicker
if you just leave.
126
00:06:55,294 --> 00:06:56,838
Damn it.
127
00:06:58,381 --> 00:07:00,174
Careful. What are you doing?
128
00:07:00,258 --> 00:07:01,717
Honey, can you get that for me?
129
00:07:03,678 --> 00:07:05,763
Which one?
Three to five.
130
00:07:06,764 --> 00:07:08,975
This room, it's, like, so disorganized.
131
00:07:09,934 --> 00:07:11,477
Such a mess.
You okay?
132
00:07:11,561 --> 00:07:13,312
Yes, fine. Totally fine.
133
00:07:14,313 --> 00:07:15,231
Yeah.
134
00:07:16,149 --> 00:07:18,818
Sam's gonna start dating,
so that's something.
135
00:07:18,901 --> 00:07:20,194
Do you remember these?
136
00:07:20,278 --> 00:07:21,988
Sam's emotion cards?
Yeah.
137
00:07:22,071 --> 00:07:24,323
"Someone's making this face,
they might be sad,
138
00:07:24,407 --> 00:07:26,033
so you should try to be kind to them."
139
00:07:26,117 --> 00:07:28,911
A woman in the support group,
her son was just diagnosed,
140
00:07:28,995 --> 00:07:29,912
so I said I'd throw
141
00:07:29,996 --> 00:07:31,706
some things together.
142
00:07:31,789 --> 00:07:34,959
This was the exact face he made
when I surprised him with Mets tickets.
143
00:07:35,042 --> 00:07:36,919
Remember that?
Yeah, I do.
144
00:07:37,003 --> 00:07:40,173
I wanted us to just have one thing
in common.
145
00:07:40,256 --> 00:07:41,466
Just one thing.
146
00:07:42,550 --> 00:07:45,470
Me and my dad used to go
to the ball games all the time.
147
00:07:47,180 --> 00:07:49,474
I think it's all right that
Sam's gonna try to date.
148
00:07:49,557 --> 00:07:52,018
I mean, you and I weren't
much older when we met,
149
00:07:52,101 --> 00:07:53,978
and that was fun, right?
We had a good time.
150
00:07:54,061 --> 00:07:57,023
Sam's not like us.
I know, but he has to start...
151
00:07:57,106 --> 00:07:59,108
Do you know that every time
the phone rings, I jump?
152
00:07:59,692 --> 00:08:01,152
Every time.
153
00:08:01,944 --> 00:08:04,655
I think he's crossed the street again
with his eyes closed...
154
00:08:05,531 --> 00:08:07,533
or he had a freakout in a store
155
00:08:07,617 --> 00:08:10,870
or he's hit a police officer.
156
00:08:10,953 --> 00:08:13,247
Every time the phone rings.
I know. I know.
157
00:08:13,331 --> 00:08:16,083
But maybe now it's time for us
to take a step back.
158
00:08:16,709 --> 00:08:18,628
Spend time together, just the two of us,
159
00:08:18,711 --> 00:08:21,547
you know, get back to where
we were before all of this.
160
00:08:22,173 --> 00:08:23,049
Maybe we go on a date.
161
00:08:24,008 --> 00:08:24,842
Hmm?
162
00:08:24,926 --> 00:08:26,719
Or we... we fool around.
163
00:08:28,429 --> 00:08:29,764
Huh?
Yeah, right.
164
00:08:29,847 --> 00:08:30,890
No?
165
00:08:33,476 --> 00:08:34,602
Oh.
166
00:08:35,478 --> 00:08:36,479
You're serious.
167
00:08:37,355 --> 00:08:38,689
I'm not serious.
168
00:08:38,773 --> 00:08:40,441
I'm sorry.
I'm just playing.
169
00:08:49,700 --> 00:08:52,745
Common traits
of autism spectrum disorder include
170
00:08:52,828 --> 00:08:55,248
repetitive behaviors,
difficulty socializing
171
00:08:55,331 --> 00:08:58,209
and persistent, intense preoccupations.
172
00:08:58,292 --> 00:09:01,963
I have a patient who came up
with 95 ways to cook an egg.
173
00:09:05,424 --> 00:09:06,676
Come on in.
174
00:09:08,636 --> 00:09:10,346
Please, sit.
175
00:09:11,889 --> 00:09:12,974
Yeah, thanks.
Oh.
176
00:09:14,809 --> 00:09:16,894
Is everything okay with Sam?
177
00:09:16,978 --> 00:09:19,397
Oh, yes. It's fine.
178
00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:20,773
I just, um...
179
00:09:24,193 --> 00:09:26,529
Sam said you spoke to him about dating.
180
00:09:27,530 --> 00:09:29,824
He mentioned wanting a girlfriend,
so I thought...
181
00:09:29,907 --> 00:09:31,701
I appreciate you're trying to help,
182
00:09:31,784 --> 00:09:35,621
but all the things that make
my son's everyday life difficult...
183
00:09:35,705 --> 00:09:39,208
like reading social cues,
exchanging small talk...
184
00:09:39,292 --> 00:09:41,961
all the things I've helped him
navigate his entire life,
185
00:09:42,044 --> 00:09:43,421
are magnified in dating.
186
00:09:44,422 --> 00:09:45,256
Um...
187
00:09:45,965 --> 00:09:50,011
Dating is almost entirely
nonverbal communication,
188
00:09:50,094 --> 00:09:52,179
and Sam's the most literal
person I know.
189
00:09:52,847 --> 00:09:55,516
Yeah, and there are strategies
that I could teach him.
190
00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:56,601
Are there?
191
00:09:58,102 --> 00:10:00,771
Are there strategies
for when you get your heart broken?
192
00:10:02,773 --> 00:10:04,567
Sam is doing really well.
193
00:10:05,151 --> 00:10:07,153
I mean,
we're 32 days into his senior year,
194
00:10:07,236 --> 00:10:09,488
and he hasn't had a meltdown yet, so...
195
00:10:10,489 --> 00:10:11,741
I don't want to push him.
196
00:10:11,824 --> 00:10:15,119
I mean, relationships are hard enough
for neurotypicals.
197
00:10:15,202 --> 00:10:17,622
I don't want to put that kind
of pressure on my son.
198
00:10:18,289 --> 00:10:21,667
There was a study done
in Toronto a few years ago.
199
00:10:22,376 --> 00:10:25,630
Researchers found that only nine percent
200
00:10:25,713 --> 00:10:27,548
of adults with autism are married,
201
00:10:27,632 --> 00:10:29,508
not because they lack the desire,
202
00:10:29,592 --> 00:10:31,677
but because they don't
know how to do it.
203
00:10:31,761 --> 00:10:35,014
Your son has the same desire
to be loved that we all do.
204
00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:36,891
Why shouldn't he pursue it?
205
00:10:38,392 --> 00:10:40,019
He's not ready yet.
206
00:10:40,686 --> 00:10:43,022
You know,
a lot of parents have a hard time
207
00:10:43,105 --> 00:10:44,899
as their kids become more independent.
208
00:10:44,982 --> 00:10:47,693
It's completely natural.
209
00:10:47,777 --> 00:10:49,945
So if you ever need someone to talk to,
210
00:10:50,029 --> 00:10:52,156
I can refer you to one of my colleagues.
211
00:10:52,239 --> 00:10:53,783
Oh, wow. No, um...
212
00:10:56,452 --> 00:10:57,870
That won't be necessary.
213
00:10:59,580 --> 00:11:00,706
Thank you for your time.
214
00:11:03,250 --> 00:11:05,461
That's okay. I got it. Thanks so much.
215
00:11:05,544 --> 00:11:06,796
Have a great day.
Okay.
216
00:11:13,094 --> 00:11:15,096
When I'm learning something new,
217
00:11:15,179 --> 00:11:19,058
like how to get infinity lives
in a video game or date girls,
218
00:11:19,141 --> 00:11:20,559
I do a lot of research.
219
00:11:20,643 --> 00:11:21,560
I like research.
220
00:11:21,644 --> 00:11:23,020
Insult them.
221
00:11:23,104 --> 00:11:26,565
Something like, "Baby,
those some serious bug eyes you got."
222
00:11:27,566 --> 00:11:29,360
Trust me, brother...
Bug eyes?
223
00:11:29,443 --> 00:11:31,404
quickest way to get a chick
on your dick.
224
00:11:32,863 --> 00:11:35,241
I examine as many sources
as possible.
225
00:11:35,324 --> 00:11:37,243
Yo, yo, mamacita.
226
00:11:37,952 --> 00:11:39,537
Is that a phone in your back pocket?
227
00:11:40,329 --> 00:11:41,872
'Cause that ass is calling to me.
228
00:11:43,833 --> 00:11:45,376
And I ask questions.
229
00:11:45,459 --> 00:11:47,420
Just listen to what they say.
230
00:11:47,503 --> 00:11:49,839
Don't bring up seals
or penguins or whatever.
231
00:11:49,922 --> 00:11:51,674
And don't stare at their boobs.
232
00:11:51,757 --> 00:11:52,883
Wait, slow down.
233
00:11:52,967 --> 00:11:56,178
I'm still on the no penguins part.
What if she likes penguins?
234
00:11:56,846 --> 00:11:58,055
Just assume she doesn't.
235
00:11:59,890 --> 00:12:02,518
The trick is knowing when
to put my research to use.
236
00:12:02,601 --> 00:12:04,186
I'm not great at picking up signals.
237
00:12:06,063 --> 00:12:08,482
Yo, Sammy.
Red over there is making eyes.
238
00:12:09,066 --> 00:12:10,818
What?
That chick.
239
00:12:10,901 --> 00:12:12,737
Bubble Butt by the monitors.
240
00:12:14,530 --> 00:12:15,698
What about her?
241
00:12:15,781 --> 00:12:17,575
Dude, she's smiling right at you.
242
00:12:19,285 --> 00:12:20,119
Oh.
243
00:12:20,745 --> 00:12:21,579
So?
244
00:12:22,163 --> 00:12:24,248
Smile back.
Really?
245
00:12:33,382 --> 00:12:34,717
Wow.
246
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:36,677
You scared her away
from across the store.
247
00:12:37,470 --> 00:12:38,804
Impressive range, dude.
248
00:12:57,114 --> 00:12:58,073
Oh, no.
249
00:12:58,157 --> 00:13:01,285
I'm sure whoever did this
just feels terrible.
250
00:13:03,996 --> 00:13:04,830
Bailey.
251
00:13:14,798 --> 00:13:17,218
I don't get it.
You're not even friends with Beth.
252
00:13:17,301 --> 00:13:19,303
So? You don't have to be friends
to do what's right.
253
00:13:19,595 --> 00:13:22,765
Sweetie,
hitting someone's face is never right.
254
00:13:22,848 --> 00:13:25,935
Of course you don't get it. You were
the one picking on the fat kids.
255
00:13:26,018 --> 00:13:27,353
I had a pudgy friend.
256
00:13:27,436 --> 00:13:31,398
Besides, Bailey Bennet is a lovely girl,
and she did not deserve to get punched.
257
00:13:31,482 --> 00:13:32,733
Bailey Bennet is a twat.
258
00:13:32,816 --> 00:13:34,235
Casey Gardener, language.
259
00:13:34,318 --> 00:13:36,612
Sometimes a word or phrase
gets stuck in my head,
260
00:13:36,695 --> 00:13:40,282
like on on a loop,
and it just plays over and over
261
00:13:40,366 --> 00:13:41,575
and over and over.
262
00:13:41,659 --> 00:13:43,619
Twat. Twat.
263
00:13:43,911 --> 00:13:46,622
Twat, twat, twat,
twat, twat, twat, twat...
264
00:13:46,705 --> 00:13:49,542
You got suspended?
You didn't waste any time.
265
00:13:49,625 --> 00:13:52,253
You're gonna miss practice.
They said I could practice.
266
00:13:52,336 --> 00:13:53,629
Twat, twat.
That's good.
267
00:13:53,712 --> 00:13:57,466
At least she's not gonna miss practice.
She punched a pretty girl in the face!
268
00:13:57,550 --> 00:13:59,260
Why does it matter she's pretty?
269
00:13:59,343 --> 00:14:01,428
Twat. Twat.
270
00:14:01,512 --> 00:14:02,805
Twat.
271
00:14:02,888 --> 00:14:05,975
Twat, twat, twat,
twat, twat, twat, twat.
272
00:14:06,058 --> 00:14:07,393
You're grounded.
273
00:14:07,476 --> 00:14:09,812
All right. That seems fair.
I'm gonna go for a run.
274
00:14:09,895 --> 00:14:11,605
Can I run when I'm grounded, warden?
275
00:14:12,273 --> 00:14:13,899
I'm done. You deal with her.
276
00:14:14,859 --> 00:14:15,776
Go ahead.
277
00:14:17,027 --> 00:14:19,446
Awesome.
Great. Now I'm the bad guy again.
278
00:14:19,530 --> 00:14:22,408
Casey and I are cool. You're always
gonna be the bad guy with her.
279
00:14:27,454 --> 00:14:29,540
Leopards laze each
280
00:14:30,291 --> 00:14:32,293
On plush pillows
281
00:14:32,376 --> 00:14:36,297
Paperback dreams
In their deep doze
282
00:14:51,103 --> 00:14:53,689
Hey, Casey!
I brought you a chocolate cake.
283
00:14:53,772 --> 00:14:55,441
I make amazing cakes.
284
00:14:55,524 --> 00:14:57,318
I won three bakeoffs at my church.
285
00:14:58,193 --> 00:15:00,696
This is my brother Evan.
He drove me here.
286
00:15:00,779 --> 00:15:02,406
Hey.
Hey.
287
00:15:02,489 --> 00:15:05,242
Okay. Thanks for the cake.
288
00:15:05,326 --> 00:15:07,161
Thank you for today.
289
00:15:08,329 --> 00:15:09,163
Twat!
Sam!
290
00:15:09,246 --> 00:15:10,831
Jesus!
Um, hello.
291
00:15:10,915 --> 00:15:12,207
What is wrong with him?
292
00:15:12,291 --> 00:15:14,376
Nothing's wrong with him.
Get away from him.
293
00:15:16,253 --> 00:15:18,547
It's cool. I got it.
294
00:15:19,465 --> 00:15:20,549
All right, bye.
295
00:15:22,509 --> 00:15:24,720
You forgot your chocolate cake!
296
00:15:24,803 --> 00:15:26,388
I'll just leave it on the porch.
297
00:15:27,348 --> 00:15:28,641
You're such an asshole.
298
00:15:30,184 --> 00:15:32,061
My sister doesn't let
anyone beat me up...
299
00:15:36,982 --> 00:15:38,609
Got to do it four times, right?
300
00:15:38,692 --> 00:15:39,693
Ow!
301
00:15:39,818 --> 00:15:41,487
except herself.
302
00:15:44,573 --> 00:15:46,116
So, how's your week?
303
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:47,701
Well, I still don't have a date.
304
00:15:47,785 --> 00:15:49,662
I scared a girl off
from across the room,
305
00:15:49,745 --> 00:15:51,830
and we had meat loaf twice,
and I hate meat loaf.
306
00:15:51,914 --> 00:15:52,790
How?
307
00:15:52,873 --> 00:15:54,541
My mom just made it in the oven.
308
00:15:54,625 --> 00:15:57,086
I mean,
how did you scare her away?
309
00:15:57,169 --> 00:16:00,422
I don't know. I've been wondering
and wondering and wondering.
310
00:16:00,506 --> 00:16:03,050
Okay. Pretend I'm her. What'd you do?
311
00:16:03,926 --> 00:16:06,387
I just smiled at her like this.
312
00:16:07,638 --> 00:16:08,555
Ah.
313
00:16:09,223 --> 00:16:10,599
I read about it online.
314
00:16:12,518 --> 00:16:15,688
"Making eye contact and smiling
are step one for flirting."
315
00:16:15,771 --> 00:16:16,939
That's what I did. Look.
316
00:16:19,817 --> 00:16:21,735
"Insults equal chick on dick."
317
00:16:21,819 --> 00:16:23,696
Not that part. The eye contact part.
318
00:16:23,779 --> 00:16:26,782
Right,
but we should get to that at some point.
319
00:16:27,950 --> 00:16:29,535
Anyways, the problem is
320
00:16:29,618 --> 00:16:33,497
you're crossing the line
from flirty to creepy.
321
00:16:33,580 --> 00:16:36,125
When you make eye contact,
you have to look away a bit.
322
00:16:36,208 --> 00:16:40,004
But how can I make eye contact
and look away?
323
00:16:40,087 --> 00:16:42,297
I mean, I'm not a mantis shrimp.
324
00:16:42,381 --> 00:16:43,590
All right.
325
00:16:43,674 --> 00:16:46,969
Okay, you make eye contact...
326
00:16:47,803 --> 00:16:48,929
glance away...
327
00:16:49,596 --> 00:16:51,223
make eye contact again.
328
00:16:52,391 --> 00:16:53,809
Otherwise, it can seem scary.
329
00:16:53,892 --> 00:16:56,687
Hold on. Let me write this down.
Okay.
330
00:16:58,105 --> 00:16:59,773
Now, the smile.
331
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:04,194
You need to turn that down, like, 70%.
332
00:17:04,278 --> 00:17:06,947
70% smaller?
At least.
333
00:17:10,075 --> 00:17:11,326
Try no teeth?
334
00:17:13,495 --> 00:17:15,998
Yeah! That's the one. That's perfect.
335
00:17:19,460 --> 00:17:21,795
They didn't taste purple,
but they were purple carrots.
336
00:17:21,879 --> 00:17:24,548
It's a new kind of carrot, right?
337
00:17:24,631 --> 00:17:26,759
It tasted weird, but it was good.
338
00:17:26,842 --> 00:17:30,721
Okay, don't look,
but there's a couple on my right
339
00:17:30,804 --> 00:17:34,266
that's on possibly
the worst first date ever.
340
00:17:34,349 --> 00:17:36,143
I said don't look!
These two?
341
00:17:36,810 --> 00:17:39,646
She just asked him
if he wanted children.
342
00:17:39,730 --> 00:17:43,442
They haven't even ordered appetizers.
God. There's no coming back from that.
343
00:17:43,525 --> 00:17:45,778
We should tell them what they're in for.
No.
344
00:17:48,072 --> 00:17:52,159
You know, there is a small chance
that you're right.
345
00:17:52,242 --> 00:17:53,202
Yeah?
346
00:17:53,285 --> 00:17:55,579
A night out was a good idea.
Just a small chance?
347
00:17:55,662 --> 00:17:56,747
Yeah.
348
00:17:57,498 --> 00:17:58,749
I'm even wearing...
349
00:17:59,416 --> 00:18:01,585
a thong.
You are?
350
00:18:01,668 --> 00:18:02,503
Me, too.
351
00:18:04,046 --> 00:18:08,467
How's yours? Mine's really uncomfortable.
I feel good. Holds everything in place.
352
00:18:11,053 --> 00:18:11,929
See, this is nice.
353
00:18:12,012 --> 00:18:13,097
Mm.
354
00:18:13,597 --> 00:18:15,182
We needed this.
Mmhmm.
355
00:18:17,559 --> 00:18:18,602
We did.
356
00:18:20,479 --> 00:18:23,273
It's just hard for me
to relax sometimes.
357
00:18:24,274 --> 00:18:27,736
I get so worried about the kids and...
I know. But everything's good.
358
00:18:27,820 --> 00:18:29,655
The kids are great. Everything's fine.
359
00:18:30,989 --> 00:18:33,700
The kids are great?
Oh, come on. Here we go.
360
00:18:34,660 --> 00:18:37,830
No, I just want to hear
why you think the kids are so great.
361
00:18:37,913 --> 00:18:39,790
Why are you getting upset?
I'm not.
362
00:18:39,873 --> 00:18:41,834
You're implying that
I worry over nothing.
363
00:18:41,917 --> 00:18:44,378
Well... I mean, sometimes, you do.
364
00:18:45,671 --> 00:18:48,841
I mean, who cares? Sam wants to date.
That's good. That's a good thing.
365
00:18:48,966 --> 00:18:50,884
He's 18.
It'd be weird if he didn't want to date.
366
00:18:50,968 --> 00:18:54,012
Because, Doug, it's not just dating.
367
00:18:54,096 --> 00:18:56,306
First it's dating,
and then he's graduating,
368
00:18:56,390 --> 00:18:58,433
and then he's moving out into the world.
369
00:18:58,517 --> 00:19:00,561
We can't protect him,
and that's terrifying.
370
00:19:00,644 --> 00:19:02,020
That's what we want for him.
371
00:19:02,104 --> 00:19:03,313
There's a lot we want
372
00:19:03,397 --> 00:19:05,524
that aren't possible for him.
How do you know?
373
00:19:05,607 --> 00:19:08,152
I'm the one that's been with him
for these last 18 years.
374
00:19:08,235 --> 00:19:10,946
You've never been close to him.
You don't even try.
375
00:19:11,029 --> 00:19:14,283
I mean, honestly, there is times
I think you don't even like him.
376
00:19:16,785 --> 00:19:17,911
That's what you think?
377
00:19:19,496 --> 00:19:20,956
I love our son.
378
00:19:22,207 --> 00:19:26,461
I always have. Has it been hard
to connect with him? Yeah, it has been.
379
00:19:27,004 --> 00:19:29,548
I thought he'd be more
like me or like you.
380
00:19:29,631 --> 00:19:32,885
He's not like either one of us
or anyone else I've ever met.
381
00:19:33,802 --> 00:19:34,678
I know.
Yeah.
382
00:19:34,761 --> 00:19:37,097
You remember his ninth birthday?
383
00:19:37,181 --> 00:19:38,140
He wanted an igloo.
384
00:19:38,223 --> 00:19:40,267
And what did I do?
You built it.
385
00:19:40,350 --> 00:19:43,103
Yeah,
I spent 19 hours hauling and stacking
386
00:19:43,187 --> 00:19:45,230
fricking ice blocks into the backyard
387
00:19:45,314 --> 00:19:47,482
just so my son would notice I was there.
388
00:19:48,192 --> 00:19:49,109
So he would like me.
389
00:19:49,193 --> 00:19:51,195
And he wouldn't even go
inside because...
390
00:19:51,278 --> 00:19:53,488
the ice blocks weren't
lined up precisely.
391
00:19:53,572 --> 00:19:55,908
Okay.
You're not the only one in the family
392
00:19:55,991 --> 00:19:57,492
who has an autistic kid, Elsa.
393
00:19:59,494 --> 00:20:00,996
Can I get you anything else?
394
00:20:01,079 --> 00:20:03,540
No. Thank you.
No, thank you.
395
00:20:08,086 --> 00:20:09,296
Not it.
396
00:20:15,177 --> 00:20:16,220
Hey!
397
00:20:20,057 --> 00:20:20,891
Hi.
398
00:20:22,184 --> 00:20:25,270
I just came to get Beth's cake pan back.
399
00:20:25,354 --> 00:20:26,772
Okay.
400
00:20:27,356 --> 00:20:28,941
I could've brought it to school.
401
00:20:29,608 --> 00:20:30,442
Weird.
402
00:20:30,525 --> 00:20:32,152
Should I come in or, um...
403
00:20:32,236 --> 00:20:33,654
I'll just hang here.
404
00:20:35,822 --> 00:20:36,990
Here you go.
405
00:20:37,532 --> 00:20:40,410
It's been washed twice...
once by me and once by my mom.
406
00:20:40,494 --> 00:20:42,371
'Cause that's my mom.
Thanks.
407
00:20:43,163 --> 00:20:46,166
That was nice of you to punch that girl
in the face for my sister.
408
00:20:46,250 --> 00:20:48,126
Oh, yeah, you're welcome.
409
00:20:48,835 --> 00:20:51,421
Hey, do you want to go out sometime?
410
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:55,133
Go out?
411
00:20:55,884 --> 00:20:58,720
With you?
Yeah. That's what I was thinking.
412
00:20:58,804 --> 00:21:01,139
I'm sorry. I don't really date.
413
00:21:01,223 --> 00:21:03,141
It's just not a distraction I need.
414
00:21:03,225 --> 00:21:05,894
I'm gonna get a track scholarship
and get out of this town.
415
00:21:05,978 --> 00:21:07,771
Oh. Well, fair enough.
416
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:11,984
I'm probably gonna change your mind
about that dating thing, though.
417
00:21:12,067 --> 00:21:13,735
You know, I kind of grow on people.
418
00:21:13,819 --> 00:21:16,238
Stop the presses!
A girl wants to go out with me.
419
00:21:16,863 --> 00:21:18,198
Oh. Hello.
420
00:21:19,950 --> 00:21:21,159
I got to go.
421
00:21:27,749 --> 00:21:30,502
Her name's Bree, Bree.
422
00:21:30,585 --> 00:21:32,838
And she likes something
called vegan taquitos,
423
00:21:32,921 --> 00:21:35,299
and she has a cat named Simba.
I don't love cats.
424
00:21:35,382 --> 00:21:38,218
Do you think she'd get rid of it?
Do not ask her that.
425
00:21:39,344 --> 00:21:41,388
Where are you gonna go?
I thought about it.
426
00:21:41,471 --> 00:21:44,933
I'll take her to Techtropolis.
Take a date to an appliance store?
427
00:21:45,017 --> 00:21:47,394
I have to go where I'm comfortable.
Oh, my God.
428
00:21:47,477 --> 00:21:51,189
It'll be fun. We can sample different TVs
and see which one has the best clarity.
429
00:21:51,273 --> 00:21:53,150
I know,
but we'll see if she gets it right.
430
00:21:53,233 --> 00:21:54,943
She wants to go for coffee.
431
00:21:56,028 --> 00:21:57,863
Coffee?
Mmhmm.
432
00:21:58,697 --> 00:22:00,615
Who goes out for coffee?
433
00:22:00,699 --> 00:22:03,994
Hey. Relax. This is gonna be okay.
434
00:22:04,828 --> 00:22:06,330
No, it's not.
435
00:22:07,748 --> 00:22:09,207
Yeah, no, it's not.
436
00:22:10,417 --> 00:22:13,712
Being in a loud,
unfamiliar place can be hard for me.
437
00:22:13,795 --> 00:22:16,798
I can't think.
I can't listen. I just freeze.
438
00:22:17,382 --> 00:22:19,301
But... don't worry.
439
00:22:19,384 --> 00:22:20,343
I have a strategy.
440
00:22:21,595 --> 00:22:22,971
Floor here's kind of sticky.
441
00:22:25,057 --> 00:22:27,809
Did you know that some frogs have pads
on their feet
442
00:22:27,893 --> 00:22:31,188
that secrete a thin layer of mucus
so to help them climb things?
443
00:22:32,439 --> 00:22:33,982
What's with the headphones?
444
00:22:34,775 --> 00:22:37,986
Oh. I just turned on
the noisecancellation feature.
445
00:22:38,070 --> 00:22:40,405
Need a little protection
from the racket.
446
00:22:47,329 --> 00:22:50,082
Baby,
those are some serious bug eyes you got.
447
00:22:50,665 --> 00:22:51,500
What?
448
00:22:55,462 --> 00:22:57,047
Mamacita...
449
00:22:57,589 --> 00:22:58,590
your ass is on the phone?
450
00:23:01,635 --> 00:23:04,221
I don't like cats. Would you
be willing to get rid of Simba?
451
00:23:08,975 --> 00:23:10,602
Yo, I'm clocking out.
452
00:23:10,685 --> 00:23:13,063
Can you see my nipples through here?
Yes.
453
00:23:13,146 --> 00:23:15,774
Good. I was standing
in front of the air conditioner.
454
00:23:15,857 --> 00:23:17,526
So, how's it going with the ladies?
455
00:23:18,401 --> 00:23:20,862
I'm not dating anymore.
It's too difficult.
456
00:23:20,946 --> 00:23:24,950
You have to guess what people are
thinking, and not just people, girls.
457
00:23:25,033 --> 00:23:27,160
They think I'm weird.
You are weird. So what?
458
00:23:27,244 --> 00:23:30,455
The French eat snails. That's weird,
but you know they're getting laid.
459
00:23:30,539 --> 00:23:32,040
Hey, look. Red's back.
460
00:23:33,166 --> 00:23:34,417
Ask her out.
461
00:23:34,501 --> 00:23:35,877
Go, go, go!
462
00:23:35,961 --> 00:23:36,962
Go!
463
00:23:37,421 --> 00:23:38,547
Go.
464
00:23:49,933 --> 00:23:51,643
Laser or inkjet?
465
00:23:51,726 --> 00:23:53,228
Oh, uh...
466
00:23:53,311 --> 00:23:56,189
I don't know.
I didn't really do any research.
467
00:23:56,273 --> 00:23:59,234
Well, lucky for you, I love research,
468
00:23:59,317 --> 00:24:00,944
and I know all about these printers.
469
00:24:01,027 --> 00:24:02,237
You should get this one.
470
00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:04,781
The other ones are garbage
and should be set on fire.
471
00:24:04,865 --> 00:24:06,867
Wow. Thanks.
472
00:24:06,950 --> 00:24:08,702
That's actually really helpful.
473
00:24:27,429 --> 00:24:29,472
Would you like to go on a date with me?
474
00:24:29,556 --> 00:24:32,726
That's the reason I came over here,
not to help you with printers.
475
00:24:37,564 --> 00:24:38,398
Okay.
476
00:24:39,941 --> 00:24:41,151
Ow!
477
00:24:41,234 --> 00:24:42,652
Gold rush
478
00:24:44,237 --> 00:24:47,032
Hey, I got... uh!
479
00:24:48,992 --> 00:24:50,243
I got to dig for it
480
00:24:50,327 --> 00:24:51,369
He got a date!
481
00:24:51,453 --> 00:24:52,787
Hey, hey, hey
482
00:24:53,872 --> 00:24:54,706
Hey, hon.
483
00:24:54,789 --> 00:24:56,541
You going to hockey?
Yeah.
484
00:24:56,625 --> 00:24:58,126
I shouldn't be home late.
485
00:24:59,252 --> 00:25:00,462
Honey.
486
00:25:01,254 --> 00:25:03,965
I'm sorry about dinner the other night.
487
00:25:04,049 --> 00:25:07,093
I'm just stressed, and...
it was a really nice idea.
488
00:25:07,177 --> 00:25:09,471
It's all right. Oh, listen, I...
489
00:25:09,554 --> 00:25:10,889
I got you something.
490
00:25:11,556 --> 00:25:12,807
You love to dance, right?
491
00:25:13,725 --> 00:25:17,103
You should check this out,
have some fun, maybe make a friend.
492
00:25:17,187 --> 00:25:18,396
You look good.
493
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:19,689
Sheesh!
494
00:25:19,773 --> 00:25:22,317
I don't even know
if I'll be able to dance anymore.
495
00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:24,861
Mamacita say, "Oh, oh"
496
00:25:24,945 --> 00:25:27,489
Mi amigo say, "Oh, Oh"
497
00:25:27,572 --> 00:25:30,033
Everybody say, "Oh, oh"
498
00:25:30,116 --> 00:25:32,244
We got your drummer there,
"Oh, oh"
499
00:25:32,327 --> 00:25:34,704
Mamacita say, "Oh, oh"
500
00:25:34,788 --> 00:25:36,539
Mi amigo say, "Oh, Oh"
501
00:25:36,623 --> 00:25:39,834
Thank you so much. That was so much fun!
502
00:25:39,918 --> 00:25:42,671
Oh, you're welcome! You're great.
You're a dancer, huh?
503
00:25:42,754 --> 00:25:44,881
What? Oh, no. I mean, forever ago.
504
00:25:44,965 --> 00:25:48,093
I was the captain
of the dance squad in college.
505
00:25:48,176 --> 00:25:49,469
Oh.
Yeah.
506
00:25:49,552 --> 00:25:51,805
We ranked nationally three times,
almost four.
507
00:25:51,888 --> 00:25:54,015
We were robbed, but whatever.
I'm over it.
508
00:25:54,766 --> 00:25:57,811
Hey, a few of us are gonna go grab
a drink. You want to come?
509
00:25:57,894 --> 00:26:00,480
Um, uh...
510
00:26:01,648 --> 00:26:02,857
Sure.
511
00:26:04,693 --> 00:26:06,278
This is so much fun.
512
00:26:07,904 --> 00:26:10,198
I feel like I'm back in college again.
513
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:15,203
Want another drink?
514
00:26:15,912 --> 00:26:18,290
Um... no, thanks.
515
00:26:18,373 --> 00:26:21,543
I think I've escaped
my real life long enough.
516
00:26:22,877 --> 00:26:27,215
I don't know why I said that.
I love my life. I love it. Love it.
517
00:26:27,299 --> 00:26:28,633
This one's on me.
518
00:26:35,307 --> 00:26:39,060
When you told me we were having dinner
in the Techtropolis parking lot,
519
00:26:39,144 --> 00:26:40,645
I thought you were kidding.
520
00:26:41,479 --> 00:26:42,522
No, I don't do that.
521
00:26:43,356 --> 00:26:44,649
Oh.
522
00:26:44,733 --> 00:26:46,151
You're very pretty.
Thanks.
523
00:26:46,234 --> 00:26:48,737
I always thought my nose was too big.
524
00:26:48,820 --> 00:26:51,990
A little, but the rest of
your face makes up for it.
525
00:26:54,743 --> 00:26:55,827
Wow.
526
00:26:55,910 --> 00:26:57,203
You're really honest, huh?
527
00:26:57,287 --> 00:26:58,955
Yes. Is that bad?
528
00:27:00,123 --> 00:27:01,958
No. It's refreshing.
529
00:27:02,042 --> 00:27:03,960
Tell me more.
Okay.
530
00:27:04,044 --> 00:27:06,713
I'm really good at fixing computers,
531
00:27:06,796 --> 00:27:09,174
and biology is my favorite subject
in school.
532
00:27:09,257 --> 00:27:10,383
Girls don't like me.
533
00:27:10,467 --> 00:27:13,803
I love penguins,
but I'm not supposed to talk about it.
534
00:27:13,887 --> 00:27:15,388
I've never had sex before,
535
00:27:15,472 --> 00:27:17,807
and I have a pet turtle named Edison,
536
00:27:17,891 --> 00:27:20,602
who's named after Thomas Edison,
but he's not as smart.
537
00:27:23,438 --> 00:27:24,647
You're hilarious.
538
00:27:24,731 --> 00:27:25,774
Thank you.
539
00:27:28,735 --> 00:27:29,903
You never had sex?
540
00:27:30,487 --> 00:27:31,404
No.
541
00:27:33,823 --> 00:27:34,657
Want to?
542
00:27:45,710 --> 00:27:46,628
What are you doing?
543
00:27:46,711 --> 00:27:50,298
I just came to see if you changed
your mind about going out with me.
544
00:27:51,758 --> 00:27:52,801
I brought you this.
545
00:27:52,884 --> 00:27:55,095
What is up with your family
bringing me sweets?
546
00:27:55,970 --> 00:27:57,430
I don't know. I like you.
547
00:27:58,306 --> 00:27:59,140
Why?
548
00:27:59,224 --> 00:28:00,517
Uh...
549
00:28:02,143 --> 00:28:06,147
'Cause most people don't stand up
to assholes, but you do.
550
00:28:20,495 --> 00:28:21,955
Then there was Mel.
Mmhmm.
551
00:28:22,038 --> 00:28:24,290
That was my longest relationship,
like a month.
552
00:28:24,374 --> 00:28:25,417
Wow. A month.
553
00:28:25,500 --> 00:28:27,043
Stop it.
554
00:28:27,711 --> 00:28:30,130
Why am I telling you this?
Let's talk about something else.
555
00:28:30,213 --> 00:28:32,424
What? No. I want to hear about
your month with Mel.
556
00:28:35,885 --> 00:28:38,680
I don't know. I like what I do, I guess.
557
00:28:38,763 --> 00:28:41,057
Mmhmm.
I don't mean my job necessarily.
558
00:28:41,141 --> 00:28:42,559
Just my life.
559
00:28:43,351 --> 00:28:46,062
I wake up when I want.
I do what I want. I go where I want.
560
00:28:46,146 --> 00:28:48,606
Last week, I wanted to go
to the mountains, so I did.
561
00:28:48,690 --> 00:28:51,109
I didn't have to plan anything
or run it by anyone.
562
00:28:51,192 --> 00:28:53,862
I mean, that may be weird, but I just...
563
00:28:53,945 --> 00:28:55,029
I need that.
564
00:28:59,284 --> 00:29:01,202
Is that totally lame or what?
565
00:29:03,496 --> 00:29:05,165
No, that sounds great.
566
00:29:05,248 --> 00:29:07,834
I mean, you're a little old for that,
but, you know?
567
00:29:08,334 --> 00:29:10,420
Thanks.
568
00:29:11,045 --> 00:29:13,923
I think, if it were really, really cold,
569
00:29:14,007 --> 00:29:15,592
like Antarctica cold,
570
00:29:15,675 --> 00:29:18,178
the coldness would feel like a sound.
571
00:29:18,261 --> 00:29:21,014
The cold would be so intense
that you could hear it.
572
00:29:21,097 --> 00:29:22,515
I would like to hear that sound.
573
00:29:32,275 --> 00:29:35,445
I slip softly through
574
00:29:36,029 --> 00:29:39,365
Never been in a dorm. This isn't
what I thought it would smell like.
575
00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:42,827
Yeah. My roommate makes a lot of ramen.
576
00:29:42,911 --> 00:29:46,331
Sometimes,
being touched makes me... jumpy.
577
00:29:46,414 --> 00:29:49,209
It has to be hard touch, uh, pressure.
578
00:29:49,292 --> 00:29:51,377
I like pressure. I don't like soft.
579
00:29:51,461 --> 00:29:53,880
Is that okay to say on the first date?
580
00:29:53,963 --> 00:29:55,840
Ooh, ooh, ooh
581
00:29:58,510 --> 00:30:00,053
Ooh, ooh, ooh
582
00:30:00,136 --> 00:30:05,350
It'll burn, burn,
burn, burn, burn
583
00:30:05,433 --> 00:30:07,644
Burn us both alive
584
00:30:12,106 --> 00:30:12,941
Aah!
585
00:30:13,024 --> 00:30:14,484
What the hell?
586
00:30:16,319 --> 00:30:18,321
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
587
00:30:18,404 --> 00:30:19,864
What is wrong with you?
588
00:30:19,948 --> 00:30:23,618
Seriously, are you retarded? Is there
something wrong with your brain?
589
00:30:26,913 --> 00:30:28,957
Get the hell out of my room.
590
00:30:33,503 --> 00:30:35,380
Sometimes, when I feel most alone,
591
00:30:35,463 --> 00:30:37,507
I imagine myself in that ice...
592
00:30:37,590 --> 00:30:40,760
frozen, unable to move, but safe.
593
00:30:50,270 --> 00:30:54,190
I thought technical school would be
dumb, but I actually really like it.
594
00:30:55,483 --> 00:30:58,820
Oh, hey. There he is, the "twat" guy.
595
00:30:59,696 --> 00:31:00,864
What's wrong?
596
00:31:02,448 --> 00:31:04,075
Sam?
597
00:31:15,378 --> 00:31:17,422
Here. Careful, it's hot.
598
00:31:19,299 --> 00:31:21,759
Hey, dude, don't feel too bad.
599
00:31:21,843 --> 00:31:23,678
The first time's always a shit show.
600
00:31:24,512 --> 00:31:28,975
My first time was on a PingPong table,
and it collapsed like two seconds in.
601
00:31:29,058 --> 00:31:31,853
My balls got all wrapped up in the net.
Really freaked her out.
602
00:31:33,021 --> 00:31:35,315
How about you, Case?
Was it crappy your first time?
603
00:31:35,398 --> 00:31:36,774
Okay, gross.
604
00:31:36,858 --> 00:31:39,485
I'm not discussing my sex life
in front of my brother.
605
00:31:39,569 --> 00:31:41,654
Not that there's anything to discuss.
606
00:31:44,532 --> 00:31:46,242
Sometimes, I wish I was normal.
607
00:31:46,326 --> 00:31:47,660
Well, dude...
608
00:31:48,286 --> 00:31:49,370
nobody's normal.
609
00:32:15,355 --> 00:32:18,358
In fourth grade,
my biology teacher, Mr. Durocher
610
00:32:18,441 --> 00:32:22,403
he was fat
said penguins are similar to humans...
611
00:32:23,696 --> 00:32:27,408
because once they copulate, they
stay with the same partner for life.
612
00:32:28,159 --> 00:32:30,453
So, what about you?
What's your life like?
613
00:32:30,536 --> 00:32:32,538
Mm.
614
00:32:33,081 --> 00:32:36,000
Well, ironically, when I was in college,
615
00:32:36,084 --> 00:32:38,211
I also dated a girl for about a month.
616
00:32:39,712 --> 00:32:41,506
Mm.
617
00:32:41,589 --> 00:32:44,258
And I am a hairdresser.
618
00:32:44,342 --> 00:32:45,593
Yours is too short.
619
00:32:47,470 --> 00:32:50,014
You're funny. And kind of mean.
620
00:32:52,892 --> 00:32:55,144
Yeah, I'm always mean to people I like.
621
00:32:55,770 --> 00:32:57,939
I think it's 'cause I expect so much.
622
00:32:58,815 --> 00:33:00,108
So you like me.
623
00:33:03,027 --> 00:33:05,071
But according to the 2010 census,
624
00:33:05,154 --> 00:33:07,365
which is the most recent data
I could acquire,
625
00:33:07,448 --> 00:33:10,034
49% of marriages end in divorce.
626
00:33:12,662 --> 00:33:14,414
Sorry. Um...
627
00:33:16,666 --> 00:33:18,501
You know, um...
628
00:33:18,584 --> 00:33:21,421
if you turn the heat up
on your dishwasher,
629
00:33:21,504 --> 00:33:24,882
you won't have those ugly white spots
on the glasses. Just so...
630
00:33:37,353 --> 00:33:38,813
Penguins mate for life.
631
00:33:40,648 --> 00:33:43,317
So penguins aren't like people.
632
00:33:48,031 --> 00:33:49,490
They're better.
633
00:34:10,553 --> 00:34:12,680
I wonder if they ever get tired
of swimming.
634
00:34:13,181 --> 00:34:14,307
They don't.
635
00:34:18,644 --> 00:34:21,981
You know, Casey...
told me what happened...
636
00:34:23,357 --> 00:34:24,650
with the girl.
637
00:34:26,861 --> 00:34:28,279
I wish I had a time machine.
638
00:34:28,362 --> 00:34:31,699
I would go back in time
and never ask her out
639
00:34:31,783 --> 00:34:34,243
and also maybe visit
the Middle Ages because...
640
00:34:34,327 --> 00:34:35,578
jousting.
641
00:34:36,621 --> 00:34:40,208
Look, I don't know about some
of that stuff you're into,
642
00:34:40,291 --> 00:34:43,377
but girls I know about, okay?
And they're tough.
643
00:34:44,670 --> 00:34:47,799
I'm proud of you
for putting yourself out there.
644
00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:53,096
I should never go on another date.
I should just stay away from girls.
645
00:34:53,971 --> 00:34:56,849
Sam, look, you got some stuff
to figure out, but you will.
646
00:34:58,643 --> 00:34:59,894
You're a good guy.
647
00:34:59,977 --> 00:35:02,188
You're sensitive, and you're funny,
648
00:35:02,271 --> 00:35:05,274
and the woman who ends up
with you will be lucky.
649
00:35:06,651 --> 00:35:08,319
You want to marry your best friend.
650
00:35:09,654 --> 00:35:10,530
Edison?
651
00:35:10,613 --> 00:35:11,572
No.
652
00:35:12,198 --> 00:35:13,491
Not your turtle, Sam.
653
00:35:13,574 --> 00:35:15,993
You said my best friend.
He's my best friend.
654
00:35:17,078 --> 00:35:18,121
I just...
655
00:35:19,038 --> 00:35:23,292
I meant you want to be with someone
who appreciates you for what you are.
656
00:35:24,127 --> 00:35:27,797
You know, who loves all
the little odd things about you...
657
00:35:28,506 --> 00:35:29,590
who gets you.
658
00:35:32,969 --> 00:35:34,762
Penguins mate for life, you know?
659
00:35:36,389 --> 00:35:37,515
Yeah?
660
00:35:38,850 --> 00:35:40,184
Well, good for them.
661
00:35:41,853 --> 00:35:45,565
So, how are you feeling now?
Still ready to give up on dating?
662
00:35:45,648 --> 00:35:48,317
I don't know.
My dad said to find someone
663
00:35:48,401 --> 00:35:51,571
who appreciates me for what I am,
which is a weirdo.
664
00:35:52,530 --> 00:35:53,614
We talked a lot.
665
00:35:53,698 --> 00:35:55,158
Glad to hear it.
666
00:35:55,241 --> 00:35:58,411
And that makes sense.
You're easy to talk to.
667
00:36:02,206 --> 00:36:03,291
Yeah.
668
00:36:04,041 --> 00:36:05,376
You're easy to talk to, too,
669
00:36:05,459 --> 00:36:08,671
which is good 'cause,
otherwise, you'd go broke.
670
00:36:13,259 --> 00:36:16,179
When a male gentoo penguin
chooses a mate,
671
00:36:16,262 --> 00:36:17,346
he makes an offering.
672
00:36:18,139 --> 00:36:19,682
He finds a pebble,
673
00:36:19,765 --> 00:36:22,101
often taking the time
to find the smoothest one,
674
00:36:22,185 --> 00:36:24,020
and presents it to the female.
675
00:36:24,854 --> 00:36:27,690
I'm a human,
so it would be weird to offer a pebble.
676
00:36:28,357 --> 00:36:29,233
Julia.
677
00:36:31,277 --> 00:36:34,197
I've decided I want to give you my brain.
Really?
678
00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:35,448
After I die.
679
00:36:36,115 --> 00:36:37,950
Oh, Sam, that's so great.
680
00:36:40,369 --> 00:36:41,871
You're gonna help so many people.
681
00:36:43,664 --> 00:36:45,291
Good smile.
682
00:36:45,374 --> 00:36:46,751
It's not creepy at all.
683
00:36:46,834 --> 00:36:48,252
I've been practicing.
684
00:36:48,336 --> 00:36:49,503
Yeah, I can tell.
685
00:36:51,839 --> 00:36:54,425
If the female places the pebble
in her nest,
686
00:36:54,508 --> 00:36:56,219
she accepts him as a mate.
687
00:36:56,302 --> 00:36:58,846
And as you already know,
penguins mate for life.