1
00:00:13,059 --> 00:00:23,059
Translation and subtitles by
PEPPER & LALASPAIN
*** SONG LIVES FOR EVER ***

2
00:00:43,284 --> 00:00:45,348
So beautiful. Gorgeous!

3
00:00:45,350 --> 00:00:47,182
Just like your Kamran.

4
00:00:47,184 --> 00:00:50,276
He is the perfect match
for our Nousha.

5
00:00:58,883 --> 00:01:00,043
Nousha?

6
00:01:01,716 --> 00:01:02,876
Coming!

7
00:01:14,150 --> 00:01:15,714
- Babe?
- Yeah.

8
00:01:15,716 --> 00:01:17,848
- Hurry up. My mom's waiting.
- Yeah.

9
00:01:17,850 --> 00:01:19,648
- Where are your shoes?
- Right here.

10
00:01:19,650 --> 00:01:20,848
Okay, don't forget
to light the candles.

11
00:01:20,850 --> 00:01:21,948
- Oh, yeah.
- Okay?

12
00:01:21,950 --> 00:01:22,948
Yeah, I got you.

13
00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:24,109
- All right.
- Yeah.

14
00:01:33,783 --> 00:01:39,742
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

15
00:01:40,750 --> 00:01:46,182
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

16
00:01:46,184 --> 00:01:49,182
♪ Happy birthday ♪

17
00:01:49,184 --> 00:01:52,310
♪ Future mother-in-law ♪

18
00:01:54,417 --> 00:01:58,048
♪ Happy birthday ♪

19
00:01:58,050 --> 00:02:00,976
♪ To you ♪

20
00:02:08,917 --> 00:02:10,915
- Noushi.
- Nousha.

21
00:02:10,917 --> 00:02:12,376
- Nousha.
- Nousha.

22
00:02:13,317 --> 00:02:14,776
We need to talk.

23
00:02:15,716 --> 00:02:16,842
Yeah.

24
00:02:18,350 --> 00:02:24,382
Uh, we... I mean I think that...

26
00:02:24,384 --> 00:02:28,781
You may not be the best fit
for our Kamran, okay?

27
00:02:28,783 --> 00:02:31,976
- Oh.
- Are you breaking up with me?

28
00:02:34,184 --> 00:02:36,415
Is your mother
breaking up with me?

29
00:02:36,417 --> 00:02:39,881
We want the ring back.

30
00:02:39,883 --> 00:02:42,681
Ohh... Give it back.

32
00:02:42,683 --> 00:02:45,041
Give it back.

33
00:02:50,950 --> 00:02:53,048
These people are fake.

34
00:02:53,050 --> 00:02:54,274
I love you.

35
00:02:56,284 --> 00:02:58,948
She is freak.

36
00:02:58,950 --> 00:03:00,243
Such a freak.

37
00:03:01,650 --> 00:03:02,809
Come along.

38
00:03:50,650 --> 00:03:52,182
Come on, come on.
Do you feel that burn?

39
00:03:52,184 --> 00:03:53,248
Four, three.

40
00:03:53,250 --> 00:03:55,215
Spooky girl in the back,

41
00:03:55,217 --> 00:03:56,915
why you goin' so slow?

42
00:03:56,917 --> 00:03:59,776
This isn't a yoga class.
Move those legs!

43
00:04:32,350 --> 00:04:34,807
Who loves mommy?
Does Lulu love mommy?

44
00:04:36,084 --> 00:04:37,781
What'd you say?

45
00:04:37,783 --> 00:04:40,015
Did you just say Dartmouth?

46
00:04:40,017 --> 00:04:41,382
She's a genius.

47
00:04:41,384 --> 00:04:43,143
I can already tell
by her speech pattern.

48
00:04:45,150 --> 00:04:47,748
Personally, I'm relieved
that it's all over.

49
00:04:47,750 --> 00:04:49,915
How did I let it get that far?
Did I even love him?

50
00:04:49,917 --> 00:04:50,948
No.

51
00:04:50,950 --> 00:04:52,348
You sabotaged the entire thing.

52
00:04:52,350 --> 00:04:54,048
You were dickmatized.

53
00:04:54,050 --> 00:04:55,915
Explain yourself. Come here.

54
00:04:55,917 --> 00:04:57,315
You were in love with his dick.

55
00:04:57,317 --> 00:04:59,781
You only talked about
how great the sex was.

56
00:04:59,783 --> 00:05:01,215
You never talked about anything

57
00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:02,981
that you actually
liked about him

58
00:05:02,983 --> 00:05:06,048
or anything that you guys
had in common.

59
00:05:06,050 --> 00:05:08,115
Why did you guys
not tell me sooner?

60
00:05:08,117 --> 00:05:11,148
Oh, God. We didn't wanna
interrupt your dickathalon.

61
00:05:11,150 --> 00:05:12,815
Plus, Missy beloved him,

62
00:05:12,817 --> 00:05:14,915
and you don't like
to disappoint Missy.

63
00:05:14,917 --> 00:05:17,215
I mean, nobody does.

64
00:05:17,217 --> 00:05:18,282
She convinced me
I was straight once.

65
00:05:18,284 --> 00:05:19,915
Remember Michael?

66
00:05:19,917 --> 00:05:22,376
Oh, my God.
I was doing him for my mom.

67
00:05:26,217 --> 00:05:28,248
And you liked it.

68
00:05:28,250 --> 00:05:30,781
It's my fault.

69
00:05:30,783 --> 00:05:33,148
Actually,
it's your father's fault.

70
00:05:33,150 --> 00:05:35,781
He let you be too American.

71
00:05:35,783 --> 00:05:38,943
But it's not too late.
We can fix this.

72
00:05:43,750 --> 00:05:46,315
- Hello.
- Oh, Ziba.

73
00:05:46,317 --> 00:05:49,210
Hi, how are you?

74
00:05:51,750 --> 00:05:52,815
Nousha, come.

75
00:05:52,817 --> 00:05:54,948
Hi, Aunt Sousa.

76
00:05:54,950 --> 00:05:57,881
Nousha, what happened to
that rock on your finger?

77
00:05:57,883 --> 00:05:59,881
They weren't good enough.

78
00:05:59,883 --> 00:06:01,748
I heard they were
filing for bankruptcy.

79
00:06:01,750 --> 00:06:03,315
Mom!

80
00:06:03,317 --> 00:06:05,082
He was impotent.

81
00:06:05,084 --> 00:06:06,848
That's not true.
It didn't work out.

82
00:06:06,850 --> 00:06:09,182
Oh, don't worry, Aziza.

83
00:06:09,184 --> 00:06:10,815
Don't worry. I have a son.

84
00:06:10,817 --> 00:06:12,681
30 years old,
and he likes older women.

85
00:06:12,683 --> 00:06:14,315
I wanna show the picture.
Look at that.

86
00:06:14,317 --> 00:06:15,382
Look at the picture.

87
00:06:15,384 --> 00:06:17,215
Here, here, look at that.

88
00:06:17,217 --> 00:06:18,276
More, more.

89
00:06:22,384 --> 00:06:24,709
Look at that one.
Look at this one.

90
00:06:26,783 --> 00:06:28,748
- Wow.
- He's just like his father

91
00:06:28,750 --> 00:06:30,809
in that department.

92
00:06:32,217 --> 00:06:34,714
Look at that.

93
00:06:34,716 --> 00:06:36,410
Look at that boy.

94
00:06:44,217 --> 00:06:46,048
- Hi.
- Hi.

95
00:06:46,050 --> 00:06:48,781
Are you okay?

96
00:06:48,783 --> 00:06:50,709
So sorry, Noush.

97
00:06:52,050 --> 00:06:54,443
- Hi.
- You okay?

98
00:06:56,683 --> 00:06:58,681
Nousha, are you coming to
the rally tomorrow night?

99
00:06:58,683 --> 00:06:59,681
Yas.

100
00:06:59,683 --> 00:07:01,148
- Yas?
- Yes.

101
00:07:01,150 --> 00:07:03,681
We need at least 100 people
there to get some press.

102
00:07:03,683 --> 00:07:05,648
Babe, I'll be there.

103
00:07:05,650 --> 00:07:06,748
You better be.

104
00:07:06,750 --> 00:07:08,315
- Yeah.
- Hang in there, girl.

105
00:07:08,317 --> 00:07:10,048
Lynne, does everybody
know my business?

106
00:07:10,050 --> 00:07:12,115
Yeah. RJ, are you coming
to the rally tomorrow?

107
00:07:12,117 --> 00:07:13,948
- Yeah.
- Okay, good.

108
00:07:13,950 --> 00:07:15,648
You shared it on all of our
social media platforms, right?

109
00:07:15,650 --> 00:07:16,981
It's been on Facebook,

110
00:07:16,983 --> 00:07:18,881
and everybody has said
they were coming.

111
00:07:18,883 --> 00:07:20,815
- There's like 100 people.
- I'll believe it when I see it.

112
00:07:20,817 --> 00:07:22,015
Everyone's a Facebook activist.

113
00:07:22,017 --> 00:07:23,148
When it comes to
actually showing up,

114
00:07:23,150 --> 00:07:24,915
they'd rather go to happy hour.

115
00:07:24,917 --> 00:07:27,048
Happy hour is more fun than
protesting sexual assault.

116
00:07:27,050 --> 00:07:29,382
- Shut up, RJ.
- Okay, okay, enough, enough.

117
00:07:29,384 --> 00:07:32,681
Did you get all the declarations
for the Jones' case?

118
00:07:32,683 --> 00:07:34,015
Thank you.

119
00:07:34,017 --> 00:07:35,015
I need your draft of the memo.

120
00:07:35,017 --> 00:07:36,781
I'm 100% on it.

121
00:07:36,783 --> 00:07:38,748
It's just that part of
the research was unclear,

122
00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:40,015
so I had to verify
with co-counsel

123
00:07:40,017 --> 00:07:41,681
and they're really slow
to respond.

124
00:07:41,683 --> 00:07:44,648
I don't care.
Just figure it out today.

125
00:07:44,650 --> 00:07:47,015
Actually, I was able
to get clarification.

126
00:07:47,017 --> 00:07:48,648
- I finished the draft.
- Great.

127
00:07:48,650 --> 00:07:51,415
I figured you had
so much on your plate.

128
00:07:51,417 --> 00:07:53,648
I don't need you to do my job.
I was on it.

129
00:07:53,650 --> 00:07:55,248
I heard you got dumped.

130
00:07:55,250 --> 00:07:57,115
- Out of my office.
- Please show up for the rally.

131
00:07:57,117 --> 00:08:00,182
- Do not leave me hanging.
- We're coming to your rally.

132
00:08:00,184 --> 00:08:03,648
And just so you know,
I'm available.

133
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:05,382
- No.
- You sure?

134
00:08:05,384 --> 00:08:08,382
I'll make sure you get
a gold medal at this...

135
00:08:08,384 --> 00:08:09,815
dickathalon.

136
00:08:09,817 --> 00:08:11,182
Lynne?

137
00:08:11,184 --> 00:08:12,915
What's up, sweetie?

138
00:08:12,917 --> 00:08:14,781
Did you tell
everybody my business?

139
00:08:14,783 --> 00:08:16,781
I definitely did.
See you at the rally.

140
00:08:16,783 --> 00:08:19,276
I'm sorry, are you all
still in my office?

141
00:08:21,150 --> 00:08:23,709
I will think about it.

142
00:08:30,817 --> 00:08:33,215
I can't sleep
until you get married.

143
00:08:33,217 --> 00:08:35,176
I can probably get you
some Ambien.

144
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,415
I don't think
you tried hard enough.

145
00:08:38,417 --> 00:08:40,748
What if I didn't really
like him, Mom?

146
00:08:40,750 --> 00:08:42,115
You should try again.

147
00:08:42,117 --> 00:08:44,408
You're running out of time,
you know?

148
00:08:46,017 --> 00:08:47,981
She's a lesbian.

149
00:08:47,983 --> 00:08:50,648
Maybe you should stop
hanging out with those girls.

150
00:08:50,650 --> 00:08:53,282
Mom, get off my case, okay?

151
00:08:53,284 --> 00:08:55,148
I need some time to find myself.

152
00:08:55,150 --> 00:08:57,015
Oh, find yourself.

153
00:08:57,017 --> 00:08:58,714
What do you mean, find yourself?

154
00:08:58,716 --> 00:09:01,848
There you are, I found you.
Now find a husband.

155
00:09:01,850 --> 00:09:06,015
How has marriage even
survived as an institution?

156
00:09:06,017 --> 00:09:09,714
Our values have totally shifted.

157
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:12,315
There's been radical
social upheaval,

158
00:09:12,317 --> 00:09:16,048
gender equality,
female empowerment.

159
00:09:16,050 --> 00:09:17,648
I have arranged for you
to go out

160
00:09:17,650 --> 00:09:19,315
with Dr. Asad's son tomorrow.

161
00:09:19,317 --> 00:09:21,915
- I can't tomorrow.
- He has a PhD.

162
00:09:21,917 --> 00:09:23,714
It's Lynne's protest tomorrow,
Mom. I can't.

163
00:09:23,716 --> 00:09:26,915
You go to protests all the time.

164
00:09:26,917 --> 00:09:28,948
What's wrong with you?

165
00:09:28,950 --> 00:09:29,948
Are you a communist?

166
00:09:29,950 --> 00:09:32,115
All lesbians are communists.

167
00:09:32,117 --> 00:09:33,915
Careful.

168
00:09:33,917 --> 00:09:35,148
Aren't they?

169
00:09:35,150 --> 00:09:37,315
Hey, hey, ho, ho!

170
00:09:37,317 --> 00:09:38,848
Patriarchy has got to go!

171
00:09:38,850 --> 00:09:40,981
Hey, hey, ho, ho!

172
00:09:40,983 --> 00:09:42,648
Patriarchy has got to go!

173
00:09:42,650 --> 00:09:44,681
I can't believe this turnout.
I knew it.

174
00:09:44,683 --> 00:09:46,648
I thought people
cared more than this.

175
00:09:46,650 --> 00:09:47,981
Everybody's at happy hour.

176
00:09:47,983 --> 00:09:49,415
Here, just maybe
this'll liven things up.

177
00:09:49,417 --> 00:09:51,315
Hold this. I hold every...

178
00:09:51,317 --> 00:09:53,415
- Oh, ho!
- Yeah.

179
00:09:53,417 --> 00:09:55,681
Way to challenge the male gays.

180
00:09:55,683 --> 00:09:57,948
While I beat around that bush.

181
00:09:57,950 --> 00:09:59,348
That is huge.

182
00:09:59,350 --> 00:10:01,848
Hey, hey, ho, ho!
Patriarchy has got to go!

183
00:10:01,850 --> 00:10:03,182
Oh, my God, it's the Menstruals.

184
00:10:03,184 --> 00:10:04,848
- Who are they?
- This old male feminist group.

185
00:10:04,850 --> 00:10:06,148
I read about them on Buzzfeed.

186
00:10:06,150 --> 00:10:08,115
They like show up and protest.

187
00:10:08,117 --> 00:10:10,781
They're performance artists,
just doin' stuff like that.

188
00:10:10,783 --> 00:10:12,881
Hi, guys. Mind if we join?

189
00:10:12,883 --> 00:10:14,348
We would love that.
How did you hear about this?

190
00:10:14,350 --> 00:10:15,748
Are you kidding?
We're all huge followers

191
00:10:15,750 --> 00:10:17,282
of Pussies Against Patriarchy.

192
00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:18,282
That's my page.

193
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:19,648
Oh, cool.

194
00:10:19,650 --> 00:10:21,082
Hi, I'm Alex.

195
00:10:21,084 --> 00:10:22,781
- I'm Lynne.
- I'm Tessa.

196
00:10:22,783 --> 00:10:24,082
I'm Nousha.

197
00:10:24,084 --> 00:10:26,909
Hi, Nousha. I love your penis.

198
00:10:28,850 --> 00:10:30,182
Thanks. Let's do this!

199
00:10:30,184 --> 00:10:31,382
All right.

200
00:10:31,384 --> 00:10:33,282
Hey, hey, ho, ho!

201
00:10:33,284 --> 00:10:35,048
Patriarchy has got to go!

202
00:10:35,050 --> 00:10:36,915
Hey, hey, ho, ho!

203
00:10:36,917 --> 00:10:38,648
Patriarchy has got to go!

204
00:10:38,650 --> 00:10:40,748
Hey, hey, ho, ho!

205
00:10:40,750 --> 00:10:41,948
Patriarchy has got to go!

206
00:10:41,950 --> 00:10:43,176
Hey, hey!

207
00:10:45,384 --> 00:10:47,282
Patriarchy has got to go!

208
00:10:47,284 --> 00:10:49,315
Hey, hey, ho, ho!

209
00:10:49,317 --> 00:10:50,415
Patriarchy has got to go!

210
00:10:50,417 --> 00:10:52,148
Hey, Nousha, wait up.

211
00:10:52,150 --> 00:10:53,748
Hey, do you wanna come with us

212
00:10:53,750 --> 00:10:55,648
to the anti-oligarchy
rally downtown?

213
00:10:55,650 --> 00:10:57,015
It'll be fun.

214
00:10:57,017 --> 00:10:59,015
I can't, but thank you
for the invite.

215
00:10:59,017 --> 00:11:02,007
Okay, I got a great shot
of you and your penis saved.

216
00:11:02,917 --> 00:11:04,415
I could send it to you.

217
00:11:04,417 --> 00:11:07,842
Yeah, sure. Here's my card.

218
00:11:08,817 --> 00:11:10,115
There you go.

219
00:11:10,117 --> 00:11:12,348
Oh, card. That's really '90s.

220
00:11:12,350 --> 00:11:15,909
Great, yeah. Hit me up. Cool.

221
00:11:17,117 --> 00:11:18,714
Okay, well, have fun.

222
00:11:18,716 --> 00:11:20,748
- See ya.
- Okay.

223
00:11:20,750 --> 00:11:22,210
Bye.

224
00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:42,376
She's here.

225
00:11:45,250 --> 00:11:49,215
Oh, hi, Nousha.
Look who came by for a visit.

226
00:11:49,217 --> 00:11:50,714
- Hello.
- Hi.

227
00:11:50,716 --> 00:11:52,082
Hi.

228
00:11:52,084 --> 00:11:55,210
Why don't you get some tea
for our guests?

229
00:12:01,250 --> 00:12:04,243
She's so cute.

230
00:12:13,850 --> 00:12:15,815
Mom, can you
come in here, please?

231
00:12:15,817 --> 00:12:17,681
Excuse me.

232
00:12:17,683 --> 00:12:18,876
Of course.

233
00:12:25,017 --> 00:12:26,443
What?

234
00:12:27,417 --> 00:12:29,148
Tell 'em to leave.

235
00:12:29,150 --> 00:12:32,948
Oh, my God.

236
00:12:32,950 --> 00:12:35,176
You're killing me.

237
00:12:43,150 --> 00:12:45,148
Unfortunately,
she's not feeling well.

238
00:12:45,150 --> 00:12:46,976
So sorry.

239
00:13:01,917 --> 00:13:04,148
Oh, hey there, Ms. Smiley.

240
00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:05,248
That guy just texted me.

241
00:13:05,250 --> 00:13:07,382
- Who?
- The guy.

242
00:13:07,384 --> 00:13:10,082
Oh, yeah, I saw your little
moment with Menstrual white boy.

243
00:13:10,084 --> 00:13:11,315
- Did you text him back?
- No.

244
00:13:11,317 --> 00:13:12,382
Ask him out.

245
00:13:12,384 --> 00:13:14,714
I don't even know him.

246
00:13:14,716 --> 00:13:16,443
- Let's stalk.
- Yes.

247
00:13:18,184 --> 00:13:21,115
Alex Talbot.

248
00:13:21,117 --> 00:13:22,115
Talbot.

249
00:13:22,117 --> 00:13:23,781
Okay.

250
00:13:23,783 --> 00:13:26,182
Okay, according
to his Facebook interest

251
00:13:26,184 --> 00:13:28,315
he's a feminist,
he's into conceptual art,

252
00:13:28,317 --> 00:13:30,781
supporter of LGBT causes
and even deejays.

253
00:13:30,783 --> 00:13:33,282
- This guy's awesome.
- But not husband material.

254
00:13:33,284 --> 00:13:35,015
I'll never bring a guy
like that home.

255
00:13:35,017 --> 00:13:36,382
My parents would freak out.

256
00:13:36,384 --> 00:13:38,714
Plus, look at his pictures.
He's gay.

257
00:13:38,716 --> 00:13:40,348
You don't know that.
Just message him.

258
00:13:40,350 --> 00:13:42,681
- No.
- What is going on in here?

259
00:13:42,683 --> 00:13:44,748
- No, no, no, no, no.
- That's what's happening.

260
00:13:44,750 --> 00:13:45,815
No!

261
00:13:45,817 --> 00:13:47,015
Oh!

262
00:13:47,017 --> 00:13:48,415
Are you texting him right now?

263
00:13:48,417 --> 00:13:51,476
- I got you, girl.
- What are you typing?

264
00:13:52,817 --> 00:13:54,774
Ding! Looks like you got a date.

265
00:13:57,050 --> 00:14:00,248
Back on the market.

266
00:14:00,250 --> 00:14:04,876
I'm also
still on the market, so...

267
00:14:08,384 --> 00:14:11,210
Hmm? Did you say something?

268
00:14:23,184 --> 00:14:26,015
Okay, tell me
three things about you.

269
00:14:26,017 --> 00:14:29,981
I grew up in Orange County,
but my parents are from Iran.

270
00:14:29,983 --> 00:14:34,015
You know, that super peaceful
country in the Middle East.

271
00:14:34,017 --> 00:14:35,048
- I've heard of it.
- Mm-hmm.

272
00:14:35,050 --> 00:14:37,415
And... I don't know.

273
00:14:37,417 --> 00:14:39,015
Something fun.

274
00:14:39,017 --> 00:14:40,915
- I don't know.
- Okay, something like...

275
00:14:40,917 --> 00:14:43,382
who's your favorite
celebrity crush?

276
00:14:43,384 --> 00:14:44,681
David Hasselhoff.

277
00:14:44,683 --> 00:14:47,415
Just like that? Mine too.

278
00:14:47,417 --> 00:14:50,248
Really?

279
00:14:50,250 --> 00:14:51,781
What about you?

280
00:14:51,783 --> 00:14:53,842
Okay, I'd never
tell anyone this.

281
00:14:55,783 --> 00:14:58,815
- Celine Dion.
- You're joking.

282
00:14:58,817 --> 00:15:01,115
Nope. She's smoking.
Ever since I was 12 years old,

283
00:15:01,117 --> 00:15:03,648
I see her, I hear her,
I am rock hard.

284
00:15:03,650 --> 00:15:05,415
Okay, that's super weird

285
00:15:05,417 --> 00:15:08,248
because I do a killer
Celine Dion impersonation.

286
00:15:08,250 --> 00:15:09,981
- No.
- Yes,

287
00:15:09,983 --> 00:15:12,248
My mom was obsessed with her
when I was growing up,

288
00:15:12,250 --> 00:15:14,881
so I would imitate her
to make my mom like me.

289
00:15:14,883 --> 00:15:17,748
Okay, do it.

290
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:20,648
No way. That's like second date

291
00:15:20,650 --> 00:15:22,681
or like way down the line later.

292
00:15:22,683 --> 00:15:25,148
- Do it.
- No way.

293
00:15:25,150 --> 00:15:26,148
Do it.

294
00:15:26,150 --> 00:15:27,948
Mm-mm, absolutely not.

295
00:15:27,950 --> 00:15:29,648
Do it, do it, do it,

296
00:15:29,650 --> 00:15:33,182
and I will give you
all of my fries.

297
00:15:33,184 --> 00:15:34,848
Every single one.

298
00:15:34,850 --> 00:15:38,115
You are very lucky I like fries.

299
00:15:38,117 --> 00:15:39,781
Do it.

300
00:15:39,783 --> 00:15:41,343
Okay, but close your eyes.

301
00:15:47,650 --> 00:15:53,415
♪ There were nights
when the wind was so cold ♪

302
00:15:53,417 --> 00:15:56,082
♪ That my body froze in bed ♪

303
00:15:56,084 --> 00:15:59,348
♪ If I just listened to it ♪

304
00:15:59,350 --> 00:16:02,781
♪ Right outside my window ♪

305
00:16:02,783 --> 00:16:05,415
Oh, my God,
that's shockingly good.

306
00:16:05,417 --> 00:16:07,815
Your turn.

307
00:16:07,817 --> 00:16:08,948
I can't even think. I'm so hard.

308
00:16:08,950 --> 00:16:10,315
Three things, come on.

309
00:16:10,317 --> 00:16:14,048
Okay, I am an artist,

310
00:16:14,050 --> 00:16:19,048
I'm from California, and...

312
00:16:19,050 --> 00:16:21,148
my family is weird.

313
00:16:21,150 --> 00:16:26,415
That's funny 'cause my family's
actually totally normal.

314
00:16:26,417 --> 00:16:28,148
Can I have a bite?

315
00:16:28,150 --> 00:16:30,376
Yeah, sure.

316
00:16:33,750 --> 00:16:35,248
Why didn't you just order one?

317
00:16:35,250 --> 00:16:37,282
I was trying to be ladylike.

318
00:16:37,284 --> 00:16:38,648
Come on.

319
00:16:38,650 --> 00:16:40,376
It's so good.

320
00:16:43,750 --> 00:16:47,243
That guy is totally
checking you out.

321
00:16:49,284 --> 00:16:51,748
Yeah, he's cute.

322
00:16:51,750 --> 00:16:53,282
Oh!

323
00:16:53,284 --> 00:16:54,714
You're gay.

324
00:16:54,716 --> 00:16:57,248
No, I'm just not
totally straight.

325
00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:59,215
So you're bisexual.

326
00:16:59,217 --> 00:17:01,348
If you're into labels.

327
00:17:01,350 --> 00:17:05,015
But you're attracted to men.

328
00:17:05,017 --> 00:17:07,276
I'm attracted to you.

329
00:17:11,184 --> 00:17:13,115
You said I could
have your fries.

330
00:17:13,117 --> 00:17:14,282
Absolutely every single one.

331
00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:16,048
So you can have
this rabbit food.

332
00:17:16,050 --> 00:17:17,748
All for me?
I'm gonna eat your fries.

333
00:17:17,750 --> 00:17:19,648
It's delicious.

334
00:17:19,650 --> 00:17:21,915
It's a great neighborhood.

335
00:17:21,917 --> 00:17:23,276
I like it.

336
00:17:25,150 --> 00:17:27,248
How many more blocks?

337
00:17:27,250 --> 00:17:30,115
Why do you wear heels like that?
You cripple your feet.

338
00:17:30,117 --> 00:17:31,648
Take them off.

339
00:17:31,650 --> 00:17:32,714
And walk barefoot?

340
00:17:32,716 --> 00:17:33,948
Yeah.

341
00:17:33,950 --> 00:17:35,082
I'll get foot cancer.

342
00:17:35,084 --> 00:17:36,915
Okay, piggyback.

343
00:17:36,917 --> 00:17:38,714
- Really?
- Hop on, yeah.

344
00:17:38,716 --> 00:17:43,714
Okay.

345
00:17:43,716 --> 00:17:44,948
- Only 10...
- This is great.

346
00:17:44,950 --> 00:17:47,876
Ten more blocks.

347
00:17:56,716 --> 00:17:58,148
Is this where you work?

348
00:17:58,150 --> 00:17:59,809
And sleep.

349
00:18:03,950 --> 00:18:05,948
Okay, what do you think of this?

350
00:18:05,950 --> 00:18:07,981
I'm not gonna lie to you.
I don't know anything about art.

351
00:18:07,983 --> 00:18:09,648
No, no, that's great.
What would your gut say?

352
00:18:09,650 --> 00:18:11,415
It looks like a kindergarten
class project.

353
00:18:11,417 --> 00:18:14,648
Okay, I really felt like
it was made by an adult.

354
00:18:14,650 --> 00:18:17,648
No. You know, I really think
it was made by little hands.

355
00:18:17,650 --> 00:18:19,315
I was going for
postmodern irony.

356
00:18:19,317 --> 00:18:21,748
- Oh, you're the kindergartner.
- I'm the kindergartner.

357
00:18:21,750 --> 00:18:25,215
What I meant to say is it looks
like it was made by a genius.

358
00:18:25,217 --> 00:18:27,881
- Genius.
- Who is acutely in touch...

359
00:18:27,883 --> 00:18:29,714
- With inner child.
- With his inner child.

360
00:18:29,716 --> 00:18:31,815
Yeah, it's cool.
It's just my life's work.

361
00:18:31,817 --> 00:18:33,981
- Come up here.
- No, thanks.

362
00:18:33,983 --> 00:18:35,648
You have to see this one
from up here.

363
00:18:35,650 --> 00:18:37,182
Can you just take a picture
and then send it to me?

364
00:18:37,184 --> 00:18:38,243
It's safe.

365
00:18:40,017 --> 00:18:41,648
Come on.

366
00:18:41,650 --> 00:18:46,115
Ooh! This does not feel stable.

367
00:18:46,117 --> 00:18:48,348
It's as stable
as my parents' marriage.

368
00:18:48,350 --> 00:18:49,809
Great.

369
00:18:51,417 --> 00:18:53,048
Come here. You see it?

370
00:18:53,050 --> 00:18:54,182
Yeah.

371
00:18:54,184 --> 00:18:56,074
Open your eyes.

372
00:18:58,284 --> 00:19:00,048
I got you, I got you.
You see it?

373
00:19:00,050 --> 00:19:04,148
Okay, so the objects represent
how thin and deflating

374
00:19:04,150 --> 00:19:05,415
traditional notions
of masculinity are,

375
00:19:05,417 --> 00:19:07,115
and the sports themselves,

376
00:19:07,117 --> 00:19:09,348
they show us
the unnecessary aggression

377
00:19:09,350 --> 00:19:11,948
with which man seeks to dominate
everything that he does.

378
00:19:11,950 --> 00:19:13,709
And then the baseball...

379
00:19:16,917 --> 00:19:19,382
Thanks for making
the first move.

380
00:19:19,384 --> 00:19:21,143
You're welcome.

381
00:19:40,217 --> 00:19:42,082
You're kinda taking
advantage of me.

382
00:19:42,084 --> 00:19:43,315
I don't even know
your last name.

383
00:19:43,317 --> 00:19:46,648
- It's Husseini.
- Husseini?

384
00:19:46,650 --> 00:19:48,248
Yeah, like Saddam Hussein.

385
00:19:48,250 --> 00:19:50,681
Oh, that's hot.
You're like a dictator.

386
00:19:50,683 --> 00:19:53,382
Well, in high school,

387
00:19:53,384 --> 00:19:55,115
they actually called me
Saddam Hussein

388
00:19:55,117 --> 00:19:57,415
because I had a unibrow.

389
00:19:57,417 --> 00:19:59,382
That's so cruel.

390
00:19:59,384 --> 00:20:01,881
You wanna know what they
called me in high school?

391
00:20:01,883 --> 00:20:03,943
Andy Warhol queer boy.

392
00:20:05,250 --> 00:20:08,048
That's actually kinda accurate.

393
00:20:08,050 --> 00:20:10,976
You know what? You are
kinda like Saddam Hussein.

394
00:20:18,017 --> 00:20:19,848
What time is it?

395
00:20:19,850 --> 00:20:21,282
10:30.

396
00:20:21,284 --> 00:20:24,115
See? She gives a whole new
meaning to CP time.

397
00:20:24,117 --> 00:20:25,248
I don't know what that is.

398
00:20:25,250 --> 00:20:27,915
Colored people time.

399
00:20:27,917 --> 00:20:30,015
I don't think I'm allowed
to use that expression.

400
00:20:30,017 --> 00:20:32,742
- Well!
- There she is.

401
00:20:34,850 --> 00:20:36,848
- How did it go?
- Amazing, incredible.

402
00:20:36,850 --> 00:20:39,048
He's the greatest person
that's ever lived. I love him.

403
00:20:39,050 --> 00:20:40,915
So it went well.

404
00:20:40,917 --> 00:20:43,182
Yes, but...

405
00:20:43,184 --> 00:20:45,315
Oh, already she's starting
to pick him apart.

406
00:20:45,317 --> 00:20:47,714
- He's just...
- Not Persian. He's not Persian.

407
00:20:47,716 --> 00:20:49,981
He's never gonna fit
into my family.

408
00:20:49,983 --> 00:20:52,781
He's this free-spirited artist
who's funny and gentle

409
00:20:52,783 --> 00:20:54,115
and sensitive and progressive,

410
00:20:54,117 --> 00:20:55,848
and I'm from
a family of fascists

411
00:20:55,850 --> 00:20:57,348
who are gonna Mussolini him
outta my life

412
00:20:57,350 --> 00:20:58,681
if they ever meet him.

413
00:20:58,683 --> 00:21:00,215
Whoa, girl, slow down.

414
00:21:00,217 --> 00:21:01,348
You didn't tell him
all that, did you?

415
00:21:01,350 --> 00:21:02,748
Not exactly.

416
00:21:02,750 --> 00:21:04,781
- He's also bisexual.
- Huh.

417
00:21:04,783 --> 00:21:06,348
It's not a big deal.

418
00:21:06,350 --> 00:21:08,148
No. I mean Tessa's bi.

419
00:21:08,150 --> 00:21:09,848
I used to get really jealous
when men would look at her,

420
00:21:09,850 --> 00:21:11,382
but then my therapist
helped me realize

421
00:21:11,384 --> 00:21:13,182
that I'm not replaceable.

422
00:21:13,184 --> 00:21:16,041
- No, you're not.
- I'm bi for David Beckham.

423
00:21:17,783 --> 00:21:19,348
What?

424
00:21:19,350 --> 00:21:21,115
I'm going to work.

425
00:21:21,117 --> 00:21:23,709
You're so confusing.

426
00:21:25,350 --> 00:21:30,076
- You don't look it.
- "Gay for David Beckham."

427
00:21:33,350 --> 00:21:35,215
Thank you.

428
00:21:35,217 --> 00:21:37,048
Thank you.

429
00:21:37,050 --> 00:21:40,781
So who's your favorite
family member?

430
00:21:40,783 --> 00:21:42,248
I don't really have one.

431
00:21:42,250 --> 00:21:46,215
Come on, white man,
you gotta love someone.

432
00:21:46,217 --> 00:21:50,082
Steven, my dad's husband.

433
00:21:50,084 --> 00:21:52,215
Oh.

434
00:21:52,217 --> 00:21:54,315
- So your parents...
- Are divorced.

435
00:21:54,317 --> 00:21:57,781
- Huh.
- And my dad met a great guy.

436
00:21:57,783 --> 00:21:59,881
What was that like?

437
00:21:59,883 --> 00:22:02,148
Pretty fucked up. How 'bout you?

438
00:22:02,150 --> 00:22:04,182
- My grandma.
- Okay.

439
00:22:04,184 --> 00:22:07,315
- She's my whole world.
- Aww.

440
00:22:07,317 --> 00:22:09,915
My mom's gonna wanna drink
a bottle of the best tequila

441
00:22:09,917 --> 00:22:11,915
with you until you have
to put her to bed.

442
00:22:11,917 --> 00:22:13,714
That's amazing.

443
00:22:13,716 --> 00:22:15,248
My mom's gonna wanna make
you feel super inadequate

444
00:22:15,250 --> 00:22:17,248
in everything that you do
or will ever do.

445
00:22:17,250 --> 00:22:18,681
She sounds great.

446
00:22:18,683 --> 00:22:22,148
Fair warning,
my family is kinda nuts.

447
00:22:22,150 --> 00:22:23,781
My family's nuts too,

448
00:22:23,783 --> 00:22:25,881
but in an entirely
different way.

449
00:22:25,883 --> 00:22:27,382
I mean, we had to stick together

450
00:22:27,384 --> 00:22:30,748
to make it through war
and immigration.

451
00:22:30,750 --> 00:22:32,915
We're kinda like a tribe.

452
00:22:32,917 --> 00:22:34,781
That's cool.

453
00:22:34,783 --> 00:22:37,182
I've never felt like
part of a tribe.

454
00:22:37,184 --> 00:22:39,709
It can be stifling.

455
00:22:41,817 --> 00:22:43,915
We can be a tribe.

456
00:22:43,917 --> 00:22:45,915
I will happily stifle you.

457
00:22:45,917 --> 00:22:48,907
I wanna be part of your tribe
and be stifled.

458
00:22:52,117 --> 00:22:53,714
What is it that you do exactly?

459
00:22:53,716 --> 00:22:55,282
I'm a housing attorney.

460
00:22:55,284 --> 00:22:58,115
I litigate for low-income
tenants against big developers,

461
00:22:58,117 --> 00:23:01,915
mostly hang out in this office
or in conference rooms.

462
00:23:01,917 --> 00:23:03,748
Hey, Alex,
great to see you again.

463
00:23:03,750 --> 00:23:04,881
We met at the rally.

464
00:23:04,883 --> 00:23:06,848
- Hi.
- Hey, I'm Doris.

465
00:23:06,850 --> 00:23:07,848
Nice to meet you.

466
00:23:07,850 --> 00:23:09,182
- Pleasure.
- 'Sup!

467
00:23:09,184 --> 00:23:12,681
Not much, bro.

468
00:23:12,683 --> 00:23:14,082
These are my coworkers.

469
00:23:14,084 --> 00:23:15,981
- Bye, guys.
- Okay, bye.

470
00:23:15,983 --> 00:23:17,148
- Okay.
- Bye-bye.

471
00:23:17,150 --> 00:23:18,648
- Bye.
- Bye.

472
00:23:18,650 --> 00:23:21,215
- Short and sweet.
- Bye.

473
00:23:21,217 --> 00:23:23,182
Bye.

474
00:23:23,184 --> 00:23:24,781
Do you wanna go
literally anywhere else?

475
00:23:24,783 --> 00:23:26,943
- Sure, yeah.
- Anywhere else.

476
00:23:29,650 --> 00:23:32,415
This is as exciting as it gets.

477
00:23:32,417 --> 00:23:36,648
Are you kidding?
Your job's so cool.

478
00:23:36,650 --> 00:23:39,348
Have I ever told you that
I always wanted to be an actor?

479
00:23:39,350 --> 00:23:41,348
- Actor?
- Mm-hmm.

480
00:23:41,350 --> 00:23:45,714
But my parents were immigrants,
and I couldn't do that to them.

481
00:23:45,716 --> 00:23:51,648
You know, you actually look
amazing in this light.

482
00:23:51,650 --> 00:23:53,748
Can we make out here?

483
00:23:53,750 --> 00:23:57,082
Yes, but I don't want
the judge to see it.

484
00:23:57,084 --> 00:24:00,143
I laugh in the face of danger.

485
00:24:05,084 --> 00:24:07,115
Your job's so much cooler
than mine.

486
00:24:07,117 --> 00:24:09,009
- You think so?
- Yeah.

487
00:24:09,950 --> 00:24:11,714
Pretty dead though.

488
00:24:11,716 --> 00:24:14,915
It's a quiet night.
Means we can play what we want.

489
00:24:14,917 --> 00:24:16,748
So what's your
signature dance move?

490
00:24:16,750 --> 00:24:19,182
I can only dance
to Persian music.

491
00:24:19,184 --> 00:24:21,115
Eastern beats.

492
00:24:21,117 --> 00:24:23,815
You got it. Floor's yours.

493
00:24:23,817 --> 00:24:26,174
- No.
- Come on.

494
00:24:28,750 --> 00:24:29,943
- All right.
- Go on.

495
00:24:31,983 --> 00:24:33,981
First, you take your basket,

496
00:24:33,983 --> 00:24:37,714
and you plant your seeds, okay?

497
00:24:37,716 --> 00:24:39,415
- And then you take your hose...
- My hose?

498
00:24:39,417 --> 00:24:41,382
- And you water your seed.
- Oh, I like that.

499
00:24:41,384 --> 00:24:43,915
You water your seed.
All about the heat.

500
00:24:43,917 --> 00:24:45,681
And then you feed
your seed to grow.

501
00:24:45,683 --> 00:24:47,815
- That's sexy.
- Feed your seed to grow.

502
00:24:47,817 --> 00:24:50,282
And now your trees have bloomed,

503
00:24:50,284 --> 00:24:53,208
and you must harvest
the fruit, okay?

504
00:25:01,417 --> 00:25:03,382
- Okay.
- Thank you.

505
00:25:03,384 --> 00:25:05,443
- Serious question.
- Hmm.

506
00:25:06,850 --> 00:25:09,382
Have you told
your parents about me?

507
00:25:09,384 --> 00:25:11,048
Why would I ever do that?

508
00:25:11,050 --> 00:25:12,714
Because I told my parents
about you.

509
00:25:12,716 --> 00:25:15,881
- No, you haven't.
- Yeah, I have.

510
00:25:15,883 --> 00:25:17,648
What'd you tell 'em?

511
00:25:17,650 --> 00:25:20,148
I told them I met
this really rad girl.

512
00:25:20,150 --> 00:25:21,881
Why haven't you told
your mom about me?

513
00:25:21,883 --> 00:25:24,348
Don't you talk to her
like 21 times a day?

514
00:25:24,350 --> 00:25:26,948
- Are you ashamed of me?
- No.

515
00:25:26,950 --> 00:25:29,048
You're ashamed of me.

516
00:25:29,050 --> 00:25:31,248
- They're just...
- Gimme that.

517
00:25:31,250 --> 00:25:33,248
They're just really
into our culture.

518
00:25:33,250 --> 00:25:36,048
I have to ease them into this.

519
00:25:36,050 --> 00:25:38,048
I made something for you.

520
00:25:38,050 --> 00:25:39,714
- What?
- Come see.

521
00:25:39,716 --> 00:25:41,182
I'm way too high
to walk right now.

522
00:25:41,184 --> 00:25:43,742
Come on, take the chips.

523
00:25:47,783 --> 00:25:49,348
Wow.

524
00:25:49,350 --> 00:25:52,015
That is some romantic shit.

525
00:25:52,017 --> 00:25:54,382
It's Saddam Hussein
and Andy Warhol kissing.

526
00:25:54,384 --> 00:25:56,107
I noticed.

527
00:25:57,217 --> 00:26:00,048
- Hey.
- Mm.

528
00:26:00,050 --> 00:26:02,109
Let's move in together.

529
00:26:03,817 --> 00:26:06,048
- Really?
- Yeah.

530
00:26:06,050 --> 00:26:09,115
- For real?
- Yup.

531
00:26:09,117 --> 00:26:10,681
It's not too soon?

532
00:26:10,683 --> 00:26:11,943
No.

533
00:26:13,284 --> 00:26:15,382
Let's do it.

534
00:26:15,384 --> 00:26:18,015
But we can't live here.

535
00:26:18,017 --> 00:26:19,048
Why?

536
00:26:19,050 --> 00:26:22,374
Your bathroom's outside.

537
00:26:28,084 --> 00:26:31,382
Would you feel oppressed
if I asked you to do the dishes?

538
00:26:31,384 --> 00:26:34,842
Yes, I would feel
very oppressed.

539
00:26:39,650 --> 00:26:40,948
Would you feel oppressed

540
00:26:40,950 --> 00:26:42,714
if I asked you
to take out the garbage?

541
00:26:42,716 --> 00:26:47,648
Super-oppressive.
Wouldn't be able to handle it.

542
00:26:47,650 --> 00:26:49,143
Thought so.

543
00:26:54,650 --> 00:26:57,348
What if I locked you up,

544
00:26:57,350 --> 00:26:59,176
tied you to the bed
and impregnated you?

545
00:27:00,917 --> 00:27:03,276
That wouldn't be so bad.
I can do that.

546
00:27:08,284 --> 00:27:09,382
I love you.

547
00:27:09,384 --> 00:27:10,909
I love you.

548
00:27:30,817 --> 00:27:34,248
- Let's do it again.
- We already did it twice.

549
00:27:34,250 --> 00:27:37,282
Should I sing the song?

550
00:27:37,284 --> 00:27:38,315
Yes.

551
00:27:38,317 --> 00:27:40,348
Wig or no wig?

552
00:27:40,350 --> 00:27:42,215
With the wig.

553
00:27:42,217 --> 00:27:46,443
♪ Whispers in the morning ♪

554
00:27:50,983 --> 00:27:52,382
- Oh, it's my mom.
- Oh, okay.

555
00:27:52,384 --> 00:27:54,148
- No, I have to get it.
- No, stay down here.

556
00:27:54,150 --> 00:27:55,948
I didn't answer the first.
She'll freak out.

557
00:27:55,950 --> 00:27:58,248
Are you kidding?

558
00:27:58,250 --> 00:27:59,981
- Video?
- Please hide, please.

559
00:27:59,983 --> 00:28:01,348
Hide where?

560
00:28:01,350 --> 00:28:02,915
Hi, Mom.

561
00:28:02,917 --> 00:28:04,848
- <i>Hello.</i>
- Hi.

562
00:28:04,850 --> 00:28:06,848
- <i>Can you see me?</i>
- Yup, I see you, Mom.

563
00:28:06,850 --> 00:28:09,915
<i>Good. Now, do you
remember Fariba?</i>

564
00:28:09,917 --> 00:28:11,981
- Uh-huh.
- <i>Do you remember her son?</i>

565
00:28:11,983 --> 00:28:15,848
- Yeah, sure.
- <i>He has invited you to dinner.</i>

566
00:28:15,850 --> 00:28:18,082
<i>What's that?
Is that a naked man?</i>

567
00:28:18,084 --> 00:28:20,282
- Babe!
- <i>Oh, my God.</i>

568
00:28:20,284 --> 00:28:22,815
- Oh, did she see me?
- <i>Is he naked?</i>

569
00:28:22,817 --> 00:28:25,781
<i>What's a naked man
doing in your room?</i>

570
00:28:25,783 --> 00:28:27,815
At least now she knows.

571
00:28:27,817 --> 00:28:29,909
<i>Nousha! Nousha!</i>

572
00:28:31,783 --> 00:28:34,709
I'm so excited
to finally meet your family.

573
00:28:36,317 --> 00:28:39,215
Just don't say anything.

574
00:28:39,217 --> 00:28:42,981
You know, like if they
ask you something, eat.

575
00:28:42,983 --> 00:28:44,981
- I have to reply.
- No, you don't.

576
00:28:44,983 --> 00:28:48,215
No, just put something
in your mouth and chew.

577
00:28:48,217 --> 00:28:51,143
You got this. We got this.

578
00:28:55,684 --> 00:29:00,684
Translation and subtitles by
PEPPER & LALASPAIN
*** SONG LIVES FOR EVER ***

579
00:29:04,983 --> 00:29:06,348
This is amazing.

580
00:29:06,350 --> 00:29:08,315
Thank you so much
for having me over.

581
00:29:08,317 --> 00:29:10,148
Of course.

582
00:29:10,150 --> 00:29:12,848
You're so welcome.

583
00:29:12,850 --> 00:29:15,043
So far, so good.

584
00:29:16,783 --> 00:29:19,915
Nousha tells us
you're a musical engineer.

585
00:29:19,917 --> 00:29:21,842
Did she?

586
00:29:23,683 --> 00:29:26,315
Yeah, kinda.

587
00:29:26,317 --> 00:29:30,009
Actually, I'm engineer too.

588
00:29:31,750 --> 00:29:33,981
- Really?
- Civil engineer.

589
00:29:33,983 --> 00:29:35,248
Cool.

590
00:29:35,250 --> 00:29:36,714
Did you go to Harvard?

591
00:29:36,716 --> 00:29:39,781
Mother, not everyone
goes to Harvard.

592
00:29:39,783 --> 00:29:41,115
Oxford?

593
00:29:41,117 --> 00:29:43,282
No, wait, LSE,

594
00:29:43,284 --> 00:29:44,415
the London School of Economics.

595
00:29:44,417 --> 00:29:47,182
Nope, none of the above.

596
00:29:47,184 --> 00:29:48,709
Princeton?

597
00:29:57,350 --> 00:30:00,748
You know, I'm sorry,
I didn't go to Harvard,

598
00:30:00,750 --> 00:30:03,681
and I'm not an engineer.

599
00:30:03,683 --> 00:30:07,415
Um, I went to
Goddard College in Vermont.

600
00:30:07,417 --> 00:30:09,182
No?

601
00:30:09,184 --> 00:30:11,215
Okay.

602
00:30:11,217 --> 00:30:14,315
I'm an artist,
and a I'm a deejay,

603
00:30:14,317 --> 00:30:17,648
and I love your daughter
very much.

604
00:30:17,650 --> 00:30:21,714
In fact, the best part of my day

605
00:30:21,716 --> 00:30:23,443
is waking up together.

606
00:30:25,716 --> 00:30:28,443
Excuse me? Um...

607
00:30:29,917 --> 00:30:34,215
What do you mean,
waking up together?

608
00:30:34,217 --> 00:30:37,943
You mean you are
living together?

609
00:30:42,817 --> 00:30:45,282
Mm.

610
00:30:45,284 --> 00:30:47,109
So good.

611
00:30:49,250 --> 00:30:52,709
I need some fresh air.

612
00:31:02,284 --> 00:31:04,248
Can I talk to you for a second?

613
00:31:04,250 --> 00:31:06,182
How could you not tell them
anything about me?

614
00:31:06,184 --> 00:31:07,948
I don't know. It never came up.

615
00:31:07,950 --> 00:31:10,681
That's insane. How could you
put me in that position?

616
00:31:10,683 --> 00:31:11,915
I wanted to hold off
putting you through this

617
00:31:11,917 --> 00:31:13,382
for as long as possible.

618
00:31:13,384 --> 00:31:15,215
- What do you mean?
- Let me break it down for you.

619
00:31:15,217 --> 00:31:18,115
First, my dad is going to
get angry and brokenhearted,

620
00:31:18,117 --> 00:31:21,115
and then my mom is going to try
to pressure us to get married,

621
00:31:21,117 --> 00:31:23,215
and when we say no,
she's going to freak out

622
00:31:23,217 --> 00:31:24,415
because I'm her only chance

623
00:31:24,417 --> 00:31:25,981
at throwing a lavish
Persian wedding

624
00:31:25,983 --> 00:31:27,815
in front of all of
her family and friends.

625
00:31:27,817 --> 00:31:30,815
- Oh, Christ.
- Look, just stay strong.

626
00:31:30,817 --> 00:31:32,781
Okay? Don't give in.

627
00:31:32,783 --> 00:31:34,182
- Drink your tea.
- Drink my tea.

628
00:31:34,184 --> 00:31:35,348
- Drink your tea.
- Drink my tea.

629
00:31:35,350 --> 00:31:37,815
- Drink your tea.
- Drink my tea.

630
00:31:37,817 --> 00:31:40,648
So you are living together?

631
00:31:40,650 --> 00:31:42,115
Then you need to get married.

632
00:31:42,117 --> 00:31:44,348
We wanna try
just living together first.

633
00:31:44,350 --> 00:31:47,714
If you want to live together,
you have to first get married.

634
00:31:47,716 --> 00:31:49,415
She's so right.

635
00:31:49,417 --> 00:31:51,148
We need more time.

636
00:31:51,150 --> 00:31:54,074
We're still getting
to know each other.

637
00:32:00,783 --> 00:32:03,415
If you really
get to know each other,

638
00:32:03,417 --> 00:32:05,348
you'll never get married. Never.

639
00:32:05,350 --> 00:32:08,182
I knew your father
for one day only.

640
00:32:08,184 --> 00:32:11,015
You get to know each other
after the wedding.

641
00:32:11,017 --> 00:32:12,215
Wedding?

642
00:32:12,217 --> 00:32:15,148
Yes, wedding.

643
00:32:15,150 --> 00:32:17,382
That's how people marry.
They have weddings.

644
00:32:17,384 --> 00:32:20,748
We don't want to get married.

645
00:32:20,750 --> 00:32:23,282
And even if we did,
we don't want a wedding.

646
00:32:23,284 --> 00:32:24,815
Why not?

647
00:32:24,817 --> 00:32:28,681
No wedding, no marriage,
no living together.

648
00:32:28,683 --> 00:32:30,182
It's a package, you see?

649
00:32:30,184 --> 00:32:33,048
What about if we registered
as domestic partners?

650
00:32:33,050 --> 00:32:34,714
What is a domestic partner?

651
00:32:34,716 --> 00:32:36,781
It's an alternative
for those who want

652
00:32:36,783 --> 00:32:39,082
the protection and the benefits
of a partnership,

653
00:32:39,084 --> 00:32:42,648
but don't wanna enter into
the institution of marriage.

654
00:32:42,650 --> 00:32:44,382
Marriage is not an institution.

655
00:32:44,384 --> 00:32:46,248
Marriage is marriage.

656
00:32:46,250 --> 00:32:48,148
People marry to have baby.

657
00:32:48,150 --> 00:32:49,915
- Babies.
- Babies.

658
00:32:49,917 --> 00:32:51,115
- That is so...
- Oppressive.

659
00:32:51,117 --> 00:32:52,241
Thank you.

660
00:33:00,417 --> 00:33:02,781
Mamani, you're not gonna die.

661
00:33:02,783 --> 00:33:05,015
- Oh, yes, I will.
- She might.

662
00:33:05,017 --> 00:33:07,981
Actually, Ziba,
it's time for my shot.

663
00:33:07,983 --> 00:33:09,648
Oh, of course.

664
00:33:09,650 --> 00:33:12,776
I'm so sorry, Mamani.
I'm coming.

665
00:33:15,050 --> 00:33:16,815
Reza.

666
00:33:16,817 --> 00:33:18,215
Alex.

667
00:33:18,217 --> 00:33:19,276
Oh, yeah.

668
00:33:25,817 --> 00:33:27,343
It's done.

669
00:33:29,350 --> 00:33:31,881
I promise you,
we're gonna keep it simple.

670
00:33:31,883 --> 00:33:33,948
Something small in the backyard.

671
00:33:33,950 --> 00:33:35,648
We can do it next month,

672
00:33:35,650 --> 00:33:37,415
when your uncle visits
from Iran.

673
00:33:37,417 --> 00:33:39,215
- Next month?
- Yes.

674
00:33:39,217 --> 00:33:41,282
If they ever let him
in this country,

675
00:33:41,284 --> 00:33:43,015
he can only stay for 10 days.

676
00:33:43,017 --> 00:33:45,282
Don't you wanna do it
for Mamani?

677
00:33:45,284 --> 00:33:46,948
She's been so sad
since Baba died.

678
00:33:46,950 --> 00:33:51,076
Mommy, Baba died 25 years ago.

679
00:33:52,950 --> 00:33:54,881
- Alex.
- Sir?

680
00:33:54,883 --> 00:33:57,809
Don't you wanna
marry my daughter?

681
00:34:02,017 --> 00:34:03,215
Of course.

682
00:34:03,217 --> 00:34:04,248
Done!

683
00:34:04,250 --> 00:34:06,315
I'm calling everyone.

684
00:34:06,317 --> 00:34:09,048
- Oh, my God!
- Congratulations!

685
00:34:09,050 --> 00:34:10,915
Welcome to the family, Alex.

686
00:34:10,917 --> 00:34:12,276
Here's to the family.

687
00:34:13,217 --> 00:34:15,182
Sweetheart, congratulations.

688
00:34:15,184 --> 00:34:17,109
Oh, congratulations.

689
00:34:20,950 --> 00:34:23,182
Congratulations.

690
00:34:23,184 --> 00:34:24,709
Thank you.

691
00:34:29,050 --> 00:34:31,410
What just happened?

692
00:34:32,983 --> 00:34:35,276
I don't know.

693
00:34:37,817 --> 00:34:40,948
You were supposed to
just drink your tea.

694
00:34:40,950 --> 00:34:43,310
They were so convincing.

695
00:34:47,883 --> 00:34:49,943
Do I propose or do you?

696
00:35:15,750 --> 00:35:17,315
It's so great
that you're all here,

697
00:35:17,317 --> 00:35:18,748
and we're all together.

698
00:35:18,750 --> 00:35:20,015
It's really awesome.

699
00:35:20,017 --> 00:35:22,215
We've heard so much
about you guys.

700
00:35:22,217 --> 00:35:24,981
I'm so happy to finally
meet all of you.

701
00:35:24,983 --> 00:35:26,415
No, we're the happy ones.

702
00:35:26,417 --> 00:35:28,681
Your daughter is
absolutely lovely.

703
00:35:28,683 --> 00:35:29,941
I agree!

704
00:35:31,050 --> 00:35:33,115
- Cheers.
- Cheers.

705
00:35:33,117 --> 00:35:35,148
Cheers.

706
00:35:35,150 --> 00:35:37,343
What is that? That's lovely.

707
00:35:40,184 --> 00:35:42,048
That's a poem

708
00:35:42,050 --> 00:35:45,915
by the 14th century
Persian poet, Hafez.

709
00:35:45,917 --> 00:35:47,881
Greatest poet of all time.

710
00:35:47,883 --> 00:35:51,376
It says...

711
00:35:54,350 --> 00:35:56,714
"Long live love,

712
00:35:56,716 --> 00:36:01,048
for I have not heard
a more merrier word than love."

713
00:36:01,050 --> 00:36:03,415
- That's beautiful.
- It's beautiful.

714
00:36:03,417 --> 00:36:05,815
I had a friend from Riyadh once,

715
00:36:05,817 --> 00:36:08,915
and it's such a pity how
complicated it is over there.

716
00:36:08,917 --> 00:36:12,182
Oh, with all due respect,
actually we are not from Riyadh.

717
00:36:12,184 --> 00:36:14,215
We are from Tehran.

718
00:36:14,217 --> 00:36:16,248
Oh, right.

719
00:36:16,250 --> 00:36:17,848
And just so you know,

720
00:36:17,850 --> 00:36:21,981
no region with oil
will have peace.

721
00:36:21,983 --> 00:36:26,115
And our stellar foreign policy
doesn't help either.

722
00:36:26,117 --> 00:36:29,082
Oh, well you're such
a political expert, Steven,

723
00:36:29,084 --> 00:36:32,215
that the next time you go
to the Middle East...

724
00:36:32,217 --> 00:36:34,315
and you may not come back
because we know what they do

725
00:36:34,317 --> 00:36:37,714
to people like you over there...

726
00:36:37,716 --> 00:36:39,015
well, I wouldn't care so much.

727
00:36:39,017 --> 00:36:40,382
Go, Team Talbot.

728
00:36:40,384 --> 00:36:42,681
Mamani, could you
pass the baklava?

729
00:36:42,683 --> 00:36:43,881
Thank you so much.

730
00:36:43,883 --> 00:36:46,881
How old was Alex
when you divorced?

731
00:36:46,883 --> 00:36:51,082
When we split, Alex was 16.

732
00:36:51,084 --> 00:36:53,009
Oh.

733
00:36:54,783 --> 00:36:57,382
And when did you
get remarried to...

734
00:36:57,384 --> 00:36:59,781
- Steven.
- I'm Steven.

735
00:36:59,783 --> 00:37:01,182
Not long after.

736
00:37:01,184 --> 00:37:02,781
Right.

737
00:37:02,783 --> 00:37:05,848
How soon after?

738
00:37:05,850 --> 00:37:09,215
I mean, did you meet Steven
and realized you were gay,

739
00:37:09,217 --> 00:37:12,848
then get separated and get
together with him and marry him,

740
00:37:12,850 --> 00:37:14,981
or were you feeling
unfulfilled with Maggie

741
00:37:14,983 --> 00:37:16,815
and get separated
and get to meet him

742
00:37:16,817 --> 00:37:19,282
and then you realize
you were gay?

743
00:37:19,284 --> 00:37:20,881
Wow.

744
00:37:20,883 --> 00:37:22,815
Mom, doesn't matter.

745
00:37:22,817 --> 00:37:26,681
I'm just trying to understand
how it all happens in general.

746
00:37:26,683 --> 00:37:29,248
There was overlap.

747
00:37:29,250 --> 00:37:30,815
But you knew.

748
00:37:30,817 --> 00:37:33,082
I mean, as a woman,
you must have known.

749
00:37:33,084 --> 00:37:36,248
And also, were you friends
with Steven

750
00:37:36,250 --> 00:37:39,815
when your husband met him,

751
00:37:39,817 --> 00:37:43,282
or you became friends
afterwards?

752
00:37:43,284 --> 00:37:44,709
Papa...

753
00:37:47,750 --> 00:37:50,109
I was never his friend.

754
00:37:51,317 --> 00:37:53,343
Excuse me.

755
00:37:54,750 --> 00:37:55,909
I'm sorry.

756
00:38:02,217 --> 00:38:03,276
I'll go.

757
00:38:07,317 --> 00:38:09,282
Maggie?

758
00:38:09,284 --> 00:38:10,881
I'm sorry.

759
00:38:10,883 --> 00:38:13,048
My mom can be a little pushy.

760
00:38:13,050 --> 00:38:15,781
They're just not used
to all this.

761
00:38:15,783 --> 00:38:17,115
It's not your fault.

762
00:38:17,117 --> 00:38:19,881
It's everything. It's my life.

763
00:38:19,883 --> 00:38:23,082
I never imagined I'd be single
at my son's wedding.

764
00:38:23,084 --> 00:38:25,310
Well, you're doing great.

765
00:38:27,317 --> 00:38:29,748
I'm coming in.

766
00:38:29,750 --> 00:38:31,876
Ohh...

767
00:38:40,817 --> 00:38:43,048
I'm so alone.

768
00:38:43,050 --> 00:38:46,143
No, you're not. You have us now.

769
00:38:47,417 --> 00:38:51,115
I wasted my youth
on a homosexual.

770
00:38:51,117 --> 00:38:52,915
Yeah, but that was the past.

771
00:38:52,917 --> 00:38:56,648
You still have your whole
future ahead of you.

772
00:38:56,650 --> 00:38:59,310
I'll never find true love.

773
00:39:01,017 --> 00:39:03,781
You know what Hafez says:

774
00:39:03,783 --> 00:39:07,508
"Love finds you
when you least expect it."

775
00:39:10,817 --> 00:39:12,815
How's it going out there?

776
00:39:12,817 --> 00:39:15,648
Well, Ziba's getting Steven

777
00:39:15,650 --> 00:39:17,282
the chandelier tour
of the house,

778
00:39:17,284 --> 00:39:20,948
and our fathers are debating
whether or not sodomy is a sin.

779
00:39:20,950 --> 00:39:23,182
Oh, God.

780
00:39:23,184 --> 00:39:26,476
Well, little do they know
we are already in hell.

781
00:39:31,750 --> 00:39:33,015
- Hairbrush.
- Check.

782
00:39:33,017 --> 00:39:34,815
- Computer.
- Check.

783
00:39:34,817 --> 00:39:36,215
- Toothbrush.
- Check.

784
00:39:36,217 --> 00:39:37,681
What do you think?

785
00:39:37,683 --> 00:39:39,781
Oh, I think that
looks like ice cream.

786
00:39:39,783 --> 00:39:41,182
- It's really bad, isn't it?
- Yeah.

787
00:39:41,184 --> 00:39:43,248
- When did she get that for you?
- When I was 12.

788
00:39:43,250 --> 00:39:44,348
- Oh, baby.
- Please hold me.

789
00:39:44,350 --> 00:39:45,976
I'll hold you.

790
00:39:47,184 --> 00:39:49,243
All right, we gotta go.
We gotta go.

791
00:39:51,950 --> 00:39:55,315
Okay, so Uncle Saman
is going to take my room.

792
00:39:55,317 --> 00:39:57,182
I am going to be on the couch.

793
00:39:57,184 --> 00:39:58,876
You are going to be
in the guest room.

794
00:40:00,917 --> 00:40:03,048
You need to hire help.

795
00:40:03,050 --> 00:40:05,148
I don't need any help.

796
00:40:05,150 --> 00:40:07,648
Why would I pay someone
when I could do it myself?

797
00:40:07,650 --> 00:40:08,948
I'm an engineer.

798
00:40:08,950 --> 00:40:10,748
Dad?

799
00:40:10,750 --> 00:40:13,148
- Oh, hi.
- Hi.

800
00:40:13,150 --> 00:40:15,015
Whatcha doin'?

801
00:40:15,017 --> 00:40:18,048
I'm building
a Persepolis fountain.

802
00:40:18,050 --> 00:40:22,681
It is going to look exactly
like the Persian ancient ruins.

803
00:40:22,683 --> 00:40:27,148
580 BC, Cyrus the Great.

804
00:40:27,150 --> 00:40:29,781
Oh, boy.

805
00:40:29,783 --> 00:40:32,215
Your mother has invited
half of Orange County.

806
00:40:32,217 --> 00:40:33,915
I have a reputation.

807
00:40:33,917 --> 00:40:36,681
Alex, could you kindly
give me that, please?

808
00:40:36,683 --> 00:40:38,276
- Yeah, sure.
- Thanks.

809
00:40:40,050 --> 00:40:42,082
Why is she so nervous?

810
00:40:42,084 --> 00:40:44,681
It's gonna look good.
I promise you.

811
00:40:44,683 --> 00:40:46,681
Just imagine Persepolis, right?

812
00:40:46,683 --> 00:40:50,248
Okay, we have four columns:
Two big ones, two shorter ones.

813
00:40:50,250 --> 00:40:53,781
One big one over here,
one soldier's guarding it.

814
00:40:53,783 --> 00:40:57,648
Another big one over here,
another soldier's guarding it.

815
00:40:57,650 --> 00:41:00,182
And two shorter columns
here and there.

816
00:41:00,184 --> 00:41:02,981
And also you got two fountains:

817
00:41:02,983 --> 00:41:06,015
One seven inch, one five inch,

818
00:41:06,017 --> 00:41:10,714
each with their own engines,
and then we light it up.

819
00:41:10,716 --> 00:41:12,048
That's cool.

820
00:41:12,050 --> 00:41:13,848
It's gonna look spectacular.

821
00:41:13,850 --> 00:41:15,948
Thank you, Dad.

822
00:41:15,950 --> 00:41:17,443
Now go see your uncle. I'm busy.

823
00:41:18,384 --> 00:41:20,881
Good luck.

824
00:41:20,883 --> 00:41:22,842
- Oh, okay.
- Toodles.

825
00:41:45,084 --> 00:41:47,174
This is my fiance Alex.

826
00:41:50,883 --> 00:41:53,842
Oh, well, it's nice
to meet you too.

827
00:41:56,217 --> 00:41:58,076
No.

828
00:41:59,716 --> 00:42:02,015
- What was that?
- He said he's...

829
00:42:02,017 --> 00:42:05,048
really happy to meet you.

830
00:42:05,050 --> 00:42:07,709
Alex, congratulation.
I hear you're a doctor.

831
00:42:08,850 --> 00:42:10,215
He's actually, a...

832
00:42:10,217 --> 00:42:11,415
- He's an artist.
- Artist.

833
00:42:11,417 --> 00:42:13,148
Yeah, he makes art
out of balloons.

834
00:42:13,150 --> 00:42:15,109
- Oh.
- Yeah.

835
00:42:16,284 --> 00:42:18,048
I didn't follow that.

836
00:42:18,050 --> 00:42:20,348
He's really excited
to meet your family, he said.

837
00:42:20,350 --> 00:42:22,415
- I'm so excited.
- Very excited.

838
00:42:22,417 --> 00:42:24,148
- So excited.
- Very excited.

839
00:42:24,150 --> 00:42:26,382
- So excited.
- So excited.

840
00:42:26,384 --> 00:42:28,748
Really exciting.

841
00:42:28,750 --> 00:42:30,215
Oh, look!

842
00:42:30,217 --> 00:42:32,115
Bougainvilleas and pulmonarias.

843
00:42:32,117 --> 00:42:33,348
Oh, for God's sake.

844
00:42:33,350 --> 00:42:35,815
I used to plant those with Mom!

845
00:42:35,817 --> 00:42:38,215
Would you please just
butch it up a little bit?

846
00:42:38,217 --> 00:42:40,948
- These are Muslims.
- Oh!

847
00:42:40,950 --> 00:42:43,648
- Here comes the wrecking ball.
- Oh, come on.

848
00:42:43,650 --> 00:42:44,981
- Where are you going?
- I have to help her.

849
00:42:44,983 --> 00:42:46,748
Oh, the drama queen
makes an entrance.

850
00:42:46,750 --> 00:42:48,781
Are you gonna be like this
all weekend?

851
00:42:48,783 --> 00:42:50,848
Why do you have to be such
a problem person all the time?

852
00:42:50,850 --> 00:42:53,015
You know what? Since you know
so much about fruit,

853
00:42:53,017 --> 00:42:54,348
why don't you help me
pick 'em up?

854
00:42:54,350 --> 00:42:55,382
Oh, zing, zing, zing!

855
00:42:55,384 --> 00:42:57,115
- Hey!
- Oh.

856
00:42:57,117 --> 00:42:59,215
- We're in the back.
- All right.

857
00:42:59,217 --> 00:43:01,709
- We're not gonna help.
- We're not gonna help.

858
00:43:07,417 --> 00:43:10,382
Sweetheart, you come here.

859
00:43:10,384 --> 00:43:12,915
You stand right here.
Good, okay.

860
00:43:12,917 --> 00:43:14,881
- Maggie.
- Yes.

861
00:43:14,883 --> 00:43:17,415
Come, come, please.

862
00:43:17,417 --> 00:43:19,815
To the left. Bill, to the right.

863
00:43:19,817 --> 00:43:21,848
- Here?
- Let me see.

864
00:43:21,850 --> 00:43:23,315
Perfect.

865
00:43:23,317 --> 00:43:25,015
The groom will walk first,

866
00:43:25,017 --> 00:43:27,315
presented by the mother
and the father.

867
00:43:27,317 --> 00:43:29,848
Actually, no.

868
00:43:29,850 --> 00:43:31,215
Come here.

869
00:43:31,217 --> 00:43:34,348
I really wanna walk down
the aisle with Steven.

870
00:43:34,350 --> 00:43:36,215
But Steven is not the mother.

871
00:43:36,217 --> 00:43:38,048
No, but he is my husband.

872
00:43:38,050 --> 00:43:39,848
It's gonna be complicated.

873
00:43:39,850 --> 00:43:41,881
Then who will she walk with?

874
00:43:41,883 --> 00:43:43,315
Does she even have to walk?

875
00:43:43,317 --> 00:43:45,182
Well, if it were up to you,
I'd be crawling.

876
00:43:45,184 --> 00:43:46,981
- What a good idea.
- You're not the mother.

877
00:43:46,983 --> 00:43:48,415
Please, please! Guys, look.

878
00:43:48,417 --> 00:43:51,048
How about the three of you
walk together?

879
00:43:51,050 --> 00:43:54,048
Then four of them together,
walking down the aisle.

880
00:43:54,050 --> 00:43:56,748
It's going to look ridiculous.

881
00:43:56,750 --> 00:43:58,981
That's exactly
what I want this to be.

882
00:43:58,983 --> 00:44:01,714
There is no way my mother's
gonna let Steven walk.

883
00:44:01,716 --> 00:44:02,981
You have to talk to your father.

884
00:44:02,983 --> 00:44:04,348
Why are you taking her side?

885
00:44:04,350 --> 00:44:05,748
Steven might not even care.

886
00:44:05,750 --> 00:44:08,248
My dad cares. You heard him.

887
00:44:08,250 --> 00:44:09,948
It is 30 yards.

888
00:44:09,950 --> 00:44:11,809
Make it happen.

889
00:44:13,950 --> 00:44:16,107
Make it happen?

890
00:44:17,917 --> 00:44:22,915
Why doesn't she walk
with Saman, my brother?

891
00:44:22,917 --> 00:44:25,048
Saman!

892
00:44:25,050 --> 00:44:26,109
Saman.

893
00:44:28,084 --> 00:44:30,714
Talbots, this is
my little brother from Iran.

894
00:44:30,716 --> 00:44:33,714
Oh, hey, I'm Bill.
I'm Alex's dad.

895
00:44:33,716 --> 00:44:35,215
Oh, hi, I'm Saman.

896
00:44:35,217 --> 00:44:37,248
Oh, can I call you Sam?

897
00:44:37,250 --> 00:44:38,315
Saman.

898
00:44:38,317 --> 00:44:39,348
Saman.

899
00:44:39,350 --> 00:44:41,182
Steven. I'm his husband.

900
00:44:41,184 --> 00:44:43,315
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.

901
00:44:43,317 --> 00:44:45,282
A visitor from the orient.

902
00:44:45,284 --> 00:44:46,348
I'm Maggie Baker.

903
00:44:46,350 --> 00:44:47,382
Hello, Maggie Baker.

904
00:44:47,384 --> 00:44:49,115
I am Saman.

905
00:44:49,117 --> 00:44:53,082
Perfect. So the two of you
will walk together first,

906
00:44:53,084 --> 00:44:55,315
and then Steven, Bill, Alex,

907
00:44:55,317 --> 00:44:59,282
and then me and Reza
and my daughter.

908
00:44:59,284 --> 00:45:01,215
- Are you okay with this?
- Absolutely. Compromise.

909
00:45:01,217 --> 00:45:02,348
Shall we, Maggie Baker?

910
00:45:02,350 --> 00:45:04,348
Yes, thank you, Saman.

911
00:45:04,350 --> 00:45:06,248
- Thank you.
- So what does Saman mean?

912
00:45:06,250 --> 00:45:09,648
Saman means, "One who climbs
the mountain for the life."

913
00:45:09,650 --> 00:45:11,981
- I love that!
- Yes.

914
00:45:11,983 --> 00:45:15,007
This is the traditional part
of the wedding.

915
00:45:34,650 --> 00:45:35,776
How beautiful.

916
00:45:39,250 --> 00:45:40,310
Kiss it.

917
00:45:43,250 --> 00:45:44,415
Cool.

918
00:45:44,417 --> 00:45:45,681
Am I Muslim now?

919
00:45:45,683 --> 00:45:46,714
No.

920
00:45:46,716 --> 00:45:48,015
Sort of.

921
00:45:48,017 --> 00:45:49,348
- Can I have a Muslim name?
- Sure.

922
00:45:49,350 --> 00:45:51,815
What would you like
your Muslim name to be?

923
00:45:51,817 --> 00:45:54,376
Uh... Mohammed?

925
00:45:57,050 --> 00:45:58,915
Okay, sure.

926
00:45:58,917 --> 00:46:00,182
Mohammed.

927
00:46:00,184 --> 00:46:02,182
Well, that was interesting.

928
00:46:02,184 --> 00:46:04,243
Are you serious?

929
00:46:08,384 --> 00:46:10,443
I'm getting a Quran.

930
00:46:14,417 --> 00:46:16,182
Hey, Saman.

931
00:46:16,184 --> 00:46:19,748
Oh, hey, Maggie Baker.

932
00:46:19,750 --> 00:46:21,215
I hope I didn't scare you.

933
00:46:21,217 --> 00:46:23,648
Oh, no, no. I don't get scared.

934
00:46:23,650 --> 00:46:25,315
I've killed men
with my bare hands.

935
00:46:25,317 --> 00:46:27,115
Ooh.

936
00:46:27,117 --> 00:46:29,714
Well, I just came out
to have another drink

937
00:46:29,716 --> 00:46:31,315
before I hit the road, you know?

938
00:46:31,317 --> 00:46:32,881
You don't drink, do you?

939
00:46:32,883 --> 00:46:35,048
- Sure, I do.
- You do?

940
00:46:35,050 --> 00:46:36,415
On special occasions.

941
00:46:36,417 --> 00:46:38,714
Well, I'd say this
is pretty special.

942
00:46:38,716 --> 00:46:39,714
Oh, yeah.

943
00:46:39,716 --> 00:46:41,876
Oh, thank you.

944
00:46:44,250 --> 00:46:46,310
Ooh, tequila.

945
00:46:49,184 --> 00:46:53,948
So why have you not remarried?

946
00:46:53,950 --> 00:46:55,948
I just didn't wanna
make another mistake.

947
00:46:55,950 --> 00:46:57,748
And you? Divorced?

948
00:46:57,750 --> 00:47:00,815
Oh, no, no.
I've never been married.

949
00:47:00,817 --> 00:47:03,815
See, I have no gaydar. I just...

950
00:47:03,817 --> 00:47:05,815
Oh, no, no, no, no.

951
00:47:05,817 --> 00:47:08,348
I just never found
the right woman.

952
00:47:08,350 --> 00:47:09,915
You're very funny.

953
00:47:09,917 --> 00:47:14,210
Oh, uh... Well, that's so sad.

955
00:47:16,883 --> 00:47:19,742
Yeah, I have no one
to go back to.

956
00:47:22,317 --> 00:47:25,681
Well, then maybe
you should stay here.

957
00:47:25,683 --> 00:47:27,176
Oh.

958
00:47:29,750 --> 00:47:31,410
Maybe I should.

959
00:47:38,050 --> 00:47:39,310
Sorry.

960
00:47:44,284 --> 00:47:46,182
- Okay.
- Sorry about that.

961
00:47:46,184 --> 00:47:47,709
Don't be sorry.

962
00:47:49,683 --> 00:47:51,315
Oh, thank you.

963
00:47:51,317 --> 00:47:53,781
Oh, my gosh.

964
00:47:53,783 --> 00:47:55,748
Don't you kiss twice
in your country?

965
00:47:55,750 --> 00:47:57,714
- Oh, yes, yes, you're right.
- It's like...

966
00:47:57,716 --> 00:47:59,215
- And mwah.
- Right, exactly.

967
00:47:59,217 --> 00:48:02,282
Wow. That was very unexpected.

968
00:48:02,284 --> 00:48:04,881
Like in America,
we just don't even bother.

969
00:48:04,883 --> 00:48:07,282
We just go straight
to the main kiss.

970
00:48:07,284 --> 00:48:09,781
Well, okay, then let's...

971
00:48:09,783 --> 00:48:12,681
- Oh, wow.
- Wow.

972
00:48:12,683 --> 00:48:13,807
Maggie Baker.

973
00:48:16,716 --> 00:48:18,776
- Can I have another?
- Oh, sure.

974
00:49:07,317 --> 00:49:08,382
Ziba.

975
00:49:08,384 --> 00:49:10,215
Hi.

976
00:49:10,217 --> 00:49:12,315
I think we both should
relax a little bit.

977
00:49:12,317 --> 00:49:15,781
No. Our entire family,
all of our friends.

978
00:49:15,783 --> 00:49:19,082
How am I supposed to relax?
Half of Orange County is coming.

979
00:49:19,084 --> 00:49:20,415
Don't stress so much.

980
00:49:20,417 --> 00:49:22,748
It's gonna be all right.
I'm here.

981
00:49:22,750 --> 00:49:25,881
As it wasn't bad enough that
she's marrying a poor artist.

982
00:49:25,883 --> 00:49:27,182
Ziba.

983
00:49:27,184 --> 00:49:29,382
How is he going to
take care of her?

984
00:49:29,384 --> 00:49:34,048
He has no job.
How is he going to provide?

985
00:49:34,050 --> 00:49:36,681
And that family? Oh, my God.

986
00:49:36,683 --> 00:49:38,648
Too late. They were already
living together.

987
00:49:38,650 --> 00:49:41,681
At least she's finally
getting married.

988
00:49:41,683 --> 00:49:43,015
Let's go to bed.

989
00:49:43,017 --> 00:49:45,082
What about the fountain?
Did you fix it?

990
00:49:45,084 --> 00:49:47,182
It's done. Almost done.

991
00:49:47,184 --> 00:49:49,648
I'm an engineer.

992
00:49:49,650 --> 00:49:51,115
Let's have a second honeymoon.

993
00:49:51,117 --> 00:49:53,415
- First, take a shower.
- Okay.

994
00:49:53,417 --> 00:49:55,781
It'd be even better
than our first one.

995
00:49:55,783 --> 00:49:57,742
Paris, 1975.

996
00:50:35,950 --> 00:50:37,948
Are you gonna leave me one day?

997
00:50:37,950 --> 00:50:39,348
Why?

998
00:50:39,350 --> 00:50:40,948
Do you think our families
are too different?

999
00:50:40,950 --> 00:50:42,182
No.

1000
00:50:42,184 --> 00:50:44,382
Is this all just
an experiment to you?

1001
00:50:44,384 --> 00:50:50,348
Okay, I'm doing...
all of this...

1003
00:50:50,350 --> 00:50:52,348
because I love you.

1004
00:50:52,350 --> 00:50:55,981
I just don't know if
you're taking it seriously.

1005
00:50:55,983 --> 00:50:58,815
- I mean Mohammed, really?
- What? It's rad.

1006
00:50:58,817 --> 00:51:00,215
I just don't think
you understand

1007
00:51:00,217 --> 00:51:02,315
how serious marriage is
in my culture.

1008
00:51:02,317 --> 00:51:04,115
It is forever.

1009
00:51:04,117 --> 00:51:06,148
There is not one single divorce
in my family.

1010
00:51:06,150 --> 00:51:08,415
Okay, I thought that I was
gonna become part of the tribe,

1011
00:51:08,417 --> 00:51:10,082
and we'd be stifled
and oppressed together.

1012
00:51:10,084 --> 00:51:12,148
Is that not what's happening?

1013
00:51:12,150 --> 00:51:14,915
We've only known each other
for five months.

1014
00:51:14,917 --> 00:51:16,948
Six, actually.

1015
00:51:16,950 --> 00:51:19,282
We haven't even done
the 36 questions.

1016
00:51:19,284 --> 00:51:21,082
I feel like we have done that.

1017
00:51:21,084 --> 00:51:22,382
Oh, my God,
we don't know each other.

1018
00:51:22,384 --> 00:51:23,981
Like more than once.

1019
00:51:23,983 --> 00:51:25,215
What's my most treasured
childhood memory?

1020
00:51:25,217 --> 00:51:27,115
- Spring break, senior year.
- Wrong.

1021
00:51:27,117 --> 00:51:28,815
It's when I won the spelling bee
in third grade.

1022
00:51:28,817 --> 00:51:31,881
- I did know that.
- We don't know each other.

1023
00:51:31,883 --> 00:51:34,048
How are you gonna provide
for our children?

1024
00:51:34,050 --> 00:51:36,182
What?

1025
00:51:36,184 --> 00:51:38,015
Okay, wait,
where's this coming from?

1026
00:51:38,017 --> 00:51:41,115
Is this you, or is this Ziba?

1027
00:51:41,117 --> 00:51:44,048
<i>10-4, 10-4.
Alex, can you hear me? Over.</i>

1028
00:51:44,050 --> 00:51:46,248
I promised your uncle I'd help
fix these walkie-talkies

1029
00:51:46,250 --> 00:51:48,210
before the wedding, and they're
still totally broken.

1030
00:51:49,417 --> 00:51:51,048
Come here.

1031
00:51:51,050 --> 00:51:53,714
Hey, hey, hey.

1032
00:51:53,716 --> 00:51:57,048
We're gonna be fine, okay?

1033
00:51:57,050 --> 00:51:59,382
Just 30 yards, right?

1034
00:51:59,384 --> 00:52:00,648
I love you.

1035
00:52:00,650 --> 00:52:02,115
<i>Alex, 10-4. Where are you?</i>

1036
00:52:02,117 --> 00:52:03,848
- I'll see you tomorrow.
- <i>Can you hear me?</i>

1037
00:52:03,850 --> 00:52:04,915
Yeah.

1038
00:52:04,917 --> 00:52:06,015
See you tomorrow.

1039
00:52:06,017 --> 00:52:07,210
Babe...

1040
00:52:54,350 --> 00:52:56,474
Nousha, hold your breath.

1041
00:52:57,350 --> 00:52:58,415
- Ouch.
- Ow!

1042
00:52:58,417 --> 00:53:00,374
Shh!

1043
00:53:02,750 --> 00:53:04,714
Hi, hi.

1044
00:53:04,716 --> 00:53:06,681
Thank you so much.
I'm so happy to see you.

1045
00:53:06,683 --> 00:53:08,148
Miss Iran 1975, hello.

1046
00:53:08,150 --> 00:53:09,981
You look glamorous as always.

1047
00:53:09,983 --> 00:53:13,115
Oh, stop it. You know,
it's still not too late for me

1048
00:53:13,117 --> 00:53:14,315
to find you two husbands.

1049
00:53:14,317 --> 00:53:15,881
Oh, that'll be great.

1050
00:53:15,883 --> 00:53:17,943
Wow, that would be fantastic.

1051
00:53:39,850 --> 00:53:43,041
<i>Saman...</i>

1052
00:53:53,417 --> 00:53:55,048
There you are, sweetheart.
I can't even bend.

1053
00:53:55,050 --> 00:53:56,881
It has a jacket.

1054
00:53:56,883 --> 00:53:58,382
I think I'm having
a nervous breakdown.

1055
00:53:58,384 --> 00:53:59,981
- No, no.
- No, really.

1056
00:53:59,983 --> 00:54:01,815
There's all these people,
all this fuss.

1057
00:54:01,817 --> 00:54:03,648
I look like it's my quinceanera.

1058
00:54:03,650 --> 00:54:05,781
I don't know.
I don't know if I can do this.

1059
00:54:05,783 --> 00:54:07,943
Honey, it's gonna be fine.

1060
00:54:17,850 --> 00:54:19,848
I think you don't wanna talk
about the things that you did,

1061
00:54:19,850 --> 00:54:22,082
but you're like
an Iranian general,

1062
00:54:22,084 --> 00:54:23,781
and they can't talk about it.

1063
00:54:23,783 --> 00:54:25,410
Thank you, Maggie.
You make me blush.

1064
00:54:28,750 --> 00:54:31,015
Let's start wedding now.
Let's start wedding now!

1065
00:54:31,017 --> 00:54:34,148
Saman, take over
and start wedding now!

1066
00:54:34,150 --> 00:54:36,182
What?

1067
00:54:36,184 --> 00:54:37,948
Cue the wedding song.

1068
00:54:37,950 --> 00:54:39,082
Huh, what?

1069
00:54:39,084 --> 00:54:41,315
Cue the wedding song!

1070
00:54:41,317 --> 00:54:42,315
Oh, yes, yes.

1071
00:54:42,317 --> 00:54:43,376
Music, music.

1072
00:54:56,783 --> 00:54:59,082
Okay.

1073
00:54:59,084 --> 00:55:03,009
They think that they'd have
high tech in the CIA in Iran.

1074
00:55:06,783 --> 00:55:08,182
Oh, Nousha, it's time to go.

1075
00:55:08,184 --> 00:55:09,915
I can't, Dad.
I need to talk to Alex.

1076
00:55:09,917 --> 00:55:12,748
Alex is over there.
It's time to go, Nousha.

1077
00:55:12,750 --> 00:55:13,781
Dad, wait.

1078
00:55:13,783 --> 00:55:15,781
Just cold feet, honey.

1079
00:55:15,783 --> 00:55:18,015
Everyone gets it, even me.

1080
00:55:18,017 --> 00:55:20,915
I love her, she love me.

1081
00:55:20,917 --> 00:55:22,681
Will she make me happy,

1082
00:55:22,683 --> 00:55:24,415
or will she torture me
every day?

1083
00:55:24,417 --> 00:55:28,714
Did I make her happy,
or did I fall into great misery?

1084
00:55:28,716 --> 00:55:31,815
Would I be able to satisfy
her list of demands?

1085
00:55:31,817 --> 00:55:33,976
Stop!

1086
00:55:35,417 --> 00:55:36,815
I have to stop and think.

1087
00:55:36,817 --> 00:55:37,981
You cannot stop, Nousha!

1088
00:55:37,983 --> 00:55:41,148
Dad, I'm not ready.

1089
00:55:41,150 --> 00:55:43,748
I don't know
if I can do this, okay?

1090
00:55:43,750 --> 00:55:45,115
The wedding machine
cannot be stopped.

1091
00:55:45,117 --> 00:55:47,348
Is everything okay?
Nousha, are you okay?

1092
00:55:47,350 --> 00:55:49,781
I can't marry him.

1093
00:55:49,783 --> 00:55:51,115
She's okay, she's okay.

1094
00:55:51,117 --> 00:55:52,115
Reza, let's take her inside.

1095
00:55:52,117 --> 00:55:53,415
No, no, no!

1096
00:55:53,417 --> 00:55:54,915
The wedding machine
cannot be stopped!

1097
00:55:54,917 --> 00:55:56,648
- The wedding must go on.
- We go inside.

1098
00:55:56,650 --> 00:55:58,415
- One tea, she relax.
- What do you mean, tea?

1099
00:55:58,417 --> 00:56:01,048
The groom is waiting!
I spent a lot of money.

1100
00:56:01,050 --> 00:56:04,148
- I failed you! Don't stop!
- Dad!

1101
00:56:04,150 --> 00:56:08,343
I don't want to end up
like his mother!

1102
00:56:11,350 --> 00:56:13,109
Alex.

1103
00:56:31,150 --> 00:56:34,007
Nousha! Nousha!

1104
00:57:25,716 --> 00:57:27,807
Nousha.

1105
00:57:29,150 --> 00:57:30,907
Come on, open up.

1106
00:57:33,983 --> 00:57:36,776
I can literally see you moving.

1107
00:57:40,983 --> 00:57:42,315
We brought Lulu.

1108
00:57:42,317 --> 00:57:43,815
Look, she's here too.

1109
00:57:43,817 --> 00:57:45,714
- She wants to see you.
- Yeah.

1110
00:57:45,716 --> 00:57:48,742
- There's a key under the pot.
- Okay.

1111
00:57:49,917 --> 00:57:52,210
- Yup, look at this.
- Okay.

1112
00:57:54,117 --> 00:57:57,282
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
No, no, no, no.

1113
00:57:57,284 --> 00:57:59,382
- No, no, no.
- We are here to help you.

1114
00:57:59,384 --> 00:58:00,815
- I'm fine.
- You're not fine.

1115
00:58:00,817 --> 00:58:02,115
I don't wanna talk.

1116
00:58:02,117 --> 00:58:04,382
We're taking you
to our healer for sure.

1117
00:58:04,384 --> 00:58:06,748
- Why? I'm fine!
- You look like afterbirth.

1118
00:58:06,750 --> 00:58:08,948
- You smell like caca pants.
- Very, very, very, bad,

1119
00:58:08,950 --> 00:58:10,681
what we're looking at
and smelling right now.

1120
00:58:10,683 --> 00:58:12,415
- I got it.
- What is this?

1121
00:58:12,417 --> 00:58:14,015
Oh, my God, is that cheese?

1122
00:58:14,017 --> 00:58:15,815
You really just smell
of diapers and cheese.

1123
00:58:15,817 --> 00:58:17,876
You smell like
the inside of a person.

1124
00:58:21,050 --> 00:58:23,015
Okay, fine. I get it, I get it.

1125
00:58:23,017 --> 00:58:24,648
Good, good.

1126
00:58:24,650 --> 00:58:26,748
I can't believe
I haven't heard from him.

1127
00:58:26,750 --> 00:58:29,176
He blocked me on Facebook.

1128
00:58:30,650 --> 00:58:32,648
No, he deleted his account.

1129
00:58:32,650 --> 00:58:37,714
What? He would never be
such a social media whore.

1130
00:58:37,716 --> 00:58:39,415
What about Instagram?

1131
00:58:39,417 --> 00:58:40,948
Mm-mm.

1132
00:58:40,950 --> 00:58:42,681
What about Twitter?

1133
00:58:42,683 --> 00:58:44,648
- I mean...
- What about Google Plus?

1134
00:58:44,650 --> 00:58:46,748
Really?

1135
00:58:46,750 --> 00:58:48,648
Can't believe
he broke up with me.

1136
00:58:48,650 --> 00:58:50,681
Well, you did leave him
at the altar

1137
00:58:50,683 --> 00:58:52,943
and turn into a phoenix.

1138
00:58:54,683 --> 00:58:57,115
I don't blame him.

1139
00:58:57,117 --> 00:58:58,848
Okay, come on, let's...
No, no, no, no!

1140
00:58:58,850 --> 00:59:00,981
Let's get dressed,
let's get dressed.

1141
00:59:00,983 --> 00:59:04,709
You don't know yet
who you are or what you want.

1142
00:59:08,050 --> 00:59:11,648
I really want
a cheeseburger right now.

1143
00:59:11,650 --> 00:59:13,282
I know that.

1144
00:59:13,284 --> 00:59:15,148
The emotional freedom technique

1145
00:59:15,150 --> 00:59:18,315
sends calm signals
to your brain,

1146
00:59:18,317 --> 00:59:20,681
so follow me.

1147
00:59:20,683 --> 00:59:23,714
Even though I am heartbroken,

1148
00:59:23,716 --> 00:59:26,781
I fully love and accept myself.

1149
00:59:26,783 --> 00:59:29,043
So now you try it.

1150
00:59:31,084 --> 00:59:36,948
Even though... I'm heartbroken,

1152
00:59:36,950 --> 00:59:40,043
I fully love and accept myself.

1153
00:59:41,750 --> 00:59:46,915
Even though I hurt
the only man I've ever loved,

1154
00:59:46,917 --> 00:59:49,315
I fully love and accept myself.

1155
00:59:49,317 --> 00:59:54,848
Even though I'm probably
gonna die alone,

1156
00:59:54,850 --> 00:59:57,343
I fully love and accept myself.

1157
00:59:58,917 --> 01:00:03,182
Even though I wanna crawl
into a hole and die,

1158
01:00:03,184 --> 01:00:04,648
I love and accept...

1159
01:00:04,650 --> 01:00:06,748
Fully love and accept myself.

1160
01:00:06,750 --> 01:00:10,176
Fully love and accept myself.

1161
01:00:14,350 --> 01:00:15,781
Very good.

1162
01:00:15,783 --> 01:00:17,781
I feel better.

1163
01:00:17,783 --> 01:00:20,282
Wonderful.

1164
01:00:20,284 --> 01:00:21,648
Cash or check?

1165
01:00:21,650 --> 01:00:23,348
Cash only, please.

1166
01:00:23,350 --> 01:00:24,876
Okay.

1167
01:00:30,350 --> 01:00:32,048
Hello?

1168
01:00:32,050 --> 01:00:33,648
<i>Why aren't you calling me back?</i>

1169
01:00:33,650 --> 01:00:35,248
<i>I was just about
to call the police.</i>

1170
01:00:35,250 --> 01:00:37,748
I was going to, Mom.
I was just busy.

1171
01:00:37,750 --> 01:00:40,315
<i>You're not getting any younger.
You need to start dating again.</i>

1172
01:00:40,317 --> 01:00:42,282
It's only been a few weeks, Mom.

1173
01:00:42,284 --> 01:00:45,681
<i>Ali, Fariba's son, heard about
the fireworks at the altar.</i>

1174
01:00:45,683 --> 01:00:47,881
<i>He wants to take you out.</i>

1175
01:00:47,883 --> 01:00:51,210
<i>Nousha, he just finished
dental school too.</i>

1176
01:00:54,683 --> 01:00:57,742
- <i>Nousha?</i>
- Okay, Mom, yeah, set it up.

1177
01:01:06,983 --> 01:01:10,248
From what I hear,
you're a little unconventional.

1178
01:01:10,250 --> 01:01:11,948
That's an understatement.

1179
01:01:11,950 --> 01:01:17,215
Yeah, and I heard you set off
a bomb at your wedding.

1180
01:01:17,217 --> 01:01:21,876
I'm sorry.
I should be more sensitive.

1181
01:01:23,983 --> 01:01:25,115
So what was it like?

1182
01:01:25,117 --> 01:01:27,848
I don't wanna talk about it.

1183
01:01:27,850 --> 01:01:29,748
Sure.

1184
01:01:29,750 --> 01:01:31,048
Nosy, I know.

1185
01:01:31,050 --> 01:01:32,248
Excuse me.

1186
01:01:32,250 --> 01:01:34,115
Can I have some more
alcohol, please?

1187
01:01:34,117 --> 01:01:35,915
They're good, huh?

1188
01:01:35,917 --> 01:01:37,148
I looked the Yelp up.

1189
01:01:37,150 --> 01:01:39,348
It was like top three
martinis in LA.

1190
01:01:39,350 --> 01:01:40,915
The other two were too far.

1191
01:01:40,917 --> 01:01:42,681
It's nice that you
did your research.

1192
01:01:42,683 --> 01:01:43,681
'Course.

1193
01:01:43,683 --> 01:01:44,981
Thank you, Tony.

1194
01:01:44,983 --> 01:01:47,415
Do you make Persian food?

1195
01:01:47,417 --> 01:01:50,282
Chenje, ghormeh sabzi?

1196
01:01:50,284 --> 01:01:54,441
Umm... I'm gonna
take that as a no.

1198
01:01:55,883 --> 01:01:56,915
But cheers.

1199
01:01:56,917 --> 01:01:59,714
- Cheers.
- Cheers.

1200
01:01:59,716 --> 01:02:02,709
- So you're a dentist?
- Mm-hmm.

1201
01:02:05,983 --> 01:02:07,809
Okay.

1202
01:02:10,350 --> 01:02:12,310
- Great.
- Great.

1203
01:02:14,950 --> 01:02:16,915
You're a really nice guy.

1204
01:02:16,917 --> 01:02:19,315
Thanks. So are you.

1205
01:02:19,317 --> 01:02:21,748
Thank you, but I'm not.

1206
01:02:21,750 --> 01:02:23,781
I'm never gonna be
a good Persian wife,

1207
01:02:23,783 --> 01:02:27,781
or a good wife or a good person.

1208
01:02:27,783 --> 01:02:30,215
I think you're great.

1209
01:02:30,217 --> 01:02:32,343
You do?

1210
01:02:39,317 --> 01:02:40,709
Oh.

1211
01:02:45,983 --> 01:02:47,881
Unzip me.

1212
01:02:47,883 --> 01:02:51,248
- This isn't too fast for you?
- No, no, just go for it.

1213
01:02:51,250 --> 01:02:52,376
All right.

1214
01:02:53,317 --> 01:02:55,781
Just... You got it, you got it.

1216
01:02:55,783 --> 01:02:58,043
I'm goin' there,
all right, okay.

1217
01:03:00,850 --> 01:03:01,943
Wow!

1218
01:03:05,783 --> 01:03:09,848
You know, I actually
took this photo of her.

1219
01:03:09,850 --> 01:03:13,148
Yeah, my dream has always
been to marry someone

1220
01:03:13,150 --> 01:03:16,148
as wonderful as my mom.

1221
01:03:16,150 --> 01:03:18,881
And you know,
you remind me of her.

1222
01:03:18,883 --> 01:03:21,714
Do you mind zipping me back up?

1223
01:03:21,716 --> 01:03:24,076
Uh, okay.

1224
01:03:25,716 --> 01:03:26,981
Thank you so much.

1225
01:03:26,983 --> 01:03:31,015
You know, I actually have to go.

1226
01:03:31,017 --> 01:03:34,215
- No!
- Yeah, I have court.

1227
01:03:34,217 --> 01:03:35,282
Tomorrow.

1228
01:03:35,284 --> 01:03:37,115
Bye.

1229
01:03:37,117 --> 01:03:39,043
Bye.

1230
01:03:42,850 --> 01:03:44,776
You were right about her.

1231
01:04:18,883 --> 01:04:21,082
I really wish
you guys were here.

1232
01:04:21,084 --> 01:04:24,015
<i>Yeah, we do too,
but Lulu's not feeling well.</i>

1233
01:04:24,017 --> 01:04:26,282
<i>Sorry.</i>

1234
01:04:26,284 --> 01:04:29,148
I'm just gonna drop off
the toothbrush and then leave.

1235
01:04:29,150 --> 01:04:30,881
- <i>Okay.</i>
- <i>We just want you to know</i>

1236
01:04:30,883 --> 01:04:32,315
<i>that we don't think
this is a good idea.</i>

1237
01:04:32,317 --> 01:04:34,681
I know, but please
just stay on the phone.

1238
01:04:34,683 --> 01:04:37,648
- <i>We support you.</i>
- <i>We support you.</i>

1239
01:04:37,650 --> 01:04:39,648
<i>All right, say bye, honey.
Okay, bye.</i>

1240
01:04:39,650 --> 01:04:40,881
<i>Bye, we love you.</i>

1241
01:04:40,883 --> 01:04:41,981
<i>Love you.</i>

1242
01:04:41,983 --> 01:04:44,115
No, wait!

1243
01:04:44,117 --> 01:04:47,048
You sound like you could use
some good stuff.

1244
01:04:47,050 --> 01:04:50,182
Do you have like caffeine pills?
I'm really tired.

1245
01:04:50,184 --> 01:04:53,048
I promise you'll feel great.

1246
01:04:53,050 --> 01:04:55,115
If everything goes south,
will I remember tomorrow?

1247
01:04:55,117 --> 01:04:56,848
No.

1248
01:04:56,850 --> 01:04:59,143
I'll take two, please.

1249
01:05:27,250 --> 01:05:31,714
Excuse me, can you lift me up?
I really need to see the deejay.

1250
01:05:31,716 --> 01:05:33,243
- All right.
- Thank you.

1251
01:05:35,917 --> 01:05:38,043
There! Have your look.

1252
01:05:48,017 --> 01:05:49,840
Take over for a minute.

1253
01:05:58,850 --> 01:06:01,182
- Hi.
- Hi.

1254
01:06:01,184 --> 01:06:04,215
Um, I brought your toothbrush.

1255
01:06:04,217 --> 01:06:06,981
Christ, Nousha,
what are you doing here?

1256
01:06:06,983 --> 01:06:09,415
What, you don't call or text,
and you blocked me on Facebook,

1257
01:06:09,417 --> 01:06:11,282
so how else was I supposed
to bring your toothbrush?

1258
01:06:11,284 --> 01:06:13,981
You dumped me at the altar
in front of everybody.

1259
01:06:13,983 --> 01:06:15,815
You broke my fucking heart.

1260
01:06:15,817 --> 01:06:18,382
I fucked up. I was scared.
I was insecure.

1261
01:06:18,384 --> 01:06:19,981
There was too much
pressure on me.

1262
01:06:19,983 --> 01:06:22,310
And no, I didn't mean
what I said.

1263
01:06:24,250 --> 01:06:26,748
I'm ready now. I'm ready.

1264
01:06:26,750 --> 01:06:29,714
It's too late for me.

1265
01:06:29,716 --> 01:06:31,048
I love you.

1266
01:06:31,050 --> 01:06:32,809
No, you don't.

1267
01:06:39,217 --> 01:06:40,781
- Whoo!
- Oh!

1268
01:06:40,783 --> 01:06:42,842
Hey, watch it, girl!

1269
01:06:46,350 --> 01:06:47,748
Nousha!

1270
01:06:47,750 --> 01:06:49,709
Mom?

1271
01:06:52,217 --> 01:06:54,382
How long has this been going on?

1272
01:06:54,384 --> 01:06:58,115
Almost since your wedding,
or your breakup.

1273
01:06:58,117 --> 01:07:00,648
We were going to tell you,

1274
01:07:00,650 --> 01:07:03,981
but I guess
we could tell them now.

1275
01:07:03,983 --> 01:07:05,776
Tell us what?

1276
01:07:07,084 --> 01:07:09,648
Sam and I are getting married.

1277
01:07:09,650 --> 01:07:11,148
Who's Sam?

1278
01:07:11,150 --> 01:07:12,276
Saman!

1279
01:07:13,683 --> 01:07:14,781
That Sam?

1280
01:07:14,783 --> 01:07:16,842
And I'm converting.

1281
01:07:18,217 --> 01:07:20,248
Can you rub my arm?

1282
01:07:20,250 --> 01:07:22,048
Mom, why are you here?

1283
01:07:22,050 --> 01:07:25,781
Oh, honey, no,
we go dancing all the time.

1284
01:07:25,783 --> 01:07:28,714
We have been following you
as DJ Mohammed.

1285
01:07:28,716 --> 01:07:31,681
I got married so early,
and Sam was sent off to war.

1286
01:07:31,683 --> 01:07:34,709
We just never had a chance
to be young.

1287
01:07:35,783 --> 01:07:37,215
Alex, it's never too late.

1288
01:07:37,217 --> 01:07:41,915
No. As Hafez says,
"You must always stay close

1289
01:07:41,917 --> 01:07:46,082
to anything that makes you
feel glad to be alive."

1290
01:07:46,084 --> 01:07:48,215
Or something like that,
I think. Right?

1291
01:07:48,217 --> 01:07:49,648
You got it.

1292
01:07:49,650 --> 01:07:50,748
Okay, no, stop.

1293
01:07:50,750 --> 01:07:52,015
Could you please stop?

1294
01:07:52,017 --> 01:07:53,048
Stop.

1295
01:07:53,050 --> 01:07:54,742
Am I tripping?

1296
01:07:55,683 --> 01:07:57,807
I think so.

1297
01:08:11,950 --> 01:08:15,148
Even your Uncle Saman
is getting married before you.

1298
01:08:15,150 --> 01:08:17,881
God, I'm so happy for you.

1299
01:08:17,883 --> 01:08:19,648
What happened to Ali?

1300
01:08:19,650 --> 01:08:22,048
I'm not doing another one
of your arrangements.

1301
01:08:22,050 --> 01:08:24,115
You're not doing this
to me again, Nousha.

1302
01:08:24,117 --> 01:08:26,015
How dare you drop a doctor.

1303
01:08:26,017 --> 01:08:28,274
He wasn't a doctor.
He was a dentist.

1304
01:08:30,783 --> 01:08:33,915
Whatever.
I just want you to be happy.

1305
01:08:33,917 --> 01:08:38,009
Well, you're making me
miserable, so...

1306
01:08:46,683 --> 01:08:50,748
Nousha, your mother loves you.

1307
01:08:50,750 --> 01:08:52,976
She just doesn't know
any better.

1308
01:09:03,317 --> 01:09:06,476
Child bride. She had no choice.

1309
01:09:25,817 --> 01:09:27,742
Yes, baby.

1310
01:09:35,017 --> 01:09:38,742
And if you're lesbian,
that's okay too.

1311
01:09:52,350 --> 01:09:53,348
Hi.

1312
01:09:53,350 --> 01:09:54,842
Hey.

1313
01:09:57,716 --> 01:09:59,815
Keep your eyes
on the board, okay?

1314
01:09:59,817 --> 01:10:02,015
Now I know why I was always
too afraid to do this.

1315
01:10:02,017 --> 01:10:04,848
No, don't overthink it, Noush.
Just trust.

1316
01:10:04,850 --> 01:10:05,915
Trust?

1317
01:10:05,917 --> 01:10:07,709
- Trust.
- Trust.

1318
01:10:08,650 --> 01:10:10,241
Trust!

1319
01:10:12,117 --> 01:10:14,415
You have to learn
how to be alone.

1320
01:10:14,417 --> 01:10:17,809
The quietness in your heart
will give you the answers.

1321
01:10:23,917 --> 01:10:26,508
Is this one of the ones
you put in your vagina?

1322
01:10:47,983 --> 01:10:50,215
How did you say bye
to those eyes?

1323
01:10:50,217 --> 01:10:52,915
Well, it was a mutual agreement.

1324
01:10:52,917 --> 01:10:55,915
For me, it was something else.
I don't wanna go there.

1325
01:10:55,917 --> 01:10:58,007
Sorry.

1326
01:11:02,050 --> 01:11:04,709
Wanna grab a cheeseburger
together?

1327
01:11:05,917 --> 01:11:07,648
Just kidding.

1328
01:11:07,650 --> 01:11:09,208
I'm vegan now.

1329
01:11:10,417 --> 01:11:11,974
Namaste.

1330
01:11:13,250 --> 01:11:14,374
Did I do it right?

1331
01:12:13,411 --> 01:12:18,411
Translation and subtitles by
PEPPER & LALASPAIN
*** SONG LIVES FOR EVER ***

1332
01:12:22,850 --> 01:12:24,415
- No.
- Oh.

1333
01:12:24,417 --> 01:12:27,074
Right? What?

1334
01:12:49,716 --> 01:12:52,310
I thought you might need this.

1335
01:12:56,117 --> 01:12:57,909
Thank you.

1336
01:12:59,683 --> 01:13:01,115
Bill's out there,

1337
01:13:01,117 --> 01:13:03,748
trying to teach Ziba
how to use a BlackBerry.

1338
01:13:03,750 --> 01:13:05,714
He is not.

1339
01:13:05,716 --> 01:13:07,282
Oh, my gosh.

1340
01:13:07,284 --> 01:13:11,210
You know, I've never really
given you enough credit.

1341
01:13:13,084 --> 01:13:15,176
He's not easy.

1342
01:13:16,350 --> 01:13:20,248
Girl... We have a
lot to talk about.

1344
01:13:20,250 --> 01:13:22,076
We do.

1345
01:13:24,716 --> 01:13:28,809
You look... divine.

1347
01:13:30,050 --> 01:13:31,876
Thank you.

1348
01:13:34,683 --> 01:13:35,748
You ready, Mom?

1349
01:13:35,750 --> 01:13:37,848
Ohh! More than ready.

1350
01:13:37,850 --> 01:13:40,115
I love that man.

1351
01:13:40,117 --> 01:13:44,015
And besides, the sexual
chemistry is off the charts.

1352
01:13:44,017 --> 01:13:46,382
- Mom...
- I literally didn't even know

1353
01:13:46,384 --> 01:13:47,415
that I could bend like...

1354
01:13:47,417 --> 01:13:49,276
Okay, Mom, stop.

1355
01:14:00,917 --> 01:14:02,009
Alex...

1356
01:14:04,983 --> 01:14:07,943
I want you to be happy.

1357
01:14:08,883 --> 01:14:10,776
I am happy.

1358
01:14:11,883 --> 01:14:14,681
I think Hafez said

1359
01:14:14,683 --> 01:14:19,343
that love forgives and heals.

1360
01:14:21,650 --> 01:14:23,176
You look beautiful.

1361
01:14:25,950 --> 01:14:28,109
- See you out there.
- Okay.

1362
01:14:36,284 --> 01:14:37,410
Thanks.

1363
01:14:39,683 --> 01:14:41,382
Uh-huh.

1364
01:14:41,384 --> 01:14:43,876
Like James Bond.

1365
01:14:52,384 --> 01:14:54,681
Tell me what's wrong.

1366
01:14:54,683 --> 01:14:58,382
I'm honestly so happy for you.
It's okay.

1367
01:14:58,384 --> 01:15:00,876
You are not happy.

1368
01:15:02,417 --> 01:15:05,148
No, I'm not.

1369
01:15:05,150 --> 01:15:07,915
I really miss him.

1370
01:15:07,917 --> 01:15:10,976
I don't think he's ever
gonna forgive me.

1371
01:15:14,817 --> 01:15:18,382
You know what's wrong
with your generation?

1372
01:15:18,384 --> 01:15:20,082
You're too skeptical.

1373
01:15:20,084 --> 01:15:23,315
Always doubting everything.

1374
01:15:23,317 --> 01:15:25,443
So afraid of marriage.

1375
01:15:27,350 --> 01:15:31,015
It's this Internet.

1376
01:15:31,017 --> 01:15:34,915
Nousha, you don't know
how to have faith.

1377
01:15:34,917 --> 01:15:37,781
You have to believe in things.

1378
01:15:37,783 --> 01:15:40,815
That's how life moves forward.

1379
01:15:40,817 --> 01:15:42,876
That's a God lecture.

1380
01:15:44,084 --> 01:15:47,115
1986, the Iran-Iraq War.

1381
01:15:47,117 --> 01:15:49,648
We are in the depths of hell.

1382
01:15:49,650 --> 01:15:50,948
The government was broke,

1383
01:15:50,950 --> 01:15:53,981
so we had limited arms
and no supplies.

1384
01:15:53,983 --> 01:15:57,881
But my men, they marched on.

1385
01:15:57,883 --> 01:16:02,276
We took Najaf with just one tank
and a handful of grenades.

1386
01:16:04,817 --> 01:16:07,276
But then we heard
the airstrikes.

1387
01:16:08,217 --> 01:16:10,415
Chemical weapons.

1388
01:16:10,417 --> 01:16:12,648
It was Saddam.

1389
01:16:12,650 --> 01:16:15,176
He blasted my men.

1390
01:16:16,750 --> 01:16:19,410
Most of them died... like that.

1392
01:16:21,317 --> 01:16:24,776
But I just lost a few ligaments.

1393
01:16:25,917 --> 01:16:28,714
How did I never know about that?

1394
01:16:28,716 --> 01:16:30,881
I also have a scar
on my backside right here.

1395
01:16:30,883 --> 01:16:34,443
No, I don't need...
I'm good, I'm good.

1396
01:16:38,950 --> 01:16:44,282
The point is, Nousha,
that even in my darkest hour,

1397
01:16:44,284 --> 01:16:46,748
I still had faith.

1398
01:16:46,750 --> 01:16:50,315
I knew that one day
there would be a light,

1399
01:16:50,317 --> 01:16:54,909
and that light... is Maggie.

1401
01:16:57,850 --> 01:17:01,415
If you're constantly
living in fear,

1402
01:17:01,417 --> 01:17:05,148
you won't let the light in.

1403
01:17:05,150 --> 01:17:10,315
As in love, it's simple.

1405
01:17:10,317 --> 01:17:13,210
And you should never give up.

1406
01:17:17,783 --> 01:17:20,109
I'm gonna need your help
with something.

1407
01:17:21,417 --> 01:17:23,009
Pigeon.

1408
01:17:24,317 --> 01:17:25,348
Thanks, Saman.

1409
01:17:25,350 --> 01:17:27,176
Of course, darling.

1410
01:17:41,284 --> 01:17:42,282
Hi.

1411
01:17:42,284 --> 01:17:43,815
Ready?

1412
01:17:43,817 --> 01:17:45,282
I am.

1413
01:17:45,284 --> 01:17:47,815
Actually, Alex,
if you don't mind,

1414
01:17:47,817 --> 01:17:51,848
I would really like to walk
your mother down the aisle.

1415
01:17:51,850 --> 01:17:53,248
Of course, Dad.

1416
01:17:53,250 --> 01:17:54,248
Thank you.

1417
01:17:54,250 --> 01:17:57,215
Um, you all got me here,

1418
01:17:57,217 --> 01:18:00,348
so you all are walking me
down the aisle.

1419
01:18:00,350 --> 01:18:03,348
Hey, you too, Steven!

1420
01:18:03,350 --> 01:18:05,508
Get in here,
you handsome bastard.

1421
01:18:07,184 --> 01:18:08,348
Quite a family.

1422
01:18:08,350 --> 01:18:09,881
You ready?

1423
01:18:09,883 --> 01:18:11,840
Right legs first.

1424
01:18:21,783 --> 01:18:24,809
I'm gonna leave you here.
You're on your own.

1425
01:18:25,750 --> 01:18:26,781
Be amazing.

1426
01:18:26,783 --> 01:18:28,248
Thank you.

1427
01:18:28,250 --> 01:18:30,210
- Ready?
- Yeah.

1428
01:18:39,917 --> 01:18:43,315
Thank you all for coming.

1429
01:18:43,317 --> 01:18:47,282
Love is not about
keeping a score,

1430
01:18:47,284 --> 01:18:50,348
hesitation or fear.

1431
01:18:50,350 --> 01:18:55,981
Love is about sacrifice,
understanding

1432
01:18:55,983 --> 01:18:58,781
and forgiveness.

1433
01:18:58,783 --> 01:19:01,348
As the great Persian poet says,

1434
01:19:01,350 --> 01:19:04,748
"And still after all this time,"

1435
01:19:04,750 --> 01:19:07,848
the sun never says to the Earth,

1436
01:19:07,850 --> 01:19:09,776
"'You owe me.'"

1437
01:19:11,317 --> 01:19:15,182
Look what happens
with that kind of love.

1438
01:19:15,184 --> 01:19:18,809
It lights the whole sky.

1439
01:19:22,184 --> 01:19:27,343
Now may I ask the ladies join me
for the Persian canopy.

1440
01:19:35,317 --> 01:19:37,276
Rings, please?

1441
01:19:41,184 --> 01:19:43,182
Thank you.

1442
01:19:43,184 --> 01:19:45,681
Maggie Baker...

1443
01:19:45,683 --> 01:19:49,015
do you accept
Saman Amir Husseini

1444
01:19:49,017 --> 01:19:51,681
as your husband willingly,

1445
01:19:51,683 --> 01:19:54,182
without any reservation?

1446
01:19:54,184 --> 01:19:56,476
I sure do.

1447
01:19:58,783 --> 01:20:02,748
Saman Amir Husseini,

1448
01:20:02,750 --> 01:20:06,714
do you take Maggie Baker
as your wife willingly,

1449
01:20:06,716 --> 01:20:09,648
without any reservation?

1450
01:20:09,650 --> 01:20:11,776
Heck yes.

1451
01:20:13,217 --> 01:20:15,648
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.

1452
01:20:15,650 --> 01:20:18,143
You may kiss the bride.

1453
01:20:19,417 --> 01:20:21,415
Ha ha! Whoo!

1454
01:20:21,417 --> 01:20:24,508
Now let's party!

1455
01:20:47,217 --> 01:20:50,315
Mmm!

1456
01:20:50,317 --> 01:20:51,881
Yeah!

1457
01:20:51,883 --> 01:20:53,415
Whoo!

1458
01:20:53,417 --> 01:20:55,348
- That's so good.
- Delicious.

1459
01:20:55,350 --> 01:20:57,215
Sweet like you.

1460
01:20:57,217 --> 01:20:59,215
You know,
there are weirder things.

1461
01:20:59,217 --> 01:21:00,848
Yeah.

1462
01:21:00,850 --> 01:21:02,148
Oh, yeah?

1463
01:21:02,150 --> 01:21:03,681
- Yeah, plenty.
- For sure.

1464
01:21:03,683 --> 01:21:04,776
Name one.

1465
01:21:09,217 --> 01:21:10,382
Oh, sorry.

1466
01:21:10,384 --> 01:21:12,915
I'll be right back, okay?

1467
01:21:12,917 --> 01:21:14,441
Thank you.

1468
01:21:17,084 --> 01:21:19,382
Ladies and gentlemen,
your attention, please.

1469
01:21:19,384 --> 01:21:21,348
I just would like to say

1470
01:21:21,350 --> 01:21:26,007
that today has been the most
wonderful day of my life.

1471
01:21:29,783 --> 01:21:31,415
Thank you.

1472
01:21:31,417 --> 01:21:36,182
And it is not only because
I had the pleasure

1473
01:21:36,184 --> 01:21:38,815
of marrying
this beautiful goddess

1474
01:21:38,817 --> 01:21:40,981
and the love of my life,

1475
01:21:40,983 --> 01:21:43,248
Maggie Baker-Husseini,

1476
01:21:43,250 --> 01:21:45,815
but also I would like to say

1477
01:21:45,817 --> 01:21:50,748
that we have today with us
in the house

1478
01:21:50,750 --> 01:21:53,115
one of my favorite singers
in the whole world.

1479
01:21:53,117 --> 01:21:56,714
Ladies and gentlemen,
please help me welcome

1480
01:21:56,716 --> 01:21:58,648
Miss Celine Dion.

1481
01:21:58,650 --> 01:22:01,541
Oh, my God!

1482
01:22:05,850 --> 01:22:07,009
- My favorite!
- There she is!

1483
01:22:08,983 --> 01:22:11,310
Celine, Celine, Celine!

1484
01:22:14,417 --> 01:22:16,842
Celine, thank you.

1485
01:22:22,117 --> 01:22:26,415
♪ I met you at a protest ♪

1486
01:22:26,417 --> 01:22:31,315
♪ I tried to keep my cool ♪

1487
01:22:31,317 --> 01:22:36,082
♪ A fire on our wedding day ♪

1488
01:22:36,084 --> 01:22:39,076
♪ When I fell in the pool ♪

1489
01:22:40,250 --> 01:22:44,815
♪ I'll be there in a heartbeat ♪

1490
01:22:44,817 --> 01:22:48,315
♪ Anytime that you call ♪

1491
01:22:48,317 --> 01:22:53,182
♪ I wanna be
domestic partners now ♪

1492
01:22:53,184 --> 01:22:57,109
♪ Saddam and Andy Warhol ♪

1493
01:22:58,150 --> 01:23:01,815
♪ I wanted to tell you ♪

1494
01:23:01,817 --> 01:23:05,681
♪ But I was so filled
with doubt ♪

1495
01:23:05,683 --> 01:23:09,282
♪ Fear got in the way ♪

1496
01:23:09,284 --> 01:23:13,182
♪ I am right here to say ♪

1497
01:23:13,184 --> 01:23:16,943
♪ That I'm ready now ♪

1498
01:23:46,850 --> 01:23:48,348
Wait.

1499
01:23:48,350 --> 01:23:50,348
Aren't we like cousins now?

1500
01:23:50,350 --> 01:23:54,274
More like second cousins,
so it's still legal.

1501
01:24:15,000 --> 01:24:25,000
Translation and subtitles by
PEPPER & LALASPAIN
*** SONG LIVES FOR EVER ***