1
00:01:06,933 --> 00:01:11,003
[ laughter ]
2
00:01:11,005 --> 00:01:13,738
Aah!
3
00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:14,939
Let's just get this started.
4
00:01:14,941 --> 00:01:16,608
Are you [bleep] kidding me?
5
00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:18,143
Who's a good guy?!
6
00:01:18,145 --> 00:01:20,679
[ laughter ]
7
00:01:20,681 --> 00:01:21,980
[ cymbals crash ]
8
00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:26,284
[ laughter ]
9
00:01:26,286 --> 00:01:29,221
With special guest
bret michaels.
10
00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:30,422
I'm ready.
11
00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:36,761
Have you been injured
in a supermarket accident?
12
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:39,297
Did you slip and fall
into a food display
13
00:01:39,299 --> 00:01:41,099
As a result of
employee negligence?
14
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,235
Did you convince a stranger
to act
15
00:01:43,237 --> 00:01:45,170
As a witness
to said accident?
16
00:01:45,172 --> 00:01:48,040
I was horribly injured when I
crashed through a food display.
17
00:01:48,042 --> 00:01:50,308
Am I entitled
to a large cash settlement?
18
00:01:50,310 --> 00:01:52,044
Did a witness
corroborate your story?
19
00:01:52,046 --> 00:01:53,045
No.
20
00:01:53,047 --> 00:01:54,646
Both: Then you lose.
21
00:01:58,519 --> 00:02:00,853
Fellas, we're back
in a grocery roll.
22
00:02:00,855 --> 00:02:01,986
I can't believe it.
23
00:02:01,988 --> 00:02:04,122
Grocery roll.
I'll never live that one down.
24
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,258
Because
it doesn't exist.
25
00:02:06,260 --> 00:02:07,526
It's a speech impediment.
26
00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:08,660
But it's not.
27
00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:10,195
Guys, can I point out
the manager
28
00:02:10,197 --> 00:02:12,464
Of the store today
is simmy cantstandyoubitz
29
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,066
Right over there?
30
00:02:14,068 --> 00:02:15,800
-Yes.
-Look how stern he looks.
31
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:18,803
That's the same look he has on
his face when we pitch him bits.
32
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:20,138
It's no coincidence, q.
33
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,675
[ laughter ]
34
00:02:22,677 --> 00:02:24,142
Here we go.
35
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,878
Oh, my god.
Be careful.
36
00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:27,145
You see this whole thing?
37
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,547
They have a ladder
right next to this
38
00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:29,548
Cheese puff display.
39
00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:30,615
That's terribly dangerous.
40
00:02:30,617 --> 00:02:31,816
You could probably
sue this place
41
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:34,352
For millions of dollars,
don't you think?
42
00:02:34,354 --> 00:02:36,288
Yeah.
It's just if I sue this place,
can imagine that?
43
00:02:36,290 --> 00:02:38,022
I could use that money.
I'll tell you why.
44
00:02:38,024 --> 00:02:39,624
"my wife needs braces."
45
00:02:39,626 --> 00:02:41,159
My wife needs braces.
46
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:44,229
"but, like, everywhere."
47
00:02:44,231 --> 00:02:45,564
But, like, everywhere.
48
00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:46,699
"she needs a scaffold."
49
00:02:46,701 --> 00:02:48,833
You know, she's needs --
she needs like
50
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:50,235
A scaffolding
around her body.
51
00:02:50,237 --> 00:02:52,437
You know how expensive braces
are for your mouth.
52
00:02:52,439 --> 00:02:53,906
Imagine your whole body.
53
00:02:53,908 --> 00:02:55,374
Yeah.
54
00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:57,576
I can't believe
she's still engaging him.
55
00:02:57,578 --> 00:02:58,643
You know what I should do?
56
00:02:58,645 --> 00:03:00,845
I should fall
and sue this place.
57
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:02,847
Hold on one second.
Watch. Keep an eye, okay?
58
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:04,849
Alright. Here we go.
There we go.
59
00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:06,451
Look how dangerous this is,
right?
60
00:03:06,453 --> 00:03:08,587
I'm just gonna
get the top one.
61
00:03:08,589 --> 00:03:10,054
Oh, hell. God.
62
00:03:10,056 --> 00:03:12,925
Oh, no!
Oh, cheese puffs!
63
00:03:12,927 --> 00:03:19,398
[ laughter ]
64
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:20,799
What the hell?
65
00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:22,134
Send in simmy.
66
00:03:22,136 --> 00:03:23,736
What just happened here?
67
00:03:23,738 --> 00:03:28,006
Some -- some jerk put a ladder
next to the cheese puffs.
68
00:03:28,008 --> 00:03:30,743
This is crazy.
I probably broke something.
69
00:03:30,745 --> 00:03:32,945
Your roll.
70
00:03:32,947 --> 00:03:35,347
She saw it.
She saw it, sir.
71
00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:37,015
I went to grab
the top thing
72
00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:38,483
And the display,
the whole thing fell.
73
00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:39,818
Sir, you're gonna need
to zip your lip for a second.
74
00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:40,853
What happened?
75
00:03:44,625 --> 00:03:46,691
It was an accident, right?
Could have happened to anyone.
76
00:03:46,693 --> 00:03:48,693
Thank god it was me
and not this poor kid.
77
00:03:48,695 --> 00:03:50,562
If you saw a ladder in
the middle of a grocery store,
78
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:51,630
Would you get on it?
79
00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:53,632
[ laughter ]
80
00:03:53,634 --> 00:03:56,100
The kid doesn't -- he's a kid.
He doesn't know anything.
81
00:03:56,102 --> 00:03:57,536
Ask her.
She saw it.
82
00:04:00,775 --> 00:04:01,906
Do you think
it was an accident
83
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:02,975
Or you think he did it
on purpose?
84
00:04:06,781 --> 00:04:08,913
Oh!
85
00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:10,983
Q: That kid saw
right through everything.
86
00:04:10,985 --> 00:04:12,117
God damn these kids.
87
00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:14,252
[ buzzer ]
88
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:17,189
Murr: Sal, that stack
looks dangerous.
89
00:04:17,191 --> 00:04:19,724
That stack
of soft paper towels.
90
00:04:19,726 --> 00:04:20,859
Here we go.
91
00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:21,926
Let me ask you a question.
Do you think this is safe
92
00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:24,863
That they put a stack of --
no, right?
93
00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:26,665
Someone could trip
and blame the store. I mean...
94
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:28,200
"I got an idea."
"I could use the money."
95
00:04:28,202 --> 00:04:30,535
We could all use the money,
probably. I could use the money.
96
00:04:30,537 --> 00:04:33,738
"my wife passed away
during the tide pod challenge."
97
00:04:33,740 --> 00:04:35,207
My wife passed away,
full disclosure,
98
00:04:35,209 --> 00:04:37,275
During the tide pod challenge
thing.
99
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,677
[ laughter ]
100
00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:40,012
I've been having trouble, like,
making ends meet
101
00:04:40,014 --> 00:04:41,480
'cause she had a salary.
102
00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:44,683
I could fall down into that
thing and get a nice lawsuit.
103
00:04:44,685 --> 00:04:47,352
I wouldn't do it, but unless --
you got my back?
104
00:04:47,354 --> 00:04:48,620
Oh, yeah.
105
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:50,689
Really?
Oh, cool. Cool.
106
00:04:50,691 --> 00:04:52,024
Murr: Hey, here we go.
107
00:04:52,026 --> 00:04:53,625
Here we go.
108
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:57,496
[ laughter ]
109
00:04:57,498 --> 00:04:58,763
Send in the manager.
110
00:04:58,765 --> 00:05:00,098
Are you okay?
111
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:03,301
These sharp, hard objects
darted out in front of me.
112
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:06,104
[ laughter ]
113
00:05:06,106 --> 00:05:07,706
I'm -- I'm hurt, actually.
114
00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:09,374
I was walking.
I didn't see this thing,
115
00:05:09,376 --> 00:05:10,575
And I ended up
falling over it.
116
00:05:10,577 --> 00:05:12,577
Did you see what happened?
Yeah, she saw it.
117
00:05:12,579 --> 00:05:13,778
I'm gonna have to write up
a report,
118
00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:15,581
So do you mind just --
what happened exactly?
119
00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:21,186
Whoa.
What?
120
00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:23,255
I noted that it could have
been a hazard.
121
00:05:23,257 --> 00:05:24,322
And you still just --
122
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,924
You just marched
right into it?
123
00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:27,992
Not just a --
I didn't March into it.
124
00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:29,461
I tripped on it.
125
00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:32,330
Murr:
He's still falling.
126
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,666
[ laughter ]
127
00:05:33,668 --> 00:05:35,534
Did he just do that
on purpose?
128
00:05:35,536 --> 00:05:36,935
What?
129
00:05:36,937 --> 00:05:38,671
And why is that there?
130
00:05:38,673 --> 00:05:41,673
My wife died
during a tide pod challenge.
131
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:45,210
A cash settlement
is in order.
132
00:05:45,212 --> 00:05:47,011
That did not look
very accidental.
133
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,213
Never mind the oranges.
134
00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:50,749
I'll just take the settlement
for the paper towels.
135
00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:52,117
You saw him dive into
the oranges, right?
136
00:05:54,421 --> 00:05:55,688
Oh!
She's got you.
137
00:05:55,690 --> 00:05:56,755
This was an accident?
138
00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:59,224
You'll fill out the form?
139
00:05:59,226 --> 00:06:01,826
[ laughter ]
oh!
140
00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:03,962
There's good, honest people
in this world still.
141
00:06:03,964 --> 00:06:06,565
[ ding! ]
q: Ohh! Well done.
142
00:06:06,567 --> 00:07:15,067
Quick question for you.
Murr: Yeah.
143
00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:19,204
[ laughter ]
144
00:07:19,206 --> 00:07:21,740
Aah!
145
00:07:21,742 --> 00:07:22,941
Let's just get this started.
146
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,809
Are you [bleep] kidding me?
147
00:07:24,811 --> 00:07:26,344
Who's a good guy?!
148
00:07:26,346 --> 00:07:28,681
[ laughter ]
149
00:07:28,683 --> 00:07:30,115
[ cymbals crash ]
150
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,486
[ laughter ]
151
00:07:34,488 --> 00:07:37,422
With special guest
bret michaels.
152
00:07:37,424 --> 00:07:38,557
I'm ready.
153
00:07:41,896 --> 00:07:44,963
Have you been injured
in a supermarket accident?
154
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:47,299
Did you slip and fall
into a food display
155
00:07:47,301 --> 00:07:49,301
As a result of
employee negligence?
156
00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:51,436
Did you convince a stranger
to act
157
00:07:51,438 --> 00:07:53,171
As a witness
to said accident?
158
00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:56,241
I was horribly injured when I
crashed through a food display.
159
00:07:56,243 --> 00:07:58,510
Am I entitled
to a large cash settlement?
160
00:07:58,512 --> 00:08:00,245
Did a witness
corroborate your story?
161
00:08:00,247 --> 00:08:01,246
No.
162
00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:02,781
Both: Then you lose.
163
00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:09,053
Fellas, we're back
in a grocery roll.
164
00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:09,988
I can't believe it.
165
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:12,324
Grocery roll.
I'll never live that one down.
166
00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:14,459
Because
it doesn't exist.
167
00:08:14,461 --> 00:08:15,727
It's a speech impediment.
168
00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:16,861
But it's not.
169
00:08:16,863 --> 00:08:18,396
Guys, can I point out
the manager
170
00:08:18,398 --> 00:08:20,665
Of the store today
is simmy cantstandyoubitz
171
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:22,267
Right over there?
172
00:08:22,269 --> 00:08:23,802
-Yes.
-Look how stern he looks.
173
00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:26,805
That's the same look he has on
his face when we pitch him bits.
174
00:08:26,807 --> 00:08:28,140
It's no coincidence, q.
175
00:08:28,142 --> 00:08:30,875
[ laughter ]
176
00:08:30,877 --> 00:08:32,344
Here we go.
177
00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:34,078
Oh, my god.
Be careful.
178
00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:35,347
You see this whole thing?
179
00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:36,548
They have a ladder
right next to this
180
00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:37,549
Cheese puff display.
181
00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:38,617
That's terribly dangerous.
182
00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:39,818
You could probably
sue this place
183
00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:42,554
For millions of dollars,
don't you think?
184
00:08:42,556 --> 00:08:44,489
Yeah.
It's just if I sue this place,
can imagine that?
185
00:08:44,491 --> 00:08:46,224
I could use that money.
I'll tell you why.
186
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:47,826
"my wife needs braces."
187
00:08:47,828 --> 00:08:49,361
My wife needs braces.
188
00:08:49,363 --> 00:08:52,430
"but, like, everywhere."
189
00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:53,766
But, like, everywhere.
190
00:08:53,768 --> 00:08:54,899
"she needs a scaffold."
191
00:08:54,901 --> 00:08:57,035
You know, she's needs --
she needs like
192
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:58,236
A scaffolding
around her body.
193
00:08:58,238 --> 00:09:00,439
You know how expensive braces
are for your mouth.
194
00:09:00,441 --> 00:09:02,106
Imagine your whole body.
195
00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:03,575
Yeah.
196
00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:05,577
I can't believe
she's still engaging him.
197
00:09:05,579 --> 00:09:06,845
You know what I should do?
198
00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:08,847
I should fall
and sue this place.
199
00:09:08,849 --> 00:09:11,049
Hold on one second.
Watch. Keep an eye, okay?
200
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:13,051
Alright. Here we go.
There we go.
201
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,653
Look how dangerous this is,
right?
202
00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:16,789
I'm just gonna
get the top one.
203
00:09:16,791 --> 00:09:18,056
Oh, hell. God.
204
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:21,125
Oh, no!
Oh, cheese puffs!
205
00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:27,599
[ laughter ]
206
00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:28,801
What the hell?
207
00:09:28,803 --> 00:09:30,335
Send in simmy.
208
00:09:30,337 --> 00:09:31,936
What just happened here?
209
00:09:31,938 --> 00:09:36,008
Some -- some jerk put a ladder
next to the cheese puffs.
210
00:09:36,010 --> 00:09:38,943
This is crazy.
I probably broke something.
211
00:09:38,945 --> 00:09:41,146
Your roll.
212
00:09:41,148 --> 00:09:43,548
She saw it.
She saw it, sir.
213
00:09:43,550 --> 00:09:45,217
I went to grab
the top thing
214
00:09:45,219 --> 00:09:46,485
And the display,
the whole thing fell.
215
00:09:46,487 --> 00:09:47,820
Sir, you're gonna need
to zip your lip for a second.
216
00:09:47,822 --> 00:09:48,987
What happened?
217
00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:54,893
It was an accident, right?
Could have happened to anyone.
218
00:09:54,895 --> 00:09:56,695
Thank god it was me
and not this poor kid.
219
00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:58,763
If you saw a ladder in
the middle of a grocery store,
220
00:09:58,765 --> 00:09:59,832
Would you get on it?
221
00:09:59,834 --> 00:10:01,633
[ laughter ]
222
00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:04,102
The kid doesn't -- he's a kid.
He doesn't know anything.
223
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:05,671
Ask her.
She saw it.
224
00:10:08,975 --> 00:10:10,108
Do you think
it was an accident
225
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,110
Or you think he did it
on purpose?
226
00:10:14,981 --> 00:10:17,115
Oh!
227
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,184
Q: That kid saw
right through everything.
228
00:10:19,186 --> 00:10:20,318
God damn these kids.
229
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,454
[ buzzer ]
230
00:10:22,456 --> 00:10:25,390
Murr: Sal, that stack
looks dangerous.
231
00:10:25,392 --> 00:10:27,726
That stack
of soft paper towels.
232
00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:29,061
Here we go.
233
00:10:29,063 --> 00:10:30,128
Let me ask you a question.
Do you think this is safe
234
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:33,065
That they put a stack of --
no, right?
235
00:10:33,067 --> 00:10:34,867
Someone could trip
and blame the store. I mean...
236
00:10:34,869 --> 00:10:36,401
"I got an idea."
"I could use the money."
237
00:10:36,403 --> 00:10:38,537
We could all use the money,
probably. I could use the money.
238
00:10:38,539 --> 00:11:47,606
"my wife passed away
during the tide pod challenge."
239
00:11:47,674 --> 00:11:51,743
[ laughter ]
240
00:11:51,745 --> 00:11:54,279
Aah!
241
00:11:54,281 --> 00:11:55,480
Let's just get this started.
242
00:11:55,482 --> 00:11:57,348
Are you [bleep] kidding me?
243
00:11:57,350 --> 00:11:58,884
Who's a good guy?!
244
00:11:58,886 --> 00:12:01,220
[ laughter ]
245
00:12:01,222 --> 00:12:02,654
[ cymbals crash ]
246
00:12:05,492 --> 00:12:07,025
[ laughter ]
247
00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:09,961
With special guest
bret michaels.
248
00:12:09,963 --> 00:12:11,096
I'm ready.
249
00:12:14,435 --> 00:12:17,502
Have you been injured
in a supermarket accident?
250
00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:19,838
Did you slip and fall
into a food display
251
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,840
As a result of
employee negligence?
252
00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:23,975
Did you convince a stranger
to act
253
00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:25,711
As a witness
to said accident?
254
00:12:25,713 --> 00:12:28,780
I was horribly injured when I
crashed through a food display.
255
00:12:28,782 --> 00:12:31,049
Am I entitled
to a large cash settlement?
256
00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:32,784
Did a witness
corroborate your story?
257
00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:33,785
No.
258
00:12:33,787 --> 00:12:35,320
Both: Then you lose.
259
00:12:39,060 --> 00:12:41,593
Fellas, we're back
in a grocery roll.
260
00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:42,527
I can't believe it.
261
00:12:42,529 --> 00:12:44,863
Grocery roll.
I'll never live that one down.
262
00:12:44,865 --> 00:12:46,998
Because
it doesn't exist.
263
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,267
It's a speech impediment.
264
00:12:48,269 --> 00:12:49,400
But it's not.
265
00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:50,936
Guys, can I point out
the manager
266
00:12:50,938 --> 00:12:53,204
Of the store today
is simmy cantstandyoubitz
267
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:54,806
Right over there?
268
00:12:54,808 --> 00:12:56,341
-Yes.
-Look how stern he looks.
269
00:12:56,343 --> 00:12:59,344
That's the same look he has on
his face when we pitch him bits.
270
00:12:59,346 --> 00:13:00,679
It's no coincidence, q.
271
00:13:00,681 --> 00:13:03,415
[ laughter ]
272
00:13:03,417 --> 00:13:04,883
Here we go.
273
00:13:04,885 --> 00:13:06,618
Oh, my god.
Be careful.
274
00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:07,886
You see this whole thing?
275
00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:09,088
They have a ladder
right next to this
276
00:13:09,090 --> 00:13:10,089
Cheese puff display.
277
00:13:10,091 --> 00:13:11,156
That's terribly dangerous.
278
00:13:11,158 --> 00:13:12,357
You could probably
sue this place
279
00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:15,094
For millions of dollars,
don't you think?
280
00:13:15,096 --> 00:13:17,028
Yeah.
It's just if I sue this place,
can imagine that?
281
00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:18,763
I could use that money.
I'll tell you why.
282
00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:20,365
"my wife needs braces."
283
00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:21,900
My wife needs braces.
284
00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:24,970
"but, like, everywhere."
285
00:13:24,972 --> 00:13:26,305
But, like, everywhere.
286
00:13:26,307 --> 00:13:27,439
"she needs a scaffold."
287
00:13:27,441 --> 00:13:29,574
You know, she's needs --
she needs like
288
00:13:29,576 --> 00:13:30,776
A scaffolding
around her body.
289
00:13:30,778 --> 00:13:32,978
You know how expensive braces
are for your mouth.
290
00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:34,646
Imagine your whole body.
291
00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:36,115
Yeah.
292
00:13:36,117 --> 00:13:38,117
I can't believe
she's still engaging him.
293
00:13:38,119 --> 00:13:39,384
You know what I should do?
294
00:13:39,386 --> 00:13:41,386
I should fall
and sue this place.
295
00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:43,588
Hold on one second.
Watch. Keep an eye, okay?
296
00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:45,590
Alright. Here we go.
There we go.
297
00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:47,192
Look how dangerous this is,
right?
298
00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:49,328
I'm just gonna
get the top one.
299
00:13:49,330 --> 00:13:50,595
Oh, hell. God.
300
00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:53,665
Oh, no!
Oh, cheese puffs!
301
00:13:53,667 --> 00:14:00,139
[ laughter ]
302
00:14:00,141 --> 00:14:01,340
What the hell?
303
00:14:01,342 --> 00:14:02,874
Send in simmy.
304
00:14:02,876 --> 00:14:04,476
What just happened here?
305
00:14:04,478 --> 00:14:08,547
Some -- some jerk put a ladder
next to the cheese puffs.
306
00:14:08,549 --> 00:14:11,483
This is crazy.
I probably broke something.
307
00:14:11,485 --> 00:14:13,685
Your roll.
308
00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:16,087
She saw it.
She saw it, sir.
309
00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:17,756
I went to grab
the top thing
310
00:14:17,758 --> 00:14:19,024
And the display,
the whole thing fell.
311
00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:20,359
Sir, you're gonna need
to zip your lip for a second.
312
00:14:20,361 --> 00:14:21,527
What happened?
313
00:14:25,166 --> 00:14:27,432
It was an accident, right?
Could have happened to anyone.
314
00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:29,234
Thank god it was me
and not this poor kid.
315
00:14:29,236 --> 00:14:31,302
If you saw a ladder in
the middle of a grocery store,
316
00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:32,371
Would you get on it?
317
00:14:32,373 --> 00:14:34,173
[ laughter ]
318
00:14:34,175 --> 00:14:36,641
The kid doesn't -- he's a kid.
He doesn't know anything.
319
00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:38,210
Ask her.
She saw it.
320
00:14:41,515 --> 00:14:42,647
Do you think
it was an accident
321
00:14:42,649 --> 00:14:43,649
Or you think he did it
on purpose?
322
00:14:47,521 --> 00:14:49,654
Oh!
323
00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:51,723
Q: That kid saw
right through everything.
324
00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:52,858
God damn these kids.
325
00:14:52,860 --> 00:14:54,993
[ buzzer ]
326
00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:57,929
Murr: Sal, that stack
looks dangerous.
327
00:14:57,931 --> 00:15:00,265
That stack
of soft paper towels.
328
00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:01,600
Here we go.
329
00:15:01,602 --> 00:15:02,667
Let me ask you a question.
Do you think this is safe
330
00:15:02,669 --> 00:15:05,604
That they put a stack of --
no, right?
331
00:15:05,606 --> 00:15:07,406
Someone could trip
and blame the store. I mean...
332
00:15:07,408 --> 00:15:08,940
"I got an idea."
"I could use the money."
333
00:15:08,942 --> 00:15:11,076
We could all use the money,
probably. I could use the money.
334
00:15:11,078 --> 00:15:14,479
"my wife passed away
during the tide pod challenge."
335
00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:15,947
My wife passed away,
full disclosure,
336
00:15:15,949 --> 00:15:17,816
During the tide pod challenge
thing.
337
00:15:17,818 --> 00:15:19,218
[ laughter ]
338
00:15:19,220 --> 00:15:20,752
I've been having trouble, like,
making ends meet
339
00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:22,221
'cause she had a salary.
340
00:15:22,223 --> 00:15:25,424
I could fall down into that
thing and get a nice lawsuit.
341
00:15:25,426 --> 00:15:27,893
I wouldn't do it, but unless --
you got my back?
342
00:15:27,895 --> 00:15:29,360
Oh, yeah.
343
00:15:29,362 --> 00:15:31,430
Really?
Oh, cool. Cool.
344
00:15:31,432 --> 00:15:32,764
Murr: Hey, here we go.
345
00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:34,365
Here we go.
346
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:38,237
[ laughter ]
347
00:15:38,239 --> 00:15:39,504
Send in the manager.
348
00:15:39,506 --> 00:15:40,639
Are you okay?
349
00:15:40,641 --> 00:15:43,842
These sharp, hard objects
darted out in front of me.
350
00:15:43,844 --> 00:15:46,645
[ laughter ]
351
00:15:46,647 --> 00:15:48,447
I'm -- I'm hurt, actually.
352
00:15:48,449 --> 00:15:50,115
I was walking.
I didn't see this thing,
353
00:15:50,117 --> 00:15:51,316
And I ended up
falling over it.
354
00:15:51,318 --> 00:15:53,118
Did you see what happened?
Yeah, she saw it.
355
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:54,519
I'm gonna have to write up
a report,
356
00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:56,255
So do you mind just --
what happened exactly?
357
00:16:00,193 --> 00:16:01,927
Whoa.
What?
358
00:16:01,929 --> 00:16:03,995
I noted that it could have
been a hazard.
359
00:16:03,997 --> 00:16:04,863
And you still just --
360
00:16:04,865 --> 00:16:06,465
You just marched
right into it?
361
00:16:06,467 --> 00:16:08,733
Not just a --
I didn't March into it.
362
00:16:08,735 --> 00:16:10,135
I tripped on it.
363
00:16:11,872 --> 00:16:13,071
Murr:
He's still falling.
364
00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:14,406
[ laughter ]
365
00:16:14,408 --> 00:16:16,275
Did he just do that
on purpose?
366
00:16:16,277 --> 00:16:17,676
What?
367
00:16:17,678 --> 00:16:19,411
And why is that there?
368
00:16:19,413 --> 00:16:22,413
My wife died
during a tide pod challenge.
369
00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:25,951
A cash settlement
is in order.
370
00:16:25,953 --> 00:16:27,552
That did not look
very accidental.
371
00:16:27,554 --> 00:16:28,754
Never mind the oranges.
372
00:16:28,756 --> 00:16:31,490
I'll just take the settlement
for the paper towels.
373
00:16:31,492 --> 00:16:32,791
You saw him dive into
the oranges, right?
374
00:16:34,962 --> 00:16:36,428
Oh!
She's got you.
375
00:16:36,430 --> 00:16:37,496
This was an accident?
376
00:16:37,498 --> 00:16:39,765
You'll fill out the form?
377
00:16:39,767 --> 00:17:50,135
[ laughter ]
oh!
378
00:17:50,204 --> 00:17:54,272
[ laughter ]
379
00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:56,808
Aah!
380
00:17:56,810 --> 00:17:58,009
Let's just get this started.
381
00:17:58,011 --> 00:17:59,878
Are you [bleep] kidding me?
382
00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:01,413
Who's a good guy?!
383
00:18:01,415 --> 00:18:03,749
[ laughter ]
384
00:18:03,751 --> 00:18:05,184
[ cymbals crash ]
385
00:18:08,021 --> 00:18:09,555
[ laughter ]
386
00:18:09,557 --> 00:18:12,490
With special guest
bret michaels.
387
00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:13,625
I'm ready.
388
00:18:16,964 --> 00:18:20,031
Have you been injured
in a supermarket accident?
389
00:18:20,033 --> 00:18:22,368
Did you slip and fall
into a food display
390
00:18:22,370 --> 00:18:24,369
As a result of
employee negligence?
391
00:18:24,371 --> 00:18:26,504
Did you convince a stranger
to act
392
00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:28,240
As a witness
to said accident?
393
00:18:28,242 --> 00:18:31,309
I was horribly injured when I
crashed through a food display.
394
00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:33,579
Am I entitled
to a large cash settlement?
395
00:18:33,581 --> 00:18:35,313
Did a witness
corroborate your story?
396
00:18:35,315 --> 00:18:36,314
No.
397
00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:37,850
Both: Then you lose.
398
00:18:41,589 --> 00:18:44,122
Fellas, we're back
in a grocery roll.
399
00:18:44,124 --> 00:18:45,057
I can't believe it.
400
00:18:45,059 --> 00:18:47,392
Grocery roll.
I'll never live that one down.
401
00:18:47,394 --> 00:18:49,527
Because
it doesn't exist.
402
00:18:49,529 --> 00:18:50,796
It's a speech impediment.
403
00:18:50,798 --> 00:18:51,930
But it's not.
404
00:18:51,932 --> 00:18:53,465
Guys, can I point out
the manager
405
00:18:53,467 --> 00:18:55,733
Of the store today
is simmy cantstandyoubitz
406
00:18:55,735 --> 00:18:57,335
Right over there?
407
00:18:57,337 --> 00:18:58,870
-Yes.
-Look how stern he looks.
408
00:18:58,872 --> 00:19:01,873
That's the same look he has on
his face when we pitch him bits.
409
00:19:01,875 --> 00:19:03,208
It's no coincidence, q.
410
00:19:03,210 --> 00:19:05,944
[ laughter ]
411
00:19:05,946 --> 00:19:07,412
Here we go.
412
00:19:07,414 --> 00:19:09,147
Oh, my god.
Be careful.
413
00:19:09,149 --> 00:19:10,415
You see this whole thing?
414
00:19:10,417 --> 00:19:11,617
They have a ladder
right next to this
415
00:19:11,619 --> 00:19:12,618
Cheese puff display.
416
00:19:12,620 --> 00:19:13,685
That's terribly dangerous.
417
00:19:13,687 --> 00:19:14,886
You could probably
sue this place
418
00:19:14,888 --> 00:19:17,623
For millions of dollars,
don't you think?
419
00:19:17,625 --> 00:19:19,557
Yeah.
It's just if I sue this place,
can imagine that?
420
00:19:19,559 --> 00:19:21,293
I could use that money.
I'll tell you why.
421
00:19:21,295 --> 00:19:22,894
"my wife needs braces."
422
00:19:22,896 --> 00:19:24,430
My wife needs braces.
423
00:19:24,432 --> 00:19:27,499
"but, like, everywhere."
424
00:19:27,501 --> 00:19:28,834
But, like, everywhere.
425
00:19:28,836 --> 00:19:29,968
"she needs a scaffold."
426
00:19:29,970 --> 00:19:32,103
You know, she's needs --
she needs like
427
00:19:32,105 --> 00:19:33,305
A scaffolding
around her body.
428
00:19:33,307 --> 00:19:35,507
You know how expensive braces
are for your mouth.
429
00:19:35,509 --> 00:19:37,175
Imagine your whole body.
430
00:19:37,177 --> 00:19:38,644
Yeah.
431
00:19:38,646 --> 00:19:40,646
I can't believe
she's still engaging him.
432
00:19:40,648 --> 00:19:41,913
You know what I should do?
433
00:19:41,915 --> 00:19:43,915
I should fall
and sue this place.
434
00:19:43,917 --> 00:19:46,117
Hold on one second.
Watch. Keep an eye, okay?
435
00:19:46,119 --> 00:19:48,120
Alright. Here we go.
There we go.
436
00:19:48,122 --> 00:19:49,721
Look how dangerous this is,
right?
437
00:19:49,723 --> 00:19:51,857
I'm just gonna
get the top one.
438
00:19:51,859 --> 00:19:53,125
Oh, hell. God.
439
00:19:53,127 --> 00:19:56,194
Oh, no!
Oh, cheese puffs!
440
00:19:56,196 --> 00:20:02,668
[ laughter ]
441
00:20:02,670 --> 00:20:03,869
What the hell?
442
00:20:03,871 --> 00:20:05,403
Send in simmy.
443
00:20:05,405 --> 00:20:07,005
What just happened here?
444
00:20:07,007 --> 00:20:11,076
Some -- some jerk put a ladder
next to the cheese puffs.
445
00:20:11,078 --> 00:20:14,012
This is crazy.
I probably broke something.
446
00:20:14,014 --> 00:20:16,214
Your roll.
447
00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:18,616
She saw it.
She saw it, sir.
448
00:20:18,618 --> 00:20:20,285
I went to grab
the top thing
449
00:20:20,287 --> 00:20:21,553
And the display,
the whole thing fell.
450
00:20:21,555 --> 00:20:22,888
Sir, you're gonna need
to zip your lip for a second.
451
00:20:22,890 --> 00:20:24,056
What happened?
452
00:20:27,695 --> 00:20:29,961
It was an accident, right?
Could have happened to anyone.
453
00:20:29,963 --> 00:20:31,763
Thank god it was me
and not this poor kid.
454
00:20:31,765 --> 00:20:33,832
If you saw a ladder in
the middle of a grocery store,
455
00:20:33,834 --> 00:20:34,900
Would you get on it?
456
00:20:34,902 --> 00:20:36,702
[ laughter ]
457
00:20:36,704 --> 00:20:39,171
The kid doesn't -- he's a kid.
He doesn't know anything.
458
00:20:39,173 --> 00:20:40,739
Ask her.
She saw it.
459
00:20:44,044 --> 00:20:45,177
Do you think
it was an accident
460
00:20:45,179 --> 00:20:46,178
Or you think he did it
on purpose?
461
00:20:50,050 --> 00:20:52,184
Oh!
462
00:20:52,186 --> 00:20:54,252
Q: That kid saw
right through everything.
463
00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:55,387
God damn these kids.
464
00:20:55,389 --> 00:20:57,523
[ buzzer ]
465
00:20:57,525 --> 00:21:00,458
Murr: Sal, that stack
looks dangerous.
466
00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:02,861
That stack
of soft paper towels.