1
00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:08,207
[ laughter ]
2
00:00:10,877 --> 00:00:11,910
[ screams ]
3
00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:14,679
Let's just get this started.
4
00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:16,281
Are you [bleep] kidding me?
5
00:00:16,283 --> 00:00:17,349
Who's a good guy?
6
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:21,620
[ cymbals crash ]
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00:00:25,892 --> 00:00:28,160
Narrator: With special guest
paul scheer.
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It's very hairy.
9
00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:31,030
[ laughter ]
10
00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:34,432
Today we're at west orange
tennis club
11
00:00:34,434 --> 00:00:36,234
Giving pickleball lessons
to seniors.
12
00:00:36,236 --> 00:00:37,902
While out on the court,
we're gonna have to do
13
00:00:37,904 --> 00:00:39,438
And say whatever
the other guys tell us to.
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And if you refuse,
you lose.
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Aaahh!
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♪♪
17
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When you were standing
back here with me earlier,
18
00:00:49,183 --> 00:00:51,984
Those shorts were not
that high.
19
00:00:51,986 --> 00:00:54,519
Yeah, they were.
No, they were not.
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00:00:54,521 --> 00:00:55,720
Hi.
21
00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:57,456
Hello.
I'm barbara.
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00:00:57,458 --> 00:00:59,191
Let's get to know each other
a little bit.
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"here's the deal.
I used to coach kids.
24
00:01:00,795 --> 00:01:02,594
I'd get attached,
they'd leave for college."
25
00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:04,663
I used to -- I used to teach
pickleball to kids all the time.
26
00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:07,131
But I'd get too attached
to the kids.
Okay.
27
00:01:07,133 --> 00:01:08,533
They'd leave for college.
They'd grow up.
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00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:11,069
"but I foresee no problems
working with seniors."
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00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:13,872
Yeah, but [laughs]
30
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But, you know, for me, like,
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00:01:15,342 --> 00:01:16,941
I foresee
no problems with seniors.
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00:01:16,943 --> 00:01:18,076
Oh.
33
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:20,212
[ laughter ]
34
00:01:20,214 --> 00:01:21,547
Me and you can play
pickleball forever.
35
00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:24,416
"we could totally be
pickle pals."
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00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:26,084
We could be pickle pals.
Okay.
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00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,152
Sounds good.
38
00:01:27,154 --> 00:01:29,021
[ laughter ]
39
00:01:29,023 --> 00:01:30,355
You want to serve to me?
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00:01:30,357 --> 00:01:32,491
Barbara: I'll serve.
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00:01:32,493 --> 00:01:33,425
Unh!
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[ laughter ]
43
00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:37,329
Q, every ball,
hit back off the building.
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00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:42,300
Unh!
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[ ball thuds ]
46
00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:44,703
You hear that ding?
47
00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:46,104
[ laughter ]
48
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:47,239
You're better than that,
barb.
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00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:48,573
We're looking
for a volley here.
50
00:01:48,575 --> 00:01:50,009
[ laughter ]
51
00:01:52,179 --> 00:01:54,446
Aaah!
52
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,448
Barb, why aren't you going
for them?
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00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:58,751
Murr: She's over it.
She's over it.
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00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:01,854
Aaaahhh!
55
00:02:01,856 --> 00:02:03,722
[ ball thuds, laughter ]
56
00:02:03,724 --> 00:02:05,323
Get it, barb.
57
00:02:05,325 --> 00:02:06,692
[ laughter ]
58
00:02:09,196 --> 00:02:10,795
"barbara, full disclosure."
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00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:12,130
Barbara, full disclosure.
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00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:16,468
"I tend to get into intimate
relationship with my students."
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00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,336
I don't know if you
feel the electricity.
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00:02:18,338 --> 00:02:19,738
Murr: Wait, q, don't do it!
63
00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:22,140
Oh, no. Oh, my god.
No, don't you dare do it.
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00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,942
Okay. They called it.
They called it. Not me.
65
00:02:23,944 --> 00:02:25,610
It's still a winner.
Still a thumbs-up.
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00:02:25,612 --> 00:02:27,145
I chickened out
on my own idea.
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Aaahh!
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00:02:28,348 --> 00:02:29,548
[ ding! ]
69
00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:30,416
That's a win.
70
00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:35,287
You look like you're walking
out into a prison yard.
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00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:36,621
So here's the thing.
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00:02:36,623 --> 00:02:38,957
Pickleball has
a very specific set of rules.
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00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:40,492
I did not absorb any of it.
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00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:43,161
And so I'm gonna be calling
this european pickleball,
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00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,697
And I'm gonna tell them
to throw everything they know
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00:02:44,699 --> 00:02:46,431
About pickleball away
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00:02:46,433 --> 00:02:47,766
So I could work
within my own parameters.
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00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:49,167
And I'm just letting you know
that right now.
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00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:50,368
I'm taking it upon myself.
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00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:51,703
What do you think
this show has become --
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00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:54,038
You tell yourself what
to do and say, and you do it?
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00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:56,040
Just let me have this,
all right?
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00:02:56,042 --> 00:02:57,509
Murr:
Here you go, buddy.
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00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,111
Hello. How are you?
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00:02:59,113 --> 00:03:00,112
Oh, what is your name?
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00:03:00,114 --> 00:03:01,213
Toby.
Toby.
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00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:04,048
I am, yeah.
Oh.
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00:03:04,050 --> 00:03:05,784
I'm newer.
I'm coming from overseas.
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00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:07,119
I was in the military.
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00:03:07,121 --> 00:03:08,921
Sal, you're
a drill sergeant.
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00:03:08,923 --> 00:03:10,322
Okay, so throw everything
you know
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00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:11,990
About pickleball out the window.
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00:03:11,992 --> 00:03:13,392
Okay.
I'm gonna teach you
european pickleball.
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00:03:13,394 --> 00:03:15,994
I'm gonna teach you
psychological pickleball.
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00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:17,529
Okay.
"tell me. I do have to ask."
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00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:20,799
I do have to ask you.
"you're not blind, right?"
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[ laughter ]
98
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,003
Just the blue blockers,
you know?
99
00:03:25,005 --> 00:03:27,606
You have all your vision?
Yes?
100
00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:29,741
Yeah.
Right now, you see me?
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00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:30,675
Yes.
102
00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:32,945
[ laughter ]
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00:03:32,947 --> 00:03:34,747
Cole, fall in line.
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00:03:34,749 --> 00:03:36,949
We'll also be playing
my partner, cole, here today.
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00:03:36,951 --> 00:03:39,217
"now, toby, I want you
to smack-talk cole."
106
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:42,487
But as soon as you serve to him
right now, just throw --
107
00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:43,956
Just throw a little something --
you know,
108
00:03:43,958 --> 00:03:45,557
"this is coming right at you
[bleep]"
109
00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:47,359
"take this,
you piece of shit,"
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00:03:47,361 --> 00:03:49,227
Or, "try to return this,
you [bleep]"
111
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,496
Just shout out something,
like, to that nature.
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00:03:51,498 --> 00:03:52,965
Q: Look at cole.
He's ready.
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00:03:52,967 --> 00:03:54,633
Cole's
never been more ready.
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00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:55,701
Just...
115
00:03:57,638 --> 00:03:59,437
Yeah, you can say it out
loud or in your head.
Yeah.
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00:03:59,439 --> 00:04:01,640
Cole, just be like,
"we playing today?"
117
00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:03,708
We playing today?
Or what's going on?
118
00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:06,244
Hold up, hold up.
Hold up, hold up. Hold up.
119
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:09,381
So you could say,
"look out, you [bleep]
120
00:04:09,383 --> 00:04:11,516
You dirty dirtbag.
You son of a bitch." [bleep]
that's not me.
121
00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:13,451
Surprise serve it to her now.
"suck it!"
122
00:04:13,453 --> 00:04:15,187
Get ready --
suck it!
123
00:04:15,189 --> 00:04:16,121
[ laughter ]
124
00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:19,925
You scared?
125
00:04:20,995 --> 00:04:22,126
Murr:
I can't believe he said it!
126
00:04:22,128 --> 00:04:23,127
Too hard?
127
00:04:23,129 --> 00:04:26,198
No, the words.
The yelling.
128
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,200
"I didn't know
you would say it, cole."
129
00:04:28,202 --> 00:04:29,267
You got to get him back.
130
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,669
I'm like...
131
00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:32,471
[ laughter ]
132
00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:36,941
Q: Look at sal
covering his face.
133
00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:38,142
You have a...
134
00:04:38,144 --> 00:04:39,878
You're
a massage therapist,
135
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:42,681
So you have -- actually,
you have a gentle touch.
136
00:04:42,683 --> 00:04:44,349
Just say "good luck."
"good luck with this."
137
00:04:44,351 --> 00:04:45,217
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
138
00:04:45,219 --> 00:04:46,485
Good luck with this.
139
00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:48,220
Go "massage this, bitch!"
140
00:04:48,222 --> 00:04:50,355
Massage this, bitch!
141
00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:51,690
[ laughter ]
142
00:04:54,761 --> 00:04:57,362
He has no right
calling you that.
143
00:04:57,364 --> 00:04:58,563
That's how you taught me
to play.
144
00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:00,632
No, I know, but he's trying
to get into your head.
145
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:01,834
All right, toby.
146
00:05:01,836 --> 00:05:03,502
"return this,
you blind blonde [bleep]"
147
00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:04,769
Give him hell.
148
00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:06,171
Blind blond [bleep]
149
00:05:06,173 --> 00:05:07,806
[ laughter ]
150
00:05:10,845 --> 00:05:12,577
I can't play like that.
151
00:05:12,579 --> 00:05:13,645
You're not playing me
right now.
152
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,313
"sorry, lieutenant."
sorry, lieutenant.
153
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:16,715
Please fall in line, sir.
Sorry.
154
00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:18,650
[ laughter ]
155
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:19,718
Okay.
156
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:21,586
Go over-the-top wrong.
157
00:05:21,588 --> 00:05:23,722
God doesn't love you,
you [bleep] bag.
158
00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:26,391
You fat, stupid [bleep]
159
00:05:26,393 --> 00:05:27,860
You losing
piece of [bleep]
160
00:05:27,862 --> 00:05:29,794
Cole, call him
a stinky nutsack.
161
00:05:29,796 --> 00:05:31,196
Stinky nutsack.
162
00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:32,464
Oh, my god.
163
00:05:32,466 --> 00:05:33,465
[ laughter ]
164
00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:35,300
[ ding! ]
murr: He did it.
165
00:05:37,204 --> 00:05:38,937
Q: There you go.
166
00:05:38,939 --> 00:05:40,539
Hi. What's your name?
Lisa.
167
00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:42,140
Hi, lisa. Pleasure to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
168
00:05:42,142 --> 00:05:44,276
I'm gonna hit a couple opposite
you, okay? One second.
169
00:05:44,278 --> 00:05:46,945
"the safe word
for today is 'mommy.'"
170
00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:47,880
Oh, and, lisa, remember --
171
00:05:47,882 --> 00:05:49,748
The safe word for today
is "mommy."
172
00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:51,083
Okay.
173
00:05:51,085 --> 00:05:53,285
[ laughter ]
174
00:05:53,287 --> 00:05:55,220
Murr, you are not
gonna believe
175
00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:58,223
How similar you guys are.
176
00:05:58,225 --> 00:06:00,825
Start asking
her questions.
177
00:06:00,827 --> 00:06:01,826
You married?
178
00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:04,028
I am.
Sal: "ah, me too."
179
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:06,164
Me too. How many years?
180
00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:07,832
About seven.
"me too."
181
00:06:07,834 --> 00:06:10,235
Me too.
182
00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:11,904
You're slowly assuming
her identity.
183
00:06:11,906 --> 00:06:13,238
You're becoming her.
184
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:15,908
With every volley,
you become 5% more lisa.
185
00:06:15,910 --> 00:06:17,776
What -- what do you do
for a living, lisa?
186
00:06:17,778 --> 00:06:19,377
I'm actually
in between jobs.
187
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,445
I'm actually moving.
Me too.
188
00:06:20,447 --> 00:06:21,713
Oh, where are you
moving to?
189
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:23,047
Oh, no, no.
I'm in between...
190
00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:24,449
Oh, you're in between jobs.
Yeah. Yeah.
191
00:06:24,451 --> 00:06:26,318
Where are you moving to?
We're moving to naples.
192
00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:28,320
Oh, my god.
That's where I would move, too.
193
00:06:28,322 --> 00:06:30,923
[ laughter ]
194
00:06:30,925 --> 00:06:32,124
You have kids?
195
00:06:32,126 --> 00:06:33,726
I do.
I have two teenagers.
196
00:06:33,728 --> 00:06:34,927
Me too.
197
00:06:34,929 --> 00:06:36,661
Sal:
"natural or c-section?"
198
00:06:36,663 --> 00:06:39,197
We-- [ laughs ]
199
00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:41,133
[ laughter ]
200
00:06:41,135 --> 00:06:43,936
That's okay. It was meant
for you not to say it.
201
00:06:43,938 --> 00:06:45,670
[ laughter ]
202
00:06:45,672 --> 00:06:47,672
Q: He can't get it out.
Look at him.
203
00:06:47,674 --> 00:06:48,673
Here we go.
204
00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:51,744
Murr, we'll let you keep going.
Turn's not over yet!
205
00:06:51,746 --> 00:06:53,946
Cole, just walk over and say,
"james, I'm so sorry,
206
00:06:53,948 --> 00:06:56,281
But your wife has been
in a car accident."
207
00:06:56,283 --> 00:06:59,217
James, I'm so sorry. Your wife
has been in a car accident.
208
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:01,286
Oh, no.
Sal: Murr, you do not care.
209
00:07:01,288 --> 00:07:02,687
Pickleball
is all that matters.
210
00:07:02,689 --> 00:07:04,889
But she knows I'm in
a pickleball lesson. Right?
211
00:07:04,891 --> 00:07:05,958
I don't know.
212
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,892
Go.
213
00:07:07,894 --> 00:07:09,027
Cole,
just find somebody else.
214
00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:10,629
It's probably a fender bender.
She's fine.
215
00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:11,630
I'm in the middle
of a lesson.
216
00:07:11,632 --> 00:07:13,565
Okay, lisa.
Here we go. Chop-chop.
217
00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:15,900
[ laughter ]
218
00:07:15,902 --> 00:07:17,902
They're admitting her
to the hospital.
219
00:07:17,904 --> 00:07:20,438
"did you tell her I was
in the middle of a lesson?"
220
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,307
Did you tell her
about the lesson I'm in, though?
221
00:07:22,309 --> 00:07:24,509
Yeah, but she's going
to the hospital.
222
00:07:24,511 --> 00:07:26,445
No, lisa. Come on.
No, I can't do that.
223
00:07:26,447 --> 00:07:28,380
No, it's okay.
No, no, no, no, no!
224
00:07:28,382 --> 00:07:30,582
Murr, you're gonna lose
if she leaves.
225
00:07:30,584 --> 00:07:33,585
Lisa, come back.
We're in the middle...
226
00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:35,854
Lisa, it's a good game
we got on.
227
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:39,091
O sorry.
Lisa, come back.
We're in the middle...
228
00:07:39,093 --> 00:07:40,492
Your wife
has been in a car accident.
229
00:07:40,494 --> 00:07:43,027
No, lisa. Come on.
No, I can't do that.
230
00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:45,029
No, it's okay.
No, no, no, no, no!
231
00:07:45,031 --> 00:07:47,031
Q: Murr, you're gonna lose
if she leaves.
232
00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:48,901
Lisa, come back.
We're in the middle...
233
00:07:48,903 --> 00:07:51,370
My wife's gonna be fine,
lisa!
234
00:07:51,372 --> 00:07:53,105
[ laughter ]
235
00:07:53,107 --> 00:07:55,307
She's a bad driver.
It's on her.
236
00:07:55,309 --> 00:07:58,643
Murr, you done messed up.
Hit the music!
237
00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:02,114
[ horn honking ]
oh [bleep] come on!
238
00:08:02,116 --> 00:08:04,983
-Move it.
-Oh, it's murray's stepdad.
239
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:06,719
Sal: Back from last season!
240
00:08:06,721 --> 00:08:09,722
My wife's in the hospital.
I got to go, stepdad.
241
00:08:09,724 --> 00:08:12,056
[ laughter ]
come on, bring it in.
242
00:08:12,058 --> 00:08:13,325
Good.
How are you doing?
243
00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:14,927
Yeah! [ laughs ]
244
00:08:14,929 --> 00:08:17,195
Aah! Aah!
245
00:08:17,197 --> 00:08:18,397
[ laughing ] yeah.
246
00:08:18,399 --> 00:08:20,265
You here
playing pickleball?
247
00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:21,866
Let me see.
Let me see what you got.
248
00:08:21,868 --> 00:08:23,468
A couple of swings,
all right?
249
00:08:23,470 --> 00:08:24,536
[ laughter ]
250
00:08:24,538 --> 00:08:27,406
30 miles per hour.
All right, come on.
251
00:08:27,408 --> 00:08:30,074
All right, the ball's
coming at you. All right?
Come on!
252
00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:31,810
You got to know how to swing.
It's a 45 angle.
253
00:08:31,812 --> 00:08:33,612
Hey!
Why is this my life?
254
00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:36,281
Whoo! Pickleball!
255
00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:39,017
[ laughter ]
256
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,752
I'll see you.
Stay out of trouble.
257
00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:42,154
[bleep] my ass hurts.
258
00:08:42,156 --> 00:08:43,155
[ buzzer ]
259
00:08:43,157 --> 00:08:45,223
-Dunh-dunh!
-Yes.
260
00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:47,492
Narrator:
Murr got himself into a pickle,
261
00:08:47,494 --> 00:08:51,029
Making him first up
on the loser board.
262
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,831
Today we're at nook coffee,
and, dang it,
263
00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:54,899
We just missed out
on winning a gift card
264
00:08:54,901 --> 00:08:56,901
For being the 100th customer.
Aw!
265
00:08:56,903 --> 00:08:58,771
So now we're gonna have
to guilt the customer
266
00:08:58,773 --> 00:09:01,106
Into giving us the gift card
they just won
267
00:09:01,108 --> 00:09:03,041
Without directly asking
for it.
268
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,909
Aw! The catch is, the reason
269
00:09:04,911 --> 00:09:05,978
For the guilt trip will be
270
00:09:05,980 --> 00:09:07,712
Given to us by the other guys.
271
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:09,982
And if you can't get
that gift card back, you lose.
272
00:09:09,984 --> 00:09:11,450
Aw!
-Aw!
273
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:16,721
Sal: Oh, yeah.
And we're in.
274
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:19,391
Q: Oh, my god.
Look at this.
275
00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:21,259
What is happening?
What is this outfit?
276
00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:22,594
What?
What is this outfit?
277
00:09:22,596 --> 00:09:23,462
We're in brooklyn.
278
00:09:23,464 --> 00:09:24,997
Oh, my god, dude.
Oh.
279
00:09:24,999 --> 00:09:27,399
This season, I'm trying out
every look possible
280
00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:29,001
Until I find
my signature look.
281
00:09:29,003 --> 00:09:30,935
You can check
one look off your list
282
00:09:30,937 --> 00:09:32,937
Because this ain't it
for you.
283
00:09:32,939 --> 00:09:34,339
All right, all right.
Here we go.
284
00:09:34,341 --> 00:09:36,408
Do you know what you want?
I don't know what I want yet.
285
00:09:36,410 --> 00:09:37,942
You can go --
you can go ahead. Go ahead.
286
00:09:37,944 --> 00:09:40,545
As fate would have it, this guy
is about to win a gift card.
287
00:09:40,547 --> 00:09:43,215
Oh, wow. Congrats.
You're the 100th customer.
288
00:09:43,217 --> 00:09:45,484
Wait.
So you just won
a $20 gift card.
289
00:09:45,486 --> 00:09:48,687
[ laughter ]
290
00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:50,088
Q: Did you see that?
291
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,657
Murr, don't say anything.
Just stare at him.
292
00:09:58,365 --> 00:10:00,265
You got a $20 gift card?
293
00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:05,637
[ laughter ]
294
00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:06,905
You were the 100th to order,
295
00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:09,307
But not the...
100th in line,
296
00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:11,910
'cause do you remember,
like, a minute or two ago?
297
00:10:11,912 --> 00:10:13,311
[ laughter ]
298
00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:15,180
Do you remember, like --
do you remember that?
299
00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:16,448
Like, do you remember that,
like...
300
00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:18,783
Do you remember that, like,
that we had...
301
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:20,318
Remember, like,
how we had...
302
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:21,653
Remember how we, like...
303
00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:23,522
-♪ ba-ba-bum, ba-ba-bum ♪
-look at the guy's face.
304
00:10:23,524 --> 00:10:25,057
Do you remember?
Do you remember, like,
305
00:10:25,059 --> 00:10:26,458
I didn't know what I wanted,
but then I switched...
306
00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:27,726
You remember that?
Like, I switched.
307
00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:28,927
Yeah.
Remember that?
308
00:10:28,929 --> 00:10:30,995
Mm-hmm. Yes.
You remember that?
309
00:10:30,997 --> 00:10:32,130
Do you want me to get you
something?
310
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:33,131
No, you know what it is?
311
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,332
"on this exact day"...
312
00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:35,800
On this exact day...
313
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:37,402
"...Five years ago..."
...Five years ago...
314
00:10:37,404 --> 00:10:38,737
"...I was a second late..."
315
00:10:38,739 --> 00:10:40,472
...I was a second late...
316
00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:42,340
"...In saying goodbye
to my nana."
317
00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:44,076
...In saying goodbye
to my nana.
318
00:10:44,078 --> 00:10:45,410
Oh [bleep]
319
00:10:45,412 --> 00:10:47,079
[ laughter ]
320
00:10:47,081 --> 00:10:51,015
And today I'm a second late
on getting that gift card.
321
00:10:51,017 --> 00:10:52,084
Yeah.
322
00:10:52,086 --> 00:10:54,219
[ laughter ]
323
00:10:54,221 --> 00:10:55,688
Yellow was
her favorite color.
324
00:10:55,690 --> 00:10:56,955
I do like that shirt.
325
00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:58,557
You like the shirt?
Yeah.
326
00:10:58,559 --> 00:11:01,359
Today's the five-year
anniversary of nana's death.
327
00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:02,427
"my ill nana."
328
00:11:02,429 --> 00:11:03,828
My ill [laughs]
329
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:06,565
My ill nana died.
330
00:11:06,567 --> 00:11:08,433
Died five years ago.
And so you think
that me giving you this
331
00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:10,302
Would fix that?
Murr, misunderstand.
332
00:11:10,304 --> 00:11:12,571
Think he just told you
he's gonna give it to you.
333
00:11:12,573 --> 00:11:13,705
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
334
00:11:13,707 --> 00:11:15,240
That's so nice. Thank you.
'cause...
335
00:11:15,242 --> 00:11:16,374
Yeah, you think
that would help?
336
00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:17,910
Thank you so much. Yes.
That's so kind of you.
337
00:11:17,912 --> 00:11:19,043
Okay. Yeah.
Thank you so much.
338
00:11:19,045 --> 00:11:21,446
-He did it!
-Oh, my god!
339
00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:23,848
My ill nana is happy
in heaven right now.
340
00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:24,983
[ ding!, laughter ]
341
00:11:26,587 --> 00:11:28,987
Oh, it all looks
so good.
342
00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:30,054
Murr: Here we go. Q.
343
00:11:30,056 --> 00:11:31,590
You know what you want,
sir?
344
00:11:31,592 --> 00:11:33,258
Oh, I'm sorry. You can go ahead.
No, no, no.
345
00:11:33,260 --> 00:11:34,727
I'm taking forever
to decide.
346
00:11:34,729 --> 00:11:35,994
All right, cole.
Go big.
347
00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:37,930
Whoa!
348
00:11:37,932 --> 00:11:39,064
You're the 100th customer.
349
00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:40,198
Hey, I like that.
350
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,401
You just won
a $20 gift card.
351
00:11:42,403 --> 00:11:43,736
Appreciate that, bro.
352
00:11:43,738 --> 00:11:46,671
Murr: Ok, q, try to get him
to give you the card.
353
00:11:46,673 --> 00:11:48,073
[ laughs ]
354
00:11:48,075 --> 00:11:49,141
What was that
I just heard?
355
00:11:49,143 --> 00:11:50,408
He's the 100th customer.
356
00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:51,676
Ohh.
357
00:11:51,678 --> 00:11:53,411
"it's a bad day
for me," q.
358
00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:55,347
Today, of all days,
that happened to me.
359
00:11:55,349 --> 00:11:57,816
"I just found out
that my ex-wife's new husband
360
00:11:57,818 --> 00:11:59,017
Is taye diggs."
361
00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:00,885
[ laughter ]
362
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,154
[ laughing ] you know...
363
00:12:02,156 --> 00:12:06,358
I just found out today
that my ex-wife is marrying
364
00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:08,226
Taye diggs.
What?
365
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,762
Taye diggs.
366
00:12:09,764 --> 00:12:11,896
But here I am,
just a loser on all fronts.
367
00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:14,098
You know, I found
my first gray hair today.
368
00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:15,033
You know what that's like.
369
00:12:15,035 --> 00:12:17,836
Your whole face and head
is gray.
370
00:12:17,838 --> 00:12:19,805
I just found it today,
so...
371
00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:26,979
Oh, that's very nice of you
to offer me that half measure,
372
00:12:26,981 --> 00:12:29,514
But you're gonna be
sipping that coffee
373
00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:32,050
While my wife is sipping
taye diggs.
374
00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:33,852
[ laughter ]
ooh!
375
00:12:33,854 --> 00:12:34,919
[ sobs ]
376
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:37,922
-Ooh.
-"gimme. Gimme it. Gimme it."
377
00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:40,525
Just gimme it.
Taye diggs.
378
00:12:40,527 --> 00:12:42,460
If only one thing would go right
for me today.
379
00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:44,463
If only one thing.
380
00:12:44,465 --> 00:12:46,331
"I woke up with a cockroach
in my mouth."
381
00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:48,667
I woke up with a cockroach
in my mouth this morning, and --
382
00:12:48,669 --> 00:12:49,934
What's this?!
383
00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:53,271
Yeah!
He gave it to me.
384
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:55,273
Ah!
385
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,009
There's still good people
here in new york.
386
00:12:57,011 --> 00:12:58,677
[ ding! ]
murr: He gave him the card.
387
00:12:58,679 --> 00:13:00,945
Okay. Here we go, sal.
388
00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:02,547
Actually, I'm still deciding.
You can go ahead.
389
00:13:02,549 --> 00:13:03,682
All right.
390
00:13:03,684 --> 00:13:05,017
Q: Uh-oh, cole.
Good news.
391
00:13:05,019 --> 00:13:06,751
That's 100th customer
of the day.
392
00:13:06,753 --> 00:13:09,021
Oh. You're the 100th customer
of the day.
393
00:13:09,023 --> 00:13:11,089
You just won
a $20 gift card.
394
00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:13,558
Oh, my god.
Oh, no.
He's the 100th customer.
395
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:15,159
Oh, I thought
you were talking to...
396
00:13:15,161 --> 00:13:16,294
To me because I was...
397
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,096
Sorry.
398
00:13:18,098 --> 00:13:19,398
Oh.
399
00:13:21,435 --> 00:13:24,236
"I mean, I thought it was for me
because today's my birthday."
400
00:13:24,238 --> 00:13:25,804
Today's my birthday.
401
00:13:29,176 --> 00:13:31,443
[ q laughs ]
402
00:13:31,445 --> 00:13:33,978
I mean, plead your case.
403
00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:36,048
Do something.
You're gonna lose him.
404
00:13:36,050 --> 00:13:38,250
I thought I was having
birthday luck.
405
00:13:38,252 --> 00:13:40,385
[ q laughs ]
406
00:13:40,387 --> 00:13:42,721
"sir,
could I hold it for a second?"
407
00:13:42,723 --> 00:13:44,122
Q: "sir?"
408
00:13:44,124 --> 00:13:45,990
"oh, sir."
sir?
409
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:47,125
Would it be cool if I held it
for a second
410
00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:49,061
And took a picture with it
so I could text my friends
411
00:13:49,063 --> 00:13:50,328
And tell them I won
on my birthday?
412
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,130
Just, please...
413
00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:53,131
Stop talking.
414
00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:54,199
[ q laughs ]
415
00:13:54,201 --> 00:13:55,534
About the gift card,
stop talking,
416
00:13:55,536 --> 00:13:57,202
Or just in general?
417
00:13:57,204 --> 00:14:01,005
Q: This is the toughest nut
to crack I've ever seen.
418
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:02,141
Murr: You're done.
419
00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:06,311
Ard. You're done.
Q: This is the toughest nut
to crack I've ever seen.
420
00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:08,947
Q: This is the toughest nut
to crack I've ever seen.
421
00:14:10,317 --> 00:14:11,983
Oh, you're talking
about the gift card or no?
422
00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:13,451
[ laughter ]
423
00:14:13,453 --> 00:14:14,786
Okay. No, I didn't.
Did you order? Did you order?
424
00:14:14,788 --> 00:14:16,788
I was gonna order.
That was my question.
425
00:14:16,790 --> 00:14:18,790
And then
that gift card was given out.
426
00:14:18,792 --> 00:14:20,125
You probably don't know
what I was talking about.
427
00:14:20,127 --> 00:14:21,327
I was about to order.
428
00:14:21,329 --> 00:14:23,995
And then when -- I was waiting,
and then he got lucky.
429
00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:25,397
He went, and they gave away
a gift card...
430
00:14:25,399 --> 00:14:26,865
Got it. Okay. Okay.
...For the 100th customer.
431
00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:27,933
So I missed it.
432
00:14:27,935 --> 00:14:29,067
Okay.
Yeah.
433
00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:30,402
[ laughter ]
434
00:14:30,404 --> 00:14:31,403
Q:
Hey, cole, guess what.
435
00:14:31,405 --> 00:14:33,671
This customer
is winning a gift card, too.
436
00:14:33,673 --> 00:14:36,408
Oh, wow!
102nd customer.
437
00:14:36,410 --> 00:14:38,877
You got a $20 gift card,
as well.
Oh, come on, dude.
438
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:41,146
-Oh, really?
-Sal, if you can get a gift card
439
00:14:41,148 --> 00:14:43,949
From either one of them, buddy,
I'll give it to you.
440
00:14:43,951 --> 00:14:47,419
It's my birthday, so...
441
00:14:47,421 --> 00:14:49,154
He's gone.
That's one down.
442
00:14:49,156 --> 00:14:51,823
She's your last hope.
443
00:14:51,825 --> 00:14:53,892
[ laughter ]
444
00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:55,026
That's a thumbs-down.
445
00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:56,027
What the [bleep]
446
00:14:56,029 --> 00:14:58,564
[ buzzer, laughter ]
447
00:14:58,566 --> 00:15:00,966
Narrator:
Sal couldn't get a coffee break.
448
00:15:00,968 --> 00:15:04,636
So he and murr
are tonight's big losers.
449
00:15:04,638 --> 00:15:07,505
Okay, so murr and sal
have no idea what's going on.
450
00:15:07,507 --> 00:15:09,441
But I brought in my actor friend
paul scheer
451
00:15:09,443 --> 00:15:11,843
To host a game show
that I created.
452
00:15:11,845 --> 00:15:14,980
It's like the craziest
japanese game show you ever saw.
453
00:15:14,982 --> 00:15:16,714
I've been thinking
about this one forever.
454
00:15:16,716 --> 00:15:19,184
I cannot wait for you to see it.
Let's go.
455
00:15:19,186 --> 00:15:21,453
All right, guys, you got to keep
your voices down, okay?
456
00:15:21,455 --> 00:15:23,855
You guys lost.
And for your punishment,
457
00:15:23,857 --> 00:15:25,591
All you have to do...
I don't like this at all.
458
00:15:25,593 --> 00:15:27,058
...Is just walk through
those curtains.
459
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:28,260
That's it?
That's the intro?
460
00:15:28,262 --> 00:15:29,395
Go start
your punishment.
461
00:15:29,397 --> 00:15:32,530
You go first.
[ laughs ] you go first.
462
00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:34,332
Is something
gonna hit me?
463
00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:35,467
Nothing's gonna hit you.
464
00:15:35,469 --> 00:15:36,435
You got it.
465
00:15:38,406 --> 00:15:41,273
[ cheers and applause ]
466
00:15:41,275 --> 00:15:44,742
♪♪
467
00:15:44,744 --> 00:15:47,078
All right. So the guys
just walked into a game show
468
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:48,747
Of my own design
called "tails!,"
469
00:15:48,749 --> 00:15:50,148
And we got
paul scheer to host it.
470
00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:51,883
Oh, guys,
I have been waiting for this one
471
00:15:51,885 --> 00:15:53,151
For a long, long time.
472
00:15:53,153 --> 00:15:55,621
I think you're gonna love it.
Welcome to "tails!"
473
00:15:55,623 --> 00:15:56,822
[ applause ]
474
00:15:56,824 --> 00:16:00,225
Hey, everybody!
Ha ha ha!
475
00:16:00,227 --> 00:16:04,630
Well, welcome to "tails!"
476
00:16:04,632 --> 00:16:08,700
The only game show where
our contestants guess the animal
477
00:16:08,702 --> 00:16:10,969
By putting the tail...
478
00:16:10,971 --> 00:16:13,771
Together: In their mouth.
479
00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:15,373
Oh, man.
480
00:16:15,375 --> 00:16:17,976
[ q laughs ]
481
00:16:17,978 --> 00:16:19,711
Welcome to "tails!"
482
00:16:19,713 --> 00:16:22,180
Paul:
Let's meet our competitors.
483
00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:26,852
First up, we have james,
a dog owner from new jersey.
484
00:16:26,854 --> 00:16:30,188
Our next contestant, salvatore,
loves cats so much
485
00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:33,659
That one time he actually
covered himself in them.
486
00:16:33,661 --> 00:16:35,994
[ laughs ]
487
00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:37,395
Look at their faces.
488
00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:39,597
Guys, you get what you have
to do here, right?
489
00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:42,200
The rules
are very, very simple.
490
00:16:42,202 --> 00:16:44,736
Okay?
You're gonna be blindfolded.
491
00:16:44,738 --> 00:16:46,271
You're gonna put that
animal tail in your mouth
492
00:16:46,273 --> 00:16:49,207
To guess, "whose tail
is in my mouth?"
493
00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:50,542
Clearly,
this is just an excuse
494
00:16:50,544 --> 00:16:51,877
To put tails
in my friends' mouths.
495
00:16:51,879 --> 00:16:53,545
But that's what happens
when you lose.
496
00:16:53,547 --> 00:16:54,680
Are you ready,
contestants?
497
00:16:54,682 --> 00:16:56,348
Yes.
Sure.
498
00:16:56,350 --> 00:16:58,616
Donkey pound,
are you ready?!
499
00:16:58,618 --> 00:16:59,551
Together: Yeah!
500
00:16:59,553 --> 00:17:00,618
All right, then.
501
00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:03,355
Together:
Let's play "tails!"
502
00:17:03,357 --> 00:17:05,157
[ laughs ]
503
00:17:05,159 --> 00:17:08,226
James, please put
on your blindfold.
504
00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:09,828
Okay. Send in the tail.
505
00:17:09,830 --> 00:17:11,763
Let's bring out
the first tail.
506
00:17:11,765 --> 00:17:14,833
Please welcome
vanna black cat.
507
00:17:14,835 --> 00:17:15,834
There it is.
508
00:17:15,836 --> 00:17:17,369
[ audience "oohs" ]
509
00:17:17,371 --> 00:17:18,904
[ laughs ]
510
00:17:18,906 --> 00:17:20,438
Now, I do want
to remind everybody
511
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:22,708
That the tails obtained
in the show "tails!"
512
00:17:22,710 --> 00:17:25,711
Are predominantly roadkill.
513
00:17:25,713 --> 00:17:27,880
[ q laughs ]
514
00:17:29,783 --> 00:17:32,050
Now, james, vanna is going
515
00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:34,052
To put the tail
in your mouth.
516
00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:36,121
Open wide.
Open wide.
517
00:17:36,123 --> 00:17:37,255
Get that tail in his mouth.
518
00:17:37,257 --> 00:17:38,524
I need
that tail in his mouth.
519
00:17:38,526 --> 00:17:40,926
Open. Open. All right.
520
00:17:40,928 --> 00:17:43,395
[ q laughs, audience "ohhs" ]
521
00:17:43,397 --> 00:17:45,564
You guys are playing "tails!"
now, baby.
522
00:17:47,268 --> 00:17:49,935
That tail
[in your mouth.Ience "ohhs" ]
523
00:17:49,937 --> 00:17:53,605
Q: All right. Let's see if
murray can identify that tail.
524
00:17:53,607 --> 00:17:55,407
[ laughs ]
525
00:17:55,409 --> 00:17:57,476
I think salvatore
is a little jealous
526
00:17:57,478 --> 00:17:58,610
He didn't get this tail.
527
00:17:58,612 --> 00:18:00,479
[ gagging ]
oh, yeah.
528
00:18:00,481 --> 00:18:02,347
He's tasting it.
529
00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:05,350
Oh, and now
really tongue it.
530
00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:07,085
[ q laughs ]
531
00:18:07,087 --> 00:18:08,887
James, here's your clue.
532
00:18:08,889 --> 00:18:11,623
You'll go hog-wild
for this tail.
533
00:18:11,625 --> 00:18:13,825
[ muffled ]
uh, is it a pig?
534
00:18:13,827 --> 00:18:15,494
[ ding! ]
that's right.
535
00:18:15,496 --> 00:18:17,829
Great job, james.
536
00:18:17,831 --> 00:18:21,100
James, was it exciting to taste
a pig tail in your mouth?
537
00:18:21,102 --> 00:18:22,901
What is
this game show?
538
00:18:22,903 --> 00:18:25,436
It's "tails!"
539
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,639
The only game show
where you guess the animal
540
00:18:27,641 --> 00:18:31,376
By putting the tail
in your mouth.
541
00:18:31,378 --> 00:18:32,711
The rules
are pretty simple.
542
00:18:32,713 --> 00:18:34,646
Oh [bleep]
543
00:18:34,648 --> 00:18:36,115
[ q laughing ]
544
00:18:36,117 --> 00:18:37,983
Q: Look at the audience.
545
00:18:37,985 --> 00:18:40,319
But do we --
am I getting points or...
546
00:18:40,321 --> 00:18:41,787
Yeah, you get points.
Oh, okay.
547
00:18:41,789 --> 00:18:44,255
And right now, you have a chance
to tie up the game, salvatore.
548
00:18:44,257 --> 00:18:47,392
Let's get ready
to taste that tail.
549
00:18:47,394 --> 00:18:49,060
Vanna!
550
00:18:49,062 --> 00:18:50,529
Q: Here we go, sal.
551
00:18:50,531 --> 00:18:53,732
Ooh. That's right.
552
00:18:53,734 --> 00:18:56,935
Vanna is presenting the tail.
And this is a juicy one.
553
00:18:56,937 --> 00:18:59,138
Not literally.
It's very hairy.
554
00:18:59,140 --> 00:19:02,473
Salvatore, open your mouth
really wide. Here we go.
555
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,943
Salvatore, open up
that mouth really wide.
556
00:19:04,945 --> 00:19:06,678
-Open!
-Open!
557
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:08,413
Q: Open it!
It's a punishment!
558
00:19:08,415 --> 00:19:11,616
It's a punishment. You have to
put that tail in your mouth.
559
00:19:11,618 --> 00:19:14,419
Open that mouth.
560
00:19:14,421 --> 00:19:15,487
[ gags ]
561
00:19:16,824 --> 00:19:19,024
Lick it. Mouth it.
562
00:19:19,026 --> 00:19:21,026
I'm gonna let you taste it
for a second more
563
00:19:21,028 --> 00:19:22,227
Before I give you a clue.
564
00:19:22,229 --> 00:19:24,896
[ gags ]
565
00:19:24,898 --> 00:19:29,234
There's no masking
what this little bandit is.
566
00:19:29,236 --> 00:19:31,102
What tail is that?
567
00:19:31,104 --> 00:19:32,437
[ q laughs ]
568
00:19:32,439 --> 00:19:33,572
[ laughs ]
569
00:19:33,574 --> 00:19:34,639
[ muffled ] a raccoon?
570
00:19:34,641 --> 00:19:35,640
A raccoon.
571
00:19:35,642 --> 00:19:37,909
[ ding! ]
that's correct.
572
00:19:37,911 --> 00:19:39,310
[ q laughs ]
573
00:19:39,312 --> 00:19:41,513
[ gags ]
574
00:19:41,515 --> 00:19:43,648
This is going better
than I thought, bud.
575
00:19:43,650 --> 00:19:44,850
[ squawk ]
oh.
576
00:19:44,852 --> 00:19:49,120
That squawk means
it's time for the next round.
577
00:19:49,122 --> 00:19:53,392
Oh, boy. It is time
to play "hot, hot, hot tails!"
578
00:19:53,394 --> 00:19:55,394
Q: Oh, boys, this next round's
my favorite.
579
00:19:55,396 --> 00:19:57,396
This is gonna be great.
You guys are gonna love this.
580
00:19:57,398 --> 00:19:59,798
James, put on
on your blindfold.
581
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:02,801
Please welcome
vanna black cat.
582
00:20:02,803 --> 00:20:05,470
[ applause ]
583
00:20:05,472 --> 00:20:07,138
Whew!
584
00:20:07,140 --> 00:20:11,610
This tail is smothered
in hot sauce.
585
00:20:11,612 --> 00:20:12,744
That's right.
586
00:20:12,746 --> 00:20:14,746
That is --
that is distinct.
587
00:20:14,748 --> 00:20:16,748
[ q laughs ]
588
00:20:16,750 --> 00:20:21,019
Now, vanna, please put that
hot tail in james' mouth.
589
00:20:21,021 --> 00:20:23,422
It's gross, bro.
590
00:20:23,424 --> 00:20:24,756
Oh!
591
00:20:24,758 --> 00:20:28,026
[ q laughs ]
592
00:20:28,028 --> 00:20:30,629
Q: You guys are playing "tails!"
now, baby.
593
00:20:30,631 --> 00:20:34,165
Okay. Now, the hint is,
"hey, there, pilgrim.
594
00:20:34,167 --> 00:20:35,567
Gobble this tail."
595
00:20:37,238 --> 00:20:40,239
Okay.
The animal is a turkey,
596
00:20:40,241 --> 00:20:44,309
And the sauce
was a hot salsa.
597
00:20:44,311 --> 00:20:45,777
[ ding! ]
598
00:20:45,779 --> 00:20:47,312
Yeah!
599
00:20:47,314 --> 00:20:49,048
What the [bleep]
wow.
600
00:20:49,050 --> 00:20:51,316
Yeah, murray!
Yeah, baby.
601
00:20:51,318 --> 00:20:54,453
You got a taste for a hot sauce
and a taste for tails,
602
00:20:54,455 --> 00:20:55,720
This game was made for you.
603
00:20:55,722 --> 00:20:57,122
Salvatore,
put that blindfold on.
604
00:20:57,124 --> 00:21:00,592
Vanna, let's see
our next tail.
605
00:21:00,594 --> 00:21:02,261
[ q laughs ]
606
00:21:02,263 --> 00:21:03,328
Oh, my god.
607
00:21:03,330 --> 00:21:05,664
Oh, great. [bleep]
ooh.
608
00:21:05,666 --> 00:21:08,800
This is another hard tail,
salvatore --
609
00:21:08,802 --> 00:21:12,204
Not in difficulty to guess,
but in texture.
610
00:21:14,341 --> 00:21:15,941
Here we go.
611
00:21:18,279 --> 00:21:22,281
[ chanting ] taste it. Taste it.
Taste it. Taste it.
612
00:21:22,283 --> 00:21:24,750
Taste it. Taste it.
613
00:21:24,752 --> 00:21:26,818
You have two
distinct flavors in there.
614
00:21:26,820 --> 00:21:30,622
You get both right,
you will tie the game.
615
00:21:30,624 --> 00:21:32,023
Okay. Your clue.
616
00:21:32,025 --> 00:21:34,225
You just had a "shell"
of a time
617
00:21:34,227 --> 00:21:36,962
Tasting
that southern mammal.
618
00:21:36,964 --> 00:21:39,298
[ q laughs ]
619
00:21:39,300 --> 00:21:43,434
Southern mammal.
You had a "shell" of a time.
620
00:21:43,436 --> 00:21:44,503
Lobster?
621
00:21:44,505 --> 00:21:47,706
Lobsters are
a southern mammal.
622
00:21:47,708 --> 00:21:49,508
[ buzzer, audience groans ]
623
00:21:49,510 --> 00:21:52,443
Yeah.
624
00:21:52,445 --> 00:21:53,779
James, you want to guess?
625
00:21:53,781 --> 00:21:55,180
Was that an armadillo?
626
00:21:55,182 --> 00:21:58,784
That was an armadillo.
Wow. Wow. Wow.
627
00:21:58,786 --> 00:22:01,853
Another point for james.
He saw it! He saw it!
628
00:22:01,855 --> 00:22:03,789
He saw it!
629
00:22:03,791 --> 00:22:06,257
Right from the donkey pound,
they're screaming, "you suck."
630
00:22:06,259 --> 00:22:07,258
Let's all yell at him.
631
00:22:07,260 --> 00:22:08,927
You suck!
632
00:22:08,929 --> 00:22:11,330
Yeah.
633
00:22:11,332 --> 00:22:12,731
All right, paul.
Time to announce the winner.
634
00:22:12,733 --> 00:22:14,265
Let's bring it home, baby.
635
00:22:14,267 --> 00:22:19,204
Our winner today of "tails!"
is james.
636
00:22:19,206 --> 00:22:20,339
[ cheers and applause ]
637
00:22:20,341 --> 00:22:21,540
[ ting! ]
638
00:22:22,475 --> 00:22:25,144
Q: Oh, you're not done yet,
buddy.
639
00:22:25,146 --> 00:22:28,613
Salvatore. You are not
going home empty-handed.
640
00:22:28,615 --> 00:22:31,150
So we actually want
to give you something.
641
00:22:31,152 --> 00:22:35,754
It is a luxurious fur coat.
Come over here.
642
00:22:35,756 --> 00:22:37,689
I know it's hot,
but you got to put this on.
643
00:22:37,691 --> 00:22:41,893
Okay? And there you go.
Now, look at salvatore.
644
00:22:41,895 --> 00:22:44,763
How do you feel
in this beautiful fur coat?
645
00:22:44,765 --> 00:22:47,566
Weird, hot.
Weird and hot.
646
00:22:47,568 --> 00:22:51,837
Now, james, you've won the game.
Let's see what you won.
647
00:22:51,839 --> 00:22:55,040
Send in the briefcase.
Welcome, alex.
648
00:22:55,042 --> 00:22:59,378
So now this is an opportunity
to put one of the rarest tails
649
00:22:59,380 --> 00:23:01,847
In the world in your mouth.
650
00:23:01,849 --> 00:23:05,050
Please reveal the tail.
651
00:23:05,052 --> 00:23:10,255
Ooh.
It is a dodo bird tail.
652
00:23:10,257 --> 00:23:13,525
Paul, you're gonna put this
one in his mouth yourself, okay?
653
00:23:13,527 --> 00:23:14,593
Here we go.
654
00:23:14,595 --> 00:23:16,661
Now, put it -- oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
655
00:23:16,663 --> 00:23:20,199
Oh, yeah. There it is.
Just take it in. Oh, yeah.
656
00:23:20,201 --> 00:23:23,402
[ laughs ]
657
00:23:23,404 --> 00:23:25,871
Oh, amazing!
658
00:23:25,873 --> 00:23:30,009
You got to taste
a dodo tail.
659
00:23:30,011 --> 00:23:32,811
That's it
for all of us at "tails!"
660
00:23:32,813 --> 00:23:34,413
Thank you for joining us.
661
00:23:34,415 --> 00:23:35,747
All right, send in
the protestor.
662
00:23:35,749 --> 00:23:36,748
Send in the protestor.
663
00:23:36,750 --> 00:23:38,550
Fur is murder!
664
00:23:38,552 --> 00:23:39,684
[ audience gasps ]
665
00:23:39,686 --> 00:23:42,821
[ q laughs ]
666
00:23:42,823 --> 00:23:46,357
Paul: Again, no animals were
harmed in the making of "tails!"
667
00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:47,759
Thanks for joining us.
668
00:23:47,761 --> 00:23:52,497
Tune in next time
for...
669
00:23:52,499 --> 00:23:57,368
"whose tail's in my mouth?"
all right.
670
00:23:57,370 --> 00:24:00,639
Yay! We did it, guys.
We did it.
671
00:24:00,641 --> 00:24:03,308
"tails!"