[ laughter ]
[ screams ]
Let's just get this started.
Are you [bleep] kidding me?
Who's a good girl?
[ laughter ]
[ cymbals crash ]
[ laughs ]
[ laughter ]
Narrator: With special guest kal penn.
Your breath literally smells like [bleep]
[ laughter ]
Today, we are at dominican university
Playing a brand-new game called through the window.
We're going to enter a waiting room by coming in --
Through the window.
...In a fashion of our choosing.
After inexplicably entering -- through the window.
...We'll have to sell a surprise item
To a person waiting in the room.
Whoever sells their item for the least amount of money
After entering --
All: Through the window.
...Then, you lose. [ chuckles ]
Okay, murr. So, you know how this works, right? Yes.
Q: You got a product that sal and I gave you.
It's a loose toaster.
You got to sell it to a guy who, I'm telling you right now,
He's not going to buy it.
Alright. Now, this poor guy is here for a focus group.
He has no idea what's coming.
You ready to go?
Oh, we're ready.
Oh, there he is. Alright.
[ laughs ]
Look at this weirdness.
[ laughter ]
He sees you.
What, are you stalking your prey?
[ laughter ]
♪♪
Hello, friend. What's going on?
Today is your lucky day.
[ laughs ]
[ laughter ]
Okay.
Sal: I can't believe this. I can't believe this.
How are you, my friend? What's your name?
Rob. Alright, friend.
What's going on?
May I join you?
Sure. Okay.
I happened to be walking by. Okay.
And I knew a kindred spirit when I saw one.
[ laughter ]
Do you wake up in the morning
Wondering what to have for breakfast?
Never. You don't?
[ laughter ]
Well, if you were like me, you wake up,
You go into the kitchen,
And you see cold, untoasted bread.
No more.
What I've got here
Is a toaster unlike you've ever seen.
It's my job today to put this in your hands.
Sal: He's looking at you like you're a turd in a suit. Q: [ laughs ]
I feel that you need this.
You need one thing in your life --
Fresh, delicious toast.
I like toast.
[ laughter ]
This retails in stores for upwards of $50, $60,
Sometimes even $70 at the wrong stores.
Not today, friend.
$10 flat.
You can't say no.
Oh, but I can.
[ laughter ]
For only $9.99...
This could be yours.
What if I told you I have three toasters?
[ laughter ]
Sal: Three? Sounds to me like you need a fourth.
The odds that the person has three toasters.
This is unprecedented, but I will drop it.
Half price. $5 for the toaster. Brand new.
You cannot beat that, robert. Friend.
Let's do it.
$2, sold.
$2!
Alright, let's do it.
[ cash register dings ] $2.
Alright. Okay.
Sal: Oh, wow. Wow. I can't believe he sold it.
Now you have a fourth toaster, my friend.
Well done.
Alright, murr. Go out the way you came.
Okay.
Oh, geez.
[ laughter ]
[ ding! ]
Buddy, that was smooth, bro.
The product. Don't know what it is.
It's right here in this briefcase.
It's highly sellable.
You think so?
Yeah.
I don't think you could sell what's in that
If you were jesus himself.
[ laughter ]
Alright, q. This guy's ready to buy.
Alright. Here we go.
Hey!
Hey! Hey! Hey!
[ thud ]
[ laughter ]
[ grunts ] hey!
You think you're gonna sell it by doing that?
[ laughter ]
Holidays are coming, bro.
Holidays are coming. We all need gifts!
And we have today -- sal: What is it?
I got a dolly parton signed baseball for you.
[ laughter ]
This is what the person in your life has been looking for.
A baseball signed by the one and only
America's sweetheart, dolly parton.
Now, normally I would get $10 for this.
What, are you going to give this to me today?
This is real. Dolly parton.
D-o-l-l p-a-r-- yeah, t-I-n.
[ laughter ]
Sal: It's spelled wrong.
It's printed and spelled wrong.
She misspelled her own name, so this is rare.
Murr: Why would she sign a baseball?
I know what you're thinking.
Why did dolly sign on a baseball?
She used to play.
A lot of people don't know this.
She used to play for the yankees.
Yeah. [ laughter ]
We're starting at $10.
No, he's not going for it.
$8.
Give me $8. I'll take $8.
I got $8?
$4. As low as I can go, bro.
I paid 400 bucks for this bad boy.
Oh! Put her there, partner!
[ laughter ]
Murr: He made a sale.
♪♪
[ laughing ] his sneaker came off.
Could you hand me that sneaker?
Thanks, bud.
[ ding! ]
Are you ready to sell that thing, baby?
You guys are giving me a mold of jello to sell?
Everyone loves a jello mold.
Alright, bud, you ready to do this?
♪♪
[ laughter ]
[ window squeaks ]
He points at the door.
Great. Perfect. Got it. [ sighs ]
[ laughter ]
Why you didn't just come in through the front?
Because the window's right here.
Sell the jello.
He still doesn't know what he's in for, this guy.
Salvatore edward anthony michael vulcano.
Nice to meet you. Robert.
Let me ask you a question.
When was the last time...
...You saw jello like that?
[ laughter ]
I haven't seen jello like that in a long time.
Since a long time, right?
Since a kid, maybe. Since a kid.
They don't make the molds like this anymore.
Also, if you notice immediately the waft of cherry.
Do you smell it?
Just lean in. Lean in a little bit.
Jello sells itself. What were we thinking?
I want to know what it's going to take for me to leave here
With the jello here in your possession.
[ laughter ]
So, you're going to get the case.
You're going to get the jello premade mold,
And I'm going to give you five backup jellos,
All for let's call it $10. Oh, no.
At the moment, I'm not interested
In making any purchases. Okay.
Q and murr: [ laughing ] oh!
Would you like to make an offer?
Because I can negotiate.
[ laughter ]
And if you need to taste it, you can taste it.
And if you taste it and don't want it, I'll leave.
But I have a feeling that if you taste it,
I'm not leaving with that jello.
[ laughter ]
Oh, why not?
I have a wife.
Right.
You could tell her all about it.
She's not going to believe
That you came through the window,
And it was a male giving me baked goods.
[ laughter ]
Hold on one second.
Hello.
Yeah, I can fill that order.
Q and murr: [ laughing ] oh!
Q: Very clever, sal.
Yeah, I'm here today, but I'm down to my last ring.
Wow. He's creating demand!
I think he just shot himself in the foot.
I think this guy now feels okay saying no to this.
Just give me one second. I'm with a client.
I don't know, sal.
This might be the wrong approach.
I'll level with you, robert.
This is my main source of income.
I do have six -- six children.
[ laughter ]
I'll do $3.50.
Honestly?
Please, please be honest.
[ laughter ]
Q: He's considering.
Q: Sell the jello.
This is my main source of income.
I'll do $3.50.
Honestly?
Please, please be honest.
I see that you have other offers. Yes.
Someone else is interested.
Oh! Oh!
I respect your hustle.
So, I mean, I'll give you some change from my wallet,
And you can still go sell it to the next buyer.
He's giving you change. He's giving you change.
$0.37.
It's the best I can do.
But I do appreciate your time.
[ laughter ]
Thank you so much.
$0.25, $0.35, $0.37.
Thank you so much.
Let me help you. You gonna help me through the window?
Of course. Thank you.
[ laughter ] q: He's going to help him out.
Thank you so much.
[ laughing ] he's helping him out the window.
[ laughter ]
Thanks, man. Take it easy.
I'll see you, sal. Alright. Thanks.
Q: Dude, he's just watching you walk off.
Sal, do me a favor. Just walk in a circle.
A tight circle. Really?
He's looking. He's looking. He's just staring.
♪♪
[ laughter ]
He's staring at you.
He's [bleep] bewildered, man.
It's like watching an npc in a video game glitch out.
[ buzzer ]
Oh, my god.
Narrator: It was a window of missed opportunity for sal,
Making him first up on the loser board.
Today we're at the american dream mall,
Chatting with people in the food court
And asking them how they met their significant other.
Once we ask that specific question,
We'll have to scarf down whatever food is in front of us,
Which of course, has been provided by the other guys.
If you can't finish your food before they finish their story,
You lose.
Alright, murr-man.
This is sal's worst challenge for me.
He's got to watch and listen to me eat.
[ laughs ]
So, murr, we decided that your food would be chinese food.
Enjoy. What?
[ laughter ]
There you go, buddy.
[ chuckles ] this is...
Let's watch this idiot eat lo mein. [bleep]
[ laughter ]
Eat everything on that plate
Before that guy finishes his story.
Gentlemen.
You know anything about earrings? [ laughs ]
Man: No. No.
I'm sorry. Look at this photo.
Q: Oh, he's in. You think they're big?
I don't know. You think? Is that...
Are you guys married? Do you have kids?
Dating?
Oh, wow. Congrats, man. Thank you.
Alright. Tell me the story.
Tell me from the beginning.
I want to know every detail about how you met your fiance.
Q: Go! Sal: And go!
They're not saying anything about how he's eating,
So that's good.
Murr, you better shovel harder, buddy.
Take care. [ laughs ]
Murr, you better shovel.
[ muffled ] keep going. Yeah.
Uh-huh? Wow.
I had to send behind her son.
Mm-hmm.
You know, due to circumstances...
Sal: There's so much noodles left.
As much as he's eating, there's so much left.
He hasn't made a dent in the noodles.
Murr, you better just bury your face in those noodles.
I'm getting nauseous.
[ laughter ]
Murr, you're lucky this guy's
Really getting into his love story.
Murr has slowed down considerably.
Alright. Finish your food before he finishes his story.
Murr: Yeah?
There's no way to finish this.
Q: Are you tapping out?
I [bleep] can't finish it.
[ laughter ] tapping out.
Murr, you're almost there.
You're almost there.
Q: Alright. Finish your food before he finishes his story.
Murr: Yeah?
There's no way to finish this.
Q: You tapping out?
I [bleep] can't finish it.
[ laughter ] tapping out.
Are you tapping out?
I'm getting the goddamn noodle sweats here.
There's too much noodles.
This bit was your idea.
I can't do it.
I'm gonna throw these noodles out. Back in a sec.
Can't believe he went through that many noodles
And he didn't get it!
Sal: Do you think you can finish that?
No.
Sal: What about if you finish that,
You will get a free pass
To turn any thumbs-down into a thumbs-up?
Free pass?
Yes. This could be the difference
Between having to do a punishment or not.
You'd be screwing one of us.
Sal...
You're on. Wow. Wow.
Oh, I don't know if it's the right idea.
Wow.
I mean, I will say, though, you eat more than anyone I know.
I'm going to throw up.
This is so bad. It's so much noodle.
Are we killing our friend?
[ coughs ]
That is crazy. Wow, buddy. I am shocked.
Oh, my god, man. Wow!
[ coughs ]
Murr, after seeing -- free pass.
...What you just went through,
I'm fine taking the loss on this.
Yeah, I was going to say, murr, I watched you.
Why would I do this? [ laughs ]
You -- [ laughs ]
You mother[bleep] better go.
I will take a thumbs-down, man.
I mean, you don't even want to give it the college try, huh?
I'm going to eat 50% of my thing and then be bloated,
And then you're going to laugh at me.
And I'm in the same spot right now
If I just moonwalk out of here.
[ laughs ]
Guys, as your friend, I'm telling you,
Challenge is over.
[ buzzer ]
Oh. Oh.
Your body is shutting down. I see it.
[ laughter ]
He looks terrible.
[ buzzer ]
Narrator: Murr, q, and sal spoiled their appetite,
Making sal tonight's big loser.
Today, we're here with one of my favorite people,
Actor/writer kal penn.
And he's here to help us punish sal.
That's right. Sal, as you may know,
Kal is a noted academic lecturer.
So, today he's going to be conducting a panel
On public speaking.
That's right. I am the host.
You're the sound guy.
Okay, I see. The sound guy.
And while you mic up the guest panelists,
Your punishment is simple.
You're going to have to tell them
Their breath freaking stinks.
[ laughter ]
Let it sink in. It's simple.
Murr: Here he is. Sal, the sound guy.
So, that's our real sound guy, danny hollis.
Before we send kal in,
The person's going to come out
To get miked up, okay?
And kal is going to give you the first thing to say to them.
I'm excited. I'm very excited. Q: Yeah?
You got a glint in your eyes.
Yeah. Yeah.
You don't have to be that difficult with me.
It's all in, like, you know...
You can direct some of this.
I have never seen the type of backpedaling...
[ laughs ] ...That I'm seeing right now.
Stay tuned.
[ laughter ]
Alright, sal. We're going to send in the panelists.
How you doing? I'm dan.
This is jesse. Jesse, good to meet you.
Go ahead, kal, tell him what to say.
Tell him his breath freaking stinks.
[ laughter ]
We start off with the simplest one, buddy.
Okay, let me just --
Tie up a little bit.
Whatever you want to do. I'm just letting you know.
Wow. Wow. What?
What happened? What's that?
Huh?
Your breath freaking stinks, bro.
Oh, really? Yeah.
[ laughter ]
I like to tell everybody. I appreciate it.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Say to the guy, "have fun.
Don't be self-conscious about your bad breath."
It's going to be a fun, free-flowing conversation.
Absolutely. And don't even be self-conscious
About the bad breath.
Oh, no. [ chuckles ] never.
Okay.
Oh, sal.
This is bad.
You don't think that this is going to be an easy one?
No, man.
[ laughter ]
Alright, kal. Let's go on in. Get in there.
Alright, ladies and gentlemen. This is kal penn.
Hey, everybody.
Oh, yeah.
Kal penn is in the house.
Hey. Kal.
Hey, how you doing, kal? I'm rob.
How you doing, rob?
Murr: Oh, sal, we are ready to go, buddy.
I have such a headache from this stress out here.
Ready on you. Go ahead, kal. Whenever you're ready.
I just want to start with the basics.
How did you get involved in public speaking to begin with?
That's a great question.
I think that some people really have
Kind of a genetic predisposition.
Just let's hold for one second, please.
Just for sound.
I think we're getting some pops on the mic.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Q: Oh, boy, sal. Alright, sal.
Go adjust the mic.
Can you just talk a second, rob?
Testing, testing. One, two.
Q: Sal's about to deliver the bomb.
"your breath smells like a foot."
Or "I think you might have a mouth infection."
Surprise me, buddy.
Okay, now, count to 10.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
Okay, so good.
[ laughing ] sal, it's a punishment. You got to do it.
Oh, my god, sal.
No way.
Whew. Yeah.
Is it breath? Is it that bad?
I think you might have a mouth infection.
Q: Oh! [ laughter ]
And you're saying maybe you have
A highly sensitive sense of smell.
"sure. I'm the problem."
I'm -- I'm not -- I'm not the problem.
What's that?
I said I could smell -- I can get you a water.
"I could help the problem," I said.
Oh, help the problem.
Yeah.
Murr: Oh, god. Oh, my god.
Sal, on the cart there, you've got one of those
Protective masks you put over your face.
[ laughs ]
Slap that on your head.
Alright, sal, go in and check kal and rob's mic.
Slam the face shield down to work on rob.
Can I just see...
[ laughter ]
♪♪
And ready on you, kal. Action.
Sorry about that.
So, basically,
I want to ask about things not to do, right?
I think we're having a lighting issue.
Guys, I'm just going to pause you real quick.
I think this light is flickering.
Are you seeing that, too?
Alright, sal, I'll get a new line.
"I got to be honest."
I got to be honest.
Murr: Everybody's talking about your breath, bro.
Yeah.
[ laughter ]
Uh, I will be honest.
So, everybody's talking about your breath, bro.
Q: Oh!
Only because you're making such a big thing out of it.
Nobody else has been -- oh, I'm just --
I'm not making a big thing. I'm trying to just tell you.
Yeah, you are. You brought it up 18,422 times.
Q: Oh. Murr: Oh.
God.
Oh, I can't take this one.
[ sighs ]
Q: You look defeated.
Now you look like danny hollis looks.
Now you understand
What the audio department goes through.
I swear to god, I swear to god,
I have stomach pains.
I think I have a [bleep] ulcer or something.
Alright, sal, here's your next and final panelist.
What was your name, sir? Isaiah.
Isaiah. Isaiah. Gotcha.
You're going to say, "wow. Breath stinks bad."
[ laughter ]
Ooh, you're so close to him, too.
You're good, but just heads up.
Breath stinks bad.
Okay. Okay.
Man: Isaiah, we'll have you sit down right here.
Let's settle in, everybody.
Poor guy.
Oh, my god. How bad do you feel?
Q: Alright, kal, you ready to get out there
And cause some havoc?
Man: Alright, ladies and gentlemen. Kal penn.
Kal: Hey, everybody.
Hey. Kal. How you doing, man?
Alright, sal. Move on in.
Sal: Alright.
Yeah, sure. Just --
I'm just testing this frequency.
"mouth smells caca."
Are you picking up that crack--
You picking up a crackle?
I'll take a look right now.
Just count down from 10 if you can for me. Okay.
10, 9, 8.
No, no. You're good. You're good.
Breath smells caca, though.
It is what it is? [ laughing ] yeah.
I know.
Oh, my god. [ laughing ] oh.
Alright, kal, I want you to give sal his next line.
Oh, bro, this --
[ laughter ]
Look at kal.
[ laughter ]
Go adjust his mic, sal.
Alright. I chose this life.
So...
Q: Here we go. Here we go.
Sal: It might be a battery issue.
Q: [ laughs ]
Go adjust his mic, sal.
Q: Here we go. Here we go.
Sal: It might be a battery issue.
You know what it is?
Your -- your breath smells like, almost like meat
Murr: [ laughing ] look at kal in the background.
I'm trying to explain to you, like, just so you maybe,
Like, you know, the cheaper flaps of meat.
[ laughter ]
Murr: Sal, down below there, there's binaca.
Get it.
Walk over and just put your hand out in front of his mouth
Ready to spray it.
[ whispering ] isaiah. Isaiah. Isaiah.
Isaiah. You have five seconds to walk away from me.
Murr: Ooh! Q: Oh!
Q: Oh. Oh, my god.
Oh. Oh. Oh.
Brutal. Brutal. Oh! I'd want to go home.
I know. I know.
I'd want to go home.
I think he's going to take a swing at you. Yep.
That was over -- that was over the line.
Q: You think?
Well, it is a punishment, so I shouldn't feel bad.
No. You put yourself in this situation.
You're not doing it. I'm not doing anything.
Part of me thought about leaving the show in that moment.
If murr didn't already own your soul,
It would have left your body in that situation.
I think it's time for kal to realize
That it's sal's breath that stinks.
Yeah.
[ laughter ]
Sal, you got to go check kal's mic.
Sir, we're getting some feedback on your mic.
On mine?
Yeah, I think it's the frequency of the -- sorry, man.
So, you have the -- oh, my god.
What's up?
I just -- your breath, bro.
No, no, no. What?
Your breath literally smells like [bleep]
[ laughter ]
"sal, it's yours. The whole time."
I-I-I-I...
Q: Oh, he's loving it. He's loving it.
Has it been me the whole time?
Clearly.
Your breath literally smells like a [bleep] took a fart.
Or a fart took a [bleep]
Q: The guy's loving it.
Sal: It's not -- it's not -- it's not funny. What, bro?
It's hella funny because you sat here and passed me two mints
And it's your breath that's kicking right now.
[ laughter ] what?
Yeah.
I was trying to help you, though.
No, you was trying to be an asshole.
That's what you were trying to do.
[ laughter ]
But I was never -- I was never making fun of you.
I was never making fun of you.
I was trying to help. Go.
Sal: I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
I mean, I'm with it, alright?
Trying to be nice.
[ laughter ]
Oh, jesus.
Your breath, man.
Alright, alright. I know.
I have medical-grade gum.
We talked about this.
Your breath smells like caca.
I have medical-grade gum.
[ laughter ]
Q: Sal, you're off the hook, bro.
I mean, I don't think it's going to get much worse than that.
Let's just cut. Good job, sal.
How about a hand for kal penn?
Thank you, buddy. Killed it.
Great job, buddy.
[ laughter ]