1
00:00:14,401 --> 00:00:17,359
You didn't say anything
about this online.

2
00:00:17,401 --> 00:00:19,173
Yeah, remember when I

3
00:00:19,215 --> 00:00:21,334
told you about the
experiment I was working on?

4
00:00:22,219 --> 00:00:23,806
No, experiment?

5
00:00:29,948 --> 00:00:32,519
So I'm a sociologist, right?

6
00:00:32,561 --> 00:00:35,069
And I told you that I was really busy.

7
00:00:35,111 --> 00:00:37,279
Right, yeah, you said
you were real busy.

8
00:00:37,321 --> 00:00:38,381
Right, and I
had a lot of work to do.

9
00:00:38,405 --> 00:00:41,009
Well, this is what I'm working on.

10
00:00:41,051 --> 00:00:42,051
I asked you to help.

11
00:00:43,853 --> 00:00:45,809
Yeah

12
00:00:45,851 --> 00:00:49,309
So what do I do? I just eat?

13
00:00:49,351 --> 00:00:51,379
Yeah, just ignore
the cameras completely.

14
00:00:51,421 --> 00:00:52,447
That's the point actually,

15
00:00:52,471 --> 00:00:54,999
is to see how well people
can ignore being watched

16
00:00:55,041 --> 00:00:56,464
when they know that they are.

17
00:01:03,511 --> 00:01:05,369
Okay, so, what should we do?

18
00:01:05,411 --> 00:01:07,959
Should we act like we're sitting down

19
00:01:08,001 --> 00:01:08,792
introducing ourself?

20
00:01:08,834 --> 00:01:10,367
- Like, hey David, I'm...
- No, no, no, no.

21
00:01:10,391 --> 00:01:14,479
No acting at all. No acting,
just sit, you and me,

22
00:01:14,521 --> 00:01:15,581
completely ignore the cameras.

23
00:01:15,605 --> 00:01:16,396
Okay

24
00:01:16,438 --> 00:01:17,469
- You got it?
- Mm-hmm.

25
00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:18,529
Okay, so here we go.

26
00:01:18,571 --> 00:01:19,571
No acting.

27
00:01:21,461 --> 00:01:22,624
So, Erin?

28
00:01:24,641 --> 00:01:26,197
Who has two?

29
00:01:26,239 --> 00:01:29,129
They came from the grant,

30
00:01:29,171 --> 00:01:30,112
but you're not ignoring the cameras

31
00:01:30,154 --> 00:01:31,429
and that's the whole point.

32
00:01:31,471 --> 00:01:32,759
Oh yeah, I'm sorry.

33
00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:33,801
It's okay.

34
00:01:38,351 --> 00:01:39,578
Okay, I'm good.

35
00:01:48,534 --> 00:01:49,994
I have one more question.

36
00:01:51,666 --> 00:01:53,295
No one gets to see this, right?

37
00:01:53,337 --> 00:01:56,194
No, absolutely no
one will get to see this.

38
00:01:58,391 --> 00:01:59,717
Okay.

39
00:01:59,759 --> 00:02:01,209
I'm ignoring the the cameras.

40
00:02:07,742 --> 00:02:09,491
Let's do this.

41
00:02:29,231 --> 00:02:32,049
I thought you
said you were six one.

42
00:02:32,091 --> 00:02:33,324
It's a waxing moon.

43
00:02:34,301 --> 00:02:35,301
What?

44
00:02:36,551 --> 00:02:38,709
Our heights are affected
by the lunar cycle.

45
00:02:38,751 --> 00:02:41,004
Kind of like the waves in the ocean.

46
00:02:42,651 --> 00:02:44,919
So, throughout the course of the month,

47
00:02:44,961 --> 00:02:47,554
we have a range of different
heights that we occupy.

48
00:02:48,571 --> 00:02:50,459
Well, you're the scientist.

49
00:02:50,501 --> 00:02:51,501
Waxing moon.

50
00:03:03,901 --> 00:03:05,904
Wait, were you filming all this?

51
00:03:06,921 --> 00:03:08,317
Yeah, I told you
I was gonna be recording

52
00:03:08,341 --> 00:03:10,159
all of our interaction.

53
00:03:10,201 --> 00:03:12,519
No, you said just the conversation.

54
00:03:12,561 --> 00:03:14,994
I haven't signed any sort of consent form.

55
00:03:17,901 --> 00:03:20,854
I mean, I have you on
camera saying, "Yes," so.

56
00:03:33,251 --> 00:03:35,953
No one gets to see this though, right?

57
00:03:35,995 --> 00:03:37,245
That's right.

58
00:03:38,611 --> 00:03:41,029
Well, except for some clinicians.

59
00:03:41,071 --> 00:03:42,071
Wait, who?

60
00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:46,109
Nobody, just some researchers,

61
00:03:46,151 --> 00:03:47,327
like they're not perverted or anything.

62
00:03:47,351 --> 00:03:49,509
Just some little scientists

63
00:03:49,551 --> 00:03:51,879
trying to make this world a better place.

64
00:03:51,921 --> 00:03:53,021
They're heroes really.

65
00:03:54,481 --> 00:03:56,129
But that's it?

66
00:03:56,171 --> 00:03:57,234
Yeah, that's it.

67
00:04:13,581 --> 00:04:14,999
I could be a clinician, all right?

68
00:04:15,041 --> 00:04:16,252
I will be one.

69
00:04:16,294 --> 00:04:18,389
I mean, this
is what I'm saying, man.

70
00:04:18,431 --> 00:04:20,359
Lies are where it's at,
no one wants the truth.

71
00:04:20,401 --> 00:04:21,587
She totally fuckin' bought it.

72
00:04:21,611 --> 00:04:23,154
I hear you, oh man.

73
00:04:25,101 --> 00:04:26,819
David, I'm serious when I ask this,

74
00:04:26,861 --> 00:04:28,073
and I need you to be honest,

75
00:04:28,115 --> 00:04:29,949
What's that?

76
00:04:29,991 --> 00:04:31,107
What's her number?

77
00:04:31,149 --> 00:04:32,859
I'm not giving you her number.

78
00:04:32,901 --> 00:04:34,879
Look at that, she's
totally asking for it.

79
00:04:34,921 --> 00:04:36,089
Literally, she is.

80
00:04:36,131 --> 00:04:37,549
No.

81
00:04:37,591 --> 00:04:39,669
All right, well, how was she?

82
00:04:39,711 --> 00:04:40,711
What, like in bed?

83
00:04:40,751 --> 00:04:42,879
No, in the experiment.

84
00:04:42,921 --> 00:04:44,429
I mean, there's no experiment, so.

85
00:04:44,471 --> 00:04:47,954
Of course I meant in
bed, you idiot, all right?

86
00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:49,537
Although...

87
00:04:49,579 --> 00:04:50,912
Although what?

88
00:04:51,881 --> 00:04:53,374
Dude, no, you can't.

89
00:04:54,540 --> 00:04:55,389
- Don't film this.
- I'm just saving this

90
00:04:55,431 --> 00:04:56,222
for later,

91
00:04:56,264 --> 00:04:57,657
- just give me a...
- No, this is not for you

92
00:04:57,681 --> 00:04:58,681
to save to later.

93
00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:01,327
- This is not for you.
- Okay, listen for a second.

94
00:05:01,351 --> 00:05:03,074
Stop it, delete the shot.

95
00:05:04,051 --> 00:05:05,899
You don't need it, delete the shot.

96
00:05:05,941 --> 00:05:06,843
Okay.

97
00:05:06,885 --> 00:05:07,676
You do it?

98
00:05:07,718 --> 00:05:09,409
Chill out, I'll
delete it, I promise.

99
00:05:09,451 --> 00:05:10,242
You promise?

100
00:05:10,284 --> 00:05:11,615
I promise.

101
00:05:11,657 --> 00:05:14,059
All right, just give me
a second. I'm just gonna...

102
00:05:14,101 --> 00:05:15,532
Oh fuck.

103
00:05:15,574 --> 00:05:17,669
My camera, okay.

104
00:05:17,711 --> 00:05:19,527
Hopefully that's good and
I'm just gonna adjust that.

105
00:05:19,551 --> 00:05:21,109
Let me, let me, let me.

106
00:05:21,151 --> 00:05:24,209
Okay, all right, well,
okay, you're the expert.

107
00:05:24,251 --> 00:05:25,989
What are we doing here?

108
00:05:26,031 --> 00:05:27,079
You said something earlier

109
00:05:27,121 --> 00:05:28,887
and it really stuck with me.

110
00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:31,279
I think we can turn your shitty womanizing

111
00:05:31,321 --> 00:05:32,669
into something really great.

112
00:05:32,711 --> 00:05:33,539
Whoa.

113
00:05:33,581 --> 00:05:34,581
No, I know.

114
00:05:34,611 --> 00:05:35,679
Listen, hear me out.

115
00:05:35,721 --> 00:05:37,571
You said that lying is where it's at.

116
00:05:39,031 --> 00:05:40,529
Yeah, I did say that.

117
00:05:40,571 --> 00:05:43,009
Okay and you lie to
women to hook up with them

118
00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:45,089
- and that's...
- No, it's more than that.

119
00:05:45,131 --> 00:05:47,609
Okay, but you lie to them, right? Why?

120
00:05:47,651 --> 00:05:52,079
Okay, so, our whole lives
we're groomed on fiction

121
00:05:52,121 --> 00:05:54,339
and movies and books.

122
00:05:54,381 --> 00:05:58,269
No one actually wants to be
with someone that's real.

123
00:05:58,311 --> 00:06:01,349
So who the fuck is gonna
swipe right on someone like...

124
00:06:01,391 --> 00:06:02,719
On you?

125
00:06:02,761 --> 00:06:04,304
Sure, yeah, someone like me.

126
00:06:06,191 --> 00:06:11,019
It's almost like in order to
experience a real relationship,

127
00:06:11,061 --> 00:06:14,409
you kind of have to be fake.

128
00:06:14,451 --> 00:06:16,502
That makes total sense, David.

129
00:06:16,544 --> 00:06:18,442
All right, that's what I
want this movie to say.

130
00:06:18,484 --> 00:06:21,599
Dude you're not putting
my fucking sex tape online.

131
00:06:21,641 --> 00:06:23,597
I don't care what bullshit
justification you have,

132
00:06:23,621 --> 00:06:25,329
that's called revenge porn.

133
00:06:25,371 --> 00:06:28,079
I mean, unless they sign
some sort of consent,

134
00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:29,019
but then that defeats

135
00:06:29,061 --> 00:06:30,107
- the whole point, right?
- Okay, listen,

136
00:06:30,131 --> 00:06:32,409
does National Geographic publish a

137
00:06:32,451 --> 00:06:34,149
tribal revenge porn magazine?

138
00:06:34,191 --> 00:06:36,499
Dude, that is not even the same.

139
00:06:36,541 --> 00:06:37,919
Not even comparable.

140
00:06:37,961 --> 00:06:39,254
That's documentary.

141
00:06:40,111 --> 00:06:40,902
Okay?

142
00:06:40,944 --> 00:06:43,194
If it's documentary or satire,
you don't need consent.

143
00:06:44,421 --> 00:06:46,539
Okay, then genius,

144
00:06:46,581 --> 00:06:50,539
give me a documentary-satire on boobs.

145
00:06:50,581 --> 00:06:51,581
Okay.

146
00:06:54,011 --> 00:06:55,724
Breast in show.

147
00:06:57,761 --> 00:06:58,761
That was clever.

148
00:07:00,221 --> 00:07:01,309
Look David,

149
00:07:01,351 --> 00:07:03,439
I wanna make a tasteful film

150
00:07:03,481 --> 00:07:05,979
about how deceitful we
have to be these days.

151
00:07:06,021 --> 00:07:07,627
If you're uncomfortable
with the sex stuff,

152
00:07:07,651 --> 00:07:08,747
we don't need to have it in there.

153
00:07:08,771 --> 00:07:09,989
No nudity in the movie.

154
00:07:10,031 --> 00:07:11,219
Then no one's gonna watch it.

155
00:07:11,261 --> 00:07:12,937
The whole point of someone
watching a documentary

156
00:07:12,961 --> 00:07:14,027
is so that they can look at boobs

157
00:07:14,051 --> 00:07:15,787
without feeling like a
dick for watching porn.

158
00:07:15,811 --> 00:07:16,959
Well, then fuck them!

159
00:07:17,001 --> 00:07:18,707
Okay? We're not gonna be
one of those shitty docs

160
00:07:18,731 --> 00:07:21,849
that shows gratuitous hot chicks' breasts

161
00:07:21,891 --> 00:07:23,419
at the beginning of a film,

162
00:07:23,461 --> 00:07:25,289
just to trick them into
watching 90 minutes

163
00:07:25,331 --> 00:07:27,144
of fucking boring bullshit.

164
00:07:28,121 --> 00:07:29,121
Look, okay.

165
00:07:29,974 --> 00:07:30,765
This is what we'll do.

166
00:07:30,807 --> 00:07:33,439
After it's all over, after it's all done,

167
00:07:33,481 --> 00:07:35,699
we'll run it past the girls, right?

168
00:07:35,741 --> 00:07:37,101
And if they're cool with the film,

169
00:07:37,136 --> 00:07:39,279
which they will be because
of the positive message

170
00:07:39,321 --> 00:07:40,784
and it's not exploitative,

171
00:07:41,841 --> 00:07:45,969
maybe they'll let us show each
of them topless at the end.

172
00:07:46,011 --> 00:07:47,719
As a reward for the guys

173
00:07:47,761 --> 00:07:49,017
that have made it all the way through.

174
00:07:49,041 --> 00:07:52,499
So you wanna take turns tricking girls

175
00:07:52,541 --> 00:07:53,779
into believing our bullshit,

176
00:07:53,821 --> 00:07:56,357
and then what? We capitalize

177
00:07:56,399 --> 00:07:57,637
- off that, or what?
- No, no, no, no, David, stop.

178
00:07:57,661 --> 00:07:58,452
Not we.

179
00:07:58,494 --> 00:08:00,349
No, I'm not in this.

180
00:08:00,391 --> 00:08:01,182
Just me?

181
00:08:01,224 --> 00:08:02,015
Yeah.

182
00:08:02,057 --> 00:08:02,909
You're the one that's good at this shit.

183
00:08:02,951 --> 00:08:04,530
You are the one that's
good at manipulating people

184
00:08:04,554 --> 00:08:06,019
into doing what they want.

185
00:08:06,061 --> 00:08:08,549
I'm bad at that, I'm bad
and I'm not gonna be in it.

186
00:08:08,591 --> 00:08:09,516
No way.

187
00:08:09,558 --> 00:08:11,359
Except for right now,
right here, right now?

188
00:08:11,401 --> 00:08:12,449
No, man, no.

189
00:08:12,491 --> 00:08:15,219
This is way too boring, this
is not gonna make the cut.

190
00:08:15,261 --> 00:08:16,924
'Cause there's no naked chicks in it.

191
00:08:19,191 --> 00:08:21,519
Okay, all right, yeah, that was clever.

192
00:08:21,561 --> 00:08:22,352
Thank you.

193
00:08:22,394 --> 00:08:23,185
That was clever.

194
00:08:23,227 --> 00:08:24,549
But that's not the same thing.

195
00:08:24,591 --> 00:08:27,084
Look, David, are you in?

196
00:08:32,171 --> 00:08:33,599
No fucking way.

197
00:08:33,641 --> 00:08:36,141
Okay, so what are we gonna film this on?

198
00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:37,539
Like cell phones?

199
00:08:37,581 --> 00:08:38,779
No way, dude.

200
00:08:38,821 --> 00:08:40,339
If we want to make a movie,

201
00:08:40,381 --> 00:08:42,489
we're gonna make it look
like a movie, right?

202
00:08:42,531 --> 00:08:44,989
Okay. And look, it's
just us filming this.

203
00:08:45,031 --> 00:08:46,897
I don't want any of your
film friends, Matt or mark,

204
00:08:46,921 --> 00:08:48,660
or who-the-fuck-ever is
gonna be standing over me

205
00:08:48,684 --> 00:08:49,947
when I'm trying to score, right?

206
00:08:49,971 --> 00:08:51,934
Definitely not, definitely not.

207
00:08:53,461 --> 00:08:55,059
And no one gets to see the raw footage

208
00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:56,357
until you have personally edited that.

209
00:08:56,381 --> 00:08:57,701
Is that a deal?

210
00:08:57,743 --> 00:08:59,814
Yeah, of course.

211
00:09:02,945 --> 00:09:04,307
All right, now what about a script?

212
00:09:04,331 --> 00:09:05,987
Are you gonna write it?
Is it gonna be a joint?

213
00:09:06,011 --> 00:09:07,739
Hey, no, there is no script.

214
00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:08,682
That's the whole point.

215
00:09:08,724 --> 00:09:10,974
Have you been listening
to what I'm saying?

216
00:09:11,891 --> 00:09:13,391
I mean, you're the director.

217
00:09:16,881 --> 00:09:18,739
You're the director, right?

218
00:09:18,781 --> 00:09:19,572
Did you say director?

219
00:09:19,614 --> 00:09:21,574
No, I'm not directing, you're
you're directing it, man.

220
00:09:21,598 --> 00:09:22,409
I'm directing it?

221
00:09:22,451 --> 00:09:24,579
Yeah, you decide what
you do by your actions.

222
00:09:24,621 --> 00:09:26,627
You're the one doing it.
You're deciding what to do.

223
00:09:26,651 --> 00:09:28,159
No, no, I cannot be the director

224
00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:30,629
'cause if I direct this, I'm
gonna look like I'm an asshole.

225
00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:32,299
Well, only if
you're being an asshole.

226
00:09:32,341 --> 00:09:33,759
Dude, that's not the point.

227
00:09:33,801 --> 00:09:36,634
I'm going to look like an asshole.

228
00:09:38,281 --> 00:09:39,219
So you don't wanna direct?

229
00:09:39,261 --> 00:09:41,749
Well, I definitely don't
wanna be called the director.

230
00:09:41,791 --> 00:09:42,791
No.

231
00:09:43,821 --> 00:09:44,821
Okay.

232
00:09:45,901 --> 00:09:48,179
Okay, I'll take the directing credit.

233
00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:49,964
Okay, cool. Thank you.

234
00:09:52,341 --> 00:09:53,844
So, should we get started?

235
00:09:57,621 --> 00:09:59,969
Yeah, let's do it.

236
00:10:00,011 --> 00:10:01,256
Hi, I'm David Bush,

237
00:10:01,298 --> 00:10:04,099
and I decided to selflessly
sacrifice my reputation

238
00:10:04,141 --> 00:10:06,089
in order to bring you
through a guided tour

239
00:10:06,131 --> 00:10:08,631
through the doors of
an exclusive underworld

240
00:10:11,501 --> 00:10:12,739
thought?

241
00:10:12,781 --> 00:10:15,259
Selflessly sacrifice my reputation

242
00:10:15,301 --> 00:10:17,457
in order to take you through
a guided tour of the doors.

243
00:10:17,481 --> 00:10:20,409
Through the doors of an
exclusive underworld thought

244
00:10:20,451 --> 00:10:22,589
that provide, mother fucker.

245
00:10:22,631 --> 00:10:25,729
Of thought that pervades all of our lives.

246
00:10:25,771 --> 00:10:29,649
My reputation, in order to
take you on a guided tour,

247
00:10:29,691 --> 00:10:31,729
underworld of thought.

248
00:10:31,771 --> 00:10:34,179
Exclusive underworld of thought.

249
00:10:34,221 --> 00:10:35,999
All right, let's
just do it. Let's roll it.

250
00:10:36,041 --> 00:10:37,287
Let's just roll it.

251
00:10:37,329 --> 00:10:39,633
We're just gonna roll it.

252
00:10:39,675 --> 00:10:42,779
Oh god, this is so
stressful. Okay.

253
00:10:42,821 --> 00:10:43,837
We're rolling, we're rolling,

254
00:10:43,861 --> 00:10:44,839
- we're rolling.
- Is this rolling.

255
00:10:44,881 --> 00:10:45,937
We're all rolling,
we're ready to go.

256
00:10:45,961 --> 00:10:47,455
Let's do it.

257
00:10:47,497 --> 00:10:52,497
All right.

258
00:10:52,741 --> 00:10:54,599
Hi, I'm David Bush,

259
00:10:54,641 --> 00:10:56,619
and I have decided to selflessly sacrifice

260
00:10:56,661 --> 00:10:59,629
my reputation in order to
bring you on a guided tour,

261
00:10:59,671 --> 00:11:02,199
through the doors of an
exclusive underworld of thought

262
00:11:02,241 --> 00:11:04,419
that pervades all of our lives.

263
00:11:04,461 --> 00:11:05,879
An elicit society

264
00:11:05,921 --> 00:11:09,049
in which we have all pledged
complicit membership.

265
00:11:09,091 --> 00:11:10,904
Welcome to Fuck Club.

266
00:11:12,031 --> 00:11:13,031
- Now...
- Fuck club?

267
00:11:13,841 --> 00:11:15,659
Yeah, it's gonna be the title.

268
00:11:15,701 --> 00:11:16,909
You don't want sex or nudity,

269
00:11:16,951 --> 00:11:17,909
or to seem like an asshole,

270
00:11:17,951 --> 00:11:20,469
but you wanna call the movie, "Fuck Club"?

271
00:11:20,511 --> 00:11:22,589
Yeah. It's kind of like "Fight Club,"

272
00:11:22,631 --> 00:11:24,981
you know, plight of the
middle-class white man.

273
00:11:26,061 --> 00:11:28,419
I was thinking maybe we could just

274
00:11:28,461 --> 00:11:31,119
more overtly call it by what it is.

275
00:11:31,161 --> 00:11:32,511
You don't like Fuck Club?

276
00:11:33,891 --> 00:11:35,391
Yes, I love Fuck Club.

277
00:11:37,081 --> 00:11:38,104
We're gonna call it Fuck Club.

278
00:11:38,128 --> 00:11:39,069
All right, cool.

279
00:11:39,111 --> 00:11:41,169
Just like "Fight Club."

280
00:11:41,211 --> 00:11:42,819
Yes.

281
00:11:42,861 --> 00:11:43,879
Just, kind of.

282
00:11:43,921 --> 00:11:45,514
Great, that's great.

283
00:11:46,951 --> 00:11:48,849
Well, we are not gonna
show a flash of my dick

284
00:11:48,891 --> 00:11:50,575
at the end though.

285
00:11:50,617 --> 00:11:51,617
Okay.

286
00:11:52,591 --> 00:11:53,641
Welcome to Fuck Club.

287
00:11:56,251 --> 00:11:57,559
Okay, so,

288
00:11:57,601 --> 00:11:58,957
I started using some of these websites

289
00:11:58,981 --> 00:12:00,027
because I couldn't find anyone

290
00:12:00,051 --> 00:12:01,657
that was generally
interested in real life.

291
00:12:01,681 --> 00:12:03,281
Right? Like, no one hot.

292
00:12:05,421 --> 00:12:06,212
Right?

293
00:12:06,254 --> 00:12:07,565
Sure, yeah.

294
00:12:07,607 --> 00:12:08,398
You make me sound like a dick.

295
00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:10,239
I'm sorry, go ahead.

296
00:12:10,281 --> 00:12:11,387
So I signed up for and yeah,

297
00:12:11,411 --> 00:12:13,107
I mean, it had a bunch
of people that were hot,

298
00:12:13,131 --> 00:12:14,289
but some of their bio lines

299
00:12:14,331 --> 00:12:16,299
were genuinely kind of cool.

300
00:12:16,341 --> 00:12:17,507
Well, 'cause they're bullshit.

301
00:12:17,531 --> 00:12:18,729
Right.

302
00:12:18,771 --> 00:12:23,049
So then, I put my info
up there, not lying.

303
00:12:23,091 --> 00:12:25,259
And guess how many hits I got?

304
00:12:25,301 --> 00:12:26,092
How many?

305
00:12:26,134 --> 00:12:27,069
None.

306
00:12:27,111 --> 00:12:27,902
Ouch.

307
00:12:27,944 --> 00:12:29,119
So then I did what I do best.

308
00:12:29,161 --> 00:12:30,161
You lied?

309
00:12:31,631 --> 00:12:34,649
Research, is what I do best.

310
00:12:34,691 --> 00:12:35,822
Okay, sorry.

311
00:12:37,661 --> 00:12:38,661
Check this out.

312
00:12:40,221 --> 00:12:42,537
Look at this girl, right here.

313
00:12:42,579 --> 00:12:44,712
Look at her, I found her profile

314
00:12:44,754 --> 00:12:45,545
- right here.
- Oh, she's beautiful.

315
00:12:45,587 --> 00:12:47,659
So look, this
is the original, okay?

316
00:12:47,701 --> 00:12:49,365
And this is the edit.

317
00:12:49,407 --> 00:12:50,198
- Oh, no.
- Look, she took this guy,

318
00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:51,109
she cut him out completely,

319
00:12:51,151 --> 00:12:52,707
like, her boyfriend or friend or whatever.

320
00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:53,827
Yeah, she's cheating around.

321
00:12:53,851 --> 00:12:54,642
Yes.

322
00:12:54,684 --> 00:12:56,614
And in addition to that, watch this.

323
00:12:57,681 --> 00:12:58,472
Okay? Look right here.

324
00:12:58,514 --> 00:13:01,389
You can see some of his hair,
right here and right here.

325
00:13:01,431 --> 00:13:03,197
- Yeah, I see that.
- She made her eyes bigger.

326
00:13:03,221 --> 00:13:04,012
- Right?
- Oh!

327
00:13:04,054 --> 00:13:05,379
And then check this out.

328
00:13:05,421 --> 00:13:07,862
This is my favorite part.

329
00:13:07,904 --> 00:13:09,195
Look at that dude, whitehead.

330
00:13:09,237 --> 00:13:12,309
- Oh, no!
- Right there.

331
00:13:12,351 --> 00:13:13,279
She hottened herself.

332
00:13:13,321 --> 00:13:14,489
Yeah, she heated herself.

333
00:13:14,531 --> 00:13:15,869
Yeah, digital surgery.

334
00:13:15,911 --> 00:13:16,702
No way.

335
00:13:16,744 --> 00:13:17,744
Yup.

336
00:13:22,338 --> 00:13:24,659
All right, so what did you learn?

337
00:13:24,701 --> 00:13:27,004
Did you put yourself under the cursor too?

338
00:13:28,131 --> 00:13:30,274
I mean, yes and no.

339
00:13:31,341 --> 00:13:34,339
Guys are supposed to look
like life happens to them,

340
00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:37,276
so, did I smooth out my skin? No.

341
00:13:37,318 --> 00:13:39,254
But you exaggerated your height?

342
00:13:41,121 --> 00:13:43,349
I'm sorry, that's a lunar thing.

343
00:13:43,391 --> 00:13:44,391
I keep forgetting.

344
00:13:46,941 --> 00:13:48,779
Anyway, I hate this camera,

345
00:13:48,821 --> 00:13:49,977
do you have to be filming with this?

346
00:13:50,001 --> 00:13:51,103
Yes, it's part
of the movie, all right?

347
00:13:51,127 --> 00:13:51,918
Just deal with it.

348
00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:53,406
Okay, just scoot back a little bit.

349
00:13:53,448 --> 00:13:54,779
All right.

350
00:13:54,821 --> 00:13:56,419
Back on track.

351
00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:58,299
Girls can post selfies.

352
00:13:58,341 --> 00:13:59,569
Guys cannot.

353
00:13:59,611 --> 00:14:01,207
Never, ever post a selfie.

354
00:14:01,249 --> 00:14:02,777
So what I did, is I took a
couple pictures of myself,

355
00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:03,592
all right?

356
00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:04,634
Just doing stuff.

357
00:14:04,671 --> 00:14:07,639
The more ambiguous, the better.

358
00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:10,579
And then, I just doctored up my profile.

359
00:14:10,621 --> 00:14:13,679
Oh, okay, so you
like long walks on the beach,

360
00:14:13,721 --> 00:14:14,939
you want the perfect family,

361
00:14:14,981 --> 00:14:16,594
you're looking for the right woman.

362
00:14:17,831 --> 00:14:18,729
No!

363
00:14:18,771 --> 00:14:20,203
Fuck no.

364
00:14:20,245 --> 00:14:21,059
That is clearly a lie.

365
00:14:21,101 --> 00:14:24,089
You have to say things like,
"I'm too busy with work.

366
00:14:24,131 --> 00:14:26,196
I'm not sure if I have
time for a relationship."

367
00:14:26,238 --> 00:14:27,467
All right, what
do you do for work?

368
00:14:27,491 --> 00:14:29,009
You just gotta cater it to the girl.

369
00:14:29,051 --> 00:14:30,869
I mean, that's not the point.

370
00:14:30,911 --> 00:14:34,879
The point is, I'm not
actually looking for somebody.

371
00:14:34,921 --> 00:14:36,567
So if I find someone
that makes an impression,

372
00:14:36,591 --> 00:14:38,444
it's because they're fucking amazing.

373
00:14:39,381 --> 00:14:41,659
That's backwards, but it's clever.

374
00:14:41,701 --> 00:14:43,642
Okay. Are you using this for the movie?

375
00:14:43,684 --> 00:14:45,779
Because you look really stupid right now.

376
00:14:45,821 --> 00:14:48,469
It's not about
what I look like, okay?

377
00:14:48,511 --> 00:14:51,004
It looks stupid to you, but
the camera can't see me.

378
00:14:53,841 --> 00:14:54,841
Oh, fuck.

379
00:14:55,531 --> 00:14:57,117
I mean, can we just
put a camera up here?

380
00:14:57,141 --> 00:14:58,662
We got a little,

381
00:14:58,704 --> 00:15:00,619
this records footage.

382
00:15:00,661 --> 00:15:01,452
That's a camera?

383
00:15:01,494 --> 00:15:03,339
Yeah.

384
00:15:03,381 --> 00:15:04,681
No, that's stupid.

385
00:15:06,491 --> 00:15:08,782
Okay, David, why don't you update everyone

386
00:15:08,824 --> 00:15:10,519
and tell them where we're at?

387
00:15:10,561 --> 00:15:13,206
I thought you weren't
gonna be in the movie?

388
00:15:13,248 --> 00:15:14,539
I'm not, I'm just narrating,

389
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,899
I'm like an active participant.

390
00:15:16,941 --> 00:15:19,879
Okay. So how about you
narrate where we are?

391
00:15:19,921 --> 00:15:21,169
Okay, fine.

392
00:15:21,211 --> 00:15:24,212
Hey, we're at a bar where
we're about to meet...

393
00:15:24,254 --> 00:15:27,679
I, not we. You're narrating, remember.

394
00:15:27,721 --> 00:15:28,512
- Sorry.
- It's okay.

395
00:15:28,554 --> 00:15:30,569
David is at a bar where
he's about to meet Abby

396
00:15:30,611 --> 00:15:31,889
for the first time.

397
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,639
David, why don't you tell Abby,

398
00:15:33,681 --> 00:15:35,317
tell her what you think she does.

399
00:15:35,359 --> 00:15:37,704
I told her that was a filmmaker.

400
00:15:39,138 --> 00:15:41,818
Oh God. You told her what this is?

401
00:15:41,860 --> 00:15:42,651
You told her about this?

402
00:15:42,693 --> 00:15:44,379
Yeah, told her the truth.

403
00:15:44,421 --> 00:15:45,339
Told her everything, man.

404
00:15:45,381 --> 00:15:47,484
Might as well end the film now.

405
00:15:48,591 --> 00:15:49,591
David?

406
00:15:52,481 --> 00:15:54,269
Hey, how are you?

407
00:15:54,311 --> 00:15:55,311
Good.

408
00:15:59,741 --> 00:16:03,229
Do you mind if I actually film you?

409
00:16:03,271 --> 00:16:05,519
I'm sorry, oh my god, I just realized

410
00:16:05,561 --> 00:16:06,747
I didn't even tell you about this.

411
00:16:06,771 --> 00:16:07,884
It's a work thing.

412
00:16:09,081 --> 00:16:11,224
If you want me to, I can stop.

413
00:16:12,311 --> 00:16:13,447
What kind of movie are you making

414
00:16:13,471 --> 00:16:14,471
that involves me?

415
00:16:15,581 --> 00:16:17,884
I mean, it
could be a documentary.

416
00:16:20,711 --> 00:16:22,829
You're right, that was dumb,
that was really stupid.

417
00:16:22,871 --> 00:16:24,021
It's not a documentary.

418
00:16:24,862 --> 00:16:25,979
Look, I'm just gonna go.

419
00:16:26,021 --> 00:16:28,454
No, no, no, I'm sorry, I'm very sorry.

420
00:16:29,830 --> 00:16:30,887
- Please don't go.
- Do you work in movies

421
00:16:30,911 --> 00:16:31,702
or not?

422
00:16:31,744 --> 00:16:32,874
I do work in movies.

423
00:16:33,962 --> 00:16:36,124
I work in the film industry.

424
00:16:37,466 --> 00:16:40,339
I'm a scout and that's
what I was doing on,

425
00:16:40,381 --> 00:16:43,035
I wasn't really originally
looking for a date.

426
00:16:43,077 --> 00:16:45,504
But I came across you and

427
00:16:48,761 --> 00:16:51,029
- you seemed...
- What are you scouting?

428
00:16:51,071 --> 00:16:55,744
It's for this Brad Pitt
and Edward Norton movie.

429
00:16:56,691 --> 00:16:59,379
Okay, so her profile
said she loves "Fight Club"

430
00:16:59,421 --> 00:17:01,119
which is actually really perfect.

431
00:17:01,161 --> 00:17:03,394
It also said she's super ambitious.

432
00:17:04,381 --> 00:17:06,431
This is very unprofessional, I'm sorry.

433
00:17:07,451 --> 00:17:08,419
I shouldn't do this.

434
00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:10,854
So, I could be in a movie?

435
00:17:13,361 --> 00:17:15,059
I really don't
want to lead you on.

436
00:17:15,101 --> 00:17:16,379
No, please.

437
00:17:16,421 --> 00:17:17,212
What do I have to do?

438
00:17:17,254 --> 00:17:19,179
I mean, I won't put out or anything,

439
00:17:19,221 --> 00:17:21,678
but you seem really interesting.

440
00:17:24,684 --> 00:17:26,762
I can't do this.

441
00:17:26,804 --> 00:17:30,299
You know what? I'm sorry, I can't do this.

442
00:17:30,341 --> 00:17:31,341
You're fine.

443
00:17:33,196 --> 00:17:35,863
Hey, what the fuck, man?

444
00:17:41,565 --> 00:17:44,902
Well, you're not gonna believe this.

445
00:17:44,944 --> 00:17:47,194
Left the bar two minutes
ago and where's Sam?

446
00:17:52,501 --> 00:17:53,501
Nowhere.

447
00:17:56,701 --> 00:17:59,023
Fuck it, I'm gonna wait.

448
00:17:59,065 --> 00:18:00,539
Yeah, that guy can be predatory,

449
00:18:00,581 --> 00:18:01,917
I've seen him around here a few times.

450
00:18:01,941 --> 00:18:03,891
Yeah, I totally got that vibe.

451
00:18:05,931 --> 00:18:07,649
Hey, Sam.

452
00:18:07,691 --> 00:18:08,999
I was just talking to this guy,

453
00:18:09,041 --> 00:18:12,032
but if you wanna still talk
about that movie, and about

454
00:18:12,074 --> 00:18:14,489
- the casting and stuff.
- Sam, we need to talk.

455
00:18:14,531 --> 00:18:15,790
You guys know each other?

456
00:18:15,832 --> 00:18:17,058
- No.
- No,

457
00:18:17,100 --> 00:18:19,889
no, never seen him before in my life.

458
00:18:19,931 --> 00:18:22,691
Let's go guy, I don't know.

459
00:18:22,733 --> 00:18:25,481
Yeah, I'll be back.

460
00:18:29,701 --> 00:18:31,529
You fucking honed in the second...

461
00:18:31,571 --> 00:18:34,009
Hey! I did not hone in.

462
00:18:34,051 --> 00:18:35,219
I did not hone in, okay?

463
00:18:35,261 --> 00:18:36,847
A, that part of the documentary was over

464
00:18:36,871 --> 00:18:37,662
'cause you walked out.

465
00:18:37,704 --> 00:18:39,159
And then I came right back in.

466
00:18:39,201 --> 00:18:40,757
I mean, is this your fucking plan, man?

467
00:18:40,781 --> 00:18:42,389
Use me to get gullible girls?

468
00:18:42,431 --> 00:18:43,539
No, listen.

469
00:18:43,581 --> 00:18:44,372
B, all right,

470
00:18:44,414 --> 00:18:45,627
I was trying to smooth things out

471
00:18:45,651 --> 00:18:46,442
'cause she was weirded out

472
00:18:46,484 --> 00:18:47,649
when you creeped out on her.

473
00:18:47,691 --> 00:18:48,482
Exactly.

474
00:18:48,524 --> 00:18:50,329
Make the fucking movie yourself.

475
00:18:50,371 --> 00:18:51,162
Hey, man.

476
00:18:51,204 --> 00:18:52,799
No, no, no, listen, listen.

477
00:18:52,841 --> 00:18:54,047
I was trying to get her reaction, okay?

478
00:18:54,071 --> 00:18:56,019
I was trying to record it for you, okay?

479
00:18:56,061 --> 00:18:57,581
So you could see, she was weirded out,

480
00:18:57,611 --> 00:18:59,349
she was gonna report you, David.

481
00:18:59,391 --> 00:19:01,219
That is what I'm worried about, man.

482
00:19:01,261 --> 00:19:02,749
I can't fucking do this.

483
00:19:02,791 --> 00:19:04,066
You've been doing it for ages.

484
00:19:04,108 --> 00:19:06,222
Not in front of a camera.
Not for people to watch.

485
00:19:06,264 --> 00:19:07,549
This is getting in my head,

486
00:19:07,591 --> 00:19:10,149
it's making me act fucking weird, man.

487
00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:11,869
If I am not confident,

488
00:19:11,911 --> 00:19:13,709
I can not do this.

489
00:19:13,751 --> 00:19:15,509
Listen, timid is good, okay?

490
00:19:15,551 --> 00:19:16,709
Girls like timid.

491
00:19:16,751 --> 00:19:18,689
They say they like
confidence, but they don't,

492
00:19:18,731 --> 00:19:19,936
they like timid.

493
00:19:21,951 --> 00:19:25,674
No. For the most part,
girls do not like timid.

494
00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:28,082
Well, guess what, man?

495
00:19:28,124 --> 00:19:29,124
It got me her number.

496
00:19:32,021 --> 00:19:32,812
Sam.

497
00:19:32,854 --> 00:19:34,449
Yeah, no, I'm just kidding.

498
00:19:34,491 --> 00:19:35,979
I'm kidding.

499
00:19:36,021 --> 00:19:37,249
Okay? I didn't get her number,

500
00:19:37,291 --> 00:19:39,224
I just wanted to film your reaction.

501
00:19:40,821 --> 00:19:41,612
You're fucking filming.

502
00:19:41,654 --> 00:19:44,321
Why the fuck are you even
filming right now, man?

503
00:19:44,363 --> 00:19:45,154
And I'm done.

504
00:19:45,196 --> 00:19:46,447
If you wanna do this on
your own, that's fine.

505
00:19:46,471 --> 00:19:47,789
But I'm not fucking coming back.

506
00:19:47,831 --> 00:19:48,739
I'm done.

507
00:19:48,781 --> 00:19:49,619
David, come on, man.

508
00:19:49,661 --> 00:19:50,632
Don't be a jerk, man.

509
00:19:50,674 --> 00:19:51,999
Fuck off.

510
00:19:52,041 --> 00:19:54,741
I can't film this by myself,
that's the whole point.

511
00:19:56,401 --> 00:19:58,634
I can't do scenes by myself.

512
00:20:00,304 --> 00:20:03,349
You can do this, you can do this.

513
00:20:03,391 --> 00:20:04,719
Okay, all right.

514
00:20:04,761 --> 00:20:06,259
Take one.

515
00:20:06,301 --> 00:20:07,301
Action.

516
00:20:08,359 --> 00:20:10,479
So it's been six days

517
00:20:10,521 --> 00:20:13,373
since David's kicked us
out of his fuck club.

518
00:20:13,415 --> 00:20:15,049
What is that?

519
00:20:15,091 --> 00:20:16,235
Oh, that's called something,

520
00:20:16,277 --> 00:20:18,519
when you use the title
of a movie in the movie,

521
00:20:18,561 --> 00:20:19,759
what is that called?

522
00:20:19,801 --> 00:20:20,901
There's a word for it.

523
00:20:22,034 --> 00:20:23,034
Let me see.

524
00:20:26,598 --> 00:20:30,074
Entitlement, entitlement.

525
00:20:31,211 --> 00:20:32,284
That sounds phony.

526
00:20:33,751 --> 00:20:34,751
Take five.

527
00:20:35,641 --> 00:20:36,859
You got this.

528
00:20:36,901 --> 00:20:39,819
So, apparently the word is metonymy.

529
00:20:39,861 --> 00:20:43,709
So, David kicked us out of his
phony, metonymical fuck club,

530
00:20:43,751 --> 00:20:44,859
and I've done my best,

531
00:20:44,901 --> 00:20:46,549
but I can't figure out a way to

532
00:20:46,591 --> 00:20:48,091
continue the film without him.

533
00:20:49,651 --> 00:20:52,279
There has been one pretty
nice silver lining though.

534
00:20:52,321 --> 00:20:55,019
And I promise you, this
was not a goal of mine,

535
00:20:55,061 --> 00:20:56,261
but it just turned out that...

536
00:20:57,498 --> 00:21:00,499
Oh, I think that's Abby there.

537
00:21:00,541 --> 00:21:01,541
One second.

538
00:21:06,681 --> 00:21:08,231
Maybe like just in case, right?

539
00:21:11,451 --> 00:21:12,558
I'm coming!

540
00:21:13,691 --> 00:21:14,691
One second.

541
00:21:15,651 --> 00:21:17,574
David wishes he had a crib like this.

542
00:21:19,651 --> 00:21:20,651
One second.

543
00:21:22,311 --> 00:21:25,679
Hey David, you like apples?

544
00:21:25,721 --> 00:21:27,029
How do you like these?

545
00:21:27,071 --> 00:21:28,899
Hey, I'm really glad you're home

546
00:21:28,941 --> 00:21:30,441
because I need to talk to you.

547
00:21:31,301 --> 00:21:32,649
Did you know I was coming?

548
00:21:32,691 --> 00:21:34,612
Yeah, I've been sitting
here for a week filming.

549
00:21:34,654 --> 00:21:36,139
Huh, you wanna watch the footage?

550
00:21:36,181 --> 00:21:37,431
No, not really.

551
00:21:39,730 --> 00:21:42,294
Sam, I wanna help with the movie.

552
00:21:45,791 --> 00:21:46,947
Yeah, unfortunately
I think I decided

553
00:21:46,971 --> 00:21:48,849
to go a different route with the movie.

554
00:21:48,891 --> 00:21:50,517
So, I don't know if you can
really help out that much,

555
00:21:50,541 --> 00:21:52,564
but why the change of heart?

556
00:21:53,601 --> 00:21:54,881
I got a video I
need to show you.

557
00:21:54,921 --> 00:21:56,599
Oh? All right.

558
00:21:56,641 --> 00:21:59,039
You've been making the
movie without us, huh?

559
00:21:59,081 --> 00:22:00,609
No, I haven't,

560
00:22:00,651 --> 00:22:04,299
but this cannot go in the movie.

561
00:22:04,341 --> 00:22:06,004
You promise? You understand that?

562
00:22:06,941 --> 00:22:07,974
Of course, yeah.

563
00:22:09,941 --> 00:22:10,732
I promise.

564
00:22:10,774 --> 00:22:11,774
All right.

565
00:22:13,481 --> 00:22:14,409
Let me get it pulled up.

566
00:22:14,451 --> 00:22:16,701
- Give me time.
- Yeah, do it.

567
00:22:23,186 --> 00:22:24,025
- You ready?
- Yeah.

568
00:22:24,067 --> 00:22:25,067
Okay.

569
00:22:25,792 --> 00:22:26,822
A project that

570
00:22:26,864 --> 00:22:27,897
- you're filming yourself for.
- Okay, how does this not

571
00:22:27,921 --> 00:22:30,599
constitute making the movie on your own?

572
00:22:30,641 --> 00:22:32,619
Because this isn't going in the movie.

573
00:22:32,661 --> 00:22:33,884
Well, why'd you film it?

574
00:22:34,791 --> 00:22:36,279
Because I hate failing at things

575
00:22:36,321 --> 00:22:37,914
and I wanted to see if I could.

576
00:22:38,991 --> 00:22:39,782
Okay.

577
00:22:39,824 --> 00:22:41,119
What'd you tell her?

578
00:22:41,161 --> 00:22:41,952
Just watch the movie.

579
00:22:41,994 --> 00:22:44,131
Well, I thought this
wasn't for the movie.

580
00:22:45,441 --> 00:22:48,554
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I just
haven't seen any boobs yet, so.

581
00:22:49,521 --> 00:22:51,021
Okay, all right, just play it.

582
00:22:53,541 --> 00:22:55,379
It's archival purposes

583
00:22:55,421 --> 00:22:56,577
and it keeps it from being weird

584
00:22:56,601 --> 00:22:58,019
'cause if I was just recording you,

585
00:22:58,061 --> 00:23:00,699
I mean, that would be a
little, that'd be creepy.

586
00:23:00,741 --> 00:23:03,399
And what exactly do you do in film?

587
00:23:03,441 --> 00:23:04,959
I'm a producer actually.

588
00:23:05,001 --> 00:23:07,892
But don't worry, I'm not
trying to cast you or anything.

589
00:23:07,934 --> 00:23:11,330
I don't know. I think
I'd be an okay actress.

590
00:23:11,372 --> 00:23:12,899
Okay.

591
00:23:12,941 --> 00:23:17,339
So if you're not, you know, why are you?

592
00:23:17,381 --> 00:23:18,579
It's just for research

593
00:23:18,621 --> 00:23:20,337
for a character that
we're trying to develop.

594
00:23:20,361 --> 00:23:21,329
Oh, really?

595
00:23:21,371 --> 00:23:22,371
What's she like?

596
00:23:23,361 --> 00:23:26,284
Well, she's complicated.

597
00:23:27,411 --> 00:23:29,049
Thanks, I think.

598
00:23:29,091 --> 00:23:30,959
No, it's just
research that we're doing

599
00:23:31,001 --> 00:23:34,019
instead of having some male guy

600
00:23:34,061 --> 00:23:36,949
just typing up how he
thinks a woman should speak.

601
00:23:36,991 --> 00:23:40,364
You know? It's nice to
know how an actual woman...

602
00:23:40,406 --> 00:23:42,029
Okay.

603
00:23:42,071 --> 00:23:42,919
Hey, what the hell?

604
00:23:42,961 --> 00:23:44,061
I didn't say anything.

605
00:23:45,221 --> 00:23:46,012
That's okay.

606
00:23:46,054 --> 00:23:48,211
There's nothing more
that's really interesting.

607
00:23:49,211 --> 00:23:50,179
You didn't score, did you?

608
00:23:50,221 --> 00:23:52,054
No, I did, I did.

609
00:23:54,385 --> 00:23:55,529
Okay.

610
00:23:55,571 --> 00:23:59,259
What? You get your confidence
back and now you want back in?

611
00:23:59,301 --> 00:24:02,139
I like her, like for real.

612
00:24:02,181 --> 00:24:03,759
What the fuck, David.

613
00:24:03,801 --> 00:24:05,799
I still wanna do the movie though.

614
00:24:05,841 --> 00:24:08,619
What is she, just super open-minded?

615
00:24:08,661 --> 00:24:12,284
No, she thinks I'm a filmmaker.

616
00:24:14,161 --> 00:24:15,444
Okay, so you're just gonna act around

617
00:24:15,468 --> 00:24:17,489
and make your lie a true thing?

618
00:24:17,531 --> 00:24:19,679
No, people make out in
movies and stuff all the time

619
00:24:19,721 --> 00:24:20,599
so it doesn't matter.

620
00:24:20,641 --> 00:24:24,059
But the thing is, I know
you want a documentary

621
00:24:24,101 --> 00:24:26,934
and if I'm in this, that
means I'm gonna be acting.

622
00:24:28,161 --> 00:24:29,161
Is that okay?

623
00:24:31,297 --> 00:24:35,821
Hey, man, when is anyone
ever not acting, right?

624
00:24:37,795 --> 00:24:38,619
All right, let's make a movie.

625
00:24:38,661 --> 00:24:40,839
Let's make a movie, right?

626
00:24:40,881 --> 00:24:42,174
We'll make a movie,
it'll be a good movie.

627
00:24:42,198 --> 00:24:43,698
All right, I'm sweaty.

628
00:24:47,541 --> 00:24:49,084
So, let's do a little pop quiz.

629
00:24:50,111 --> 00:24:53,909
On this profile, which
one do you think this is?

630
00:24:53,951 --> 00:24:56,699
Okay, hopefully her.

631
00:24:56,741 --> 00:24:59,029
- Which one? Her?
- This one here, yeah.

632
00:24:59,071 --> 00:25:01,179
No, it is never her.

633
00:25:01,221 --> 00:25:02,012
Damn.

634
00:25:02,054 --> 00:25:03,251
Yeah.

635
00:25:03,293 --> 00:25:04,084
We're gonna do a little game.

636
00:25:04,126 --> 00:25:07,809
I want you to read the
little subtext titles here

637
00:25:07,851 --> 00:25:09,004
and I'm gonna do a translation for you.

638
00:25:09,028 --> 00:25:10,509
I'm about to educate you.

639
00:25:10,551 --> 00:25:11,551
Okay, fun.

640
00:25:12,491 --> 00:25:16,329
Okay, quirky sense of humor.

641
00:25:16,371 --> 00:25:17,162
Not funny.

642
00:25:17,204 --> 00:25:19,464
Damn, no, she's not funny? Okay.

643
00:25:20,641 --> 00:25:21,829
No.

644
00:25:21,871 --> 00:25:24,321
All right. Very
open-minded and outgoing.

645
00:25:25,481 --> 00:25:27,849
Anal sex is a possibility.

646
00:25:27,891 --> 00:25:28,682
Really?

647
00:25:28,724 --> 00:25:29,969
Yeah.

648
00:25:30,011 --> 00:25:31,342
Trust me on that one.

649
00:25:31,384 --> 00:25:32,997
I trust you.

650
00:25:33,039 --> 00:25:36,109
Okay, family oriented.

651
00:25:36,151 --> 00:25:37,519
That means she has a kid.

652
00:25:37,561 --> 00:25:38,352
No.

653
00:25:38,394 --> 00:25:39,185
Yes, I guarantee you.

654
00:25:39,227 --> 00:25:40,957
Go through those pictures,
I bet you anything

655
00:25:40,981 --> 00:25:42,899
there's a picture of a kid in there.

656
00:25:42,941 --> 00:25:43,732
Yup, there is.

657
00:25:43,774 --> 00:25:44,565
- There's a kid.
- I was right?

658
00:25:44,607 --> 00:25:46,699
- Nicely done, yeah.
- See, called it.

659
00:25:46,741 --> 00:25:49,044
Oh, well, at least she's outgoing.

660
00:25:51,121 --> 00:25:53,021
- Right?
- Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

661
00:25:53,911 --> 00:25:56,049
She's down for the butt-sucks.

662
00:25:56,091 --> 00:25:57,891
Oh, race, definitely not an issue.

663
00:26:00,031 --> 00:26:02,609
That means she doesn't
get along with her parents.

664
00:26:02,651 --> 00:26:03,442
What?

665
00:26:03,484 --> 00:26:05,089
Mm-hmm.

666
00:26:05,131 --> 00:26:07,659
Okay, well, which one
are you gonna talk to?

667
00:26:07,701 --> 00:26:08,709
All of them.

668
00:26:08,751 --> 00:26:09,579
Why?

669
00:26:09,621 --> 00:26:10,833
Probability.

670
00:26:10,875 --> 00:26:13,929
Do you tell these
girls what you're doing?

671
00:26:13,971 --> 00:26:14,869
Yeah, of course.

672
00:26:14,911 --> 00:26:17,109
I'm always telling the truth.

673
00:26:17,151 --> 00:26:20,089
You, babe, are one in a million.

674
00:26:20,131 --> 00:26:21,924
Hmm, all right.

675
00:26:23,811 --> 00:26:25,849
Okay. What's next?

676
00:26:25,891 --> 00:26:28,259
Next, we do research.

677
00:26:28,301 --> 00:26:30,109
Okay, so, first thing you wanna do,

678
00:26:30,151 --> 00:26:32,669
is weed out the robots and trust me,

679
00:26:32,711 --> 00:26:34,598
there's a lot of fucking ro...

680
00:26:35,465 --> 00:26:37,015
All right, what's next?

681
00:26:38,581 --> 00:26:43,581
Next, we chat online and
then if things work out there,

682
00:26:43,871 --> 00:26:45,074
we chat in person.

683
00:26:47,431 --> 00:26:49,164
Oh, look, she's a vet.

684
00:26:50,031 --> 00:26:52,849
That's awesome, you should
one-up her and be a doctor.

685
00:26:52,891 --> 00:26:56,299
No, I shouldn't be a doctor.

686
00:26:56,341 --> 00:26:57,739
Okay, so I have to ask.

687
00:26:57,781 --> 00:27:00,163
Yes, they are for work.

688
00:27:00,205 --> 00:27:01,979
But you're a doctor, right?

689
00:27:02,021 --> 00:27:02,889
So?

690
00:27:02,931 --> 00:27:06,304
Well, sort of, I may
have fibbed a little bit.

691
00:27:06,346 --> 00:27:07,439
I feel like,

692
00:27:07,481 --> 00:27:11,202
people judge me whenever
they find out the truth.

693
00:27:11,244 --> 00:27:14,731
Oh my God, tell me about it.

694
00:27:14,773 --> 00:27:15,564
About what?

695
00:27:15,606 --> 00:27:16,469
Here we go.

696
00:27:16,511 --> 00:27:17,409
Look, this one says

697
00:27:17,451 --> 00:27:19,949
she just got out of a
serious relationship.

698
00:27:19,991 --> 00:27:22,129
Yeah, she could be a
grieve counselor, right?

699
00:27:22,171 --> 00:27:24,279
Oh, she's looking more like a lawyer.

700
00:27:24,321 --> 00:27:25,347
Ah, no, I can't be a lawyer.

701
00:27:25,371 --> 00:27:27,147
They're pretty much the
only ones that don't lie.

702
00:27:27,171 --> 00:27:29,533
Am I in some
kind of trouble, or?

703
00:27:29,575 --> 00:27:31,449
What?

704
00:27:31,491 --> 00:27:33,679
Is there a reason
that you're filming me?

705
00:27:33,721 --> 00:27:35,144
Oh, I am so sorry.

706
00:27:36,981 --> 00:27:39,279
This was from the deposition.

707
00:27:39,321 --> 00:27:40,112
David?

708
00:27:40,154 --> 00:27:40,945
- Hi.
- Hi.

709
00:27:40,987 --> 00:27:42,061
Hilary, how are you?

710
00:27:43,741 --> 00:27:45,349
Welcome, come have a seat.

711
00:27:45,391 --> 00:27:46,581
What's this?

712
00:27:47,593 --> 00:27:49,729
It's stupid, I know,

713
00:27:49,771 --> 00:27:51,739
and I probably shouldn't do it,

714
00:27:51,781 --> 00:27:54,884
but I feel like I might
regret it if I don't.

715
00:27:55,891 --> 00:27:57,439
Would you mind if on tape,

716
00:27:57,481 --> 00:27:59,304
I asked you a series of questions?

717
00:28:00,511 --> 00:28:02,109
I have a client who's really nervous

718
00:28:02,151 --> 00:28:03,517
about how the jury's gonna perceive her.

719
00:28:03,541 --> 00:28:05,629
I am a cosmetic surgeon.

720
00:28:05,671 --> 00:28:07,689
So why are you filming me?

721
00:28:07,731 --> 00:28:09,679
Is this a before and after video?

722
00:28:09,721 --> 00:28:11,309
You gonna fix my face?

723
00:28:11,351 --> 00:28:12,142
No, no, no, look.

724
00:28:12,184 --> 00:28:15,129
It's just, I'm sentimental, okay?

725
00:28:15,171 --> 00:28:18,439
And I figured, if you and I hit it off,

726
00:28:18,481 --> 00:28:20,483
how awesome would it be,

727
00:28:20,525 --> 00:28:23,309
if we had the first time
we ever met, on tape?

728
00:28:23,351 --> 00:28:27,209
Wow, you're totally serious.

729
00:28:27,251 --> 00:28:28,402
Yeah.

730
00:28:28,444 --> 00:28:29,557
I mean, you and me,

731
00:28:29,599 --> 00:28:31,112
we can always go back and
look at the first time

732
00:28:31,136 --> 00:28:32,229
you ever laid eyes on me.

733
00:28:32,271 --> 00:28:35,189
Yeah and I doubted the shit out of you.

734
00:28:35,231 --> 00:28:38,454
So, let's start
by stating your name.

735
00:28:39,461 --> 00:28:40,861
My name is Katrina.

736
00:28:42,231 --> 00:28:43,827
I'm sorry, I thought you
said your name was Kayla.

737
00:28:43,851 --> 00:28:47,784
Oh, well, that's how I
call myself, is that okay?

738
00:28:48,731 --> 00:28:50,447
Remind me not to call
you up as a witness.

739
00:28:50,489 --> 00:28:51,569
Okay.

740
00:28:51,611 --> 00:28:52,767
So, what is your favorite?

741
00:28:55,651 --> 00:28:57,294
Did you just fake a sneeze?

742
00:28:59,871 --> 00:29:00,964
Well, gesundheit.

743
00:29:02,321 --> 00:29:04,889
Did you know, that in Germany,

744
00:29:04,931 --> 00:29:07,009
gez is the German word for weight.

745
00:29:07,051 --> 00:29:09,139
So, whenever you went
to go see your doctor,

746
00:29:09,181 --> 00:29:11,419
he would ask you for your
weight and your height.

747
00:29:11,461 --> 00:29:13,724
Your, gesundheit.

748
00:29:14,931 --> 00:29:15,931
Really? Huh?

749
00:29:18,231 --> 00:29:21,479
So why would she fake
sneeze, I don't get it.

750
00:29:21,521 --> 00:29:23,889
Sneezing is the most honest expression

751
00:29:23,931 --> 00:29:25,279
a person can possibly do.

752
00:29:25,321 --> 00:29:26,919
So, if they look cute sneezing,

753
00:29:26,961 --> 00:29:30,081
they will look cute doing
literally anything else.

754
00:29:31,992 --> 00:29:34,185
Okay, all right.

755
00:29:34,227 --> 00:29:36,142
Is he with you?

756
00:29:36,184 --> 00:29:37,729
What?

757
00:29:37,771 --> 00:29:40,014
Is he helping you sentimentalize?

758
00:29:42,216 --> 00:29:43,216
No.

759
00:29:44,661 --> 00:29:45,639
Hey buddy.

760
00:29:45,681 --> 00:29:46,472
What?

761
00:29:46,514 --> 00:29:47,514
Are you filming us?

762
00:29:48,381 --> 00:29:50,515
Are you filming us?

763
00:29:50,557 --> 00:29:52,842
No, I'm just watching a movie.

764
00:29:52,884 --> 00:29:54,271
Now we'll be able to
remember the first time

765
00:29:54,295 --> 00:29:56,244
we told a creeper to fuck off, together.

766
00:29:58,821 --> 00:30:00,298
So, KaylaKat,

767
00:30:03,271 --> 00:30:05,424
would you like to come back to my office?

768
00:30:07,005 --> 00:30:12,005
Wouldn't that
be a conflict of interest?

769
00:30:14,020 --> 00:30:15,020
Mr. Lawyer.

770
00:30:16,021 --> 00:30:19,039
I think interests are only interesting

771
00:30:19,081 --> 00:30:20,281
when they're conflicted.

772
00:30:25,261 --> 00:30:26,396
Great fucking line.

773
00:30:26,438 --> 00:30:27,639
I know, right?

774
00:30:27,681 --> 00:30:28,714
Get out of here.

775
00:30:30,481 --> 00:30:31,780
Did you script it?

776
00:30:31,822 --> 00:30:33,011
No,

777
00:30:33,053 --> 00:30:35,851
I have been waiting fucking
forever to say it though.

778
00:30:37,973 --> 00:30:40,089
Okay. All right.

779
00:30:40,131 --> 00:30:41,899
On to the interesting interest.

780
00:30:41,941 --> 00:30:44,132
Are you filming this too?

781
00:30:44,174 --> 00:30:45,274
I mean, should I be?

782
00:30:46,271 --> 00:30:47,271
No.

783
00:30:48,256 --> 00:30:49,568
Maybe so.

784
00:30:49,610 --> 00:30:51,017
That way, whenever I'm old and decrepit

785
00:30:51,041 --> 00:30:52,939
and have erectile dysfunction.

786
00:30:52,981 --> 00:30:54,429
You're smoking hot at 85,

787
00:30:54,471 --> 00:30:55,487
we can always look back at the days

788
00:30:55,511 --> 00:30:56,925
when I was able to satisfy you.

789
00:30:56,967 --> 00:30:58,281
Oh, you think you will?

790
00:30:58,323 --> 00:30:59,323
I hope so.

791
00:31:00,441 --> 00:31:01,441
Okay.

792
00:31:02,245 --> 00:31:03,411
Really?

793
00:31:12,664 --> 00:31:15,983
All right, camera's rolling.

794
00:31:16,025 --> 00:31:18,051
I thought you said you were six one.

795
00:31:18,093 --> 00:31:20,904
That was before the surgery.

796
00:31:20,946 --> 00:31:22,866
I'm just messing with you,
everything works fine.

797
00:31:22,896 --> 00:31:25,216
Oh my God.

798
00:31:33,610 --> 00:31:34,401
Okay.

799
00:31:34,443 --> 00:31:35,234
Hey!

800
00:31:35,276 --> 00:31:36,857
I'm sorry, can we just
talk about this high thing

801
00:31:36,881 --> 00:31:37,881
for a second?

802
00:31:39,111 --> 00:31:40,599
Yeah, if we must, sure.

803
00:31:40,641 --> 00:31:43,399
Okay, so I lie and I say
that I'm two inches taller

804
00:31:43,441 --> 00:31:44,232
than I really am.

805
00:31:44,274 --> 00:31:45,499
And they catch you.

806
00:31:45,541 --> 00:31:47,309
Yeah, sure, they do.

807
00:31:47,351 --> 00:31:48,429
What else is a lie?

808
00:31:48,471 --> 00:31:49,649
What?

809
00:31:49,691 --> 00:31:51,129
Bras.

810
00:31:51,171 --> 00:31:52,334
Bras are a lie.

811
00:31:53,211 --> 00:31:54,337
Have you ever taken a girl's bra off

812
00:31:54,361 --> 00:31:55,669
and not felt disappointment?

813
00:31:55,711 --> 00:31:56,999
Yes, all the time.

814
00:31:57,041 --> 00:32:00,909
Okay, so, the bra is
there obviously to sell

815
00:32:00,951 --> 00:32:02,894
the fake size and shape of a boob.

816
00:32:04,671 --> 00:32:06,469
Breast in show.

817
00:32:06,511 --> 00:32:07,599
Right.

818
00:32:07,641 --> 00:32:09,249
So why is tall, dark and handsome

819
00:32:09,291 --> 00:32:12,096
a perfectly acceptable thing
for a woman to look for?

820
00:32:12,138 --> 00:32:14,869
But a big breasted blonde
is not an acceptable thing

821
00:32:14,911 --> 00:32:16,609
for a guy to look for?

822
00:32:16,651 --> 00:32:18,859
Neither trait matters.

823
00:32:18,901 --> 00:32:20,779
Okay, I see you're
passionate about this,

824
00:32:20,821 --> 00:32:21,612
I appreciate it.

825
00:32:21,654 --> 00:32:23,679
But let's do this.
Let's just keep playing.

826
00:32:23,721 --> 00:32:24,512
Okay?

827
00:32:24,554 --> 00:32:26,519
And we'll see if we're disappointed.

828
00:32:26,561 --> 00:32:28,289
Actually, well, no, hers are great.

829
00:32:28,331 --> 00:32:29,657
There was no disappointment there,

830
00:32:29,681 --> 00:32:31,849
but I have this other thing to show you.

831
00:32:31,891 --> 00:32:33,269
Okay, so check this out.

832
00:32:33,311 --> 00:32:34,169
Okay.

833
00:32:34,211 --> 00:32:35,539
What is it? Is it a sex scene?

834
00:32:35,581 --> 00:32:36,372
Yeah.

835
00:32:36,414 --> 00:32:37,475
- Really?
- No.

836
00:32:37,517 --> 00:32:39,789
Okay, I'm
filming your sex scenes

837
00:32:39,831 --> 00:32:40,622
from now on.

838
00:32:40,664 --> 00:32:41,849
Sure, whatever.

839
00:32:41,891 --> 00:32:43,441
All right, check this girl out.

840
00:32:45,251 --> 00:32:46,474
Okay, now look her.

841
00:32:47,731 --> 00:32:49,569
What is she lying about?

842
00:32:49,611 --> 00:32:50,611
Her gez?

843
00:32:52,563 --> 00:32:53,354
Her what?

844
00:32:53,396 --> 00:32:54,312
Her weight.

845
00:32:54,354 --> 00:32:55,879
I don't know, is she an A cup?

846
00:32:55,921 --> 00:32:56,712
I don't know.

847
00:32:56,754 --> 00:32:57,545
Yeah.

848
00:32:57,587 --> 00:32:58,797
Well, actually, no, I don't know.

849
00:32:58,821 --> 00:33:00,749
Watch, just check this out.

850
00:33:00,791 --> 00:33:02,409
You can stop
pretending, you know?

851
00:33:02,451 --> 00:33:03,429
What?

852
00:33:03,471 --> 00:33:05,789
Stop pretending not to notice.

853
00:33:05,831 --> 00:33:06,831
You can just ask.

854
00:33:08,382 --> 00:33:09,929
Oh, okay.

855
00:33:09,971 --> 00:33:12,334
So, how did it happen?

856
00:33:13,231 --> 00:33:15,299
Polar bear
attack when I was a kid.

857
00:33:15,341 --> 00:33:16,649
Really?

858
00:33:16,691 --> 00:33:18,829
No, would be a cool story though, right?

859
00:33:18,871 --> 00:33:21,214
No, yeah, that would've
been a great story.

860
00:33:21,256 --> 00:33:23,367
Get it? Cool story?

861
00:33:23,409 --> 00:33:25,742
Oh my God, that was funny.

862
00:33:27,143 --> 00:33:28,689
Can I ask you a serious question?

863
00:33:28,731 --> 00:33:30,129
Yeah, I'd love that.

864
00:33:30,171 --> 00:33:32,789
How come you don't
show it on your profile?

865
00:33:32,831 --> 00:33:34,009
I used to,

866
00:33:34,051 --> 00:33:37,409
but then all I really got
were amputee fetishists,

867
00:33:37,451 --> 00:33:39,459
which is fine.

868
00:33:39,501 --> 00:33:44,501
But now, when I use it
as a reveal, it's a test.

869
00:33:45,061 --> 00:33:47,049
Are they into me, the person?

870
00:33:47,091 --> 00:33:49,774
Or me, the body they were expecting?

871
00:33:51,471 --> 00:33:52,829
Be real with me.

872
00:33:52,871 --> 00:33:54,038
What happened?

873
00:33:55,305 --> 00:33:58,009
I was just born without it.

874
00:33:58,051 --> 00:33:58,842
No shit.

875
00:33:58,884 --> 00:34:02,774
Yeah, so, not as
interesting, hence the stories.

876
00:34:04,831 --> 00:34:07,406
Did you wanna hold my hand?

877
00:34:12,311 --> 00:34:14,069
What?

878
00:34:14,111 --> 00:34:16,019
That's a little weird, right?

879
00:34:16,061 --> 00:34:17,647
The fact that you were
having a conversation

880
00:34:17,671 --> 00:34:20,559
about the subject of the film
with one of its subjects?

881
00:34:20,601 --> 00:34:21,629
No.

882
00:34:21,671 --> 00:34:23,127
That she didn't say
anything about the arm,

883
00:34:23,151 --> 00:34:23,979
like that upfront.

884
00:34:24,021 --> 00:34:25,814
Like that is weird, right?

885
00:34:27,803 --> 00:34:28,594
I don't know.

886
00:34:28,636 --> 00:34:30,337
Maybe she doesn't wanna
be defined as that, right?

887
00:34:30,361 --> 00:34:31,369
I mean, it's like...

888
00:34:31,411 --> 00:34:32,202
Okay, look.

889
00:34:32,244 --> 00:34:33,869
Here's a hypothetical, okay?

890
00:34:33,911 --> 00:34:36,669
Let's say you were dating this chick

891
00:34:36,711 --> 00:34:38,681
and then one day you slept with her

892
00:34:40,271 --> 00:34:41,999
and then eventually down the line,

893
00:34:42,041 --> 00:34:43,894
you found out she was a dude.

894
00:34:44,891 --> 00:34:45,974
Would you be pissed?

895
00:34:47,211 --> 00:34:49,699
Well, I guess that
means they did the surgery

896
00:34:49,741 --> 00:34:52,839
really, really well, if
I didn't notice, right?

897
00:34:52,881 --> 00:34:54,359
But would you be pissed?

898
00:34:54,401 --> 00:34:56,842
I mean, that is something
she should have, or he,

899
00:34:56,884 --> 00:34:58,577
or whatever, should have
told you from the front.

900
00:34:58,601 --> 00:34:59,489
From the very beginning.

901
00:34:59,531 --> 00:35:00,559
Yeah, well, okay,

902
00:35:00,601 --> 00:35:03,009
but it's one of those things where

903
00:35:03,051 --> 00:35:05,594
it doesn't wanna be identified as that.

904
00:35:07,231 --> 00:35:08,757
Okay, let's say you're a convict, right?

905
00:35:08,781 --> 00:35:11,169
At what point is that
something that you admit?

906
00:35:11,211 --> 00:35:13,729
Like, at what point do you
go on your match.com profile

907
00:35:13,771 --> 00:35:16,212
and put, "Oh, by the
way I do manslaughter."

908
00:35:16,254 --> 00:35:17,862
Yeah, exactly.

909
00:35:17,904 --> 00:35:22,439
At what point do you say,
"Oh, hey, I'm a rapist."

910
00:35:22,481 --> 00:35:23,698
When she says, "No."

911
00:35:26,251 --> 00:35:28,189
Okay, back to left-handed Lara.

912
00:35:28,231 --> 00:35:29,759
Now who's the asshole?

913
00:35:29,801 --> 00:35:31,989
What? No, it seems
like you two hit it off.

914
00:35:32,031 --> 00:35:36,169
Do you think there's some
prospects of maybe...

915
00:35:36,211 --> 00:35:37,869
What? Like sex?

916
00:35:37,911 --> 00:35:38,879
I mean, or more?

917
00:35:38,921 --> 00:35:39,921
- I don't know - No.

918
00:35:40,714 --> 00:35:41,857
Why? It's because of the arm?

919
00:35:41,881 --> 00:35:43,969
No, it's because of Crystal.

920
00:35:44,011 --> 00:35:45,889
Oh, fuck.

921
00:35:45,931 --> 00:35:47,689
Fuck, I keep forgetting about Crystal.

922
00:35:47,731 --> 00:35:48,699
Is that still a thing?

923
00:35:48,741 --> 00:35:49,964
Yeah, is it?

924
00:35:50,006 --> 00:35:50,936
Jesus!

925
00:35:50,978 --> 00:35:53,109
Fuck, I did not hear you come in.

926
00:35:53,151 --> 00:35:54,509
Yeah, I noticed.

927
00:35:54,551 --> 00:35:56,909
You also didn't hear me when I called

928
00:35:56,951 --> 00:35:59,749
or hear me when I agreed to
be in a relationship with you.

929
00:35:59,791 --> 00:36:01,614
What the fuck is this?

930
00:36:03,421 --> 00:36:06,557
Well, I told you I
was working on a movie.

931
00:36:06,599 --> 00:36:07,390
This is the movie.

932
00:36:07,432 --> 00:36:10,449
Uh-huh. You told me you were a producer.

933
00:36:10,491 --> 00:36:13,241
You didn't say you'd be
sleeping with a bunch of girls.

934
00:36:14,429 --> 00:36:17,129
You obviously don't
know what a producer does.

935
00:36:19,251 --> 00:36:22,019
So what? You're acting now?

936
00:36:22,061 --> 00:36:23,157
Is that what you're gonna tell me?

937
00:36:23,181 --> 00:36:24,824
These are all performances?

938
00:36:25,731 --> 00:36:26,873
That's exactly what this is.

939
00:36:26,915 --> 00:36:30,029
These are unscripted performances.

940
00:36:30,071 --> 00:36:31,849
We're shooting a social satire.

941
00:36:31,891 --> 00:36:34,029
Yeah, Breast in Show.

942
00:36:34,071 --> 00:36:36,059
Let me see the script.

943
00:36:36,101 --> 00:36:37,951
No, well, there is no script.

944
00:36:38,831 --> 00:36:40,539
It's a lot like "Borat."

945
00:36:40,581 --> 00:36:42,869
It's a completely unscripted documentary,

946
00:36:42,911 --> 00:36:44,169
but it's also a movie.

947
00:36:44,211 --> 00:36:46,866
It is absolutely cutting-edge.

948
00:36:46,908 --> 00:36:49,504
"Borat" won an Oscar
for best screenplay.

949
00:36:50,561 --> 00:36:51,569
How do you know that?

950
00:36:51,611 --> 00:36:53,269
Because I'm into movies.

951
00:36:53,311 --> 00:36:55,199
Or did David neglect to tell you that?

952
00:36:55,241 --> 00:36:56,318
Oh, oh.

953
00:36:58,271 --> 00:36:59,971
No, he didn't technically tell me.

954
00:37:03,551 --> 00:37:05,643
You showed him the tape, didn't you?

955
00:37:05,685 --> 00:37:06,476
What?

956
00:37:06,518 --> 00:37:08,791
No, fuck, Crystal, wait!

957
00:37:13,794 --> 00:37:15,627
Well he should have.

958
00:37:35,359 --> 00:37:36,359
There we go.

959
00:37:42,231 --> 00:37:43,231
Go ahead.

960
00:37:45,401 --> 00:37:46,469
We have a problem.

961
00:37:46,511 --> 00:37:47,399
Yeah, let me guess.

962
00:37:47,441 --> 00:37:49,869
Your girlfriend won't let
you be in the movie anymore?

963
00:37:49,911 --> 00:37:51,919
Not exactly, no.

964
00:37:51,961 --> 00:37:53,739
Okay, you broke up with her

965
00:37:53,781 --> 00:37:55,409
and now you want out?

966
00:37:55,451 --> 00:37:56,451
No.

967
00:37:57,881 --> 00:37:58,881
All right, what?

968
00:38:01,401 --> 00:38:02,401
She wants in.

969
00:38:04,401 --> 00:38:05,229
Okay, yeah.

970
00:38:05,271 --> 00:38:06,062
Okay, great.

971
00:38:06,104 --> 00:38:06,895
Associate producer credit coming her way,

972
00:38:06,937 --> 00:38:07,839
- easy.
- No, look,

973
00:38:07,881 --> 00:38:09,014
she wants to be in it.

974
00:38:12,421 --> 00:38:13,212
Okay, yeah.

975
00:38:13,254 --> 00:38:15,009
We'll add the clip of her interrupting us.

976
00:38:15,051 --> 00:38:17,409
I just add that in and that'll...

977
00:38:17,451 --> 00:38:19,287
No, we're not gonna include
that clip into the movie,

978
00:38:19,311 --> 00:38:22,699
she actually wants to
play a role, like a part.

979
00:38:22,741 --> 00:38:23,539
A part?

980
00:38:23,581 --> 00:38:25,049
Yeah.

981
00:38:25,091 --> 00:38:25,969
David, that will never work.

982
00:38:26,011 --> 00:38:28,229
Do you see it? That destroys
the integrity of the film.

983
00:38:28,271 --> 00:38:30,689
If she starts acting, it ruins everything.

984
00:38:30,731 --> 00:38:31,522
I mean, wasn't it you who said,

985
00:38:31,564 --> 00:38:33,659
"When is anyone ever not acting?"

986
00:38:33,701 --> 00:38:34,901
No, I never said that.

987
00:38:39,661 --> 00:38:42,149
I think it would be good.

988
00:38:42,191 --> 00:38:44,904
She'll be adding another level to the lie.

989
00:38:47,391 --> 00:38:48,182
Okay.

990
00:38:48,224 --> 00:38:50,979
We'll add this clip, just so
everyone knows she's acting.

991
00:38:51,021 --> 00:38:51,909
That'll work.

992
00:38:51,951 --> 00:38:53,839
No, that's not.

993
00:38:53,881 --> 00:38:55,270
Let's just give her a restaurant scene,

994
00:38:55,294 --> 00:38:59,424
just a standard, simple, restaurant scene.

995
00:39:03,241 --> 00:39:06,196
Okay, one scene. That's it.

996
00:39:12,134 --> 00:39:12,925
- Hey.
- Hey.

997
00:39:12,967 --> 00:39:14,829
What are you doing?

998
00:39:14,871 --> 00:39:16,454
We're making a scene.

999
00:39:17,551 --> 00:39:18,441
No, we're not.

1000
00:39:18,483 --> 00:39:20,689
What scene are we doing?

1001
00:39:20,731 --> 00:39:21,769
My scene.

1002
00:39:21,811 --> 00:39:23,489
Okay, what happens in this scene?

1003
00:39:23,531 --> 00:39:26,099
Can I go get dressed
before we shoot the scene?

1004
00:39:26,141 --> 00:39:27,439
This isn't the scene,

1005
00:39:27,481 --> 00:39:29,559
this is just behind the scenes.

1006
00:39:29,601 --> 00:39:32,919
I'm gonna go get
dressed, and is that okay?

1007
00:39:32,961 --> 00:39:35,284
Check this out.

1008
00:39:37,451 --> 00:39:38,509
What was that?

1009
00:39:38,551 --> 00:39:41,889
I thought we could do the
gesundheit bit in our scene.

1010
00:39:41,931 --> 00:39:43,569
I mean, we
already shot that bit.

1011
00:39:43,611 --> 00:39:46,859
Yeah, but we'll do it better.

1012
00:39:46,901 --> 00:39:47,901
It'll be good.

1013
00:39:49,421 --> 00:39:52,759
Well, it's not supposed to be good.

1014
00:39:52,801 --> 00:39:54,069
It's supposed to be real

1015
00:39:54,111 --> 00:39:55,949
and it's original and that's the point.

1016
00:39:55,991 --> 00:39:57,284
Nothing is original.

1017
00:39:58,491 --> 00:40:00,504
Okay, you're right.

1018
00:40:01,571 --> 00:40:02,362
Here's what I'm gonna do.

1019
00:40:02,404 --> 00:40:04,579
I am going to, real quick,

1020
00:40:04,621 --> 00:40:06,819
I'm gonna go change and
then I'm gonna come back

1021
00:40:06,861 --> 00:40:08,499
and then together,

1022
00:40:08,541 --> 00:40:11,274
we are gonna write a
good unoriginal scene.

1023
00:40:12,728 --> 00:40:14,644
Can it take place at the park?

1024
00:40:18,091 --> 00:40:22,369
So David, do you wanna tell
me why you're filming us?

1025
00:40:22,411 --> 00:40:25,259
Yeah, and if you don't want me to,

1026
00:40:25,301 --> 00:40:26,319
we can stop at

1027
00:40:26,361 --> 00:40:27,477
- any point in time.
- Oh, no.

1028
00:40:27,501 --> 00:40:28,292
It's okay.

1029
00:40:28,334 --> 00:40:31,049
I just feel like I look
weird on camera.

1030
00:40:31,091 --> 00:40:34,046
Oh no, you look fantastic.

1031
00:40:34,088 --> 00:40:35,259
And that's just it,

1032
00:40:35,301 --> 00:40:37,809
I'm doing an art installation piece,

1033
00:40:37,851 --> 00:40:40,017
called Real People, Real Places.

1034
00:40:40,059 --> 00:40:42,109
Really?

1035
00:40:42,151 --> 00:40:43,261
Yeah it's...

1036
00:40:44,510 --> 00:40:47,759
And then you're supposed
to do that bit, you know?

1037
00:40:47,801 --> 00:40:48,907
- It's okay.
- Oh, yeah you're right.

1038
00:40:48,931 --> 00:40:50,089
Just take it back.

1039
00:40:50,131 --> 00:40:51,881
We're good, we're good to go, yeah.

1040
00:40:54,811 --> 00:40:56,949
I'm doing an art installation piece.

1041
00:40:56,991 --> 00:41:00,394
It's called Real People, Real Places.

1042
00:41:01,231 --> 00:41:02,301
Really?

1043
00:41:02,343 --> 00:41:04,605
Yeah, really.

1044
00:41:05,671 --> 00:41:08,789
It's about how beautiful
people act in their natural...

1045
00:41:08,831 --> 00:41:11,146
So, do you need me to tell
you a little bit about myself?

1046
00:41:11,188 --> 00:41:11,979
Sure.

1047
00:41:12,021 --> 00:41:13,397
Why don't you tell me about yourself?

1048
00:41:13,421 --> 00:41:16,044
Yeah, okay.

1049
00:41:25,021 --> 00:41:26,021
Gesundheit!

1050
00:41:27,341 --> 00:41:30,998
Did you know that gez is
the German word for weight?

1051
00:41:38,290 --> 00:41:39,367
Hey, I was thinking...

1052
00:41:46,091 --> 00:41:48,264
You seem a lot taller
than you said online.

1053
00:41:53,031 --> 00:41:55,626
You know, I've heard it's a lunar thing?

1054
00:41:58,981 --> 00:42:00,531
You should turn the camera off.

1055
00:42:01,922 --> 00:42:02,713
What?

1056
00:42:02,755 --> 00:42:04,344
You should turn the camera off.

1057
00:42:06,296 --> 00:42:07,296
Okay.

1058
00:42:11,241 --> 00:42:12,459
Is it off?

1059
00:42:12,501 --> 00:42:13,501
Yup.

1060
00:42:16,251 --> 00:42:17,801
We should have sex.

1061
00:42:18,921 --> 00:42:21,706
Okay, wait,
like for movie? Or like?

1062
00:42:21,748 --> 00:42:22,539
No, for real.

1063
00:42:22,581 --> 00:42:23,865
Let's have sex, let's do it.

1064
00:42:23,907 --> 00:42:24,698
For real.

1065
00:42:24,740 --> 00:42:27,804
Okay, I can't tell if you're
being Crystal right now?

1066
00:42:28,958 --> 00:42:30,549
I'm really confused.

1067
00:42:30,591 --> 00:42:32,189
Yes and no.

1068
00:42:32,231 --> 00:42:34,323
Sam's filming this, right?

1069
00:42:34,365 --> 00:42:36,203
Probably.

1070
00:42:40,638 --> 00:42:41,638
Okay.

1071
00:42:45,086 --> 00:42:46,336
Okay, so, like,

1072
00:42:48,452 --> 00:42:49,489
are you serious?

1073
00:42:49,531 --> 00:42:51,831
Shh, don't
worry, I'm on the pill.

1074
00:42:53,501 --> 00:42:55,144
Oh, you had better not be lying.

1075
00:42:55,186 --> 00:42:57,049
No, never.

1076
00:42:57,091 --> 00:42:58,220
Crystal, I can't.

1077
00:42:58,262 --> 00:43:00,782
'Cause really, he can't hear us.

1078
00:43:00,824 --> 00:43:01,615
Yeah, I know.

1079
00:43:01,657 --> 00:43:02,448
Serious?

1080
00:43:02,490 --> 00:43:03,809
Uh-huh.

1081
00:43:03,851 --> 00:43:06,849
Oh! Hello, hi.

1082
00:43:06,891 --> 00:43:08,254
Oh, okay.

1083
00:43:10,821 --> 00:43:11,612
That's a thing.

1084
00:43:11,654 --> 00:43:12,654
Uh-huh.

1085
00:43:13,331 --> 00:43:14,929
Are the cameras set?

1086
00:43:14,971 --> 00:43:16,134
Yeah, they're fine.

1087
00:43:18,871 --> 00:43:20,149
So we have a bit of a problem.

1088
00:43:20,191 --> 00:43:21,849
Yeah, no shit.

1089
00:43:21,891 --> 00:43:23,117
You finally gonna tell me what happened

1090
00:43:23,141 --> 00:43:24,917
after you blocked out the
camera the other night?

1091
00:43:24,941 --> 00:43:26,336
I'll show you.

1092
00:43:26,378 --> 00:43:27,928
You actually filmed it?

1093
00:43:31,061 --> 00:43:32,299
Did you hear me?

1094
00:43:32,341 --> 00:43:34,666
I'm sorry, what was that?

1095
00:43:34,708 --> 00:43:38,694
I don't want you sleeping
with anybody else, understand?

1096
00:43:40,241 --> 00:43:43,262
Okay, but I thought we had agreed that

1097
00:43:43,304 --> 00:43:45,249
we were making this movie.

1098
00:43:45,291 --> 00:43:48,839
Well, so I had this idea.

1099
00:43:48,881 --> 00:43:51,609
What if the character I'm playing,

1100
00:43:51,651 --> 00:43:55,089
does the same thing I did, in real life.

1101
00:43:55,131 --> 00:43:57,219
What if your character falls for her

1102
00:43:57,261 --> 00:44:00,904
and she insists, so you have to pretend?

1103
00:44:02,007 --> 00:44:03,457
Yeah, well, what about Sam?

1104
00:44:05,811 --> 00:44:09,879
Well, that could be a lie
you're telling in the movie.

1105
00:44:09,921 --> 00:44:13,389
You're misleading him into
thinking you're having sex,

1106
00:44:13,431 --> 00:44:15,734
but you're really not in order to keep me.

1107
00:44:16,701 --> 00:44:19,659
I mean, that's a normal guy-thing, right?

1108
00:44:19,701 --> 00:44:21,529
Lying about getting laid?

1109
00:44:21,571 --> 00:44:23,704
Just make it a part of the film.

1110
00:44:25,593 --> 00:44:27,343
Yeah, I guess that's a good idea.

1111
00:44:32,616 --> 00:44:35,173
But we can't tell Sam about it,

1112
00:44:35,215 --> 00:44:37,608
or at least until after the movie's over.

1113
00:44:41,541 --> 00:44:44,269
Okay, so you
didn't actually have sex?

1114
00:44:44,311 --> 00:44:45,795
That's the point of the gag.

1115
00:44:45,837 --> 00:44:46,628
I mean, what do you think?

1116
00:44:46,670 --> 00:44:48,001
I think it's not a bad idea.

1117
00:44:49,631 --> 00:44:52,346
Okay, let me just think for a second.

1118
00:44:52,388 --> 00:44:54,909
We'll have to rework the story a bit.

1119
00:44:54,951 --> 00:44:56,229
Story?

1120
00:44:56,271 --> 00:44:58,099
There is no story.

1121
00:44:58,141 --> 00:44:59,859
That's the point.

1122
00:44:59,901 --> 00:45:01,274
Okay, yeah, right.

1123
00:45:04,251 --> 00:45:05,401
Let me figure this out.

1124
00:45:11,898 --> 00:45:12,998
Are we okay?

1125
00:45:15,531 --> 00:45:16,869
Yeah, we're good.

1126
00:45:16,911 --> 00:45:18,709
So David and his girlfriend

1127
00:45:18,751 --> 00:45:20,899
are starting to give me troubles.

1128
00:45:20,941 --> 00:45:22,199
David's acting like a sheep,

1129
00:45:22,241 --> 00:45:24,759
passing off her ideas to me as his own.

1130
00:45:24,801 --> 00:45:27,009
And then she, for some reason,

1131
00:45:27,051 --> 00:45:30,239
actually likes him and wants
to be in the movie too,

1132
00:45:30,281 --> 00:45:31,514
which is ridiculous.

1133
00:45:32,781 --> 00:45:35,734
So, David, you wanted
her to be in the movie?

1134
00:45:36,731 --> 00:45:38,683
Let's see how you like this.

1135
00:45:45,571 --> 00:45:46,649
Sam, what's up?

1136
00:45:46,691 --> 00:45:48,189
Hey, man, is Crystal there?

1137
00:45:48,231 --> 00:45:49,022
No.

1138
00:45:49,064 --> 00:45:50,587
Okay, good. Look, I
need you to get ready

1139
00:45:50,611 --> 00:45:52,789
because I set up a date for you.

1140
00:45:52,831 --> 00:45:53,622
What?

1141
00:45:53,664 --> 00:45:54,919
You can't set a date for me,

1142
00:45:54,961 --> 00:45:57,769
that defeats the whole
purpose of the movie.

1143
00:45:57,811 --> 00:45:58,602
Okay.

1144
00:45:58,644 --> 00:46:00,047
It's funny to hear you
talk about the legitimacy

1145
00:46:00,071 --> 00:46:01,171
of the doc when you...

1146
00:46:02,501 --> 00:46:03,957
Nevermind, I don't have time
to argue with you, okay?

1147
00:46:03,981 --> 00:46:05,039
She's on her way.

1148
00:46:05,081 --> 00:46:06,081
What?

1149
00:46:06,751 --> 00:46:07,719
You're not filming right now, are you?

1150
00:46:07,761 --> 00:46:09,967
Because I would love to see the
look on your face right now.

1151
00:46:09,991 --> 00:46:11,939
Dude, you've got to
be kidding. Are you kidding?

1152
00:46:11,981 --> 00:46:14,259
I am not, no, she's on
her way, I'll be there soon.

1153
00:46:14,301 --> 00:46:15,344
Later.

1154
00:46:17,841 --> 00:46:19,014
And that's how it's done.

1155
00:46:25,281 --> 00:46:26,337
- Hey, man.
- What the fuck is going on?

1156
00:46:26,361 --> 00:46:27,387
Okay, her name's Michaela,

1157
00:46:27,411 --> 00:46:28,754
I found her on Craigslist, it's perfect.

1158
00:46:28,778 --> 00:46:29,999
You hired a hooker?

1159
00:46:30,041 --> 00:46:30,919
No, no, man.

1160
00:46:30,961 --> 00:46:31,779
She's not a hooker.

1161
00:46:31,821 --> 00:46:33,007
I found her in the personals section.

1162
00:46:33,031 --> 00:46:35,199
Oh, yeah? Did her post end
with, "Donations accepted"?

1163
00:46:35,241 --> 00:46:36,357
Because that's what that
means, she's a hooker.

1164
00:46:36,381 --> 00:46:37,669
Hey, that's mean, man.

1165
00:46:37,711 --> 00:46:40,567
Okay? She's sad and
lonely, blah, blah, blah.

1166
00:46:40,609 --> 00:46:42,400
And what?

1167
00:46:42,442 --> 00:46:44,479
Did you just pretend to be me?

1168
00:46:44,521 --> 00:46:45,339
No, man.

1169
00:46:45,381 --> 00:46:48,774
I pretended to be your
friend, which I am, right?

1170
00:46:52,771 --> 00:46:54,879
I pretended to be your friend, right?

1171
00:46:54,921 --> 00:46:56,797
Which I am, and I told her
you were sad and lonely

1172
00:46:56,821 --> 00:46:58,357
and had trouble talking
to women, which is all...

1173
00:46:58,381 --> 00:47:00,419
Which is bullshit.

1174
00:47:00,461 --> 00:47:02,609
Which is what this
is about, David, okay?

1175
00:47:02,651 --> 00:47:04,109
Okay, well you know what?

1176
00:47:04,151 --> 00:47:05,929
I'm just gonna tell her.

1177
00:47:05,971 --> 00:47:06,762
I'm gonna tell her,

1178
00:47:06,804 --> 00:47:07,653
I'm gonna tell her about all this.

1179
00:47:07,695 --> 00:47:08,486
You know what?

1180
00:47:08,528 --> 00:47:10,017
For the first time, tell
her whatever you want.

1181
00:47:10,041 --> 00:47:11,041
I don't care, okay?

1182
00:47:11,709 --> 00:47:12,500
Okay, that's her.

1183
00:47:12,542 --> 00:47:13,647
I'm gonna go hide.

1184
00:47:15,057 --> 00:47:16,229
Okay, I got it.

1185
00:47:16,271 --> 00:47:17,062
No, it's great.

1186
00:47:17,104 --> 00:47:19,099
Hey David, I see you set the table, man.

1187
00:47:19,141 --> 00:47:21,948
I really appreciate you being
a part of this, all right?

1188
00:47:26,088 --> 00:47:27,439
Hi.

1189
00:47:27,481 --> 00:47:28,409
Hi, I'm Michaela.

1190
00:47:28,451 --> 00:47:29,802
Yeah, nice to meet you, I'm...

1191
00:47:29,844 --> 00:47:32,669
Sam, you look just like your pictures.

1192
00:47:32,711 --> 00:47:35,739
And you do too, I think.

1193
00:47:35,781 --> 00:47:37,309
Come on in.

1194
00:47:37,351 --> 00:47:39,909
Sorry, the house is a mess.

1195
00:47:39,951 --> 00:47:42,919
I'm sure my friend told you
that I don't get out much.

1196
00:47:42,961 --> 00:47:46,239
Oh honey, please, no
need to play timid with me.

1197
00:47:46,281 --> 00:47:49,049
I know it was you I was
talking with this whole time.

1198
00:47:49,091 --> 00:47:53,369
Yeah, that was me just
pretending to be my pretend friend.

1199
00:47:53,411 --> 00:47:57,454
So, where's the camera at?

1200
00:47:58,478 --> 00:47:59,789
Excuse me?

1201
00:47:59,831 --> 00:48:02,481
He said you were making
some kind of video project.

1202
00:48:03,591 --> 00:48:05,399
I don't follow.

1203
00:48:05,441 --> 00:48:07,199
Is he hiding in the bathroom?

1204
00:48:07,241 --> 00:48:08,624
Come on out, sweetie.

1205
00:48:11,360 --> 00:48:12,559
Am I doing it all right?

1206
00:48:12,601 --> 00:48:14,489
Yeah, more or less.

1207
00:48:14,531 --> 00:48:15,899
Michaela, this is David,

1208
00:48:15,941 --> 00:48:17,979
he's obviously made a
brilliant meal for you.

1209
00:48:18,021 --> 00:48:19,561
So why don't you just sit down, enjoy,

1210
00:48:19,603 --> 00:48:21,159
I'm gonna go back in the bathroom.

1211
00:48:21,201 --> 00:48:22,799
No, why don't you stay with us?

1212
00:48:22,841 --> 00:48:24,219
Film us like you said you would.

1213
00:48:24,261 --> 00:48:25,786
Yeah, I would, I would,

1214
00:48:25,828 --> 00:48:27,149
but the table's only set for two.

1215
00:48:27,191 --> 00:48:27,982
So, I think I might just...

1216
00:48:28,024 --> 00:48:29,559
You know what? That's perfect.

1217
00:48:29,601 --> 00:48:30,419
How about I go?

1218
00:48:30,461 --> 00:48:31,575
And then you two can sit and talk

1219
00:48:31,599 --> 00:48:32,484
about taking this video project

1220
00:48:32,526 --> 00:48:33,942
- in a new direction.
- Uh, uh, uh.

1221
00:48:33,984 --> 00:48:36,067
Get your hiney back here.

1222
00:48:37,181 --> 00:48:39,444
Well, boys, I'm gonna go freshen up.

1223
00:48:47,321 --> 00:48:48,249
She's a hooker.

1224
00:48:48,291 --> 00:48:49,291
She's not a hooker.

1225
00:48:49,324 --> 00:48:50,240
Porn?

1226
00:48:50,282 --> 00:48:52,447
No, she just really likes you.

1227
00:48:52,489 --> 00:48:53,629
Dude, that is bullshit.

1228
00:48:53,671 --> 00:48:54,516
You got her involved about this

1229
00:48:54,558 --> 00:48:55,659
and you gave her a script

1230
00:48:55,701 --> 00:48:57,549
and she's playing some
kind of weird character.

1231
00:48:57,591 --> 00:48:59,367
David, I promise you, that
is not what's happening.

1232
00:48:59,391 --> 00:49:00,182
I promise you.

1233
00:49:00,224 --> 00:49:01,340
Okay, well, if your plan
is for me to sleep with her,

1234
00:49:01,364 --> 00:49:02,155
I am not.

1235
00:49:02,197 --> 00:49:02,988
As soon as she comes out the bathroom,

1236
00:49:03,030 --> 00:49:04,487
I'm gonna get to the
bottom of whatever this is.

1237
00:49:04,511 --> 00:49:05,934
Okay, that's perfect.

1238
00:49:07,186 --> 00:49:09,069
'Cause this whole thing is about lies.

1239
00:49:09,111 --> 00:49:10,246
There's just one problem.

1240
00:49:10,288 --> 00:49:11,079
Yeah?

1241
00:49:11,121 --> 00:49:13,290
She just went into your bedroom.

1242
00:49:17,072 --> 00:49:19,219
You, motherfucker.

1243
00:49:19,261 --> 00:49:20,901
There is Craigslist hooker in my bedroom

1244
00:49:20,943 --> 00:49:21,849
and it's all your fault.

1245
00:49:21,891 --> 00:49:25,189
Hey, hey, she's a
Craigslist woman, okay?

1246
00:49:25,231 --> 00:49:27,399
Now, get in there and get her out,

1247
00:49:27,441 --> 00:49:28,817
or do whatever you have to do, okay?

1248
00:49:28,841 --> 00:49:32,129
Look, I'm not even gonna
make you film it, okay?

1249
00:49:32,171 --> 00:49:34,239
Good, yeah, 'cause I won't.

1250
00:49:34,281 --> 00:49:37,254
All right, but David, you should.

1251
00:49:39,680 --> 00:49:41,638
What is wrong with you?

1252
00:49:49,924 --> 00:49:52,939
All right, so, I told
her that he's really shy

1253
00:49:52,981 --> 00:49:54,681
and he's probably going to resist.

1254
00:49:55,901 --> 00:49:58,013
I spent a lot of money on this,
but to be honest with you,

1255
00:49:58,037 --> 00:49:59,937
I really think it's gonna be worth it.

1256
00:50:03,931 --> 00:50:06,099
Let's get started, here.

1257
00:50:11,371 --> 00:50:13,454
- Hey, Sam, what's up?
- Crystal, hey!

1258
00:50:13,496 --> 00:50:14,496
What's up?

1259
00:50:16,242 --> 00:50:18,026
What are you?

1260
00:50:18,068 --> 00:50:19,746
Is this part of the scene?

1261
00:50:19,788 --> 00:50:20,619
What?

1262
00:50:20,661 --> 00:50:23,149
You said we were gonna do
a scene, is this part of it?

1263
00:50:23,191 --> 00:50:24,129
Oh, no.

1264
00:50:24,171 --> 00:50:26,329
I'm so sorry, I meant we're
gonna do a scene tomorrow.

1265
00:50:26,371 --> 00:50:27,389
It's gonna be great.

1266
00:50:27,431 --> 00:50:28,705
- Okay.
- It will.

1267
00:50:28,747 --> 00:50:29,987
Where's David?

1268
00:50:30,029 --> 00:50:31,671
David's out, he went out.

1269
00:50:31,713 --> 00:50:32,889
Not on a date, I hope.

1270
00:50:32,931 --> 00:50:34,809
Why are you filming this?

1271
00:50:34,851 --> 00:50:36,160
No, I'm not filming.

1272
00:50:36,202 --> 00:50:38,011
Oh my God.

1273
00:50:38,053 --> 00:50:39,094
Okay, Crystal.

1274
00:50:43,461 --> 00:50:44,252
David, what?

1275
00:50:44,294 --> 00:50:47,356
Dude, I am so
sorry, you are so busted.

1276
00:50:52,332 --> 00:50:55,479
Cynthia, Cynthia, it's your line.

1277
00:50:55,521 --> 00:50:57,164
You can see she has shorts on.

1278
00:50:58,331 --> 00:50:59,809
Oh, okay.

1279
00:50:59,851 --> 00:51:00,907
Yup, everyone just hold up,

1280
00:51:00,931 --> 00:51:03,499
I'm gonna move the blanket a little bit.

1281
00:51:03,541 --> 00:51:05,569
There we go, everyone's set

1282
00:51:05,611 --> 00:51:08,490
and I'll just come back
to here real quick.

1283
00:51:08,532 --> 00:51:13,299
And dude, I am so sorry,
you are so busted.

1284
00:51:13,341 --> 00:51:14,341
Shit.

1285
00:51:15,581 --> 00:51:19,209
No, David, you know what?

1286
00:51:19,251 --> 00:51:22,294
You want so busted?
I'll show you so busted.

1287
00:51:23,911 --> 00:51:25,369
I think I got the wrong sides.

1288
00:51:25,411 --> 00:51:26,349
Yeah, one second guys.

1289
00:51:26,391 --> 00:51:28,049
Hey, babe, what's going on?

1290
00:51:28,091 --> 00:51:28,889
We were in the middle of...

1291
00:51:28,931 --> 00:51:30,087
The middle of a scene, right?

1292
00:51:30,111 --> 00:51:31,915
So why aren't you filming?

1293
00:51:31,957 --> 00:51:33,479
Yeah.

1294
00:51:33,521 --> 00:51:36,369
I want you to film this.

1295
00:51:36,411 --> 00:51:37,964
It'll be behind the scenes.

1296
00:51:39,841 --> 00:51:40,844
Seriously.

1297
00:51:43,031 --> 00:51:45,309
Okay, I'm filming.

1298
00:51:45,351 --> 00:51:46,142
Okay, what's your problem?

1299
00:51:46,184 --> 00:51:47,129
You don't like this scene?

1300
00:51:47,171 --> 00:51:48,878
Maybe you don't like
seeing Amanda in bed with...

1301
00:51:48,902 --> 00:51:50,309
David, actually, I had a question.

1302
00:51:50,351 --> 00:51:52,319
Why is my character going through this

1303
00:51:52,361 --> 00:51:53,469
if he's not filming it?

1304
00:51:53,511 --> 00:51:55,819
Well, 'cause she's a cheating
slut and who gives a shit?

1305
00:51:55,861 --> 00:51:57,624
Oh, I'm the cheating slut?

1306
00:52:01,355 --> 00:52:03,939
I meant your character, okay?

1307
00:52:03,981 --> 00:52:05,989
But you know, when you bring it up,

1308
00:52:06,031 --> 00:52:07,779
did you two fuck the other night?

1309
00:52:07,821 --> 00:52:09,069
David, come on.

1310
00:52:09,111 --> 00:52:11,749
No, hey, Josh, answer my question.

1311
00:52:11,791 --> 00:52:13,627
When you went off script,
closed the blinds on me,

1312
00:52:13,651 --> 00:52:14,651
did you fuck?

1313
00:52:15,981 --> 00:52:17,978
Hey guys, I'm gonna go.

1314
00:52:18,020 --> 00:52:19,859
If you could just call my agent.

1315
00:52:19,901 --> 00:52:21,279
Yeah, hey, Amanda,

1316
00:52:21,321 --> 00:52:22,637
thank you so much for everything.

1317
00:52:22,661 --> 00:52:23,452
You did great work tonight

1318
00:52:23,494 --> 00:52:25,099
and I am so sorry about all of this.

1319
00:52:25,141 --> 00:52:27,974
You got it, bye guys.

1320
00:52:29,118 --> 00:52:30,668
So did you, did you have sex?

1321
00:52:34,313 --> 00:52:35,904
Who's my character based on?

1322
00:52:36,951 --> 00:52:38,559
This is not about
your character, okay?

1323
00:52:38,601 --> 00:52:39,839
This is about you, all right?

1324
00:52:39,881 --> 00:52:41,619
You and Josh, did you?

1325
00:52:41,661 --> 00:52:44,254
Why don't you tell me
about the real Crystal?

1326
00:52:45,531 --> 00:52:47,809
Wait, the real Crystal?

1327
00:52:47,851 --> 00:52:48,957
Is this like a character study?

1328
00:52:48,981 --> 00:52:51,629
You know, maybe it should
be a character study.

1329
00:52:51,671 --> 00:52:55,019
David, do you have any tape
of somebody demonstrating

1330
00:52:55,061 --> 00:52:55,899
the Crystal role?

1331
00:52:55,941 --> 00:52:57,779
Because she's pretty complicated

1332
00:52:57,821 --> 00:52:59,257
and it would be really helpful to me,

1333
00:52:59,281 --> 00:53:01,149
if I could just see
somebody demonstrate it,

1334
00:53:01,191 --> 00:53:03,659
like a life coaching session, maybe.

1335
00:53:03,701 --> 00:53:04,492
You bitch.

1336
00:53:04,534 --> 00:53:06,764
There it is.

1337
00:53:07,601 --> 00:53:08,392
Film this.

1338
00:53:08,434 --> 00:53:10,594
You're not gonna get out of
this like every other time.

1339
00:53:10,621 --> 00:53:11,621
It was just research.

1340
00:53:11,661 --> 00:53:12,514
Research?

1341
00:53:12,556 --> 00:53:13,399
Just like I said in the scene.

1342
00:53:13,441 --> 00:53:14,677
Literally like I said in the scene.

1343
00:53:14,701 --> 00:53:15,919
Sure, sure.

1344
00:53:15,961 --> 00:53:19,909
You fucked her, and then
you cast me to be her,

1345
00:53:19,951 --> 00:53:22,779
and then you named me after her.

1346
00:53:22,821 --> 00:53:25,449
And I'm guessing the only
reason we're still here

1347
00:53:25,491 --> 00:53:27,729
is because you actually
had to make a movie

1348
00:53:27,771 --> 00:53:29,906
to keep her strung along
after you fell for her.

1349
00:53:29,948 --> 00:53:34,399
Wait, just like the
scene with this Crystal?

1350
00:53:34,441 --> 00:53:35,879
Real ballsy, David.

1351
00:53:35,921 --> 00:53:37,424
Real fucking ballsy.

1352
00:53:38,631 --> 00:53:39,467
Thank you.

1353
00:53:39,509 --> 00:53:40,479
It's not a fucking compliment.

1354
00:53:40,521 --> 00:53:42,719
Oh God, I knew this was
way too close to home, dude.

1355
00:53:42,761 --> 00:53:44,109
This is way too close to home.

1356
00:53:44,151 --> 00:53:47,369
Hey, no, look, Josh,
this is not about me.

1357
00:53:47,411 --> 00:53:50,499
David, your main character
is named after you,

1358
00:53:50,541 --> 00:53:52,219
which I always thought was a little weird

1359
00:53:52,261 --> 00:53:53,789
and we're shooting it in your house

1360
00:53:53,831 --> 00:53:56,019
and apparently he does
the things that you do.

1361
00:53:56,061 --> 00:53:58,229
How is this not about you?

1362
00:53:58,271 --> 00:54:00,359
You are way more of an
asshole than I am, okay?

1363
00:54:00,401 --> 00:54:01,789
I told you this is just research.

1364
00:54:01,831 --> 00:54:02,622
That's all it is.

1365
00:54:02,664 --> 00:54:04,279
I'm more of an asshole than you?

1366
00:54:04,321 --> 00:54:05,739
Your character, you're me.

1367
00:54:05,781 --> 00:54:07,742
Your character, you're me.

1368
00:54:07,784 --> 00:54:09,584
That about covers it, yeah?

1369
00:54:11,371 --> 00:54:13,259
Look, this does not
get you out of the fact

1370
00:54:13,301 --> 00:54:15,134
of you two fucking, okay?

1371
00:54:16,001 --> 00:54:18,254
Did you, did you have sex?

1372
00:54:21,891 --> 00:54:23,674
Maybe it was just research.

1373
00:54:27,601 --> 00:54:30,216
Guys, I'm telling
the truth here, okay?

1374
00:54:30,258 --> 00:54:32,169
That's the funniest fucking thing

1375
00:54:32,211 --> 00:54:33,159
of this whole thing so far.

1376
00:54:33,201 --> 00:54:33,992
Look, look.

1377
00:54:34,034 --> 00:54:35,849
You know what?

1378
00:54:35,891 --> 00:54:36,689
So here's the truth.

1379
00:54:36,731 --> 00:54:37,648
Here's the truth for you,

1380
00:54:37,690 --> 00:54:39,597
'cause that's a great thing to
end the movie on, all right?

1381
00:54:39,621 --> 00:54:41,319
That's it. The end.

1382
00:54:41,361 --> 00:54:42,719
If you wanted to see some boobs,

1383
00:54:42,761 --> 00:54:44,347
you should've spent an hour watching porn

1384
00:54:44,371 --> 00:54:46,321
instead of watching this fucking movie.

1385
00:54:48,061 --> 00:54:50,109
Guys, come on, this isn't funny.

1386
00:54:50,151 --> 00:54:51,829
We're almost done here.

1387
00:54:51,871 --> 00:54:52,871
Guys!

1388
00:54:54,871 --> 00:54:56,474
Fuck me.

1389
00:55:04,791 --> 00:55:06,547
Hey, Josh, if you could
just give me a second

1390
00:55:06,571 --> 00:55:07,362
to explain this...

1391
00:55:07,404 --> 00:55:08,404
Forgot my shoes.

1392
00:55:15,741 --> 00:55:17,861
- Dude, we're almost done.
- I'll put them on outside.

1393
00:55:20,950 --> 00:55:21,950
Fuck.

1394
00:55:33,671 --> 00:55:34,462
David.

1395
00:55:34,504 --> 00:55:35,676
Oh, hey, Crystal.

1396
00:55:35,718 --> 00:55:36,925
- Hi
- It's very nice to meet you.

1397
00:55:36,949 --> 00:55:37,740
You too.

1398
00:55:37,782 --> 00:55:40,129
Hey, but before we sit
down, I wanna let you know,

1399
00:55:40,171 --> 00:55:41,827
I don't wanna seem like
a creep, or weirdo,

1400
00:55:41,851 --> 00:55:42,642
or a serial killer,

1401
00:55:42,684 --> 00:55:45,889
but the camera the camera
on the table, it is filming.

1402
00:55:45,931 --> 00:55:49,284
Okay. Is that for like,
quality control or something?

1403
00:55:49,326 --> 00:55:51,499
No, that's funny though.

1404
00:55:51,541 --> 00:55:52,541
I might use that.

1405
00:55:57,951 --> 00:56:00,339
Okay, since you're filming me,

1406
00:56:00,381 --> 00:56:02,031
I guess I'm gonna be filming you.

1407
00:56:03,297 --> 00:56:05,844
Oh yeah, that's great.

1408
00:56:07,551 --> 00:56:09,389
I know it's for security purposes,

1409
00:56:09,431 --> 00:56:12,369
but, I don't know.

1410
00:56:12,411 --> 00:56:13,202
How about this,

1411
00:56:13,244 --> 00:56:15,317
if I don't seem like as big
of a creep as you think I am,

1412
00:56:15,341 --> 00:56:17,041
can you just send me that footage?

1413
00:56:19,379 --> 00:56:20,379
One second.

1414
00:56:22,501 --> 00:56:23,804
It's an eye-line thing.

1415
00:56:26,686 --> 00:56:29,249
I'm sorry, what is this for?

1416
00:56:29,291 --> 00:56:31,589
So I'm doing a video project.

1417
00:56:31,631 --> 00:56:33,559
It's like a found footage
movie kind of thing.

1418
00:56:33,601 --> 00:56:37,309
Right, 'cause you did
say that you did film work,

1419
00:56:37,351 --> 00:56:38,351
but it's,

1420
00:56:41,358 --> 00:56:43,336
it's not like...

1421
00:56:43,378 --> 00:56:45,045
No, it's not porn.

1422
00:56:46,731 --> 00:56:48,111
No, it's not porn Okay.

1423
00:56:49,696 --> 00:56:50,539
And don't worry,

1424
00:56:50,581 --> 00:56:53,314
this won't even be in
the movie so you're okay.

1425
00:56:55,491 --> 00:56:56,764
So, what's it for?

1426
00:56:58,451 --> 00:57:00,237
I think the main character
is gonna film people,

1427
00:57:00,261 --> 00:57:02,969
so I kind of just wanna
figure out what works,

1428
00:57:03,011 --> 00:57:05,261
what doesn't, get the
kinks out a little bit.

1429
00:57:08,207 --> 00:57:12,211
So wouldn't telling me
sort of blow it a little bit?

1430
00:57:14,081 --> 00:57:16,769
Maybe he has to find creative ways

1431
00:57:16,811 --> 00:57:20,044
to let people know, you
know, and tell them.

1432
00:57:20,086 --> 00:57:21,086
Great.

1433
00:57:23,611 --> 00:57:24,887
The truth wouldn't work, right?

1434
00:57:24,929 --> 00:57:29,159
Because that would get boring, right?

1435
00:57:29,201 --> 00:57:31,789
You're kind of ruining
the movie.

1436
00:57:31,831 --> 00:57:33,456
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

1437
00:57:33,498 --> 00:57:35,664
No, it's okay. I'm impressed.

1438
00:57:37,791 --> 00:57:39,189
It's good.

1439
00:57:39,231 --> 00:57:41,589
Maybe I'll just do something else.

1440
00:57:41,631 --> 00:57:42,831
No, no, no. I'm sorry.

1441
00:57:44,741 --> 00:57:46,969
I don't wanna stop you
from doing your project.

1442
00:57:47,011 --> 00:57:48,239
I think it's interesting.

1443
00:57:48,281 --> 00:57:50,194
So I think you should film it.

1444
00:57:51,191 --> 00:57:53,604
Yeah. I don't know. I think it's silly.

1445
00:57:56,131 --> 00:57:58,669
What do you say, we just get a drink?

1446
00:57:58,711 --> 00:57:59,692
Yes.

1447
00:57:59,734 --> 00:58:02,151
- Okay.
- Yes, okay.

1448
00:58:04,466 --> 00:58:06,069
So yeah.

1449
00:58:06,111 --> 00:58:07,599
I added the actual clip of Crystal

1450
00:58:07,641 --> 00:58:10,143
just to bolster some of the runtime.

1451
00:58:10,185 --> 00:58:12,489
It's still a fuckin' disaster.

1452
00:58:12,531 --> 00:58:13,499
Why?

1453
00:58:13,541 --> 00:58:15,769
Well, I'm an hour short on
my delivery requirements

1454
00:58:15,811 --> 00:58:18,504
and I'm out of pocket,
a shitload of expenses.

1455
00:58:19,829 --> 00:58:22,629
We should have actually
shot this on cellphones.

1456
00:58:24,061 --> 00:58:25,217
Plus, you know what's worse than that?

1457
00:58:25,241 --> 00:58:27,039
Digitally removing that girl's arm.

1458
00:58:27,081 --> 00:58:28,879
Plus the day rates of all the actresses,

1459
00:58:28,921 --> 00:58:31,149
because yes, they were all union.

1460
00:58:31,191 --> 00:58:33,204
Including my former girlfriend, Cynthia.

1461
00:58:34,051 --> 00:58:35,291
We met on set a few years back,

1462
00:58:35,321 --> 00:58:37,014
it was a fuckin' disaster.

1463
00:58:38,731 --> 00:58:41,319
So there's that money, plus
the nudity riders, right?

1464
00:58:41,361 --> 00:58:42,949
Because yes, you're welcome.

1465
00:58:42,991 --> 00:58:44,437
Even though we didn't
shoot those sex scenes,

1466
00:58:44,461 --> 00:58:46,247
that would have really
filled some of the runtime,

1467
00:58:46,271 --> 00:58:47,899
I did shoot all those topless scenes.

1468
00:58:47,941 --> 00:58:50,429
So, if that's why you stuck around,

1469
00:58:50,471 --> 00:58:51,429
I'd tell you to fast forward,

1470
00:58:51,471 --> 00:58:53,394
but you're almost there anyway.

1471
00:58:54,971 --> 00:58:56,379
Just give me one second,

1472
00:58:56,421 --> 00:58:58,356
and let me tell you what happened, okay?

1473
00:58:58,398 --> 00:59:01,614
I was cheating on Crystal
was Cynthia and...

1474
00:59:01,656 --> 00:59:02,789
Oh, fuck.

1475
00:59:02,831 --> 00:59:05,419
I can't even get their
names straight anymore.

1476
00:59:05,461 --> 00:59:07,619
I was cheating on Cynthia, right?

1477
00:59:07,661 --> 00:59:09,569
And I wasn't happy with our little

1478
00:59:09,611 --> 00:59:12,889
fairytale lifestyle-bubble that it was,

1479
00:59:12,931 --> 00:59:14,019
it's all bullshit.

1480
00:59:14,061 --> 00:59:16,369
And I wanted to make
a film that said that.

1481
00:59:16,411 --> 00:59:19,639
I wanted to say how we
all had to lie to be happy

1482
00:59:19,681 --> 00:59:21,114
because that is true.

1483
00:59:22,531 --> 00:59:25,744
And I wasn't filming most of
these dates at the beginning.

1484
00:59:28,371 --> 00:59:30,034
Okay, yeah, I tried.

1485
00:59:33,671 --> 00:59:36,114
Fuck it, watch this.

1486
00:59:39,126 --> 00:59:40,126
Hi, I'm David.

1487
00:59:41,021 --> 00:59:42,339
It's good to meet you.

1488
00:59:42,381 --> 00:59:43,759
What is this?

1489
00:59:43,801 --> 00:59:44,909
Well, I know it's weird,

1490
00:59:44,951 --> 00:59:47,989
but I thought maybe if I recorded this,

1491
00:59:48,031 --> 00:59:50,639
it might make it a sweet memoriam

1492
00:59:50,681 --> 00:59:52,509
- kind of thing?
- Yeah, no, it's weird.

1493
00:59:52,551 --> 00:59:53,827
Yeah, no it's
standard procedure,

1494
00:59:53,851 --> 00:59:56,059
we do this with all
our social experiments.

1495
00:59:56,101 --> 00:59:57,879
Social experiment?

1496
00:59:57,921 --> 00:59:58,869
Okay, what? What do you want

1497
00:59:58,911 --> 01:00:00,109
- me to say?
- Excuse me, sir?

1498
01:00:00,151 --> 01:00:00,942
Yeah?

1499
01:00:00,984 --> 01:00:01,779
You can't film here without

1500
01:00:01,821 --> 01:00:02,957
the owner's permission, I checked.

1501
01:00:02,981 --> 01:00:04,099
Liz, I can explain.

1502
01:00:04,141 --> 01:00:07,084
Liz, if you could just
give me one second.

1503
01:00:08,311 --> 01:00:10,844
Wait, one second, Jenna!

1504
01:00:13,241 --> 01:00:14,439
Until I met Crystal,

1505
01:00:14,481 --> 01:00:17,439
which is where I came up
with the whole movie idea.

1506
01:00:17,481 --> 01:00:19,939
Which I know you saw, yeah
we put it in the movie,

1507
01:00:19,981 --> 01:00:22,522
which was obviously a big mistake.

1508
01:00:22,564 --> 01:00:25,364
That's what you get for
trying to be honest in art.

1509
01:00:27,261 --> 01:00:28,261
It's ironic.

1510
01:00:31,551 --> 01:00:32,881
I haven't seen her in ages

1511
01:00:34,055 --> 01:00:35,414
'cause I got involved with this movie

1512
01:00:35,438 --> 01:00:37,538
that I was making just to keep her around.

1513
01:00:38,981 --> 01:00:41,989
You wanna know what happened
to David and Crystal

1514
01:00:42,031 --> 01:00:43,117
after she caught him with a girl?

1515
01:00:43,141 --> 01:00:44,391
Do you really wanna know?

1516
01:00:51,806 --> 01:00:52,806
All right.

1517
01:01:09,151 --> 01:01:10,467
They were gonna see separate people,

1518
01:01:10,491 --> 01:01:13,109
they were gonna go separate
ways and do separate things.

1519
01:01:13,151 --> 01:01:14,769
And I was going to film it all

1520
01:01:14,811 --> 01:01:15,992
as their friend Sam,

1521
01:01:16,034 --> 01:01:20,209
just to get both sides of the
gender viewpoint, or whatever.

1522
01:01:20,251 --> 01:01:21,079
Right?

1523
01:01:21,121 --> 01:01:22,757
And then they were gonna meet again online

1524
01:01:22,781 --> 01:01:24,289
and it was gonna be beautiful

1525
01:01:24,331 --> 01:01:26,087
and we wouldn't have really
known what happened to them,

1526
01:01:26,111 --> 01:01:28,379
but it was gonna be very
cool and existential

1527
01:01:28,421 --> 01:01:29,894
and Cynthia fucked it up.

1528
01:01:31,961 --> 01:01:34,009
And now, I guess I really
am a movie producer.

1529
01:01:34,051 --> 01:01:37,804
I fucked up a movie and
I got to see some boobs.

1530
01:01:38,651 --> 01:01:41,689
Well, without further ado, I
guess you've earned it guys.

1531
01:01:41,731 --> 01:01:42,731
Here we go.

1532
01:01:44,861 --> 01:01:45,861
Hang on.

1533
01:01:47,281 --> 01:01:50,290
Oh shit, it's Crystal.

1534
01:01:50,332 --> 01:01:51,332
Hang on.

1535
01:01:53,112 --> 01:01:54,619
Hey, I was just thinking about you.

1536
01:01:54,661 --> 01:01:56,839
Why am I on speaker phone?

1537
01:01:56,881 --> 01:02:00,679
David, I swear, if you're
recording this right now,

1538
01:02:00,721 --> 01:02:01,512
I'm gonna be...

1539
01:02:01,554 --> 01:02:04,679
I'm not recording it, so
you can chill out, okay?

1540
01:02:04,721 --> 01:02:05,747
Thought I
was Crystal, didn't you?

1541
01:02:05,771 --> 01:02:06,771
No.

1542
01:02:08,161 --> 01:02:10,489
Okay, well,
I just called to tell you

1543
01:02:10,531 --> 01:02:13,649
that if you're still planning
to cut together a movie

1544
01:02:13,691 --> 01:02:15,619
that you better delete all of my footage

1545
01:02:15,661 --> 01:02:16,937
because you do not have permission

1546
01:02:16,961 --> 01:02:18,629
- to use that.
- Okay, Cynthia.

1547
01:02:18,671 --> 01:02:20,369
I will, all right?

1548
01:02:20,411 --> 01:02:23,329
And just so you know, it
wasn't very good anyway, okay?

1549
01:02:23,371 --> 01:02:24,737
I was planning on re-shooting everything

1550
01:02:24,761 --> 01:02:26,009
with another actress.

1551
01:02:26,051 --> 01:02:26,926
Excuse me?

1552
01:02:26,968 --> 01:02:29,729
It wasn't very good?

1553
01:02:29,771 --> 01:02:32,309
My character was supposed
to be a bad actress.

1554
01:02:32,351 --> 01:02:34,079
Yeah, the character
was supposed to be bad

1555
01:02:34,121 --> 01:02:35,359
when she was acting, okay?

1556
01:02:35,401 --> 01:02:37,279
You were bad all the time.

1557
01:02:37,321 --> 01:02:38,704
I mean, every time.

1558
01:02:39,747 --> 01:02:41,579
Oh, fuck you, David.

1559
01:02:41,621 --> 01:02:43,989
Hey, fuck you, Crystal.

1560
01:02:44,031 --> 01:02:46,554
I mean, Cynthia, whoops.

1561
01:02:49,571 --> 01:02:50,794
I did that on purpose.

1562
01:02:52,181 --> 01:02:53,439
I changed her name in my phone

1563
01:02:53,481 --> 01:02:56,089
so when she called, it
would say, "Crystal,"

1564
01:02:56,131 --> 01:02:57,331
you know, for the movie.

1565
01:02:58,371 --> 01:02:59,371
Oops.

1566
01:03:13,092 --> 01:03:14,092
Okay, fuck.

1567
01:03:19,372 --> 01:03:20,163
Hey.

1568
01:03:20,205 --> 01:03:22,254
Really?

1569
01:03:23,731 --> 01:03:24,731
Really?

1570
01:03:27,854 --> 01:03:28,880
Oh, yeah.

1571
01:03:28,922 --> 01:03:32,399
Yeah I know I said the movie's over,

1572
01:03:32,441 --> 01:03:35,579
'cause it is, but I
figured maybe I can bolster

1573
01:03:35,621 --> 01:03:38,199
some of the runtime with you.

1574
01:03:38,241 --> 01:03:40,654
Oh, so now I do get to be in it?

1575
01:03:42,000 --> 01:03:43,609
I thought maybe it would

1576
01:03:43,651 --> 01:03:45,151
give the movie a happy ending,

1577
01:03:46,161 --> 01:03:50,304
just in case if things work
out, at least between us.

1578
01:03:50,346 --> 01:03:52,849
Things work out between us?

1579
01:03:52,891 --> 01:03:54,789
I'm sorry, what happened to the girlfriend

1580
01:03:54,831 --> 01:03:56,909
that you were cheating on?

1581
01:03:56,951 --> 01:03:59,640
She left me for an actor.

1582
01:03:59,682 --> 01:04:02,234
Well, that's predictable.

1583
01:04:03,431 --> 01:04:07,369
Yeah, I didn't see it coming.

1584
01:04:07,411 --> 01:04:09,439
But she's out of the picture.

1585
01:04:09,481 --> 01:04:10,527
Literally, out of the picture,

1586
01:04:10,551 --> 01:04:11,999
the picture being the movie.

1587
01:04:12,041 --> 01:04:13,124
No, yeah, I got it.

1588
01:04:17,001 --> 01:04:18,001
So,

1589
01:04:20,041 --> 01:04:21,041
can I see it?

1590
01:04:23,651 --> 01:04:25,749
The movie? Can I see the movie?

1591
01:04:25,791 --> 01:04:29,704
Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure.

1592
01:04:36,111 --> 01:04:37,407
They were gonna see separate people

1593
01:04:37,431 --> 01:04:40,059
they were gonna go separate
ways and do separate things.

1594
01:04:40,101 --> 01:04:43,059
And I was gonna film it
all, as their friend Sam,

1595
01:04:43,101 --> 01:04:47,129
just to get both sides of the
gender viewpoint, or whatever.

1596
01:04:47,171 --> 01:04:48,009
Right?

1597
01:04:48,051 --> 01:04:49,687
And then they were gonna meet again online

1598
01:04:49,711 --> 01:04:51,199
and it was gonna be beautiful

1599
01:04:51,241 --> 01:04:52,794
and we wouldn't have really
known what happened to them,

1600
01:04:52,818 --> 01:04:55,299
but it was gonna be very
cool and existential

1601
01:04:55,341 --> 01:04:56,794
and Cynthia fucked it up.

1602
01:04:58,891 --> 01:05:01,669
And now, I guess I really
am a movie producer.

1603
01:05:01,711 --> 01:05:04,584
I fucked up a movie and
I got to see some boobs.

1604
01:05:11,552 --> 01:05:12,635
Okay. Okay.

1605
01:05:17,461 --> 01:05:19,149
I have questions.

1606
01:05:19,191 --> 01:05:19,982
Okay.

1607
01:05:20,024 --> 01:05:21,269
And comments.

1608
01:05:21,311 --> 01:05:23,284
Okay, that's great.

1609
01:05:25,671 --> 01:05:26,969
Actually, that's really great.

1610
01:05:27,011 --> 01:05:28,714
Would you mind if we filmed them?

1611
01:05:31,401 --> 01:05:33,244
Okay, perfect.

1612
01:05:41,011 --> 01:05:42,011
Okay, go ahead.

1613
01:05:47,021 --> 01:05:51,259
Okay, one, it's confusing.

1614
01:05:51,301 --> 01:05:52,869
- No it's not.
- As shit.

1615
01:05:52,911 --> 01:05:54,177
It's not confusing if you just...

1616
01:05:54,201 --> 01:05:55,112
No, yeah it is.

1617
01:05:55,154 --> 01:05:57,559
I mean, your explanation
of everything that happened

1618
01:05:57,601 --> 01:05:59,654
is just, it makes no sense.

1619
01:06:01,101 --> 01:06:02,551
I think you should refilm it.

1620
01:06:05,551 --> 01:06:07,069
Okay.

1621
01:06:07,111 --> 01:06:08,019
Okay, I will.

1622
01:06:08,061 --> 01:06:09,061
Good.

1623
01:06:10,441 --> 01:06:15,441
And two, is that your
girlfriend playing me?

1624
01:06:15,641 --> 01:06:16,779
She's my ex-girlfriend,

1625
01:06:16,821 --> 01:06:18,606
and I know it sounds
up fucked up but it's...

1626
01:06:18,648 --> 01:06:20,429
No, yeah it's fucked up.

1627
01:06:20,471 --> 01:06:22,669
And why does the character
of me get to be in the movie

1628
01:06:22,711 --> 01:06:23,839
when she ask?

1629
01:06:23,881 --> 01:06:26,249
Well, I mean, you never really asked.

1630
01:06:26,291 --> 01:06:27,879
Yes, I did.

1631
01:06:27,921 --> 01:06:30,071
Well you're here now,
so, you're welcome.

1632
01:06:31,621 --> 01:06:34,239
I mean, thank you, right?

1633
01:06:34,281 --> 01:06:37,009
For being here, I really do appreciate it.

1634
01:06:37,051 --> 01:06:38,294
Yeah, no worries.

1635
01:06:40,461 --> 01:06:42,244
Okay, so, what are you gonna do now?

1636
01:06:44,001 --> 01:06:45,464
I don't really know.

1637
01:06:45,506 --> 01:06:46,879
I don't know.

1638
01:06:46,921 --> 01:06:49,084
I think we both know
what you want to do.

1639
01:06:50,201 --> 01:06:51,748
Yeah?

1640
01:06:51,790 --> 01:06:52,790
Yeah.

1641
01:06:54,231 --> 01:06:56,192
Oh, no. Are you kidding me?

1642
01:06:56,234 --> 01:06:58,289
No, but that's what
this has all been about.

1643
01:06:58,331 --> 01:07:02,089
Crystal, it's about fixing
this lie that I told you.

1644
01:07:02,131 --> 01:07:02,959
I wanna make it real.

1645
01:07:03,001 --> 01:07:04,729
That's what this is.

1646
01:07:04,771 --> 01:07:05,889
If that's the real reason,

1647
01:07:05,931 --> 01:07:07,114
then it's still a lie.

1648
01:07:09,401 --> 01:07:12,134
I don't think that that
is the real reason.

1649
01:07:14,551 --> 01:07:16,939
I wanna make the movie, yeah.

1650
01:07:16,981 --> 01:07:18,699
For its own sake?

1651
01:07:18,741 --> 01:07:20,279
Yes.

1652
01:07:20,321 --> 01:07:21,112
Okay.

1653
01:07:21,154 --> 01:07:23,429
And for its own sake,
it needs an ending.

1654
01:07:23,471 --> 01:07:24,262
Right, okay,

1655
01:07:24,304 --> 01:07:27,555
so I think we both then
know, what you have to do.

1656
01:07:27,597 --> 01:07:28,597
We do?

1657
01:07:29,271 --> 01:07:30,271
Yeah, of course.

1658
01:07:36,961 --> 01:07:40,369
No, no, I'm not going
back to Josh and Cynthia.

1659
01:07:40,411 --> 01:07:41,202
Stop looking at me like that,

1660
01:07:41,244 --> 01:07:42,749
I'm not doing it.

1661
01:07:42,791 --> 01:07:44,531
I won't do it. I'm not doing it.

1662
01:07:53,851 --> 01:07:57,620
Cynthia, I'm glad to see you.

1663
01:07:57,662 --> 01:07:58,779
Are you filming me?

1664
01:07:58,821 --> 01:07:59,649
Yeah.

1665
01:07:59,691 --> 01:08:00,649
Why?

1666
01:08:00,691 --> 01:08:02,344
For the film, obviously.

1667
01:08:02,386 --> 01:08:04,053
Come on in.

1668
01:08:05,301 --> 01:08:06,948
Y'all knew I was coming over?

1669
01:08:06,990 --> 01:08:09,289
Obviously.

1670
01:08:11,631 --> 01:08:14,599
All right,
well, how? How'd you know?

1671
01:08:14,641 --> 01:08:15,891
Crystal told us.

1672
01:08:16,991 --> 01:08:18,843
Crystal? Like
the Crystal, Crystal?

1673
01:08:18,885 --> 01:08:21,904
No, my fictional
character, Crystal told us.

1674
01:08:23,300 --> 01:08:24,374
Come and have a seat.

1675
01:08:26,333 --> 01:08:29,004
Why don't you tell
us, David, why are you here?

1676
01:08:32,411 --> 01:08:33,761
I have a better question.

1677
01:08:34,631 --> 01:08:35,919
Why are you here?

1678
01:08:35,961 --> 01:08:37,629
I just told you, Crystal told us that

1679
01:08:37,671 --> 01:08:39,184
- you were gonna be coming.
- Are you two fucking now?

1680
01:08:39,208 --> 01:08:40,699
Is that what this is?

1681
01:08:40,741 --> 01:08:44,239
Yes, right now at this very second,

1682
01:08:44,281 --> 01:08:45,679
we are fucking.

1683
01:08:45,721 --> 01:08:46,969
His dick is so long,

1684
01:08:47,011 --> 01:08:48,709
it snakes down his pant leg

1685
01:08:48,751 --> 01:08:51,317
around this table a couple
of times and then up mine

1686
01:08:51,359 --> 01:08:52,199
- to fuck me.
- Wow.

1687
01:08:52,241 --> 01:08:54,249
That's incredible. That's great.

1688
01:08:54,291 --> 01:08:56,011
You know, we should put
that into the movie,

1689
01:08:56,051 --> 01:08:58,369
- Josh.
- No, no.

1690
01:08:58,411 --> 01:09:00,792
Of course we're not putting
it at the end of the movie

1691
01:09:00,834 --> 01:09:02,929
you fucking idiot.

1692
01:09:02,971 --> 01:09:04,219
Okay.

1693
01:09:04,261 --> 01:09:05,261
No, I'm sorry.

1694
01:09:05,291 --> 01:09:06,619
I am sorry.

1695
01:09:06,661 --> 01:09:07,661
Okay?

1696
01:09:09,071 --> 01:09:11,099
I wanna finish the movie.

1697
01:09:11,141 --> 01:09:12,141
That's it.

1698
01:09:12,831 --> 01:09:14,889
And it's not to prove that I was right,

1699
01:09:14,931 --> 01:09:17,919
or to get with Crystal,
or to ruin any weird thing

1700
01:09:17,961 --> 01:09:19,609
that you two have going on.

1701
01:09:19,651 --> 01:09:21,109
Okay? It's not even for the money.

1702
01:09:21,151 --> 01:09:22,369
I promise.

1703
01:09:22,411 --> 01:09:24,561
It's 'cause I wanna
finish what we started.

1704
01:09:25,491 --> 01:09:28,554
Will you help me do that, please?

1705
01:09:30,351 --> 01:09:33,481
We've been doing some thinking
and we agree that it sucks

1706
01:09:34,471 --> 01:09:36,014
that it's only halfway done.

1707
01:09:37,091 --> 01:09:38,310
It's less than halfway, but if...

1708
01:09:38,334 --> 01:09:40,214
We do have some terms.

1709
01:09:41,558 --> 01:09:44,849
Okay, yeah, what? Anything.

1710
01:09:44,891 --> 01:09:46,829
We get to rewrite the ending.

1711
01:09:46,871 --> 01:09:49,819
It can't be this confusing existential,

1712
01:09:49,861 --> 01:09:51,944
meta-mess that you were gonna make it.

1713
01:09:56,141 --> 01:09:57,141
Okay.

1714
01:10:00,701 --> 01:10:03,309
But it can't be this mushy movie crap

1715
01:10:03,351 --> 01:10:04,557
where everyone learns a lesson at the end.

1716
01:10:04,581 --> 01:10:06,409
Is that okay, please? Is that a deal?

1717
01:10:06,451 --> 01:10:07,984
I think that's fine.

1718
01:10:08,961 --> 01:10:10,409
We get final cut.

1719
01:10:10,451 --> 01:10:14,619
Ah, I can't give you
final cut, no, I can't.

1720
01:10:14,661 --> 01:10:16,319
Non-negotiable.

1721
01:10:16,361 --> 01:10:18,554
We do our edit as we see fit.

1722
01:10:31,708 --> 01:10:34,576
Okay. But you have to
meet the runtime, okay?

1723
01:10:34,618 --> 01:10:36,009
And it has to feel seamless,

1724
01:10:36,051 --> 01:10:38,370
it has to be all one continuous piece.

1725
01:10:39,435 --> 01:10:41,564
Is that okay? Does that make sense?

1726
01:10:41,606 --> 01:10:43,819
- Yes.
- Yeah, look,

1727
01:10:43,861 --> 01:10:46,859
if you get, shit, what's her name?

1728
01:10:46,901 --> 01:10:48,269
Amanda?

1729
01:10:48,311 --> 01:10:50,449
You get Amanda back,
we'll take care of the rest.

1730
01:10:50,491 --> 01:10:51,491
Fuck.

1731
01:10:52,861 --> 01:10:54,459
Fuck?

1732
01:10:54,501 --> 01:10:55,501
Why fuck?

1733
01:10:56,231 --> 01:10:57,022
He tried to fuck her.

1734
01:10:57,064 --> 01:10:58,424
You tried to fuck her, didn't you?

1735
01:10:58,451 --> 01:11:01,159
Okay, she has a sister that acts,

1736
01:11:01,201 --> 01:11:02,259
maybe she'll do it.

1737
01:11:02,301 --> 01:11:04,579
It, the movie or it, your dick?

1738
01:11:04,621 --> 01:11:06,371
The movie, Cynthia, don't be...

1739
01:11:08,811 --> 01:11:11,614
Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

1740
01:11:13,051 --> 01:11:14,189
One more favor.

1741
01:11:14,231 --> 01:11:16,189
And this is it,

1742
01:11:16,231 --> 01:11:17,249
please, all this stuff,

1743
01:11:17,291 --> 01:11:19,149
all these clips of us breaking character

1744
01:11:19,191 --> 01:11:21,619
and going off-script and book or whatever,

1745
01:11:21,661 --> 01:11:23,087
let's just Jettison that stuff, okay?

1746
01:11:23,111 --> 01:11:25,209
We can't use any of that stuff.

1747
01:11:25,251 --> 01:11:26,771
Gladly.

1748
01:11:26,813 --> 01:11:27,719
Okay?

1749
01:11:27,761 --> 01:11:29,054
- Okay.
- Yeah.

1750
01:11:30,411 --> 01:11:31,411
Awesome.

1751
01:11:32,741 --> 01:11:34,079
Okay, what's next?

1752
01:11:34,121 --> 01:11:36,114
Well, we have some writing to do.

1753
01:11:37,411 --> 01:11:38,999
Okay, good.

1754
01:11:39,041 --> 01:11:40,474
All right, let's get started.

1755
01:11:41,981 --> 01:11:42,981
We.

1756
01:11:46,843 --> 01:11:47,843
Okay.

1757
01:11:50,578 --> 01:11:52,229
But if you need anything or...

1758
01:11:52,271 --> 01:11:54,024
Go, David.

1759
01:12:19,221 --> 01:12:20,012
What?

1760
01:12:20,054 --> 01:12:22,569
You said we were gonna do
a scene, is this part of it?

1761
01:12:22,611 --> 01:12:23,732
Oh, no, I'm so sorry.

1762
01:12:23,774 --> 01:12:25,779
I meant we're gonna do a scene tomorrow.

1763
01:12:25,821 --> 01:12:26,899
It's gonna be great.

1764
01:12:26,941 --> 01:12:27,732
- Okay.
- It will.

1765
01:12:27,774 --> 01:12:29,259
Where's David?

1766
01:12:29,301 --> 01:12:30,909
David's out, he went out.

1767
01:12:30,951 --> 01:12:32,319
Not on a date, I hope.

1768
01:12:32,361 --> 01:12:34,219
Why are you filming this?

1769
01:12:34,261 --> 01:12:35,555
No, I'm not, I'm not filming.

1770
01:12:35,597 --> 01:12:36,597
Oh my God.

1771
01:12:37,651 --> 01:12:38,732
Okay, Crystal.

1772
01:12:40,561 --> 01:12:41,969
David, what the hell?

1773
01:12:42,011 --> 01:12:44,209
Oh, man, I am so sorry.

1774
01:12:44,251 --> 01:12:45,439
You are so busted.

1775
01:12:45,481 --> 01:12:49,379
Shit, Crystal. This is
not what it looks like.

1776
01:12:49,421 --> 01:12:51,702
It never is with you, is it?

1777
01:12:51,744 --> 01:12:54,199
It looks like
you broke your promise.

1778
01:12:54,241 --> 01:12:56,009
Oh, it looks like you set me up.

1779
01:12:56,051 --> 01:12:58,879
Hey, no, I didn't
put your dick in her, man.

1780
01:12:58,921 --> 01:13:00,099
Neither did I.

1781
01:13:00,141 --> 01:13:02,099
It certainly looks like you did.

1782
01:13:02,141 --> 01:13:03,741
No, we still got our pants on.

1783
01:13:05,561 --> 01:13:06,561
See.

1784
01:13:08,491 --> 01:13:10,654
Then why are you lying on top of her?

1785
01:13:12,002 --> 01:13:13,774
You see, I was actually paid to,

1786
01:13:15,201 --> 01:13:17,099
we had to trick Sam into thinking.

1787
01:13:17,141 --> 01:13:18,991
Michaela, you lying slut.

1788
01:13:21,011 --> 01:13:22,139
How could you?

1789
01:13:22,181 --> 01:13:23,669
It's for the movie.

1790
01:13:23,711 --> 01:13:25,989
We were just looking at
lies and how people...

1791
01:13:26,031 --> 01:13:28,769
Yeah, and you're certainly
an expert, aren't you?

1792
01:13:28,811 --> 01:13:29,874
I need to think.

1793
01:13:31,171 --> 01:13:32,171
No, wait, Crystal.

1794
01:13:34,451 --> 01:13:36,928
Wait, Crystal, I love you.

1795
01:13:37,881 --> 01:13:38,881
I'm sorry.

1796
01:13:39,791 --> 01:13:42,965
I know David, that's
why I need to think.

1797
01:13:43,007 --> 01:13:44,449
What do you
even need to think about?

1798
01:13:44,491 --> 01:13:46,659
Well, to be honest, I lied too.

1799
01:13:46,701 --> 01:13:47,879
Yeah, obviously.

1800
01:13:47,921 --> 01:13:49,121
Sam, stay out of this.

1801
01:13:50,471 --> 01:13:51,471
Crystal.

1802
01:13:52,261 --> 01:13:54,739
Look, I didn't come
over here to do a scene

1803
01:13:54,781 --> 01:13:58,269
and I didn't actually
want to be in this movie.

1804
01:13:58,311 --> 01:14:00,609
I wanted to see how far you would go.

1805
01:14:00,651 --> 01:14:02,189
I wanted to see what you were doing

1806
01:14:02,231 --> 01:14:03,889
and whether or not it was illegal.

1807
01:14:03,931 --> 01:14:04,759
Oh no, no.

1808
01:14:04,801 --> 01:14:05,719
I was worried about that too,

1809
01:14:05,761 --> 01:14:07,037
but then Sam pointed out that...

1810
01:14:07,061 --> 01:14:09,399
Actually it is.

1811
01:14:09,441 --> 01:14:10,677
Wait, what the fuck do you know

1812
01:14:10,701 --> 01:14:11,977
about the legalities of any of this?

1813
01:14:12,001 --> 01:14:13,239
Guys, trust me.

1814
01:14:13,281 --> 01:14:16,139
Trust me, we're doing
nothing illegal here, okay?

1815
01:14:16,181 --> 01:14:18,069
Now you, I think you're on camera claims.

1816
01:14:18,111 --> 01:14:19,759
Or have to be some kind of contract,

1817
01:14:19,801 --> 01:14:21,101
so that's all good, right?

1818
01:14:22,671 --> 01:14:24,929
I'm sort of an expert.

1819
01:14:24,971 --> 01:14:25,839
What's that?

1820
01:14:25,881 --> 01:14:28,519
A person who
knows a lot about a subject.

1821
01:14:28,561 --> 01:14:30,097
All right, Michaela,
what are you talking about?

1822
01:14:30,121 --> 01:14:32,252
You see, in my line of work,

1823
01:14:32,294 --> 01:14:35,319
it's really important
to know the difference

1824
01:14:35,361 --> 01:14:38,769
between what is and isn't illegal.

1825
01:14:38,811 --> 01:14:40,699
Like, how the presence of a camera changes

1826
01:14:40,741 --> 01:14:43,876
illegal prostitution
into legal pornography.

1827
01:14:43,918 --> 01:14:44,709
That's literally the opposite

1828
01:14:44,751 --> 01:14:46,174
of what we're doing here.

1829
01:14:47,011 --> 01:14:49,179
Yeah but, soliciting sex from people

1830
01:14:49,221 --> 01:14:53,259
for the purposes of
personal financial gain.

1831
01:14:53,301 --> 01:14:54,309
Okay, all right.

1832
01:14:54,351 --> 01:14:57,169
How is that any different
than a woman going on a date

1833
01:14:57,211 --> 01:14:58,069
with a rich guy?

1834
01:14:58,111 --> 01:14:59,629
Come on, David, back me up here.

1835
01:14:59,671 --> 01:15:03,169
Crystal, I swear I
had no idea any of this

1836
01:15:03,211 --> 01:15:04,002
was gonna happen.

1837
01:15:04,044 --> 01:15:07,009
I only went into this to help
point out the problem of lies,

1838
01:15:07,051 --> 01:15:10,344
from everyone to everyone.

1839
01:15:12,014 --> 01:15:13,359
What are you doing, Sam?

1840
01:15:13,401 --> 01:15:14,951
I'm looking up the law, okay?

1841
01:15:16,411 --> 01:15:18,609
Well, I'm gonna go.

1842
01:15:18,651 --> 01:15:20,301
I've got clients who are waiting.

1843
01:15:25,076 --> 01:15:26,499
Call me if you need to talk.

1844
01:15:26,541 --> 01:15:27,641
Thank you.

1845
01:15:30,336 --> 01:15:33,731
Crystal, please say something.

1846
01:15:33,773 --> 01:15:36,547
No, I don't think I will.

1847
01:15:40,661 --> 01:15:42,873
Okay, yeah, I think I
know what we're gonna do.

1848
01:15:42,915 --> 01:15:44,195
You need to get out of my house.

1849
01:15:44,221 --> 01:15:45,109
No, but listen, look, I just found...

1850
01:15:45,151 --> 01:15:47,149
Sam, I'm upset.

1851
01:15:47,191 --> 01:15:50,094
You lied to me, you fucked me over.

1852
01:15:53,461 --> 01:15:54,939
You know what?

1853
01:15:54,981 --> 01:15:55,984
It's my fault too.

1854
01:15:57,091 --> 01:15:59,814
I, David Bush,

1855
01:16:00,901 --> 01:16:01,901
am a liar.

1856
01:16:03,271 --> 01:16:04,062
Okay.

1857
01:16:04,104 --> 01:16:08,104
No, just marinate on that for a second.

1858
01:16:11,621 --> 01:16:13,659
Okay, but we
really do need to talk soon

1859
01:16:13,701 --> 01:16:15,197
because this thing's all
getting really messy.

1860
01:16:15,221 --> 01:16:16,771
We just gotta wrap it up, okay?

1861
01:16:18,261 --> 01:16:19,261
Oh, fuck.

1862
01:16:30,631 --> 01:16:32,689
I knew he'd asked me to come back.

1863
01:16:41,581 --> 01:16:44,644
David, I was surprised
you'd asked me to come by.

1864
01:16:46,941 --> 01:16:48,749
Guess you and Crystal didn't work out?

1865
01:16:48,791 --> 01:16:50,309
No, actually, everything's fine.

1866
01:16:50,351 --> 01:16:52,243
She's the one that told me to call you.

1867
01:16:52,285 --> 01:16:53,285
Come on in.

1868
01:16:55,831 --> 01:16:58,239
Last I heard she was
building a case against us.

1869
01:16:58,281 --> 01:17:00,139
Seemed a little suspicious.

1870
01:17:00,181 --> 01:17:02,644
Maybe like it's a trap.

1871
01:17:03,551 --> 01:17:04,801
Sam, that's ridiculous.

1872
01:17:05,761 --> 01:17:07,611
Dude, just admit that you're jealous.

1873
01:17:08,521 --> 01:17:09,312
Okay.

1874
01:17:09,354 --> 01:17:11,809
Yeah, maybe I am a little jealous.

1875
01:17:11,851 --> 01:17:15,907
This was all my idea, this essay of lies

1876
01:17:15,949 --> 01:17:18,399
and the only result is
that you found some truth.

1877
01:17:19,251 --> 01:17:21,459
So yeah, I am a little jealous.

1878
01:17:21,501 --> 01:17:22,601
And she's beautiful.

1879
01:17:25,101 --> 01:17:25,949
Yeah, okay.

1880
01:17:25,991 --> 01:17:27,169
She's beautiful, right?

1881
01:17:27,211 --> 01:17:28,454
She's beautiful, okay?

1882
01:17:30,931 --> 01:17:33,269
So you wanna figure out how
to end this movie or what?

1883
01:17:33,311 --> 01:17:37,229
Yeah, I think we can
wrap it up nice and neat.

1884
01:17:37,271 --> 01:17:40,189
Honestly, it's got a
pretty solid structure,

1885
01:17:40,231 --> 01:17:41,959
her trying to tear us apart

1886
01:17:42,001 --> 01:17:45,014
while I inadvertently
get to prove my feelings.

1887
01:17:46,201 --> 01:17:47,959
I think that makes a statement.

1888
01:17:48,001 --> 01:17:49,319
A statement how sometimes,

1889
01:17:49,361 --> 01:17:51,311
you have to lie in order to find truth.

1890
01:17:52,291 --> 01:17:53,707
Well, I'm scared of the
message that might send,

1891
01:17:53,731 --> 01:17:56,381
we don't want chicks to
think it's okay to lie to us.

1892
01:17:57,511 --> 01:17:59,929
But do you think it's
okay for guys to lie

1893
01:17:59,971 --> 01:18:01,214
in order to get chicks?

1894
01:18:02,231 --> 01:18:03,799
To find truth.

1895
01:18:03,841 --> 01:18:05,439
But that's not what they're after.

1896
01:18:05,481 --> 01:18:07,449
I mean, at least that's
not what I was after.

1897
01:18:07,491 --> 01:18:08,956
I was just calling attention to a...

1898
01:18:12,175 --> 01:18:13,195
Who's that gonna be?

1899
01:18:13,237 --> 01:18:14,149
It's crystal.

1900
01:18:14,191 --> 01:18:16,608
No, dude, it's not Crystal.

1901
01:18:20,811 --> 01:18:21,979
Can I help you?

1902
01:18:22,021 --> 01:18:22,959
I sure hope so.

1903
01:18:23,001 --> 01:18:24,309
Are you David Bush?

1904
01:18:24,351 --> 01:18:25,209
No.

1905
01:18:25,251 --> 01:18:26,974
I'm David, I'm David Bush.

1906
01:18:28,081 --> 01:18:30,899
Ah, so you must be Sam.

1907
01:18:30,941 --> 01:18:31,732
Yeah, Sam.

1908
01:18:31,774 --> 01:18:32,774
Good.

1909
01:18:37,191 --> 01:18:38,359
I'm Ruby Robinson.

1910
01:18:38,401 --> 01:18:40,359
I'm representing Crystal and the others

1911
01:18:40,401 --> 01:18:42,019
in a class action suit.

1912
01:18:42,061 --> 01:18:43,149
What?

1913
01:18:43,191 --> 01:18:46,099
Yes, but before we seek damages,

1914
01:18:46,141 --> 01:18:48,559
they'd like to discuss
an emotional settlement.

1915
01:18:48,601 --> 01:18:49,939
The fuck?

1916
01:18:49,981 --> 01:18:51,529
We should listen to them.

1917
01:18:51,571 --> 01:18:52,899
No we shouldn't.

1918
01:18:52,941 --> 01:18:54,609
Yes, you should.

1919
01:18:54,651 --> 01:18:56,339
Well, we won't.

1920
01:18:56,381 --> 01:18:57,381
We will.

1921
01:19:04,161 --> 01:19:05,161
Crystal,

1922
01:19:08,584 --> 01:19:11,649
I believe you have something
to say to these two men.

1923
01:19:11,691 --> 01:19:13,339
The women behind me all feel

1924
01:19:13,381 --> 01:19:15,429
that they have been wronged by you.

1925
01:19:15,471 --> 01:19:17,419
And they also realized that

1926
01:19:17,461 --> 01:19:19,389
the most invasive part of your deception

1927
01:19:19,431 --> 01:19:22,449
and the most painful part of your lie,

1928
01:19:22,491 --> 01:19:23,979
was exposing them.

1929
01:19:24,021 --> 01:19:26,899
And exposing their lies
and their deceptions.

1930
01:19:26,941 --> 01:19:29,696
So why are they the victims
and you the guilty party?

1931
01:19:29,738 --> 01:19:30,984
But, that's allegedly.

1932
01:19:31,026 --> 01:19:32,026
Dude.

1933
01:19:33,411 --> 01:19:34,729
Why?

1934
01:19:34,771 --> 01:19:37,449
Because society has given you power.

1935
01:19:37,491 --> 01:19:38,919
You're in a position of authority

1936
01:19:38,961 --> 01:19:40,161
that's been handed down to you

1937
01:19:40,201 --> 01:19:42,829
from a historically chauvinistic world.

1938
01:19:42,871 --> 01:19:45,020
You therefore have to use honesty

1939
01:19:45,062 --> 01:19:48,779
and understanding for those
who have been marginalized.

1940
01:19:48,821 --> 01:19:51,569
So you can help them,
rather than exploit them.

1941
01:19:51,611 --> 01:19:53,769
Hasn't sex given you power, though?

1942
01:19:53,811 --> 01:19:54,602
I mean, think about it.

1943
01:19:54,644 --> 01:19:56,789
You have something that men desire, right?

1944
01:19:56,831 --> 01:19:59,419
That you can use against us

1945
01:19:59,461 --> 01:20:01,489
for the people that
don't measure up, right?

1946
01:20:01,531 --> 01:20:03,079
So we feel marginalized.

1947
01:20:03,121 --> 01:20:05,274
Only to the extent that you allow it.

1948
01:20:06,111 --> 01:20:08,099
And if you try to claim that your urges

1949
01:20:08,141 --> 01:20:11,634
are somehow our fault, then
you're lying to yourself.

1950
01:20:13,991 --> 01:20:17,069
How do you answer?

1951
01:20:17,111 --> 01:20:18,134
Yeah, I disagree.

1952
01:20:19,091 --> 01:20:20,479
Mm-hmm.

1953
01:20:20,521 --> 01:20:23,429
And you.

1954
01:20:23,471 --> 01:20:24,471
Oh,

1955
01:20:25,971 --> 01:20:26,971
I'm a liar.

1956
01:20:28,701 --> 01:20:32,879
I lie because I'm scared of
how people will perceive me.

1957
01:20:32,921 --> 01:20:34,699
It's ironic, really.

1958
01:20:34,741 --> 01:20:38,059
I lie to say and tell myself
that I'm more masculine

1959
01:20:38,101 --> 01:20:40,139
in order to get the affection that I need

1960
01:20:40,181 --> 01:20:42,549
to tell myself that I'm masculine.

1961
01:20:42,591 --> 01:20:45,554
All these lies do is prevent
me from achieving happiness.

1962
01:20:47,481 --> 01:20:51,099
Crystal, I don't wanna lie anymore.

1963
01:20:51,141 --> 01:20:53,434
But at some extent, that I will.

1964
01:20:55,521 --> 01:20:56,521
Can you accept that?

1965
01:20:58,111 --> 01:21:00,229
David, I wish that
I could definitely say

1966
01:21:00,271 --> 01:21:02,499
that I tolerate no lies.

1967
01:21:02,541 --> 01:21:04,049
That isn't true.

1968
01:21:04,091 --> 01:21:06,094
To a certain extent, I expect them,

1969
01:21:07,001 --> 01:21:10,359
to a certain extent, I want them,

1970
01:21:10,401 --> 01:21:14,164
to a certain extent, I tell
them, can I accept them?

1971
01:21:16,241 --> 01:21:17,354
I can accept you.

1972
01:21:20,077 --> 01:21:21,227
And how do you plead?

1973
01:21:23,948 --> 01:21:26,578
You know what's funny? Is
I'm the most honest one here.

1974
01:21:26,620 --> 01:21:27,946
Oh?

1975
01:21:27,988 --> 01:21:30,959
Well, we'll see if a jury agrees.

1976
01:21:31,001 --> 01:21:33,114
Expect a summons soon.

1977
01:21:34,091 --> 01:21:36,241
Oh, we're not pressing charges.

1978
01:21:38,571 --> 01:21:39,571
Why not?

1979
01:21:40,431 --> 01:21:45,431
Forgiveness is another
desirable trait, like honesty.

1980
01:21:46,001 --> 01:21:50,379
Besides, when the movie comes
out, and amidst all the lies,

1981
01:21:50,421 --> 01:21:52,619
the truth about Sam will be revealed

1982
01:21:52,661 --> 01:21:53,589
and that'll be punishment enough.

1983
01:21:53,631 --> 01:21:55,303
You don't have the right to produce...

1984
01:21:55,345 --> 01:21:56,945
Don't talk to us about rights!

1985
01:21:58,291 --> 01:22:00,759
We actually, technically we do.

1986
01:22:00,801 --> 01:22:01,801
I mean, after all.

1987
01:22:02,621 --> 01:22:04,082
I directed this thing.

1988
01:22:04,124 --> 01:22:06,509
You can't do
that, man, you can't.

1989
01:22:06,551 --> 01:22:08,429
Are you sure
that you don't wanna sue?

1990
01:22:08,471 --> 01:22:10,549
Because you said...

1991
01:22:10,591 --> 01:22:11,920
You're just in
this for the money, right?

1992
01:22:11,944 --> 01:22:13,744
Just say you're in it for the money.

1993
01:22:14,581 --> 01:22:18,055
I can't afford to be, can you?

1994
01:22:32,516 --> 01:22:33,656
That's not the end.

1995
01:22:33,698 --> 01:22:35,769
All right, yeah, that's
the end of their edit,

1996
01:22:35,811 --> 01:22:38,844
which I was nice enough to give them,

1997
01:22:39,771 --> 01:22:40,829
true to my word.

1998
01:22:40,871 --> 01:22:42,659
And clearly, it needs
some type of epilogue.

1999
01:22:42,701 --> 01:22:44,209
I mean, what is this shit?

2000
01:22:44,251 --> 01:22:45,799
All right? No more plot stuff.

2001
01:22:45,841 --> 01:22:47,401
I need to show you those topless shots.

2002
01:22:47,431 --> 01:22:48,909
Like we've been promising, okay?

2003
01:22:48,951 --> 01:22:51,451
And clearly it's not gonna
work in this narrative.

2004
01:22:52,943 --> 01:22:56,259
Did all the women just go to
like a free the nipple rally?

2005
01:22:56,301 --> 01:22:59,214
No, the ending that we
put together is bullshit.

2006
01:23:00,171 --> 01:23:01,379
And it's fucked up.

2007
01:23:01,421 --> 01:23:04,189
And I need to give you
like, 30 second explanation

2008
01:23:04,231 --> 01:23:05,179
as to why. Okay?

2009
01:23:05,221 --> 01:23:08,069
So just bear with me for two seconds.

2010
01:23:08,111 --> 01:23:09,989
I did all this planning,
all this hard work

2011
01:23:10,031 --> 01:23:13,799
to figure out these camera
angles and what did we get us?

2012
01:23:13,841 --> 01:23:15,169
It's all fucked.

2013
01:23:15,211 --> 01:23:17,139
I mean, who was filming
most of those shots?

2014
01:23:17,181 --> 01:23:17,972
Right?

2015
01:23:18,014 --> 01:23:20,219
And then, oh my God,
Crystal is in the movie,

2016
01:23:20,261 --> 01:23:21,449
the real Crystal, I mean.

2017
01:23:21,491 --> 01:23:23,307
And I don't mean to be
offensive when I say this,

2018
01:23:23,331 --> 01:23:25,629
but she doesn't even
look like a lawyer, okay?

2019
01:23:25,671 --> 01:23:27,869
I don't mean that in a
sexist way, but it's true.

2020
01:23:27,911 --> 01:23:28,919
It's so stupid.

2021
01:23:28,961 --> 01:23:33,629
And how did she pull a whole
confrontation as a lawyer

2022
01:23:33,671 --> 01:23:34,947
with the defense and the plaintiff

2023
01:23:34,971 --> 01:23:35,762
in the middle of the street?

2024
01:23:35,804 --> 01:23:39,199
I mean, this isn't a
fucking medieval duel.

2025
01:23:39,241 --> 01:23:40,379
Okay? It's ridiculous.

2026
01:23:40,421 --> 01:23:42,469
And then everyone,
everyone but my character

2027
01:23:42,511 --> 01:23:45,349
has some kind of moral
message that they've learned.

2028
01:23:45,391 --> 01:23:48,229
So how does a movie that's
trying to be truthful

2029
01:23:48,271 --> 01:23:49,909
in the exposing of lies,

2030
01:23:49,951 --> 01:23:51,739
become a lie in itself?

2031
01:23:51,781 --> 01:23:55,299
That I can tell you,
my friend, that's easy.

2032
01:23:55,341 --> 01:23:56,909
Because it is easy.

2033
01:23:56,951 --> 01:24:01,219
It's easy to stomach a
happy lie than a sad truth.

2034
01:24:01,261 --> 01:24:04,959
Look at "Memento," "Shutter
Island," "Inception," right?

2035
01:24:05,001 --> 01:24:07,179
"Or Pretty Woman," yeah.

2036
01:24:07,221 --> 01:24:09,849
You think true love is
gonna trump prostitution?

2037
01:24:09,891 --> 01:24:11,019
Get the fuck outta here.

2038
01:24:11,061 --> 01:24:12,159
That's an easy sell.

2039
01:24:12,201 --> 01:24:13,439
That's a cop out.

2040
01:24:13,481 --> 01:24:14,689
Okay?

2041
01:24:14,731 --> 01:24:16,619
This is it.

2042
01:24:16,661 --> 01:24:17,459
You want an answer?

2043
01:24:17,501 --> 01:24:19,479
You want a moral to the story?

2044
01:24:19,521 --> 01:24:21,929
There are no lies. There is no truth.

2045
01:24:21,971 --> 01:24:23,339
It's all fucked, okay?

2046
01:24:23,381 --> 01:24:24,259
It's all gray.

2047
01:24:24,301 --> 01:24:25,936
It came around full circle.

2048
01:24:25,978 --> 01:24:28,489
And it also made no fucking sense.

2049
01:24:28,531 --> 01:24:29,329
So that's it.

2050
01:24:29,371 --> 01:24:31,339
That's it, the movie's over, the end.

2051
01:24:31,381 --> 01:24:33,134
That is not the end.

2052
01:24:34,251 --> 01:24:35,929
How did you guys get in here?

2053
01:24:35,971 --> 01:24:38,539
You gave my character
the keys, remember?

2054
01:24:38,581 --> 01:24:39,929
That doesn't make sense.

2055
01:24:39,971 --> 01:24:41,147
You know what doesn't make sense?

2056
01:24:41,171 --> 01:24:43,019
You promising to give us the final edit,

2057
01:24:43,061 --> 01:24:45,239
yet here you are modifying the ending.

2058
01:24:45,281 --> 01:24:46,072
No, this isn't the end.

2059
01:24:46,114 --> 01:24:48,639
This is a post-script.

2060
01:24:48,681 --> 01:24:50,224
Certainly not in the script.

2061
01:24:51,821 --> 01:24:52,871
That's very clever.

2062
01:24:54,331 --> 01:24:56,189
Unlike that smear message thing

2063
01:24:56,231 --> 01:24:59,268
that you guys added, you and
Crystal, to make me look bad.

2064
01:24:59,310 --> 01:25:01,689
I can't
help it that your privilege

2065
01:25:01,731 --> 01:25:03,839
prevents you from being
able to understand it.

2066
01:25:03,881 --> 01:25:05,129
Hey, listen, okay...

2067
01:25:05,171 --> 01:25:06,359
Hey, what privilege?

2068
01:25:06,401 --> 01:25:07,551
I mean, I understand.

2069
01:25:08,671 --> 01:25:10,199
Hmm.

2070
01:25:10,241 --> 01:25:13,939
Look, I don't like people
to think I'm a liar, okay?

2071
01:25:13,981 --> 01:25:15,059
So this is what we'll do.

2072
01:25:15,101 --> 01:25:16,779
We'll sit everybody down, you, Crystal,

2073
01:25:16,821 --> 01:25:18,259
anyone else that wants to be there

2074
01:25:18,301 --> 01:25:20,189
and we'll watch the movie.

2075
01:25:20,231 --> 01:25:22,449
And we'll see if it's more
powerful with or without

2076
01:25:22,491 --> 01:25:23,491
the new ending.

2077
01:25:24,441 --> 01:25:25,441
Which one?

2078
01:25:26,108 --> 01:25:27,108
Exactly.

2079
01:25:38,511 --> 01:25:39,511
Is this on?

2080
01:25:44,061 --> 01:25:45,699
Okay, that's it.

2081
01:25:45,741 --> 01:25:47,359
We'll add some fake credits,

2082
01:25:47,401 --> 01:25:49,527
my friend, he's a composer, he
made this really great song.

2083
01:25:49,551 --> 01:25:51,444
It's not too fast, nice and soft.

2084
01:25:52,341 --> 01:25:54,460
It's gonna be great, I
just haven't had time

2085
01:25:54,502 --> 01:25:56,524
to put it in yet, so.

2086
01:25:59,531 --> 01:26:00,597
Well, Cynthia, I mean, you were right.

2087
01:26:00,621 --> 01:26:03,709
I did not understand what we just watched.

2088
01:26:03,751 --> 01:26:05,149
Nobody's gonna understand it.

2089
01:26:05,191 --> 01:26:07,249
It's too fucking meta to make any sense.

2090
01:26:07,291 --> 01:26:08,627
And the fact that it draws attention

2091
01:26:08,651 --> 01:26:09,704
to itself being meta,

2092
01:26:11,201 --> 01:26:13,399
that joke gets really
stale, except for like,

2093
01:26:13,441 --> 01:26:14,879
maybe in the last scene.

2094
01:26:14,921 --> 01:26:17,057
You actually need to cut
that last speech out, I think.

2095
01:26:17,081 --> 01:26:18,289
Jesus Christ, all right.

2096
01:26:18,331 --> 01:26:19,557
How the fuck do you
think you're gonna know

2097
01:26:19,581 --> 01:26:20,707
what an audience wants to hear?

2098
01:26:20,731 --> 01:26:22,077
You don't even know what you want.

2099
01:26:22,101 --> 01:26:23,529
We just want you to tell the truth.

2100
01:26:23,571 --> 01:26:25,966
Yes, like a few good men.

2101
01:26:26,008 --> 01:26:29,224
And cut out all of the cheesy
references from the film.

2102
01:26:30,491 --> 01:26:32,320
So that's what you
want? You want the truth?

2103
01:26:32,362 --> 01:26:33,249
Yeah.

2104
01:26:33,291 --> 01:26:34,199
All of you want the truth?

2105
01:26:34,241 --> 01:26:35,241
Yes.

2106
01:26:36,921 --> 01:26:38,509
Okay, you want the truth?

2107
01:26:38,551 --> 01:26:40,989
The truth is, if I cut out
all the lies in this movie,

2108
01:26:41,031 --> 01:26:42,031
there will be no movie.

2109
01:26:42,061 --> 01:26:42,852
How about that?

2110
01:26:42,894 --> 01:26:44,524
Great. No movie it is.

2111
01:26:47,401 --> 01:26:49,154
Okay, no movie.

2112
01:27:00,841 --> 01:27:02,742
David, how was that? Was that good?

2113
01:27:02,784 --> 01:27:05,849
That was great guys, you killed it.

2114
01:27:05,891 --> 01:27:06,836
Oh, thank you, man.

2115
01:27:06,878 --> 01:27:09,099
It's a solid fuckin' film.

2116
01:27:09,141 --> 01:27:11,629
Challenging, but easy to follow.

2117
01:27:11,671 --> 01:27:12,539
Well done.

2118
01:27:12,581 --> 01:27:14,369
Thank you.

2119
01:27:14,411 --> 01:27:16,832
Jesus, Claire, the
cameras are still rolling.

2120
01:27:16,874 --> 01:27:18,285
Oh, are they now.

2121
01:27:18,327 --> 01:27:19,118
Oh!

2122
01:27:19,160 --> 01:27:21,099
Does anybody
do that in real life?

2123
01:27:21,141 --> 01:27:23,489
Hey, what happened to the booby shots?

2124
01:27:23,531 --> 01:27:24,869
Are we still using those?

2125
01:27:24,911 --> 01:27:28,364
Wait, those were just for
the producer's cut, right?

2126
01:27:29,211 --> 01:27:30,229
No, no, they're in there.

2127
01:27:30,271 --> 01:27:32,167
I'll put them after a
placeholder for the credits.

2128
01:27:32,191 --> 01:27:33,164
Stop.

2129
01:27:33,206 --> 01:27:35,114
I just didn't
want it to be awkward

2130
01:27:35,156 --> 01:27:36,219
for everyone here.

2131
01:27:36,261 --> 01:27:39,904
Yeah, I see how this
could've been uncomfortable.

2132
01:27:40,831 --> 01:27:42,179
Guys, it's been great, seriously.

2133
01:27:42,221 --> 01:27:44,039
We have to run and go catch a show,

2134
01:27:44,081 --> 01:27:45,609
but it's been a lot of fun

2135
01:27:45,651 --> 01:27:47,419
and hopefully we can run into y'all again

2136
01:27:47,461 --> 01:27:48,637
when this makes it to theaters, you know,

2137
01:27:48,661 --> 01:27:50,546
do the red carpet treatment
and all that stuff.

2138
01:27:50,588 --> 01:27:51,813
Thank you so much, David

2139
01:27:51,855 --> 01:27:53,157
- I really appreciate it.
- Thanks guys, take care.

2140
01:27:53,181 --> 01:27:54,181
Bye.

2141
01:27:55,618 --> 01:27:56,409
Bad liar.

2142
01:27:56,451 --> 01:27:57,242
Let's go.

2143
01:27:57,284 --> 01:27:58,851
We'll walk you out.

2144
01:28:07,853 --> 01:28:08,853
And cut.

2145
01:28:46,358 --> 01:28:47,279
Okay, so what do I do?

2146
01:28:47,321 --> 01:28:49,229
I just show them?

2147
01:28:49,271 --> 01:28:50,419
Yeah, just take your robe off

2148
01:28:50,461 --> 01:28:51,252
and shake them around.

2149
01:28:51,294 --> 01:28:52,539
Do whatever you feel comfortable with.

2150
01:28:52,563 --> 01:28:53,354
Okay.

2151
01:28:53,396 --> 01:28:56,492
And robe off.

2152
01:28:56,534 --> 01:28:58,779
Mark it, take 9.

2153
01:28:58,821 --> 01:28:59,821
Mark.