1 00:04:29,704 --> 00:04:30,905 Oh, my God. 2 00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:31,872 Jesus. 3 00:04:57,630 --> 00:04:58,631 Fuck! 4 00:05:05,672 --> 00:05:08,508 I'm sorry. It was a false alarm. 5 00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:34,622 Her head was now clear, but to what avail? 6 00:07:34,654 --> 00:07:36,991 What good to awaken from a nightmare 7 00:07:37,024 --> 00:07:39,527 when the nightmare turned out to be real, 8 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:45,099 worse even than the nightmare that had tormented her sleep. 9 00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:46,534 Especially when there seemed to be 10 00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:49,270 no solution to the nightmare. 11 00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:51,372 At least no solution which didn't threaten 12 00:07:51,405 --> 00:07:54,041 the creation of even greater danger, 13 00:07:55,442 --> 00:07:58,678 havoc and fear without limit or end. 14 00:08:29,476 --> 00:08:31,979 Hi, Mom. 15 00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:33,614 Fine. 16 00:08:33,647 --> 00:08:35,883 I mean, yes, I'm okay. I'm... 17 00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:38,552 How are you? How's Grandpa? 18 00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:42,823 Oh, I see. 19 00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:45,993 I thought they were gonna start him on that new medication. 20 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:50,598 Yes, but if... 21 00:08:53,467 --> 00:08:55,970 I know, I understand. 22 00:08:56,003 --> 00:08:57,204 Okay. 23 00:08:57,238 --> 00:08:58,906 Okay, listen, I have to take care of something, 24 00:08:58,939 --> 00:09:01,775 but I should be back by 7:30 or 8:00. 25 00:09:01,809 --> 00:09:04,878 Would that be too late for you and Grandpa to come for dinner? 26 00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:08,682 Wonderful. 27 00:09:08,717 --> 00:09:11,085 No, I would love that. Great. 28 00:09:11,118 --> 00:09:14,121 Perfect. Okay, I'll see you... Let's say 8:30 to be safe. 29 00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:16,590 Love you. Okay, bye. 30 00:09:22,997 --> 00:09:23,764 Hello? 31 00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:25,532 It's Leon. 32 00:09:25,566 --> 00:09:27,835 You know, now's not a good time, Leon. 33 00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:29,970 I finished my thesis. 34 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:34,008 Hold on. 35 00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:39,947 Hey. 36 00:09:41,215 --> 00:09:42,182 Hi. 37 00:09:42,216 --> 00:09:44,151 - Hi. - Hi. 38 00:09:46,220 --> 00:09:47,788 What's goin' on? 39 00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:50,524 Nothing. 40 00:09:52,059 --> 00:09:53,060 Nothing? 41 00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:54,729 No. 42 00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:58,098 Well, maybe that's the problem. 43 00:09:58,132 --> 00:09:59,833 Maybe you just need to go back to work. 44 00:09:59,867 --> 00:10:01,468 Yeah, you know, when something worthwhile comes along, 45 00:10:01,502 --> 00:10:02,737 I think I will. 46 00:10:02,771 --> 00:10:04,204 I think that's probably a good idea. 47 00:10:04,238 --> 00:10:06,473 Okay. Look, I also think that all the time and energy 48 00:10:06,507 --> 00:10:08,108 I had to put into doing my thesis, 49 00:10:08,142 --> 00:10:11,812 it broke the rhythm of what we were just starting to establish 50 00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:14,982 in our relationship, and I... I take blame. 51 00:10:15,015 --> 00:10:16,350 Uh-huh. 52 00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:18,185 Don't you agree? 53 00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:21,388 What? 54 00:10:21,422 --> 00:10:22,724 Do you agree? 55 00:10:22,757 --> 00:10:24,124 I'm sorry. 56 00:10:24,158 --> 00:10:27,695 With what you just said, I wasn't concentrating. 57 00:10:28,896 --> 00:10:30,732 Would you like to hear some of my thesis? 58 00:10:30,765 --> 00:10:32,166 I still have time to make some tweaks, 59 00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:35,536 and I would love to get your spontaneous response. 60 00:10:35,569 --> 00:10:37,404 Well, my spontaneous response 61 00:10:37,438 --> 00:10:39,774 would be the same now as it was when you first brought it up, 62 00:10:39,808 --> 00:10:41,208 which is that if you're, you know, 63 00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:44,411 if you're gonna write a thesis on murder 64 00:10:44,445 --> 00:10:45,979 between Dostoyevsky and Dickens, 65 00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:48,750 then why not expand it to include Shakespeare and Marlowe 66 00:10:48,783 --> 00:10:50,250 and Webster and Turner and Poe and... 67 00:10:50,284 --> 00:10:51,585 Whoa, what? 68 00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:54,088 Well, that would be my spontaneous response. 69 00:10:54,121 --> 00:10:56,690 But why would I have already finished my thesis 70 00:10:56,725 --> 00:10:57,958 on Dickens and Dostoyevsky 71 00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,326 and have to hand it in next week, 72 00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:02,663 would you be suggesting a complete renovation? 73 00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:05,132 Well, no, I suggested it when you first brought it up to me. 74 00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:07,201 - No, you didn't. - Well, maybe you misunderstood 75 00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:09,470 or maybe I didn't articulate myself clearly enough, 76 00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:10,805 but I did. 77 00:11:10,839 --> 00:11:13,708 What you said... Actually, what you asked me was, 78 00:11:13,742 --> 00:11:15,476 "Why Dostoyevsky and Dickens? 79 00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:17,444 Why not Dostoyevsky and Shakespeare, 80 00:11:17,478 --> 00:11:19,046 or Dostoyevsky and Marlowe?" 81 00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:20,782 I really don't wanna argue about it, Leon, 82 00:11:20,815 --> 00:11:22,416 because I'm sure that your thesis is great. 83 00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:23,752 Okay, it's just a little weird 84 00:11:23,785 --> 00:11:25,586 that you would be suggesting this now... 85 00:11:25,619 --> 00:11:28,322 It's really... It's just not a good time for me. 86 00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:30,691 It's just weird that you would be bringing this up right now, 87 00:11:30,725 --> 00:11:32,226 at the last possible moment. 88 00:11:32,259 --> 00:11:33,728 I really don't wanna argue about your thesis, Leon! 89 00:11:33,762 --> 00:11:35,730 I'm sure it's great, okay? 90 00:11:35,764 --> 00:11:37,131 But this is not a good time. 91 00:11:37,164 --> 00:11:39,868 For me and for us and for this. 92 00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:42,369 It's just not a good time right now. 93 00:11:42,403 --> 00:11:46,273 Time? Wait. This doesn't make any sense. 94 00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:48,710 What are you talking about? What's going on? 95 00:11:48,743 --> 00:11:51,111 It's not you. 96 00:11:51,145 --> 00:11:53,013 It's me. 97 00:12:26,748 --> 00:12:28,382 In some of her dreams, 98 00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:30,317 the sense of reality was so overwhelming 99 00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:32,319 that she could hear her voice saying, 100 00:12:32,352 --> 00:12:34,621 "This is not a dream. 101 00:12:34,655 --> 00:12:38,525 You may have been thinking it's a dream, but it isn't. 102 00:12:38,559 --> 00:12:39,993 It's happening right now, 103 00:12:40,027 --> 00:12:43,832 and you will never awaken from it 104 00:12:43,865 --> 00:12:46,166 because you are already awake." 105 00:12:56,310 --> 00:12:57,344 Hello? 106 00:12:57,377 --> 00:12:59,213 Hey, Vera. It's Franklin. 107 00:12:59,246 --> 00:13:02,149 I'm on my way to the airport. Can I come up? 108 00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:05,486 Hold on. 109 00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:14,261 - Hi. - Hi, hi. 110 00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:16,630 Hope you don't mind my having come. 111 00:13:16,663 --> 00:13:19,968 No, I'm glad. I'm glad you came. You want some breakfast? 112 00:13:24,438 --> 00:13:26,774 So you're leaving now? 113 00:13:26,808 --> 00:13:29,042 I'm leaving now. I'll be, um, 114 00:13:29,076 --> 00:13:31,345 heading for the airport in 15, 20 minutes. 115 00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:35,717 I came because, to be honest, I was concerned about you. 116 00:13:35,750 --> 00:13:39,152 I detected in your voice... 117 00:13:40,254 --> 00:13:41,488 ...voices. 118 00:13:41,522 --> 00:13:45,158 You seemed kind of fractured, and I... You were... 119 00:13:45,192 --> 00:13:48,395 I just felt you didn't sound yourself, and I... 120 00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:51,231 Is everything okay? 121 00:13:52,734 --> 00:13:55,202 I don't know. Um... 122 00:13:56,537 --> 00:13:59,007 No, I think if I was really honest, that I was... 123 00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:03,510 You know, I just, like, feel very, uh, uneasy. 124 00:14:03,544 --> 00:14:06,046 You know what that half-empty bottle says to me? 125 00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:07,815 There's a void in your soul. 126 00:14:08,783 --> 00:14:10,384 A big gaping hole. 127 00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:14,288 I don't mean this to be in any way offensive 128 00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:15,957 or even too aggressive, 129 00:14:15,990 --> 00:14:18,358 but I've always assumed that you and I 130 00:14:18,392 --> 00:14:21,996 have never hidden anything from each other. 131 00:14:22,030 --> 00:14:23,430 But now I'm wondering. 132 00:14:23,463 --> 00:14:26,400 Have you been leading a secret life? 133 00:14:28,036 --> 00:14:30,404 Sexually, I mean. 134 00:14:30,437 --> 00:14:32,406 Because I was thinking maybe you have 135 00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:37,110 a whole separate lurid existence on the side 136 00:14:37,144 --> 00:14:40,848 about which nobody, myself included, 137 00:14:40,882 --> 00:14:43,450 has had a clue. 138 00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:45,419 And I mean that as a compliment. 139 00:14:45,452 --> 00:14:50,825 I've never known anyone who can make everything believable 140 00:14:50,858 --> 00:14:54,963 and about whom anything that was said 141 00:14:54,996 --> 00:14:57,331 would be believable. 142 00:14:57,364 --> 00:15:00,001 I think that may be why you're so effective 143 00:15:00,034 --> 00:15:02,837 in each role you play. 144 00:15:02,870 --> 00:15:08,175 You seem to be capable of anything. 145 00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:15,950 What about work? Do you have anything in mind? 146 00:15:15,984 --> 00:15:17,986 No. I mean, I'm trying to write 147 00:15:18,019 --> 00:15:21,823 and struggling a little bit with what that is, 148 00:15:21,856 --> 00:15:24,257 And workwise, you know, 149 00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:26,027 I'm supposed to be reading scripts, and I just... 150 00:15:26,060 --> 00:15:30,765 but I can't really feel inspired for some reason. 151 00:15:30,798 --> 00:15:35,168 I'm, like, hitting walls, and maybe that's part of it, 152 00:15:35,202 --> 00:15:38,006 that I haven't worked for a long time. 153 00:15:38,039 --> 00:15:41,541 You know what? I should write something for you, 154 00:15:41,575 --> 00:15:43,343 which we could do together. 155 00:15:43,377 --> 00:15:46,981 I guess, if there was something that was really exciting, 156 00:15:47,015 --> 00:15:50,250 then I would probably feel inspired, but... 157 00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:53,186 I haven't found that in... 158 00:15:54,756 --> 00:15:57,557 I think it's more just like a lack of focus or something. 159 00:15:57,591 --> 00:16:02,429 For some reason, everything is just, like... 160 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:08,168 like I can't sort of sit still or be with something or... 161 00:16:08,201 --> 00:16:11,238 You mentioned writing. What are you writing? 162 00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:14,307 Right now, it's just a... 163 00:16:14,341 --> 00:16:19,279 It's like a little jumbled, you know, collection of... 164 00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:21,415 Yeah, like a stream of consciousness, I guess. 165 00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:24,217 And sometimes it feels great, and sometimes it makes sense, 166 00:16:24,251 --> 00:16:27,989 and then other times, it's just like a mess, 167 00:16:28,022 --> 00:16:31,159 and, you know, it's... 168 00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:35,429 I feel like if there was a sense of, like, peace and balance, 169 00:16:35,462 --> 00:16:38,365 then I would be able to have a perspective on it 170 00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:41,869 that I can't seem to find. 171 00:16:41,903 --> 00:16:44,371 I'm just restless, you know? 172 00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:47,407 Are you writing in the first person or the third? 173 00:16:47,441 --> 00:16:49,110 Third right now. 174 00:16:49,143 --> 00:16:51,578 Fiction or nonfiction? 175 00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:53,280 I'm not sure. 176 00:16:53,313 --> 00:16:55,482 Sometimes it's hard to know where one ends 177 00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:58,152 and the other begins. 178 00:16:58,186 --> 00:17:00,888 You know about madness. You got your demons, too. 179 00:17:00,922 --> 00:17:03,191 I'm curious because when I write, 180 00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:06,626 I always feel I'm a medium 181 00:17:06,660 --> 00:17:10,098 and that I am, um... 182 00:17:10,131 --> 00:17:11,733 The voices are invading my brain, 183 00:17:11,766 --> 00:17:13,768 and I'm trying to shut a couple of them out 184 00:17:13,801 --> 00:17:15,069 and let one voice speak... 185 00:17:15,103 --> 00:17:16,269 Solid gold. 186 00:17:16,303 --> 00:17:17,604 ...because otherwise, I have 187 00:17:17,637 --> 00:17:19,673 three or four voices in my head all the time, 188 00:17:19,707 --> 00:17:22,509 which is why I'm this step away from snapping. 189 00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,244 We shared some beautiful moments right here, 190 00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:25,847 together in this room. 191 00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:27,347 You ever hear voices in your head? 192 00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,817 How many fucking hours of pleasure 193 00:17:29,851 --> 00:17:31,685 did I give you? 194 00:17:34,521 --> 00:17:36,490 No. 195 00:17:36,523 --> 00:17:37,825 Um... 196 00:17:37,859 --> 00:17:39,493 What are you saying? 197 00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:42,063 You're talking about, like, schizophrenia or something. 198 00:17:42,096 --> 00:17:44,598 It is. Well, you know, I've had bouts, 199 00:17:44,631 --> 00:17:48,870 and one of the reasons that I've always loved talking to you 200 00:17:48,903 --> 00:17:52,206 was that you seem to be a tremendously empathetic person, 201 00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:54,175 so I feel I'm being understood when I talk to you. 202 00:17:54,208 --> 00:17:57,111 I'm not trying to impose my own... 203 00:17:57,145 --> 00:18:02,315 psychological intricacies on you, but... 204 00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:06,020 This all sounds really abstract, and I... 205 00:18:06,053 --> 00:18:09,757 You know, and I appreciate you coming here and being concerned. 206 00:18:09,791 --> 00:18:12,459 I don't know that I need concern. I just... 207 00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:17,430 Like something just kind of blew up, and I have to... 208 00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:23,137 you know, figure out how to get out of whatever I'm feeling. 209 00:18:25,239 --> 00:18:29,210 Like a collision of ideas and frustration 210 00:18:29,243 --> 00:18:33,147 and like a turning point, kind of, in my life 211 00:18:33,181 --> 00:18:37,551 and dealing with family and relationships, 212 00:18:37,584 --> 00:18:41,555 and, you know, you've been there. 213 00:18:41,588 --> 00:18:43,390 What about the guy, Sal? 214 00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:45,059 Do you still have anything to do with... 215 00:18:45,092 --> 00:18:48,395 No. That's done. A long time ago. 216 00:18:48,428 --> 00:18:50,865 He's just a crazy person. 217 00:18:50,898 --> 00:18:52,332 And how about the new guy, 218 00:18:52,365 --> 00:18:54,836 the graduate student- slash-lecturer. 219 00:18:54,869 --> 00:18:58,072 Leon. Yeah. He... 220 00:18:58,105 --> 00:19:01,374 He's like killing time, I guess. 221 00:19:01,408 --> 00:19:03,211 I don't know. I don't know. 222 00:19:03,244 --> 00:19:06,247 It's not that headline. 223 00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:09,817 Do you feel or hope that there will be one person 224 00:19:09,851 --> 00:19:11,953 that comes into your life, and that's it? 225 00:19:11,986 --> 00:19:16,023 And you have a family, and that changes your life? 226 00:19:16,057 --> 00:19:18,092 Yeah, I... 227 00:19:20,127 --> 00:19:23,396 Yes, I guess so. 228 00:19:25,900 --> 00:19:28,435 Do you think much about death? 229 00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:31,839 Yes. 230 00:19:31,873 --> 00:19:36,777 Are you afraid of it? Are you ready to die? 231 00:19:36,811 --> 00:19:39,747 I don't think that I would be feeling this kind of unrest 232 00:19:39,780 --> 00:19:43,117 if I was ready to die, so... 233 00:19:43,150 --> 00:19:45,552 Have you thought at all... 234 00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:51,058 Has it crossed your mind about committing suicide? 235 00:19:59,166 --> 00:20:02,770 Do you feel rage at the core of your being? 236 00:20:05,039 --> 00:20:07,875 Uh, I don't know. 237 00:20:07,909 --> 00:20:09,643 I don't know. 238 00:20:09,676 --> 00:20:12,113 Do you feel rage? 239 00:20:12,146 --> 00:20:13,680 I feel that my rage 240 00:20:13,714 --> 00:20:15,983 is always so close to the surface that it takes... 241 00:20:16,017 --> 00:20:17,484 Why are you doing this to me? 242 00:20:17,517 --> 00:20:19,053 ...almost nothing to set it off. 243 00:20:19,086 --> 00:20:20,487 And then when I express it, 244 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:23,291 I feel as if it's taking possession of me 245 00:20:23,324 --> 00:20:24,859 in a way that I had no control over, 246 00:20:24,892 --> 00:20:27,929 - so I try to avoid letting it - SAL: I sold to a narc. 247 00:20:27,962 --> 00:20:30,031 break through the surface 'cause then it's too late. 248 00:20:30,064 --> 00:20:31,299 100,000 bail. 249 00:20:31,332 --> 00:20:33,533 You've never felt that? 250 00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:36,569 No. 251 00:20:36,603 --> 00:20:40,341 It's purgative in some ways for me. 252 00:20:40,374 --> 00:20:43,344 I actually sometimes am very glad that it happened. 253 00:20:43,377 --> 00:20:46,213 I'm saying it because I sense it a bit in you. 254 00:20:46,247 --> 00:20:50,517 I sense it at this point in you, and, uh... 255 00:20:50,550 --> 00:20:51,719 Just give me the money. 256 00:20:53,421 --> 00:20:56,757 I've made something of a mess of my life, 257 00:20:56,791 --> 00:21:01,594 and I've used my work to cover it up, 258 00:21:01,628 --> 00:21:04,932 and I've hoped that I haven't damaged too many people 259 00:21:04,966 --> 00:21:07,335 that I care about. 260 00:21:07,368 --> 00:21:09,569 I feel I've done the right thing for some, 261 00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:12,505 and I hope that they feel that way. 262 00:21:12,539 --> 00:21:17,945 I feel I've hurt people I loved, which is the greatest sin. 263 00:21:17,979 --> 00:21:19,479 I know that hasn't happened yet, 264 00:21:19,512 --> 00:21:21,614 or I hope it hasn't happened in your life, 265 00:21:21,648 --> 00:21:27,288 but it's the thing that bothers me the most as time goes by. 266 00:21:28,688 --> 00:21:29,924 That's... 267 00:21:29,957 --> 00:21:32,827 I'm sorry. I don't mean to be confessional here. 268 00:21:32,860 --> 00:21:36,764 I came actually to see if I could be of any service to you, 269 00:21:36,797 --> 00:21:40,801 and I feel as if I'm asking you to help me in some way 270 00:21:40,835 --> 00:21:43,536 'cause you're the only person, I feel, who understands me 271 00:21:43,570 --> 00:21:46,673 the way I understand myself. 272 00:21:48,209 --> 00:21:53,513 I really wish we could spend more time together because... 273 00:21:53,546 --> 00:21:56,117 I'm getting choked up here. 274 00:21:56,150 --> 00:21:58,618 I came here to... 275 00:21:58,651 --> 00:22:01,521 This is embarrassing. Came here to... 276 00:22:01,554 --> 00:22:03,024 You don't need to be embarrassed. 277 00:22:03,057 --> 00:22:04,859 Well, I'm sorry. 278 00:22:04,892 --> 00:22:08,095 I feel maybe it was a mistake for me to have come over, and... 279 00:22:08,129 --> 00:22:10,464 No. It's not that... It was not a mistake. 280 00:22:10,498 --> 00:22:13,234 It's just, like... 281 00:22:13,267 --> 00:22:15,870 You know, the point is... is that there... 282 00:22:15,903 --> 00:22:18,839 There's no, like, solution right now. 283 00:22:20,307 --> 00:22:22,143 Like, whatever it is that I'm supposed to be doing, 284 00:22:22,176 --> 00:22:25,645 I'm, like, doing it, you know? Like, I'm trying. 285 00:22:28,681 --> 00:22:32,552 And it's just like being, you know, a grownup, I guess. 286 00:22:35,222 --> 00:22:37,624 Or trying to be a grownup or something. 287 00:22:41,996 --> 00:22:46,467 But, like, it'll be all right, you know? 288 00:22:49,437 --> 00:22:52,339 I think you should worry about yourself 289 00:22:52,373 --> 00:22:55,376 maybe more than you are of me. 290 00:24:23,397 --> 00:24:24,465 Okay. 291 00:24:30,504 --> 00:24:32,339 Hey, what's up? 292 00:24:32,373 --> 00:24:34,241 You need some help with that? 293 00:24:34,275 --> 00:24:36,210 Oh, I'm all right. Thank you. 294 00:24:36,243 --> 00:24:37,444 Nah, nah. 295 00:24:37,478 --> 00:24:39,146 Honestly, it's... I got it. 296 00:24:39,180 --> 00:24:41,115 Trust me, it's our pleasure 297 00:24:41,148 --> 00:24:42,516 to help out a beautiful lady. 298 00:24:42,550 --> 00:24:43,651 No problem. 299 00:24:43,683 --> 00:24:45,186 Thank you so much. 300 00:24:45,219 --> 00:24:46,220 Damn! 301 00:24:46,253 --> 00:24:47,454 Thanks. 302 00:24:47,488 --> 00:24:49,156 This shit is heavy. 303 00:24:49,190 --> 00:24:50,157 What you got in here? 304 00:24:50,191 --> 00:24:51,992 Bars of gold or something? 305 00:24:52,026 --> 00:24:53,861 I wish. 306 00:24:57,298 --> 00:24:59,500 Thanks. I appreciate it. 307 00:24:59,533 --> 00:25:01,835 Your face looks pretty familiar. 308 00:25:01,869 --> 00:25:06,307 I think I have one of those faces. 309 00:25:06,340 --> 00:25:08,175 Appreciate it. Thank you. 310 00:25:08,209 --> 00:25:10,611 - Likewise. - Don't take the turns too fast. 311 00:25:10,644 --> 00:25:12,213 - Yeah, - You might tip over. 312 00:25:12,246 --> 00:25:13,380 Right. 313 00:25:14,248 --> 00:25:15,916 50 bucks. 314 00:26:10,971 --> 00:26:12,439 She didn't question her impulse 315 00:26:12,473 --> 00:26:15,142 to withdraw her call to the police. 316 00:26:15,175 --> 00:26:17,177 She would have been an immediate suspect, 317 00:26:17,211 --> 00:26:21,716 even if she had told the truth in precise detail. 318 00:26:21,750 --> 00:26:24,885 Of course she could have claimed innocence. 319 00:26:24,918 --> 00:26:26,687 She was simply trying to prevent herself 320 00:26:26,721 --> 00:26:31,091 from being murdered by someone in the grip of desperation. 321 00:26:31,125 --> 00:26:34,628 She had been a fraction of an inch from death, 322 00:26:34,662 --> 00:26:37,431 so naturally she had to entice and defend, 323 00:26:37,464 --> 00:26:39,933 to struggle and disarm. 324 00:26:39,967 --> 00:26:42,704 There was a moment when she had clearly wrested the gun 325 00:26:42,737 --> 00:26:44,438 from his loosened grip, 326 00:26:44,471 --> 00:26:47,474 a split-second when her brain had said, "I have it now," 327 00:26:47,508 --> 00:26:49,810 and then the gun had gone off. 328 00:26:49,843 --> 00:26:52,980 But it hadn't just gone off. 329 00:26:53,013 --> 00:26:55,115 It hadn't fired by itself. 330 00:26:55,149 --> 00:26:56,850 Somehow she had squeezed the trigger 331 00:26:56,884 --> 00:26:59,320 without ever actually willing to do so. 332 00:26:59,353 --> 00:27:01,689 It was as if she hadn't killed him. The gun had. 333 00:27:01,723 --> 00:27:03,590 And she had just happened to be holding it 334 00:27:03,624 --> 00:27:05,693 when it performed its deed. 335 00:27:05,727 --> 00:27:07,561 However absurdly self-exonerating 336 00:27:07,594 --> 00:27:08,797 those words may have sounded, 337 00:27:08,829 --> 00:27:10,964 she believed them to be true 338 00:27:10,998 --> 00:27:14,134 Besides, what else could she have done? 339 00:27:14,168 --> 00:27:16,937 Leap back and point the gun at his heart? 340 00:27:16,970 --> 00:27:18,939 Threaten to shoot him? Order him to leave? 341 00:27:18,972 --> 00:27:22,076 Was there any likelihood he would have obeyed? 342 00:27:22,109 --> 00:27:24,713 Or would he almost certainly have sprung at her, 343 00:27:24,746 --> 00:27:27,716 grabbed back the gun and shot her instead? 344 00:27:29,249 --> 00:27:33,053 In any case, the chance to change her mind was gone. 345 00:27:35,189 --> 00:27:37,792 She had driven past any red line of free will, 346 00:27:37,826 --> 00:27:39,893 both literally and figuratively. 347 00:27:42,363 --> 00:27:44,298 The die was cast. 348 00:30:12,412 --> 00:30:14,849 As she drove away, her body began to feel 349 00:30:14,883 --> 00:30:18,185 weightless with quiet exhilaration. 350 00:30:18,218 --> 00:30:21,054 Any trace of remorse, let alone guilt, 351 00:30:21,088 --> 00:30:23,290 which she had expected to seize her, 352 00:30:23,323 --> 00:30:25,526 vanished as quickly and as finally 353 00:30:25,559 --> 00:30:28,061 as the trunk she had rolled into the river. 354 00:30:29,931 --> 00:30:32,800 She felt she had taken the only path she could have followed 355 00:30:32,834 --> 00:30:34,234 and would take it again now 356 00:30:34,268 --> 00:30:37,972 if forced back into the same circumstance. 357 00:30:38,006 --> 00:30:41,009 It confirmed her deepest sense of morality, 358 00:30:41,041 --> 00:30:42,376 that general rules and laws 359 00:30:42,409 --> 00:30:44,278 which ignored nuance and exception 360 00:30:44,311 --> 00:30:48,883 were never to be trusted, let alone blindly followed. 361 00:30:48,917 --> 00:30:54,087 Each case presented its own open spaces for discovery. 362 00:30:54,121 --> 00:30:56,189 She had pronounced herself not guilty 363 00:30:56,223 --> 00:31:00,694 in the court of her own judge and jury. 364 00:31:00,728 --> 00:31:03,130 How relieved she was not to have subjected herself 365 00:31:03,163 --> 00:31:06,099 to the verdict of 12 strangers. 366 00:32:25,312 --> 00:32:27,247 Are you depressed? 367 00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:30,217 Yeah. 368 00:32:30,250 --> 00:32:32,352 And what do you do to shake it, 369 00:32:32,386 --> 00:32:35,923 or you just let it carry itself with you? 370 00:32:37,624 --> 00:32:42,130 I don't know. I mean, it depends on my moods. 371 00:32:42,162 --> 00:32:44,531 Sometimes I'm depressed, sometimes I'm not depressed. 372 00:32:44,564 --> 00:32:46,968 I'm not, like, boxable at the moment. 373 00:32:47,001 --> 00:32:48,468 I know you're trying. 374 00:32:48,502 --> 00:32:51,739 I can't, like, say that. I'm not definable. 375 00:32:51,773 --> 00:32:53,540 I'm depressed. I'm this. This is what I do. 376 00:32:53,573 --> 00:32:56,811 This is the unease around the answers 377 00:32:56,844 --> 00:32:58,512 to whatever you're asking. 378 00:32:58,545 --> 00:33:00,748 I don't know if I'm depressed. Sometimes I'm depressed. 379 00:33:00,782 --> 00:33:05,086 I'm human, you know? It's not exclusive to me to... 380 00:33:05,119 --> 00:33:07,155 And sometimes I'm fine, and sometimes I wanna talk, 381 00:33:07,187 --> 00:33:08,622 and sometimes I don't wanna talk. 382 00:33:08,655 --> 00:33:10,524 I just don't want to be fucking scrutinized 383 00:33:10,557 --> 00:33:12,559 and analyzed and asked. 384 00:33:12,592 --> 00:33:16,164 I just wanna go through it without being fucking watched. 385 00:33:16,196 --> 00:33:20,001 The way that you're just staring is frustrating to me. 386 00:33:37,651 --> 00:33:38,786 Hello? 387 00:33:38,820 --> 00:33:41,022 - Vera Lockman? - Yes? 388 00:33:41,055 --> 00:33:43,523 Detective McCutcheon, Narcotics. 389 00:33:44,826 --> 00:33:46,426 Yes? 390 00:33:46,460 --> 00:33:48,395 I'm here with my partner, Detective Sinclair. 391 00:33:48,428 --> 00:33:49,931 We'd like to ask you some questions 392 00:33:49,964 --> 00:33:52,967 about Salvatore Conforti. 393 00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:55,036 Yes? 394 00:33:55,069 --> 00:33:57,872 Do you mind if we come up? 395 00:33:57,905 --> 00:33:59,606 Just a second. 396 00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:07,782 Hi. 397 00:34:07,815 --> 00:34:08,783 Hi. 398 00:34:08,816 --> 00:34:10,184 - Vera Lockman. - Hi. 399 00:34:10,218 --> 00:34:12,252 Detective McCutcheon, NYPD. 400 00:34:12,285 --> 00:34:13,855 Do you mind if I come in? 401 00:34:13,888 --> 00:34:15,355 No, by all means. Have a seat. 402 00:34:15,388 --> 00:34:18,092 Can I get you a coffee or water or... 403 00:34:18,126 --> 00:34:20,762 Oh, coffee would be great. Thank you. 404 00:34:20,795 --> 00:34:24,766 - Where's your partner? - Uh... 405 00:34:24,799 --> 00:34:28,803 Detective Sinclair had a urgent personal emergency 406 00:34:28,836 --> 00:34:30,204 that he had to attend to. 407 00:34:30,238 --> 00:34:32,405 I hope it's nothing serious. 408 00:34:32,439 --> 00:34:35,308 Who knows? Bad things happen every five minutes, right? 409 00:34:35,342 --> 00:34:37,444 If bad things didn't happen, we wouldn't have a job. 410 00:34:37,477 --> 00:34:38,746 Right. 411 00:34:38,780 --> 00:34:41,381 This is a nice place you got. You live here alone? 412 00:34:41,414 --> 00:34:44,018 - Yes, I do. - Huh. 413 00:34:46,921 --> 00:34:48,122 Thank you. 414 00:34:52,994 --> 00:34:56,696 Do you mind signing something for me? 415 00:34:58,532 --> 00:34:59,699 Signing what? 416 00:34:59,734 --> 00:35:01,736 Oh! 417 00:35:01,769 --> 00:35:04,739 No. No, no. I have a 15-year-old daughter, 418 00:35:04,772 --> 00:35:07,407 and you can guess what she wants to be. 419 00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:08,675 An actress. 420 00:35:08,709 --> 00:35:11,311 And when I told her I was coming to see Vera Lockman, 421 00:35:11,344 --> 00:35:14,347 she, like, spit her drink all over the kitchen. 422 00:35:14,381 --> 00:35:17,285 Of course. Happy to. What's her name? 423 00:35:17,317 --> 00:35:19,586 Cristal, with an I. Cristal. 424 00:35:19,619 --> 00:35:22,056 This is to Cristal and Christina. 425 00:35:22,089 --> 00:35:23,124 - Okay. - Her friend. 426 00:35:23,157 --> 00:35:25,827 Cristal and Christina, yeah. 427 00:35:25,860 --> 00:35:27,128 Very kind of you. 428 00:35:27,161 --> 00:35:28,763 Pleasure. 429 00:35:33,067 --> 00:35:35,303 She's gonna freak out. Thank you. 430 00:35:35,335 --> 00:35:36,570 That's great. 431 00:35:41,608 --> 00:35:44,011 This boyfriend you have, Sal Conforti. 432 00:35:44,045 --> 00:35:46,080 - Had. - Had? 433 00:35:46,113 --> 00:35:48,515 Had. We split up a while ago now. 434 00:35:48,548 --> 00:35:52,720 Oh. When was the last time that you saw him? 435 00:35:53,955 --> 00:35:55,555 Yesterday. 436 00:35:55,589 --> 00:35:58,358 Hmm. What were the circumstances? 437 00:36:00,795 --> 00:36:04,564 He'd been arrested and was released on bail. 438 00:36:04,598 --> 00:36:09,636 He came asking for money. I said no, and he left. 439 00:36:09,669 --> 00:36:11,272 Just like that? 440 00:36:11,305 --> 00:36:13,406 No, he carried on for a little. 441 00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:14,709 Who the fuck are you, huh? 442 00:36:14,742 --> 00:36:16,443 - Please. - ...you know, but yes. 443 00:36:16,476 --> 00:36:19,146 - Did he threaten you? - No. 444 00:36:19,180 --> 00:36:20,614 Did he become physical with you? 445 00:36:20,647 --> 00:36:22,083 No. 446 00:36:22,116 --> 00:36:24,852 No slapping? No choking? 447 00:36:24,886 --> 00:36:26,087 No. 448 00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:27,989 - Nothing sexual? - No. 449 00:36:28,022 --> 00:36:30,725 I said nothing physical, no. 450 00:36:30,758 --> 00:36:33,194 This is strange. 451 00:36:33,227 --> 00:36:34,929 Why is it strange? 452 00:36:34,962 --> 00:36:36,596 Well, because on the tapes, 453 00:36:36,630 --> 00:36:39,200 he sounds like he's becoming physically aggressive with you. 454 00:36:39,233 --> 00:36:42,737 - What tapes? - The tapes of his phone calls. 455 00:36:42,770 --> 00:36:45,139 - You've been recording him? - Of course. 456 00:36:45,172 --> 00:36:46,340 For how long? 457 00:36:46,374 --> 00:36:48,209 That's confidential. 458 00:36:48,242 --> 00:36:50,378 - And I'm on them? - Of course you are. 459 00:36:50,410 --> 00:36:51,979 You have nothing to worry about. 460 00:36:52,013 --> 00:36:54,949 - They're not targeting you. - Why should they be? 461 00:36:54,982 --> 00:36:56,918 I'm not saying that they should be or they shouldn't be, 462 00:36:56,951 --> 00:36:59,320 but they're not. 463 00:36:59,353 --> 00:37:02,223 Do I need a lawyer? 464 00:37:02,256 --> 00:37:03,791 That depends. 465 00:37:03,824 --> 00:37:08,162 Now, when was the last time you saw him? 466 00:37:08,195 --> 00:37:11,098 Yesterday. 467 00:37:11,132 --> 00:37:13,566 Oh, you said that. Yeah, yesterday. 468 00:37:21,742 --> 00:37:25,578 Detective Sinclair, he trailed Conforti to this building, 469 00:37:25,612 --> 00:37:28,015 presumably to meet with you. 470 00:37:28,049 --> 00:37:30,818 Unfortunately, after he parked his car across the street, 471 00:37:30,851 --> 00:37:33,854 he was attacked by an urgent case of the runs, 472 00:37:33,888 --> 00:37:36,257 and after he'd solved that personal problem, 473 00:37:36,290 --> 00:37:40,294 and he came back to his surveillance post, 474 00:37:40,328 --> 00:37:41,896 Conforti was gone. 475 00:37:43,530 --> 00:37:48,269 Um, how long was he up here? 476 00:37:49,303 --> 00:37:51,671 Not long. Um... 477 00:37:51,706 --> 00:37:54,442 N-Not long. 478 00:37:54,474 --> 00:37:56,143 But he did leave. 479 00:37:56,177 --> 00:37:58,678 Of course he left. 480 00:38:00,881 --> 00:38:04,185 There's no chance that he's still up here right now? 481 00:38:04,218 --> 00:38:06,854 No, not at all. 482 00:38:06,887 --> 00:38:10,958 But feel free to look around, if you want to. 483 00:38:10,992 --> 00:38:12,326 I appreciate that 484 00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:15,463 because if he is still hiding up here, 485 00:38:15,495 --> 00:38:17,131 he's doing a hell of a job, right? 486 00:38:17,164 --> 00:38:18,598 Right. 487 00:38:18,631 --> 00:38:20,901 Well, if we find him, we'll let you know. 488 00:38:20,935 --> 00:38:23,871 And if you hear anything, you'll get in touch with us. 489 00:38:23,904 --> 00:38:25,572 - Absolutely. - Can I count on you for that? 490 00:38:25,605 --> 00:38:27,942 - Yes. - Okay. Thank you. 491 00:38:27,975 --> 00:38:30,311 - Okay. - Um... 492 00:38:30,344 --> 00:38:32,179 Anything else? 493 00:38:32,213 --> 00:38:35,383 Well, you forgot the autograph. 494 00:38:35,416 --> 00:38:38,518 Ah. 495 00:38:38,551 --> 00:38:40,821 You don't have a daughter, do you? 496 00:38:40,855 --> 00:38:46,227 And the detective with the runs, I take it that was you as well? 497 00:38:46,260 --> 00:38:49,397 No, I don't have a daughter. 498 00:38:49,430 --> 00:38:52,099 And there is no detective, period. 499 00:38:52,133 --> 00:38:55,703 There was nobody outside your apartment watching you. 500 00:38:57,604 --> 00:39:00,474 - You're very good. - Ha. 501 00:39:00,508 --> 00:39:02,209 If ever you decide to give up acting, 502 00:39:02,243 --> 00:39:04,644 you could be a police officer. 503 00:39:04,677 --> 00:39:07,481 Well, if you ever think about getting into acting, 504 00:39:07,515 --> 00:39:09,183 I would recommended it. 505 00:39:09,216 --> 00:39:10,718 Very convincing. 506 00:39:10,751 --> 00:39:14,855 Well, thank you for your cooperation. 507 00:39:14,889 --> 00:39:17,191 Anytime. 508 00:39:44,485 --> 00:39:46,387 Uh, one more thing. 509 00:39:46,420 --> 00:39:48,856 - I'm so sorry. - Oh. 510 00:39:48,889 --> 00:39:50,057 I'm sorry. 511 00:39:50,091 --> 00:39:51,926 It's just that when you called 911, 512 00:39:51,959 --> 00:39:53,961 and you asked for the police to come and then you hung up, 513 00:39:53,994 --> 00:39:57,731 and then when they called you back to find out what happened, 514 00:39:57,765 --> 00:39:59,867 you said it was an accident. 515 00:39:59,900 --> 00:40:02,602 Why did you do that? 516 00:40:04,972 --> 00:40:06,907 - The money. - Come here. 517 00:40:06,941 --> 00:40:07,875 Sweetie, you... 518 00:40:11,644 --> 00:40:14,748 Wow, you guys are everywhere. 519 00:40:16,784 --> 00:40:20,054 Well, if I were you, I would assume yes, we are... 520 00:40:20,087 --> 00:40:22,423 ...everywhere. 521 00:40:22,456 --> 00:40:25,559 So what's the answer? 522 00:40:28,762 --> 00:40:31,499 Why did you say it was an accident? 523 00:40:31,532 --> 00:40:33,666 This is gonna sound so absurd. 524 00:40:34,935 --> 00:40:39,840 I have been, like, super high-strung 525 00:40:39,874 --> 00:40:42,675 and really... 526 00:40:42,710 --> 00:40:47,214 really dealing with some serious anxiety. 527 00:40:47,248 --> 00:40:48,983 So within the context of that, 528 00:40:49,016 --> 00:40:51,452 picking up the phone and calling the police, 529 00:40:51,485 --> 00:40:53,454 it's not... 530 00:40:53,487 --> 00:40:56,590 Uh, what's the word I'm looking for? It's not... 531 00:40:57,825 --> 00:40:59,994 - Remarkable. Exactly. - Noteworthy. 532 00:41:00,027 --> 00:41:00,961 Either or both. 533 00:41:00,995 --> 00:41:03,797 It's an either-or. Yeah. 534 00:41:03,831 --> 00:41:07,401 Well, thank you for your cooperation. 535 00:41:32,393 --> 00:41:34,562 Do you feel lucky? 536 00:41:34,595 --> 00:41:39,033 Yes, incredibly. 537 00:41:39,066 --> 00:41:41,068 I do too. I feel... 538 00:41:41,101 --> 00:41:43,971 I feel, um, you know, 539 00:41:44,004 --> 00:41:48,475 that somehow I've gotten away with something my whole life. 540 00:41:48,509 --> 00:41:51,178 Do you feel you're getting away with something? 541 00:41:51,212 --> 00:41:54,148 I don't feel like I'm running from anything to get away from. 542 00:41:54,181 --> 00:41:58,085 I'm just, like, existing on a very... 543 00:41:58,118 --> 00:42:00,854 like, a surface level, but I can feel in my psyche 544 00:42:00,888 --> 00:42:03,457 that there's all sorts of unrest, 545 00:42:03,490 --> 00:42:06,627 and maybe this is... those are the questions I need to ask, 546 00:42:06,660 --> 00:42:09,530 that I... but I... but I... you know, 547 00:42:09,563 --> 00:42:12,800 I can't find any sort of answers, 548 00:42:12,833 --> 00:42:16,270 and so it's just, like, frustrating. 549 00:42:16,303 --> 00:42:19,106 I'm constantly frustrated, 550 00:42:19,139 --> 00:42:21,342 and I guess talking about it is helpful, you know, 551 00:42:21,375 --> 00:42:25,746 to sort of try to unravel whatever it is that's happening, 552 00:42:25,779 --> 00:42:29,083 but at the same time, it also, like, brings up anxiety 553 00:42:29,116 --> 00:42:32,086 because these are exactly the things that I can't, like, 554 00:42:32,119 --> 00:42:36,857 put a finger on or figure out or... 555 00:42:36,890 --> 00:42:39,059 So it's just like, right now, just talking about, 556 00:42:39,093 --> 00:42:40,995 it just, like, kicks it all up, you know? 557 00:42:41,028 --> 00:42:45,866 Maybe like I wanna run away or something. 558 00:42:45,899 --> 00:42:49,803 How is everything with your family? 559 00:42:49,837 --> 00:42:53,140 How are your mother and grandfather doing? 560 00:42:53,173 --> 00:42:57,478 She's all right, you know. He's not great. 561 00:42:57,511 --> 00:43:00,881 But mostly happy. 562 00:43:00,914 --> 00:43:05,152 I think she's worried about him, and... 563 00:43:05,185 --> 00:43:06,887 Yeah, I guess when that starts to happen, 564 00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:10,124 you're just sort of in a place where, you know, 565 00:43:10,157 --> 00:43:13,594 it's so unknown, and... 566 00:43:13,627 --> 00:43:15,896 Almost the fact that he's aware of it 567 00:43:15,929 --> 00:43:20,501 is worse than, you know, where it'll end up, 568 00:43:20,534 --> 00:43:22,569 but, um... 569 00:43:22,603 --> 00:43:25,673 Right now, you know, he's frustrated, 570 00:43:25,707 --> 00:43:28,642 and I guess that's hard, harder. 571 00:43:46,427 --> 00:43:48,195 Who owns this restaurant? 572 00:43:48,228 --> 00:43:52,533 It's not a restaurant, Pops. This is my apartment. 573 00:43:54,635 --> 00:43:55,770 Who are you, darling? 574 00:43:55,804 --> 00:43:59,006 I'm your granddaughter, Vera. 575 00:44:00,374 --> 00:44:01,408 You see? 576 00:44:01,442 --> 00:44:03,944 See what, Pop? 577 00:44:15,622 --> 00:44:20,729 I still don't understand why the two of you 578 00:44:20,762 --> 00:44:23,497 could sit here getting drunk, 579 00:44:23,530 --> 00:44:25,834 and I can only drink bubble water. 580 00:44:25,866 --> 00:44:27,968 Have I been a bad boy? 581 00:44:28,001 --> 00:44:28,837 No. 582 00:44:28,869 --> 00:44:30,504 No, you've been just great. 583 00:44:30,537 --> 00:44:32,039 But you can't have alcohol 584 00:44:32,072 --> 00:44:34,408 while you're on three of your medications, Pop. 585 00:44:34,441 --> 00:44:36,610 Well, throw out the medications. 586 00:44:36,643 --> 00:44:38,178 I'd rather get plastered. 587 00:44:39,346 --> 00:44:40,749 Maybe tomorrow. 588 00:44:42,015 --> 00:44:44,017 Who says I'll be around tomorrow? 589 00:44:44,051 --> 00:44:47,756 You wanna put that in writing that I'll be around tomorrow? 590 00:44:47,789 --> 00:44:50,725 Well, let's see how you feel. 591 00:44:50,759 --> 00:44:54,328 I know how I feel. Confused. 592 00:44:59,533 --> 00:45:01,736 Are you confused, too, darling? 593 00:45:03,137 --> 00:45:04,938 Constantly. 594 00:45:04,972 --> 00:45:06,573 Don't worry. The wine will take care of it. 595 00:45:06,607 --> 00:45:10,144 That's why I want alcohol, to clear up my confusion. 596 00:45:10,177 --> 00:45:14,816 I left word for Carl Icahn to stop by this evening. 597 00:45:18,952 --> 00:45:21,422 Who are you, by the way? 598 00:45:21,455 --> 00:45:24,258 I'm Vera, your granddaughter. 599 00:45:27,594 --> 00:45:30,364 I just wish someone would tell me where my mother is. 600 00:45:37,204 --> 00:45:38,305 You see? 601 00:45:38,338 --> 00:45:40,941 See what, Pop? 602 00:45:40,974 --> 00:45:43,143 Her. 603 00:45:45,045 --> 00:45:48,783 You're a very beautiful young woman. 604 00:45:48,817 --> 00:45:52,352 And you are a very handsome man. 605 00:45:57,524 --> 00:45:59,761 You know it. 606 00:45:59,794 --> 00:46:02,463 You should have seen me when I was 24. 607 00:46:02,496 --> 00:46:03,898 I'll bet. 608 00:46:03,932 --> 00:46:06,400 How old am I now? 609 00:46:08,302 --> 00:46:09,303 85. 610 00:46:09,336 --> 00:46:11,238 Liar. 611 00:46:12,673 --> 00:46:14,675 What's your opinion? 612 00:46:14,709 --> 00:46:16,543 85. 613 00:46:16,577 --> 00:46:17,946 Two liars. 614 00:46:20,782 --> 00:46:23,116 What's so funny? 615 00:46:29,891 --> 00:46:32,392 Who owns this restaurant? 616 00:46:32,426 --> 00:46:34,796 This is my apartment. This is not a restaurant. 617 00:46:34,829 --> 00:46:37,297 - I live here. - Prove it. 618 00:46:37,331 --> 00:46:40,167 I have documents. You wanna see? 619 00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:42,536 Worthless. They could still come and take it away from you 620 00:46:42,569 --> 00:46:44,271 whenever they want. 621 00:46:44,304 --> 00:46:46,273 Who can? 622 00:46:46,306 --> 00:46:48,977 The police! 623 00:46:49,009 --> 00:46:51,011 I'm gonna remember that. 624 00:46:51,044 --> 00:46:54,114 That's what they all say. 625 00:47:01,655 --> 00:47:04,057 Do you have a husband? 626 00:47:04,091 --> 00:47:06,360 - No. - Keep it that way. 627 00:47:06,393 --> 00:47:10,330 Most men, you can't trust 'em, believe me. 628 00:47:10,364 --> 00:47:12,165 I should know. 629 00:47:12,199 --> 00:47:14,601 My daughter Elaine... You're my daughter? 630 00:47:14,635 --> 00:47:16,069 Granddaughter. 631 00:47:16,103 --> 00:47:18,305 You're my daughter. Is that correct? 632 00:47:18,338 --> 00:47:19,139 Yes. 633 00:47:19,172 --> 00:47:21,074 What's your opinion? 634 00:47:21,108 --> 00:47:23,277 She's your daughter. This is Elaine, your daughter. 635 00:47:23,310 --> 00:47:24,578 My daughter Elaine, 636 00:47:24,611 --> 00:47:26,547 she got married to a no-good son of a bitch bastard 637 00:47:26,580 --> 00:47:28,615 whose name I wouldn't mention even if I could remember, 638 00:47:28,649 --> 00:47:30,117 which I can't. 639 00:47:30,150 --> 00:47:33,021 The selfish, rotten deadbeat. 640 00:47:36,557 --> 00:47:38,492 - Do you have a husband? - Nope. 641 00:47:40,694 --> 00:47:43,898 You should have seen me when I was 24. 642 00:47:48,870 --> 00:47:51,238 How old am I now? 643 00:47:51,271 --> 00:47:53,173 85. 644 00:47:53,206 --> 00:47:54,042 85. 645 00:47:54,074 --> 00:47:56,476 Who are you, darling? 646 00:47:56,510 --> 00:47:59,246 I am your granddaughter, Vera. 647 00:47:59,279 --> 00:48:01,883 I'm not surprised. You look like her. 648 00:48:01,916 --> 00:48:04,351 Same hair, same smile. 649 00:48:15,362 --> 00:48:19,266 I just wish someone would tell me where Mother is. 650 00:48:23,037 --> 00:48:26,273 Well, my mother is right here. 651 00:48:26,306 --> 00:48:29,010 She's not my mother. She's my wife. 652 00:48:29,043 --> 00:48:30,677 No, no, no. This is your daughter, Elaine. 653 00:48:30,712 --> 00:48:32,914 - I'm your daughter. - I'm your granddaughter, Vera. 654 00:48:32,947 --> 00:48:34,414 How would you know? You weren't even born. 655 00:48:34,448 --> 00:48:38,385 Tired of being lied to! I wanna know where my mother is! 656 00:48:39,988 --> 00:48:42,155 She's dead, Grandpa. 657 00:48:44,691 --> 00:48:46,027 Who's dead? 658 00:48:46,060 --> 00:48:50,798 Your mother, Sylvia, my great-grandmother. 659 00:48:50,832 --> 00:48:52,199 You're sure? 660 00:48:52,232 --> 00:48:54,401 Mm-hmm. 661 00:48:54,434 --> 00:48:55,837 She was 88, though. 662 00:48:55,870 --> 00:48:59,206 She had a really happy life. 663 00:49:04,812 --> 00:49:06,814 Why wasn't I told? 664 00:49:06,848 --> 00:49:08,716 - You were told, Pop. - That was 30 years ago, Pops. 665 00:49:08,750 --> 00:49:12,053 You arranged the funeral. You gave the eulogy. 666 00:49:12,086 --> 00:49:15,188 You spoke beautifully. 667 00:49:15,222 --> 00:49:17,992 She's at peace now. 668 00:49:23,263 --> 00:49:25,833 - Can we reach her on the phone? - No. 669 00:49:25,867 --> 00:49:28,502 No, but we can talk about her, 670 00:49:28,535 --> 00:49:30,738 and we can think about her, and we can remember her, 671 00:49:30,772 --> 00:49:33,775 and it makes her happy to know that we're thinking about her, 672 00:49:33,808 --> 00:49:36,978 and it makes us feel good to remember her, okay? 673 00:49:43,951 --> 00:49:45,185 Sylvia. 674 00:49:45,218 --> 00:49:47,654 I'm sorry, Grandpa. 675 00:49:47,688 --> 00:49:49,423 I don't like what's happening to me. 676 00:49:49,456 --> 00:49:51,291 I don't like what's happening to me! 677 00:49:51,324 --> 00:49:53,226 - I know. - Don't like what's happening to me! 678 00:49:53,260 --> 00:49:55,930 I don't like what's happening to me! 679 00:49:55,963 --> 00:49:58,331 I don't like what's happening to me! 680 00:50:14,982 --> 00:50:17,118 What's happening to me? 681 00:50:21,089 --> 00:50:22,656 Where you going, Grandpa? 682 00:50:25,793 --> 00:50:29,897 Somewhere... Somewhere where I could just kill myself in peace. 683 00:50:29,931 --> 00:50:31,264 - Just let me go. - No. 684 00:50:31,298 --> 00:50:32,332 - Let me... - Hey, hey. 685 00:50:32,365 --> 00:50:34,534 Can I ask you something first? 686 00:50:34,568 --> 00:50:35,569 What? 687 00:50:35,602 --> 00:50:37,537 Can I dance with you? 688 00:50:37,571 --> 00:50:40,240 That's a little forward, don't you think? 689 00:50:40,273 --> 00:50:42,009 I'm a modern woman. Come on. 690 00:50:42,043 --> 00:50:44,011 - Modern woman? - Come on. 691 00:50:44,045 --> 00:50:46,013 - Oh, boy. - Careful. 692 00:50:46,047 --> 00:50:48,149 - Oh, boy, a modern woman. - Get ready. 693 00:50:48,182 --> 00:50:50,084 Get those dancing shoes on, Grandpa. 694 00:50:50,118 --> 00:50:52,120 - Oh, boy. - Ready? 695 00:50:52,153 --> 00:50:55,555 You ready? 696 00:50:55,589 --> 00:50:56,991 - Oh. - Yeah. 697 00:51:31,259 --> 00:51:33,493 You know what I think about when I get upset? 698 00:51:33,527 --> 00:51:34,628 What? 699 00:51:34,661 --> 00:51:38,698 I remember that time where you and me and Mom 700 00:51:38,733 --> 00:51:40,101 first went to Europe, 701 00:51:40,134 --> 00:51:43,237 and Dad had just left, 702 00:51:43,271 --> 00:51:45,206 and we stayed at the Excelsior Hotel 703 00:51:45,239 --> 00:51:47,275 on the Lido in Venice. 704 00:51:47,307 --> 00:51:49,877 And when we first arrived, we went straight onto the beach, 705 00:51:49,911 --> 00:51:51,411 and we were all holding hands. 706 00:51:51,444 --> 00:51:54,481 You were on my left, and Mom was on my right, 707 00:51:54,514 --> 00:51:57,517 and we went straight into the sea, 708 00:51:57,551 --> 00:52:00,021 and we just walked and walked for hours. 709 00:52:00,054 --> 00:52:01,989 It felt like hours and days, 710 00:52:02,023 --> 00:52:05,226 and the sea was just up to our knees. 711 00:52:05,259 --> 00:52:06,593 And we walked and walked, 712 00:52:06,626 --> 00:52:10,397 and then finally we were fully immersed, 713 00:52:10,430 --> 00:52:13,533 and it was so salty that we were just floating. 714 00:52:13,567 --> 00:52:16,838 And we looked back at the hotel, 715 00:52:16,871 --> 00:52:19,774 and it was just a blur, and... 716 00:52:19,807 --> 00:52:22,509 and we laughed and laughed and laughed. 717 00:53:19,066 --> 00:53:20,634 Mama? 718 00:53:20,667 --> 00:53:21,736 Yes? 719 00:53:21,769 --> 00:53:23,403 If I ask you a question, 720 00:53:23,436 --> 00:53:25,538 will you answer it with complete honesty? 721 00:53:25,572 --> 00:53:28,109 Of course. 722 00:53:28,142 --> 00:53:30,244 When I was little, 723 00:53:30,278 --> 00:53:36,117 did you think that there was something, um... 724 00:53:36,150 --> 00:53:39,720 I don't know, like, odd about me or... 725 00:53:39,754 --> 00:53:41,255 What? 726 00:53:41,289 --> 00:53:44,091 Of course not. The opposite. 727 00:53:44,125 --> 00:53:46,394 It was easy to figure out 728 00:53:46,426 --> 00:53:50,197 that you were a very, very special child. 729 00:53:50,231 --> 00:53:54,302 But was I, like... 730 00:53:54,335 --> 00:53:56,436 I don't know. Did I ever, like... 731 00:53:56,469 --> 00:53:59,740 Was I ever violent or aggressive or... 732 00:53:59,774 --> 00:54:00,942 Violent? 733 00:54:00,975 --> 00:54:03,377 Well, you certainly weren't ordinary. 734 00:54:03,411 --> 00:54:04,712 You were never ordinary, 735 00:54:04,745 --> 00:54:07,480 so I guess, in that sense of the word, 736 00:54:07,514 --> 00:54:11,786 uh, we could stretch it out to saying you were odd. 737 00:54:11,819 --> 00:54:14,088 Is that what you mean? Certainly not violent. 738 00:54:14,121 --> 00:54:15,455 You were not violent. 739 00:54:15,488 --> 00:54:19,360 You never had a violent bone in your body. 740 00:54:19,393 --> 00:54:21,862 You've always been a loving, caring, 741 00:54:21,896 --> 00:54:23,463 and compassionate person. 742 00:54:23,496 --> 00:54:25,266 I love you so much. 743 00:54:25,299 --> 00:54:27,034 I love you, Mama. 744 00:54:27,068 --> 00:54:28,769 I love you. 745 00:54:28,803 --> 00:54:30,503 In fact, 746 00:54:30,537 --> 00:54:35,142 even when you would get really angry sometimes... 747 00:54:35,176 --> 00:54:36,676 Which is surprising 748 00:54:36,711 --> 00:54:38,346 'cause I know I can get physical. 749 00:54:38,379 --> 00:54:40,181 You were never physical. 750 00:54:40,214 --> 00:54:42,316 Never. 751 00:54:44,051 --> 00:54:46,954 - Why are we talking about this? - I don't know. 752 00:54:46,988 --> 00:54:48,555 Honey, this is... 753 00:54:48,588 --> 00:54:51,726 Why would you think about something like this? 754 00:55:01,936 --> 00:55:03,503 - Hi. - Hi. 755 00:55:03,536 --> 00:55:05,740 - I'm Carl Icahn. - I know. 756 00:55:05,773 --> 00:55:08,476 You do? Well, your grandfather asked me to come up. 757 00:55:08,508 --> 00:55:10,177 - Is he around? - No. 758 00:55:10,211 --> 00:55:11,746 They just left five minutes ago. 759 00:55:11,779 --> 00:55:13,247 Your grandfather's Arthur Lockman. 760 00:55:13,280 --> 00:55:14,982 - Yes. I'm Vera. - Oh, he just left? 761 00:55:15,016 --> 00:55:17,918 - He left with my mother. - He asked me to come up. 762 00:55:17,952 --> 00:55:19,787 He mentioned, but I didn't believe that... 763 00:55:19,820 --> 00:55:21,688 Anyway, would you... Why don't you come in? 764 00:55:21,722 --> 00:55:23,958 - You want a drink or something? - Why didn't you believe it? 765 00:55:23,991 --> 00:55:27,361 Sometimes, you know, he gets a little forgetful. 766 00:55:27,395 --> 00:55:29,263 Can I get you a drink or something? 767 00:55:29,296 --> 00:55:30,898 Okay with me. 768 00:55:30,931 --> 00:55:35,469 You want wine or water or... I'm having wine. 769 00:55:35,503 --> 00:55:37,905 I'll have a little wine. Fine, fine. 770 00:55:37,938 --> 00:55:39,672 Thank you. 771 00:55:39,707 --> 00:55:43,077 I'm sorry you missed him. 772 00:55:43,110 --> 00:55:45,578 Take a seat on the couch. 773 00:55:45,612 --> 00:55:49,450 This whole day has just been... Ugh. 774 00:55:49,483 --> 00:55:50,951 I mean, it's nice to meet you. 775 00:55:50,985 --> 00:55:52,987 I'm just sorry that you missed my grandfather. 776 00:55:53,020 --> 00:55:54,755 - I didn't even know... - Thank you. 777 00:55:54,789 --> 00:55:56,857 - You guys were friends. - I'm sorry to hear about that. 778 00:55:56,891 --> 00:56:00,728 Well, I wouldn't call us exactly friends. 779 00:56:00,761 --> 00:56:05,066 I haven't talked to him or seen him since I'm 15 years old, 780 00:56:05,099 --> 00:56:08,502 and he did me a great favor. 781 00:56:08,536 --> 00:56:12,639 I came up from a pretty tough school. 782 00:56:12,672 --> 00:56:16,043 And the high school we went to, Far Rockaway High School, 783 00:56:16,077 --> 00:56:19,246 a bunch of these kids from reform school were there 784 00:56:19,280 --> 00:56:20,915 and made my first week... 785 00:56:20,948 --> 00:56:22,917 There were these tough kids from Auburn. 786 00:56:22,950 --> 00:56:25,553 This place called Auburn. Really tough kids. 787 00:56:25,585 --> 00:56:27,521 I happened to be in the gym. 788 00:56:27,555 --> 00:56:29,023 I was playing a little basketball, 789 00:56:29,056 --> 00:56:31,658 and this guy comes over... I'll never forget... 790 00:56:31,691 --> 00:56:34,195 this Marvin Bligh, his name was. 791 00:56:34,228 --> 00:56:38,566 He walks over, and he says, 792 00:56:38,598 --> 00:56:43,270 "Hey, Jew boy. Look over here at me." 793 00:56:43,304 --> 00:56:44,738 And he spit in my face. 794 00:56:44,772 --> 00:56:47,208 I didn't know what the hell to do. 795 00:56:47,241 --> 00:56:49,210 He and his friends were there, 796 00:56:49,243 --> 00:56:51,278 or at least the people that he knew, 797 00:56:51,312 --> 00:56:53,581 maybe five, six, seven of these guys. 798 00:56:53,613 --> 00:56:56,884 They just kept chanting, "Stairwell, stairwell." 799 00:56:56,917 --> 00:56:58,651 Which meant to go to the stairwell, 800 00:56:58,685 --> 00:57:00,421 and that's where you have the fight. 801 00:57:00,454 --> 00:57:01,889 And I went to the stairwell, 802 00:57:01,922 --> 00:57:04,058 and I figured the only thing I could do to save it... 803 00:57:04,091 --> 00:57:07,294 because sooner or later, they were all gonna get me... 804 00:57:07,328 --> 00:57:09,629 I grabbed the guy by the head, 805 00:57:09,662 --> 00:57:12,366 and I kept banging it against the stairwell, 806 00:57:12,399 --> 00:57:14,535 and he started to bleed. 807 00:57:14,568 --> 00:57:17,037 And I thought the other guys would jump on me, 808 00:57:17,071 --> 00:57:18,105 but they really didn't. 809 00:57:18,139 --> 00:57:19,707 They just pulled me off of him. 810 00:57:19,740 --> 00:57:24,712 They were gonna expel me and bring me up on juvenile charges. 811 00:57:24,745 --> 00:57:26,914 Now, where does your father... grandfather come in? 812 00:57:26,947 --> 00:57:29,550 Well, he was there in the stairwell, 813 00:57:29,583 --> 00:57:33,387 and four of the kids... 814 00:57:33,420 --> 00:57:35,556 Which sort of restored my faith in human nature. 815 00:57:35,589 --> 00:57:37,091 I never had much faith. I still don't. 816 00:57:37,124 --> 00:57:40,660 To say "restored" isn't the right word, I guess. 817 00:57:40,693 --> 00:57:44,899 But makes me think there is a good side to people. 818 00:57:44,932 --> 00:57:48,169 And I think that, with some people, anyway. 819 00:57:48,202 --> 00:57:52,606 All four of 'em told the dean that I was completely innocent. 820 00:57:52,640 --> 00:57:55,509 This guy had spit in my face, and what could I do? 821 00:57:55,543 --> 00:57:57,945 And then they even made up some stuff 822 00:57:57,978 --> 00:57:59,947 about how when I went in the stairwell, 823 00:57:59,980 --> 00:58:02,283 he started smacking me, which really didn't happen 824 00:58:02,316 --> 00:58:04,084 'cause I jumped him, but... 825 00:58:04,118 --> 00:58:07,755 And the dean had no choice but to let me go and say, "Okay." 826 00:58:07,788 --> 00:58:11,091 And it sort of changed my life in a strange way. 827 00:58:11,125 --> 00:58:13,627 First of all, I had more faith in certain people. 828 00:58:13,661 --> 00:58:17,898 But it also... I was a smart kid in school. 829 00:58:17,932 --> 00:58:19,533 You know, Princeton, Yale, and Harvard 830 00:58:19,567 --> 00:58:21,202 were looking for a guy like me, 831 00:58:21,235 --> 00:58:24,772 a Jewish kid at the worst high school in America or New York. 832 00:58:24,805 --> 00:58:26,340 And I got into these colleges. 833 00:58:26,373 --> 00:58:29,877 I never would have got in if I had been charged, so... 834 00:58:29,910 --> 00:58:33,113 But when I saw these guys leave... 835 00:58:33,147 --> 00:58:35,583 they weren't even talking to me, they just left... 836 00:58:35,616 --> 00:58:39,653 I went over to 'em, and I said to 'em, 837 00:58:39,687 --> 00:58:43,190 "I owe you a favor." 838 00:58:43,224 --> 00:58:45,192 And one day, 839 00:58:45,226 --> 00:58:49,730 one day, whenever you want, you can call on that favor." 840 00:58:49,763 --> 00:58:53,867 I said, "All of you are gonna call on this one day." 841 00:58:53,901 --> 00:58:56,737 And I never saw your grandfather again, 842 00:58:56,770 --> 00:59:02,509 but three of them called the favor in. 843 00:59:02,543 --> 00:59:05,613 And I've lived up to it. 844 00:59:05,646 --> 00:59:07,915 And I helped them, and they all did well. 845 00:59:07,948 --> 00:59:09,950 And I never heard from your grandfather. 846 00:59:09,984 --> 00:59:11,452 Until now? 847 00:59:11,485 --> 00:59:13,220 Till now, tonight. 848 00:59:13,254 --> 00:59:15,389 What did he want? 849 00:59:15,422 --> 00:59:17,124 He didn't say. 850 00:59:17,157 --> 00:59:20,327 He said to come up and see him. 851 00:59:20,361 --> 00:59:23,097 He said he needed help. 852 00:59:23,130 --> 00:59:27,835 Do you know what he wanted? He said, "I need help." 853 00:59:27,868 --> 00:59:30,070 - No. - "And I'm calling you." 854 00:59:30,104 --> 00:59:34,508 Interestingly, he remembered it 'cause he did say... 855 00:59:34,541 --> 00:59:36,844 He said, "You owe me a favor." 856 00:59:38,512 --> 00:59:40,514 It's going back... 857 00:59:40,547 --> 00:59:44,785 Jesus, I feel older than I always felt, you know? 858 00:59:44,818 --> 00:59:47,621 Think about it. 65 years. 859 00:59:48,489 --> 00:59:50,057 My God. 860 00:59:51,992 --> 00:59:55,362 Makes me feel emotional about it. 861 00:59:55,396 --> 00:59:58,932 - Yeah. - Feel bad that he never called. 862 00:59:58,966 --> 01:00:04,605 Well, tell me about yourself a little, Vera. 863 01:00:04,638 --> 01:00:07,742 Well, uh... 864 01:00:07,776 --> 01:00:09,977 I don't really know where to begin. 865 01:00:10,010 --> 01:00:13,213 I've had such a strange night, you know. 866 01:00:13,247 --> 01:00:14,448 You had a strange night? 867 01:00:14,481 --> 01:00:15,983 You know, I'm an old poker player. 868 01:00:16,016 --> 01:00:18,452 It sounds like you got some problems, but... 869 01:00:18,485 --> 01:00:19,887 I don't even know where to start. 870 01:00:19,920 --> 01:00:21,188 Maybe I'm being forward, 871 01:00:21,221 --> 01:00:22,656 but it sounds like you got a few problems. 872 01:00:22,690 --> 01:00:26,694 I could share some things with you. 873 01:00:52,252 --> 01:00:54,221 Her sense of existing outside herself 874 01:00:54,254 --> 01:00:57,958 by connecting to other people had always been tenuous, 875 01:00:57,991 --> 01:00:59,993 and it extended only rarely and briefly 876 01:01:00,027 --> 01:01:03,097 beyond the two people who had always been there. 877 01:01:03,130 --> 01:01:05,499 Now even that fragile aspect of her being 878 01:01:05,532 --> 01:01:08,602 was receding without remorse, 879 01:01:08,635 --> 01:01:11,105 but she was determined to hold on. 880 01:01:58,820 --> 01:02:00,320 Suddenly, inexplicably, 881 01:02:00,354 --> 01:02:02,189 the violent churning in her stomach, 882 01:02:02,222 --> 01:02:04,291 which had seized her immediately after the killing, 883 01:02:04,324 --> 01:02:05,794 disappeared, 884 01:02:05,827 --> 01:02:08,629 replaced by a thoroughly irrational calm, 885 01:02:08,662 --> 01:02:11,465 a near-beatific felicity. 886 01:02:11,498 --> 01:02:13,133 It hardly disturbed her 887 01:02:13,167 --> 01:02:16,370 that she accepted so quickly what she had done. 888 01:02:16,403 --> 01:02:20,007 Manslaughter, accidental homicide, murder. 889 01:02:20,040 --> 01:02:23,410 It was a killing no matter the word. 890 01:02:23,444 --> 01:02:25,847 The path ahead was clear. 891 01:02:25,880 --> 01:02:27,916 She would follow her most urgent reaction 892 01:02:27,948 --> 01:02:29,918 to each moment in her life 893 01:02:29,950 --> 01:02:33,487 and confront the consequences as they emerged. 894 01:02:33,520 --> 01:02:36,190 Maybe she could even, through her words, 895 01:02:36,223 --> 01:02:40,260 help to stir some understanding in people she would never meet. 896 01:02:40,294 --> 01:02:42,696 If she could somehow manage shape her own turmoil 897 01:02:42,730 --> 01:02:44,131 into ideas and stories, 898 01:02:44,164 --> 01:02:46,500 which would reach them as she has been reached 899 01:02:46,533 --> 01:02:50,404 and even transformed by creators she had never met, 900 01:02:50,437 --> 01:02:53,607 people who had given her a sense of meaning and purpose, 901 01:02:53,640 --> 01:02:57,311 however tenuous and fragmented. 902 01:02:57,344 --> 01:03:00,715 Any other path would lead to chaos and madness, 903 01:03:00,748 --> 01:03:02,449 to the annihilation of the self, 904 01:03:02,483 --> 01:03:05,787 without which no life worth living was possible. 905 01:03:07,154 --> 01:03:09,623 Perhaps then, her mercilessly demanding brain 906 01:03:09,656 --> 01:03:11,826 would be appeased, 907 01:03:11,860 --> 01:03:13,795 and she might have a chance to savor 908 01:03:13,828 --> 01:03:18,532 and exult in the marvelous, irresistible uncertainty 909 01:03:18,565 --> 01:03:20,702 of the future. 910 01:04:04,812 --> 01:04:06,814 This is not a dream. 911 01:04:06,848 --> 01:04:08,315 It's happening right now, 912 01:04:08,348 --> 01:04:11,485 and you will never awaken from it 913 01:04:11,518 --> 01:04:13,587 because you are already awake.