[Patty] This was the third time I'd killed.
Maybe the fourth, depending on Stella Rose,
but I'd never done it in front of anyone before.
My mom had seen a part of me nobody else had, not even Bob.
Had I finally found a safe place to be honest?
- Could I recover after all? - What the hell are we gonna do?
I've got two kilos of cocaine in my tits. I'll get arrested. We can't call the cops.
- Let's call Bob. He's my lawyer. - No.
That's the last person that should help us cover up a murder.
[Patty] Great. Now she tells me.
You're saying we should cover this up?
I don't think we have a choice.
If word gets out about this,
we're gonna have some pissed off drug lords looking for payback.
- [knocking at door] - [gasps] Shh!
Is that them?
Get the gun. Get the gun.
[Henry] Patty, open up! I have something for you!
- It's Henry! Will you... - Hello?
- Just pretend we're not here. - Patty?
I can see you in there.
Shit. I've gotta answer it.
- Oh, sweetie, you just have a little... - Mom...
- Mom. - I won't...
- Thanks. - Okay.
Hey. What are you doing here?
Third runner-up.
Better than fourth, right?
[chuckles weakly]
I heard that there was a parade tomorrow, so you'll get to be on the float.
- That's cool, right? - Yeah, totally. Thank you for the stuff.
- I'll call you later. - Wait!
I'm going back to Minnesota tomorrow.
What?
- You're leaving? - Well, yeah.
Dixie's gonna come stay with us for a little bit
so we can get to know each other.
It's my last night here, so I thought we could spend it together.
Tonight?
[mouthing]
I can't. It's just...
My mom...
She got drunk
and puked all over the place.
I mean, there's vomit everywhere. Chunks on the walls.
[Henry] I don't care.
I want to talk about our future.
I was hoping we could try long distance.
[Patty] I wouldn't have a future at all if I didn't get rid of him fast,
even though it was the last thing I wanted to do.
What's the point?
You're leaving. It's over.
Wait, Patty! Don't do this.
I love you.
Oh, baby, what happened?
I think I just pushed away the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I wish the biggest decision you had to make today
was whether or notto continue a long-distance relationship,
instead of getting rid of bodies.
All those years I wasn't here for you.
You did this...
because of me.
It's all my fault.
[Patty] Was this my chance?
Could I tell her the truth?
It's not.
It's because of me.
I'm a killer.
Oh, my God. My sweet baby.
You're so not.
You saved my life.
You never ever, ever, ever would hurt anybody
if you didn't absolutely have to.
- But... - Baby,
you... are a beauty queen. You're not a murderer.
So much for being honest.
Hey, what's up with the bouquet and the sash? Did you win?
Third runner-up.
The last thing I want to do is be on some float.
No.
Oh, that's perfect. You gotta go.
More eyes on you, the better.
It's just... What are we gonna do with these bodies?
Don't look at me. I've never covered up a murder before.
Okay. No, I know.
Um...
Oh! We can take 'em, we can dump 'em in Gator Bog.
Nobody goes down to that old swamp anymore.
Okay. And we can't forget Bob's gun.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- Okay. - Okay.
- All right. So we've got a plan. - Got a plan.
It's gonna be fun.
["Photograph" by Def Leppard plays]
[crocodile growls]
♪ I'm out of luck, out of love ♪
♪ Got a photograph picture of ♪
♪ Passion killer... ♪
[Bob] I had finally realized I was bad for Patty.
- All right. Smile for the voters. - So I decided to focus on myself.
I moved back into my house, I was running for mayor,
and I wasn't going to let anything distract me.
- Not Patty, not pageants. - [record scratching]
What in the hell are you doing?
It's a photo shoot. Now move.
Oh, poor Bob.
You still trying to get a Grindr pic that someone will respond to?
No, this is for my mayoral campaign poster.
My dad arranged it.
[Coralee] Mmm. Why don't you just let it go?
You're only running as an F-U to me and Barnard.
No, I'm not. Not anymore.
But still...
F-U too.
Let's move to the kitchen. There's more natural light.
Oh, you know where else there's natural light? Outside.
So maybe you should just leave.
You leave.
You know, I can come back at another time.
Oh, no, no, no. Now's a perfect time.
Let's move to the breakfast nook.
- Seriously? - What?
I like to enjoy my coffee over here.
Oh, when is the last time you ever enjoyed anything...
You know what? This is stupid.
I am not going to get drawn in to your little drama.
Let's go back to the living room.
No, no, no. Excuse me.
No.
[Coralee] Go!
Are you really gonna be this immature?
Me? You are the one who is being immature.
- No, you are. - No, you.
- You. You. - You. You.
- [repeating] You. - [repeating] You!
Seems like you have stuff to work out...
You know what?
- Let's work it out. - Let's.
- Right now. - I'm ready. Let's do it!
What's going on?
Oh, hi. Half the house is mine,
and half the house is your mother's from now on.
Okay. Well, then I want the good side.
You've lost your minds. I'm going to Magnolia's.
I'm going to get out of here too. Just call me and reschedule.
- No! - Okay?
Look what you did.
Now I have to call my campaign manager and see if I can get another photographer.
[Patty] The parade's starting soon.
We'll make it.
Oh, you look pretty.
[chuckles weakly] Thanks.
Not at all like someone who just killed a bunch of drug dealers
and dumped their bodies in the swamp.
Oh, my God, Patty. What have we done?
[phone whistles]
[Angie] Nope!
I don't want to talk to anyone right now.
I just want a drink.
I know. I could eat a whole cake.
We'll get through this together.
- Okay. - [phone whistles again]
- Oh, shit. [sighs] - No.
Hey, Nonnie. What's up?
What's up? I've been calling you both all night.
Guess what I found out?
Somebody paid the guy who tried to attack you at the pageant.
What?
Who?
Ugh, that asshole winner, Heather Kristina Jamie Lee Curtis.
[Patty] Do you think she had anything to do with Roxy?
I don't know. Maybe.
Wha... Did you tell the cops?
I can't. The way I got him to talk wasn't quite legal.
Don't worry. I'll confront her myself. Drive faster.
Okay.
♪ Yeah, we like to get down ♪
♪ Freak it up to this sound ♪
♪ Like I'm the best I'm the best in this ♪
[vocalizing]
[marching band music plays]
[Patty] Hey, Heather!
Hey, stop! The third runner-up is here.
No, don't stop! She's late.
Drive faster! Faster!
- [brakes screech] - You bitch!
[Patty] I know what you did!
And I'm gonna take you down! Hard!
What are you doing? Go!
She is not going to steal my thunder.
[crowd gasping]
[man] Miss Georgia American Lady just blew up!
Okay, I know that threat sounded bad.
Oh, my God!
I'm Miss Georgia American...
[woman] It's a terrorist!
Peaches.
No, I don't want to win. I don't want to be Miss Georgia...
[spectator] No, it's the Pageant Killer!
It was her!
She killed my daughter!
Patty Bladell killed them all!
No.
No!
[officer] Back up! Back it up!
I'm gonna call Bob. We'll get this figured out.
[Patty] What were the odds?
I got arrested for a triple homicide I didn't do
after just committing an actual triple homicide.
The police thought I was the Pageant Killer.
And why wouldn't they?
Both times girls died, I ended up with the crown.
Even I wouldn't believe me.
But I knew Bob would.
I'm so sorry about what happened at State, but I promise,
- when you get me out of here... - I'm sorry.
I can't represent you.
What? Why?
I'm no good for you, Patty.
I've made some bad choices trying to protect you.
You said it yourself: because of me you can't be honest.
And now look, you're in here.
Wait, you don't think I did this, do you?
No, I know you didn't...
which is why I know you'll be okay.
Don't worry. I got you someone else, the best criminal attorney money can buy.
[motor whirring]
[door closes]
[Angie] Hey, baby.
This is Shannon. She'll be taking over from here.
She's tried murder cases and I haven't.
Normally, pageant girls give me the creeps,
but, hey, as long as the check clears.
You do have that check, don't you?
Oh, no, Bob, please. Let me do this for my daughter.
I've got some money sacked away in a... in a couple places.
Yeah, I'm going to need my $10,000 retainer within 24 hours or I'm gone.
Is that it? No tip on top or anything?
Here's a tip: next time, don't go so big.
[Bob] What's your plan? Do you have a defense strategy?
Yeah, the plan is, I work alone, so...
anywhere but here, Bob.
Right. [clears throat]
Good luck. Call me if you...
We're good.
[door closes]
So, I'm gonna be honest...
This case is a shit show.
They canceled Miss American Lady because of you,
- and since all those girls died... - Wait, I'm not going to get the crown?
Well, that's an interesting take-away. No, psycho, you're not.
Plus, you threatened Heather-six-names before she blew up.
And you were just late enough to keep yourself off that float.
Why were you late? Where were you?
[Patty] I was dumping three bodies in Gator Bog.
She was with me.
Doing what?
Hanging out.
Mother-daughter time.
Yeah.
Yeah. The mommy defense isn't gonna cut it,
and without a rock-solid alibi,
we're gonna wait for your arraignment to get you out on bail.
Bail?
I can't go to jail.
Well, you're in luck.
There's a bedbug outbreak at the jail,
and everyone's being temporarily transferred.
You're going to prison.
[dramatic music swells]
[Bob] I had to believe I had done the right thing, for both of us.
Patty would get better representation, and I could focus on my mayoral campaign.
Mr. Armstrong, as Miss Bladell's attorney, would you care to comment on her case?
- I'm no longer her attorney. - Because you think she's guilty?
Absolutely not. Miss Bladell is a victim of circumstance.
You're saying it's a coincidence that both times pageant girls died,
Patty Bladell got the crown?
I'm saying that I know in my bones that she's innocent.
Then why not take her case?
Because I'm busy running for mayor.
[Bob] Except being associated with an accused serial murderer
wasn't exactly going to help me win votes.
[phone chimes]
Unless I could use my newfound notoriety as a way to get out my message.
- You guys want a real story? - Yeah.
Follow me.
- ♪ If they askin' ♪ - ♪ Askin'... ♪
- What the hell? - Right, give me that.
Bob Barnard,
I'm challenging you to a debate...
this weekend.
You've got a lot of nerve coming in here.
Your client killed my daughter.
That's the problem with you law and order candidates.
You always want to convict before the trial.
I think I'm winning this debate already.
You know what?
Fine. I'll do it.
And I'm gonna wipe the floor with you.
I'm a master debater.
[reporters chuckling]
Why is that funny?
We're not live, are we?
[Patty] I was in prison for a crime I didn't commit,
and I still couldn't be honest
because my alibi would land me right back in here.
So now I was trapped with a bunch of other criminals,
without food or exercise or Bob.
- How the hell was I going to cope? - [door opens]
[man] Patty Bladell.
My queen.
Scram, ladies. We need this space.
[inmate] What makes her so special?
Who are you?
I'm Warden Winters, and boy, am I happy to meet you.
My lady inmates have won every prison competition that they've entered:
hula dancing, sloppy-joe eating, thumb wrestling.
Only one competition that's ever eluded me:
the National Prison Coalition's Misguided Beauty Competition.
It's the beauty pageant for female convicts.
For 15 straight years, I sent a lady over there to represent us,
and for 15 straight years, we don't even place.
But now I have you.
You... You want me to compete?
No, you could be gone by then, released out on bail.
So, you're gonna do the next best thing:
choose our winning pageant girl.
Now, here are the girls that I think have the best shot.
Maybe this was my way to get through this...
without food or exercise.
Okay. I'm in.
But you can't pick the right girl out of a book.
We would need to have a competition.
Competition?
We're gonna have our very own prison pageant.
[Angie] I had promised Patty that I would be there for her, and right now,
paying her legal bills was the best I could do.
Dr. Duffy, thanks for coming.
I was surprised you still have the same number.
I live in a cabin in the woods.
I'm not a man that likes change.
- Right. - You know, the last time that I saw you,
we got a bullet out of your boyfriend's shoulder.
Gordy, I think. How's he doing?
Dead. Could we just get to the procedure? I don't have a lot of time.
Look, you weren't real specific on the phone.
What are we doing here today?
Lipo? Mole removal? Abortion?
Implants. You ever done those before?
No. But I'll remove anything for a price.
How are you providing payment?
I've got two kilos of cocaine in my tits.
I'll give you half a kilo.
A whole kilo,
or you can have it removed by a more reputable physician.
After which, you'll be arrested for being a drug mule.
All right. You've got a deal, asshole.
[Bob] Now that I had challenged Barnard to a debate,
all I needed was a platform.
[Coralee] Do you like what I've done with the place?
You know what? This is great.
The less stuff in my space,
the less I'll be distracted.
[playing through speakers] ♪ Oh, I like it a lot ♪
♪ Yeah, wanna see what I got? ♪
- ♪ Oh, I like it a lot ♪ - ♪ I like it ♪
♪ I like it a lot ♪
♪ Wanna see what I got? ♪
[Coralee grunts]
Coralee, do you have to do that right now?
You can always just move back to the office.
Oh, shit.
[Bob] If I was going to get anything done, duct tape wasn't going to cut it.
I was going to need a bigger blockade.
- [Bob] Right this way, gentlemen. - Bob!
What is going on here?
I am building a wall.
On my side, I'm gonna put my campaign headquarters.
It's a rush job, so they'll be here all night.
How am I supposed to sleep?
Why am I supposed to care? You could just move out.
Actually, no, I can't. I spoke to my attorney,
and she said that if I leave, I lose my rights to the house.
Well, I see that you are in a pickle.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I do have some paint samples to look at.
[power tools whirring]
Oh, now, that's what I'm talking about. Let's shoot a magic video.
[sighs]
If I wear this, I will seriously set back feminism 25 years.
The sexy assistant is an age-old magic tradition. Here...
Pick a card.
- You got it? - Mm-hmm.
Is this your card?
No.
Did you want me to pick the seven of clubs in the first place?
Yes.
Because you have a second seven of clubs in your deck?
- How did you know that? - Because I'm not an idiot.
Here, give them to me.
Pick a card.
Got it?
Yeah.
Give it a little tap.
Is this your card?
Wow, you're a natural.
Maybe you should do the tricks.
Maybe.
But you know what that means.
How do I look?
Ohh! [chuckles]
Honestly,
it looks better on you.
[Patty] Thank you for agreeing to participate
in the first annual Miss Pretty in Prison competition.
If I pick you as the winner,
you will be excused from a week's worth of prison chores
and you will go on to the national Misguided Beauty Competition
in Billings, Montana, next month. Yay.
What makes you judge and jury?
Well, I just competed in Miss Georgia American Lady.
That's why you look familiar. I saw you on the news.
You blew up all those pageant girls.
- No, I didn't. I promise. - [inmate 1] Yeah, we're all innocent.
[inmate 2] I didn't do shit.
Okay, here's the deal.
The pageant will consist of three parts:
gowns, which you all make,
a talent portion, and then an interview question.
Question? What kind of question?
Are you a narc? Like Krystal?
Bitch, I ain't no narc!
No. Oh...
Knock it off, skank! She's trying to help us.
Yeah, let's skip the question,
and everyone go get your supplies to show me your talent,
and we'll meet back here.
The girls seemed excited.
And I didn't even really want to eat.
Was it because I had found some sense of purpose?
Maybe this was all gonna work out.
Jesus!
Oh, sorry. Didn't mean to scare you.
I know your coach.
He gave me a makeover a few months ago.
Best day of my life.
- Thanks for sharing. - No prob.
I just wanted to say it was awesome to meet you,
and, uh, you better pick me, or I will kill you.
Wait, what?
And, just so we're clear, that time I totally meant to scare you.
It's simple.
I win or you die.
- Yo, bitch. - Ah!
- How long have you been under there? - Don't worry about that.
You just worry about making me the winner, or else you'll wake up dead.
Oh, God. Not you too.
Not me what, dear?
I just wanted to thank you for giving me this opportunity.
Sure. Of course.
And if you don't pick me,
I will gut you like the tragic fish you are.
Toodles.
Eating and over-exercise were dangerous enough.
Now this could kill me too.
Maybe it was time to try a bit of honesty after all.
Every single one of you has threatened to kill me if I don't pick you to win.
Seriously? Copycat bitches.
Which means there's only one way out of this.
- You die? - No.
We need to have an honest pageant.
If any one of you wins because you threatened me, it's cheating.
- You think we care? We're criminals. - [Patty] You should care.
Take it from someone who knows.
Last two pageants I won
because someone else got disqualified or murdered.
It felt like crap knowing I didn't deserve the win.
So here's my pitch: I'll coach all of you, for real,
and whoever is the best,
that'll be the honest win.
[snorts] What, are we all in high school? What's next? Trust falls?
I tuned out after "honest pageant."
I'm gonna kill you just for suggesting it.
Wait!
Maybe Patty's right.
Maybe none of us can ever really be honest
about who we are or what we've done,
but right here, right now, we can have an honest win.
Plus, you all know you weren't really gonna kill her.
I'm a hacker, Tanya's a money launderer,
Krystal's a prostitute, and Summer's also a prostitute.
None of us are murderers.
Except me.
Except her.
Wait.
Was this a place I could tell the truth?
That's right. I am.
So you better not mess with me.
Who's in?
[Bob] Now that my campaign headquarters was handled,
I could focus on my platform.
Maybe choosing an outfit for the debate would inspire me.
What the hell?
[phone rings]
[grunting]
[hip hop music plays]
My talent is lock-picking.
♪ Rise up to the level that my name on ♪
♪ 'Cause I am in the zone ♪
♪ They be trying to get ahold of my halo ♪
♪ But they never catch up 'cause they too slow ♪
♪ That's cool I'mma do me, though ♪
♪ 'Cause you already know I'mma do me ♪
♪ 'Cause I'mma do me... ♪
[Patty] Yeah, that's so pretty. Is that an accent color?
[inmate] Yeah.
Shelby,
you might want to go with a more festive color.
But doody-brown is my spirit color.
I don't even know what that means, but I support you.
♪ We all gotta face mo' hatin' ♪
[sewing machine whirring]
♪ Just love and live what we're sayin'... ♪
[Patty] Uh...
Why are you walking like...
What's going on with your butt? Relax.
♪ 'Cause I'mma do me ♪
[PA system beeps]
[guard on PA] Patty Bladell, you have a visitor.
Thank God.
Great news.
- You're getting me out of here? - No,
but way to make my great news sound just sorta good.
The police found security footage of a suspect planting the bomb.
Then they can see it's not me?
- That is great news. - Wait for it, Tinkerbell.
The footage is so grainy, they can't see who it is.
Man, woman, non-binary, gender-fluid... Who knows?
But there is a timestamp,
which means you need an alibi for 10:00 p.m.
Someone who didn't squeeze you out of their uterus. Thoughts?
My boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend.
He came by the house right around 10:00 p.m.
I can call him. Can I borrow your phone?
You can remember people's numbers?
I can't even remember the name of the guy I screwed last night.
[line ringing]
This is Henry.
Hey, it's Patty.
[line clicks, dial tone droning]
[operator] The caller has blocked this number.
I take it things didn't end well?
No.
All right. Look, I'll go talk to him. What's his address?
Uh, yeah, that's the problem.
He moved back to Minnesota with his family.
I've no idea where.
And Henry Lee is kind of a common name.
Any other info that might help?
He's pre-law, pre-med,
and a stripper.
Wow. You really screwed the pooch on this one, huh?
He has a sister, Dixie. She owns the Wiener Taco.
Dixie Sinclair? I know her.
All right. Don't worry.
I will get this done.
- [door closing] - [Nonnie] Angie!
Angie!
Angie! Hi.
What the hell happened?
Oh, Nonnie. [laughs]
A funny story...
Oh, no. Did you relapse?
No. No!
I'm just coming off the AnaConDa...
ana... stevia.
I got my implants removed.
You're doing this while your daughter's in prison?
I'm trying to get her out.
My boobs were full of cock.
Cocaine. Look.
Oh... Why did you call me here, Angie?
As a future law enforcement officer, I can't know this.
Oh, honey. No, it's fine. I need your help.
Your dad, he has connections
to drug dealers,
and they can smell it, sell it, and then I can pay her lawyer.
[Bob] Coralee messed with my most prized possession,
so I was gonna destroy hers.
Bob! Bob!
What have you done?
Maybe you shouldn't have stolen all of my suits.
I took 'em to the dry cleaners, you shit.
I didn't tear them to pieces. [gasps]
Oh, my God. Why would you do this to me? This is my future.
What is wrong with you?
I'm sorry. I don't... I don't know.
No.
Save your apology.
This is war.
I still don't get why we had to make that video.
I'll just get my message out at the debate tomorrow.
It's important to give people an idea of what you stand for ahead of time,
so they don't think you're just reacting to your opponent.
- Yeah. - I'm posting it on ShenaniCam right now.
What, just the raw footage? Shouldn't we get it professionally edited?
With what funding? It's good.
- Yeah. - It's gritty,
- relatable. - Yeah.
And you look hot in it.
- Do I? - Yeah.
[grunts]
Yes, please.
- [phone ringing] - I'm sorry.
- Sorry. - Ignore it.
Yeah.
Oh, look, I'm sorry. I gotta... I gotta go to Coralee's.
She says it's an emergency.
Seriously? I mean, she calls and you just drop everything?
She's my best friend.
You sure it's not more than that?
Don't be jealous.
I'll be back before you know it.
I won't let you get away, Bob. [inhales]
Either one of you.
Ladies! Ladies!
Good evening, ladies and guards.
Welcome to the first ever Waters Correctional Facility's
Pretty in Prison Beauty Pageant.
["Batches & Cookies" by Lizzo feat. Sophia Eris plays]
And now welcome to the stage the beguiling and beautiful Miss Krystal.
♪ Remember that gooey gooey you took And said, "Ooh wee, ooh wee" ♪
♪ I need two or two-eee of these for my baby boo-ee ooo-ee ♪
♪ Talking like boobies You got a nice pair like some... ♪
♪ And you high off that doobie doobie with your Mystery Machine ♪
Miss Tanya.
♪ Hanging with them creepy creepies... ♪
♪ Lookin' holy holy while looking through them holy holies ♪
♪ Batches and cookies I got my batches and cookies ♪
[Patty] For a moment, we all got to escape.
I got to be honest.
They got to feel pretty in prison.
Miss Cindy.
Miss Navi.
Maybe I could find freedom behind bars after all.
Miss Summer.
And last but not least, the audacious and enchanting Miss Shelby.
[cheering]
[applause dies down]
Miss Shelby?
- Night, Marty. - [Marty] See ya.
She's gone. Sound the alarm!
[alarm blares]
So much for the truth setting me free. Shelby lied.
You help Shelby escape!
All that "let's have an honest pageant win" was crap!
No, no, it wasn't. I... I promise.
If we all kill you together, they can't throw any of us in the hole.
What's the hole?
Where you're going.
- I should have never trusted you. - [inmate] Lock her up.
I didn't do... I didn't know she was...
[inmates chanting] Lock her up!
[Bob] This was harder than I thought.
Why couldn't I just come up with a platform?
[knocking at door]
- Hey. - Hey.
[door closes]
Barnard.
Nice wall.
We're gonna go upstairs and prep for his debate.
Maybe I needed a snack.
Let's see. My platform.
What did I want from Masonville?
Designer outlets? Haberdashery? Bathhouse?
- [creaking] - [Barnard] Coralee!
[Coralee] Oh, Bob!
Take off my bra!
[Barnard] I am! I'm gonna take it off!
- Bob! Oh, yes! - [smacking]
[Barnard] Somebody's being a bad girl!
It's me. Get it, Bob. Get it.
Here you go. See, isn't this fun?
I can't believe I'm doing this. I should be focusing on the debate.
Doing this is helping you too, okay? We're messing with his head.
- Oh, Coralee! - Back door, no babies!
That feels so good!
- Whoo! - Coralee!
Coralee, I love you! I love you!
[Coralee] I love you and your penis.
Oh, I love it when you touch me there in that spot.
- [thud] - [Coralee yelps]
- Shit. Coralee? - What the fuck?
Are you all right? Oh, no. You're bleeding.
- I am? - Yeah.
- I faint at the sight of blood. - You do?
What in the hell is going on?!
Wait. You guys were faking?
No, Bob, leave!
Because Barnard's gonna faint, and Bob faints at the sight of fainting.
No, that was just that one time...
Ugh, men are useless.
[Patty] I had been in here for hours, but it felt like a month.
All I wanted to do was eat.
At least here in solitary I was safe from those girls.
[Patty] You're not safe from me.
What the hell?
You'll never be safe.
Not until you can be honest with yourself.
What are you talking about?
Of course, I'm honest with myself. I know everything I've done.
But do you know why?
I killed Christian to protect Magnolia.
I threw those bodies in Gator Bog to protect my mom.
If you still think that,
you're not being honest with yourself at all.
What do you mean?
[distant yelling]
Today's your lucky day.
Your alibi came through, and we're dropping the Shelby thing.
Your lawyer's scary as fuck.
So good luck at Miss American Lady.
It's back on?
Oh, right. You haven't seen the news.
I guess people want to see if another girl gets killed.
Let's process you and get you out.
[Patty] I was finally getting out.
So why didn't I feel free?
Was Bloody Patty right?
Was there something I was hiding from myself?
[Angie] You're a good friend, Nonnie.
To Patty and to me.
I'm just... I'm sorry you had to compromise your morals.
Oh, I didn't. The second we made the drop, I called in an anonymous tip.
Oh, shit. Girl, you really are a cop.
[phone chimes]
Patty's getting out! Patty's getting out!
[exclaiming]
Oh, my God!
And after... Oh, after I pay her lawyer, I'm gonna have 90 grand left.
I could buy a plane. I could buy a Ferris wheel.
I could buy a fucking otter farm.
Or, now that Patty's off the hook,
maybe we could all go to Miss American Lady.
I mean, after the week we've had, we deserve it, right?
- Yeah. - Whoo!
[Angie] Nonnie was right.
I had finally done right by my daughter. We did deserve a reward.
Thank you!
[Bob] Some people talk about draining the swamp.
Well, talk's cheap.
I'm gonna put my money where my mouth is and drain an actual swamp...
Gator Bog.
And on that land, I'm gonna build a new jail
'cause the old one has bedbugs.
- Bob Barnard for mayor. I got this. - [Angie] No, no, no.
No need for stitches. No nausea, so no risk of concussion.
And most importantly, the baby is fine.
Did you not know?
No, but you know what?
I've always been irregular, so maybe, you know, I'm just...
According to my calculations, you're about eight or nine weeks.
Should we call the father?
[Barnard] I got your text.
Are you okay?
What did the doctor say?
I'll give you some privacy.
So?
I'm fine. I'm good.
Oh, thank God.
- You want me to give you a ride home? - I'll give her a ride. I live there.
No. You know what?
I'm not going home with either of you. I'm fine. I'm staying here.
The doctor wants me to stay just to keep an eye on me.
You guys go. I'm fine.
Are you sure?
Absolutely.
[phone beeping]
Patty is out of jail. Totally innocent. I think you owe me an apology.
Me?
You're the one who just tore up all Coralee's Tampoozles.
Why the hell did you do that?
Why the hell would you pretend to have sex with Coralee? Just to get back at me?
Don't you have better things to worry about?
Oh, like preparing for the debate tomorrow that you challenged me to?
[Bob Armstrong] I had been trying to prepare, hadn't I?
You still running just to get back at me? You even care what the issues are?
Of course I cared. So why'd I let myself get so distracted?
- I care. - Yeah, sure.
From what I see, all you care about is building a wall,
tearing up Tampoozles, and being an asshole to your ex-wife.
Which one of those is your platform?
You even want to win?
'Course I do.
Except I had never won anything in my life,
and the idea of it scared the shit out of me.
Was I getting in my own way?
Self-sabotaging because I was afraid to win?
Bob...
you should just drop out.
I think it'd be best for everyone.
But maybe I wasn't the only one who was scared I might win.
You're afraid you might lose.
- I am not. - Of course you are.
If you weren't, you wouldn't be trying to make me quit.
That is not true. I've never lost anything in my entire life.
I'll see you at the debate, Bob.
Master debater.
That's not funny!
[man] Knock, knock.
Oh, Detective Cruz. Hi.
I thought you were the discharge nurse.
The hospital actually contacted me to talk to you before you leave.
Really? Why?
Standard procedure.
When a woman has an accident in the home
that looks like it could be domestic violence,
I need to make sure everything's okay.
Well, that's good to hear.
I mean, not for me, but for other people.
I can assure you that this was just a dumb accident.
Are you pregnant?
Well, that's exciting news.
Congratulations. How far along?
Uh, eight or nine weeks.
Mmm.
Can you do me a favor and not tell anyone?
I mean, I haven't said anything to anyone yet, so...
Oh, your secret's safe with me.
Tell you what, what if I give you a ride home?
Again, sorry to have to put you back there.
I have all this equipment up here.
Oh, no, it's fine, Detective.
Yeah, it's been a while since I've been in the back of a police car.
I had a wild youth.
[laughs] Good for you.
Oh, Detective, you just passed my street.
Hello? I live back there.
This will go a lot easier if you stay calm.
What will?
What's happening?
Detective?
Detective!
- Stop the car. - [engine revving]
Help!
Let me out! No!
No!
Stop the car!
Help! Help!