1
00:00:12,291 --> 00:00:15,500
安德魯，我不確定這是好主意

2
00:00:15,583 --> 00:00:17,750
這樣你的肺會變成清爽田園沙拉口味

3
00:00:17,833 --> 00:00:20,083
誰在乎啊？橫豎我都死定了

4
00:00:20,166 --> 00:00:22,416
那個神經病彭彭威脅我

5
00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:23,958
說高中第一天就要殺了我

6
00:00:24,041 --> 00:00:26,875
他不是威脅，而是保證那麼做

7
00:00:26,958 --> 00:00:28,875
我睡不著，吃不下

8
00:00:28,958 --> 00:00:31,791
除了這包多力多滋、一瓶兩公升可樂

9
00:00:31,875 --> 00:00:35,375
-一些焦糖牛奶巧克力
-安德魯，寶寶，你得放鬆一點

10
00:00:35,458 --> 00:00:36,750
天啊，我超需要放鬆

11
00:00:36,833 --> 00:00:39,000
你知道什麼是你的鎮靜妙招

12
00:00:39,083 --> 00:00:42,750
好吧，說不定我真的靠尻槍解憂

13
00:00:42,833 --> 00:00:46,375
你應該去你想像中的脫衣舞俱樂部

14
00:00:46,458 --> 00:00:50,083
我更喜歡稱之為
我想像中的紳士俱樂部

15
00:00:50,166 --> 00:00:52,125
但好啊，我們就來打手槍吧

16
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:55,833
好，今晚第一個性感肉體

17
00:00:55,916 --> 00:00:58,875
來自哈曼達里恩醫生辦公室的壁畫

18
00:00:58,958 --> 00:01:02,916
熱烈歡迎性感大牙

19
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:07,375
大男孩，你是不是
又騙牙醫你有剔牙了？

20
00:01:07,458 --> 00:01:10,916
沒錯，我爸說牙線是詐騙

21
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:13,875
下一位有孕在身八個半月

22
00:01:13,958 --> 00:01:15,791
但她還是能做瑜伽

23
00:01:15,875 --> 00:01:21,125
黛西鴨穿著露露檸檬的孕婦裝

24
00:01:21,208 --> 00:01:22,666
這是高飛狗的寶寶

25
00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:25,291
唉唷，真是一言難盡

26
00:01:25,375 --> 00:01:26,625
安德魯！

27
00:01:27,125 --> 00:01:30,125
-彭彭！
-你這個變態死定了

28
00:01:30,208 --> 00:01:32,000
警衛！拜託救我！

29
00:01:32,083 --> 00:01:34,541
這應該是我的私人幻想啊

30
00:01:36,083 --> 00:01:39,666
糟糕！你引發了類似魯布戈德堡的
化簡為繁一連串事件

31
00:01:39,750 --> 00:01:43,083
-神奇八號球！獎盃很重
-你的老二有危險了

32
00:01:43,166 --> 00:01:44,458
快把命根子遮起來！

33
00:01:44,541 --> 00:01:47,208
靠，這就像OK Go的
一鏡到底的音樂錯視影片

34
00:01:47,291 --> 00:01:49,541
他們都在跑步機上打手槍

35
00:01:49,625 --> 00:01:52,708
我爸會生我屍體的氣

36
00:01:52,791 --> 00:01:54,041
好險

37
00:01:54,916 --> 00:01:55,750
謝天謝地

38
00:01:56,875 --> 00:01:58,958
-糟糕！
-送我去醫院

39
00:01:59,041 --> 00:02:00,083
等一下

40
00:02:00,166 --> 00:02:02,833
一定沒那麼糟吧，我看一眼

41
00:02:03,416 --> 00:02:04,541
送醫啦！

42
00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:07,291
《青春無密語》

43
00:02:38,166 --> 00:02:40,791
那些高中女生不知道她們在說什麼啦

44
00:02:40,875 --> 00:02:43,541
我是有小肌肉的矮國王

45
00:02:43,625 --> 00:02:46,083
他以為他有肌肉耶

46
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:47,708
小寶寶假裝壯漢

47
00:02:47,791 --> 00:02:49,791
誰是小肌肉男？

48
00:02:49,875 --> 00:02:51,666
夠了！別煩我！

49
00:02:51,750 --> 00:02:54,166
她們說得對，我的身材像嬰兒

50
00:02:54,250 --> 00:02:56,500
不對，兄弟，我們強壯如袋鼠

51
00:02:56,583 --> 00:02:57,791
寶貝，你瞧！

52
00:02:59,375 --> 00:03:02,750
天啊，別配這種口哨唱衰音效

53
00:03:02,833 --> 00:03:05,500
可能我得更用力秀肌肉吧

54
00:03:07,750 --> 00:03:09,250
噩夢般的人生啊

55
00:03:09,333 --> 00:03:10,666
送我去醫院

56
00:03:10,750 --> 00:03:13,083
獸醫院

57
00:03:13,791 --> 00:03:15,333
閣下，是這樣的

58
00:03:15,416 --> 00:03:16,791
這種事誰都有可能發生

59
00:03:16,875 --> 00:03:20,583
我經過一棵樹，聽見小鳥寶寶受困

60
00:03:20,666 --> 00:03:21,541
好喔

61
00:03:21,625 --> 00:03:23,416
我開始攀爬樹枝

62
00:03:23,500 --> 00:03:27,416
但聽見口哨聲，分心了所以沒站穩

63
00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:30,083
口哨聲？誰會對你吹口哨啊？

64
00:03:30,166 --> 00:03:31,916
一群年輕的女秘書

65
00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,958
她們午休時對我的英勇行徑很感興趣

66
00:03:34,041 --> 00:03:36,583
天啊，我明明叫你
不要做任何英勇的事

67
00:03:36,666 --> 00:03:38,125
媽媽，妳說得對

68
00:03:38,208 --> 00:03:40,208
因為那些女人對我吹挑逗口哨

69
00:03:40,291 --> 00:03:44,250
害我摔下來
無辜的睪丸直接撞上樹枝

70
00:03:44,333 --> 00:03:45,791
-好，夠了！
-好吧

71
00:03:45,875 --> 00:03:48,000
-你們噁心的兒子絕對在說謊
-沒錯

72
00:03:48,083 --> 00:03:51,083
他肯定用奇怪的方式自慰了

73
00:03:51,166 --> 00:03:53,166
-我就知道！
-為什麼，安德魯？

74
00:03:53,250 --> 00:03:55,708
因為他癡迷於玩弄自己的生殖器

75
00:03:55,791 --> 00:03:58,041
-天啊
-我認為該砍掉他的雙手

76
00:03:58,125 --> 00:04:01,291
是可以啦，但我瞭解你們的兒子
他大概會改用腳

77
00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:04,833
事實是無論你們怎麼禁止他
他都還是會有對策

78
00:04:04,916 --> 00:04:06,625
我好痛苦

79
00:04:06,708 --> 00:04:08,541
醫生，直接告訴我吧

80
00:04:08,625 --> 00:04:10,750
我的小雞雞會好嗎？

81
00:04:10,833 --> 00:04:13,166
怪男孩，你傷了你的附睪…

82
00:04:13,250 --> 00:04:15,500
-什麼？
-那是睪丸後方的一根管子

83
00:04:15,583 --> 00:04:17,083
負責輸送精子的

84
00:04:17,166 --> 00:04:19,125
而你的腫脹很嚴重

85
00:04:19,625 --> 00:04:22,625
我該怎麼辦？一定有藥吃吧？

86
00:04:22,708 --> 00:04:25,375
某種特效藥
給我西維吉尼亞那種好東西

87
00:04:25,458 --> 00:04:27,708
別光杵在那裡，我的男孩很痛苦

88
00:04:27,791 --> 00:04:30,541
這種傷無藥可吃

89
00:04:30,625 --> 00:04:32,833
唯一的治療方法是讓睪丸休息

90
00:04:32,916 --> 00:04:35,625
那是什麼意思？
拿小枕頭給我的小雞雞？

91
00:04:35,708 --> 00:04:39,875
我的建議是三週不要手淫

92
00:04:40,583 --> 00:04:43,583
三週？

93
00:04:43,666 --> 00:04:48,208
這比死亡還悽慘

94
00:04:48,291 --> 00:04:50,458
-去你的！王八蛋，幹！
-安德魯！

95
00:04:50,541 --> 00:04:52,708
-小混蛋，去你的
-恩格爾醫生！

96
00:04:52,791 --> 00:04:54,708
-什麼？是他先出言不遜
-快速問一下

97
00:04:54,791 --> 00:04:58,166
如果我不在乎孩子會怎樣
還得付醫藥費嗎？

98
00:04:58,250 --> 00:04:59,291
是的

99
00:04:59,375 --> 00:05:01,208
（游泳比賽因腹瀉取消）

100
00:05:02,166 --> 00:05:03,541
就是這樣，各位

101
00:05:03,625 --> 00:05:05,875
繼續拉扯學校的馬尾

102
00:05:05,958 --> 00:05:08,416
直到你能摸到天際

103
00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:10,333
抱歉我遲到了，史提夫教練

104
00:05:10,416 --> 00:05:13,625
-我有醫生診斷書
-這診斷書非常…

105
00:05:14,458 --> 00:05:16,750
騙誰呢？我又不識字，大家都知道

106
00:05:16,833 --> 00:05:18,333
“敬啟者

107
00:05:18,416 --> 00:05:21,916
這個噁心怪胎徹底摧毀了他的生殖器

108
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:23,041
接下來三週

109
00:05:23,125 --> 00:05:25,833
都不能參加任何體能活動”

110
00:05:25,916 --> 00:05:28,416
任何體能活動？那是不是包括…

111
00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:29,833
對！沒錯！

112
00:05:29,916 --> 00:05:32,208
我唯一的愛好和歡樂泉源

113
00:05:32,291 --> 00:05:34,750
至少你不必攀爬愚蠢的繩子

114
00:05:34,833 --> 00:05:38,708
我超想要摸我的小肥短繩

115
00:05:38,791 --> 00:05:41,875
潔西，妳聽懂了嗎？我好想自慰啊

116
00:05:41,958 --> 00:05:44,791
好喔，我不該多問的…

117
00:05:44,875 --> 00:05:48,041
我個頭這麼小，怎麼還這麼重？

118
00:05:48,125 --> 00:05:51,208
那是因為你的手臂細如麵條

119
00:05:52,083 --> 00:05:53,291
好爽！

120
00:05:53,375 --> 00:05:56,375
地心引力，賞你擦不乾淨的屁屁

121
00:05:56,458 --> 00:05:58,125
至於杰？

122
00:05:58,208 --> 00:06:00,958
他的袖子裡可藏著結實大肌肉

123
00:06:01,041 --> 00:06:05,625
-確實如此
-現在要擦完屁屁囉

124
00:06:08,541 --> 00:06:10,041
謝謝，繩子小姐

125
00:06:11,083 --> 00:06:13,541
媽啊，杰，你怎麼變得這麼強壯？

126
00:06:13,625 --> 00:06:15,375
這是我努力的成果，老兄

127
00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:18,250
-我每天都在地下室磨練
-磨練？

128
00:06:18,333 --> 00:06:19,500
鍛鍊啦

129
00:06:19,583 --> 00:06:21,083
花了好幾個小時

130
00:06:21,166 --> 00:06:26,708
在我們班上的最佳身體上雕塑出腹肌

131
00:06:26,791 --> 00:06:28,541
你需要緊實的腹部

132
00:06:28,625 --> 00:06:29,458
沒錯

133
00:06:29,541 --> 00:06:31,291
杰，你能幫我雕塑身材嗎？

134
00:06:31,375 --> 00:06:34,041
幫你兄弟變壯？

135
00:06:34,125 --> 00:06:35,083
當然可以啦！

136
00:06:35,166 --> 00:06:37,833
把骨瘦如柴的你變成大金剛

137
00:06:37,916 --> 00:06:40,125
好耶，大金剛

138
00:06:40,875 --> 00:06:43,291
等你來聞我家健身房的味道

139
00:06:43,375 --> 00:06:46,500
想像一下雞湯有體味

140
00:06:48,833 --> 00:06:51,208
我回來了，媽啊

141
00:06:51,291 --> 00:06:54,333
-潔西，坐我旁邊吧
-不用了

142
00:06:54,416 --> 00:06:59,458
我就不打擾妳的餵奶時光了

143
00:06:59,541 --> 00:07:01,625
什麼？別這樣，坐下吧

144
00:07:01,708 --> 00:07:03,958
我只是在餵母乳，這是很自然的事

145
00:07:04,041 --> 00:07:06,250
我知道，抱歉

146
00:07:06,333 --> 00:07:07,666
對不起

147
00:07:07,750 --> 00:07:09,375
跟我聊聊妳今天過得如何吧

148
00:07:09,458 --> 00:07:11,041
好，今天啊

149
00:07:11,125 --> 00:07:14,291
安德魯在體育館告訴大家
他弄傷了陰莖

150
00:07:14,375 --> 00:07:16,625
安德魯就是那副德性

151
00:07:16,708 --> 00:07:17,833
是啊

152
00:07:17,916 --> 00:07:21,750
潔西，快瞧那對驚人的哺乳期乳房

153
00:07:21,833 --> 00:07:24,791
-不要，我不看
-又大又多汁

154
00:07:24,875 --> 00:07:27,666
但同時也硬到不行

155
00:07:27,750 --> 00:07:31,708
學校總有一天會開除安德魯，對吧？

156
00:07:31,791 --> 00:07:33,208
可不是嘛

157
00:07:33,291 --> 00:07:37,333
或是化學閹割他
當他這個人很不安全

158
00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:40,291
好吧，真的大得好驚人

159
00:07:40,375 --> 00:07:43,833
謝謝，真是奶水十足啊

160
00:07:43,916 --> 00:07:46,583
-但這跟性無關吧？
-無關

161
00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:48,541
也許一點點吧？

162
00:07:48,625 --> 00:07:52,333
畢竟裸露又好看，還近在咫尺

163
00:07:52,416 --> 00:07:54,708
不，這是科學相關的事

164
00:07:54,791 --> 00:07:56,625
只是乳房發揮正常作用罷了

165
00:07:56,708 --> 00:07:58,916
沒錯，對我來說很有用

166
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,625
妳懂挑眉的意思

167
00:08:00,708 --> 00:08:03,875
天啊，妳們敢信嗎？

168
00:08:03,958 --> 00:08:05,625
我相信！

169
00:08:05,708 --> 00:08:07,916
什麼？信什麼？

170
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,458
我的胸部從來沒這麼大過

171
00:08:09,541 --> 00:08:10,416
很誇張吧？

172
00:08:10,500 --> 00:08:12,208
真他媽誇張！

173
00:08:12,291 --> 00:08:13,750
妳的胸部很大嗎？

174
00:08:13,833 --> 00:08:15,375
我根本沒注意到

175
00:08:15,458 --> 00:08:16,791
好吧

176
00:08:16,875 --> 00:08:18,083
是這樣的

177
00:08:18,166 --> 00:08:19,541
我得開始寫功課了

178
00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:22,083
我馬上回奶

179
00:08:22,166 --> 00:08:23,291
掰掰，幹！

180
00:08:23,375 --> 00:08:24,541
我隨後就來，潔西

181
00:08:24,625 --> 00:08:29,458
我要盯著凱特琳的超讚大奶子

182
00:08:29,541 --> 00:08:31,958
為了科學目的，隨便啦

183
00:08:34,333 --> 00:08:36,291
加把勁，尼克，傾盡全力

184
00:08:36,375 --> 00:08:38,541
力氣大到能深掘出我爸敵人的骨骸

185
00:08:39,916 --> 00:08:42,541
我的手臂痛到有灼熱感，我好想哭

186
00:08:43,125 --> 00:08:46,041
兄弟，別把你的弱雞眼淚
滴在我的臥推器材上

187
00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:50,000
你行的，寶貝，痛不欲生之前都別停

188
00:08:53,458 --> 00:08:56,958
我的屁屁從這邊看好多汁喔

189
00:08:57,833 --> 00:08:58,875
好了，兄弟

190
00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:02,250
我的天啊
這是我這輩子最慘的五分鐘

191
00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:03,541
我知道現在感覺爛透了

192
00:09:03,625 --> 00:09:07,458
但如果堅持每天鍛鍊，體態就會變好

193
00:09:07,541 --> 00:09:08,916
-是嗎？
-鍛鍊個幾年吧

194
00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:10,416
什麼？要好幾年？

195
00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:12,791
抱歉，兄弟，但是不勤健身的話

196
00:09:12,875 --> 00:09:14,958
你就無法變成大金剛啦

197
00:09:15,041 --> 00:09:17,291
爛死了，我不想努力

198
00:09:17,375 --> 00:09:19,208
一定有捷徑可走

199
00:09:19,291 --> 00:09:20,791
你想抄捷徑啊？

200
00:09:20,875 --> 00:09:22,375
好，不必多說了

201
00:09:22,458 --> 00:09:25,125
-我知道你需要什麼了
-謝天謝地

202
00:09:25,208 --> 00:09:27,041
尼克，你可以拒絕的

203
00:09:27,125 --> 00:09:29,916
但你能不能抹奶油在我頭上

204
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:32,416
然後把我的頭從屁股塞回去？

205
00:09:35,666 --> 00:09:39,083
鄉村音樂獎頒獎典禮
要開始了，很酷吧？

206
00:09:39,166 --> 00:09:42,000
快速問一下，我們有幾週沒自慰了？

207
00:09:42,083 --> 00:09:43,291
連一天都不到耶

208
00:09:43,375 --> 00:09:45,000
我完了，上帝已死

209
00:09:45,083 --> 00:09:47,500
可不是嘛，我一定辦不到

210
00:09:47,583 --> 00:09:50,250
你當然辦不到，你知道為什麼嗎？

211
00:09:50,333 --> 00:09:53,291
因為你上一次打手槍時，並沒有射

212
00:09:53,375 --> 00:09:55,583
沒錯，我沒有好好完事

213
00:09:55,666 --> 00:09:57,083
你需要做個了結，老兄

214
00:09:57,166 --> 00:09:59,958
好的，所以你的意思是

215
00:10:00,041 --> 00:10:03,958
雖然有醫生囑咐，跟照了一堆X光照

216
00:10:04,041 --> 00:10:06,833
但我還是應該打最後一次手槍
好好爽一下

217
00:10:06,916 --> 00:10:10,708
沒錯，最後撸一次管

218
00:10:10,791 --> 00:10:13,500
你都這麼說了，我豈能拒絕？

219
00:10:13,583 --> 00:10:16,208
上路前最後爽一發

220
00:10:16,291 --> 00:10:18,666
-我贊同，你不必再說了
-好的

221
00:10:18,750 --> 00:10:22,208
好吧，我覺得有點刺痛

222
00:10:22,291 --> 00:10:23,625
我先提醒一句

223
00:10:23,708 --> 00:10:25,041
這不太舒服

224
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:26,875
其實會痛耶

225
00:10:26,958 --> 00:10:29,666
熬過痛苦的感覺，安迪
我對你有信心

226
00:10:30,500 --> 00:10:32,500
靠，勃起的時候更痛耶

227
00:10:32,583 --> 00:10:33,666
想點色色的東西

228
00:10:33,750 --> 00:10:38,041
比如黛西鴨跟性感大牙打枕頭仗？

229
00:10:38,125 --> 00:10:41,291
天啊，痛到了無生趣

230
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:43,583
幹，痛死了！

231
00:10:43,666 --> 00:10:45,583
太好了，你辦到了，安德魯

232
00:10:45,666 --> 00:10:48,083
你意志堅定，我很以你為榮

233
00:10:49,041 --> 00:10:50,416
我射出血來了

234
00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:52,833
好噁喔，像草莓混鮮奶油

235
00:10:52,916 --> 00:10:54,583
現在更痛了

236
00:10:54,666 --> 00:10:56,416
抱歉，兄弟

237
00:10:56,500 --> 00:10:58,708
這搞不好是我害的

238
00:10:59,708 --> 00:11:01,958
我的蛋蛋有心跳

239
00:11:04,208 --> 00:11:05,333
到底在哪裡？

240
00:11:05,416 --> 00:11:07,291
加熱爛鞦韆

241
00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:08,791
給狗喝的威士忌

242
00:11:08,875 --> 00:11:10,666
我的小紋身槍

243
00:11:10,750 --> 00:11:14,625
你爸涉及了很多危險產品耶

244
00:11:14,708 --> 00:11:15,833
靠，拿去吧

245
00:11:15,916 --> 00:11:17,000
“充肌丸”

246
00:11:17,083 --> 00:11:20,125
“可咀嚼的類固醇
幫助生活中的小弱雞”

247
00:11:20,208 --> 00:11:22,583
跟做棉花糖白蘭地是同一批人

248
00:11:22,666 --> 00:11:23,875
我在牢裡見過他們一次

249
00:11:23,958 --> 00:11:27,541
“合成荷爾蒙
安非他命和高果糖玉米糖漿

250
00:11:27,625 --> 00:11:31,041
混合碰撞出新滋味”？

251
00:11:31,125 --> 00:11:34,000
是小孩子做給小孩子吃的
合成代謝類固醇

252
00:11:34,083 --> 00:11:35,333
就是所謂的FKBK，尼克

253
00:11:35,416 --> 00:11:37,125
我不確定，杰，這玩意兒安全嗎？

254
00:11:37,208 --> 00:11:41,958
好啦，確實被召回過
但都是些繁文縟節的緣故

255
00:11:42,041 --> 00:11:43,875
“死了幾個孩子”之類的

256
00:11:43,958 --> 00:11:45,333
-這可不行
-但是，尼克

257
00:11:45,416 --> 00:11:48,041
那些小孩過世時都肌肉發達

258
00:11:48,125 --> 00:11:49,958
-真的嗎？
-都可以捶爆棺材了

259
00:11:50,041 --> 00:11:52,375
-我確實想把肌肉鍛鍊線條分明
-吃吧，尼克

260
00:11:52,458 --> 00:11:55,000
類固醇只是幹勁十足的猛藥

261
00:11:55,083 --> 00:11:56,916
好吧，我要吃了

262
00:11:58,250 --> 00:11:59,958
吃起來有汽油味？

263
00:12:00,041 --> 00:12:01,666
對，確實會那樣

264
00:12:01,750 --> 00:12:04,250
盒子上寫著：“可能會產生易燃便便”

265
00:12:06,416 --> 00:12:07,916
-潔西？
-康妮，拜託

266
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,375
-快看那些大咪咪
-幹

267
00:12:10,458 --> 00:12:12,291
成熟到快爆開

268
00:12:12,375 --> 00:12:13,958
堅硬爆青筋

269
00:12:14,041 --> 00:12:15,916
又重又軟

270
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,625
而且親愛的，別忘了

271
00:12:18,708 --> 00:12:20,333
好大

272
00:12:20,416 --> 00:12:22,583
好軟

273
00:12:22,666 --> 00:12:24,375
好溫暖

274
00:12:24,458 --> 00:12:27,083
天啊，那是乳頭嗎？

275
00:12:29,333 --> 00:12:31,458
妳知道妳想幹嘛，寶貝

276
00:12:31,541 --> 00:12:33,000
我不能那麼做

277
00:12:33,083 --> 00:12:35,541
來吧，親愛的，噴灑乳汁吧

278
00:12:36,375 --> 00:12:37,375
好吧

279
00:12:37,458 --> 00:12:39,166
爽啦！

280
00:12:39,250 --> 00:12:41,000
多壯觀啊

281
00:12:41,083 --> 00:12:42,416
奶子就是奇蹟

282
00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:45,875
這再正常不過了

283
00:12:46,375 --> 00:12:47,500
潔西？

284
00:12:47,583 --> 00:12:49,416
我沒有看妳喔

285
00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:50,916
好吧？

286
00:12:51,500 --> 00:12:55,000
如果這麼問很奇怪，我很抱歉
但當乳汁流出來的時候

287
00:12:55,083 --> 00:12:56,958
是大噴發有如置身於天堂，還是…

288
00:12:57,833 --> 00:13:00,500
其實不算是，比較像是…

289
00:13:00,583 --> 00:13:03,875
德萊拉好像喝飽了，我先去哄她睡覺

290
00:13:03,958 --> 00:13:04,916
天啊

291
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:06,291
我懂

292
00:13:06,375 --> 00:13:10,041
那真是個超讚的乳房白日夢

293
00:13:10,125 --> 00:13:13,291
不對，那是很糟糕、怪異的白日夢

294
00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:14,458
真希望能洗腦忘掉

295
00:13:14,541 --> 00:13:17,458
我希望凱特琳的乳房是電視頻道

296
00:13:17,541 --> 00:13:19,250
這樣我就可以看個不停

297
00:13:19,333 --> 00:13:22,708
就叫做吸奶奶電視台，簡稱吸奶台

298
00:13:22,791 --> 00:13:25,125
我的天啊，拜託別說了

299
00:13:27,333 --> 00:13:29,083
瑞克，你在幹嘛？

300
00:13:29,166 --> 00:13:30,750
我氣得睡不著

301
00:13:30,833 --> 00:13:31,666
對，我也是

302
00:13:31,750 --> 00:13:34,791
充肌丸好像發揮效用了

303
00:13:34,875 --> 00:13:35,750
可不是嘛

304
00:13:35,833 --> 00:13:38,458
該來毀天滅地了，寶貝！

305
00:13:38,541 --> 00:13:39,583
我覺得超爽

306
00:13:39,666 --> 00:13:42,875
彷彿我能徒手掐死老虎一樣

307
00:13:42,958 --> 00:13:46,333
尼克和瑞克，我們就是要專殺大貓

308
00:13:46,416 --> 00:13:48,666
我要衝去學校

309
00:13:48,750 --> 00:13:51,958
走吧，寶貝，讓大家看看誰才是老大

310
00:13:52,041 --> 00:13:53,625
酷愛飲料小子！

311
00:13:53,708 --> 00:13:55,041
好爽！

312
00:13:55,125 --> 00:13:59,375
無論你們吃了什麼，都給我來雙倍

313
00:13:59,458 --> 00:14:03,166
我所有的勁歌金曲
都是嗑藥後寫出來的

314
00:14:04,458 --> 00:14:05,375
是這樣的，小莫

315
00:14:05,458 --> 00:14:07,875
終於幫我的雙手找到事情做了

316
00:14:07,958 --> 00:14:09,916
而不是我愛的自慰

317
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:14,541
是啦，拼圖跟全身高潮的爽感
一樣令人滿足呢

318
00:14:14,625 --> 00:14:16,416
怎麼沒有白色的拼圖碎片了？

319
00:14:16,500 --> 00:14:19,500
白雲中間還有缺
絕對還有更多白色拼圖碎片

320
00:14:19,583 --> 00:14:21,958
-你知道還有什麼是白色的嗎？
-小莫，拜託

321
00:14:22,041 --> 00:14:24,583
-有時候還會摻雜紅色
-我受傷了！

322
00:14:24,666 --> 00:14:25,791
好吧，是我不好

323
00:14:25,875 --> 00:14:29,041
只是這些連綿起伏的山丘看起來像…

324
00:14:29,125 --> 00:14:31,083
誘人翹臀？巨乳？

325
00:14:31,166 --> 00:14:34,250
懷孕婦女躺著腿張開開？

326
00:14:34,333 --> 00:14:35,583
對！就像那樣

327
00:14:35,666 --> 00:14:38,250
你以為我不知道嗎？你這個獸控怪

328
00:14:38,333 --> 00:14:40,250
-我有眼睛
-安德魯，親愛的

329
00:14:40,333 --> 00:14:41,958
我要去買菜

330
00:14:42,041 --> 00:14:43,541
很好，我要跟妳一起去

331
00:14:43,625 --> 00:14:44,541
-什麼？
-是嗎？

332
00:14:44,625 --> 00:14:46,541
對，我想多花時間陪妳

333
00:14:46,625 --> 00:14:49,083
-好吧
-好極了，我馬上就來

334
00:14:49,166 --> 00:14:50,291
搞屁啊？

335
00:14:50,375 --> 00:14:53,541
我得遠離你和這個淫蕩拼圖

336
00:14:53,625 --> 00:14:56,041
-拜託喔
-我要跟媽咪去買東西

337
00:14:56,125 --> 00:14:59,708
上帝做我的見證，我會一直軟趴趴

338
00:15:00,208 --> 00:15:01,125
（拼寫需要檢查）

339
00:15:03,708 --> 00:15:05,666
-我靠屁屁吸金的耶
-你出局了，拉普

340
00:15:05,750 --> 00:15:08,958
誰還想嘗嘗我的威力？
我絕對給他好看

341
00:15:09,041 --> 00:15:10,375
這是第二節課

342
00:15:10,458 --> 00:15:12,375
可不可以不要尖叫了
艾力克斯瓊斯？

343
00:15:12,458 --> 00:15:13,875
坐下，賤人！

344
00:15:14,458 --> 00:15:17,000
混蛋，我這張臉是要上鏡頭的耶

345
00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:20,583
你出局了，尼克，不能擊中胸部上方

346
00:15:20,666 --> 00:15:22,500
揍爆這個愛管閒事的鬍子男

347
00:15:22,583 --> 00:15:24,416
我不能出局，史提夫教練

348
00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:26,625
我要躲避“球”，死笨蛋

349
00:15:26,708 --> 00:15:28,208
抱歉，躲避球

350
00:15:28,291 --> 00:15:31,375
-你今天是有什麼毛病？
-也許是你有毛病，馬修

351
00:15:31,458 --> 00:15:33,458
要去停車場解決恩怨嗎？

352
00:15:33,541 --> 00:15:36,000
停車場？
幹嘛，這是《火爆浪子：現場》嗎？

353
00:15:36,083 --> 00:15:38,375
嗚哇巴巴嚕巴巴，嗚哇去你的

354
00:15:38,458 --> 00:15:40,333
隨便啦，只是躲避球罷了

355
00:15:40,416 --> 00:15:42,625
看到了嗎？他無話可說

356
00:15:42,708 --> 00:15:44,250
因為他知道我是瘋子

357
00:15:44,333 --> 00:15:46,083
腦子瘋得誇張，寶貝

358
00:15:46,166 --> 00:15:48,750
尼克，也許你該冷靜點

359
00:15:48,833 --> 00:15:50,791
恕我直言，米希，去妳的

360
00:15:50,875 --> 00:15:53,333
我們才不要冷靜，我們只要增肌

361
00:15:53,416 --> 00:15:56,250
杰，你必須幫我弄來更多
那些小孩子類固醇“”

362
00:15:56,333 --> 00:15:57,500
我不確定耶，老兄

363
00:15:57,583 --> 00:15:59,583
也許你需要冷靜一下

364
00:15:59,666 --> 00:16:02,000
“也許你需要冷靜一下”？

365
00:16:02,083 --> 00:16:05,041
尼克，那酷斃了

366
00:16:05,125 --> 00:16:07,958
天啊，幾乎沒有紅蔥了

367
00:16:08,041 --> 00:16:11,791
-是因為新冠病毒嗎？
-真是好話題呢，超不性感的

368
00:16:11,875 --> 00:16:14,625
天啊，看看這些熟透的番茄

369
00:16:14,708 --> 00:16:18,708
-媽啊，不，不要是熟透的番茄
-飽滿得好誇張

370
00:16:18,791 --> 00:16:22,041
而且也不是假貨，純天然

371
00:16:22,125 --> 00:16:25,125
裡面還濕透了

372
00:16:25,208 --> 00:16:27,375
小莫！你當然會在農產品走道

373
00:16:27,458 --> 00:16:29,958
這裡充滿了原始魅力

374
00:16:30,041 --> 00:16:32,000
沒錯，寶貝

375
00:16:32,083 --> 00:16:33,666
桃子是屁屁

376
00:16:33,750 --> 00:16:35,333
西瓜是奶子

377
00:16:35,416 --> 00:16:38,083
糟糕，濕氣來囉

378
00:16:38,166 --> 00:16:40,875
-嘿
-把我幹成醬

379
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:43,666
不行，想想不性感的東西

380
00:16:43,750 --> 00:16:46,625
核戰、踩到狗屎

381
00:16:46,708 --> 00:16:48,458
《這就是我們》的卡司

382
00:16:49,666 --> 00:16:53,250
好爽，把你的棒棒放進我的洞洞

383
00:16:53,333 --> 00:16:55,208
小莫，你為什麼要這樣對我？

384
00:16:55,291 --> 00:16:59,416
因為你需要打手槍，你上癮了

385
00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:00,958
我知道，但為什麼？

386
00:17:01,041 --> 00:17:04,000
因為你爸爸不愛你

387
00:17:04,083 --> 00:17:05,333
我覺得他甚至不喜歡我

388
00:17:05,416 --> 00:17:10,541
快跑去員工廁所
跟自己的肉腸爽一下

389
00:17:10,625 --> 00:17:12,166
媽，我得去廁所

390
00:17:12,958 --> 00:17:15,375
到底在哪裡？你看這些箱子

391
00:17:16,041 --> 00:17:19,041
就在這冷冰冰的水泥地做吧

392
00:17:19,125 --> 00:17:21,041
靠近這骯髒的拖把水桶

393
00:17:21,125 --> 00:17:23,583
天啊！跌到低谷就是這樣嗎？

394
00:17:23,666 --> 00:17:25,708
我還能看到更低下的

395
00:17:25,791 --> 00:17:27,333
不，我辦不到

396
00:17:27,416 --> 00:17:29,250
想想我受傷的附睪

397
00:17:29,333 --> 00:17:33,166
但你必須做，安德魯
“優沛蕾”該補貨囉

398
00:17:33,250 --> 00:17:35,166
以醫學角度來說這很不應該

399
00:17:35,250 --> 00:17:37,666
草莓混鮮奶油，寶貝

400
00:17:37,750 --> 00:17:41,833
恐怕這次全會是草莓

401
00:17:41,916 --> 00:17:45,750
妳有沒有注意到每次寶寶吸一個乳房

402
00:17:45,833 --> 00:17:47,916
另一個乳房就會變大？

403
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,583
我當然注意到了，令人神魂顛倒

404
00:17:50,666 --> 00:17:52,250
小豆豆

405
00:17:52,333 --> 00:17:54,416
爸爸，凱特琳呢？

406
00:17:54,500 --> 00:17:55,708
她出門了

407
00:17:56,583 --> 00:17:58,875
她也帶走了誘人乳房嗎？

408
00:17:58,958 --> 00:18:03,125
其實我有件事情想跟妳談談

409
00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:05,791
-好
-他應該會開口要錢

410
00:18:05,875 --> 00:18:09,666
坦白說，我真的很不想這麼說…

411
00:18:09,750 --> 00:18:12,625
就直說你沒錢了
面對困境，勇往直前吧

412
00:18:12,708 --> 00:18:15,541
但凱特琳覺得妳…

413
00:18:16,666 --> 00:18:19,916
太過注意她的胸部了

414
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,208
-天啊
-她知道！

415
00:18:21,291 --> 00:18:22,791
這怎麼可能？

416
00:18:22,875 --> 00:18:24,500
我們一直很謹慎啊

417
00:18:24,583 --> 00:18:26,583
就是她在餵德萊拉的時候

418
00:18:26,666 --> 00:18:28,291
真的嗎？怪了

419
00:18:28,375 --> 00:18:31,250
我懂，因為我也很想盯著看

420
00:18:31,333 --> 00:18:32,916
康妮，這太折磨我了，殺了我吧

421
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:37,125
但我可以看，因為我是她的性伴侶

422
00:18:38,291 --> 00:18:42,916
我不喜歡聽妳爸說“性伴侶”

423
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:47,041
總之，如果妳能不再
盯著她看就太好了

424
00:18:47,125 --> 00:18:49,166
沒問題，爸爸，好的

425
00:18:49,250 --> 00:18:52,791
地板，開門帶我走

426
00:18:52,875 --> 00:18:53,958
謝謝！

427
00:18:54,041 --> 00:18:56,333
所以請不要盯著我女朋友的胸部了

428
00:18:56,416 --> 00:18:57,708
我不會的

429
00:18:57,791 --> 00:18:59,041
好，真糟糕的談話

430
00:18:59,125 --> 00:19:00,583
對，最糟糕的一次

431
00:19:01,166 --> 00:19:04,083
敬我父親西繆斯一杯

432
00:19:04,166 --> 00:19:08,083
我只希望他在全新退休社區住得愉快

433
00:19:08,166 --> 00:19:09,000
願他總是…

434
00:19:09,083 --> 00:19:12,000
老人在退休住所裡都在亂幹，天啊

435
00:19:12,083 --> 00:19:14,291
80歲以上的人都有梅毒，聽說了嗎？

436
00:19:14,375 --> 00:19:16,958
-尼克！
-去你們的，你們消息很不靈通

437
00:19:17,041 --> 00:19:18,916
你父親敬酒詞說到一半

438
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:22,708
我本來正要告訴你們
爺爺得了梅毒的事

439
00:19:22,791 --> 00:19:24,958
天啊，你們就是說個不停

440
00:19:25,041 --> 00:19:29,458
-閉嘴啦，艾略特
-夠了，年輕人，回房間去

441
00:19:29,541 --> 00:19:32,041
好啊，黛安，但我要帶走蛋白質

442
00:19:32,125 --> 00:19:33,625
我要增加肌肉量，變強壯

443
00:19:34,583 --> 00:19:38,250
別用你的骯髒中學手碰我們的食物

444
00:19:38,333 --> 00:19:40,458
把雞放下，醜八怪

445
00:19:40,541 --> 00:19:43,250
暫停，誰都不准那樣
跟躲避球先生說話

446
00:19:43,333 --> 00:19:44,708
揍扁賈德阿帕托

447
00:19:44,791 --> 00:19:46,166
你剛才對我說了什麼？

448
00:19:46,250 --> 00:19:49,916
把雞放下，醜八怪

449
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,583
我不是醜八卦，賈德，你才是

450
00:19:52,666 --> 00:19:55,750
沒錯，我不再忍受你的無禮了…

451
00:19:55,833 --> 00:19:58,583
-靠！
-兄弟相殘

452
00:19:58,666 --> 00:20:00,541
賈德！謝謝

453
00:20:01,291 --> 00:20:04,291
媽媽，有需要就來房間找我

454
00:20:05,666 --> 00:20:07,875
真是的，搞屁啊？

455
00:20:07,958 --> 00:20:09,708
來坐吧，安德魯

456
00:20:09,791 --> 00:20:11,208
好，我懂了

457
00:20:11,291 --> 00:20:13,666
你們是來告訴我，我有多噁心

458
00:20:13,750 --> 00:20:15,125
某種程度來說是的

459
00:20:15,208 --> 00:20:18,750
而且我剛才毀掉的廁所
是薪水過低的員工使用的

460
00:20:18,833 --> 00:20:20,750
安德魯，我們很擔心你

461
00:20:20,833 --> 00:20:24,541
聽著，無論如何我都很感激

462
00:20:24,625 --> 00:20:26,708
這是干預射精

463
00:20:26,791 --> 00:20:28,291
出於關心所以阻止你射精

464
00:20:28,375 --> 00:20:31,666
拜託
別浪費時間在我身上了，可以嗎？

465
00:20:31,750 --> 00:20:32,833
小莫說得對

466
00:20:32,916 --> 00:20:37,125
我是一隻噁心的射精牛
亂噴草莓牛奶

467
00:20:37,208 --> 00:20:39,041
安德魯，不

468
00:20:39,125 --> 00:20:41,333
你不光只有自慰行為

469
00:20:41,416 --> 00:20:43,291
你的內在世界很豐富

470
00:20:43,375 --> 00:20:44,708
在你離開之前

471
00:20:44,791 --> 00:20:47,958
這裡有人有話跟你說

472
00:20:48,041 --> 00:20:50,208
一根被輾過的筆管麵？

473
00:20:50,291 --> 00:20:52,208
不，安德魯，我是你的附睪

474
00:20:52,291 --> 00:20:55,083
天啊，對不起，我沒認出來

475
00:20:55,166 --> 00:20:57,708
沒關係，我通常都在你的陰囊裡

476
00:20:57,791 --> 00:20:58,625
這樣啊

477
00:20:59,708 --> 00:21:01,375
我的附睪，你還好吧？

478
00:21:01,458 --> 00:21:04,458
我不好，所以我才寫信給你

479
00:21:04,541 --> 00:21:07,083
不要哭啦，這樣會害我想哭

480
00:21:07,166 --> 00:21:08,125
“親愛的安德魯

481
00:21:08,208 --> 00:21:10,625
我們一起度過了好多美好時光

482
00:21:10,708 --> 00:21:12,375
用滿滿精液佈置你家”

483
00:21:12,458 --> 00:21:13,375
真的是這樣

484
00:21:13,458 --> 00:21:15,541
“但自從那次意外之後
我一直很痛苦”

485
00:21:15,625 --> 00:21:18,250
-天啊
-“我覺得你不在乎我”

486
00:21:18,333 --> 00:21:20,250
才不是那樣

487
00:21:20,333 --> 00:21:22,208
我只是壓力很大又害怕

488
00:21:22,291 --> 00:21:25,166
我沒有別的紓壓管道了

489
00:21:25,250 --> 00:21:28,500
-因為他爸不愛他
-這我很清楚

490
00:21:28,583 --> 00:21:30,541
“我不是說這會很容易，安德魯

491
00:21:30,625 --> 00:21:33,375
但如果你不聽醫生的話，那我很抱歉

492
00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:36,000
我將不會再幫你產出精液了”

493
00:21:36,083 --> 00:21:38,083
-你不會這樣對我的
-我別無選擇！

494
00:21:38,166 --> 00:21:39,375
對不起

495
00:21:39,458 --> 00:21:40,833
我們都愛你，安德魯

496
00:21:40,916 --> 00:21:43,083
我們只希望你過得好

497
00:21:43,166 --> 00:21:46,000
好，我會聽醫生的話

498
00:21:46,750 --> 00:21:49,500
我會為了眼前這些人乖乖聽話

499
00:21:49,583 --> 00:21:52,333
不，安德魯，為了你自己吧

500
00:21:52,416 --> 00:21:54,875
我會試試看

501
00:21:54,958 --> 00:21:59,375
好了，來吧，大家來抱一個

502
00:21:59,458 --> 00:22:00,750
抱歉，我遲到了

503
00:22:00,833 --> 00:22:03,291
我是安德魯的左邊蛋蛋
我被拉鍊夾住了

504
00:22:03,375 --> 00:22:06,500
你可以滾出去了
反正他已經有突破性進展了

505
00:22:06,583 --> 00:22:09,166
那我這封信白寫了，好極了呢

506
00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:15,333
妳真的很餓

507
00:22:15,416 --> 00:22:16,500
-嘿
-妳知道嗎？

508
00:22:16,583 --> 00:22:19,625
-我稍微遮一下…
-很合理

509
00:22:19,708 --> 00:22:21,625
不，妳知道嗎？實在是…

510
00:22:21,708 --> 00:22:23,083
妳什麼都不必說

511
00:22:23,166 --> 00:22:26,458
一直盯著我看實在是…抱歉

512
00:22:26,541 --> 00:22:28,791
不，該道歉的人是我

513
00:22:28,875 --> 00:22:30,458
我可不覺得抱歉

514
00:22:30,541 --> 00:22:33,666
我很尊敬乳房的，也很引以為傲

515
00:22:34,375 --> 00:22:38,875
我會回房間寫功課
直到德萊拉長大…

516
00:22:39,500 --> 00:22:42,541
我會想念凱特琳的大奶子

517
00:22:43,291 --> 00:22:44,291
我也是

518
00:22:44,375 --> 00:22:48,333
但她理應
在不被怪胎盯著的情況下餵哺母乳

519
00:22:48,416 --> 00:22:49,416
應該吧

520
00:22:50,041 --> 00:22:51,666
我覺得自己像安德魯

521
00:22:51,750 --> 00:22:54,375
妳不准說這種話

522
00:22:54,458 --> 00:22:55,500
抱歉，爸爸

523
00:22:55,583 --> 00:22:58,958
我早該知道吃杰車庫裡的東西很蠢

524
00:22:59,041 --> 00:23:00,750
我只希望你能從中學到教訓

525
00:23:00,833 --> 00:23:03,708
因為膽固醇
會造成血栓和肝功能衰竭

526
00:23:03,791 --> 00:23:05,583
更別提讓睪丸變小了

527
00:23:05,666 --> 00:23:08,625
沒錯，看看我這根小辣椒

528
00:23:08,708 --> 00:23:10,375
好萌喔

529
00:23:10,458 --> 00:23:13,375
我知道類固醇是出了名的壞東西

530
00:23:13,458 --> 00:23:15,291
只是我這麼弱小真的很慘

531
00:23:15,375 --> 00:23:17,208
我也比較晚發育

532
00:23:17,291 --> 00:23:21,208
但我很有耐心
現在我每一個部位都是正常尺寸

533
00:23:21,291 --> 00:23:23,083
-除了…
-你的陰莖，我知道

534
00:23:23,166 --> 00:23:27,375
但你用“爽翻天的舔舔技巧”彌補了

535
00:23:27,458 --> 00:23:31,666
你不需要類固醇
也可以擁有飢渴且好奇的舌頭

536
00:23:32,416 --> 00:23:33,250
謝了，爸爸

537
00:23:33,333 --> 00:23:35,708
這真是太感人了

538
00:23:35,791 --> 00:23:38,708
就像你爸把舌頭伸入你媽體內一樣

539
00:23:40,041 --> 00:23:41,500
（只是功課和棒球卡）

540
00:23:41,583 --> 00:23:43,708
我收到你傳的訊息了
在你開口說明情況之前

541
00:23:43,791 --> 00:23:46,041
我只是在想懷孕的黛西鴨

542
00:23:46,125 --> 00:23:49,000
如果你跟她一起困在銀行大廳呢？

543
00:23:49,083 --> 00:23:50,708
那好像是《六人行》的其中一集

544
00:23:50,791 --> 00:23:51,708
你認真的嗎？

545
00:23:51,791 --> 00:23:54,625
天啊，等我跟史威默說一下

546
00:23:54,708 --> 00:23:58,625
聽著，我暫時不想要
想到懷孕的黛西鴨

547
00:23:58,708 --> 00:24:00,958
那是怎樣，只想著懷孕的人類？

548
00:24:01,041 --> 00:24:03,791
不，跟性無關的事，好嗎？

549
00:24:03,875 --> 00:24:07,375
我可愛的附睪在接下來三週都得養傷

550
00:24:07,458 --> 00:24:09,041
所以我必須設立界線

551
00:24:09,916 --> 00:24:12,208
什麼？你幹嘛小題大作？

552
00:24:12,291 --> 00:24:16,000
因為我不光是一個噁心的射精牛

553
00:24:16,083 --> 00:24:17,583
我的內在世界很豐富

554
00:24:17,666 --> 00:24:20,125
你現在聽起來很瘋狂，知道嗎？

555
00:24:20,208 --> 00:24:21,166
我們是好搭檔

556
00:24:21,250 --> 00:24:23,458
你打手槍
我負責說：“打手槍打得真爽”

557
00:24:23,541 --> 00:24:26,000
不再是了，小莫，你走吧

558
00:24:26,083 --> 00:24:29,166
你是認真的，對吧？

559
00:24:29,250 --> 00:24:32,125
我認真到不行，兄弟

560
00:24:32,208 --> 00:24:36,500
好，我會走，但鄭重聲明一句

561
00:24:36,583 --> 00:24:38,958
這是你的損失，安德魯

562
00:24:39,041 --> 00:24:40,166
因為我真的…

563
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:42,791
無與倫比的酷

564
00:24:42,875 --> 00:24:44,041
再見，小莫

565
00:24:44,125 --> 00:24:48,458
好吧，看來等你不射血時再見了

566
00:24:49,291 --> 00:24:50,125
好

567
00:25:36,666 --> 00:25:38,125
字幕翻譯：許晨翎