1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,000 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 2 00:00:30,906 --> 00:00:32,783 - Oh, hey. - Hello. 3 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:36,119 Oh, is that... ? Going to take care of it. 4 00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:44,503 I need this so bad. 5 00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:46,672 You don't know how far I came. 6 00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:48,924 If I can close my eyes, I can... 7 00:00:49,007 --> 00:00:50,759 Oh, really? 8 00:00:50,842 --> 00:00:53,804 Yeah, honey. Yeah, honey... yeah... 9 00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:58,183 Oh, we fucking came together. 10 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,610 And that's pretty much how it happened. 11 00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:12,114 So, life started because a giant alien had sex with the Earth? 12 00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:14,366 I don't know. That sounds like Scientology. 13 00:01:14,449 --> 00:01:16,660 Yup, of everyone they got the closest. 14 00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:53,697 As you know, the science fair next week is a chance to embrace 15 00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,699 the true spirit of experimentation. 16 00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,951 - Science fair buddies again? - You want an A. 17 00:01:58,035 --> 00:02:00,787 - I'm fine with a C. - And we'll end up with a B. 18 00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:02,289 What... what's this? What are we doing now? 19 00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:03,999 - We're doing a fist bump. - Ah. 20 00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:05,390 Because the football program 21 00:02:05,391 --> 00:02:07,419 has taken part of our budget for legal fees, 22 00:02:07,502 --> 00:02:09,504 this year we'll be breaking up into teams of three. 23 00:02:14,259 --> 00:02:16,970 Devin is mine! 24 00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:21,808 Guys, over here! 25 00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:23,560 I don't think we can work with Jessi. 26 00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:26,063 Yeah, it will be impossible to spend all that time with her 27 00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,439 and not tell her what we saw. 28 00:02:27,522 --> 00:02:30,233 That we saw her mom lez out with another woman? 29 00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:32,527 I put it in our spank bank. It's all digital now. 30 00:02:33,111 --> 00:02:35,155 Hand down. You're with me, Glazer. 31 00:02:35,238 --> 00:02:37,282 We just need a third. Like an idiot to make fun of. 32 00:02:37,366 --> 00:02:40,202 Okay. So, who were you thinking? Ooh, the Go-Gurt burglar? 33 00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:44,081 No, his geisha giggle weirds me out. 34 00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:47,209 I was thinking... male Frida. 35 00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:49,961 - Andrew! Nick! Guys, over here! - Oh, Jay? 36 00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:52,422 - Oh, I don't know. - He's perfect. 37 00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:55,008 He's ridiculous, and he's kind of cute, right? 38 00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:56,968 - Eww. No. - Oh, come on. 39 00:02:57,052 --> 00:03:00,430 He's like a sexy Neanderthal. Jay! Get over here! 40 00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:02,766 - You're on our team. - Fuck yes! Ha ha! 41 00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:06,019 Chosen! Hey, Nick, Andrew, I'm joining Matthew's team. 42 00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:08,647 We're gonna bury you fags. 43 00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:09,815 That's what I'm talking about. 44 00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:12,275 Oh, shit, Jessi and Jay are both taken. 45 00:03:12,279 --> 00:03:13,269 Oh. 46 00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:14,903 That's it, Missy. She's really smart. 47 00:03:14,986 --> 00:03:17,280 - Missy, do you want to be our partner? - Whoa! Really? 48 00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:19,908 - Oh, yeah, I like that. - I can't work with Missy. 49 00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:23,870 Come on, do a little work, kissy-kissy, ride her aboard, humpy-humpy. 50 00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:26,373 No, no, no, no! She makes me very nervous. 51 00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:29,918 I get all dizzy, and I don't know if I'm gonna barf or cum in my pants. 52 00:03:30,001 --> 00:03:31,670 Either way, it's sweet release. 53 00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:33,588 - Hi, Andrew. - Hi, Missy. I want... 54 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,008 - Welcome to the team. - Thanks. 55 00:03:37,092 --> 00:03:38,218 I really can't wait to... 56 00:03:39,428 --> 00:03:40,929 Oh. That was a little vomit, 57 00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:44,307 and I think it happened because I am truly excited 58 00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:47,811 to join you in this odyssey of inquiry and exploration. 59 00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:50,772 Stay away from Devin. 60 00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:55,253 Anyway, as far as water coolers go, 61 00:03:55,254 --> 00:03:56,987 you see that new Seinfeld yesterday? 62 00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:58,697 That show has been off the air for years. 63 00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:02,492 Yeah, well, there was a new one on WGN last night. 64 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:06,538 Kramer, you know, the cool one, he ordered a coffee that was so hot, 65 00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:08,542 he's gonna sue the place, you know, 66 00:04:08,543 --> 00:04:10,167 which I thought was extreme, but... 67 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:11,835 Yeah, uh, okay. 68 00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:14,921 Anyway, speaking of coffee, I'm a Sanka man. 69 00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:16,214 I'm a Keurig lady. 70 00:04:16,298 --> 00:04:19,176 Whoa! Is there banter happening here? 71 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,845 Miss Benitez weighs in with the Keurig. 72 00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:23,388 That's a tough word to say. 73 00:04:23,472 --> 00:04:25,223 Well, you could just say K-cups. 74 00:04:25,307 --> 00:04:29,978 Uh-oh! She said it again! Saying stuff directly to me! K-cups! 75 00:04:30,061 --> 00:04:33,440 That's for Keur... Keurig. Courage. 76 00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:35,066 You give me courage. 77 00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:36,735 Oh, thanks, Steve. 78 00:04:36,818 --> 00:04:39,112 I'm looking for some help with the science fair. 79 00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:41,698 Okay, I'll do it, AKA sign me up, 80 00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:45,702 AKA I am not able to sign myself up, AKA I cannot read. 81 00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:47,412 Well, maybe I can help you with that. 82 00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:49,206 Well, that would be... 83 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,540 Are you okay, Steve? 84 00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:54,920 Am I okay? Nobody has ever asked me that before. 85 00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:56,604 You know what? Spoiler alert, 86 00:04:56,605 --> 00:04:58,799 I am gonna help you with that science fair, 87 00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:00,509 but it's not gonna be "science fair." 88 00:05:00,592 --> 00:05:03,970 Spoiler alert, it's gonna be "science awesome." 89 00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:05,430 That's so funny, Steve. 90 00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:09,184 Sorry about that. That's the Sanka coming back up. 91 00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:11,436 You're the man, Steve. 92 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:14,439 No, you're the man, my Hormone Monster dude. 93 00:05:14,523 --> 00:05:16,775 Are you gonna eat that vomit? 94 00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:19,609 Okay. For our project, 95 00:05:19,610 --> 00:05:21,947 I'm thinking we do the science of three pointers. 96 00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:24,449 Andrew and I will shoot hoops, and, Missy, you can do the math. 97 00:05:24,533 --> 00:05:28,370 Oh, boy, look at her going to town on that hummus and celery. 98 00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:29,579 Two can play at that game. 99 00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:33,416 Suck down a couple of those loose scallops that Daddy packed for you. 100 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:36,044 No, gross. I will not eat in front of her. 101 00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:39,339 - It's too embarrassing. - May I propose a project? 102 00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:41,967 What if we made a model of the Yellowstone Caldera? 103 00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:43,868 It's a super volcano, and when it blows, 104 00:05:43,869 --> 00:05:45,554 the ash cloud will destroy farmland, 105 00:05:45,637 --> 00:05:48,390 - clog rivers and suffocate entire cities. - That sounds devastating. 106 00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:50,141 I'll send you some really troubling links. 107 00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:52,102 I'd like that. I'd like that very much. 108 00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:54,145 Okay, we've got two solid options, 109 00:05:54,229 --> 00:05:56,481 super volcano or shooting threes. 110 00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:58,400 Those in favor of super volcano? 111 00:05:58,483 --> 00:06:00,777 - Uh, I'm sorry. - Okay. 112 00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:03,697 Two betas beat one alpha, good to know. 113 00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:05,368 All right, dum-dums, 114 00:06:05,369 --> 00:06:07,867 I don't even know if you can handle the idea that I've got. 115 00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:10,495 Jessi, can we handle it? 116 00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:13,415 I'm wearing a second pair of underwear. Let's do this. 117 00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:16,376 Good call, 'cause I'm about to shit your pants. 118 00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:20,380 Our project is about the magic of teleportation. 119 00:06:21,256 --> 00:06:24,843 First off, confusing science and magic... mmwah! 120 00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:26,803 But we have a big problem. 121 00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:29,514 Jessi and I are too scared to lead the presentation. 122 00:06:29,598 --> 00:06:32,058 I could do it. I could do it. Jay will do it. 123 00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:33,685 Oh, thank goodness. 124 00:06:33,768 --> 00:06:35,196 And I was thinking we should just wear, like, 125 00:06:35,197 --> 00:06:36,730 our regular boring clothes, right? 126 00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:39,274 Oh, my God. What are you, crazy? 127 00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:42,444 Matthew and I will be wearing matching vests and shiny shirts. 128 00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:45,697 And Jessi will be wearing a tight little skirt... ooh. 129 00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:47,426 Unless you wanna wear the skirt, Matthew, 130 00:06:47,427 --> 00:06:49,326 but I think gay and trans are different? 131 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:52,537 No, no, they are the same and you should tell people that. 132 00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:54,122 - I will. - This is fun. 133 00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:56,708 But if we don't have an actual project, we're gonna get an F. 134 00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:59,586 Oh, Marnie. Shout-out to Girls. 135 00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:02,589 Relax, our project is right in front of us. 136 00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:05,091 We're gonna make a science documentary. 137 00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:07,093 The Delusion of Illusion: 138 00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:10,096 The Lonely World of a Child Magician. 139 00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:13,391 So, you and Missy, huh? 140 00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:15,268 What about me and Missy? 141 00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:17,604 Ah, come on, you wanna slam-dunk her pussy. 142 00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:20,106 - Jesus. - Come on, Andrew. You obviously like her. 143 00:07:20,190 --> 00:07:21,733 I don't like her. I just... 144 00:07:21,816 --> 00:07:24,778 I just think about her all the time and my ears get hot... 145 00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:28,239 Yeah, and your dick gets hot too. Oh, maybe it's got a fever. 146 00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:30,241 Stick a thermometer in its little mouth. 147 00:07:30,325 --> 00:07:32,035 Ugh! That sounds so painful. 148 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,453 You like her. You should ask her out. 149 00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:36,289 I'm definitely not doing that. What if she says no? 150 00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:37,457 Dude, she'll say yes. 151 00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:41,169 That's even worse, Nick, 'cause then we'll date, 152 00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:43,755 and I'll tell her all my secrets, and then we'll break up, 153 00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:45,674 and she'll tell everyone else my secrets, 154 00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:46,925 and then the whole school will know 155 00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:48,969 about these milk baths my mom gives me for eczema. 156 00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:51,137 - Andrew, may I be blunt? - But, of course. 157 00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:53,974 Opportunities like this might be somewhat rare for you. 158 00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:56,267 What are you saying? That most of the time I'm gonna like girls 159 00:07:56,351 --> 00:07:58,895 and they won't like me back so I should seize this opportunity? 160 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,231 - Yeah, that makes sense. - Yes, Andrew, seize the day, 161 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,774 and here's how you're gonna do it. 162 00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:05,902 Okay. So here's the key. Missy is at the baseline. 163 00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:08,196 You're gonna pass it down to her. That's asking her out. 164 00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:10,323 She's gonna do a spin move. That's her saying yes, 165 00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:13,368 - and then that's a dick. - Wow, I didn't see that coming. 166 00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:15,787 Oh, you wanna see it coming? Yeah, give me a sec. 167 00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:23,244 Huh? 168 00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,964 Andrew, what are you doing here? 169 00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:28,383 - It's nearly 9:00. - I couldn't sleep. 170 00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:29,968 Me, neither. I don't know about you, 171 00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:31,319 but I was thinking about the Caldera 172 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:32,887 and how we need to savor every moment 173 00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:35,432 before life is ripped from us by a storm of airborne ejecta. 174 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,642 Ejecta? Oh, she wants it. 175 00:08:37,726 --> 00:08:40,353 - You should take out your penis. - Oh, Christ, please, just let me do this. 176 00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:42,605 - Okay, well, I'll take out my penis. - Shh, shh! 177 00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:45,191 Missy, I think that you're a very cool person 178 00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:47,027 whom I enjoy spending time with. 179 00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:50,030 - You think that? - I do, and I wanted to ask you 180 00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:54,242 if it's not a bother currently, if perhaps you would be my girlfriend? 181 00:08:55,827 --> 00:08:58,830 - Does that mean yes? - Yes, I would like that very much. 182 00:08:58,913 --> 00:09:01,833 Oh, boy. Did you feel that? 183 00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:03,251 Do you think it was an earthquake? 184 00:09:03,334 --> 00:09:06,046 No, Missy, I think it was us. 185 00:09:06,755 --> 00:09:10,258 ♪ When we're together, my insides throb ♪ 186 00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:13,178 ♪ Like my intestines are in my heart ♪ 187 00:09:13,181 --> 00:09:14,175 I know, and... 188 00:09:14,179 --> 00:09:17,640 ♪ I'm reduced to a trembling heap ♪ 189 00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:22,562 ♪ Of hives and nervous farts ♪ 190 00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,733 What's this feeling? 191 00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:30,403 ♪ My organs bind and cramp ♪ 192 00:09:30,487 --> 00:09:33,239 ♪ And I nearly poop my pants ♪ 193 00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:36,659 ♪ Every time I see you ♪ 194 00:09:37,869 --> 00:09:40,622 ♪ Oh, I feel like shit ♪ 195 00:09:40,705 --> 00:09:45,210 ♪ This must be love ♪ 196 00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:48,713 ♪ I'm nauseous from the stress ♪ 197 00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:52,550 ♪ And I'm a gassy, rashy mess ♪ 198 00:09:52,634 --> 00:09:55,637 ♪ I've got a boner in my chest ♪ 199 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:59,557 ♪ 'Cause I'm in love ♪ 200 00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:03,725 Wow. 201 00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:06,147 I guess I'll see you at school tomorrow. 202 00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:07,899 If we make it to tomorrow. 203 00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:09,234 Ooh-oooh... 204 00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:10,443 Good night, Missy. 205 00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:11,694 Good night, Andrew. 206 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:15,573 All right. There we go, bro, you've got a girlfriend. 207 00:10:15,657 --> 00:10:17,242 I've got a girlfriend. I can't breathe. 208 00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:19,410 - I think I'm hyperventilating. - Here, breathe into this. 209 00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:20,703 Ugh! 210 00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,122 What... what is in this? 211 00:10:22,205 --> 00:10:24,040 Some more of my dicks and half a tuna melt. 212 00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:28,294 Okay, Steve, you're going to have to learn your letters. 213 00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:30,338 Well, obviously, I know the big song. 214 00:10:30,421 --> 00:10:33,716 ♪ Teepee, fat guy, sideways moon ♪ 215 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,427 ♪ Other fat guy, sideways comb ♪ 216 00:10:36,511 --> 00:10:37,679 Wow. 217 00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:39,055 That is a song. 218 00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:41,015 Oh, Miss B, you're so nice. 219 00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:43,518 You're not trying to steal one of my kidneys, are you? 220 00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:45,353 'Cause I've been fooled multiple times. 221 00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:47,438 No, you remind me of my brother. 222 00:10:47,522 --> 00:10:49,190 He's special, like you. 223 00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:50,650 You think I'm special? 224 00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:53,486 You're the man, Steve. Give her a kidney. 225 00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:57,490 Hey, Miss B, how do you spell "love"? 226 00:10:58,116 --> 00:11:01,661 - L-O-V-E. - Mm-hmm. Uh-huh... oh. 227 00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:02,871 - Love. - Ah! 228 00:11:02,954 --> 00:11:04,914 Hockey stick, coffee stain, 229 00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,958 water cooler cup, sideways comb. 230 00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:09,043 You're learning really quickly. I love it. 231 00:11:09,127 --> 00:11:11,963 And I love you. I'm in love with you. 232 00:11:12,046 --> 00:11:14,340 Oh, Steve, that's very sweet. 233 00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:17,468 - I love you too. - And I love pizza. 234 00:11:17,552 --> 00:11:19,304 Cowabunga, dude. 235 00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:25,268 Hey, buddy, uh, what the hell are you doing? 236 00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:28,021 I'm having a panic attack, Nick, currently. 237 00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:29,622 I'm looking at Missy, and it feels like 238 00:11:29,623 --> 00:11:31,399 my heart is leaping out of my chest. 239 00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:34,402 Andrew, as your doctor, I would advise you get your shit together 240 00:11:34,485 --> 00:11:37,196 - and go talk to your girlfriend. - Oh, God, that word. 241 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:40,450 Oh, my tongue is getting larger. Can you just talk to her for me? 242 00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,076 Jesus, come on. 243 00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:45,955 Missy, Andrew is back from the floor. He says good morning. 244 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,290 Good morning, Andrew. 245 00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:48,174 I seem to be suffering 246 00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:50,293 from a classic case of swollen tongue. 247 00:11:51,294 --> 00:11:54,923 I was wondering if you would like to go to the science museum tonight 248 00:11:55,006 --> 00:11:56,925 with me and my parents. 249 00:11:57,008 --> 00:11:59,469 Andrew, your girlfriend just asked you out on a date. 250 00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:01,179 - What do you say? - Say yes. 251 00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:04,682 Sorry about that. I had one of my dicks in my mouth. Say yes. 252 00:12:04,766 --> 00:12:07,226 Weren't we supposed to watch volcano movies tonight? 253 00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:10,897 It's fine. Missy, he would love to. 254 00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:13,399 Okay. Now, I can't believe I'm saying this, 255 00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:15,693 but can we please focus on our science project? 256 00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:18,404 You know, I'm smelling this. This isn't my dick. 257 00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:22,825 Oh, I do not feel good. I am really nervous about this date. 258 00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:24,452 You know what always relaxes you? 259 00:12:24,535 --> 00:12:25,828 No, no, I don't know. 260 00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:27,716 This is our first chance to jerk off 261 00:12:27,717 --> 00:12:29,415 to something that might actually happen. 262 00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:32,877 - Let's glaze those knuckles, honey. - Okay. Maybe you're right. 263 00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:40,259 Hi, Andrew, what do you want to do to me? 264 00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:44,055 Uh... I wanna put sunscreen on your body. 265 00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:45,348 Yeah, lube her up! 266 00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:48,601 Now what? 267 00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:51,813 You want to lie down with me like when people lie down? 268 00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:55,692 But you just put on sunscreen and the sand might stick to you. 269 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:58,027 Hey, Gilligan. What the fuck are we doing here? 270 00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,780 - Give it to me, Andrew. - Uh... 271 00:13:00,863 --> 00:13:02,490 Nope, this doesn't feel right. Can't do it! 272 00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:04,701 - What the hell happened? - I don't know. 273 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:07,412 Now that she's my girlfriend, it feels wrong. 274 00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:09,747 Like, I don't want to sully our relationship. 275 00:13:09,831 --> 00:13:12,458 All right, fine. Let's just, uh, get back to basics. 276 00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:14,419 Ah, here's the Athleta catalog. 277 00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:17,171 I got a tub of Land O'Lakes, which is dual purpose. 278 00:13:17,255 --> 00:13:20,508 Okay. No, no, I can't use any of that stuff. 279 00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:23,553 If I masturbate to someone else, I'll feel like I'm cheating on Missy. 280 00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:24,762 So let me get this straight. 281 00:13:24,846 --> 00:13:28,599 You can't jerk off to Missy and you can't jerk off to not Missy. 282 00:13:28,683 --> 00:13:30,893 - What the hell are you gonna jerk off to? - Nothing. 283 00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:32,895 I guess I'm not gonna jerk off. 284 00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:36,566 Yeah, you're... you're not gonna jerk off. 285 00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,943 All right, where are the cameras? 286 00:13:39,027 --> 00:13:40,820 Am I on Jerk'd? 287 00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:43,364 - Where's Mark McGrath? - Hey, I'm serious. 288 00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:46,159 I am not masturbating from this day forward. 289 00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:49,829 And if you'll excuse me, I have to get ready for my date with Missy. 290 00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:52,206 But you haven't jerked off in nearly 36 hours. 291 00:13:53,416 --> 00:13:55,153 That's unprecedented. If you don't do it soon, 292 00:13:55,154 --> 00:13:56,919 you're gonna blow, damn it! 293 00:13:58,504 --> 00:13:59,839 How do you like that? 294 00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:01,758 Andrew Glouberman has a girlfriend. 295 00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:04,594 I'll never forget my first love. Becky Lyman. 296 00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:07,680 I kissed her on the cheek, and she kicked me square in the groin. 297 00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:11,392 But you know what hurt even more than my swollen, bruised testicles? 298 00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:13,519 - Your heart? - No, my urethra. 299 00:14:13,603 --> 00:14:15,897 It collapsed and had to be surgically repaired. 300 00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:18,316 But I'm sure things will go much more smoothly for Andrew. 301 00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:21,319 That boy is gonna be a beautiful boyfriend. 302 00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:23,821 Guys, can we please stop talking about Andrew? 303 00:14:23,905 --> 00:14:25,114 Oh, Nicky. 304 00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:26,366 Are you jealous? 305 00:14:26,449 --> 00:14:29,202 No, I've just been talking about Andrew and Missy all week. 306 00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:32,288 And now he's out with her, and I'm on a date with my parents. 307 00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,707 Hey, this is the only threesome I'd ever want. 308 00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:36,501 - Gross. - What we're saying is, 309 00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:39,003 we'd go out with you even if you weren't our son. 310 00:14:39,087 --> 00:14:41,089 You'd go out with a random 12-year old boy? 311 00:14:41,172 --> 00:14:43,591 If he was as dynamite as you, you better believe it. 312 00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:46,803 Holy bonkers! 313 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,513 This is a real trifecta for me. 314 00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:52,934 Hanging out with my parents, science, and my beau. 315 00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:54,435 Oh, am I talking too much? 316 00:14:54,519 --> 00:14:56,923 Cyrus, you let her have dried papaya, 317 00:14:56,924 --> 00:14:58,898 and now she's bouncing off the walls. 318 00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:02,443 I didn't give her any papaya. I think she's sweet on someone else. 319 00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:05,279 - He's talking about Andrew. - Yes. 320 00:15:05,363 --> 00:15:09,242 My mom says I'm sweet and that's why spiders keep biting me. 321 00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:10,576 Oh, smooth. 322 00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:13,413 Way to bring up your mom and also spider bites. 323 00:15:13,496 --> 00:15:16,499 You sure you don't wanna tell them about your pediatric hemorrhoids? 324 00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:19,377 - Are you drunk? - Andrew, are you coming? 325 00:15:19,460 --> 00:15:22,380 Oh, in the heart, with you, alone? 326 00:15:22,463 --> 00:15:24,048 - Yes. - I'm coming, too. 327 00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:27,093 No, you cannot be in there. You need to leave me alone. 328 00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:30,680 Not a chance, homo. I'm gonna watch you turn her out. 329 00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:32,723 Hey, this is not okay. 330 00:15:32,807 --> 00:15:34,114 Now, I didn't wanna have to do this, 331 00:15:34,115 --> 00:15:37,103 but I am thinking about my grandmother. 332 00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:39,105 Gray, round, and ready to pound. 333 00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:41,649 Okay. How about a mezuzah? 334 00:15:41,732 --> 00:15:44,360 - Huh? - You know how a cross works on a vampire? 335 00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,988 Oh, sweetheart, a mezuzah is just a gold dick 336 00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:50,116 you nail on your door to say, "Inside, we fuck." 337 00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:52,285 Okay. You leave me no choice. 338 00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:53,911 This is Garrison Keillor, 339 00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:56,789 the former host of NPR's A Prairie Home Companion. 340 00:15:56,873 --> 00:16:00,877 A lovely thing about Christmas is it's compulsory. 341 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:04,255 - Feel his sexlessness! - No, no, no! Aaah! 342 00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:05,715 Come on, Missy. Let's go. 343 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:09,302 Now I will breathe loudly through my nose hair. 344 00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:11,679 My dicks! My dicks are running away! 345 00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:17,101 I'm so glad you're taping this because these guys are legends. 346 00:16:17,185 --> 00:16:19,854 I give you... the Sorcerers of the Square Table. 347 00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:23,691 Come near. The closer you look, the less you see, ha ha! 348 00:16:23,774 --> 00:16:25,651 Okay. We're changing the project. 349 00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:29,155 "How no sex for 30 years affects the male posture." 350 00:16:29,238 --> 00:16:31,282 Ooh, get a close-up of Mr. Bolo Tie's fingernails. 351 00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:34,202 Look how long they are. They're like antlers. 352 00:16:34,285 --> 00:16:37,580 Okay. First of all, "Mr. Bolo Tie" has a name, 353 00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:39,665 and it's the Magnificent Gary. 354 00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:43,461 And his long fingernails are because he uses a harp in his act. 355 00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:46,714 Uh-huh. Because magic isn't lame enough on its own. 356 00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:50,760 Oh, my God, I feel like I'm my most authentic self with you, Matthew. 357 00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:53,804 Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. Are you guys making fun of magic? 358 00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:55,890 - And you. - And your man coven. 359 00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:58,392 I don't get it. Why did you even choose me? 360 00:16:58,476 --> 00:17:00,811 - What about our project? - Oh, come on, Jay. 361 00:17:00,895 --> 00:17:04,315 We can't seriously do a science project about teleportation. 362 00:17:04,398 --> 00:17:06,150 Darling, it's not even real. 363 00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:10,363 Teleportation is the exact place where science and magic intersect. 364 00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:13,324 I can't believe I brought you assholes into this sacred space! 365 00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:17,537 - It's a Panera. - It's a chamber of wonders, you dicks! 366 00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:20,873 - Are you still getting this? - It's gold. 367 00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:22,250 Do either of you have a car? 368 00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:25,127 I'm 30 minutes late for a court-supervised visit with my mother. 369 00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:29,298 - Hey, Duke. - Hey! It's Friday night! 370 00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:30,883 Where's your accountant Andrew? 371 00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:32,802 - Oh, we're just friends. - Uh-oh! 372 00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:35,304 It's not good to have your friends do your taxes. 373 00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:38,224 Andrew's got a date. I set him up with this girl Missy, and... 374 00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:39,642 now, she's all he talks about. 375 00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:41,102 Oh! 376 00:17:41,185 --> 00:17:42,228 And you're feeling left out? 377 00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:44,730 I'm just kind of worried he's not gonna have time for me anymore. 378 00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:48,568 Oh, he won't. Some men just disappear into their ladies, 379 00:17:48,651 --> 00:17:51,988 like Joltin' Joe DiMaggio with Marilyn Monroe. 380 00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:53,906 He was obsessed, 381 00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:57,952 just hanging out in center field, folding her panties up. 382 00:17:58,035 --> 00:18:00,371 ♪ And not her nice panties ♪ 383 00:18:00,454 --> 00:18:03,416 ♪ Her "I'm feeling sick today" panties ♪ 384 00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:05,334 Uh-huh. I mean, I like girls too, 385 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:08,045 but I make time for my family, sports, my friends. 386 00:18:08,129 --> 00:18:09,116 Me, too. 387 00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:11,882 And my girl, my cars, my band. 388 00:18:11,966 --> 00:18:12,967 Yeah, we're the same. 389 00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:15,928 That's right. Two ghosts alone in the attic. 390 00:18:16,012 --> 00:18:17,388 But I'm not dead. 391 00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:20,349 You are to Andrew. 392 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,184 Whoa. 393 00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:24,520 This is a lovely ventricle. 394 00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:26,230 Yes, it looks very healthy. 395 00:18:26,314 --> 00:18:29,191 - No signs of plaque or... - Or arterial blockage. 396 00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:31,736 You took the diagnosis right out of my mouth. 397 00:18:31,819 --> 00:18:34,322 It's really nice being alone with you. 398 00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:36,532 Let me in! 399 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:39,535 Andrew, let me in! I will not be ignored! 400 00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:41,662 It's nice to be alone with you too, Missy. 401 00:18:41,746 --> 00:18:45,791 I will burn this place to the ground and fuck the ashes! 402 00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:49,211 I have been blowing loads since the dawn of time! 403 00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:50,296 Oh! 404 00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:52,381 Missy, Andrew, are you kids okay? 405 00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:53,466 Was that real? 406 00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:56,135 Don't you worry. It was just a tremor, sweetie. 407 00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:58,512 That was me! I'm taking credit like ISIS! 408 00:18:58,596 --> 00:19:01,349 You asshole! You just ruined my first kiss! 409 00:19:01,432 --> 00:19:03,726 No, you just ruined your first kiss. 410 00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:06,354 I warned you. Now look what you made me do. 411 00:19:06,437 --> 00:19:07,938 Oh, God, no! 412 00:19:08,022 --> 00:19:09,648 Cats are intended to teach us 413 00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:11,984 that not everything in nature has a purpose. 414 00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:14,528 There's only one way to make you shut up! 415 00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:17,448 - Oh, God. - Garrison, no! 416 00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:20,284 Take it all, Keillor. Take it all. 417 00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,081 Oh, thank you. Oh! 418 00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:27,750 Steve. Look at you all dressed up. 419 00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:30,169 - Well, it's a special day. - And you're a special guy. 420 00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:33,214 - And I would kill anyone for you. - Well, that's not necessary. 421 00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:36,509 Well, that's a relief 'cause I'd do it, but it would weigh on me. 422 00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:39,845 Hey, would you want to be an honorary judge for the science fair? 423 00:19:39,929 --> 00:19:40,930 - A judge? - Yeah. 424 00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:43,849 At the science fair? I would be honorary. 425 00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:45,017 That makes me so happy. 426 00:19:45,101 --> 00:19:49,355 Well, I think I'm about to make you a little bit happier. 427 00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:51,232 Oh, Steve. 428 00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:53,859 That's right. I know you knew this was coming. 429 00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:56,278 Miss B, will you marry me? 430 00:19:56,362 --> 00:19:58,030 Oh, Steve. 431 00:19:58,114 --> 00:20:00,032 I'm so flattered. Really. 432 00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:01,992 But I can't marry you. 433 00:20:02,076 --> 00:20:04,620 - What? Why? - Well, for one, 434 00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:07,915 don't you think you should marry someone a little more like you? 435 00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:10,084 Someone who pays their taxes in grapes? 436 00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:11,502 Kind of, yeah. 437 00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:14,213 But, also, Steve, I think of you more as a friend. 438 00:20:14,296 --> 00:20:16,215 - I'm so sorry. - Sorry? 439 00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:17,842 How dare you say sorry 440 00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:20,720 when you just made me the happiest man of my life. 441 00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:22,805 - You're happy? - Of course. 442 00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:24,348 You want to be friends. 443 00:20:24,432 --> 00:20:26,892 I can't believe you're putting me in the friend zone. 444 00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:28,436 That's like the number one zone. 445 00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:31,939 Yes, Steve. I would be honorary to be your friend. 446 00:20:32,022 --> 00:20:33,691 Who's the man? 447 00:20:33,774 --> 00:20:37,403 Spoiler alert, it's Steve, AKA "the man." 448 00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:42,408 That was intense at the museum. 449 00:20:42,491 --> 00:20:44,160 Oh, the earthquake, I mean. 450 00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:47,496 Yeah, it was. Oh, crap, no. 451 00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:49,415 - Hello, Brother Andrew. - Brother Andrew? 452 00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:52,126 Yes. I want to apologize for my behavior. 453 00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:53,919 I may have crossed the line 454 00:20:54,003 --> 00:20:57,882 when I skull-intercoursed Mr. Keillor's severed head. 455 00:20:57,965 --> 00:21:00,718 And you should know that I won't be bothering you anymore. 456 00:21:00,801 --> 00:21:03,053 Oh. Okay, I... I guess that's good. 457 00:21:03,137 --> 00:21:06,932 - God bless you, Brother Maurice. - And God bless you, Pastor Rick. 458 00:21:07,016 --> 00:21:09,393 There's the man who got me clean. Helped me find the Lord. 459 00:21:09,477 --> 00:21:14,106 Uh-oh! There seems to be some, uh, pre-lava oozing out of the volcano. 460 00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:16,025 I'm gonna go to the parking lot 461 00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:18,527 and smoke a quick Merit, get my head straight. 462 00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:21,781 - He looks really sad. - I know. 463 00:21:21,864 --> 00:21:23,138 I don't want to make fun of him. 464 00:21:23,139 --> 00:21:26,118 There's a ton of mold on those shower curtains. 465 00:21:26,202 --> 00:21:28,204 Oh, my God. Is he talking to his bath mat? 466 00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:31,040 I don't need them. I can do this myself. 467 00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:32,958 Then why'd you even bring me from home? 468 00:21:33,042 --> 00:21:35,336 Because they ditched me and I need something to teleport. 469 00:21:35,419 --> 00:21:37,922 You said we could go to the Cheesecake Factory. 470 00:21:38,005 --> 00:21:40,216 I want avocado egg rolls. 471 00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:42,092 What do you think about the mouth, Andrew? 472 00:21:42,176 --> 00:21:44,428 - Is it moist enough? - It's plenty moist, Missy. 473 00:21:44,512 --> 00:21:45,679 - Hey, sorry, I'm late. - Oh. 474 00:21:45,763 --> 00:21:47,932 - I'm so glad you're here. - Oh, good. 475 00:21:48,015 --> 00:21:50,601 Missy keeps saying all this stuff that sounds so sexual. 476 00:21:50,684 --> 00:21:52,978 - Right, yeah, Missy. Great, of course. - What? 477 00:21:53,062 --> 00:21:54,980 - You're such a girlfriend guy. - What do you mean? 478 00:21:55,064 --> 00:21:55,801 Next thing you know, 479 00:21:55,802 --> 00:21:57,817 you're gonna be folding her underpants in center field. 480 00:21:57,900 --> 00:21:59,276 That's crazy. 481 00:21:59,360 --> 00:22:02,112 I can't imagine myself being placed in center field. 482 00:22:02,196 --> 00:22:05,449 - I'm more of a right field kind of guy. - Well, you're clearly too busy for me. 483 00:22:05,533 --> 00:22:09,119 - Just spending all your time with Missy. - Missy and I just started dating. 484 00:22:09,203 --> 00:22:10,496 Why are you freaking out so much? 485 00:22:10,579 --> 00:22:12,623 I'm not freaking out! You're being a shitty friend! 486 00:22:12,706 --> 00:22:14,375 You're being a shitty friend! 487 00:22:18,504 --> 00:22:21,131 This would work a lot better if I had an assistant, but since I don't, 488 00:22:21,215 --> 00:22:25,469 ladies and gentlemen, I will be teleporting this bath mat. 489 00:22:25,553 --> 00:22:27,680 It's not gonna work, you butt-fuck. 490 00:22:27,763 --> 00:22:31,016 Why don't you teleport your head out of your ass? 491 00:22:31,100 --> 00:22:32,016 Okay, okay. 492 00:22:32,017 --> 00:22:33,686 Assistants are better seen, not heard. 493 00:22:33,769 --> 00:22:38,649 Now, as you can see, the booth is empty, as is this booth. 494 00:22:38,732 --> 00:22:40,317 Wha... what are you guys doing here? 495 00:22:40,401 --> 00:22:42,194 We thought you might need a couple assistants. 496 00:22:42,278 --> 00:22:44,863 And we didn't want to be blamed for your suicide. 497 00:22:44,947 --> 00:22:47,116 Okay. Let's do this. 498 00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:51,662 Ladies and gentlemen, behold, the science of teleportation. 499 00:22:54,331 --> 00:22:56,292 Holy shit. It worked. 500 00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:57,668 Jay, we did it! 501 00:22:57,751 --> 00:22:59,878 No, Jessi. I did it. 502 00:22:59,962 --> 00:23:01,338 Still the worst. 503 00:23:01,422 --> 00:23:03,924 Our project is the Yellowstone Caldera, 504 00:23:04,008 --> 00:23:07,761 a sleeping giant ready to awaken at any moment. 505 00:23:07,845 --> 00:23:11,015 Hot, thick fluids bubbling up from below. 506 00:23:11,098 --> 00:23:15,686 Swelling, thrusting, crustal stretching. 507 00:23:15,769 --> 00:23:17,813 I can't. I can't keep it together, man. 508 00:23:17,896 --> 00:23:20,608 I'm not strong enough. I'm really sorry. 509 00:23:20,691 --> 00:23:22,568 - Sorry for what? - For what I'm about to do. 510 00:23:22,651 --> 00:23:25,988 And when the pressure builds, it needs to release. 511 00:23:26,071 --> 00:23:27,197 Oh, my God! Whoa! 512 00:23:29,116 --> 00:23:31,619 Everything's fine, kids. It's just a small tremor. 513 00:23:31,702 --> 00:23:33,912 Okay. Everybody keep your friends close. 514 00:23:33,996 --> 00:23:35,539 Keep going, Missy. You're doing great. 515 00:23:35,623 --> 00:23:37,499 I... I can't. I... 516 00:23:37,583 --> 00:23:39,501 Andrew, can you please take over? 517 00:23:39,585 --> 00:23:41,795 - Oh, no. - What's wrong? 518 00:23:41,879 --> 00:23:42,963 Uh... 519 00:23:43,047 --> 00:23:44,965 - My... - Oh, boy. 520 00:23:46,675 --> 00:23:48,802 - Whoa! - Oh, God! 521 00:23:48,886 --> 00:23:49,970 Shit! 522 00:23:50,054 --> 00:23:51,513 Missy, come with me. 523 00:23:51,597 --> 00:23:54,308 No, you're out of control, Andrew! 524 00:23:55,059 --> 00:23:56,477 We're all out of control. 525 00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:58,812 Suck my stump, Maurice. 526 00:23:58,896 --> 00:24:00,606 Yeah, suck his sick little dick. 527 00:24:00,689 --> 00:24:02,941 All right. I don't know what's going on. 528 00:24:03,025 --> 00:24:04,777 Fuck! 529 00:24:04,860 --> 00:24:09,073 Do you take Coach Steve to be your lawfully wedded husband? 530 00:24:09,156 --> 00:24:10,070 I do. 531 00:24:10,074 --> 00:24:11,784 Hallelujah! 532 00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:15,287 Oh, my God! 533 00:24:16,955 --> 00:24:18,040 Missy! Whaah! 534 00:24:19,792 --> 00:24:20,793 Oh, you like it? Bad girl. 535 00:24:25,047 --> 00:24:26,840 Andrew, you knucklehead. 536 00:24:26,924 --> 00:24:29,051 ... are also intended to teach us... 537 00:24:30,135 --> 00:24:33,138 And there will be a day of reckoning, 538 00:24:33,222 --> 00:24:35,516 as the hot lava blasts forth... 539 00:24:35,599 --> 00:24:38,394 and cleanses the Earth of sin, 540 00:24:38,477 --> 00:24:42,147 for you cannot control the power of nature. 541 00:24:49,488 --> 00:24:51,990 No! 542 00:24:52,991 --> 00:24:54,618 Shit! 543 00:24:57,079 --> 00:24:58,997 Ugh! It's everywhere. 544 00:24:59,081 --> 00:25:01,041 It's between my goddamn toes. 545 00:25:01,125 --> 00:25:02,375 I told you the volcano would blow. 546 00:25:02,376 --> 00:25:04,211 You can't ignore me. I'm here to stay. 547 00:25:04,294 --> 00:25:07,339 - Like Nick Cannon. - So it was all a wet dream? 548 00:25:07,423 --> 00:25:08,966 I honestly don't know. 549 00:25:09,049 --> 00:25:11,135 I think the Jessi and Jay stuff was real. 550 00:25:11,218 --> 00:25:15,222 - What about the bath mat? - She's real, and she's spectacular. 551 00:25:15,305 --> 00:25:16,890 Hey, that's from Seinfeld. 552 00:25:16,974 --> 00:25:19,560 - Question: am I still dreaming? - I think so. 553 00:25:19,643 --> 00:25:21,520 Okay, 'cause I wasn't in the teacher's lounge 554 00:25:21,603 --> 00:25:23,689 when Coach Steve was, like, talking about Seinfeld. 555 00:25:23,772 --> 00:25:24,812 Right, right, right. 556 00:25:24,815 --> 00:25:27,786 Let's just agree that maybe I've seen all of this 557 00:25:27,787 --> 00:25:29,403 and that this dream is possible. 558 00:25:29,486 --> 00:25:31,572 What did you think about the Garrison Keillor part? Too far? 559 00:25:31,655 --> 00:25:33,490 That part made me uncomfortable. 560 00:25:33,574 --> 00:25:35,242 Yeah, at the time, it seemed funny. 561 00:25:35,325 --> 00:25:37,119 No, and I like fucked up stuff like that. 562 00:25:37,202 --> 00:25:39,496 - You know, Netflix insisted on it. - Really? 563 00:25:43,501 --> 00:25:48,501 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -