1
00:00:07,048 --> 00:00:09,050
[car horn blares]
2
00:00:09,592 --> 00:00:11,845
Let's go! Let's go! We're already late!
3
00:00:11,928 --> 00:00:13,013
It's 7:01.
4
00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:14,416
Yeah, and he said 7:00. Let's go.
5
00:00:14,472 --> 00:00:16,158
It's spring break,
it's supposed to be relaxing.
6
00:00:16,182 --> 00:00:19,811
Marty Glouberman doesn't relax.
The man eats on the toilet to save time.
7
00:00:19,894 --> 00:00:22,272
[groans] Jesus, Connie,
what did you pack in here?
8
00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:24,566
- I didn't know what to bring.
- It's Florida, baby.
9
00:00:24,649 --> 00:00:27,569
The only time you don't wear
a bathing suit is to a funeral.
10
00:00:27,652 --> 00:00:29,237
And even then, it depends on who died.
11
00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:30,739
No one is dying, Maury.
12
00:00:30,822 --> 00:00:34,576
Honestly, I've never been to Florida
and not watched someone die.
13
00:00:34,659 --> 00:00:38,913
- Luckily, I've brought a grieving Speedo.
- Mmm. My condolences.
14
00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:40,373
[purrs]
15
00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:42,250
Thanks again for taking him, Barbara.
16
00:00:42,333 --> 00:00:44,627
You know, Nick is going through
a real, um...
17
00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:46,046
asshole phase.
18
00:00:46,129 --> 00:00:48,673
Oh, then he'll fit right in
with the Glouber-men.
19
00:00:48,757 --> 00:00:52,469
I'm getting flop sweats just thinking
about all that testosterone
20
00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:53,553
and shoulder hair.
21
00:00:53,636 --> 00:00:54,971
Do you want a couple Xanax?
22
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:59,184
I kissed a few into Elliot's mouth
this morning for his separation anxiety.
23
00:00:59,267 --> 00:01:02,187
[sobbing] I'm just gonna miss him so much.
24
00:01:02,812 --> 00:01:04,022
[horn honks]
25
00:01:04,105 --> 00:01:05,899
[Nick] You can stop honking now, Dad.
26
00:01:05,982 --> 00:01:08,276
- I'll stop when we're in Florida!
- [honking]
27
00:01:10,987 --> 00:01:14,240
[Marty] Argh! Come on, come on!
We already know who's in the show!
28
00:01:14,824 --> 00:01:17,160
What is that, a sperm? Disgusting!
29
00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:20,163
Skip the intro already, would ya?
We don't have time!
30
00:01:20,538 --> 00:01:22,707
Mantzoukas? Too many letters.
31
00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:24,709
Ugh, who is watchin' this garbage?
32
00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:27,128
The neo-Nazi trolls on YouTube are right,
33
00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:28,713
this show is disgusting!
34
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,715
You know who had a good intro song?
35
00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:33,593
Two and a Half Men.
They got right to the point.
36
00:01:33,676 --> 00:01:35,678
♪ Men! ♪ Come on, already!
37
00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,806
Let's literally get this show on the road.
38
00:01:37,889 --> 00:01:39,682
[chuckles] Now, that's funny.
39
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,309
They should put that in the show.
40
00:01:41,392 --> 00:01:43,937
[horn blaring]
41
00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:45,855
What is this Seder thing again?
42
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,482
Nicola, you don't know?
43
00:01:47,565 --> 00:01:49,567
I'm kidding. It's just
this long, boring dinner
44
00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:52,028
with my angry grandpa
and my lame cousin, Cheryl.
45
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:53,822
Ugh! Cheryl's such a baby.
46
00:01:53,905 --> 00:01:55,990
She makes us play My Little Pony.
47
00:01:56,074 --> 00:01:59,244
We wanna play big-boy stuff
like baseball cards and Mad Libs!
48
00:01:59,327 --> 00:02:02,539
Andrew, the Seder is
when we tell the story of Passover,
49
00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:05,083
the one time our people did the screwing!
50
00:02:05,166 --> 00:02:06,166
Oh, here we go.
51
00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:09,796
We were Pharaoh's slaves,
forced to do all sorts of labor,
52
00:02:09,879 --> 00:02:12,549
unlike Andrew, who could barely use
a Swiffer WetJet!
53
00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:14,801
It is not as intuitive as it looks.
54
00:02:14,884 --> 00:02:18,179
One day, God turned Himself
into a burning bush.
55
00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:20,014
Oh, I had that before.
56
00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:22,976
And he tells Moses,
"Get outta Egypt already!"
57
00:02:23,059 --> 00:02:24,936
But the Pharaoh, he won't let him go.
58
00:02:25,019 --> 00:02:27,939
- So, God hits 'em with ten plagues.
- [thunderclap]
59
00:02:28,022 --> 00:02:31,109
Locusts, hail, and finally, the big one...
60
00:02:31,192 --> 00:02:35,029
My firstborn penis. Why, God? Why?
61
00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:38,867
'Cause you didn't paint the lamb's blood
above the door like I told you.
62
00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:39,868
I don't like chores.
63
00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:42,704
Pharaoh said, "Scram,"
so we had to get out fast.
64
00:02:42,787 --> 00:02:45,665
Oh, but I'm waiting for the bread to rise.
65
00:02:45,748 --> 00:02:48,543
It's 7:01! Just make it matzo!
66
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,337
Then this Pharaoh Schlemiel,
he changes his mind,
67
00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:53,673
but God had one more trick up his sleeve.
68
00:02:54,048 --> 00:02:55,967
He parts the Red Sea.
69
00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:02,223
Great, three-drachma leather sandals
ruined.
70
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:03,933
And then what,
they just went to Israel?
71
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:06,060
No, they spent 40 years in the desert
72
00:03:06,144 --> 00:03:08,479
'cause they didn't know
how to make good time.
73
00:03:08,563 --> 00:03:10,773
- [honks horn]
- Marty, it's sweltering.
74
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,525
Please turn on the AC.
75
00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:14,903
What, are you crazy?
I'm gettin' great gas mileage.
76
00:03:14,986 --> 00:03:16,279
Andrew, blow on your mother.
77
00:03:16,362 --> 00:03:18,948
He doesn't know how to blow cool air.
He snorts!
78
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:21,868
It's true, Nick, I only know
how to exhale through my nose.
79
00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:24,120
- No, I did it again.
- [groans]
80
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,915
- [cackling]
- What the...
81
00:03:26,998 --> 00:03:30,168
The change is coming, Barbara. [cackles]
82
00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:32,128
How does she know my name?
83
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:33,713
Mr. Glouberman, I'm starving.
84
00:03:33,838 --> 00:03:35,965
- Where do you see us stopping for lunch?
- [laughs]
85
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:38,718
We've got wet salami sandwiches
in tinfoil,
86
00:03:38,801 --> 00:03:40,178
a thermos of clam chowder,
87
00:03:40,261 --> 00:03:43,640
and some Chex Mix in an old Band-Aid box.
Help yourself.
88
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:44,641
Can we at least stop
89
00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:45,910
- to go to the bathroom?
- Hah!
90
00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:47,518
- Ha-ha!
- We stop when I need gas.
91
00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:51,064
Until then, you're more than welcome to
finish the chowder and pee in the thermos.
92
00:03:51,147 --> 00:03:54,108
And it's hard to aim into the thermos!
93
00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:56,736
- What? It's huge, the thermos.
- Yeah, just try.
94
00:03:56,819 --> 00:03:58,446
- [hissing]
- [coughing]
95
00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:01,115
[panting] Oh, no! There's a fire!
96
00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:03,534
Val! Kurt! Mom, Dad!
97
00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:05,338
Where are you guys?
We gotta get outta here!
98
00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:08,289
Whoa, did someone gift-wrap our house?
99
00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:09,207
[gasps]
100
00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:11,125
I'm a present for a giant.
101
00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:12,961
[coughing]
102
00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:14,484
Holy shit! There was a kid in there!
103
00:04:14,545 --> 00:04:16,631
What? The whole family should be
on spring break.
104
00:04:16,714 --> 00:04:20,093
They Home Alone'd me?
Hah! Classic Bilzerian move.
105
00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:21,552
[laughs]
106
00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:24,222
Did they, uh...
Did they say when they'd be back?
107
00:04:24,889 --> 00:04:27,642
You're in luck,
Mr. Too Good to Piss in a Thermos.
108
00:04:27,725 --> 00:04:29,477
- I need gas.
- Oh, thank God!
109
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:32,647
I got a salami and clam chowder poop
that's backed up to my throat.
110
00:04:32,730 --> 00:04:33,982
God, look at the prices.
111
00:04:34,065 --> 00:04:36,543
Now, you listen to me, Nick.
We have exactly the amount of time
112
00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:39,445
it takes my dad to fill his gas tank,
or he will leave without us.
113
00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:41,969
- No child left behind.
- No child left behind. Let's do this!
114
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:46,035
Okay. Oh, Jesus Christ,
there's so much blood.
115
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:48,159
Oh, just shit on the blood.
I'll piss into the sink.
116
00:04:48,204 --> 00:04:50,248
I'm lookin' around,
I'm seein' hair dye and a razor.
117
00:04:50,331 --> 00:04:52,309
I think someone got shot
and changed their identity in here.
118
00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:54,460
- Let's go!
- There's a half-eaten ice-cream sandwich.
119
00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:56,629
- Andrew!
- God. He let his guard down for one second
120
00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:57,731
- and they got him, Nick.
- What?
121
00:04:57,755 --> 00:04:59,757
- Oh, all of a sudden, I can't go.
- Andrew!
122
00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:04,429
Psst. The change is coming.
123
00:05:04,762 --> 00:05:05,805
[cackles]
124
00:05:05,888 --> 00:05:07,223
What change?
125
00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:10,018
- [cackles]
- What are you talking about?
126
00:05:10,101 --> 00:05:11,981
You finish up in here,
I'm gonna go get a snack.
127
00:05:12,061 --> 00:05:13,688
Sh! Don't talk, it's finally coming out.
128
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:16,399
- [grunts]
- [Steve] That's gonna cost you.
129
00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:17,942
- What?
- A high five, my dude.
130
00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:18,901
Coach Steve?
131
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:23,448
I'm actually North Carolina
Gas Station Attendant Coach Steve now.
132
00:05:23,531 --> 00:05:25,533
We don't have time for a Coach Steve bit!
133
00:05:25,616 --> 00:05:27,035
- We're movin' out!
- I gotta go.
134
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,841
I flushed, and the blood sprayed my tushy!
135
00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:32,206
It's okay, Andrew.
We'll give you a Handi Wipe in the car.
136
00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:33,916
- Come on, jump!
- Okay.
137
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:34,834
- [groans]
- [gasps]
138
00:05:34,917 --> 00:05:37,628
Andrew! Careful with my precious door.
139
00:05:37,962 --> 00:05:40,006
- [moans]
- [tires squeal]
140
00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:44,218
[coughing] Don't worry, I'm okay because...
141
00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:46,596
and I know you're not supposed
to say this anymore...
142
00:05:46,679 --> 00:05:49,223
but I'm fire retardant, so...
143
00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:54,854
Hey, Mrs. Diane Mommy
and Soft-Daddy Dr. B. [chuckles]
144
00:05:54,937 --> 00:05:56,814
Please, Jay, call me by that name.
145
00:05:56,898 --> 00:05:58,524
Is, uh... is Nick home?
146
00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:02,320
Nick actually went to Florida
with Andrew and his family.
147
00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:03,821
Oh, right, yeah, that's cool.
148
00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:05,865
Outta curiosity, before I leave,
149
00:06:05,948 --> 00:06:09,577
do you have any, like, old pizza crusts
or white wine backwash?
150
00:06:09,660 --> 00:06:12,121
If you're hungry,
we're about to sit down for dinner.
151
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:13,706
Would you like to join us?
152
00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:16,167
Wait, really? Uh... Like, without Nick?
153
00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:18,836
- Yes.
- Any friend of my son is a son of mine.
154
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,296
- Yeah, okay.
- I love you.
155
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:21,214
I love you too.
156
00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:24,884
I was just gonna dress up like a duck
and try and score some bread at the park,
157
00:06:24,967 --> 00:06:26,761
but this is so much better!
158
00:06:27,553 --> 00:06:28,614
- [chuckling]
- [Maury] Ooh.
159
00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:30,848
Someone is for sure gonna die.
160
00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:36,562
Nick, welcome to Lakeland, Florida,
161
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:39,524
the upper Bronx
of the Greater Tampa Bay Area.
162
00:06:39,607 --> 00:06:40,942
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.
163
00:06:41,025 --> 00:06:43,569
- Help me, boy, I died yesterday.
- [screams]
164
00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:45,279
Isn't it weird how strong his grip is?
165
00:06:45,363 --> 00:06:48,282
Andrew, this place is not, uh... ideal.
166
00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:50,618
Oh, did I not mention that it sucks?
167
00:06:50,701 --> 00:06:51,786
Let's get outta here.
168
00:06:51,869 --> 00:06:55,248
I wanna go to South Beach
to see a wet dick contest!
169
00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:58,626
Yeah, let's blow a line of Lipitor
and use my Radisson points.
170
00:07:00,211 --> 00:07:01,295
You made shit time.
171
00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:02,755
We got a late start, Dad.
172
00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:05,651
Yeah, well, if you were late in Korea,
they made you eat your own socks.
173
00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,552
You weren't in Korea, Lewis.
174
00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:10,096
Yeah, well, I read about it
on the History channel.
175
00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:11,556
Hi, Zaide. How's your hip?
176
00:07:11,639 --> 00:07:12,932
Ugh... You wanna know?
177
00:07:13,015 --> 00:07:14,517
I... I care, a little.
178
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,687
I squeak, all right? Every time
I get Cream of Wheat from the cabinet.
179
00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:19,730
Hello, I'm Nick Birch,
I'm Andrew's friend.
180
00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:21,691
I think I speak for everyone when I say
181
00:07:21,774 --> 00:07:25,027
that we're very exhausted
and deeply disappointed
182
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:27,113
- with where we find ourselves.
- Yeah, me too.
183
00:07:27,196 --> 00:07:29,198
So maybe you could just
show us to our rooms?
184
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,993
Your rooms?
Right this way, Your Highness.
185
00:07:32,076 --> 00:07:33,619
- I call it the floor.
- For real?
186
00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:36,456
What? That's where I do
my physical therapy every morning.
187
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:39,000
- Nude. I hope you like white pubes.
- [groans]
188
00:07:39,083 --> 00:07:40,668
[grunting and snorting]
189
00:07:40,751 --> 00:07:42,511
Sweetie, does your family know
where you are?
190
00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:45,923
The question is,
do I know where they are? [laughs]
191
00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:47,675
- I do not.
- Oh, dear.
192
00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:49,558
Well, this has been
the best night of my life.
193
00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:52,847
So, I'm just gonna go find
a street mattress to sleep on.
194
00:07:52,930 --> 00:07:56,267
Ooh, may I borrow a steak knife,
just in case there are mustache men?
195
00:07:56,350 --> 00:07:57,685
Absolutely not.
196
00:07:57,768 --> 00:08:00,605
Yeah, you're right,
I can just bite 'em with my mouth knives.
197
00:08:00,688 --> 00:08:02,732
No, you'll sleep here, in Nick's room.
198
00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:05,526
Wait, am I the new Nick?
199
00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:07,236
- No, Jay.
- Yeah. Yeah, I get it.
200
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,405
We like you just the way you are.
201
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,489
Oh, my Go...
202
00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:12,115
[snoring]
203
00:08:13,075 --> 00:08:15,119
Why can't we sleep
in your grandfather's room?
204
00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:16,430
There's a whole empty bed in there.
205
00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:19,081
Nick, are you kidding?
That bed is for old newspapers.
206
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:20,541
Shut up, you two. Go to sleep!
207
00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,376
We have a long and terrible day tomorrow.
208
00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:24,504
It's so hot in here, Marty.
209
00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:27,798
I hate to say it, but I think
we need to turn on the air conditioner.
210
00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:29,050
Sh! He'll hear you.
211
00:08:29,133 --> 00:08:31,302
[grumbles] I'm not a millionaire.
212
00:08:31,385 --> 00:08:33,305
- [snoring]
- Fine. I'm gonna get some fresh air.
213
00:08:33,387 --> 00:08:34,507
Don't let the mosquitoes in.
214
00:08:35,556 --> 00:08:37,808
Oh, I feel like my skin is boiling.
215
00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:40,978
[old woman] Change, change, change...
216
00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:43,314
[gasps] It's you!
217
00:08:43,397 --> 00:08:45,399
[hissing and cackling]
218
00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:48,569
A year goes by, no blood to let
219
00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:52,156
- No men need fear to heed my threat!
- Oh, God!
220
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:55,952
Your mood, she swings, the tears do fall
221
00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:59,830
And soon you'll dance
at the Banshee's Ball!
222
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,374
- [cackling]
- Aah!
223
00:09:01,457 --> 00:09:04,377
The Banshee's Ball? I don't wanna go!
224
00:09:04,460 --> 00:09:06,963
[Marty] Me neither!
Where are we not going?
225
00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:08,881
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.
226
00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:11,133
Oh, I can't believe it's hailing.
227
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:13,970
Yep, just when you think
Florida can't get any worse,
228
00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:17,390
it rips out its belly button ring
and punches you in the face with it.
229
00:09:17,473 --> 00:09:18,724
Andrew, are you enjoying this?
230
00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:22,144
I am. I like it when things are
as bad for you as they are for me.
231
00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:23,668
Okay, yeah, that's fair. I see that.
232
00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:26,607
- Imagine living like this.
- You got a booger hanging out your nose.
233
00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:28,818
Yeah, I know, and if I pull that rip cord,
234
00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:30,570
there's a bucket of blood behind it.
235
00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:32,154
[sniffs] Ahem.
236
00:09:33,197 --> 00:09:35,157
Now, Marty, promise me
237
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:38,703
you and Skip aren't gonna fight
over the afikomen at the Seder this year.
238
00:09:38,786 --> 00:09:40,204
I won't start if he doesn't.
239
00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:41,914
Hey, big brother.
240
00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:45,126
- How you doin', Skip?
- Barbara, you look stunning.
241
00:09:45,209 --> 00:09:47,253
You know, if you ever wanna leave the zero
242
00:09:47,336 --> 00:09:49,171
and, uh, you know, have, um...
243
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:50,815
- sex with your brother-in-law...
- Ugh.
244
00:09:50,881 --> 00:09:52,925
- ...you know where to find me.
- On Dad's couch?
245
00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:55,803
What can I say?
The couch and I have a lot in common.
246
00:09:55,886 --> 00:09:57,346
We both pull out.
247
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:58,598
Oh, God.
248
00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:01,642
My Little Pony, is that you?
249
00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:03,102
Cousin Cheryl?
250
00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:07,773
It's Cherry now. I changed it.
251
00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:10,026
- Cherry Maraschino.
- Oh, wow.
252
00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:12,361
I was told I needed,
like, a catchy stage name
253
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,155
if I wanted to vape competitively.
254
00:10:14,238 --> 00:10:16,282
Certainly better than Cheryl Glouberman.
255
00:10:16,365 --> 00:10:19,869
- Hah, yeah, Glouberman sucks.
- You look good, cuz.
256
00:10:19,952 --> 00:10:21,662
Wow-wow-wee-wow!
257
00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:23,706
My cousin!
258
00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:24,790
Hi, Cherry, I'm Nick.
259
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:27,126
I'm kind of the Bradley Cooper
to Andrew's Ed Helms.
260
00:10:27,209 --> 00:10:29,670
- Thank you.
- Oh, cool, a Hangover reference.
261
00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:30,796
- Yeah.
- That's not dated.
262
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,941
- Yeah, I... I guess...
- Guys, this is my friend, Vicki.
263
00:10:32,965 --> 00:10:34,634
'Sup. Y'all fools wanna sink a boat?
264
00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:37,970
- Andrew, Cherry's, like, hot.
- Ew, that's my cousin.
265
00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:40,473
Don't talk about how her butt
fills her jean shorts
266
00:10:40,556 --> 00:10:42,933
like two plastic bags
filled with so much syrup.
267
00:10:43,017 --> 00:10:44,894
- What?
- Just don't talk about it.
268
00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:46,020
She's my cousin!
269
00:10:46,103 --> 00:10:49,482
Brainstorm! Let's go to LongHorn's
for some steaks!
270
00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:52,735
Restaurant steaks for lunch?
Who are you, Vince McMahon?
271
00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:55,404
Uh-oh. Sounds like
he wants to wrestle, Skip.
272
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,698
Oh, let's do it. Dad's room, no shoes.
273
00:10:57,782 --> 00:11:00,201
- Don't touch my newspapers.
- No one is wrestling!
274
00:11:00,284 --> 00:11:03,996
The hell we're not.
Barbara, help me move the couch!
275
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:06,040
[Cherry] Yo, cuz, check this out.
276
00:11:06,123 --> 00:11:09,001
Oh! Look at us.
Can you believe we were ever that young?
277
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:10,294
- Or that naked.
- [chuckles]
278
00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:12,380
Sure. Except for my bath glasses.
279
00:11:12,463 --> 00:11:15,174
How funny would it be
if we took another bath together?
280
00:11:15,257 --> 00:11:18,219
- What's that now?
- Uh, you wanna take a bath with me?
281
00:11:18,302 --> 00:11:19,679
Oh, I'm just fucking with you.
282
00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:22,306
You're so gullible.
It's kinda cute, you gross perv.
283
00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:25,309
Wait, wait, wait.
What the fuck is she doing?
284
00:11:25,393 --> 00:11:28,396
- Y'all wanna go to an abandoned marina?
- Abandoned marina, Andrew?
285
00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:30,481
- I don't know about this, Nick.
- Could be fun.
286
00:11:30,564 --> 00:11:33,317
Yes, let's follow this little psycho
to a boat graveyard.
287
00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:34,902
You gotta slither under a fence.
288
00:11:34,985 --> 00:11:36,654
- It'll scratch your back up good.
- What?
289
00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:39,240
Y'all ever seen a fish explode
it's so dead?
290
00:11:39,740 --> 00:11:41,158
You didn't realize you forgot him?
291
00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:45,579
Uh-huh. Oh, and there's a $10 change fee
if you shorten your trip. I see.
292
00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:48,350
- What's this mouth sauce called again?
- Oh, we call that toothpaste.
293
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:50,501
So, I put this on the bathroom fork?
294
00:11:50,584 --> 00:11:52,795
- [crunches] Mmm.
- No, no, no, you don't eat it!
295
00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:56,173
Ah, shit! Oh, sorry, language. Fuck!
296
00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:59,385
Good news, Jay. You can stay with us
until your family gets back.
297
00:11:59,468 --> 00:12:02,304
And also, your brothers
really want you to know,
298
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:04,432
you weren't Home Alone'd,
299
00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:07,560
- you were Homo Alone'd.
- [chuckling] Oh, man!
300
00:12:07,643 --> 00:12:10,396
And then one of them farted
into the receiver.
301
00:12:10,479 --> 00:12:11,689
Did it squeak, or was it wet?
302
00:12:11,772 --> 00:12:12,773
It sounded wet.
303
00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:15,943
Classic Kurt. Shit on another hotel phone.
304
00:12:16,026 --> 00:12:17,945
[dance music plays]
305
00:12:24,118 --> 00:12:25,118
[Andrew] Wow!
306
00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:28,122
Incredible.
307
00:12:28,205 --> 00:12:30,416
Was that last one
a guy filling out a bank loan?
308
00:12:30,499 --> 00:12:32,460
Close. It was a declaration
of bankruptcy.
309
00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:33,961
You can't do nothing to him now.
310
00:12:34,044 --> 00:12:36,714
- Andrew, come sit with me.
- Um... Okay.
311
00:12:36,797 --> 00:12:40,134
I wanna see those pasty-white thighs
spread across the dock.
312
00:12:40,217 --> 00:12:42,470
- Okay.
- Your knees look like dry biscuits.
313
00:12:42,553 --> 00:12:43,888
- Thank you?
- I dunno, man,
314
00:12:43,971 --> 00:12:45,639
I can't get a read on this chick.
315
00:12:45,723 --> 00:12:48,768
My sexual detector doesn't have
a horny-cousin setting.
316
00:12:48,851 --> 00:12:51,771
What's cool about a piss pop is that
they're frozen and they're your piss.
317
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:55,107
And if someone eat one,
then they have your piss in their stomach.
318
00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:58,027
Uh-huh, and a piss pop,
that's a Florida delicacy?
319
00:12:58,110 --> 00:13:01,447
Hey, sweet lips, you think anyone
would ever look for you?
320
00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:02,740
If... What... Where... If...
321
00:13:02,823 --> 00:13:05,302
How many people do you think are
at the bottom of that canal right now?
322
00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:07,119
I don't know, twe... twelve?
323
00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:09,163
- For now.
- Ah, is she...
324
00:13:09,246 --> 00:13:10,998
Threatenin' to kill ya? I don't know.
325
00:13:11,081 --> 00:13:12,917
These Florida girls are hard to read.
326
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,795
So, what's going on at your school?
327
00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:17,755
Are you guys doing hand jobs and stuff?
328
00:13:17,838 --> 00:13:20,424
Either she wants you,
or she swallowed a roll of quarters.
329
00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:22,384
No, she doesn't, she's my cousin.
330
00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:24,929
Maybe she's just fucking with me.
Maybe that's her thing.
331
00:13:25,012 --> 00:13:27,014
Maybe it gets her off,
to fuck with her own cousin.
332
00:13:27,097 --> 00:13:28,849
Well, everyone's doing 'em here.
333
00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:32,019
[gasps] Could you imagine
if I gave you a hand job?
334
00:13:32,102 --> 00:13:33,938
- [chuckles]
- Our dads would be so pissed.
335
00:13:34,021 --> 00:13:36,732
- Would they... be there?
- Do you want them to be?
336
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:37,858
[whirring]
337
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:39,443
Great! She broke the thingy.
338
00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:41,195
You wanna give me a hand job?
339
00:13:41,278 --> 00:13:42,655
Ew, no! [laughs]
340
00:13:42,738 --> 00:13:45,783
- You're my cousin!
- You're my cousin, I know!
341
00:13:45,866 --> 00:13:47,117
What... People are nuts!
342
00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:49,829
I'm just talking about sucking your tongue
down my throat.
343
00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:51,640
- Holy shit!
- Dude, we gotta get outta here.
344
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,749
Vicki just showed me
her stepdaddy's corpse.
345
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:56,752
One of my stepdaddies'.
Hey, if we ain't gonna sink a boat,
346
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,516
let's go spill SpaghettiOs
on a baby's head
347
00:13:58,587 --> 00:14:00,130
and wait for a dog to come lick it up.
348
00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:03,008
Let's go, girls. I got a business meeting.
349
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:07,388
Selling old Four Lokos in that community
college parking lot is not a business!
350
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,265
- What do you know?
- Boys, boys, please.-
351
00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:10,683
You're both disappointments.
352
00:14:10,766 --> 00:14:13,269
- See you at the Seder, cuz.
- Oh, boy.
353
00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:16,063
Yeah, and I'll see you too, Nick.
You better watch your ass,
354
00:14:16,146 --> 00:14:18,357
you little Beverly Hills Chihuahua bitch.
355
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:19,525
[tires squealing]
356
00:14:20,150 --> 00:14:22,236
Andrew, I think Vicki might wanna kill me.
357
00:14:22,319 --> 00:14:25,489
That's cool. I think Cherry might wanna
suck my tongue down her throat.
358
00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:28,117
- Ew, gross, she's your cousin.
- I know!
359
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:29,910
But, hey, um... remind me,
360
00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:32,055
why's it so frowned upon
to hook up with your cousin?
361
00:14:32,079 --> 00:14:33,839
- Are you serious?
- I don't... I don't know.
362
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,541
Because your fathers are brothers.
363
00:14:35,624 --> 00:14:38,586
Because when you say Grandma,
you're talking about the same woman.
364
00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:40,189
Hey, let's not bring Bubsie into this.
365
00:14:40,254 --> 00:14:43,757
Unless you wanna bring Bubsie into this.
Sounds like all bets are off, baby.
366
00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:46,677
Now, what about kissing cousins?
That's a term I've heard.
367
00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:49,972
Well, here's another term I've heard,
and I say it without judgment,
368
00:14:50,055 --> 00:14:52,683
- but here it is, incest.
- [banjo playing]
369
00:14:52,766 --> 00:14:55,519
Oh. The banjo thing's
a little regionalist,
370
00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:57,396
but are those letters fucking each other?
371
00:14:57,479 --> 00:14:59,315
Oh, God, you're right, Nick, it's incest.
372
00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:01,198
I can't go back to school
and when people ask,
373
00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:04,111
"How was your spring break?",
I say, "Oh, it was fine, I had incest."
374
00:15:04,194 --> 00:15:05,404
Please put the word away now.
375
00:15:05,487 --> 00:15:08,824
That's the thing, Andrew. Once that word
is out there, you can't put it away.
376
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,534
I don't know, I think the word is cute.
377
00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:12,369
Oh, now it's trying to breastfeed.
378
00:15:12,453 --> 00:15:15,414
Ooh, it's got a strong latch,
think it's all the extra teeth.
379
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:16,457
[ringing]
380
00:15:16,540 --> 00:15:18,208
Hey, honey. How's Florida?
381
00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:19,960
It's actually crazy here.
382
00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:23,130
I watched a dog lick SpaghettiOs
off a baby's head.
383
00:15:23,213 --> 00:15:24,900
- It was pretty... cra... crazy...
- [laughing]
384
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,443
- Uh-huh.
- Mom, are you even listening?
385
00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:28,677
What? Oh, sorry, sweetie.
I have to pick a card.
386
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:29,595
- What?
- Hey, Nick!
387
00:15:29,678 --> 00:15:30,678
What's Jay doing there?
388
00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:32,973
He's doing magic,
and I'm his lovely assistant.
389
00:15:33,057 --> 00:15:35,559
I hate this.
I... I... I really hate what I'm seeing.
390
00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:38,604
Jay is staying with us
while his parents are away.
391
00:15:38,687 --> 00:15:40,527
Why can't you put him up
in, like, a dog hotel?
392
00:15:40,564 --> 00:15:41,398
What? [laughs]
393
00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:43,400
Dude, if I lived here,
I would never leave.
394
00:15:43,484 --> 00:15:45,861
The food is great.
Your family's full of love.
395
00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:47,947
Miss Diane Mommy,
please pick a card.
396
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:50,342
- Bye, sweetie. We love you.
- Your bed is super comfortable.
397
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:52,743
What? No!
Don't let him near my pillow.
398
00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:55,996
- Ugh.
- A year goes by, no blood to let...
399
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:59,041
Well, it has been four months
since I've had my period.
400
00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:02,586
The change is coming, Barbara!
401
00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:03,921
The change?
402
00:16:04,004 --> 00:16:07,591
Hot flashes, insomnia, my mood swings...
403
00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:09,468
[gasps] Are you menopause?
404
00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:13,180
Menopause Banshee, 'tis my name
405
00:16:13,263 --> 00:16:16,225
Wreaking havoc is my game!
406
00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:17,476
[cackles]
407
00:16:17,559 --> 00:16:20,813
White fish on a Triscuit!
I'm not ready for menopause.
408
00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:22,815
[snoring]
409
00:16:22,898 --> 00:16:26,110
You know, if you do take a bath
with Cherry, you gotta do it in here.
410
00:16:26,193 --> 00:16:28,237
Non-slide surface, a safety rail,
411
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,864
you could really jackhammer
your blood relative in here.
412
00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:32,574
I'm not going to jackhammer Cherry.
413
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:34,378
Nick's right,
this whole thing is too weird.
414
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:36,704
Oh, please, we're talkin'
about kissing your cousin,
415
00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:38,163
not shtupping your sister.
416
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:39,790
- I don't have a sister.
- Exactly.
417
00:16:39,873 --> 00:16:42,154
We've only got the cousin,
let's work with what we've got.
418
00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:44,253
Marty? Are you still awake?
419
00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:47,589
How can I sleep?
It's 95 degrees in here.
420
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:50,259
Do you think I'm past my prime?
421
00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:52,594
Past your prime?
What are you, stupid?
422
00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:56,056
You are as sexy
as the day you hit my car.
423
00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:57,766
Oh, you're just saying that.
424
00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,518
Oh, yeah? Then tell me,
425
00:16:59,601 --> 00:17:02,229
why is my egg roll
full of duck sauce?
426
00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:05,858
Oh, Marty!
What about your father and the boys?
427
00:17:05,941 --> 00:17:07,526
Ah, they're sound asleep.
428
00:17:07,609 --> 00:17:11,113
And I've got an extra order
of moo shu pork!
429
00:17:11,196 --> 00:17:14,450
Oh, Marty,
your dumplings are so big.
430
00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:17,369
[Marty] They're stuffed
with ground chicken.
431
00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:20,039
[groans] I am sorry, but I can't do it.
432
00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:21,290
It just seems wrong.
433
00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:23,125
Wrong? We're in Florida.
434
00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:25,377
The state bird is a chicken finger.
435
00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:27,212
It is a pretty crazy place.
436
00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:28,756
Brother... [chuckles]
437
00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:30,382
Anything goes in Florida.
438
00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:32,426
- [hard rock music]
- Hello, Lakeland!
439
00:17:32,509 --> 00:17:35,471
Y'all ready to rock in the Sunshine State?
440
00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:39,391
♪ They got rednecks wrestlin' pythons ♪
441
00:17:39,475 --> 00:17:42,603
♪ They got drunk girls goin' wild ♪
442
00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:46,023
♪ Party with margaritavillers
And serial killers ♪
443
00:17:46,106 --> 00:17:48,609
♪ While you watch a gator eat a child ♪
444
00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:52,488
♪ They proudly lead the nation
In public masturbation ♪
445
00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:55,115
♪ They're jerkin' off all over the place ♪
446
00:17:55,407 --> 00:17:58,786
♪ Forget the Key lime pie
Let's get a bath salt high ♪
447
00:17:58,869 --> 00:18:01,663
♪ And munch on a stranger's fa-a-ace ♪
448
00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:05,000
♪ Because anything goes in Florida ♪
449
00:18:05,292 --> 00:18:07,669
♪ Come on down and do your worst ♪
450
00:18:08,045 --> 00:18:11,256
♪ Snort a rail off a dolphin
Naked and a-golfin' ♪
451
00:18:11,673 --> 00:18:14,343
♪ Chances are you won't be the first ♪
452
00:18:14,426 --> 00:18:16,512
♪ Doin' anything, anywhere
453
00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:20,599
♪ Any time in FLA ♪
454
00:18:20,682 --> 00:18:23,811
♪ They got meth labs and Magic Kingdoms ♪
455
00:18:23,894 --> 00:18:26,772
♪ Titty bars and the KKK ♪
456
00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:30,651
♪ And when shit goes down
You can stand your ground ♪
457
00:18:30,734 --> 00:18:33,445
♪ And blow your neighbor away ♪
458
00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:36,365
♪ Because anything goes in Florida ♪
459
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,785
♪ Baby, let the good times roll ♪
460
00:18:39,868 --> 00:18:43,288
♪ If there's a law, you can duck it
If you catch it, you can fuck it ♪
461
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:46,125
♪ It's America's glory hole ♪
462
00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:50,462
♪ Talkin' anything, anywhere
Any night and any day ♪
463
00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:52,923
♪ In FLA ♪
464
00:18:53,006 --> 00:18:55,008
[howls]
465
00:18:55,509 --> 00:18:56,669
Wow, did you write that song?
466
00:18:56,718 --> 00:18:58,178
Yeah. I mean, Vince Neil helped.
467
00:18:58,262 --> 00:18:59,822
- Legitimately good song.
- Thanks, man.
468
00:18:59,888 --> 00:19:01,890
And it makes a good point.
You know what, Maury?
469
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:02,975
I'm gonna do it.
470
00:19:03,058 --> 00:19:05,811
I'm gonna french
my grandma's granddaughter.
471
00:19:05,894 --> 00:19:06,728
Whoop-whoop!
472
00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:07,812
[birdsong]
473
00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:10,592
[Nick] I can't believe we're eating dinner
at four o'clock.
474
00:19:10,649 --> 00:19:14,611
Oh, Nick, the Seder meal won't be served
for another three to four hours.
475
00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:15,612
- What?
- But don't worry.
476
00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:18,866
In about an hour and a half,
you'll get a slab of cold gefilte fish.
477
00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:19,989
- Okay.
- Which tastes like
478
00:19:20,033 --> 00:19:21,827
the baby changing station at SeaWorld.
479
00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:23,203
Oh, that sounds horrible.
480
00:19:23,287 --> 00:19:25,289
It is. It's all horrible.
481
00:19:25,372 --> 00:19:27,040
- Ooh! There she is.
- [laughing]
482
00:19:27,124 --> 00:19:29,960
You should pack her poon
with your fat macaroon.
483
00:19:30,043 --> 00:19:31,128
Happy Passover.
484
00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:34,882
- [gasps]
- Your womb is dry, like matzo meal.
485
00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:35,799
But soon you'll...
486
00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:38,594
Oh, stop it, okay?
I'm not ready to be old.
487
00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:42,472
For your information,
last night, I made love to my husband.
488
00:19:42,556 --> 00:19:45,475
I had two helpings of moo shu pork! Two!
489
00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:48,520
Yes, I watched, raw dog and all.
490
00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:53,025
No fear of pregnancy
at the Banshee's Ball!
491
00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:56,486
You know, it was a relief
not to worry about birth control.
492
00:19:56,570 --> 00:19:59,198
This next chapter's yours to live
493
00:19:59,281 --> 00:20:01,950
And now you have no fucks to give!
494
00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:02,868
[cackles]
495
00:20:02,951 --> 00:20:07,706
Your son wants to tongue your niece!
496
00:20:07,789 --> 00:20:10,417
What? What? I didn't get that last part!
497
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:12,211
Ma nishtana
498
00:20:12,294 --> 00:20:14,588
- halilah hazeh...
- Mm.
499
00:20:14,671 --> 00:20:17,549
- ...mikol haleilot...
- [chuckles]
500
00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:20,761
I don't think this is
what your ancestors intended, Andrew.
501
00:20:20,844 --> 00:20:23,847
Hey, cuz, you wanna come
wander the desert with me?
502
00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:25,766
Oh, my God, it's happening.
This is happening.
503
00:20:25,849 --> 00:20:29,603
♪ We're gonna cross a line
We're gonna cross a line ♪
504
00:20:29,686 --> 00:20:32,189
Nick, we gotta get outta here.
Where's that little swamp rat?
505
00:20:32,272 --> 00:20:34,024
- She scares me.
- Exactly.
506
00:20:34,107 --> 00:20:35,359
It's like Kanye tweeted,
507
00:20:35,442 --> 00:20:39,112
"Do one thing every day
that scares your housekeeper."
508
00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:42,991
So, as is tradition,
I have hidden a piece of matzo.
509
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:45,661
Whoever finds the afikomen this year...
510
00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:47,829
gets my condo when I die.
511
00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:49,498
- What?
- I pay for that condo!
512
00:20:49,581 --> 00:20:51,541
Well, I live there
five nights a week!
513
00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:53,252
- [arguing]
- Marty, he's just trying
514
00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:55,504
to pit you and Skip against each other.
515
00:20:55,587 --> 00:20:57,381
- It's mine!
- Not if I find it first!
516
00:20:57,464 --> 00:20:59,466
- The hell you will!
- Cold. Colder.
517
00:20:59,549 --> 00:21:00,884
Me now with the hot and the cold.
518
00:21:00,968 --> 00:21:02,928
Your nuts just froze off. [chuckles]
519
00:21:03,011 --> 00:21:05,889
All right, I'll give you schmucks a hint.
It ain't in this room.
520
00:21:05,973 --> 00:21:08,117
That means it's in another room.
All right, move! Move!
521
00:21:08,141 --> 00:21:10,435
- Hello, Vicki.
- You wanna go suck gas out of a Jeep?
522
00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:12,020
- Um...
- Wanna go to Piggly Wiggly
523
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:13,957
- and slice up a bunch of milk gallons?
- Maybe.
524
00:21:13,981 --> 00:21:16,525
Mm, I know what you want, fuck face.
Y'all wanna sink a boat.
525
00:21:16,608 --> 00:21:19,695
You know what? Yeah.
Let's go sink a fuckin' boat.
526
00:21:19,778 --> 00:21:21,029
Ooh, yeah!
527
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:24,157
♪ Anything goes in Florida ♪
528
00:21:24,783 --> 00:21:26,201
- Jay?
- Where are you, sweetie?
529
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,036
Your family said
they'd be back around six.
530
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:29,120
[thumping]
531
00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:35,877
- Jay, is everything okay?
- Yeah, totally.
532
00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:38,630
I'm just, uh...
packin' up my stuff, you know?
533
00:21:38,714 --> 00:21:40,841
Maybe he doesn't have
to go home right now.
534
00:21:40,924 --> 00:21:42,801
Elliot, he has a family.
535
00:21:42,884 --> 00:21:44,219
- Does he?
- [sighs]
536
00:21:44,511 --> 00:21:48,098
Jay, honey, would you like to stay here
for a few more days?
537
00:21:48,181 --> 00:21:50,642
Is this a trick
to get me out from under the bed?
538
00:21:50,726 --> 00:21:52,894
No, we'll talk to your parents
and work it out.
539
00:21:52,978 --> 00:21:56,231
Really? So I can just live here
until college?
540
00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:57,816
Yeah, no,
that's not what's happening.
541
00:21:57,899 --> 00:21:59,819
Yeah, who am I kidding?
I'm not going to college.
542
00:21:59,860 --> 00:22:02,946
Oh, I'm gonna miss him
when he doesn't go to college.
543
00:22:03,780 --> 00:22:05,824
Oh, here? In Zaide's room?
544
00:22:05,907 --> 00:22:08,118
Sure, I mean, he doesn't use the bed.
545
00:22:08,577 --> 00:22:10,245
[gasps] His newspapers!
546
00:22:10,329 --> 00:22:11,455
Why don't you come join me?
547
00:22:11,538 --> 00:22:12,581
Under the covers?
548
00:22:12,664 --> 00:22:14,624
You know, this is the bed
where Bubsie died.
549
00:22:14,708 --> 00:22:16,710
Her wig is still under the pillow.
550
00:22:16,793 --> 00:22:19,296
Oh, I told you Bubsie would be
a part of this.
551
00:22:19,379 --> 00:22:22,758
- Put it on.
- Okay, this is crazy. This is crazy.
552
00:22:22,841 --> 00:22:25,302
She might be fucking with you,
but I think we love it.
553
00:22:25,385 --> 00:22:27,220
[chuckles] Do the voice.
554
00:22:27,304 --> 00:22:30,098
These Palestinians, they deserve bubkis.
555
00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:32,309
- Oh, God, come here!
- [yelps]
556
00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:37,689
I believe there is a two-state solution,
but this, this is beautiful.
557
00:22:38,023 --> 00:22:39,775
So, uh... So what's the plan here?
558
00:22:39,858 --> 00:22:42,027
Kick a hole in it?
Drop a big rock on it?
559
00:22:42,110 --> 00:22:44,863
Well, I got this pipe bomb
I been savin' for Easter.
560
00:22:45,322 --> 00:22:46,823
- Holy...
- Shit!
561
00:22:46,907 --> 00:22:49,534
- [moaning]
- Oh, it's like grabbing my own ass.
562
00:22:49,618 --> 00:22:52,412
Yeah, I got a nice big solid seat,
don't I?
563
00:22:53,705 --> 00:22:54,831
- Andrew!
- [both gasp]
564
00:22:54,915 --> 00:22:56,833
What the fuck is goin' on in here?
565
00:22:56,917 --> 00:22:59,127
And why are you wearing Bubsie's wig?
566
00:22:59,211 --> 00:23:01,421
- My newspapers!
- Andrew, were you kissing your cousin?
567
00:23:01,505 --> 00:23:04,299
Don't look at me!
Everyone leave! Get amnesia!
568
00:23:04,383 --> 00:23:05,425
[laughs]
569
00:23:05,509 --> 00:23:07,177
Look at how shocked you all are.
570
00:23:07,260 --> 00:23:09,596
Your pervert son
groped my daughter!
571
00:23:09,679 --> 00:23:12,265
Hey, only I get
to call my son a pervert.
572
00:23:12,349 --> 00:23:13,767
Oh, yeah? Take that.
573
00:23:13,850 --> 00:23:16,728
Whoever wins gets the ultimate prize.
My newspapers!
574
00:23:16,812 --> 00:23:17,813
Come on, no shoes.
575
00:23:19,940 --> 00:23:23,151
- Huh?
- Ooh, dang! That's how you sink a boat!
576
00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:24,569
Yes, it is.
577
00:23:27,155 --> 00:23:28,240
Huh?
578
00:23:30,450 --> 00:23:33,120
- No fair strangling.
- No, no, no!
579
00:23:33,203 --> 00:23:35,038
[yells] Stop it!
580
00:23:35,122 --> 00:23:36,456
[screeches]
581
00:23:38,041 --> 00:23:39,751
I'm hot, and I'm sweaty,
582
00:23:39,835 --> 00:23:42,212
and life is too short for this shit!
583
00:23:44,297 --> 00:23:46,716
Sinkhole comin'.
You better run, Romeo.
584
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:48,760
Marty, let go of your brother!
585
00:23:48,844 --> 00:23:50,762
Andrew, let go of your cousin!
586
00:23:50,846 --> 00:23:54,558
We are gettin' the hell outta
this GD shithole
587
00:23:54,641 --> 00:23:56,059
with these terrible people!
588
00:23:56,143 --> 00:23:58,562
Are you gonna let your wife
talk to me that way?
589
00:23:58,645 --> 00:24:01,898
- My wife can do whatever she wants.
- What?
590
00:24:01,982 --> 00:24:05,152
'Cause she's one hot number six combo.
591
00:24:05,235 --> 00:24:06,403
What the hell is that?
592
00:24:06,486 --> 00:24:08,864
General Tsao's chicken,
with a spring roll,
593
00:24:08,947 --> 00:24:10,699
and your choice of soft drink.
594
00:24:10,782 --> 00:24:12,659
Oh, Marty, that's your favorite.
595
00:24:12,742 --> 00:24:14,870
- No, you are.
- Aww!
596
00:24:14,953 --> 00:24:19,040
Andrew, let your cousin go!
597
00:24:19,791 --> 00:24:21,460
No, Cherry!
598
00:24:21,835 --> 00:24:23,879
No, I didn't get to finish.
599
00:24:27,090 --> 00:24:28,425
Oh, no, it got me!
600
00:24:28,508 --> 00:24:32,637
We sank a boooooat!
601
00:24:33,430 --> 00:24:35,056
Hey, guys, much like your ancestors,
602
00:24:35,140 --> 00:24:37,780
I think we should get the hell out,
not wait for the bread to rise.
603
00:24:37,809 --> 00:24:39,311
He listened to my story.
604
00:24:39,394 --> 00:24:41,229
Vamoose your caboose! All of you!
605
00:24:41,313 --> 00:24:42,856
- [rumbling]
- ♪ Gloria ♪
606
00:24:42,939 --> 00:24:44,524
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.
607
00:24:44,608 --> 00:24:46,109
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.
608
00:24:46,651 --> 00:24:47,944
Cherry!
609
00:24:48,028 --> 00:24:50,447
- Andrew, get in the car.
- But I love her.
610
00:24:50,530 --> 00:24:54,117
- Gross, you're my cousin.
- I know, I'm kidding, as if.
611
00:24:54,201 --> 00:24:55,869
- [both grunt]
- Floor it, Mr. Glouberman!
612
00:25:00,123 --> 00:25:01,458
- [screams]
- Tidal wave!
613
00:25:01,541 --> 00:25:04,336
This day, we need to part the sea
614
00:25:04,669 --> 00:25:08,215
Banshee, lend your power to me!
615
00:25:08,298 --> 00:25:10,300
[screeching]
616
00:25:11,885 --> 00:25:13,303
[cackling]
617
00:25:13,386 --> 00:25:14,596
♪ Gloria ♪
618
00:25:15,138 --> 00:25:17,057
♪ Gloria ♪
619
00:25:17,140 --> 00:25:18,183
[chuckling]
620
00:25:21,895 --> 00:25:24,231
First of all, I forgot my watch.
621
00:25:24,314 --> 00:25:26,650
Second of all, I love ya, Barbara.
622
00:25:26,733 --> 00:25:29,236
[sighs] Let's go home, Marty.
623
00:25:29,319 --> 00:25:31,029
I told you someone was gonna die.
624
00:25:31,112 --> 00:25:32,739
I didn't know everyone was gonna die.
625
00:25:32,822 --> 00:25:34,950
- Holy shit.
- Did that just really happen?
626
00:25:35,033 --> 00:25:36,409
No, cookie puss.
627
00:25:36,493 --> 00:25:38,286
It's like the Bible, it's a metaphor.
628
00:25:38,370 --> 00:25:39,704
A metaphor for what?
629
00:25:39,788 --> 00:25:42,207
For Florida, baby. Hit it, Maury!
630
00:25:42,290 --> 00:25:45,794
- ♪ Because anything goes in Florida ♪
- [horn honking]
631
00:25:45,877 --> 00:25:48,421
♪ Come on down and do your worst ♪
632
00:25:48,505 --> 00:25:52,133
♪ Snort a rail off a dolphin
Naked and a-golfin' ♪
633
00:25:52,217 --> 00:25:54,886
♪ Chances are you won't be the first ♪
634
00:25:54,970 --> 00:25:57,138
♪ Doin' anything, anywhere ♪
635
00:25:57,222 --> 00:26:01,017
♪ Any time in FLA ♪
636
00:26:01,393 --> 00:26:04,229
♪ They got meth labs and Magic Kingdoms ♪
637
00:26:04,604 --> 00:26:07,232
♪ Titty bars and the KKK ♪
638
00:26:07,732 --> 00:26:09,568
♪ And when shit goes down ♪
639
00:26:09,651 --> 00:26:11,152
♪ You can stand your ground ♪
640
00:26:11,236 --> 00:26:13,989
♪ And blow your neighbor away ♪
641
00:26:14,072 --> 00:26:17,284
♪ Because anything goes in Florida ♪
642
00:26:17,659 --> 00:26:20,161
♪ Baby, let the good times roll ♪
643
00:26:20,245 --> 00:26:23,790
♪ If there's a law, you can duck it
If you catch it, you can fuck it ♪
644
00:26:23,873 --> 00:26:26,585
♪ It's America's glory hole ♪
645
00:26:27,419 --> 00:26:29,838
Haha. Good At Bizness.
646
00:26:29,921 --> 00:26:31,214
[kazoo plays]
647
00:26:31,923 --> 00:26:33,842
- Chirp.
- Fathouse.