1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,000 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 2 00:00:07,216 --> 00:00:09,176 All right, let's see. How does this thing work? 3 00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:11,303 Let me just get... 4 00:00:11,386 --> 00:00:12,596 Yeah, got it. 5 00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:15,641 Finally. Now we can watch our first porn. 6 00:00:15,724 --> 00:00:18,018 Missy! 7 00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:21,521 I'll never love anyone again, and no one will ever love me. 8 00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:25,275 Ohh, Andrew, you know I really don't like seeing weakness. 9 00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:27,194 - I'm not crying. - Uh-huh. 10 00:00:27,277 --> 00:00:30,656 Maybe if I die, she'll feel bad and take me back. 11 00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:34,743 Good idea. Or we could watch the Sylvester Stallone porn. 12 00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:36,203 "The Italian Stallion, 13 00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:39,164 the story of two young lovers beefing in a gross motel." 14 00:00:39,248 --> 00:00:43,377 Two young lovers? Oh, Missy, why did you break up with us? 15 00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:44,753 Goddamn it. 16 00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:46,505 Well, well, well, a hole. 17 00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:50,175 Ooh! And crotch level, no less. Mmm, yes, please. 18 00:00:50,759 --> 00:00:54,179 All right, once I press play, our lives will be changed forever. 19 00:00:54,263 --> 00:00:56,765 I literally do not care about anything. 20 00:00:56,848 --> 00:00:59,935 Hey, before we start, I want you boys to meet my fiancée, Candice. 21 00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:01,603 She's absolutely perfect. 22 00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:04,648 I mean, the only downside is the dick splinters. 23 00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:09,820 Hey, Kitty, you wanna hop on this stallion or what? 24 00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:13,657 - Sure, but I only ride bareback. - Oh, yeah, great. 25 00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:15,284 - Hoo hoo! - Whoa... 26 00:01:15,367 --> 00:01:18,328 Oh, yes. Oh, this is great. You're great. 27 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,871 - Is it great? - Oh, that's great. 28 00:01:19,955 --> 00:01:21,915 Hey, Kitty, you gotta do one thing for me. 29 00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:24,209 - What? - Stroke the shaft, cup the balls. 30 00:01:24,293 --> 00:01:25,961 Whoa... 31 00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:29,423 Adrian! 32 00:02:02,706 --> 00:02:07,336 All right. Wrestling is apparently not what we're doing here today. 33 00:02:07,419 --> 00:02:09,921 It's a field trip to the police department. 34 00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:12,132 Matthew, you clearly lied to me. 35 00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:15,844 The man rode on a bus for 20 minutes in a wrestling singlet 36 00:02:15,927 --> 00:02:17,346 and didn't ask a single question. 37 00:02:17,429 --> 00:02:19,806 I don't think I can keep my balls to one side. 38 00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:21,600 I really think I'm gonna have to spread 'em. 39 00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:24,269 All right, kids. Welcome to the Bridgeton Police Department. 40 00:02:24,353 --> 00:02:25,687 Yes, son. Do you have a question? 41 00:02:25,771 --> 00:02:28,482 Oh. Nah. I just keep my hands up in a police station. 42 00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:31,026 - You know, 'cause, uh, duh. - That's a good call. 43 00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:33,779 Hey, guys. Check it out, my first zit. 44 00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:36,740 I guess watching The Italian Stallion knocked something loose... 45 00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:38,075 you know, manhood-wise. 46 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:39,868 Oh, please. You call that a zit? 47 00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:42,954 My crackne's so bad I take Ortho Tri-Cyclen, 48 00:02:43,038 --> 00:02:45,666 which is basically birth control. Ha ha! 49 00:02:45,749 --> 00:02:47,834 Up top. No? Fuck you, guys. 50 00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:51,588 All right, everyone, file in. This is our line up room. 51 00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:53,465 That's one of those two-way mirrors, right? 52 00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:56,009 So I can see them and they can see me? 53 00:02:56,093 --> 00:02:58,553 You are thinking of a window, you orangutan. 54 00:02:58,637 --> 00:03:00,222 Matthew, cutting deep. 55 00:03:01,390 --> 00:03:04,142 - Oh, hi... hi, Andrew. - Oh. Hi, Missy. 56 00:03:04,226 --> 00:03:06,520 Okay, kids, let's see those profiles. 57 00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:10,148 I was, um, just hoping that, um, maybe we could be friends? 58 00:03:10,232 --> 00:03:15,362 Oh, Missy, I can't be your friend and just pretend I don't love you. 59 00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:18,698 And then what? Someday I get an invitation to your wedding, 60 00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:21,410 and I watch you marry a guy named Joel. 61 00:03:21,493 --> 00:03:23,161 What do you see in Joel? 62 00:03:23,245 --> 00:03:25,414 I guess he's an architect. He's a good man. 63 00:03:25,497 --> 00:03:27,541 Missy, I'm happy for you. 64 00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:31,294 Sarge, we just found another dead body with their ponytail cut off. 65 00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,588 - The Ponytail Killer strikes again. - Damn it! 66 00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:35,382 Hold on. Is that what we're calling him? 67 00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:38,260 'Cause I thought we were going with the Ponytail Prowler? 68 00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:41,388 - Why prowler? He's not a cat burglar. - I like alliteration. 69 00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:44,141 How about Ponytail, uh... Person? 70 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,101 That's nothing. That's a nothing nickname. 71 00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:48,145 Enough! Women are dying! 72 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:51,106 Now I want a catchy nickname on my desk by the end of the day. 73 00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:55,193 So this is our crime lab. It's where we analyze genetic evidence. 74 00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:56,528 Can I have a volunteer? 75 00:03:56,611 --> 00:03:59,448 How about you, the child with the puffy lifeless eyes. 76 00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:02,367 Your results might be tainted because I'm empty inside. 77 00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:05,579 You guys realize DNA is a hoax created by gay scientists, right? 78 00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:07,664 Stop quoting your dad's law commercials. 79 00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:10,542 - Oh, yeah? Maybe I will stop. - Don't you dare. 80 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:18,467 - Oh, yeah, my mouth is sopping wet. - No, no, don't talk, don't talk. 81 00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:24,181 Hey, that's the old pet cemetery where my dad is buried. 82 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,265 Whoa! 83 00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:29,269 That's Carole from my Curves gym who yells at me for not being female. 84 00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:32,773 And that's the bus driver with the pretty, pretty ponytail. 85 00:04:32,856 --> 00:04:34,441 What a coinkydink. 86 00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:37,486 Sir, if you don't mind, we'd like to ask you a few questions. 87 00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:39,696 Me? A legit hang sesh? 88 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:42,240 Spoiler alert, I'm your guy. 89 00:04:42,324 --> 00:04:44,576 Yeah, you just might be. 90 00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,037 - Wait, wait. - What? 91 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:50,582 Hey, I'm not complaining or anything, but why do you keep kissing me? 92 00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:53,251 I'm just acting out because my parents are getting divorced. Don't stop. 93 00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:57,672 - Got it. But I crave emotional intimacy. - Oh, boy. 94 00:04:57,756 --> 00:05:00,425 Because my parents have a no-touch policy with me. 95 00:05:00,509 --> 00:05:02,969 So I don't really feel human contact at all. 96 00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:05,013 - Oh, God. - Unless I trick people into touching me, 97 00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:07,432 like, by pretending to be falling down or something. 98 00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:10,477 - What? - I think I want more of a relationship. 99 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:12,187 - Does that sound gay? - Um... 100 00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:14,397 Baby, you gotta throw this boy a bone. 101 00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:17,859 Anything to make him start frenching you again. 102 00:05:17,943 --> 00:05:21,530 - Fine. One date. - Yes! Fuck yeah! 103 00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:23,698 Now smooch up on him. 104 00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:28,269 Oh, look at those adorable little fingers. 105 00:05:28,270 --> 00:05:30,455 I can't stand being so close to her. 106 00:05:30,539 --> 00:05:32,374 You know what might make you feel better? 107 00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:34,876 Going home and watching porn again? 108 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,796 Ah, yes. The student has become the master. 109 00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:39,422 Oh, that would make a pretty good porn. 110 00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,841 Hey, Andrew, who's that, like, creature you're friends with? 111 00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:43,134 The... the puberty guy? 112 00:05:43,218 --> 00:05:44,886 - The hormone monster? - Yeah. 113 00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:47,639 Now that I have this zit, I feel like we should have a chat. 114 00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:49,724 He wants to talk to you. 115 00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:52,852 So, what makes you think you'd be a good candidate for puberty? 116 00:05:52,936 --> 00:05:55,605 Well, I'm almost 13, I have kissed two girls, 117 00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:58,942 and, of course... the old Yellowstone Caldera here. 118 00:05:59,025 --> 00:05:59,985 Nice callback. 119 00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:03,363 So I know you, uh, recently watched The Italian Stallion. 120 00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:04,614 Did you cum? 121 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,283 Oh, yeah. Big time. 122 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:07,826 Oh, yeah? And what did that feel like? 123 00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:10,829 Like puncturing a Capri Sun on the first try? 124 00:06:10,912 --> 00:06:13,290 Okay. I think we're done here. 125 00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:15,458 Give me a call in, like, I don't know, two years. 126 00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:19,296 - Oh, come on, please. What about the zit? - Oh, right. Yeah, let me see that. 127 00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:21,423 - Ow! - Look, your zit just came 128 00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:23,967 more than you ever have. 129 00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,719 He was totally unreasonable 130 00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:29,014 and he was, like, eating pistachios the whole time, which felt rude. 131 00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:31,600 Yeah, he loves pistachios. I mean, he's a weird guy. 132 00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:32,723 So I gotta go. 133 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,269 Hold on. Aren't you coming over? 134 00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:39,316 No, I have plans. I'm... I'm going to my, um, aunt's wedding. 135 00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:40,775 Your aunt's getting married on a Thursday? 136 00:06:40,859 --> 00:06:42,527 Yeah, she's cheap. Cheap lady. 137 00:06:42,611 --> 00:06:44,696 - Okay, let's hang out tomorrow. - Okay. 138 00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:46,448 Nice lie, baby. 139 00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:49,868 I mean, the kid had no idea that your aunt died years ago 140 00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:54,205 after a slow miserable battle with cancer. Ha ha! Idiot. 141 00:06:56,708 --> 00:06:58,209 Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing? 142 00:06:58,293 --> 00:07:01,630 What? We're gonna watch the porn, so I can forget about Missy. 143 00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:02,797 The same one? 144 00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:04,549 Oh, my little sweet potato, 145 00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:07,135 there's a whole world of pornography out there. 146 00:07:07,218 --> 00:07:09,012 In fact, you can trace erotica 147 00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:12,015 all the way back to the early Paleolithic cave drawings. 148 00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:14,059 - Whoa. - What's your safe word again? 149 00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:16,853 Honestly, I'm embarrassed, but it's "ooga-booga." 150 00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:19,165 In the third century, the Kama Sutra 151 00:07:19,166 --> 00:07:20,166 became the standard go-to jerk work. 152 00:07:20,907 --> 00:07:21,942 Wow. 153 00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:24,819 Sorry, can you just shift a little bit? My leg is cramping. 154 00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:27,781 You're cramping? I'm upside fucking down. 155 00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:29,199 Very well-researched. 156 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:33,244 Video changed the game, and for a while flicks helped us fap. 157 00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:36,289 Did someone order a pizza? 'Cause I already ate it. 158 00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:39,209 Jesus, Ron, are you gonna burp into my pussy again? 159 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:41,836 Why would that guy be in a... Oh, it's quite big. 160 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:45,006 And, finally, the mother of all pornovations... 161 00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:46,466 the internet. 162 00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:49,970 Everything you could ever want, whenever you want it. 163 00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:55,392 Amazing. Oh, but this site says I need to be 18. 164 00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:59,729 I think we're gonna be okay, Andrew. I'm 75 million years old. 165 00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:01,606 Whoa. 166 00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:06,319 - Hi, Andrew. I like your fedora. - Missy. 167 00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:07,404 Hi, hi. 168 00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,990 It's really nice being alone with you. 169 00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:11,908 Andrew, we need to break up. 170 00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:15,620 I want you, Andrew. 171 00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:17,706 - Welcome to jazz club. - Oh, yeah. 172 00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:19,374 See you at school tomorrow. 173 00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:20,875 Seven minutes of... 174 00:08:24,796 --> 00:08:29,300 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 175 00:08:30,552 --> 00:08:32,721 Oh, boy, what a night. 176 00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:34,848 - When did you finally go to sleep? - I didn't. 177 00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:37,976 Oh. Mature group pissing? 178 00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:41,271 I guess I just got a little bored of the solo pissing stuff. 179 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,690 - Uh-huh. Sure, okay. - All right. 180 00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:47,444 I guess I should go to school, even though there's no porn there. 181 00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:48,737 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 182 00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:52,365 You can't leave your room like this. Your mom will mature piss herself. 183 00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:54,159 Oh, yeah, yeah. Good call. 184 00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:55,910 I'm gonna toss all these in the kitchen garbage. 185 00:08:55,994 --> 00:08:59,080 Are you crazy? You gotta go offsite with this biohazard. 186 00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:00,665 Oh, boy. 187 00:09:00,749 --> 00:09:02,834 The synagogue, huh? 188 00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:06,379 I guess the smell of pickled herring will hide the scent of your seed. 189 00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:09,466 - That's exactly what I was thinking. - You're very smart. 190 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:13,511 And chemical bonds that exist between two atoms that share electrons 191 00:09:13,595 --> 00:09:17,515 are called covalent bonds. 192 00:09:17,599 --> 00:09:18,933 - Andrew. - Huh? What? 193 00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:22,270 Can you give us an example of a molecule with a covalent bond? 194 00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:24,606 Um... a big molecule? 195 00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,399 You haven't been listening at all, have you? 196 00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:29,527 You're being very, very bad. 197 00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:34,407 Do you need to be punished, Andrew? 198 00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:38,536 Oh, I need to be punished 'cause I'm a bad little baby. 199 00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:41,790 Why don't you bend me over that desk and spank me on the ass? 200 00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:43,124 Excuse me, Mr. Glouberman? 201 00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:44,248 Oh, hi. 202 00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:47,003 He wants you to spank him on his ass as if he were a baby, 203 00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:49,255 even though he's not actually a baby. 204 00:09:49,339 --> 00:09:51,382 But he wants it over the desk because he's a bad little bitch. 205 00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:55,220 All right, so where were you on the night of August 21? 206 00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:58,056 Let's see. I was home by myself. 207 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:02,268 - What about September 11th? - Oh, my birthday. I was home alone. 208 00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:03,436 September 28th? 209 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,939 I was watching Home Alone at home, alone. 210 00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:09,400 Sir, I gotta tell you, based on your lack of alibi 211 00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:11,903 and your various connections to the victims, 212 00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:14,364 you are currently a person of interest. 213 00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:15,865 So let me get this straight: 214 00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:19,285 you think that I am interesting and also a person? 215 00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:24,958 You're the person, Steve. You have the right to remain awesome. 216 00:10:26,668 --> 00:10:28,294 - Hey, Andrew. - What, Missy? 217 00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:31,631 Oh, well, I just saw what happened in Science class. 218 00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:32,966 Is... is everything okay, Andrew? 219 00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:35,260 Yep. Hunky-dory. Okay, bye. 220 00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:36,469 We're going to my house, right? 221 00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:39,180 No, I gotta go home to the baseball game. 222 00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:40,598 - What? - With my aunt. 223 00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:43,268 Why is your aunt going to a baseball game the day after her wedding? 224 00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:45,728 I don't know, Nick. Why would you suck on a strap-on? 225 00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:49,023 The thing's made of plastic. Who benefits from that? I have to go. 226 00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:50,400 What's going on with Andrew? 227 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:53,528 I don't know, Missy, but I'm pretty sure it's your fault. 228 00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:55,613 Oh, no. I don't doubt it. 229 00:10:57,448 --> 00:10:58,533 All right. 230 00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:01,494 No. What the hell? The Wi-Fi is out. 231 00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:05,290 No big deal. We don't need porn. Let's just use our imaginations. 232 00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:07,167 You remember what tits look like, right? 233 00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:10,545 They're like... like, like round boxes. 234 00:11:11,713 --> 00:11:15,091 - Why doesn't anything in this house work? - Yeah. Why doesn't anything work? 235 00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:17,677 - What are you talking about? - This house sucks. 236 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:20,221 - Yeah, it does suck. - Why is it my fault? 237 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,475 You know who's funny? The Big Bang Theory. 238 00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:28,479 May I offer you a beverage? Ta-da! 239 00:11:28,563 --> 00:11:31,149 Why isn't your magic as annoying as it used to be? 240 00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:34,360 'Cause he looks like a sexy porcupine. 241 00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:37,071 You know, my dad called your dad about being his divorce lawyer. 242 00:11:37,155 --> 00:11:40,742 Oh, boy. Guy Bilzerian is gonna destroy your mom. 243 00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:41,868 She deserves it. 244 00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:45,079 My dad's living in the basement. There's no bathroom down there. 245 00:11:45,163 --> 00:11:47,582 He has to shower in the backyard. It's so sad. 246 00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:50,084 My dad has a shower in his office. 247 00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:52,670 He and his receptionist both have robes there. 248 00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:54,672 Your dad is screwing his receptionist? 249 00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:56,507 Oh, I never thought of it like that. 250 00:11:56,591 --> 00:11:58,051 - Oh, my God. - Fuck. 251 00:11:58,134 --> 00:11:59,260 Both our houses suck. 252 00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:01,971 Yeah. But spending time with you doesn't suck. 253 00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,181 Aww. 254 00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:04,390 Oh, no. 255 00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:10,396 Ponytail. 256 00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:19,822 Oh, Andrew. Are you sick? Have you lost a lot of fluids? 257 00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:21,157 No, Mrs. Birch. I'm fine. 258 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:24,160 He's not fine. A cardiologist knows a broken heart. 259 00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:27,288 - Aww, you poor baby. - And there's only one cure. 260 00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:30,541 A hug from your friend's father while he holds a magazine. 261 00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:32,835 I thought you were going to a baseball game with your aunt? 262 00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:35,171 Oh. Um, a foul ball hit her in the face, 263 00:12:35,254 --> 00:12:36,965 - so she died in 2011. - What? 264 00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:39,175 Can I use your bathroom? Does your bathroom have a lock? 265 00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:41,594 - You wanna use it right now? - Oh, and what's your Wi-Fi password? 266 00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:43,930 Oh, that's "WE LOVE OUR CHILDREN," all caps. 267 00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:47,433 - I gotta go. - Have fun surfing the web. 268 00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:51,729 Oh, Andrew, you make me feel so good. 269 00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:53,648 So can you take your clothes off? 270 00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:56,359 But you must go to my Amazon wish list first 271 00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:58,861 and buy me mini fridge. 272 00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:01,531 You'll take off your clothes if I buy you a mini fridge? 273 00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:05,910 Yes. I'm so hot, but I must be made cold. 274 00:13:07,078 --> 00:13:09,747 Andrew, you okay? Who are you talking to? 275 00:13:09,831 --> 00:13:11,082 Occupied. 276 00:13:11,666 --> 00:13:14,043 Hey, sweetheart, you need to take a break from pornography. 277 00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,838 What? Are you kidding? I thought you were a hormone monster. 278 00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:18,923 Hey, you know I'm all about jacking that stack, 279 00:13:19,007 --> 00:13:22,385 living that horndog life, whoop-whoop! But this is pure compulsion. 280 00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:25,096 You've taken something beautiful and made it ugly. 281 00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:26,973 Well, then get lost, Maury. 282 00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:28,307 Wow, that's cold. 283 00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:29,851 Goodbye, kiddo. 284 00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:31,436 Whoop-whoop. 285 00:13:31,519 --> 00:13:32,937 And then, after all those lies, 286 00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:35,398 he comes over and locks himself in the bathroom. 287 00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:39,485 - It doesn't make any sense. - It's as clear as day. He's doing smack. 288 00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:41,279 I don't know. That doesn't sound like Andrew. 289 00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:44,032 My friend Booger Wheeler got left by a lady. 290 00:13:44,115 --> 00:13:46,325 Sent him straight to the needle. 291 00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:50,455 ♪ And he died with his eyes open wide ♪ 292 00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:52,373 So, what are you saying? It's hopeless? 293 00:13:52,457 --> 00:13:54,792 No. Go save your friend. 294 00:13:54,876 --> 00:13:58,171 Kick down the door, grab his drugs and bring him up here. 295 00:13:58,254 --> 00:14:02,800 ♪ And don't forget to bring a spoon ♪ 296 00:14:03,885 --> 00:14:06,888 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 297 00:14:07,805 --> 00:14:09,640 Oh, Andrew. Hey, great. 298 00:14:09,654 --> 00:14:10,680 Whoa, what the... ? 299 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:13,102 - Why don't you come in here, join us? - Me? 300 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:15,396 Yeah, you. Could it be? Don't know. 301 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:18,483 Adrian, you stole a cookie from the cookie jar. 302 00:14:18,566 --> 00:14:20,610 - Uh, I'm Andrew. - Yeah, this is Cookie. 303 00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:21,693 My name's Kitty. 304 00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:24,739 Hey, and I'm great. Come on in, buddy. Yeah, through the screen. 305 00:14:24,822 --> 00:14:27,158 - What? Come in? - That's it. Closer. 306 00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:30,203 Okay, I don't know why I trust you, but I... whoa! 307 00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:34,832 Andrew, open up. Put down the needle. 308 00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:37,877 - Andrew? - He's gone. 309 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,880 - Did he OD on heroin? - Heroin? No. 310 00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:42,590 He's addicted to pornography. 311 00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:47,095 Nick, Andrew has been sucked into the PornScape. 312 00:14:47,578 --> 00:14:48,593 The what? 313 00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:53,017 An alternate dimension where pornography comes to life. 314 00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:54,519 PornScape. 315 00:14:55,269 --> 00:14:56,854 - Oh, yeah. - Oh, God. 316 00:14:56,938 --> 00:14:57,939 - Oh, yeah. - Andrew! 317 00:14:58,022 --> 00:15:00,233 If we don't get him out of the PornScape soon, 318 00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:01,801 he'll never be able to connect to anyone 319 00:15:01,802 --> 00:15:04,112 on an emotional or sexual level. 320 00:15:04,195 --> 00:15:05,655 - Take my hand, Ned. - It's Nick. 321 00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:07,073 Yeah, that's what I said. 322 00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:09,450 - Just squeeze a little bit. No. - Okay. I'm a little... 323 00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:11,994 Sorry, can you just shift a little? My leg is cramping. 324 00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:16,332 Oh, you're cramping? I'm upside fucking down. 325 00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:20,128 Ugh! The synagogue where Cantor Dina works. 326 00:15:20,211 --> 00:15:22,004 I just wanna, like, do something to it. 327 00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:23,840 Let's throw a brick through a window. 328 00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:26,008 Um, of the synagogue? That's a little hate crimey, Jay. 329 00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:31,639 What if we let it be known that Cantor Dina, as a snack, 330 00:15:31,722 --> 00:15:32,932 eats little pieces of shit? 331 00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:34,767 Why is that your go-to thing? 332 00:15:34,851 --> 00:15:36,102 What's that? 333 00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:38,312 Aww. 334 00:15:38,396 --> 00:15:40,690 What's wrong, buddy? What's in there? 335 00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:45,319 - Holy shit! - Oh, my God! There's a dead body! 336 00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:47,822 - Will you be my girlfriend? - What? This is not the time! 337 00:15:47,905 --> 00:15:49,532 - Then when is? - Not now! 338 00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:52,285 I'm in love with you, Jessi! 339 00:15:54,078 --> 00:15:57,248 - Whoa. The Italian Stallion? - Hey, great. 340 00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:59,375 We're looking for Andrew. Have you seen him? 341 00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,919 Pear-shaped, glasses, smells like cold pasta. 342 00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:04,922 Oh, yeah. I thought his name was Adrian. 343 00:16:05,006 --> 00:16:07,758 He's the king. 'Cause, you know, he's a good king. 344 00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:12,013 - Yeah, well, we need to talk to him. - Oh, you don't talk, though, you listen. 345 00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:14,098 You know, in here, we're all his children, right? 346 00:16:14,182 --> 00:16:16,100 - I mean, the guy is a sex god. - Huh. 347 00:16:16,184 --> 00:16:18,853 - Do you know how to find him? - Yeah, he's up the River Dicks. 348 00:16:18,936 --> 00:16:21,063 I'll take you there, and this hairy guy too. 349 00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:24,692 Get over here. Give me a kiss. Get the fuck outta here. Let's go. 350 00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:29,322 Ooh, ooh, ooh! 351 00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:31,616 What is this place? 352 00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:33,784 What you're seeing is Andrew's search history. 353 00:16:33,868 --> 00:16:36,204 Everything he watched, you know, come to life. 354 00:16:36,871 --> 00:16:40,041 Hey, great. It's Mickey, Paulie, and all the gals. 355 00:16:40,425 --> 00:16:41,459 This is my fault. 356 00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:44,170 I never should've forced Andrew to watch The Italian Stallion. 357 00:16:44,253 --> 00:16:46,631 Uh... maybe I had something to do with it, 358 00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:48,591 you know, ravaging him with puberty and all. 359 00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:51,093 Speaking of, when are you gonna ravage me with puberty? 360 00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:53,513 Oh, this again. You're just not ready. 361 00:16:53,596 --> 00:16:56,599 Then why did you bring me along to this porn world? 362 00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:58,267 It's called the PornScape. 363 00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:00,353 It's a cool name. Please use it. 364 00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:02,396 I brought you to the PornScape 365 00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:04,732 because Andrew listens to you. He respects you. 366 00:17:04,815 --> 00:17:07,151 Hey, no offense, but we're here. 367 00:17:10,655 --> 00:17:12,990 - But where's Andrew? - Adrian? Hey, king's in there. 368 00:17:13,074 --> 00:17:14,032 Whoa. 369 00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:15,867 It's the heart from the science museum 370 00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:18,079 where I skullfucked Garrison Keillor. 371 00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:21,082 Andrew and Missy almost kissed there, but that's not relevant. 372 00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:22,250 All you need to know 373 00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:24,794 is that I put my penis in Garrison Keillor's skull. 374 00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:29,215 Aah! 375 00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:31,509 - Sorry. You can't go in there. - Ah-pah-pah! 376 00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:33,344 Bring them to me. 377 00:17:38,099 --> 00:17:40,893 Oh, Andrew. Jesus Christ. 378 00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:43,854 - Whoa, great jack shack, man. - What's that shirt? 379 00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:45,690 My porn shirt? 380 00:17:45,773 --> 00:17:49,008 It's from my Dracula costume from two years ago. 381 00:17:49,009 --> 00:17:50,530 - Halloween. - Uh-huh. 382 00:17:50,534 --> 00:17:52,655 - What brings you travelers here? - We're here to save you. 383 00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:54,323 I choose not to be saved. 384 00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:58,244 Yes, he wants to stay and buy me mini dishwasher. 385 00:17:58,327 --> 00:18:01,372 Small, but can fit big plates. 386 00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:03,165 You know, you haven't taken anything off yet. 387 00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:04,875 Andrew, this isn't who you are. 388 00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:07,420 You're not a sex freak. You're a sweet guy. 389 00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:09,755 You don't like all of this. You like Missy. 390 00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:16,637 No. It hurts too much out there. Nobody can hurt me in here. 391 00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:17,722 But this isn't real. 392 00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:20,391 It is to me, Nick. It is... 393 00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:22,810 Will you stop spanking him for five seconds while I'm talking? 394 00:18:22,893 --> 00:18:23,805 Uh, sorry, boss. 395 00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:25,813 Okay, fine. Let's do this. 396 00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:27,481 If you won't leave, I won't either. 397 00:18:27,565 --> 00:18:30,276 I'll throw away my life and be a part of your crazy porn world. 398 00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:34,196 Scape. It's a PornScape. Why is this so hard for you? 399 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,907 Whatever. PornScape. Sign me up. 400 00:18:36,991 --> 00:18:40,161 I'll jack off that guy and rim job that girl, 401 00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:41,746 and eat everyone's ass out. 402 00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:43,998 - That's what a rim job is, Nick. - Exactly. 403 00:18:44,081 --> 00:18:45,958 The rim of his anus. It couldn't be more clear. 404 00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:47,501 You see what I'm dealing with here, Andrew? 405 00:18:47,585 --> 00:18:49,086 Oh, fine. Who cares? 406 00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:51,005 Come and get me, you freaks. 407 00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:53,341 Yeah. Okay. 408 00:18:53,424 --> 00:18:54,925 Uh-oh. 409 00:18:55,009 --> 00:18:57,928 Uh, Andrew, we need to get this kid outta here, like, right now. 410 00:18:58,012 --> 00:19:01,557 He's gonna get molested and I don't mean fun babysitter molested. 411 00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:03,809 - Andrew? - I want you. 412 00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:04,805 No! 413 00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:08,356 Hey, leave him alone. He's not ready for any of this. 414 00:19:08,439 --> 00:19:10,941 Maurice, let's get out of here. 415 00:19:11,025 --> 00:19:12,652 Oh, shit. 416 00:19:13,527 --> 00:19:15,571 These horny fucks are so fast. 417 00:19:18,699 --> 00:19:21,661 Oh, I'm out of shape. I gotta smoke less. 418 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:27,708 Hey, you ain't leaving with our king. I mean, the king's great. 419 00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:31,045 Boys, take the boat and go on without me. I'll hold off the Stallion. 420 00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:34,965 - But, Maury, we can't leave you. - Go, boys. Go, now! 421 00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:37,301 Let's see what you got, you juiced pig. 422 00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:41,138 Hey, this isn't great. 423 00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:47,228 Cowabunga! 424 00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:50,398 This is great! 425 00:19:52,149 --> 00:19:53,901 Oh. I feel bad for him. 426 00:19:53,984 --> 00:19:59,156 No. He's told me many times this is exactly how he wanted to go. 427 00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:02,284 - Andrew, wait! - Missy? 428 00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:04,662 - What are you doing here? - I... I came to find you. 429 00:20:04,745 --> 00:20:07,081 - Guys, we gotta get out of here. - We can be happy here. 430 00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:09,333 - I wanna get back together with you. - Really? 431 00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:11,419 Andrew, you can't stay here with Missy. 432 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:13,963 Oh. 433 00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:16,382 - That's not really Missy. - How do you know? 434 00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:20,386 Because the real Missy doesn't want to be with me. 435 00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:22,471 Also, look at her feet. She got those dildo feet. 436 00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:24,473 - Okay, let's go. - Well, you know what, Andrew? 437 00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:27,309 You aren't going anywhere. 438 00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:39,822 Oh, God, we made it. 439 00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:41,157 I don't know if you noticed, 440 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:44,160 but, Nick, I've got a real problem with the pornography. 441 00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:48,164 Yeah. Some old people pissed on us, and it smelled different. 442 00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:50,207 My guess is it's all the vitamins they take. 443 00:20:50,291 --> 00:20:51,542 It's all the supplements, yeah. 444 00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:55,045 Then we heard a noise, and me and my very serious girlfriend, Jessi, 445 00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:57,047 opened the lid and saw a dead body. 446 00:20:57,131 --> 00:20:59,967 - And, uh, you're the girlfriend? - Uh, not exactly. 447 00:21:00,050 --> 00:21:01,594 Then what is this guy to you? 448 00:21:01,677 --> 00:21:03,387 You're going steady? You pinned her? 449 00:21:03,471 --> 00:21:06,140 - Yeah. What am I to you? - You're a guy that I kiss sometimes. 450 00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:08,058 That's nothing. That's a nothing relationship. 451 00:21:08,142 --> 00:21:09,042 Women are dying! 452 00:21:09,059 --> 00:21:12,396 So I want you to define your relationship by the end of the night. 453 00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:15,107 That noise they heard must have been our guy dumping the victim. 454 00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:17,777 All the while we got Coach Steve in custody, 455 00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:22,114 which means, gentlemen, that he cannot be Jon Bon Ponytail. 456 00:21:22,198 --> 00:21:24,450 You stop trying to make that work! 457 00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:26,786 Sir, you're free to go. 458 00:21:26,869 --> 00:21:28,621 But am I free to stay, my friend? 459 00:21:28,704 --> 00:21:30,664 That don't make no never mind to me. 460 00:21:31,916 --> 00:21:33,626 - Well, I guess we should go home. - Ugh. 461 00:21:33,709 --> 00:21:36,295 - I don't wanna go home. - Yeah, me neither. 462 00:21:36,378 --> 00:21:37,838 The dogs probably ate my dinner by now. 463 00:21:37,922 --> 00:21:39,340 What if we don't go home? 464 00:21:39,423 --> 00:21:40,758 You mean, like, go to a movie, 465 00:21:40,841 --> 00:21:42,426 or sneak into the cemetery and sleep there? 466 00:21:42,510 --> 00:21:44,929 - No. - I know a pretty empty mausoleum. 467 00:21:45,012 --> 00:21:46,514 I mean, like, get out of here. 468 00:21:46,597 --> 00:21:49,391 Run, child. Run away to Mexico. 469 00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:50,559 We'll live on the beach 470 00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:53,103 and get those weird little braidy things in our hair. 471 00:21:53,187 --> 00:21:55,147 Let's go somewhere far away. 472 00:21:55,231 --> 00:21:56,732 - Seriously? - Seriously. 473 00:21:56,816 --> 00:21:58,984 Because I am a hundred percent on board for this. 474 00:21:59,068 --> 00:22:01,111 I have a go-bag right here. 475 00:22:01,195 --> 00:22:03,364 Okay, we need to run before I change my mind. Let's go. 476 00:22:03,447 --> 00:22:06,116 It's just all loose tortilla chips. 477 00:22:07,409 --> 00:22:08,410 Hello, Nick. 478 00:22:09,537 --> 00:22:11,997 Are you all right? How'd you get out? 479 00:22:12,081 --> 00:22:14,041 - I fucking fucked all those fucks. - Yeah. 480 00:22:14,124 --> 00:22:16,293 On that note, I think you were right. 481 00:22:16,377 --> 00:22:18,462 I'm not ready for puberty. I'm gonna wait. 482 00:22:18,546 --> 00:22:20,965 Oh, no, no, Nick. It's not your decision. 483 00:22:21,048 --> 00:22:23,008 In fact, check your mons. 484 00:22:23,092 --> 00:22:24,844 - Hey, Nick. - What it do? 485 00:22:24,927 --> 00:22:26,679 We are your curly new pals. 486 00:22:26,762 --> 00:22:29,139 Are we in Tampa? 'Cause it's hot and stinky. 487 00:22:29,223 --> 00:22:31,475 - I don't wanna be here. - No, we're not in Tampa. 488 00:22:31,559 --> 00:22:33,352 We're in Crotch City, USA. 489 00:22:33,435 --> 00:22:34,478 Hi, guys. 490 00:22:34,562 --> 00:22:36,105 Does this mean I'm going through puberty? 491 00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:39,900 - Are you gonna be my hormone monster? - Uh, no, not exactly. 492 00:22:39,984 --> 00:22:42,111 You'll be working with my friend Rick. Great guy. 493 00:22:42,194 --> 00:22:44,405 - Where is he? Where's the kid? - What? 494 00:22:44,488 --> 00:22:48,367 He can't even see me. And there's shit running down his leg. 495 00:22:48,450 --> 00:22:53,163 - We're gonna have a lot of fun, man. - No, no. I don't accept this. 496 00:22:53,247 --> 00:22:54,689 I'm gonna have my mom call a doctor. 497 00:22:54,690 --> 00:22:56,917 There's gotta be a shot I can take, right? 498 00:22:57,001 --> 00:22:59,920 You want me to teach you how to masturbate? 499 00:23:02,798 --> 00:23:04,883 Well, one door closes, 500 00:23:05,759 --> 00:23:07,094 and another opens. 501 00:23:07,678 --> 00:23:09,513 Get down on the ground, you sick fuck! 502 00:23:09,597 --> 00:23:11,890 - Oh, my God, what's happening? - You're under arrest. 503 00:23:11,974 --> 00:23:13,475 What are you doing to my boy? 504 00:23:13,559 --> 00:23:15,561 I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, 505 00:23:15,644 --> 00:23:17,605 but your boy here is a perverted killer, ma'am. 506 00:23:17,605 --> 00:23:18,631 I knew it! 507 00:23:18,647 --> 00:23:20,855 His DNA was found all over a dead body 508 00:23:20,856 --> 00:23:23,319 in the synagogue dumpster. All over. 509 00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:24,778 My jizz socks. 510 00:23:24,862 --> 00:23:27,615 There was so much semen, at first we thought a horse had done it. 511 00:23:27,698 --> 00:23:29,992 I know who you are, you little bastard. 512 00:23:30,075 --> 00:23:32,494 You're the ponytail something. 513 00:23:32,578 --> 00:23:34,496 Guys, please, I'm just some weird kid. 514 00:23:34,580 --> 00:23:36,707 - Detective, check this out. - Who's this? 515 00:23:36,790 --> 00:23:39,752 - Your next victim? - That's my associate Susan. 516 00:23:39,835 --> 00:23:41,670 And what the hell is this here now? 517 00:23:41,754 --> 00:23:44,423 That's not mine. That's the hormone monster's. 518 00:23:44,506 --> 00:23:46,884 Oh, my God. My son is deranged. 519 00:23:46,967 --> 00:23:49,303 Let me guess, the monster did this too. 520 00:23:49,386 --> 00:23:53,390 Yes. He wanted to climax in my wall. Why am I saying all of this? 521 00:23:53,474 --> 00:23:58,354 Andrew, my son, I can't believe you made a hole in my drywall. 522 00:23:58,437 --> 00:24:01,065 - Officers, take him away. - No, guys. Ow, ow! 523 00:24:02,775 --> 00:24:05,903 I'm gonna have to go to Home Depot on a Sunday. 524 00:24:05,986 --> 00:24:08,822 Why, Andrew? Why? 525 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:11,909 Hey. How you doing, buddy? 526 00:24:11,992 --> 00:24:13,827 I'm terrified, Nick. 527 00:24:13,911 --> 00:24:17,665 My cellmate called me a pretty shit today. It's a real mixed message. 528 00:24:17,748 --> 00:24:21,085 I think we need to start accepting and enjoying. 529 00:24:21,168 --> 00:24:23,879 Don't worry, we'll get you out of here. You're innocent. 530 00:24:23,962 --> 00:24:25,214 You are innocent, right? 531 00:24:25,297 --> 00:24:28,801 'Cause your DNA was found, like, all over the body. 532 00:24:28,884 --> 00:24:29,885 Under the eyelids... 533 00:24:29,968 --> 00:24:31,553 Nick, of course I'm innocent. 534 00:24:31,637 --> 00:24:35,099 They're saying I'm a serial killer, but I'm just a chronic masturbator. 535 00:24:35,182 --> 00:24:38,102 Stop quoting my law commercials. 536 00:24:38,185 --> 00:24:40,187 Guy Bilzerian? What are you doing here? 537 00:24:40,270 --> 00:24:43,524 I'm your fucking lawyer, and you're fucking going home, fucknuts. 538 00:24:43,607 --> 00:24:44,507 I am? 539 00:24:44,525 --> 00:24:45,567 The good news is, 540 00:24:45,651 --> 00:24:47,528 there's security footage of the real killer 541 00:24:47,611 --> 00:24:49,738 throwing the body in the synagogue dumpster. 542 00:24:49,822 --> 00:24:51,115 Oh, thank God. 543 00:24:51,198 --> 00:24:52,408 The bad news is, 544 00:24:52,491 --> 00:24:56,078 there's also footage of you tossing dozens of jizz-soaked socks 545 00:24:56,161 --> 00:24:57,579 in the same dumpster. 546 00:24:57,663 --> 00:24:59,707 And it's gone viral. 547 00:25:01,667 --> 00:25:04,211 - And this is where you fart? - Yup. 548 00:25:04,294 --> 00:25:05,838 And this is where I picked my nose. 549 00:25:07,548 --> 00:25:09,007 How will I face the kids at school? 550 00:25:09,091 --> 00:25:11,802 Look, I know this all seems embarrassing now, boys, 551 00:25:11,885 --> 00:25:15,723 but maybe one day you'll look back on this time fondly. 552 00:25:15,806 --> 00:25:18,350 And perhaps even make something beautiful out of it. 553 00:25:18,434 --> 00:25:21,770 What? Like a show about a bunch of kids masturbating? 554 00:25:21,854 --> 00:25:24,314 Isn't that basically just like child pornography? 555 00:25:24,398 --> 00:25:26,233 Holy shit. I hope not. 556 00:25:26,316 --> 00:25:29,111 I mean, maybe if it's animated, we can get away with it. 557 00:25:29,820 --> 00:25:30,821 Right? 558 00:25:39,204 --> 00:25:42,207 Y'all can hop in the back, just shove that shit to the side. 559 00:25:42,291 --> 00:25:43,834 - Oh, thanks. - Thank you. 560 00:25:45,794 --> 00:25:47,629 Pam? Scorpion? 561 00:25:47,713 --> 00:25:49,923 Jay, who are these pillows? 562 00:25:50,007 --> 00:25:53,010 We're his family. Who the fuck are you, bitch? 563 00:25:53,093 --> 00:25:54,970 This is awkward. 564 00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:03,400 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -