1 00:00:07,778 --> 00:00:10,448 [Duke cackles] 2 00:00:11,449 --> 00:00:13,951 ♪ Life is busy, heaven knows ♪ 3 00:00:14,035 --> 00:00:17,288 ♪ So many characters So many shows ♪ 4 00:00:17,371 --> 00:00:22,376 ♪ Who can keep up with all the shit That's on TV? ♪ 5 00:00:22,460 --> 00:00:23,377 [laughs] 6 00:00:23,836 --> 00:00:26,922 ♪ So we've made this little snippet ♪ 7 00:00:27,006 --> 00:00:30,426 ♪ If you don't need it, honey Skip it ♪ 8 00:00:30,509 --> 00:00:34,096 ♪ We're gonna sing a season three recap ♪ 9 00:00:34,180 --> 00:00:38,934 ♪ To bring you up to speed ♪ 10 00:00:39,018 --> 00:00:41,771 ♪ Okay, the first thing to tell you In this song ♪ 11 00:00:41,854 --> 00:00:43,314 ♪ Is that I kissed Missy ♪ 12 00:00:43,397 --> 00:00:44,482 ♪ Which was wrong ♪ 13 00:00:44,565 --> 00:00:49,862 ♪ Then I guess I kind of dumped her In the end ♪ 14 00:00:49,945 --> 00:00:52,198 ♪ And now everything's a bummer ♪ 15 00:00:52,281 --> 00:00:55,117 ♪ 'Cause I've got to spend the summer ♪ 16 00:00:55,201 --> 00:01:01,040 ♪ Off at camp with my backstabbing Former best friend ♪ 17 00:01:01,123 --> 00:01:03,918 ♪ It's our "Previously on Big Mouth"  Song ♪ 18 00:01:04,001 --> 00:01:06,754 ♪ So you'll know What the hell's going on ♪ 19 00:01:06,837 --> 00:01:11,634 ♪ 'Cause it's been quite a while Since last year's shows ♪ 20 00:01:12,009 --> 00:01:13,135 ♪ I got Queer Eye'd ♪ 21 00:01:13,219 --> 00:01:14,470 ♪ I joined the cast ♪ 22 00:01:14,553 --> 00:01:17,306 ♪ I got sexually harassed ♪ 23 00:01:17,389 --> 00:01:22,603 ♪ We're recapping all of the stuff You need to know ♪ 24 00:01:23,813 --> 00:01:28,609 ♪ The latest thing that's shitty Is this fall I'm moving to the city ♪ 25 00:01:28,692 --> 00:01:34,573 ♪ I'm a heartbroken loner But now I got Mona to wipe my tears away ♪ 26 00:01:34,657 --> 00:01:36,659 ♪ I came out as bi ♪ 27 00:01:36,742 --> 00:01:39,620 ♪ Yeah, I fuck pillows Both girl and guy ♪ 28 00:01:40,079 --> 00:01:42,414 ♪ I kissed my boyfriend Aiden ♪ 29 00:01:42,498 --> 00:01:45,459 ♪ And now I'm hoping for ass play ♪ 30 00:01:45,543 --> 00:01:48,337 ♪ That's our "Previously on Big Mouth"  Song ♪ 31 00:01:48,420 --> 00:01:50,881 ♪ So now you're good to go ♪ 32 00:01:50,965 --> 00:01:53,884 ♪ Now off to summer camp to start anew ♪ 33 00:01:53,968 --> 00:01:55,219 ♪ I'd rather die ♪ 34 00:01:55,302 --> 00:01:56,929 ♪ I'm going too ♪ 35 00:01:57,012 --> 00:02:03,227 ♪ It's a brand-new season of the Big Mouth show! ♪ 36 00:02:03,310 --> 00:02:05,062 ♪ Ooh ♪ 37 00:02:05,896 --> 00:02:08,399 -[insects buzzing] -Ow! Fucking mosquitoes. 38 00:02:08,482 --> 00:02:10,526 Yeah, baby, sleepaway camp! 39 00:02:10,609 --> 00:02:15,781 No parents, s'mores, and I'll bet someone we know is gonna get Lyme disease. 40 00:02:15,865 --> 00:02:16,866 Yeah, probably. 41 00:02:16,949 --> 00:02:19,910 What's wrong? You don't wanna see your friend get more and more tired? 42 00:02:19,994 --> 00:02:22,913 No, I just been thinking about what Andrew said this morning. 43 00:02:22,997 --> 00:02:25,374 Oh, about how you're a bad person and a piece of shit, 44 00:02:25,457 --> 00:02:27,334 and he don't wanna be friends with you no more? 45 00:02:27,418 --> 00:02:29,378 Yeah, all those things. I mean, is he right? 46 00:02:29,461 --> 00:02:31,922 Nick Birch! The Westchester Molester. 47 00:02:32,006 --> 00:02:34,383 Hey, Seth Goldberg, 48 00:02:34,466 --> 00:02:36,760 the Butterball from Montreal. 49 00:02:36,844 --> 00:02:38,262 Who is this person? 50 00:02:38,345 --> 00:02:41,390 Dude, wait, check it out. I found a duck egg. Feel how smooth it is. 51 00:02:41,473 --> 00:02:43,017 [Nick laughs] Ew! Nasty! 52 00:02:43,100 --> 00:02:45,060 [Seth] But wait. But taste it. They taste like regular eggs. 53 00:02:45,144 --> 00:02:47,021 -I don't wanna taste your eggs! -They taste like regular eggs! 54 00:02:47,104 --> 00:02:48,606 -I don't wanna taste your eggs! -[Seth laughing] 55 00:02:48,689 --> 00:02:52,026 [laughs] Oh, shit, that's his nut. This boy's delightful. 56 00:02:52,109 --> 00:02:54,195 [Nick] Yeah, that's Seth. He's my camp best friend. 57 00:02:54,278 --> 00:02:56,113 All right! Fuck Andrew. 58 00:02:56,197 --> 00:02:58,115 I'm glad he's staying in Bridgeton. 59 00:02:58,199 --> 00:02:59,491 Yeah, we've got Seth. 60 00:02:59,575 --> 00:03:03,162 Oh, Nick, look, a mongoose is trying to eat the duck egg. 61 00:03:03,245 --> 00:03:05,706 Okay, that does not look like a mongoose. 62 00:03:05,789 --> 00:03:08,042 -That just looks like a child's dick. -Ooh. 63 00:03:08,125 --> 00:03:09,919 Welcome back, bitches. 64 00:03:10,002 --> 00:03:12,213 ["Changes" by Charles Bradley plays] 65 00:03:12,296 --> 00:03:17,927 ♪ I'm going through changes ♪ 66 00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:27,561 ♪ I'm going through changes ♪ 67 00:03:28,062 --> 00:03:30,356 ♪ Oh, in my life ♪ 68 00:03:31,523 --> 00:03:34,985 ♪ Oh, ooh, ooh! ♪ 69 00:03:44,036 --> 00:03:47,915 Woo! They put us in the bunk with the cool city girls. 70 00:03:47,998 --> 00:03:51,460 They got so many serums and lotions and potions. 71 00:03:51,877 --> 00:03:53,754 Yeah. Maybe I'll finally learn how  to pluck my-- 72 00:03:53,837 --> 00:03:54,755 Your nipple hairs? 73 00:03:54,838 --> 00:03:57,383 I was gonna say eyebrows. You noticed them? 74 00:03:57,466 --> 00:04:01,762 The thing is, your nipple hairs are black, but the rest of your hairs are red. Why? 75 00:04:01,845 --> 00:04:04,807 -[chitters] -Jessi, I heard you're moving to the city. 76 00:04:04,890 --> 00:04:07,810 -Yes, you bitch. -Hmm. Close, but bad. 77 00:04:07,893 --> 00:04:09,979 We gotta get you Manhattan-ready. 78 00:04:10,062 --> 00:04:12,898 [in New York accent] Hey! New York, up your nose with a hot dog. 79 00:04:12,982 --> 00:04:14,900 Jessi, honey, you need to stop talking. 80 00:04:14,984 --> 00:04:17,319 Okay, let's start with this sheet mask. 81 00:04:17,403 --> 00:04:19,405 Oh, okay. What does, um... What does this do? 82 00:04:19,488 --> 00:04:20,823 It's gonna raise your eyes. 83 00:04:20,906 --> 00:04:22,700 Yes! Let's raise those eyes. 84 00:04:22,783 --> 00:04:26,203 Um, hey, guys, this mask is starting to burn a little bit 85 00:04:26,287 --> 00:04:28,372 in a way that I'm not sure if that's on purpose or... 86 00:04:28,455 --> 00:04:31,000 Oh, no. We put it on upside down. 87 00:04:31,083 --> 00:04:33,544 -[Jessi] Oh, my God, you did? -Oops. Your eyes are lower now. 88 00:04:33,627 --> 00:04:35,170 -What? -It's fine. 89 00:04:35,254 --> 00:04:36,922 We'll just paint your eyebrows really thick. 90 00:04:37,006 --> 00:04:38,841 -Maybe put a cigar in your mouth. -[gulps] 91 00:04:38,924 --> 00:04:40,551 Oh, yeah, that's better. 92 00:04:41,135 --> 00:04:43,304 -[boys grunting] -Yo, Nick, check it out. 93 00:04:43,387 --> 00:04:46,348 I brought Canadian Swedish fish just for us. 94 00:04:46,432 --> 00:04:47,266 It's smoky. 95 00:04:47,349 --> 00:04:48,892 Yeah, that's...  It's 'cause it's fish. 96 00:04:48,976 --> 00:04:50,853 Hey, whose bed is this? 97 00:04:50,936 --> 00:04:52,813 I think it's Gabe's. No one's seen him yet. 98 00:04:52,896 --> 00:04:55,232 Is he coming back to camp? I haven't heard from him all year. 99 00:04:55,316 --> 00:04:58,152 Last summer Gabe urinated in my liquid soap. 100 00:04:58,235 --> 00:05:00,321 Yeah, Milk, and it was fucking hilarious. 101 00:05:00,404 --> 00:05:01,322 Shut the fuck up, Milk. 102 00:05:01,405 --> 00:05:04,992 My dad's friend Bob Reedy got me an iPod Shuffle. 103 00:05:05,075 --> 00:05:08,329 -What are you talking about, Milk? -I'm just saying it plays music. 104 00:05:08,412 --> 00:05:09,997 -Yeah, we fucking know! -[door knocks] 105 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:12,374 [in British accent] Hello, boys. I'm your counselor, Harry. 106 00:05:12,458 --> 00:05:14,084 I know my accent sounds fancy, 107 00:05:14,168 --> 00:05:17,755 but I put my short shorts, black socks and sandals on just like you, 108 00:05:17,838 --> 00:05:19,757 with the help of two butlers. [laughs] 109 00:05:19,882 --> 00:05:22,217 Just kidding. I grew up poor. 110 00:05:22,301 --> 00:05:24,595 That's why I'm working here as a servant to children. 111 00:05:24,678 --> 00:05:26,096 Hey, Harry. Welcome to the US. 112 00:05:26,180 --> 00:05:29,183 The toilet's backed up, shit's coming out, and none of us know how to clean it. 113 00:05:29,266 --> 00:05:30,893 Can't wait. Cheers to that. 114 00:05:30,976 --> 00:05:34,521 But first, I'm meant to introduce you to a new camper. 115 00:05:34,605 --> 00:05:35,439 I'm not new. 116 00:05:35,522 --> 00:05:36,857 This is Natalie. 117 00:05:36,940 --> 00:05:38,108 Hold on. Gabe? 118 00:05:38,192 --> 00:05:39,443 -Natalie. -Hey, guys. 119 00:05:39,526 --> 00:05:42,404 You see, kids, gender is like pasta. 120 00:05:42,488 --> 00:05:43,322 No, it's not. 121 00:05:43,405 --> 00:05:46,408 -There's many different shapes and sizes. -You're making it worse. 122 00:05:46,492 --> 00:05:48,744 [chuckles] Holy shit. What happened, Gabe? 123 00:05:48,827 --> 00:05:49,703 Um... 124 00:05:49,787 --> 00:05:52,122 [mosquito] Oh, God, coming here was a terrible mistake. 125 00:05:52,206 --> 00:05:53,415 Look at them. They hate you. 126 00:05:53,499 --> 00:05:56,543 The camp clearly did not read that detailed email from your mother. 127 00:05:56,627 --> 00:05:58,128 Say something already! 128 00:05:58,754 --> 00:06:00,214 Please call me Natalie now. 129 00:06:00,297 --> 00:06:03,509 I wanted you guys to hear it from me that I'm transgender. 130 00:06:03,592 --> 00:06:05,636 I use she/her pronouns. 131 00:06:05,719 --> 00:06:07,638 I'm sure you're all comfortable  with this, right? 132 00:06:09,515 --> 00:06:13,185 One time my dad's friend Bob Reedy opened a can of spaghetti, 133 00:06:13,268 --> 00:06:14,645 but there were ravioli inside-- 134 00:06:14,728 --> 00:06:16,647 Shut the fuck up, Milk. 135 00:06:16,730 --> 00:06:19,316 Now, I'm sure you all have questions, right? 136 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:20,734 And without consulting Natalie, 137 00:06:20,818 --> 00:06:23,028 I'm simply gonna open up the floor for a free-for-all, 138 00:06:23,112 --> 00:06:25,406 like a session of Parliament.  I feel good about this. 139 00:06:25,489 --> 00:06:27,241 Uh, are you gonna sleep here? 140 00:06:27,324 --> 00:06:29,076 No, I'm staying in the girls' bunk. 141 00:06:29,159 --> 00:06:30,536 Nice, nice. 142 00:06:30,619 --> 00:06:32,579 So this is all a scam so you can just watch, 143 00:06:32,663 --> 00:06:35,999 -you know, girls change and stuff? -Yep. You figured out my master plan. 144 00:06:36,083 --> 00:06:38,168 Do you pee standing up or lying down? 145 00:06:38,252 --> 00:06:39,753 The fuck? Do you pee lying down? 146 00:06:39,837 --> 00:06:40,921 You know what, everyone? 147 00:06:41,004 --> 00:06:43,799 I'm just gonna ask the thing that we're all thinking but not asking. 148 00:06:43,882 --> 00:06:45,759 -What does your crotch look like? -That was my question. 149 00:06:45,843 --> 00:06:47,177 -Thank you! -I know. Someone had to. 150 00:06:47,261 --> 00:06:49,888 [mosquito] Oh, God. This is a disaster, but don't cry. 151 00:06:49,972 --> 00:06:51,890 They'll think you're weak, and they'll pounce. 152 00:06:51,974 --> 00:06:53,851 My crotch looks like the back  of your mom's head 153 00:06:53,934 --> 00:06:56,562 -while she's slurping me off. -But what is my mom slurping off? 154 00:06:56,645 --> 00:06:58,689 Please just tell us if you have a dick. 155 00:06:58,772 --> 00:07:01,859 -Your buttocks remain the same, correct? -Shut the fuck up, Milk! 156 00:07:01,942 --> 00:07:04,987 Shut the fuck up, all of you. Eat my fucking asshole! 157 00:07:05,070 --> 00:07:07,239 Well, then, that went terribly, 158 00:07:07,322 --> 00:07:08,866 but at least I've come out unscathed. 159 00:07:08,949 --> 00:07:12,119 Now, I believe there's a clogged toilet calling my name. 160 00:07:12,202 --> 00:07:13,704 "Oh, Harry!" 161 00:07:13,787 --> 00:07:15,247 I'm coming, toilet. 162 00:07:15,330 --> 00:07:17,958 I know someone with a toilet. It's my dad's friend-- 163 00:07:18,041 --> 00:07:19,251 Milk, don't say it. 164 00:07:19,334 --> 00:07:21,670 -Bob Reedy. -[all] Shut the fuck up, Milk! 165 00:07:21,753 --> 00:07:24,256 Hey, what gives, man? Ow! 166 00:07:24,339 --> 00:07:26,258 [whistle blows] 167 00:07:26,341 --> 00:07:30,179 All right. Now that school's asleep, I'm lifeguard Coach Steve, 168 00:07:30,262 --> 00:07:33,432 which is why my pepperoni nipples are so cooked. 169 00:07:33,515 --> 00:07:37,269 They're curling at the edges and filled with oil! 170 00:07:37,352 --> 00:07:40,105 I can't believe we're spending the summer at a public pool. 171 00:07:40,189 --> 00:07:42,065 Oh, come on. It's kitschy fun. 172 00:07:42,149 --> 00:07:45,277 There's an old woman swimming laps in a wedding gown and smoking. 173 00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:49,364 I love it here. You should see if Aiden needs any sunscreen on his dick and ass. 174 00:07:49,448 --> 00:07:52,993 Maury, I said you could come to the pool with us, but you gotta be cool. 175 00:07:53,076 --> 00:07:55,787 I'll tell you what's not cool: melanoma on your tuchus. 176 00:07:55,871 --> 00:07:58,457 What's up, my fellow LGBTQ-ties? 177 00:07:58,540 --> 00:08:00,709 Oh, my God. Is this Jay? 178 00:08:00,792 --> 00:08:03,253 Well, well, well. I see my reputation precedes me. 179 00:08:03,337 --> 00:08:06,965 Matthew said you kissed him like you were trying to push his tongue out a window. 180 00:08:07,049 --> 00:08:09,301 Yeah. Hardest frencher in my grade. 181 00:08:09,384 --> 00:08:11,136 Cannonball! 182 00:08:11,220 --> 00:08:12,054 [Matthew] Ugh! 183 00:08:12,763 --> 00:08:15,098 Jay, the Devins are doing a chicken fight. 184 00:08:15,182 --> 00:08:18,268 I need a partner, and you look lonely and strong. 185 00:08:18,352 --> 00:08:20,479 Lola, I have never felt more seen. 186 00:08:20,562 --> 00:08:22,356 You guys are going down. 187 00:08:22,439 --> 00:08:26,109 Oh! I'm already a winner. I got my wife's goosh on my neck. 188 00:08:26,193 --> 00:08:27,069 Devon, focus! 189 00:08:27,152 --> 00:08:29,029 So, what do you think? How are we gonna do this? 190 00:08:29,112 --> 00:08:30,948 -I don't know. -Me on you? You on me? 191 00:08:31,031 --> 00:08:32,032 Underwater 69? 192 00:08:32,115 --> 00:08:34,910 What? Obviously, I'm on top. I'm the girl. 193 00:08:34,993 --> 00:08:37,287 I guess I just don't feel like that's our best chance at winning. 194 00:08:37,371 --> 00:08:39,581 -What do you mean? -You'd make a pretty sturdy base. 195 00:08:39,665 --> 00:08:41,833 What the fuck did you just say? 196 00:08:41,917 --> 00:08:44,628 No offense! You're just on my "Sturdy Under 30" list. 197 00:08:44,711 --> 00:08:46,672 -What? -Your body's a triangle, 198 00:08:46,755 --> 00:08:49,508 and that is the strongest shape known  to man. 199 00:08:49,591 --> 00:08:50,425 What? 200 00:08:50,509 --> 00:08:52,928 Lola, I think he's afraid you're gonna drown him. 201 00:08:53,011 --> 00:08:55,847 Listen, I just think if we wanna win, you'd be a better bottom. 202 00:08:55,931 --> 00:08:59,726 I think you'd be a better bottom because of how bisexual you are. 203 00:08:59,810 --> 00:09:02,813 I don't care if you're a girl! I'll kill you right now! 204 00:09:02,896 --> 00:09:04,064 [grunting] 205 00:09:04,147 --> 00:09:07,067 -You'll be the second person I've drowned! -[Jay gasping] 206 00:09:07,150 --> 00:09:08,402 Hey, hey, hey, hey! 207 00:09:08,485 --> 00:09:11,113 No monkey business in the pool, okay? 208 00:09:11,196 --> 00:09:15,075 Unless of course, you know, you're a monkey and you're doing business. 209 00:09:15,158 --> 00:09:16,118 Oh, thank you, Steve. 210 00:09:16,201 --> 00:09:18,453 Congratulations on your banana deal. 211 00:09:18,537 --> 00:09:21,957 Okay, Steve, I've got this. You two, no fighting in the pool. 212 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:24,751 -He started it! -Oh, yeah? Well, she farted shit! 213 00:09:24,835 --> 00:09:27,004 -[grunts] What the fuck? -[girl] Gross! 214 00:09:27,087 --> 00:09:29,214 That's it! You're both banned for the whole summer. 215 00:09:29,298 --> 00:09:33,468 -You busted my nose, you asshole! -Fuck you, Jay! You ruined my summer! 216 00:09:33,552 --> 00:09:37,556 Hey, hey, hey, I don't wanna hear any more cursing from you two. 217 00:09:37,639 --> 00:09:40,100 Unless, of course, you're U2 cursing. 218 00:09:40,183 --> 00:09:42,936 -Well, shite, Steve. Thanks. -This pool is fuckin' great. 219 00:09:43,020 --> 00:09:45,355 Congratulations on your banana deal... 220 00:09:45,439 --> 00:09:46,398 with Apple. 221 00:09:46,481 --> 00:09:50,277 Please don't make me spend the summer with Nick. 222 00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:52,946 We hate camp. It stinks like trees. 223 00:09:53,030 --> 00:09:55,949 And the boy only likes to poop at home! 224 00:09:56,033 --> 00:09:58,035 Marty, maybe we should just take him back. 225 00:09:58,118 --> 00:09:59,745 And give in to my enemy? 226 00:09:59,828 --> 00:10:01,038 Wait, I'm your enemy? 227 00:10:01,121 --> 00:10:02,664 I thought your enemy was Citi Bike. 228 00:10:02,748 --> 00:10:03,790 No! It's you. 229 00:10:03,874 --> 00:10:06,418 And I've already paid this small, insignificant man. 230 00:10:06,501 --> 00:10:07,336 He's right, Andrew. 231 00:10:07,419 --> 00:10:09,838 He has my check in his hot little hands. 232 00:10:09,921 --> 00:10:11,214 You're staying. 233 00:10:11,298 --> 00:10:14,259 Bye, sweetie. Don't try anything. 234 00:10:15,052 --> 00:10:19,139 Wait! No! Don't leave me here! I'll put  the screens on the house with you! 235 00:10:19,222 --> 00:10:20,515 I'll do anything. 236 00:10:20,599 --> 00:10:21,850 I'll suck your dick. 237 00:10:21,933 --> 00:10:25,687 Whoa, Andrew, you gotta talk to me before you offer to blow your dad. 238 00:10:25,771 --> 00:10:27,981 There's a form you have to fill out, buddy. 239 00:10:29,149 --> 00:10:32,110 Hey, guys, this is Natalie. She'll be in our bunk this summer. 240 00:10:32,194 --> 00:10:36,156 She is trans, so, everybody, just, uh, fucking be cool. 241 00:10:36,239 --> 00:10:37,157 Hey, everyone. 242 00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:38,492 Wait... Gabe? 243 00:10:38,575 --> 00:10:40,410 It's "Natalie," actually. 244 00:10:40,494 --> 00:10:41,536 That is so cool. 245 00:10:41,620 --> 00:10:45,374 Yaas, queen! Go off, girlboss! Pussyhat slay! 246 00:10:45,457 --> 00:10:46,792 Okurrr. 247 00:10:46,875 --> 00:10:48,669 -Hello, Natalie. -Hey, Jessi. 248 00:10:48,752 --> 00:10:49,795 Welcome to the bunk. 249 00:10:49,878 --> 00:10:51,129 What in the hell, girl? 250 00:10:51,213 --> 00:10:53,632 Do you hate Natalie because she's trans? 251 00:10:53,715 --> 00:10:55,509 No! Of course not! 252 00:10:55,592 --> 00:10:58,303 I hate Natalie because last summer she called me "fire crotch," 253 00:10:58,387 --> 00:11:00,764 and the whole camp made fun of my "burning bush." 254 00:11:00,847 --> 00:11:04,142 Well, to me, Connie, that sound like a compliment. 255 00:11:04,226 --> 00:11:05,811 She saw God in your pussy. 256 00:11:05,894 --> 00:11:09,147 This bunk is already way better. The boys were such scrotes. 257 00:11:09,231 --> 00:11:11,149 Scrotes? Ew. What is that? 258 00:11:11,233 --> 00:11:13,068 What are you saying? Don't talk like that. 259 00:11:13,151 --> 00:11:14,695 Oh, sorry. I apologize. 260 00:11:14,778 --> 00:11:16,571 Now, that sounds like a girl. 261 00:11:16,655 --> 00:11:20,242 So, tell me, what kind of girl is this "Natalie"? 262 00:11:20,534 --> 00:11:22,202 -Uh... -Shh! Don't answer. 263 00:11:22,285 --> 00:11:24,329 I see... Hari Nef. 264 00:11:24,413 --> 00:11:27,541 Fashion Week. Gucci. I see snakes everywhere. 265 00:11:27,624 --> 00:11:29,084 Oh, shit, do I get to keep this? 266 00:11:29,167 --> 00:11:30,669 Ooh, I want that coat! 267 00:11:30,752 --> 00:11:33,797 I get my eyes moved, and she gets a $5,000 coat? 268 00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:36,550 Nope. Snakes are phallic, and that's offensive. 269 00:11:36,633 --> 00:11:40,429 We need something inclusive. Think Karlie Kloss. [snaps fingers] 270 00:11:40,512 --> 00:11:43,140 Ooh, with dreadlocks, full geisha. 271 00:11:43,223 --> 00:11:45,308 In a wheelchair. 272 00:11:45,392 --> 00:11:47,144 Now, this feels offensive. 273 00:11:47,227 --> 00:11:48,854 What if we just went classic? 274 00:11:48,937 --> 00:11:50,313 Yes, thank you. 275 00:11:50,397 --> 00:11:54,317 [snaps fingers] Caitlyn Jenner. Silk bustier, MAGA hat, brave. 276 00:11:54,401 --> 00:11:55,569 No! Stop it! 277 00:11:55,652 --> 00:11:57,070 Stop dressing me up! 278 00:11:57,154 --> 00:11:58,363 -What's your problem? -[groaning] 279 00:11:58,447 --> 00:12:00,157 You know what? I'll just wear my own clothes. 280 00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:04,703 No offense, and not to be a bitch, but your current look is pretty butch. 281 00:12:04,786 --> 00:12:07,914 Yeah, don't you wanna, like, pass as a girl or whatever? 282 00:12:07,998 --> 00:12:10,417 -Excuse me? -[mosquito] No! Don't get mad at them. 283 00:12:10,500 --> 00:12:12,961 Just agree with them now and then think about this 284 00:12:13,044 --> 00:12:14,379 for the rest of your life. 285 00:12:14,463 --> 00:12:16,214 Aww, that poor girl. 286 00:12:16,298 --> 00:12:18,049 Say something nice to her, fire crotch. 287 00:12:18,133 --> 00:12:19,217 You know what? No. 288 00:12:19,301 --> 00:12:22,387 She never said anything nice to me, and karma's a bitch. 289 00:12:22,471 --> 00:12:25,223 -Uh-oh. Your eyes are falling again. -Shit. 290 00:12:25,307 --> 00:12:28,059 Do you want the cigar? Or... 291 00:12:28,143 --> 00:12:29,269 Oh, fine. 292 00:12:29,811 --> 00:12:30,896 [chattering] 293 00:12:30,979 --> 00:12:33,190 Okay, deep breath to myself. [sighs] 294 00:12:33,273 --> 00:12:34,524 Look at that little shit, 295 00:12:34,608 --> 00:12:36,485 cutting his spaghetti with a fork and knife. 296 00:12:36,568 --> 00:12:39,029 Twirl it with a spoon, you fucking child. 297 00:12:39,112 --> 00:12:41,198 -Okay, you can do this. -[buzzing] 298 00:12:41,281 --> 00:12:44,117 [grunts] It won't be so bad, it won't be so bad... 299 00:12:44,201 --> 00:12:45,035 [swallows] Andrew? 300 00:12:45,118 --> 00:12:47,704 -Oh, Nick! -What are you doing here? 301 00:12:47,788 --> 00:12:52,000 Much like Johnny Depp in the shower, I am here against my will. 302 00:12:52,083 --> 00:12:53,460 -Maurice. -Constance. 303 00:12:53,543 --> 00:12:58,131 I think it's best for everyone if the boys keep their distance this summer. 304 00:12:58,215 --> 00:12:59,132 I couldn't agree more. 305 00:12:59,216 --> 00:13:02,511 But you can still bust open my biscuit once in a while. 306 00:13:02,594 --> 00:13:04,888 Mm. I love a country breakfast. 307 00:13:04,971 --> 00:13:06,848 Wait a minute. You're Andrew Glouberman? 308 00:13:06,932 --> 00:13:10,268 Well, that's what it says on every piece of clothing I brought here. 309 00:13:10,352 --> 00:13:11,895 Dude! You're school "me"! 310 00:13:11,978 --> 00:13:14,231 I'm Seth Goldberg! Camp "you"! 311 00:13:14,314 --> 00:13:15,190 Have a seat, man. 312 00:13:15,273 --> 00:13:16,691 Milk, fuck off. Get lost. 313 00:13:16,775 --> 00:13:20,237 It's actually time for my activity, so in fact, you're doing me a favor. 314 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:22,906 -Oh, no, please. Uh, Milk, is it? -It is. 315 00:13:22,989 --> 00:13:23,824 I, uh... 316 00:13:23,907 --> 00:13:26,910 I think I'm just gonna head down to the bunk and unpack my duffel bag. 317 00:13:26,993 --> 00:13:28,912 -Andrew, I found that form you wanted. -What form? 318 00:13:28,995 --> 00:13:31,706 -For sucking your dad's dick. -I don't wanna suck my dad's dick. 319 00:13:31,790 --> 00:13:33,917 Well, then why did I bring my notary pubic? 320 00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:36,545 Uh, yeah, just happy to get out of the house. 321 00:13:36,628 --> 00:13:39,965 Not as many people sucking their dad's dick around here these days. 322 00:13:41,216 --> 00:13:43,093 [Lola grunting] 323 00:13:44,302 --> 00:13:46,263 Oh. It's, like, you. 324 00:13:46,346 --> 00:13:48,181 Dismount. Kickstand. 325 00:13:48,265 --> 00:13:49,140 Stay. 326 00:13:49,224 --> 00:13:51,643 What, are you, like, turning tricks in the parking lot? 327 00:13:51,726 --> 00:13:55,230 No, magicians do tricks, Lola, we don't turn them. 328 00:13:55,355 --> 00:13:56,398 I fuck for free. 329 00:13:56,481 --> 00:13:59,234 So then, like, what is the meaning of this? 330 00:13:59,317 --> 00:14:02,529 Uh, I'm making a bomb by pouring Baba Booey boner pills 331 00:14:02,612 --> 00:14:03,905 into a Monster Energy drink. 332 00:14:03,989 --> 00:14:04,865 Ah-doy! 333 00:14:04,948 --> 00:14:08,910 Monster Energy drink! Brings out the monster in you, baby! 334 00:14:08,994 --> 00:14:10,996 What the hell? He got the job? 335 00:14:11,079 --> 00:14:12,664 Yeah! What are you gonna do? 336 00:14:12,747 --> 00:14:14,457 What am I gonna do? I'm gonna call my agent. 337 00:14:14,541 --> 00:14:16,251 He said I was "in the mix." 338 00:14:16,334 --> 00:14:19,170 Hey, yeah, this is Mo Beverley for Adam. 339 00:14:19,254 --> 00:14:21,631 Yeah, I'll hold for a long time. 340 00:14:21,715 --> 00:14:23,967 You know, if you really want that thing  to explode, 341 00:14:24,050 --> 00:14:27,470 try adding a pinch of my mom's Ukrainian diet pills. 342 00:14:27,554 --> 00:14:29,139 -Good call. -[liquid bubbling] 343 00:14:29,222 --> 00:14:30,348 Here we go! 344 00:14:31,558 --> 00:14:34,978 -[shouts] Holy shit! -Yes! Everything must break! 345 00:14:35,061 --> 00:14:37,606 You little shits! That flew right into my butt! 346 00:14:37,689 --> 00:14:38,815 It's still on fire! 347 00:14:38,899 --> 00:14:40,150 Run, Lola, run! 348 00:14:40,233 --> 00:14:43,403 -No, Jay! Jump in my basket, Jay. -[grunts] 349 00:14:43,486 --> 00:14:47,115 My proctologist is never gonna believe I didn't do this to myself. 350 00:14:47,866 --> 00:14:49,117 Do you like my swim trunks? 351 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:51,494 They're "Michael Caine" for Marks and Spencer. 352 00:14:51,578 --> 00:14:54,873 Now let's make like a tea bag and bob around in the water for a bit. 353 00:14:54,956 --> 00:14:56,374 I can't believe Andrew showed up. 354 00:14:56,458 --> 00:14:58,251 Is it still weird between you guys? 355 00:14:58,335 --> 00:15:00,086 Yeah, it's kind of a bummer. 356 00:15:00,170 --> 00:15:02,172 [Connie] You fucking hate it, Nicky! 357 00:15:02,255 --> 00:15:03,715 I honestly feel kinda bad for him. 358 00:15:03,798 --> 00:15:06,468 I mean, I have Seth, and he's got nobody here. 359 00:15:06,551 --> 00:15:10,013 [Connie] Fuck him! This is our camp. 360 00:15:10,096 --> 00:15:12,933 [scoffs] Yeah, I'm kind of going through a similar thing right now 361 00:15:13,016 --> 00:15:15,143 -with Natalie-- -You're right, Andrew's not my problem. 362 00:15:15,226 --> 00:15:17,395 -Uh... -This was a good talk. Thanks, Jessi. 363 00:15:17,479 --> 00:15:19,439 Yeah, cool, thanks. Great catching up. 364 00:15:19,522 --> 00:15:22,776 Did you see me, Jessi? Going by? When Nick was ignoring you? 365 00:15:22,859 --> 00:15:24,069 I don't wanna go in. 366 00:15:24,152 --> 00:15:28,198 The water looks cold and brown, and I know the bottom's gonna be squeeshy! 367 00:15:28,281 --> 00:15:29,282 Hey, we're twinsies! 368 00:15:29,366 --> 00:15:30,700 Yeah, same UV shirt. 369 00:15:30,784 --> 00:15:34,079 Yeah, my mom makes me wear these ‘cause she's afraid of, like, everything. 370 00:15:34,162 --> 00:15:36,665 You know, my mom is terrified of everything as well. 371 00:15:36,748 --> 00:15:38,917 Well, to be fair, my aunts died of melanoma. 372 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:41,878 What are the odds? My aunt also died of skin cancer! 373 00:15:41,962 --> 00:15:44,005 -Whoa! -The same aunt that got married this year? 374 00:15:44,089 --> 00:15:47,801 Um, idiot, that was a lie I told 'cause I was addicted to porn. 375 00:15:47,884 --> 00:15:49,386 I got addicted to porn this year too! 376 00:15:49,469 --> 00:15:51,096 -Wonderful! -It was pretty painful. 377 00:15:51,179 --> 00:15:53,139 Andrew, this kid's likable. I like him. 378 00:15:53,223 --> 00:15:54,724 Okay, let me ask you this. 379 00:15:54,808 --> 00:15:57,936 What type of porn made you, you know, 380 00:15:58,019 --> 00:16:00,939 messy the computer chair in your family room? 381 00:16:01,022 --> 00:16:02,899 Well, like, I started on stepmom stuff, 382 00:16:02,983 --> 00:16:05,694 and then I found this Russian webcam chick, Svetlana-- 383 00:16:05,777 --> 00:16:08,571 Svetlana! Oh, my gosh! I bought her a mini-fridge. 384 00:16:08,655 --> 00:16:11,533 No way! I bought her one of those Green Egg barbecue smokers. 385 00:16:11,616 --> 00:16:12,450 That's amazing! 386 00:16:12,534 --> 00:16:14,869 They're bonding! This is bad. [groans] 387 00:16:14,953 --> 00:16:16,246 Fuck you, water skis! 388 00:16:16,329 --> 00:16:18,832 Look, guys, I think we can agree, you're both pretty gross. 389 00:16:18,915 --> 00:16:22,335 Well, if sending your cousin a picture of your girthy hog is gross... 390 00:16:22,419 --> 00:16:25,630 -[laughs] -...then I am 26 times gross. 391 00:16:25,714 --> 00:16:28,049 I also sent my cousin a dick pic. 392 00:16:28,133 --> 00:16:30,885 Technically it was my aunt, but she was one of those young aunts. 393 00:16:30,969 --> 00:16:32,137 Oh, a young aunt. 394 00:16:32,262 --> 00:16:35,724 Sounds like your grandma stayed fertile for a long time. 395 00:16:36,224 --> 00:16:38,309 [girl] Come on, Natalie, it's only been one day. 396 00:16:38,393 --> 00:16:40,270 I just really wanna go home. 397 00:16:40,353 --> 00:16:43,273 I really wanna go on Birthright, but I'm not Jewish. 398 00:16:43,356 --> 00:16:44,899 We both just have to be strong. 399 00:16:44,983 --> 00:16:48,862 I tried being strong, and it did not work, so please, just let me go. 400 00:16:48,945 --> 00:16:52,365 -Oh. Natalie wants to go home? -Good, I hope she does. 401 00:16:52,449 --> 00:16:56,411 Jessica Cobain Glaser, this is not the kind of woman you wanna be! 402 00:16:56,494 --> 00:16:58,663 -That girl needs a friend! -[sighs] 403 00:16:58,747 --> 00:17:02,208 And so do I! To help me get out  of these water skis! 404 00:17:02,292 --> 00:17:03,293 Oh, wow. 405 00:17:03,376 --> 00:17:05,003 [grunts] Those are really on there. 406 00:17:05,086 --> 00:17:06,629 I have a wedding this weekend. 407 00:17:06,713 --> 00:17:09,257 The bride will kill me if I show up like this. 408 00:17:09,340 --> 00:17:10,633 Also, I can't work Saturday. 409 00:17:11,176 --> 00:17:13,803 [both whooping, exclaiming] 410 00:17:13,887 --> 00:17:16,473 It's so cool you get to watch those people 411 00:17:16,556 --> 00:17:19,309 -do naked muay thai! -How do you know they're doing muay thai? 412 00:17:19,392 --> 00:17:20,226 -[woman] Muay! -Thai! 413 00:17:20,310 --> 00:17:21,144 -Muay! -Thai! 414 00:17:21,227 --> 00:17:22,187 -Muay! -Thai! 415 00:17:22,270 --> 00:17:23,605 Land. Stay. 416 00:17:23,772 --> 00:17:27,317 And now something that's been, like, bugging me for almost minutes. 417 00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:29,402 Are you, like, alone all the time? 418 00:17:29,486 --> 00:17:32,155 Basically. Except when my brothers drop by and fart in my mouth. 419 00:17:32,238 --> 00:17:35,825 Well, my mom only really comes home to hide hand-gums for her boyfriends. 420 00:17:35,909 --> 00:17:38,244 Well, sure, of course. You gotta hide those hand-gums. 421 00:17:38,328 --> 00:17:40,747 Jay, no offense, but your house is, like, no joke, 422 00:17:40,830 --> 00:17:41,748 like, amazing. 423 00:17:41,831 --> 00:17:42,999 Oh, yeah! 424 00:17:43,083 --> 00:17:45,794 It's so much better than that gay public pool, 425 00:17:45,877 --> 00:17:49,005 which by the way, I'm allowed to say now because I'm bi. 426 00:17:49,089 --> 00:17:50,882 I don't even get what that is for guys. 427 00:17:50,965 --> 00:17:53,885 Is that, like, when the same actor plays twins in a movie? 428 00:17:53,968 --> 00:17:55,678 -Not at all. -And, like, on that note, 429 00:17:55,762 --> 00:17:57,639 -like, we should build our own pool! -Yeah. 430 00:17:57,722 --> 00:17:58,932 I love that idea! 431 00:17:59,015 --> 00:18:00,892 Let's build our own pool. Right here! 432 00:18:00,975 --> 00:18:02,602 We could use my dad's grave scoopers. 433 00:18:02,685 --> 00:18:05,146 Ugh! This one's still got lye on it. Be careful. 434 00:18:05,230 --> 00:18:07,649 Oh, my God, did your dad Breaking Bad someone back here? 435 00:18:07,732 --> 00:18:10,485 My dad Breaking Bads people all the time. 436 00:18:10,568 --> 00:18:12,195 [barks] 437 00:18:12,278 --> 00:18:13,530 Pool. Pool. 438 00:18:13,905 --> 00:18:17,242 I can't help but think I'll be the one maintaining the pool. 439 00:18:20,662 --> 00:18:21,996 -Hey. -Good opening. 440 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:25,500 Are you here to tell me I'm butch or ask me what my crotch looks like? 441 00:18:25,583 --> 00:18:29,254 I just wanted to say coming back  to camp seems really hard. 442 00:18:29,337 --> 00:18:31,297 Uh, yeah. I used to love it here. 443 00:18:31,381 --> 00:18:33,299 Last summer, the boys threw me a pizza party 444 00:18:33,383 --> 00:18:34,968 when I pissed in Milk's liquid soap. 445 00:18:35,051 --> 00:18:36,594 Ask her how those boys got pizza. 446 00:18:36,678 --> 00:18:38,847 You give the counselor money, and they go into town. 447 00:18:38,930 --> 00:18:41,266 Okay! I've never been to sleepaway camp. 448 00:18:41,349 --> 00:18:42,892 You may proceed with the scene. 449 00:18:42,976 --> 00:18:45,854 So did you, like, already know last summer? 450 00:18:45,937 --> 00:18:47,063 -That I was a girl? -Yeah. 451 00:18:47,147 --> 00:18:49,190 Kinda. I mean, this is gonna sound weird, 452 00:18:49,274 --> 00:18:53,111 but when I started going through puberty, it was like this monster showed up. 453 00:18:53,194 --> 00:18:55,864 All right, buddy, we're gonna give you broad, hairy shoulders 454 00:18:55,947 --> 00:18:57,657 and a high fucking ass! 455 00:18:57,740 --> 00:19:02,162 Oh! And you're gonna get more pussy than a no-kill animal shelter. 456 00:19:02,245 --> 00:19:05,081 No! Get away from me, you horny psycho! 457 00:19:05,165 --> 00:19:06,624 I think maybe I'm gay. 458 00:19:06,708 --> 00:19:08,626 Yeah, I did kinda think you were gay. 459 00:19:08,710 --> 00:19:12,213 So did I. But then I sang this duet with the ghost of Freddie Mercury-- 460 00:19:12,297 --> 00:19:13,214 Sure, as one does. 461 00:19:13,298 --> 00:19:15,633 ♪ Be gay, totally gay ♪ 462 00:19:15,717 --> 00:19:18,553 And I realized that didn't feel right either. 463 00:19:18,636 --> 00:19:20,638 It was something more than that. 464 00:19:20,722 --> 00:19:22,599 What's your fucking problem, kid? 465 00:19:22,682 --> 00:19:26,269 I don't know. I just know I hate you and what you're doing to my body. 466 00:19:26,352 --> 00:19:27,770 Nobody likes puberty! 467 00:19:27,854 --> 00:19:29,856 That's why they made the fucking show! 468 00:19:29,939 --> 00:19:33,860 It was like I was vibrating at this weird frequency all the time. 469 00:19:33,943 --> 00:19:34,986 -Hey, I get it. -Huh. 470 00:19:35,069 --> 00:19:36,779 But then I found this forum for trans kids. 471 00:19:36,863 --> 00:19:39,199 And it was like, "That's who I am." 472 00:19:39,282 --> 00:19:40,408 So I told my parents. 473 00:19:40,491 --> 00:19:42,660 -Oh, God. Did they freak out? -Sort of, yeah. 474 00:19:42,744 --> 00:19:45,955 But then my mom started listening to Lady Gaga, and sadly, 475 00:19:46,039 --> 00:19:48,541 -that's what made her come around. -Don't love, but go on. 476 00:19:48,625 --> 00:19:52,128 I like that movie where her boyfriend pissed his pants at the Grammys. 477 00:19:52,212 --> 00:19:54,756 So we decided I should go on hormone blockers... 478 00:19:54,839 --> 00:19:57,133 All right, let's get you some toe hair. 479 00:19:57,217 --> 00:19:58,343 -[banging] -What the--? 480 00:19:58,426 --> 00:20:01,304 Fuck you! I was gonna make you such a man. 481 00:20:01,387 --> 00:20:03,056 You were gonna have dry knees, 482 00:20:03,139 --> 00:20:06,517 and the confidence to wear flip-flops with long fucking nails. 483 00:20:06,601 --> 00:20:10,355 And now you'll never write for Bill Maher! 484 00:20:10,438 --> 00:20:14,734 And now I'm here, and the boys are dicks, and the girls are also dicks, 485 00:20:14,817 --> 00:20:16,402 -but, like-- -In a more decimating way? 486 00:20:16,486 --> 00:20:17,779 Yes! What is up with that? 487 00:20:17,862 --> 00:20:21,282 Listen, I know they're sociopaths, but I'm not. 488 00:20:21,366 --> 00:20:24,285 And if you leave, I'll be all alone. 489 00:20:24,369 --> 00:20:27,455 But if you stayed, we could suffer together 490 00:20:27,538 --> 00:20:29,457 as, like, friendskis? 491 00:20:29,540 --> 00:20:31,834 Really? You wanna be friendskis with me? 492 00:20:31,918 --> 00:20:33,169 I wish I didn't say it that way, 493 00:20:33,253 --> 00:20:34,170 -but yeah. -Okay. 494 00:20:34,254 --> 00:20:35,922 Yep, I looked it up. 495 00:20:36,005 --> 00:20:38,716 Bill Maher has, like, no female writers. 496 00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:41,844 I guess you can get away with anything if you're gorgeous. 497 00:20:41,928 --> 00:20:43,179 Go fish, Drew-dog. 498 00:20:43,263 --> 00:20:46,766 Don't mind if I do, Seth by Chocolate. I'm sorry, I'll work on that. 499 00:20:46,849 --> 00:20:49,769 They got cutesy nicknames? Uh-oh. I don't like this. 500 00:20:49,852 --> 00:20:51,437 Ah, it's okay. I'm not worried. 501 00:20:51,521 --> 00:20:53,356 Seth will eventually see that Andrew's a dork. 502 00:20:53,439 --> 00:20:56,526 Hey, Seth Amphetamine, can I show you something? 503 00:20:56,609 --> 00:20:57,485 -Oh, yeah-- -Be honest. 504 00:20:57,568 --> 00:21:01,656 What do you think of the bandanna? Is it too, you know, David Foster Wallace? 505 00:21:01,739 --> 00:21:05,868 I think it's a little more like David Foster Fabulous! 506 00:21:05,952 --> 00:21:06,786 -[laughs] -Yes! 507 00:21:06,869 --> 00:21:08,955 Oh, no, you're right! They're bonding! 508 00:21:09,038 --> 00:21:10,373 They're both dorks! 509 00:21:10,456 --> 00:21:12,417 Andrew's gonna tell Seth that I'm a bad guy. 510 00:21:12,500 --> 00:21:14,294 -He's gonna tell him about Missy! -Oh, shit! 511 00:21:14,377 --> 00:21:17,505 Get in there! Be a little knife and stab their conversation. 512 00:21:17,588 --> 00:21:20,008 -Hey, guys. Um, I'm not a bad guy. -Okay. 513 00:21:20,091 --> 00:21:22,385 And by the way, you guys look fucking ridiculous. 514 00:21:22,468 --> 00:21:24,929 Like the Crips and the Bloods hired teenage accountants. 515 00:21:25,013 --> 00:21:26,931 What? What is your problem this summer, dude? 516 00:21:27,015 --> 00:21:28,891 This! This is my problem! 517 00:21:28,975 --> 00:21:31,936 Your weird little friendship. Your stupid bandanas. 518 00:21:32,020 --> 00:21:33,479 Your circle jerks! 519 00:21:33,563 --> 00:21:36,190 Hey! You need at least three people for a proper circle jerk. 520 00:21:36,274 --> 00:21:37,692 Otherwise, it's a double toss-off. 521 00:21:37,775 --> 00:21:38,860 God, I love this kid. 522 00:21:38,943 --> 00:21:40,486 Nick, you're kinda being an asshole. 523 00:21:40,570 --> 00:21:42,113 -Yeah, dude. -I'm not the asshole. 524 00:21:42,196 --> 00:21:43,823 You guys are the assholes! 525 00:21:43,906 --> 00:21:46,034 Seth was mine. You stole my Seth! 526 00:21:46,117 --> 00:21:47,410 Dude, weird thing to say. 527 00:21:47,493 --> 00:21:49,078 This summer fucking sucks! 528 00:21:49,162 --> 00:21:51,414 Can't get my damn water skis off. 529 00:21:51,497 --> 00:21:54,417 This was my camp! You're not even supposed to be here. 530 00:21:54,500 --> 00:21:57,962 Nick, Nick. I think maybe you're just hungry. 531 00:21:58,046 --> 00:21:59,547 Do you... [grunts] 532 00:21:59,630 --> 00:22:01,049 -Do you want a duck egg? -[gasps] 533 00:22:01,132 --> 00:22:03,384 -Shit! You got him with the duck egg! -[both laughing] 534 00:22:03,468 --> 00:22:06,137 He looked at your nut. This summer rules! 535 00:22:06,220 --> 00:22:08,389 Fuck you! Fuck you both! 536 00:22:08,473 --> 00:22:12,435 Yeah. Wah-wah! Run away, you backstabbing bitch baby! 537 00:22:12,518 --> 00:22:14,896 -Shut up, Maury, you fucking asshole! -Oh! 538 00:22:14,979 --> 00:22:18,107 That feels good. Stick the other one in and pry me open. 539 00:22:18,191 --> 00:22:19,817 I hate that you like this. 540 00:22:19,901 --> 00:22:22,653 But it's the only way to get my skis off. 541 00:22:22,737 --> 00:22:23,613 Ooh! 542 00:22:23,696 --> 00:22:27,992 My proctologist is never gonna  believe I didn't do this to myself. 543 00:22:29,744 --> 00:22:31,204 It was honestly cool 544 00:22:31,287 --> 00:22:33,873 how those two skeletons we found were hugging each other. 545 00:22:33,956 --> 00:22:36,084 Yeah. You're, like, an amazing digger. 546 00:22:36,167 --> 00:22:38,044 -You stupid turd! -What the hell? 547 00:22:38,127 --> 00:22:40,630 How many times do I have to tell you I'm a girl? 548 00:22:40,713 --> 00:22:41,923 We're not supposed to be strong 549 00:22:42,006 --> 00:22:43,758 -and good at work. -Okay! 550 00:22:43,841 --> 00:22:47,512 We're supposed to be pretty and delicate, like big old fake tits. 551 00:22:47,595 --> 00:22:49,180 Hey, Jay, who's your new boyfriend? 552 00:22:49,263 --> 00:22:51,391 Shut up! Lola's a girl. 553 00:22:51,474 --> 00:22:54,018 She's pretty, and she's not good at anything. 554 00:22:54,102 --> 00:22:55,395 -Is that right? -Yeah. 555 00:22:55,478 --> 00:22:58,689 I get it. You guys are digging us a giant toilet. Thanks! 556 00:22:58,773 --> 00:23:00,775 [Kurt] Hope we don't accidentally  piss on you. 557 00:23:00,858 --> 00:23:03,611 Jay! Reverse Chicken 69! 558 00:23:03,694 --> 00:23:05,363 Here we go! 559 00:23:05,446 --> 00:23:06,823 [grunts]  560 00:23:06,906 --> 00:23:08,408 [straining] 561 00:23:08,533 --> 00:23:12,620 Nobody pisses on Lola Ugfuglio Skumpy! 562 00:23:12,703 --> 00:23:14,163 -[Val grunts] -[Kurt groans] 563 00:23:14,247 --> 00:23:16,249 -Ugh! -Holy shit! 564 00:23:16,332 --> 00:23:19,043 That was... so hot. 565 00:23:19,127 --> 00:23:21,963 You think that was hot? You should taste my mouth. 566 00:23:22,046 --> 00:23:24,048 I want you to protect the shit outta me. 567 00:23:24,132 --> 00:23:26,843 Let's protect the shit out of each other. 568 00:23:27,260 --> 00:23:29,637 [slurping] 569 00:23:30,847 --> 00:23:32,598 [Lola] Oh, my God, you french so hard. 570 00:23:32,682 --> 00:23:36,310 I'm gonna push your tongue out a fucking window. 571 00:23:36,394 --> 00:23:39,063 -[boys moaning] -[slurping continues] 572 00:23:41,357 --> 00:23:43,067 All right, the trick here is, 573 00:23:43,151 --> 00:23:44,902 the first cup of shit we'll hide someplace 574 00:23:44,986 --> 00:23:46,404 where the boys can easily find it. 575 00:23:46,487 --> 00:23:47,405 I'm listening. 576 00:23:47,488 --> 00:23:49,740 But the second cup we're gonna hide up in the rafters. 577 00:23:49,824 --> 00:23:51,617 Okay, you're amazing, 578 00:23:51,701 --> 00:23:53,786 but can I just get some credit for shitting in a cup 579 00:23:53,870 --> 00:23:55,288 before you even told me what it was for? 580 00:23:55,371 --> 00:23:57,165 Whoa, you shit in the cup? 581 00:23:57,248 --> 00:23:59,375 I just picked up some raccoon poop from the woods. 582 00:23:59,459 --> 00:24:00,293 Oh, my God, what? 583 00:24:00,376 --> 00:24:02,962 I'm just kidding, it's from my ass. Cheers. 584 00:24:03,045 --> 00:24:06,591 -[panting] Andrew and Seth are assholes! -[insects buzzing] 585 00:24:06,674 --> 00:24:10,178 Ugh! Why are there so many fucking  mosquitoes? I can't breathe! 586 00:24:10,261 --> 00:24:11,471 I'm fucking freaking out. 587 00:24:11,554 --> 00:24:14,724 [mosquito] Oh, no! Are you having a panic attack? 588 00:24:14,807 --> 00:24:16,350 What? Who said that? 589 00:24:16,434 --> 00:24:17,393 Me! I did! 590 00:24:17,477 --> 00:24:18,978 [screams] What the hell are you? 591 00:24:19,061 --> 00:24:21,314 I'm Tito, the anxiety mosquito! 592 00:24:21,397 --> 00:24:22,607 Anxiety mosquito? 593 00:24:22,690 --> 00:24:24,066 -[chomps] I'm sorry. -Ow! 594 00:24:24,150 --> 00:24:26,652 People hate it when I do that. They hate it when I do everything. 595 00:24:26,736 --> 00:24:28,404 But do I stop? No! 596 00:24:28,488 --> 00:24:29,989 -[buzzes] Zing! -Oh, fuck! 597 00:24:30,072 --> 00:24:32,241 -I'm so sorry, but I can't stop. -[grunts] 598 00:24:32,325 --> 00:24:33,618 You killed me! 599 00:24:33,701 --> 00:24:35,453 I get it. I'm the worst. 600 00:24:35,536 --> 00:24:36,496 But so are you. 601 00:24:36,579 --> 00:24:38,372 I know. Andrew hates me. 602 00:24:38,456 --> 00:24:39,624 And so does Seth. 603 00:24:39,707 --> 00:24:41,501 They're probably making fun  of you right now. 604 00:24:41,584 --> 00:24:43,878 -You think so? -Here's what they're definitely saying. 605 00:24:43,961 --> 00:24:46,547 "Nick is a little whiny baby!" 606 00:24:46,631 --> 00:24:48,966 "Let's jerk off on his pillow." [cackles] 607 00:24:49,050 --> 00:24:51,219 No, please stop saying this stuff! 608 00:24:51,302 --> 00:24:54,722 You're gonna have the worst summer. Everyone's gonna hate you. 609 00:24:54,805 --> 00:24:56,224 Oh, shit, they are. 610 00:24:56,307 --> 00:24:59,101 They're gonna know you're a selfish little prick who has a little prick 611 00:24:59,185 --> 00:25:00,645 that nobody wants to fuck. 612 00:25:00,728 --> 00:25:02,897 You're gonna die a virgin. All alone! 613 00:25:02,980 --> 00:25:05,858 As the world explodes from global warming! 614 00:25:05,942 --> 00:25:08,319 You dead, lonely little virgin! 615 00:25:08,444 --> 00:25:12,782 I don't want to be a dead, lonely little virgin. [sobs] 616 00:25:12,865 --> 00:25:16,494 ♪ Mosquito drink most anything ♪ 617 00:25:16,786 --> 00:25:19,997 ♪ Whatever's left Mosquito scream ♪ 618 00:25:20,081 --> 00:25:23,876 ♪ I'll suck your blood I'll suck your blood ♪ 619 00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:28,256 ♪ I'll suck your blood, suck your Suck your, suck your blood ♪ 620 00:25:28,339 --> 00:25:31,634 ♪ Suck your blood I'll suck your blood ♪ 621 00:25:31,717 --> 00:25:36,222 ♪ I'll suck your blood, suck your Suck your, suck your blood ♪ 622 00:25:38,140 --> 00:25:40,268 [buzzing] 623 00:25:44,021 --> 00:25:45,189 [grunts] 624 00:25:47,775 --> 00:25:48,776 ♪ Ahh! ♪ 625 00:25:52,029 --> 00:25:55,783 ♪ Mosquito sing, mosquito cry ♪ 626 00:25:55,866 --> 00:25:59,412 ♪ Mosquito live, Mosquito die ♪ 627 00:25:59,745 --> 00:26:03,583 ♪ Mosquito land on your neck ♪ 628 00:26:03,666 --> 00:26:04,834 ♪ Mosquito drink... ♪  629 00:26:04,917 --> 00:26:06,836 -[man] Fathouse. -[ticking] 630 00:26:06,919 --> 00:26:09,338 [man laughs] "Good at Bizness." 631 00:26:09,422 --> 00:26:11,340 -[man] Chirp. -[kazoo plays fanfare]