1
00:00:08,070 --> 00:00:11,198
[Nick] So, I'm in the haunted house,
and there's this creepy clown chasing me,

2
00:00:11,282 --> 00:00:14,452
but then it turns out
the clown is really Nick Starr.

3
00:00:14,535 --> 00:00:16,746
And he's you from the future?

4
00:00:16,829 --> 00:00:17,663
Exactly!

5
00:00:17,747 --> 00:00:20,875
And then "future" me stabbed 
"me" me with a knife!

6
00:00:20,958 --> 00:00:24,378
Wow! Halloween has gotten
so much more exciting!

7
00:00:24,462 --> 00:00:28,174
In my day, we'd just go around
begging people to smell our feet,

8
00:00:28,257 --> 00:00:31,594
hoping they would give us
something good to eat.

9
00:00:31,677 --> 00:00:33,012
-[laughs]
-It was so real, Duke,

10
00:00:33,095 --> 00:00:34,930
and now I just feel weird.

11
00:00:35,014 --> 00:00:39,268
Hmm, my one thought is
maybe it's because you're a ghost.

12
00:00:39,351 --> 00:00:40,478
A ghost?

13
00:00:40,561 --> 00:00:42,688
Holy shit, I'm dead!

14
00:00:42,772 --> 00:00:44,440
My family must be freaking out!

15
00:00:44,523 --> 00:00:46,859
-Oh, God!
-Whose attic are you gonna live in?

16
00:00:46,942 --> 00:00:49,695
'Cause I'm not looking for a roommate.
[laughs]

17
00:00:49,779 --> 00:00:50,696
Mom! Dad!

18
00:00:50,780 --> 00:00:52,490
Everyone, I'd like to make a toast...

19
00:00:52,573 --> 00:00:55,034
by warming up some bread
and putting butter on it.

20
00:00:55,117 --> 00:00:59,038
[chuckles] That's a morning joke,
but I do wanna make a toast...

21
00:00:59,121 --> 00:01:00,206
to humor.

22
00:01:00,289 --> 00:01:01,499
Hello! Guys!

23
00:01:01,582 --> 00:01:03,501
Can you hear me? Oh, God, no.

24
00:01:03,626 --> 00:01:05,711
-Good morning, family, and God bless.
-What the--

25
00:01:05,795 --> 00:01:06,670
Who the fuck is that?

26
00:01:06,754 --> 00:01:10,007
Very spiffy, Nicky. What's the occasion?

27
00:01:10,091 --> 00:01:11,342
Me going out in public, Diane.

28
00:01:11,425 --> 00:01:12,384
-Wait.
-And I say this

29
00:01:12,468 --> 00:01:13,844
with genuine condescension,

30
00:01:13,928 --> 00:01:15,304
you could all dress a bit better.

31
00:01:15,387 --> 00:01:17,640
Oh, no. Is that Nick Starr?

32
00:01:17,723 --> 00:01:20,810
I think you look like a tiny, precious
Audi salesman.

33
00:01:20,893 --> 00:01:21,894
How about a breakfast hug?

34
00:01:21,977 --> 00:01:24,730
Hard pass. How about
a nice fist bump instead?

35
00:01:24,814 --> 00:01:26,899
So, hold on, am I actually dead?

36
00:01:26,982 --> 00:01:29,318
Not if that creep took over your body.

37
00:01:29,401 --> 00:01:32,488
You must be a lost soul.

38
00:01:32,571 --> 00:01:33,739
A "lost soul"?

39
00:01:33,823 --> 00:01:35,407
A disembodied spirit.

40
00:01:35,491 --> 00:01:38,285
You're not dead, but part of your soul is.

41
00:01:38,369 --> 00:01:39,495
Like Mark Zuckerberg.

42
00:01:39,578 --> 00:01:42,164
Ciao, family. My Uber Select is here.

43
00:01:42,248 --> 00:01:43,791
-[Diane] Love you, Nicky!
-What am I gonna do?

44
00:01:43,874 --> 00:01:45,876
Yeah, what are you gonna do?

45
00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:48,170
Not now, Rick. I'm a fucking ghost!

46
00:01:48,254 --> 00:01:50,339
You wanna fuck a ghost?
Okay, who do I know?

47
00:01:50,422 --> 00:01:51,841
Ooh! How about Casper?

48
00:01:51,924 --> 00:01:55,427
He's cute. He's on TV.
He's got that mattress money.

49
00:01:55,511 --> 00:01:57,054
Uh, cha-ching, baby!

50
00:01:57,138 --> 00:01:59,390
["Changes" by Charles Bradley plays]

51
00:01:59,473 --> 00:02:04,979
♪ I'm going through changes ♪

52
00:02:08,899 --> 00:02:14,738
♪ I'm going through changes ♪

53
00:02:15,197 --> 00:02:17,283
♪ Oh, in my life ♪

54
00:02:18,826 --> 00:02:21,829
♪ Oh, ooh, ooh! ♪

55
00:02:30,629 --> 00:02:32,423
So, I tell Lola I love her,

56
00:02:32,506 --> 00:02:35,676
and she just says,
"Aw, thanks. You're cool too."

57
00:02:35,759 --> 00:02:39,263
That's bullshit, Jay.
What an icy cold twat.

58
00:02:39,346 --> 00:02:40,264
Yeah, bro!

59
00:02:40,347 --> 00:02:42,349
I can say "I love you" so easy.

60
00:02:42,433 --> 00:02:45,227
I fucking love you with everything I am:

61
00:02:45,311 --> 00:02:47,980
mind, body and polyurethane foam.

62
00:02:48,063 --> 00:02:50,107
I don't know,
maybe Lola's right not to love me.

63
00:02:50,191 --> 00:02:51,567
Are you insane?

64
00:02:51,650 --> 00:02:55,362
You're a sexy 40-year-old magician
with a ridiculous dick!

65
00:02:55,446 --> 00:02:56,280
Hell, yeah!

66
00:02:56,363 --> 00:02:59,742
I'm getting hot just thinking about
your hanging flapper resting on my chin--

67
00:02:59,825 --> 00:03:02,912
-Hang on.
-I wanna blow your Greek penis.

68
00:03:02,995 --> 00:03:05,247
-Ooh!
-Oh, Lord! Me too!

69
00:03:05,331 --> 00:03:08,459
I want you to bang me so hard 
I get Bell's palsy!

70
00:03:08,542 --> 00:03:10,586
Wow. Okay, I don't know, guys.

71
00:03:10,669 --> 00:03:12,838
[sighs] I'm kind of in 
a relationship right now.

72
00:03:12,922 --> 00:03:14,006
[chuckles] Yeah.

73
00:03:14,089 --> 00:03:16,217
With someone who doesn't even love you.

74
00:03:16,300 --> 00:03:19,511
Exactly! Look, bro, do what you wanna do,

75
00:03:19,595 --> 00:03:20,930
but I'm just gonna bend over

76
00:03:21,013 --> 00:03:23,390
-and pick up this penny right now...
-[Jay moans]

77
00:03:23,474 --> 00:03:24,433
Damn.

78
00:03:24,516 --> 00:03:28,312
I can feel the breeze hit 
my open, dirty ass.

79
00:03:28,395 --> 00:03:29,855
Fuck!

80
00:03:29,939 --> 00:03:31,023
[school bell rings]

81
00:03:31,106 --> 00:03:32,524
Okay, here we go.

82
00:03:32,608 --> 00:03:34,735
I'm gonna try
this gratitude thing in real life.

83
00:03:34,818 --> 00:03:36,654
That's right. Go get him, little red.

84
00:03:36,737 --> 00:03:39,490
Ugh, but Matthew's gonna think
I'm so corny.

85
00:03:39,573 --> 00:03:41,617
I'll tell you what's corny, me poops.

86
00:03:41,700 --> 00:03:43,452
I had some grilled corn last night.

87
00:03:43,535 --> 00:03:44,703
So good!

88
00:03:44,787 --> 00:03:47,665
-Gift of the Americas.
-Okay, I'll go talk to him.

89
00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:49,583
Hi, Matthew.

90
00:03:49,667 --> 00:03:51,543
Why are you smiling like a clown?

91
00:03:51,627 --> 00:03:53,587
Are they putting Miles Teller to sleep?

92
00:03:53,671 --> 00:03:56,257
I just-- I know you're having
a tough time at home,

93
00:03:56,340 --> 00:04:00,010
and I wanted you to know
how grateful I am to have you in my life.

94
00:04:00,094 --> 00:04:01,845
And also that you're mean as fuck,
but not to me,

95
00:04:01,929 --> 00:04:03,389
and I really appreciate that.

96
00:04:03,472 --> 00:04:04,974
Jessi, thank you.

97
00:04:05,057 --> 00:04:08,352
But next time, please communicate
your appreciation through text

98
00:04:08,435 --> 00:04:10,312
and not in person like a lunatic.

99
00:04:10,396 --> 00:04:14,566
You did it!
Rub-a-dub-dub in the gratitude tub.

100
00:04:14,692 --> 00:04:18,779
Ooh, yeah!
Let's have ourselves a bubble bath!

101
00:04:18,862 --> 00:04:20,072
I'm having a blast!

102
00:04:20,155 --> 00:04:23,492
Being grateful
does feel surprisingly good.

103
00:04:23,575 --> 00:04:26,370
Jessi, why don't you use
the Gratitoad on Nick?

104
00:04:26,453 --> 00:04:28,580
Ugh. Why would I be grateful for Nick?

105
00:04:28,664 --> 00:04:32,126
Yeah, he yelled at you in the park
and then tried to french you at a funeral!

106
00:04:32,209 --> 00:04:36,005
That selfish little prick can rot in hell
with my parents.

107
00:04:36,088 --> 00:04:37,423
Yeah, fuck him.

108
00:04:37,506 --> 00:04:39,091
And my parents!

109
00:04:39,174 --> 00:04:44,221
[sighs] You know, Maury, I died a million 
times last night, and I still feel okay.

110
00:04:44,305 --> 00:04:46,932
I think the breathing thing
is really helping.

111
00:04:47,016 --> 00:04:49,268
Ah, yes, breath is life.

112
00:04:49,351 --> 00:04:52,271
All right, let's continue
with downward-facing dick.

113
00:04:53,314 --> 00:04:55,399
In through the nose... [exhales]

114
00:04:55,482 --> 00:04:56,900
…out through the pee hole.

115
00:04:56,984 --> 00:04:58,193
[sighs]

116
00:04:58,277 --> 00:05:01,322
Nick. Oh, chic jacket, mon frère!

117
00:05:01,447 --> 00:05:03,782
Is that a linen blend? Oh, it's to die.

118
00:05:03,866 --> 00:05:05,743
Andrew, my childhood friend.

119
00:05:05,826 --> 00:05:07,286
How is the masturbating?

120
00:05:07,369 --> 00:05:09,663
Very well. It's going very well,
thank you.

121
00:05:09,747 --> 00:05:10,956
Duke, there he is!

122
00:05:11,040 --> 00:05:14,251
Come on! We gotta get you
back inside your body.

123
00:05:14,335 --> 00:05:18,047
Your tiny, weird, pale body. [cackles]

124
00:05:18,130 --> 00:05:21,300
I mean, the world does seem
brighter today, doesn't it?

125
00:05:21,383 --> 00:05:23,427
That's probably because
there's no ozone layer

126
00:05:23,510 --> 00:05:26,638
and the sun is caramelizing us
like a brûléed grapefruit,

127
00:05:26,722 --> 00:05:29,350
-a treat that every child enjoys.
-Uh, what's that now?

128
00:05:29,433 --> 00:05:32,061
The Earth is hurtling towards
its ultimate destruction.

129
00:05:32,144 --> 00:05:34,646
-What?
-Hashtag brûlée boys. Dab.

130
00:05:34,730 --> 00:05:38,692
[groans] Ultimate destruction?
Me, brûléed?

131
00:05:38,776 --> 00:05:40,944
I suddenly can't breathe again.

132
00:05:41,028 --> 00:05:42,154
-[panting]
-Oh, Andrew.

133
00:05:42,237 --> 00:05:44,156
Hi, Nick. I'm starting an affinity group

134
00:05:44,239 --> 00:05:47,368
to bring students of all races
and backgrounds together.

135
00:05:47,451 --> 00:05:48,702
Would you like to participate?

136
00:05:48,786 --> 00:05:51,997
By sitting in a room with you
and apologizing for my immense privilege?

137
00:05:52,081 --> 00:05:54,458
Oh, well, I mean, yes,
that could be a part of it,

138
00:05:54,541 --> 00:05:57,586
but I'd say it's really about seeing
other people's points of view, and--

139
00:05:57,669 --> 00:06:00,047
-[laughs] Great. No, I will not attend.
-Oh.

140
00:06:00,130 --> 00:06:02,674
This guy's making me look like
such an asshole.

141
00:06:02,758 --> 00:06:06,303
That's why we gotta get you back 
in your funky little body.

142
00:06:06,387 --> 00:06:08,180
-Okay.
-♪ With your big fat head ♪

143
00:06:08,263 --> 00:06:10,140
♪ And your teeny little weenie ♪

144
00:06:10,224 --> 00:06:13,018
♪ It's a damn shame
You can't fuck with your head ♪

145
00:06:13,102 --> 00:06:14,186
[cackles]

146
00:06:15,270 --> 00:06:17,147
Ugh, I can't go in there, Maury.

147
00:06:17,231 --> 00:06:18,482
I feel like I'm gonna throw up.

148
00:06:18,565 --> 00:06:21,485
Come on, it's just a casual conversation.

149
00:06:21,568 --> 00:06:24,154
Yeah, with someone who thinks I deserve 
to burn in hell.

150
00:06:24,238 --> 00:06:26,532
I think she actually said "bake" in hell.

151
00:06:26,615 --> 00:06:29,159
But don't worry,
I hear it's more of a light sear.

152
00:06:29,243 --> 00:06:30,661
-What?
-Now get in there!

153
00:06:30,744 --> 00:06:32,955
Hey, Mom, can we talk for a second?

154
00:06:33,038 --> 00:06:35,374
I'm busy making dinner, Matthew.
Can't it wait?

155
00:06:35,457 --> 00:06:37,126
Actually, no.

156
00:06:37,209 --> 00:06:41,880
Mom, I know you think being gay
is a choice for me, but it's not.

157
00:06:41,964 --> 00:06:43,132
You're doing great, Matt.

158
00:06:43,215 --> 00:06:48,762
And I love you, but I need to be who I am,
not just at school, but also here at home.

159
00:06:48,846 --> 00:06:50,264
What? What does that mean?

160
00:06:50,347 --> 00:06:54,184
Well, for starters,
it means I have to tell Dad.

161
00:06:54,268 --> 00:06:55,519
No, Matthew, no!

162
00:06:55,602 --> 00:06:56,603
You can't do that!

163
00:06:56,687 --> 00:06:59,106
He is a traditional man.

164
00:06:59,189 --> 00:07:01,984
Do you remember when Aunt Lydia
deep-fried the Thanksgiving turkey?

165
00:07:02,067 --> 00:07:02,901
Yeah.

166
00:07:02,985 --> 00:07:04,945
That's why we don't see
Aunt Lydia anymore.

167
00:07:05,028 --> 00:07:06,780
What? I thought she died of a brain tumor.

168
00:07:06,864 --> 00:07:09,074
Matthew, if you love this family,

169
00:07:09,158 --> 00:07:12,411
please don't say anything to your father.

170
00:07:12,536 --> 00:07:15,330
[sighs] Oh, Maury. What do I do?

171
00:07:15,414 --> 00:07:16,582
Matthew, step out of the room.

172
00:07:16,665 --> 00:07:18,292
I'm gonna have a word alone
with your mother.

173
00:07:18,375 --> 00:07:20,794
-Are you fucking kidding me, Kim?
-[crashing]

174
00:07:20,878 --> 00:07:23,422
You got the best goddamn kid in the game!

175
00:07:23,505 --> 00:07:27,259
So, get the fuck on board
before you lose him!

176
00:07:28,635 --> 00:07:30,929
-Oh, how'd it go?
-Oh, she didn't hear a word I said.

177
00:07:32,222 --> 00:07:33,807
Oh, yeah!

178
00:07:33,891 --> 00:07:36,602
All right. So, to enter a body,

179
00:07:36,685 --> 00:07:40,439
-you've got to truly let go of yourself.
-Right.

180
00:07:40,522 --> 00:07:45,027
Really try to understand what it's like
to be them for a moment.

181
00:07:45,110 --> 00:07:46,361
-Got it.
-And then,

182
00:07:46,445 --> 00:07:48,697
-you slip right in through their butthole!
-Wait, what?

183
00:07:48,780 --> 00:07:50,073
The poop chute, Nick!

184
00:07:50,157 --> 00:07:54,328
♪ If you wanna be spooky
You gotta go dookie ♪

185
00:07:54,411 --> 00:07:56,079
-Now, get in there!
-Okay!

186
00:07:57,915 --> 00:07:59,750
Ooh, outrageous!

187
00:08:00,542 --> 00:08:03,420
Wait, wait, wait.
Is this Nick Starr's apartment?

188
00:08:03,504 --> 00:08:06,089
Oh, Nick, to what do I owe the pleasure?

189
00:08:06,173 --> 00:08:09,176
Uh, I'm here to take my body back.

190
00:08:09,259 --> 00:08:10,636
Of course, great.

191
00:08:10,719 --> 00:08:12,221
Well, let me show you around, then.

192
00:08:12,304 --> 00:08:13,889
This is my Infinity fridge.

193
00:08:13,972 --> 00:08:16,016
It's filled with carbonated egg whites.

194
00:08:16,099 --> 00:08:18,101
These are all of Lauryn Hill's Grammys.

195
00:08:18,185 --> 00:08:21,271
And this is the room
where I keep all the bugs.

196
00:08:21,355 --> 00:08:22,314
The bugs?

197
00:08:23,315 --> 00:08:24,483
Oh, Jesus!

198
00:08:24,566 --> 00:08:26,568
Oh, that's sweet. They like you.

199
00:08:26,652 --> 00:08:29,029
-Ugh! Get them off! Help me!
-[glass cracking]

200
00:08:29,112 --> 00:08:30,280
You got it, buddy.

201
00:08:31,865 --> 00:08:34,409
[screams]

202
00:08:35,285 --> 00:08:36,912
-[grunts]
-[laughs]

203
00:08:36,995 --> 00:08:39,623
That's right.
You don't want any part of what's in here.

204
00:08:39,706 --> 00:08:41,250
For I'm loco, ese.

205
00:08:41,333 --> 00:08:43,210
Sponsored by Four Loko, ese.

206
00:08:43,293 --> 00:08:44,419
Give me my body back!

207
00:08:44,503 --> 00:08:46,588
But, Nick, this is who you are,

208
00:08:46,672 --> 00:08:50,926
an emotionally unavailable success junkie
with a two handicap.

209
00:08:51,009 --> 00:08:51,969
Duke, is he right?

210
00:08:52,052 --> 00:08:54,179
Am I destined to be cold and alone?

211
00:08:54,263 --> 00:08:56,348
No. There's still time to change.

212
00:08:56,431 --> 00:08:59,601
You gotta try it again.
Get back in that body!

213
00:08:59,685 --> 00:09:01,311
-[cackles]
-No, you weren't in there!

214
00:09:01,395 --> 00:09:05,649
It was like American Psycho, but without
the charming references to Phil Collins.

215
00:09:05,732 --> 00:09:06,775
What can I do?

216
00:09:06,858 --> 00:09:09,903
Yeah, what can you
"are you gonna do," baby?

217
00:09:09,987 --> 00:09:11,905
Jesus, Rick! I didn't even say it!

218
00:09:11,989 --> 00:09:13,949
Enough with your stupid catchphrase!

219
00:09:14,032 --> 00:09:15,576
"What are you gonna do?"

220
00:09:15,659 --> 00:09:18,912
I don't sound like that. 
I sound cool, like Bill Clinton.

221
00:09:18,996 --> 00:09:23,166
Watch this. "I did not have
'what are you gonna do' with that woman."

222
00:09:23,250 --> 00:09:26,295
You withered piece of shit!
You wanna know what I'm gonna do?

223
00:09:26,378 --> 00:09:29,214
I'm gonna give up.
I'm gonna be a lost soul forever.

224
00:09:29,298 --> 00:09:32,050
Well, then my job here is done.

225
00:09:32,134 --> 00:09:33,051
No, it's not!

226
00:09:33,135 --> 00:09:36,638
Then why am I drinking a piña colada,
homie?

227
00:09:36,722 --> 00:09:38,890
[slurps]

228
00:09:38,974 --> 00:09:41,143
I was totally gonna say it back.

229
00:09:41,226 --> 00:09:44,646
I mean, literally everything inside me
wanted to scream,

230
00:09:44,730 --> 00:09:46,982
"Jay, you're my burly-ass king,

231
00:09:47,065 --> 00:09:50,068
and I love you so hard,
it could make me shit,"

232
00:09:50,152 --> 00:09:53,113
but I just couldn't say "I love you."

233
00:09:53,196 --> 00:09:54,656
Oh, gloomy day!

234
00:09:54,740 --> 00:09:57,159
'Tis too painful to see thee weep,
Your Majesty.

235
00:09:57,242 --> 00:10:00,996
Help me, Knights of St. Joseph.
What the hell do I do?

236
00:10:01,079 --> 00:10:05,292
Pray, my queen, why was it so hard
to tell Sir Jay that you love him?

237
00:10:05,375 --> 00:10:08,545
I guess it's because everyone I love
always ends up...

238
00:10:09,296 --> 00:10:10,213
leaving me.

239
00:10:10,297 --> 00:10:12,799
But Sir Jay, he's not like the others.

240
00:10:12,883 --> 00:10:14,926
He hath been kind to thee.

241
00:10:15,010 --> 00:10:18,513
Indeed! 'Tis rare to find a knight
who fights for both your honor

242
00:10:18,597 --> 00:10:20,057
and your pleasure.

243
00:10:20,140 --> 00:10:22,059
Also, I, like, came when he fingered me.

244
00:10:22,142 --> 00:10:24,478
Yes. That's what I was alluding to,
Your Majesty.

245
00:10:24,561 --> 00:10:28,523
But, like, what if I put my heart out
on the so-called symbolic limb

246
00:10:28,607 --> 00:10:29,816
and he ditches me?

247
00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:35,030
But, my queen, if you shut thyself off,
you've already sealed thy fate.

248
00:10:35,113 --> 00:10:38,241
You must lower your drawbridge,
emotionally.

249
00:10:38,325 --> 00:10:40,661
Okay. Thank you, Knights of St. Joseph.

250
00:10:40,744 --> 00:10:42,245
You may return to your rounds.

251
00:10:42,329 --> 00:10:45,082
We shall protect thee from all enemies!

252
00:10:45,165 --> 00:10:47,876
Behold! A ghastly creature encroaches.
[grunts]

253
00:10:48,502 --> 00:10:50,837
Is it fucked up that this turns me on?

254
00:10:52,673 --> 00:10:54,174
[panting]

255
00:10:54,257 --> 00:10:57,427
Oh, God, Nick's right!
The planet is boiling.

256
00:10:57,511 --> 00:11:01,723
And if the wildfires don't get us,
the war over water surely will!

257
00:11:01,807 --> 00:11:04,142
Oh, man, Nick Starr really spun him out
this morning.

258
00:11:04,226 --> 00:11:08,105
And those thin polar bears
aren't gonna be very happy about anything!

259
00:11:08,188 --> 00:11:10,982
Andrew, stop quivering!
I can hear you downstairs!

260
00:11:11,066 --> 00:11:13,694
[panting]
Dad, I'm just feeling very anxious.

261
00:11:13,777 --> 00:11:15,112
Well, of course you are!

262
00:11:15,195 --> 00:11:17,531
You're a weak boy,
and everybody's against you.

263
00:11:17,614 --> 00:11:18,532
Oh, no.

264
00:11:18,615 --> 00:11:21,576
Andrew, I wish I could help you
feel better. [gasps]

265
00:11:21,702 --> 00:11:23,036
Wait, maybe I can.

266
00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:24,788
The world is a gorilla cage,

267
00:11:24,871 --> 00:11:27,582
and you're a banana
with peanut butter on its ass!

268
00:11:27,666 --> 00:11:30,043
Ooh! Outrageous!

269
00:11:33,922 --> 00:11:38,635
[Nick] Whoa, this is crazy.
I'm actually controlling Marty's body.

270
00:11:38,719 --> 00:11:40,387
Dad, are you okay?

271
00:11:40,470 --> 00:11:42,889
You sound exactly like Nick.

272
00:11:42,973 --> 00:11:44,433
That's because I am Nick.

273
00:11:44,516 --> 00:11:46,351
Nick, are you in there?

274
00:11:46,435 --> 00:11:47,894
What the hell's going on?

275
00:11:47,978 --> 00:11:50,272
My evil future self
has taken over my body.

276
00:11:50,355 --> 00:11:51,940
Oh, God! That can happen?

277
00:11:52,023 --> 00:11:54,484
So, I possessed your dad
through his butthole, and I--

278
00:11:54,568 --> 00:11:58,280
-What the hell are you talking about?
-Oh, God, I was trying to calm you down,

279
00:11:58,363 --> 00:12:00,615
and now I realize
I'm freaking you out more!

280
00:12:00,699 --> 00:12:02,200
-Yeah, a bit!
-Oh, I'm sorry.

281
00:12:02,284 --> 00:12:04,703
I'm the worst,
and I'm gonna be like this forever!

282
00:12:04,786 --> 00:12:06,121
Shut the fuck up!

283
00:12:06,204 --> 00:12:08,039
You're making me more nervous.

284
00:12:08,123 --> 00:12:09,624
-Just let me breathe.
-What do you mean?

285
00:12:09,708 --> 00:12:10,667
Fucking listen!

286
00:12:10,751 --> 00:12:12,169
-Inhale for four. 
-[both inhale]

287
00:12:12,252 --> 00:12:14,963
-In for four.
-[both exhale]

288
00:12:15,046 --> 00:12:16,381
There, that's better.

289
00:12:16,465 --> 00:12:17,966
Okay, I'm still a little wobbly,

290
00:12:18,049 --> 00:12:21,261
but it might just be the sheer weight
of your dad's balls.

291
00:12:21,344 --> 00:12:23,555
It feels like I have two paint cans
hanging from my taint.

292
00:12:23,638 --> 00:12:24,598
Hey, wait...

293
00:12:24,681 --> 00:12:26,641
Nick, while you're in there,

294
00:12:26,725 --> 00:12:29,478
would you tell me that you're proud of me?

295
00:12:29,561 --> 00:12:31,062
-Oh, this is kinda sad.
-Come on, I--

296
00:12:31,146 --> 00:12:34,441
Uh, sure, Andrew, I'm proud of you.

297
00:12:34,524 --> 00:12:35,942
No, damn it, say it like my dad.

298
00:12:36,026 --> 00:12:37,444
Oh, okay, uh...

299
00:12:37,527 --> 00:12:41,031
Andrew, you useless sack of nothing.
I'm proud of you!

300
00:12:41,114 --> 00:12:44,409
Oh, thanks, Dad. I'm gonna hit you again.

301
00:12:44,493 --> 00:12:45,869
-[grunts]
-Nick!

302
00:12:45,952 --> 00:12:47,329
You... You can see me?

303
00:12:47,412 --> 00:12:49,748
Andrew, did you just slap me in the face?

304
00:12:49,831 --> 00:12:51,958
I did, twice, and I'm sorry.

305
00:12:52,042 --> 00:12:53,919
Don't you dare apologize!

306
00:12:54,002 --> 00:12:56,838
For the first time ever,
I'm proud of ya, son!

307
00:12:56,922 --> 00:12:59,382
Oh, maybe one day I'll kill you.
[chuckles]

308
00:12:59,966 --> 00:13:04,971
Okay, Steve. I'll pay you $2
to eat your own underpants.

309
00:13:05,055 --> 00:13:07,224
-[students laughing]
-This is beyond epic.

310
00:13:07,307 --> 00:13:10,977
I should pay you for this. I'm starving!
[chewing]

311
00:13:11,061 --> 00:13:12,479
What's Nick's deal lately?

312
00:13:12,562 --> 00:13:15,273
He's been a really rude dude
with a bad attitude.

313
00:13:15,357 --> 00:13:16,483
Yeah, he's an asshole.

314
00:13:16,566 --> 00:13:17,901
No, that's not me!

315
00:13:17,984 --> 00:13:20,529
-Shh, shh. Ladies, women, shush.
-What, Andrew?

316
00:13:20,612 --> 00:13:24,074
You're not gonna believe me at first,
but that's not the real Nick.

317
00:13:24,157 --> 00:13:25,617
-What?
-What are you talking about?

318
00:13:25,700 --> 00:13:27,244
He wants us to think he is,

319
00:13:27,327 --> 00:13:29,454
but that's evil future Nick.

320
00:13:29,538 --> 00:13:31,915
The real Nick is floating right next 
to us, okay?

321
00:13:31,998 --> 00:13:32,999
Shut up!

322
00:13:33,083 --> 00:13:37,504
There's only one Nick,
and he has always been a selfish jerk!

323
00:13:37,587 --> 00:13:40,090
"Always"? Boy, she really hates me.

324
00:13:40,173 --> 00:13:42,467
Well, I don't believe
that there's only one Nick.

325
00:13:42,551 --> 00:13:44,553
If I learned anything
at the horrority house,

326
00:13:44,636 --> 00:13:46,638
it's that we're made up
of many different parts,

327
00:13:46,721 --> 00:13:49,099
-and we must embrace them all.
-Thank you, Missy.

328
00:13:49,182 --> 00:13:50,225
Yeah, no problem, Nick.

329
00:13:50,308 --> 00:13:52,936
Ah, Nick! Jinkies, he is a ghost!

330
00:13:53,019 --> 00:13:53,854
You can see him too?

331
00:13:53,937 --> 00:13:56,982
Oh, my undies are wrapped around my heart.

332
00:13:57,065 --> 00:13:59,526
Nick, you gotta get back inside
of your body.

333
00:13:59,609 --> 00:14:01,653
It's impossible. I already tried.

334
00:14:01,736 --> 00:14:03,071
But you didn't have us.

335
00:14:03,154 --> 00:14:04,322
Yeah, us!

336
00:14:04,406 --> 00:14:06,408
Missy and Andrew, back together.

337
00:14:06,491 --> 00:14:08,869
In love until we die in each other's arms.

338
00:14:08,952 --> 00:14:10,954
-What?
-What? Nothing. Let's go help Nick.

339
00:14:11,037 --> 00:14:13,498
Ugh, why is Andrew defending Nick?

340
00:14:13,582 --> 00:14:16,042
Because you have bad friends
and you can't count on anyone?

341
00:14:16,126 --> 00:14:20,380
Let's just go home and send
Michael Angelo that very long text

342
00:14:20,463 --> 00:14:22,090
you've been drafting in your notes.

343
00:14:22,173 --> 00:14:24,134
Then we can count the seconds
until he replies.

344
00:14:24,217 --> 00:14:26,219
Oh, God, why hasn't he replied yet?

345
00:14:26,303 --> 00:14:27,137
Hold up!

346
00:14:27,762 --> 00:14:30,891
Let's stay focused on what's important,
all right?

347
00:14:30,974 --> 00:14:32,726
-Now, Nick is a prick!
-Yeah.

348
00:14:32,809 --> 00:14:36,146
And he seems sad and lost,
like something's going on with him.

349
00:14:36,229 --> 00:14:38,732
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Why are you taking his side?

350
00:14:38,815 --> 00:14:41,359
Hey, now,
let's take a quick hop back here.

351
00:14:41,443 --> 00:14:44,237
Isn't there anything about Nick
that you are grateful for?

352
00:14:44,321 --> 00:14:45,155
Uh, no.

353
00:14:45,238 --> 00:14:46,156
Well, come on.

354
00:14:46,239 --> 00:14:48,617
He did come to help you
in the depression ward.

355
00:14:48,700 --> 00:14:51,161
It sounds like the little fellow was there
when you needed him.

356
00:14:51,244 --> 00:14:52,370
Not lately.

357
00:14:52,454 --> 00:14:55,206
Yeah, ever since I've met him,
he's been, like, really anxious,

358
00:14:55,290 --> 00:14:57,626
and frankly, it freaks me out!

359
00:14:57,709 --> 00:15:01,254
Hold on, all this time,
you've been bothering Nick too?

360
00:15:01,338 --> 00:15:04,299
Not "bothering." Protecting, helping--
[screams]

361
00:15:04,382 --> 00:15:07,469
Maybe you and Nick, y'all got more 
in common than you thought, huh?

362
00:15:07,552 --> 00:15:08,803
Yeah, I...

363
00:15:09,054 --> 00:15:09,888
No.

364
00:15:09,971 --> 00:15:11,348
Hey, who smashed my car?

365
00:15:11,431 --> 00:15:13,224
Oh, yeah, the Masked Principal!

366
00:15:13,308 --> 00:15:15,435
Ooh, is this when we get to find out
who you are?

367
00:15:15,518 --> 00:15:16,603
No.

368
00:15:16,686 --> 00:15:18,521
Oh, hang on. Are you Katherine Heigl?

369
00:15:18,605 --> 00:15:20,523
Tune in next season to find out.

370
00:15:20,607 --> 00:15:23,193
Here's a hint: I'm Roman Polanski.

371
00:15:23,276 --> 00:15:24,527
[doorbell rings]

372
00:15:24,611 --> 00:15:25,612
-Oh, Andrew.
-Hey, Nick.

373
00:15:25,695 --> 00:15:27,530
A surprise drop-by, how unwelcome.

374
00:15:27,614 --> 00:15:30,700
-Yep, I'm here to hang with my best bud.
-Terrific.

375
00:15:30,784 --> 00:15:35,288
The only thing I like less than surprises
is hanging with my best bud.

376
00:15:35,372 --> 00:15:37,958
Wait, Nick. You see, I know your secret.

377
00:15:38,041 --> 00:15:39,751
[chuckles] What secret?

378
00:15:39,834 --> 00:15:42,796
-That you're about to get a headache.
-Quinaz!

379
00:15:42,879 --> 00:15:43,713
[Nick grunts]

380
00:15:45,507 --> 00:15:49,511
And now DJ has her own kids,
and the house is even fuller! Have mercy.

381
00:15:50,178 --> 00:15:51,554
Sounds cool, Dad.

382
00:15:51,638 --> 00:15:54,891
Come on, tell him.
Tell him how gay you are.

383
00:15:54,975 --> 00:15:57,686
Hey, can I talk to you about something?

384
00:15:57,769 --> 00:16:01,272
[chuckles] Oh, that's usually your mom's 
department, isn't it?

385
00:16:01,356 --> 00:16:04,401
Well, yeah, but I'd like to talk to you.

386
00:16:04,484 --> 00:16:06,611
All right. Permission granted, sailor.

387
00:16:06,695 --> 00:16:11,616
Okay, so, um, I wasn't really
at an Interfaith Council meeting.

388
00:16:11,700 --> 00:16:12,534
You weren't?

389
00:16:12,617 --> 00:16:15,829
I was at my friend Aiden's house.

390
00:16:16,454 --> 00:16:18,665
My... boyfriend.

391
00:16:18,873 --> 00:16:19,916
Mm-hmm.

392
00:16:20,166 --> 00:16:22,544
Because... I'm gay.

393
00:16:23,169 --> 00:16:26,506
And that might mean you're gonna send me
to a conversion camp

394
00:16:26,589 --> 00:16:28,550
or pretend that I died of a brain tumor

395
00:16:28,633 --> 00:16:30,218
or make me watch Wedding Crashers.

396
00:16:30,301 --> 00:16:33,304
-[sobbing]
-Whoa! Hold your horses, son.

397
00:16:33,388 --> 00:16:35,640
-I already knew you were gay.
-You did?

398
00:16:35,724 --> 00:16:37,892
I know who you are, Matthew.

399
00:16:37,976 --> 00:16:39,853
I drove you to tap classes.

400
00:16:39,936 --> 00:16:41,938
Oh, but Mom said not to tell you.

401
00:16:42,022 --> 00:16:43,857
Well, she worries about you,

402
00:16:43,940 --> 00:16:48,111
and she might need more time
to wrap her head around this.

403
00:16:48,194 --> 00:16:49,195
I don't know, I--

404
00:16:49,279 --> 00:16:52,073
It's okay, son, we'll figure this out.

405
00:16:52,157 --> 00:16:54,868
Just like the Tanners had to figure out
the bedroom assignments

406
00:16:54,951 --> 00:16:56,745
[laughs] when Kimmy Gibbler moved in.

407
00:16:56,828 --> 00:16:58,955
I think your dad might be done
with this conversation.

408
00:16:59,039 --> 00:17:00,457
I love that reboot.

409
00:17:01,624 --> 00:17:03,043
-[rope strains]
-[Missy grunts]

410
00:17:03,626 --> 00:17:06,504
Whoa, butt-fuck party!
I should have knocked.

411
00:17:06,588 --> 00:17:09,758
In the future, you should hang a scrunchie
on the doorknob.

412
00:17:09,841 --> 00:17:12,761
Also, the butt-fuckee needs to be awake.

413
00:17:12,844 --> 00:17:15,555
No, it's for easy access, Duke.
I'm going back in.

414
00:17:15,638 --> 00:17:19,976
Jesus H. Jazz, you're Duke Ellington!
I'm a big fan.

415
00:17:20,060 --> 00:17:24,147
You know, Duke once entered my body
and punched me in the penis.

416
00:17:24,230 --> 00:17:25,482
Not really a brag, but--

417
00:17:25,565 --> 00:17:27,484
-What?
-Hey, is Nick Starr waking up?

418
00:17:27,567 --> 00:17:29,652
What the... Oh, you again.

419
00:17:29,736 --> 00:17:30,612
Give up, Nick.

420
00:17:30,695 --> 00:17:32,280
You've seen your future,

421
00:17:32,363 --> 00:17:34,908
-and it's me, Nick Starr.
-Maybe he's right.

422
00:17:34,991 --> 00:17:36,284
Don't listen to him, Nick.

423
00:17:36,367 --> 00:17:39,245
Fly into your own butthole
in front of all your friends.

424
00:17:39,329 --> 00:17:41,372
Hello. Oh, I am sorry!

425
00:17:41,456 --> 00:17:42,624
Oh, shit!

426
00:17:42,707 --> 00:17:45,794
They doing a butt-fuck party?
I didn't see a scrunchie on the door.

427
00:17:45,877 --> 00:17:48,463
Jessi, it's cool. That is future Nick,

428
00:17:48,546 --> 00:17:51,633
and his ass is out 'cause we need to get
real Nick and jam him back up there.

429
00:17:51,716 --> 00:17:53,468
Jessi, my female friend.

430
00:17:53,551 --> 00:17:54,844
I'm the real Nick.

431
00:17:54,928 --> 00:17:57,639
Hearing the radio
makes me absolutely boogie!

432
00:17:57,722 --> 00:18:02,143
Okay. I don't know what's going on here,
but I came to give Nick something.

433
00:18:02,227 --> 00:18:04,813
Should I leave it on your butt or--

434
00:18:04,896 --> 00:18:06,815
[gasps] Whoa.

435
00:18:06,898 --> 00:18:08,566
Nick? [gasps]

436
00:18:08,650 --> 00:18:09,484
You're a ghost.

437
00:18:09,567 --> 00:18:12,153
Technically, a lost soul. But, yeah.

438
00:18:12,237 --> 00:18:14,155
Ooh, how about an introduction,
little red?

439
00:18:14,239 --> 00:18:16,407
-Nick, this is the Gratitoad.
-Oh.

440
00:18:16,491 --> 00:18:19,744
He's got this, like, goofy Southern
drunk-on-moonshine vibe,

441
00:18:19,828 --> 00:18:22,831
but most importantly,
he's really helped me with my anxiety.

442
00:18:22,914 --> 00:18:24,207
Pleasure to meet you, Nick!

443
00:18:24,290 --> 00:18:25,250
Really liking your wisp.

444
00:18:25,333 --> 00:18:28,503
Oh, okay.
Well, nice to meet you, Mr. Toad.

445
00:18:28,586 --> 00:18:31,506
Oh, please, Mr. Toad was my daddy.

446
00:18:31,589 --> 00:18:33,842
He was known for taking wild rides.

447
00:18:33,925 --> 00:18:36,261
I was thinking
maybe he could help you too.

448
00:18:36,344 --> 00:18:37,387
Thank you, Jessi.

449
00:18:37,470 --> 00:18:41,266
Look, I know I've been a dick to you,
and I'm-- I'm really sorry.

450
00:18:41,349 --> 00:18:44,352
Pretty wonderful to have a friend
who knows how to say "The Big S."

451
00:18:44,435 --> 00:18:45,270
I'll tell you that.

452
00:18:45,353 --> 00:18:47,105
Wow, you're right, Gratitoad.

453
00:18:47,188 --> 00:18:50,400
Nick, I'm grateful for your apology.
It means a lot.

454
00:18:50,483 --> 00:18:54,279
Ugh! All this sincerity is making me want 
to crap my pants.

455
00:18:54,362 --> 00:18:57,198
In fact, good luck getting in my butt!

456
00:18:57,282 --> 00:18:58,283
Hurry up, Nick!

457
00:18:58,366 --> 00:19:00,201
You don't wanna have to fly through shit!

458
00:19:00,285 --> 00:19:01,202
Okay.

459
00:19:01,286 --> 00:19:02,871
Go, go, go!

460
00:19:02,954 --> 00:19:04,330
[Nick whimpers]

461
00:19:05,623 --> 00:19:08,501
Ooh! Outrageous!

462
00:19:09,794 --> 00:19:12,213
[grunts] Oh, God! What the fuck was that?

463
00:19:12,297 --> 00:19:15,258
[exclaims, panting] I can't do this, I...

464
00:19:15,341 --> 00:19:18,052
[gasping] I gotta calm down.

465
00:19:18,136 --> 00:19:21,181
Okay, just remember, in for four...
[inhales]

466
00:19:21,264 --> 00:19:23,558
Why are you fighting this, Nick?

467
00:19:23,641 --> 00:19:25,643
I'm everything you wanna be.

468
00:19:25,727 --> 00:19:31,149
I'm infinitely rich, medium famous,
and I don't answer to anyone but myself.

469
00:19:31,232 --> 00:19:33,276
Well, except for French's Mustard,

470
00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:36,070
with whom I have
a lucrative endorsement deal.

471
00:19:36,154 --> 00:19:38,406
French's Mustard, taste the yellow!

472
00:19:38,489 --> 00:19:40,867
Uch, yuck! I hate yellow mustard.

473
00:19:40,950 --> 00:19:42,160
You'll learn to accept it.

474
00:19:42,243 --> 00:19:44,287
Never! [panting]

475
00:19:44,746 --> 00:19:46,247
-[screeches]
-Tito?

476
00:19:46,331 --> 00:19:49,000
You can't beat us, Nick!

477
00:19:49,083 --> 00:19:52,086
You'll have to squirt yellow mustard
on everything!

478
00:19:52,170 --> 00:19:53,463
-Ice cream!
-Cereal!

479
00:19:53,546 --> 00:19:54,797
The dogs you'll fuck!

480
00:19:54,881 --> 00:19:58,259
Your destiny is unavoidable!

481
00:19:58,343 --> 00:20:00,386
Is it? Is it?

482
00:20:00,470 --> 00:20:02,222
No, it isn't.

483
00:20:02,305 --> 00:20:05,725
I like spicy brown mustard
and honey mustard.

484
00:20:05,808 --> 00:20:09,771
I like the salad dressing my mom makes 
with Dijon mustard!

485
00:20:09,854 --> 00:20:11,522
I like my mom!

486
00:20:11,606 --> 00:20:15,151
I like my whole family,
and my friends, even Jay.

487
00:20:15,235 --> 00:20:17,528
I'm grateful for all of it!

488
00:20:17,612 --> 00:20:20,865
So you can take your destiny
and go fuck yourself!

489
00:20:20,949 --> 00:20:23,785
Whoo-hoo!
Grateful for that monologue right there.

490
00:20:23,868 --> 00:20:26,371
And I definitely want that recipe
for that salad dressing.

491
00:20:26,454 --> 00:20:30,124
Shut up! Your positivity makes me sick!

492
00:20:30,208 --> 00:20:32,627
[Gratitoad screams] Ow!

493
00:20:33,753 --> 00:20:35,546
-[Gratitoad grunts]
-[cackles]

494
00:20:35,630 --> 00:20:39,300
I'm gonna kill you
once and for all, Nick Birch!

495
00:20:39,384 --> 00:20:43,554
Not if I kill you first, Nick Starr.
[screams]

496
00:20:44,764 --> 00:20:48,059
-So what did you wanna talk about?
-Okay, this is really hard for me,

497
00:20:48,142 --> 00:20:53,940
but I didn't say "I love you" back
because, as history has proven,

498
00:20:54,023 --> 00:20:58,403
it is such that I have been hurt
by putting myself out there. But...

499
00:20:59,028 --> 00:21:00,905
Jay, I do love you.

500
00:21:01,030 --> 00:21:03,283
[scoffs] Bull-fuckin'-shit!

501
00:21:03,366 --> 00:21:05,827
If you really felt it,
you would've said it!

502
00:21:05,910 --> 00:21:06,995
Yeah, cutie pie.

503
00:21:07,078 --> 00:21:09,122
You're a day late and a dicking short.

504
00:21:09,205 --> 00:21:11,082
And what a dicking it was!

505
00:21:11,165 --> 00:21:12,917
Jay, what the hell?

506
00:21:13,001 --> 00:21:15,670
Did you fucking cheat on me
with your exes?

507
00:21:15,753 --> 00:21:18,298
Sorry, babe. You snooze, I cruise.

508
00:21:18,381 --> 00:21:22,635
Oh, yeah,
he cruised right into my sloppy ass.

509
00:21:22,719 --> 00:21:25,013
Let's just say it was a butt-fuck party!

510
00:21:25,096 --> 00:21:26,931
Oh, it sure was.

511
00:21:27,015 --> 00:21:29,642
Isn't that right, King Finger?

512
00:21:29,726 --> 00:21:31,894
What? I gave him that name!

513
00:21:31,978 --> 00:21:33,604
I knighted him King Finger!

514
00:21:33,688 --> 00:21:35,857
Whatever! It's my finger!

515
00:21:35,940 --> 00:21:38,359
Why did I even come here, Jay?

516
00:21:38,443 --> 00:21:40,903
I knew you'd leave me!

517
00:21:40,987 --> 00:21:43,448
What? Me? You started this!

518
00:21:43,531 --> 00:21:47,535
If you can't say "I love you"
the second I say it to you,

519
00:21:47,618 --> 00:21:49,996
then you don't deserve me at all!

520
00:21:50,079 --> 00:21:53,333
You better watch your back, Jay Bilzerian,

521
00:21:53,416 --> 00:21:58,212
'cause this means war!

522
00:21:58,296 --> 00:22:00,465
Bring it on, lady!

523
00:22:00,548 --> 00:22:03,426
You are so fucked next season!

524
00:22:03,509 --> 00:22:07,430
Oh, I will be fucked, by my pillows,

525
00:22:07,513 --> 00:22:10,767
who know how to say
"I love you" right away.

526
00:22:10,850 --> 00:22:12,477
And guess what, bitch?

527
00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:16,064
You ain't the home screen
on his phone anymore!

528
00:22:16,147 --> 00:22:19,192
Oh, yeah!
Pillow titties on the home screen!

529
00:22:19,275 --> 00:22:21,277
[barks]

530
00:22:21,361 --> 00:22:24,739
Cum! I'm going to miss eating their cum.

531
00:22:24,822 --> 00:22:27,408
-[Ghost Nick grunting]
-Oh, my God! Holy fuck!

532
00:22:27,492 --> 00:22:29,535
Jesus! This doesn't look good.

533
00:22:29,619 --> 00:22:31,829
-[Nick grunts]
-[Nick Starr cackles]

534
00:22:32,914 --> 00:22:36,042
-[shrieks]
-Ooh, smooth moves, Tito Mosquito.

535
00:22:36,125 --> 00:22:38,628
Stop appreciating me!

536
00:22:40,630 --> 00:22:41,756
[grunts]

537
00:22:42,924 --> 00:22:44,300
[slurps]

538
00:22:44,384 --> 00:22:45,802
-[Gratitoad] Hey!
-Great throw!

539
00:22:45,885 --> 00:22:48,638
Aww, throw's only as good as the catch,
Nickydoodle.

540
00:22:48,721 --> 00:22:50,181
All right. [grunts]

541
00:22:50,264 --> 00:22:54,060
[shrieks]
Yes, destroy him! Protect yourself!

542
00:22:54,143 --> 00:22:56,771
So, Nick, what are you gonna do?

543
00:22:56,854 --> 00:23:01,401
Yeah, Nick, what are you gonna do, baby?

544
00:23:01,484 --> 00:23:02,693
I'm gonna...

545
00:23:03,444 --> 00:23:05,446
go up my butthole again!

546
00:23:05,530 --> 00:23:08,616
Ooh, outrageous!

547
00:23:10,201 --> 00:23:12,036
[shuddering]

548
00:23:12,120 --> 00:23:13,121
Hi.

549
00:23:13,204 --> 00:23:14,747
Oh, hi.

550
00:23:14,831 --> 00:23:15,915
Do you hate me?

551
00:23:16,624 --> 00:23:17,917
Are you gonna kill me?

552
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,253
Uh, no.

553
00:23:20,336 --> 00:23:21,254
Why not?

554
00:23:21,337 --> 00:23:23,464
I'm such a piece of shit.

555
00:23:23,548 --> 00:23:24,966
But you're a part of me.

556
00:23:25,049 --> 00:23:27,885
And I have to embrace you.

557
00:23:29,887 --> 00:23:31,013
[Identical Nick sighs]

558
00:23:32,890 --> 00:23:34,100
Are you getting a boner?

559
00:23:34,183 --> 00:23:36,436
What? No, why would you say that?

560
00:23:36,519 --> 00:23:37,812
I can't help it.

561
00:23:37,895 --> 00:23:39,814
I make jokes when I'm uncomfortable.

562
00:23:39,897 --> 00:23:40,857
Yeah, me too.

563
00:23:41,399 --> 00:23:42,900
Hashtag me too.

564
00:23:47,113 --> 00:23:49,115
[loud groaning]

565
00:23:51,617 --> 00:23:53,953
[Tito shrieks]

566
00:23:56,372 --> 00:23:59,333
[Andrew] Nick, can you hear me? Nick?

567
00:24:00,084 --> 00:24:03,546
-Nick Birch?
-I-It's me. I think I'm okay.

568
00:24:03,629 --> 00:24:05,339
-Oh, thank God!
-All right!

569
00:24:05,423 --> 00:24:07,425
Uh-pa-pa,
that's exactly what Nick Starr would say.

570
00:24:07,508 --> 00:24:09,719
Andrew, shut the fuck up and untie me.

571
00:24:09,802 --> 00:24:13,598
And that's exactly what the real Nick
would say. Gimme those ropes.

572
00:24:14,182 --> 00:24:16,225
Whew, I'm exhausted.

573
00:24:16,309 --> 00:24:18,644
Hey, you're not so scary
when you're small.

574
00:24:18,728 --> 00:24:21,981
Yeah, a mosquito is actually
pretty manageable.

575
00:24:22,064 --> 00:24:23,941
-And they taste delicious.
-[Tito screams]

576
00:24:24,025 --> 00:24:25,359
Mm-mmm!

577
00:24:25,443 --> 00:24:30,114
When those bugs come back, and they will,
you call your old friend the Gratitoad.

578
00:24:30,198 --> 00:24:33,534
But I'm not going anywhere, Jessi.

579
00:24:33,618 --> 00:24:35,786
Oh, my God. Look at you, you're so cute!

580
00:24:35,870 --> 00:24:36,704
Oh, shit!

581
00:24:36,787 --> 00:24:38,998
-What happened?
-I don't know. [meows]

582
00:24:39,081 --> 00:24:41,167
Whoa! Honey, you shrunk the cat!

583
00:24:41,250 --> 00:24:45,046
Wow, I guess helping Nick
made me feel less depressed.

584
00:24:45,129 --> 00:24:47,006
Ladies, and don't take this weird,

585
00:24:47,089 --> 00:24:49,759
but I'm always grateful
for a little pussy.

586
00:24:49,842 --> 00:24:50,968
Hey, man, peace and love,

587
00:24:51,052 --> 00:24:54,180
but I'm kinda the guy who gets to make
those jokes around here.

588
00:24:54,263 --> 00:24:57,934
-You did it, Nick! Ha-ha!
-Yeah, I guess I did.

589
00:24:58,017 --> 00:25:00,811
-I used Andrew's breathing...
-I saved the day again.

590
00:25:00,895 --> 00:25:02,647
...and Jessi's Gratitoad.

591
00:25:02,730 --> 00:25:05,441
And, Missy,
I embraced all parts of myself.

592
00:25:05,525 --> 00:25:07,485
Oh, that's beautiful!

593
00:25:07,568 --> 00:25:10,279
So, now do you wanna join
my affinity group?

594
00:25:10,363 --> 00:25:11,364
Uh...

595
00:25:11,447 --> 00:25:12,573
email me, okay?

596
00:25:12,657 --> 00:25:15,409
I just wanna say, I'm proud of you,
Nick.

597
00:25:15,493 --> 00:25:16,702
Thank you, Connie.

598
00:25:16,786 --> 00:25:18,371
Ahem. You look good.

599
00:25:18,454 --> 00:25:19,747
Thank you. You too.

600
00:25:20,540 --> 00:25:21,874
Oh, I miss you!

601
00:25:21,958 --> 00:25:25,002
Oh, baby, I miss you so much!

602
00:25:25,086 --> 00:25:27,129
But don't worry, I'm in good hands.

603
00:25:27,213 --> 00:25:29,131
Oh, the best hands!

604
00:25:29,215 --> 00:25:30,800
Hey, that's cool, baby!

605
00:25:30,883 --> 00:25:32,051
-Oh, God! Ew!
-What the eff is that?

606
00:25:32,134 --> 00:25:33,719
-Jessi, Missy…
-[Jessi] Ew!

607
00:25:33,803 --> 00:25:35,930
…this is Rick, my hormone monster.

608
00:25:36,013 --> 00:25:39,308
He's a rotting mess,
but he's mine, and I love him.

609
00:25:39,392 --> 00:25:42,937
And besides, baby, I'm your only choice.
So, what are you gonna do?

610
00:25:43,020 --> 00:25:45,940
Hang on, Rick,
you been saying that forever.

611
00:25:46,023 --> 00:25:47,400
What does it even mean?

612
00:25:47,483 --> 00:25:48,901
Well...

613
00:25:50,736 --> 00:25:55,449
♪ When the ghosts of fear and failure
Come to haunt you ♪

614
00:25:56,075 --> 00:26:01,163
♪ And the gleaming lights of hope
All fade from view ♪

615
00:26:01,247 --> 00:26:06,502
♪ When the armies of doubt and dread
Are marching in your head ♪

616
00:26:06,586 --> 00:26:11,173
♪ Then the answer, my friend
Is tried and true ♪

617
00:26:11,257 --> 00:26:15,136
♪ Whatcha gonna do? ♪

618
00:26:16,846 --> 00:26:21,601
♪ When a mother leaves her babe
To cry in darkness ♪

619
00:26:22,101 --> 00:26:27,273
♪ And the storm clouds of betrayal
Begin to brew ♪

620
00:26:27,356 --> 00:26:32,528
♪ When the fortune-teller lies
And the faithful hide their eyes ♪

621
00:26:32,612 --> 00:26:37,450
♪ Then the cosmos has but one answer 
For you ♪

622
00:26:37,533 --> 00:26:39,785
♪ Whatcha gonna do? ♪

623
00:26:39,869 --> 00:26:42,997
♪ Whatcha gonna do? ♪

624
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:48,210
♪ When you think that you're da man
'Cause they told you, you da man ♪

625
00:26:48,294 --> 00:26:50,838
♪ And you want to be da man ♪

626
00:26:50,921 --> 00:26:55,384
♪ But it turns out you're not da man ♪

627
00:26:55,468 --> 00:26:58,262
♪ Whatcha gonna do? ♪

628
00:26:58,346 --> 00:27:00,681
♪ Whatcha gonna do? ♪

629
00:27:00,765 --> 00:27:03,184
♪ Whatcha gonna do? ♪

630
00:27:03,267 --> 00:27:05,853
♪ Whatcha gonna do? ♪

631
00:27:05,936 --> 00:27:08,522
-♪ Whatcha gonna do? ♪
-♪ Whatcha gonna do? ♪

632
00:27:08,606 --> 00:27:11,150
-♪ Whatcha gonna do? ♪
-♪ Whatcha gonna do? ♪

633
00:27:11,233 --> 00:27:13,819
-♪ Whatcha gonna do? ♪
-♪ Whatcha gonna do? ♪

634
00:27:13,903 --> 00:27:16,447
-♪ Whatcha gonna do? ♪
-♪ Whatcha gonna do? ♪

635
00:27:16,530 --> 00:27:18,741
-♪ Whatcha gonna do? ♪
-♪ Whatcha gonna do? ♪

636
00:27:19,116 --> 00:27:21,619
-♪ Whatcha gonna do? ♪
-♪ Whatcha gonna do? ♪

637
00:27:26,749 --> 00:27:28,417
Whatcha gonna do?

638
00:27:28,501 --> 00:27:30,419
-[man] Fathouse.
-[ticking]

639
00:27:30,503 --> 00:27:32,922
[man laughs] "Good at Bizness."

640
00:27:33,005 --> 00:27:35,007
-[man] Chirp.
-[kazoo plays]