- ♪ Rise of the ♪
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪
♪ Rise of the ♪
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪
♪ Heroes in the half-shell Turtle power ♪
♪ Rising up against evil paint the city green ♪
♪ Raph is ready for a fight Leo's making a scene ♪
♪ Mikey's got mad skills Donnie rocks machines ♪
♪ With each other they discover ♪
♪ Their destiny and rise ♪
♪ Cowabunga ♪
♪ Rise of the ♪
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪
♪ Heroes in the half-shell Turtle power ♪
♪ Rise ♪
[easygoing hip-hop music]
- Man, junkyards are gold mines!
♪ ♪
Who needs real pineapples
when you have one of these babies?
♪ ♪
- Donnie! Donnie! Donnie!
I really think we should-- - Ah, fuzzy nerd dice!
- Donnie!
[both grunting with impacts]
♪ ♪
- Mikey, next time, I would appreciate a heads-up.
- Okay. Heads up!
Is that...
- [gasps] It is!
The Jupiter Jim Moon Buggy!
Featured in not one, not two,
but 60 sequels
of "Jupiter Jim's Last Trip to the Moon."
Ah!
- How could anybody let that historical gem
slip through their fingers?
- I do not know, Michael,
but we've got to have it.
[stealthy music]
♪ ♪
- But how are we gonna get the car?
We can't go and talk to one of those human people.
[loud crash]
[rock music]
- Who the heck are youse?
- Oh, no, a mutant!
Wait, we're mutants too. It's okay.
- Dude, you better hide.
There's a human guy around here.
- Easy, easy.
This is Repo Mantis Salvage.
The guy is me.
- This is your lot?
You have to sell us that moon buggy!
Please! Ah!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Cool your scramjets, buddy.
This is a negotiation.
We gotta play it smooth.
[bold percussive music]
♪ ♪
- So, uh, how much you gonna pay us
to take this pile of parts off your hands, amigo?
- Scram.
I got a lot of fenders to count.
- I see you drive a hard bargain, sir.
Well, perhaps I can interest you
in a little coin.
I've got big silver, small silver,
and I can make it rain copper, daddy.
[underwhelming musical tones]
[dramatic musical tone]
- Hey, you ain't got nearly enough, but say,
I could use a couple of tough muties like you.
Ever do any repo work?
- Of course!
No. What's repo work?
- It's when you take stuff back
from deadbeats who didn't pay for it.
Do a job for me today,
and I'll let you have that moon buggy thing.
- We're in. - And...sidebar.
Look, Mikey, repo men have to be mean,
and I don't know if you know this,
but you're kind of a softie.
- That really hurts my feelings!
Oh.
You have a point.
But I can do this.
Hard as nails. Grr.
We're in.
What's the skinny, chico?
- I need you to get an RV
from a real shady mutant.
Holes up in the woods
on the wrong side of the tracks,
in the darkest outskirts of the bad part of town.
- Thanks for the ride! Ah!
- I ran a profile on this guy.
Lawless loner, doesn't pay his bills,
lives in this very spooky forest.
He is a 98% match for the Spine-Breaking Bandit!
[dramatic music]
- Pfft. I'm not scared
of some no-good forest dweller!
Let's see him!
There's his RV!
[growling noises]
both: Ah!
- That's the biggest forest dweller
I've ever seen! - He is totally
gonna break our spines.
Maybe we should call Raph and Leo.
- No, no, no, no, no! We got this.
Think of all the boss adventures
we could have in the moon buggy!
- Ah, all right.
If you are dead-set on doing this,
we gotta go stealth.
Sneak-jitsu 101:
Never let a spine-breaker get behind you.
[both scream] - No! He's behind us!
He is directly behind us!
Ah!
- Oof!
Ah.
[dramatic music]
- Hey, I'm Todd!
Welcome to Cuddle Cakes Puppy Rescue,
the puppy-est place on earth!
[laughs]
- Puppies.
Right.
And which one are you having for dinner?
- Oh, right! It's dinner time!
[jaunty music]
Hey, you guys want some of my
Internet-famous homemade lemonade?
I donate it to folks in Alaska who need a little sunshine.
[gentle music]
- Oh, wow. This is pretty good.
- That honestly tastes exactly like sunshine.
Wow. And sidebar.
Cute puppies, nonprofit lemonade?
This is no spine-breaking bandit.
- He's the nicest guy in the world.
- But we need that RV.
We gotta be tough with him.
Hard as nails!
[extended slurping]
- Got it.
[dramatic music]
So, Todd,
let's get down to business about your RV.
- Sure thing!
Could you hold Willis?
- Oh, I d--I don't know if I'm--no!
Aww, you little mischief-maker!
Wait a minute. We're supposed to be talking
about your RV.
- Look, Todd.
You haven't made a payment in two years,
and that means-- - Yeah.
Turns out, all you get for rescuing puppies
are million-dollar smiles.
[puppy barks]
Ooh, Miho wants her belly rubbed.
- My hard-as-nails brother and I are here to--
- And I'll call you Indiana Bones,
and you Little Bones.
- Mikey, come on!
Oh!
- [laughs] Melvin wants to play!
Could you toss his ball? - Okay, fine.
I will toss the ball if you give us the keys to your--
I am in something squishy. I am in something squishy!
- Oh, yeah, I am so swamped,
I never get to clean the yard up.
But you guys are so good at this!
Do you want to grab a couple shovels?
[Mikey and Donnie grunting]
- [sighs]
Why did we just do that?
- I don't know, Michael.
I don't know.
Niceness is his superpower!
- Ah, you guys must be exhausted.
Why don't you sleep over?
In the morning, I can hold Sir Chomps-A-Lot
while you guys floss his giant fangs!
- That sounds gr-- no, no.
We didn't come here to help you.
We came here to repo your RV.
- Okay.
Yeah, I guess me and the pups
will just sleep under the stars tonight.
[distant thunder]
[sniffing]
[morose music]
♪ ♪
And every night,
through puppy hurricane season!
[cries]
♪ ♪
- I can't do it!
- Okay, Todd.
[clears throat]
How about you trade us that dusty RV,
and we make you a new place to sleep, huh?
- [gasps] Really?
And a place to feed the puppies,
and bathe and diaper and play with them?
- Yes. - I don't suppose that--
- Yes, obviously, there will be robot assistants!
- And go!
[upbeat rock music]
♪ ♪
Thanks, guys! I'll never forget you!
And come back
if you ever want to milk the puppies!
They have eight nipples! - No, stop! No.
both: Hard as nails!
- All right! - We did it!
Hey, Repo!
One RV, as promised.
Wax up that moon buggy, baby.
- Not bad, not bad.
But what had happened was...
I ain't giving it to you.
Turns out,
dorky Jupiter Jim fans'll
pay big bucks just to sit in that thing!
- What? We had a deal, buddy-o.
- Scrapping is a tricky business, kids,
and you got tricked.
- We are not leaving
without our moon buggy.
- Hey, the purple one's funny!
- I keep telling you guys I'm funny.
- I'm gonna break your legs
halfway through...twice.
Ah!
- Ha!
Mikey, the magnet!
- Hmm?
[rock music]
♪ ♪
- [sputtering] - A deal's a deal, chico!
- Is there anything magnets can't do?
- Ah! Ooh!
[giddy laughter]
Tallyho!
- Eat crater dust, bug man!
- [panting]
[grunts]
[chuckles]
[horn sounds]
- Man, this thing is super slow.
- Of course it is.
It was built for the gravity of the Moon.
- Give me back my dork-mobile!
- Moon-core lasers, activate!
Oh... - Uh...
- Crater dust cloud...
- Should that do anything?
- Zero-atmosphere Gatling missiles?
Ah, nuts.
[both yell]
- [laughs maniacally]
[rock music]
- This is a movie vehicle, pal.
They wouldn't load it up with advanced lunar artillery.
- Not unless it's the moon buggy
from "Jupiter Jim's Third Last Trip to the moon,"
which had a fake dashboard
to fool the Plutonians!
Pasta fazool!
I'm kicking in Jupiter Jim Titan Turbo Mode!
[both cheering]
- [growls]
♪ ♪
- I can't shake him.
- I'll try the Gravity Grease 3000.
Crowd: Oil! Ah, oil!
Oil? This is gonna...
- I think we got a bunch of people
pretty oily. Ow!
[horn honking]
- Maybe the bug-zapper button. - Really?
There is a bug-zapper but-- why didn't you try that first?
- It didn't have a 3000 after it.
- There. Happy?
- Why, thank you.
[electronic humming]
- Oh...
What a pretty tone of blue.
Ow!
[spacey electronic music]
both: Hard as nails!
♪ ♪
- [laughs] Those guys.
[thumping techno music playing]
- Yeah, all right.
- Get 'em.
- [grunting]
- I don't think he's got this.
- Hey! Leave him alone.
- What? I'm just saying he doesn't have this.
- You're just trying to get in my head.
- Oh, my peaches and cream, he just doubled.
- [coughing and wheezing]
- Rag! Now!
- Have I ever told you how big and beautiful you are?
- No, but thank you.
- Uh, he is about to set a new high score.
I can't watch, but I can't not watch!
- [coughing]
[labored breathing]
♪ ♪
- You know what they say about big-time moments?
- Yes, I do.
They say that in big-time moments,
leaders make--
- Brain!
- Game over.
- Ow, my brain!
- No!
Why?
- [inhales heavily]
[sneezes weakly]
- Gesundheit.
- Omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, Splinter's a zombie!
- Mikey, zombies are interested in other people's brains.
- Rat Flu. This is not a drill.
I repeat, this is not a drill, boys.
- I feel terrible.
Do I look terrible?
Be honest.
[woman screams]
- Whoa! - Okay.
- You look great, not horribly sick at all.
He's horribly sick.
- Look, a flu this intense
is going to affect all areas of his brain--
I'm talking the full seven stages--
before his body naturally heals itself.
- You guys know what the full seven stages mean?
- Mm-hmm.
- Another chance to get whatever we want!
all: Yeah!
- But poor Dad.
He must feel terrible.
But lucky us, he'll say yes to whatever we ask for!
Whoo-hoo!
- Only if we make it all the way to end of the flu,
the elusive stage seven.
And we never get there.
- This year's gonna be different.
Nobody's getting bit.
Nobody's getting infected.
- When we do make it to the end,
which I'm now calling the Must Say Yes stage,
what are we gonna ask for?
all: Hmm...
- Hmm.
Well, this year, I was thinking we could ask for,
uh, um, er--uh...
- Aww, he's got nothing. We're dead.
- Hey, I got something, all right?
Like a, uh--
- Uranium!
Oh, we should absolutely ask for uranium.
I mean, if I could finally get my hands
on a little of that, we would be virtually unstoppa--
- What about a brick oven for pizza?
- Who's gonna clean that?
What we should ask for is matching unicorn onesies.
Those are sick! Pun intended.
And I nailed it.
[all grunting]
- Enough. I got this, all right?
I'm gonna ask Splinter
for something that benefits all of us.
- This is so exciting!
But terrible for Dad.
[gasps]
- Buckle up, boys. It's about to get weird.
[air whooshing]
- [babbling]
[razor buzzing]
[all shivering]
- I hate stage one.
Think warm thoughts.
Pizza ovens. Bricks from Italy.
Wood chips roasting.
- We're four hours in.
His fever's gotta break soon.
- I told you guys to plan ahead.
Now I'm sitting here all toasty.
[slurps]
[spits]
What? Wha-- Why?
- Had to air myself out.
[growls]
[screeches]
[all screaming]
- Don't eat me!
Raph's tastier!
- Suits on! Suits on!
Donnie, get the device ready.
- Uh, it's ready.
You know, my inspiration for this device was simplicity.
Why dress something up with lots of bells and whistles
when you can just let it speak for its--
- No one has time for this!
[deep rumbling]
[grunts]
- Nice!
All right, let's get him inside.
- [snarling]
- Okay, this should hold him for a while.
- And you're sure this isn't cruel?
- He loves pizza
and confined spaces you can barely breathe in.
- Donnie, is it gonna hold up?
- Most definitely!
- [snarling]
- [screaming]
[hard rock music]
♪ ♪
- [snarling]
- Aah!
- Mikey, follow me, and be careful.
We can't afford to lose anyone before stage seven.
- I thought we all agreed
it was now called the Must Say Yes stage.
- It would be easier for me to be careful
if I knew you were gonna ask for a pizza oven.
- I'm still thinking!
- Quick question: is uranium still on the table?
- Ugh!
Where's Splinter? Mikey, you smell him?
[suspenseful music]
♪ ♪
- [whimpers]
♪ ♪
[gasps]
- [sighs] - [gasping]
- He's not under there.
- Uh...
- What? - [shrieks]
- Use your words.
- He's...on...you.
- What? Heats on stew?
- He's on you.
- He's on me?
- Yes.
- [snarls] - [screams]
- [snarling]
Oh, my favorite son.
- Favorite son? Run!
- Ugh, these things do not breathe.
- I know, right?
Uh, now, are we sure we're safe?
- Calm down. We're fine.
Raph and Mikey have it under contr--oh, no.
- Stage three. Stage three.
- Oh, little baby blue, come to Papa.
- Suits on! Suits on!
- Why weren't you in your suits?
- It was Leo.
- No one forced you to, Donnie!
Ugh, what's that smell?
- I love you this much.
- No, no, you don't. I'm your least favorite!
- Uh, Leo's infected.
Quarantine him.
- Hey, you need me to get to the Must Say Yes stage.
We need to ask for the onesies--
Whoa, it is really hot.
Is there a fire?
There's a fire here, right?
The floor is made of lava?
[screams]
- Down to three.
All right, fellas, let's be careful
so the rest of us can make sure we get what we want.
Who's got eyes on the package?
- [gasps]
I lost him.
Oh!
[both gasp]
- Hot soup!
- [yelps]
all: Ah!
- Oh!
Where'd Splinter go?
all: Huh?
- Guys! I think I felt him!
- Hey, that is my butt!
[all grunting]
Ow! Would everyone please stop hitting me?
- Now I've really got him.
Take that, itchy fuzzball.
- [groaning]
- Oh, not my lab!
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- Donnie, you hit?
- No, no, I'm fine.
I just cut myself on that janky old door.
Everything's okay.
Raph, did you decide what we're gonna ask for?
- Yeah, I got it. I'm gonna ask for--
- [clears throat] - Huh? What?
- ♪ I'm... ♪
- I can't feel my ears! Nothing is worth this!
- We're so close. Only two stages left.
- And three totally healthy turtles left.
Man, why is it so hot in here?
Oh, you're gonna get squat from Splinter without Donnie,
not without ol' Donnie!
I'm the brains behind this operation!
[sneezes]
- Uh, what stage are we on now?
- Okay, okay, okay. Listen, listen, listen.
Okay, we open on noodle shop.
It's raining.
Lou Jitsu-- hot soups, two assassins,
then wham-- interdimensional doorway opens,
and out walks... ♪ Dun-dun-duh ♪
Jupiter Jim, and we smash to titles!
- This is amazing. Keep going.
- We're almost at stage seven.
This is the closest I've been to success, uh, ever.
- [sneezes]
We're done.
Raph is totally gonna blow this.
He has no idea what to ask for, which means--
Getting hot.
It's like I'm on the sun here.
- [chuckles]
I'm not gonna blow this.
- Raphael, I love you, my brother,
but you do tend to fail in big moments.
Pishposh. But that's what makes you you.
Now bring it in, buddy.
I'm gonna hug you till a smile comes out.
- Enough!
Raph's got this, 'cause in big-time moments,
leaders make big-time shots, and I'm big-time!
- [hissing] He must say yes.
Make him say yes.
- Enough!
Don't mess this up, Raph.
Don't mess this up.
- Don't forget we only get
to ask for one thing, my little Raph-a-doodle.
- I know exactly what I'm asking for.
[dramatic music]
- [moans and sniffles]
♪ ♪
- Master Splinter,
I know you'll say yes to whatever I ask for.
I want you to give--
- Raph-a-doodle a hug!
Everybody loves hugs!
- What? No! Anything but that!
- [laughing] Come here!
- Oh! Ow!
- [smooching]
- [sneezes]
- Ooh, flu.
Papa wants a new bike.
[bicycle bell dings]
[sneezes]
Uh-oh.