- ♪ Rise of the ♪
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪
♪ Rise of the ♪
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪
♪ Heroes in the half-shell Turtle power ♪
♪ Rising up against evil paint the city green ♪
♪ Raph is ready for a fight Leo's making a scene ♪
♪ Mikey's got mad skills Donnie rocks machines ♪
♪ With each other they discover ♪
♪ Their destiny and rise ♪
♪ Cowabunga ♪
♪ Rise of the ♪
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪
♪ Heroes in the half-shell Turtle power ♪
♪ Rise ♪
- [shrieks]
- [together] We are mummies. Give us your soul.
- [flatly] Help me, Lou Jitsu.
- Oh, yeah. Who's your daddy, mummies?
- [together] Oh, no. - [grunts]
- [sighs] Man, I never get to be a mummy.
- Fine, be a mummy--
if you can beat Tazan the mummy king!
- Where do you think you four are going?
- A rooftop showing of the rare
"Lou Jitsu Meets the Mummy Ninjas"
[all groan theatrically] - Well, let me know how it is
after you see it some other time,
because tonight, you all stay in and clean!
- No! The classic pause
followed by a rug-pull of our plans.
I hate those! - Come on, Pops.
We cleaned last year. - Yeah.
Plus, it ain't even dirty.
[flies buzzing]
[slime sloshes]
- [chuckles] Uh, we should find the turtles who did that
and get them to clean up.
- Now we're gonna miss the movie!
- Not necessarily. I may have a...
- Please don't say "fix," bro.
- A fix, bro. - Ugh!
We'll be here all night fixing your fix.
- Scoff! Prepare to-- - Uh-nuh-nuh-nuh!
And don't say "eateth thy words."
- Eateth thy words!
- You always say that, but we never do.
- [grunts] - Not amusing, Leo.
- Relax, bud. I'm just saving you
from another epic fail. It's all good.
Despite your juvenile antics and complete lack of faith,
I give you all... Shelldon!
- Good morrow, kind sirs. - Uh-oh.
- Shelldon is our automated smart lair.
[tools whirring]
Here to make our lives comfy, cozy,
and completely free of menial chores.
♪ ♪
Applause. And applause.
And waiting for your applause.
- Gnarly! - Great job, bro.
- Okay.
But what can he do for me?
- With my help, snacks are only a split second away.
- Hey! No, no, no, no!
[shouting]
[grunts]
Whoo-hoo! I never have to use my legs again.
Good job, Purple.
- Allow me to tidy up, gentlemen.
And if you'd like,
I could play that Lou Jitsu movie for you now.
[dramatic music playing]
- Whoa! - Oh, yeah.
- Dude! - What?
- Shelldon is crushing it, Donnie.
- What, Raphael? I cannot hear you
over you eateth-ing thy words.
Zing!
- [chuckles] Good one, sir.
[gong clangs]
- [laughs] - Oh, yeah!
- [voice vibrating] Ah...
How 'bout some music, Shelly, baby?
[gadgets bloop, electronic music plays]
Ugh! You got anything less ear-bleeding?
This is awful!
- Correction:
this is Master Donnie's number one playlist.
- My fave songs to which I may jammy-jam.
- Great massage, bro.
You know, this is your first non-boneheaded invention.
- [gasps] How dast you insult one as selfless and as pure
as Master Donatello?
- What he said. - Coollax.
I'm just razzing him, bud.
- Are we talking or "Crazy Copter"-ing?
I'm laying a hurt on you here, bro!
- No, no-no-no-no. I will not be defeated.
- [grunts, shouts]
- Ha-ha. - What was that?
Did Shelldon make my game glitch?
- I would never. - He would never!
Oh, look. I won the game.
A victory massage please, Shelldon.
[gadgets bloop]
[sighs] - Hey!
- Where'd my relax go?
- Oh, yeah, tennis ball massages are the best.
Oh, yeah! - Hey!
Did you program him to be your best bud or something?
- I would never! - He would never.
- Please. Nothing is more important to me
than the happiness and comfort of my brothers.
- Oh! [shouts] - [laughing]
[shouts]
- [grunts]
[slurps, spits]
[groans] My hot soup is now only luke-hot--AKA cold.
- Humblest apologies.
Perhaps this new upgrade I installed may help.
- Flying microwave?
What is next? Talking waffle irons?
Hot soup!
[all groaning]
- [sniffs] - Hmm.
- [together] Pizza!
- Yow!
The vacuums have lasers?
- Those are Master Donatello's slices.
- Whoa, whoa. Sorry, Shelly.
House rules: leftovers are fair game.
Hey! [grumbles]
You asked for it. Boys.
[wildcat roars]
[grunts]
Too easy. Computers aren't so smart.
[sinister music]
♪ ♪
[all shouting]
[all exhale] - I'm starting to think
this whole Shelldon smart lair thing is a scam.
Donnie's just getting back at us for picking on him.
- Never. [all yelp]
He's too beautiful for that. I promise.
I am here to serve all of you--
right after I deliver Master Donatello all the pizza.
- Uh, the microwave flies? - What?
- A pizza butler? It is good to be Donnie.
[electronic music thudding over speakers]
- You are the bravest turtle, Donatello.
And strongest. And hunkiest. You are a real dreamboat.
You are the bravest turtle, Donatello.
And strongest.
And hunkiest. You are a real dreamboat.
You are the bravest turtle, Donatello.
And strongest. And hunkiest.
- [grunts, groans] - You are a real dreamboat.
You are the greatest turtle, Donatello.
And strongest.
[gong clangs]
- I can't live like this.
Shelldon's turning our home into Donnie Land!
- We gotta take Donnie down a peg.
- But how? He's so brave and strong,
and he's such a dreamboat!
Wait, why did I just say that?
- Too bad Shelldon doesn't love our favorite things.
- That's it.
We should beat Donnie at his own game.
[sneaky music]
♪ ♪
- Excuse me, gentlemen. May I help you?
- Ha, we are good, my friend.
[glass shattering] Red wire here.
Blue wire there. The chippy thingy
into the prongy thingy.
Reprogramulating is easy!
- I'm not sure this is-- whoa-ho-ho-ho!
Gnarly upgrades, dudes!
[energetic music plays]
- Mmm. [smacks lips] You know,
I could really go for an ivory-billed woodpecker omelet.
- Sorry, bro.
Like, those went extinct in '94. [chuckles]
- I hear problems, but not solutions.
And what is wrong with your voice?
- A little tweakage to the 'wave,
and extinct eggs coming right up!
[tense music]
- Yummy in my tummy.
Hmm?
- [bleats] - Dinosaurs?
You time-traveled.
Oh, my dream of traveling through time
solving mysteries with a microwave
may still come true!
- Yeah, okay, old man.
- [cackling] - [laughs] Best brother ever!
- I've always thought so.
- Not you. Shelldon.
- Back at you, Mikey!
Too bad our buzzkill fifth wheel
had to crash the party.
- That is an unexpectedly harsh greeting.
Now then, what is for brekkie today?
- Burritos!
- Tempting, but my culinary needs are more refined.
One flavorless juice, Shelldon.
- Fine! Ugh.
Flavorless juice is served.
- [shouts]
[laughter]
I demand to be cleansed immediately.
- Okeydokey.
[rapid beeping]
- No! No, no, no!
This is not actually cleansing me!
- Uh-huh. No fun when Shelldon isn't doing
what you like, is it, D?
- What have you rapscallions done?
Did you mess with his programming?
- [together] We would never. - They would never!
- Shelly, music.
[laidback beats play]
- Check this out, dudes.
Come on, dance, Donnie, dance! - No! No, no! No lasers!
And more importantly, turn off that music!
- Nice moves, Donnie. - Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay!
- Uh, well played, Shelly, but you can stop now.
- Sorry, R-Dawg. Party's just getting started.
As soon as I give Donnie the boot,
us real bros can bro out.
- [yelping]
- Okay, that's enough.
Time to chill, Shelldon. Joke's over.
[all grunt]
- Come on, bros.
Just let me turn Donnie into turtle dust,
and then I can be your fourth brother.
so let me just finish him off. It'll be excellent.
- You three messed with his circuitry!
- [together] We would never. - They. Would. Never.
[dramatic music]
[all shout]
♪ ♪
- [panting] - Hey, there you guys are.
- You can't be our fourth brother.
- Beg to differ with you, bros.
Like it or not, I'm in and Donnie's out.
♪ ♪
- Just admit it, Donnie. You made him favor you over us.
- You made him try to vaporize me.
- Enough whining, Donnie!
♪ ♪
[laughs] I love having brothers!
- Punches! - Ha!
- Pow! - Yah!
- Awesome! This is like a fun game of tag,
except with punches.
[all shout]
[all grunting]
- Oh, no.
[shouts] No, no, no, no.
[shouts, grunts]
[struggling]
- Time to snip a branch off the family tree.
- If I am to perish, tell me the truth, brethren:
you reprogrammed him. I promise, no hard feelings.
- Don't fall for it.
- Okay, fine. We did.
- I knew it! Hard feelings! Massive hard feelings!
Well, at least I shall go to my end
knowing I was the better brother.
- No, way. You totally programmed me to favor you.
both: I knew it!
- [shouting]
- Shelldon! No, stop!
If you really wanna be our fourth brother, Shelly,
fly your microwave butler on over.
It's burrito time. - Yeah, bro.
- That would so hit the spot, bro-ham.
♪ ♪
- [gulps]
♪ ♪
- Oh, why didn't you say so, bud?
Burritos coming right up for my bros!
- [shouts]
- Not cool, bro!
♪ ♪
- Whoa! Man. [exhales] What a day.
Great invention, Donnie.
Now you just gotta invent something
to clean up all of Shelldon's mess.
- This sounds like a job for Shelldon 2.0.
- [together] No!
- Which will not play favorites.
- What did you do?
You destroyed my detective microwave friend!
- [together] We would never!
- They would never.