- ♪ Rise of the ♪
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪
♪ Rise of the ♪
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪
♪ Heroes in the half-shell Turtle power ♪
♪ Rising up against evil paint the city green ♪
♪ Raph is ready for a fight Leo's making a scene ♪
♪ Mikey's got mad skills Donnie rocks machines ♪
♪ With each other they discover ♪
♪ Their destiny and rise ♪
♪ Cowabunga ♪
♪ Rise of the ♪
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪
♪ Heroes in the half-shell Turtle power ♪
♪ Rise ♪
- I'm calling it now, boys.
This will be our easiest mission ever.
- Yes! Dad said all we have to do
is return this one Lou Jitsu DVD he rented for us--
- Back to the video store before midnight
and I will give you all hugs
and um, I will also throw in-- - Ah!
- Yes! - Deal!
- No take backs!
[tires screeching]
- I forget. What happens if we don't return
the DVD before midnight?
- Then Splinter gets charged extra.
It's called a... "late fee."
- Or was it zombie apocalypse?
I don't remember, but we can't afford either.
Now let's return this DVD so we can go home and get hugs.
- All right! Hugs! - Ho-ho, yeah!
Great call on the disguises, guys.
They really help us blend in with all the people--
[wind howls]
Wait, where is everyone?
[all scream]
[tools whirring, bell dinging]
[foghorn blares] - That didn't go so well,
but on the upside, we get to ride the ferry
to another DVD store!
- So we didn't see all the "warning: demolition" signs.
No biggie. - Yeah.
And my horoscope didn't say anything
about reading signs so--oh! Wet paint?
My horoscope betrayed me. We're cursed!
We'll never return our DVD before midnight!
- Easy, Michael. Easy.
Back in ancient times, early 2002,
there were boxes, or "kiosks,"
where you could rent and/or return DVDs,
and I just plotted every one in New York
to the Tank's GPS, you're welcome,
so as soon as we dock-- - We can finish our mission
and go get Splinter's warm and fuzzy hugs?
- Yes! And the ferry's just about ready to dock.
- Easiest mission ever! - Uh, folks, a, uh,
movie production has the harbor, uhh, closed.
[foghorn blares]
[gunfire, planes whooshing]
- [roaring]
- Cut! Cut-cut-cut!
Find that monkey's talent and bring it to set!
- New York. What a town.
- We're stuck! Oh!
Now I'll never know if Splinter's whiskers tickle.
- Oh, you will know, Mikey. New plan!
We swim to the nearest DVD kiosk.
- Which is approximately 1.0 nautical miles that direction.
- Still a piece of cake.
[adventurous music]
[video game beeping, playful music]
- Okay, okay, okay, my turn.
If Lou Jitsu and Jupiter Jim
make a crossover movie,
and that movie is a kid
with pro basketball skills:
that's me, baby!
- Not bad, not bad. But look.
- [groans] - The DVD kiosk!
- Ah, the sweet stink of victory.
- Gentlemen, we clear a path to the return slot:
we are home free.
- Easiest. Mission. Ever.
- [screeching] [all scream]
- [squealing] - No!
No, no, no, no, no! Bad mutant Silverfish.
- [squawks] - Save the kiosk!
- Ah-ee-yah! - [screeching]
- Ow!
- [groaning]
- [throaty screeches]
- [groans]
[yelping]
- Raph-a-roni's got a New York treat for ya...
Eat this, bug!
[grunts]
[electricity crackles]
[all screeching]
[nervous chuckle] Wha--oops. My bad.
- It's fine. We're fine.
It's two hours before midnight
and Donnie said there's tons
of these DVD kiosks nearby,
right, Donnie baby?
- Phew, okay. There's the next kiosk.
Raph, if you would, please.
- Um, excuse me, sir--
- You shall not pass!
- Oh, what a town. - Ugh.
We don't have time for this. Next!
[light hip-hop music]
[foghorn honks]
- Okay, here we are, boys, with plenty of time to spare.
[subway train whooshes]
- Raph, if you would please do the honors and return our DVD.
♪ ♪
- Well, uh--[nervous chuckle]
Hey, uh, have you guys seen--
all: Seriously? - Oh. Yeah.
I left the DVD in the Tank where it's safe
when Donnie made us swim across the harbor.
- Gasp! That was your idea!
- Well, sometimes Raph's ideas and mistakes
are the same thing, all right? - [groans]
This was supposed to be easy.
- New, new plan.
- It's been a few hours, so I bet that ferry is
back at the dock. Let's go get our Tank and DVD.
- The ferry's too far, and we're running out of time.
We'll never get Splinter's hugs!
- In that case, for speed, efficiency, and fun,
may I suggest New York's most enjoyably unreliable
and deliciously claustrophobic mode of transit?
The subway! both: Ah.
- [growling]
- Whose hand is that? That's a hand, right?
Who is touching me? - I feel like I can feel
Dad's hugs, and spoiler alert,
they are plush.
- You have invaded the Dragonmaster's personal space!
- Harbor Ferry, exit now.
- New York. What a town.
- [panting, grunts]
[giddy tip-toeing]
- Okay, I'm up, I'm up. Ready?
If Halley's Comet and improvisational comedy
had a kid with a mysterious superstar's leather jacket:
that is me.
- A DVD kiosk! all: Yes!
- My horoscope said I would point out the obvious today.
- Raph was parked next to this the whole time!
- Relax. We're here. We made it!
- And with a little time to spare!
BRB with the DVD, B-R-O-Ses.
all: Hugs! Hugs! Hugs! Hugs! [scream]
Brake-brake-brake-brake! Brake!
[electricity sizzles]
[kiosk powers down]
[solemn music]
all: No!
- What else could possibly go wrong?
- Peek-a-boo, tortugas.
Yoink!
all: Ghostbear?
- Last time we met,
you ruined my pro wrestling career.
both: Hurricane!
[dinging]
- [groaning]
- Cowabunga!
- Now, I will ruin what you love.
Starting with your precious disc of video.
Lou Jitsu movies are estúpido.
- You take that back!
Unless estúpido means "brilliant!"
- [cackling]
- New, new-new plan. Tortoise gets the bear.
all: Yes.
[tires squealing]
- You tortugas can't catch me!
- Why are there wizards in the middle of the street?
- It's Wizard Con, baby!
- Slay the steel dragon!
- Hey! I'm casting here!
- Leo, Mikey, launch the Shell Hogs.
- [laughs] Oh, I love your little tricycle!
- You shall not pass!
- Ah!
[tires screeching]
[crashes]
[electricity fizzles]
- I can fix this. I can fix this.
I can totally fix this! - Hey, Donnie.
If you got any more secret vehicles,
now's the time to be a good brother and share.
- Uh, well, there is this one thing.
But I haven't tested it yet, so...
- Tests are easy. It's answers that are hard.
- I love you so much. Let's do it!
[engine powering up]
[car horns honking]
[dramatic music]
- Give us back our DVD, Ghost-jerk!
[chain clanking]
- Make me, bufón naranja!
- Ow!
Raph, Donnie, where are you guys?
both: Coming in fast!
- This is awesome!
- Where'd everybody go!?
- That gives me a reckless idea!
- [grunts] - [blows raspberry]
♪ ♪
Come on, portal, portal, portal!
Yeah! - You're blocking the portal!
- Oh, no.
[both scream]
[all scream]
[thudding]
- Savage wizardry! What black magic was that?
- Look! Another DVD store.
If we get ours back, we can still pull this off!
[both screaming]
Ah!
[heavy breath]
Two minutes to midnight, maidens.
- [laughing hysterically]
You fell out of the sky like, "Wah!"
And ruined your little toy.
- You have no idea what we've been through tonight.
And on top of it all you steal our DVD?
- Is that any way to treat a fan?
- Here we go. - Groan.
- Nya-nya-nya.
I can tell how much you want
this DVD... for watching.
- Actually, we really need to return--
[chokes] - Eh-eh-eh.
Return to the first scene because, uh,
we want to watch it so badly.
- Yeah. Only the cruelest of villains
would drop our DVD in that return slot over there
and then confirm that it did in fact drop all the way down.
- Ooh. Foolish, tortugas!
Never reveal your weakness to an enemy.
[giddy murmur]
[nervous whining]
[louder nervous whining]
- Ha! Now you will never watch the movie!
Admit it, I have ruined your--huh?
Huh?
No!
[character speaking foreign language]
- [gasps] - We returned your DVD.
And now you owe us...
all: Hugs! Hugs! Hugs! - It's happening!
- Okay, you have earned...this! all: Yeah!
[murmuring happily]
- [choked up] Ah, I will never forget this feeling.
- I love all my sons.
All five of you.
- [strained] New York. What a town!