- ♪ Rise of the ♪
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪
♪ Rise of the ♪
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪
♪ Heroes in the half-shell Turtle power ♪
♪ Rising up against evil paint the city green ♪
♪ Raph is ready for a fight Leo's making a scene ♪
♪ Mikey's got mad skills Donnie rocks machines ♪
♪ With each other they discover ♪
♪ Their destiny and rise ♪
♪ Cowabunga ♪
♪ Rise of the ♪
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪
♪ Heroes in the half-shell Turtle power ♪
♪ Rise ♪
- [laughs menacingly] Lou Jitsu, you are finished!
For we are fifty and you are just one!
- Ah, that's what you think. For Master Greenberg,
before he was eaten by a horse, taught me...
the 50 Man Punch!
Hot...soo--
- Oh, oh, a fun trivia fact about this scene--
- No! - What are you doing?
Play the punch!
[all chanting] Punch! Punch! Punch!
- I thought you'd enjoy some inside tidbit info
from your movie hero...me.
[all chanting] Punch, punch, punch!
- Whoever said never meet your idols never met me.
Am I right boys?
I can still remember every stuntman's name.
Ryker, Chad, Wilder,
the Brian twins,
Kris with a K, Josh...
- Is it just me, or was Lou Jitsu a lot cooler
before he was our dad?
- [gasps] Good Galileo!
The original Jupiter Jim is gonna be at Galaxy Con!
- Marques Moncrief?! He's my all-time favorite
actor slash role model slash father figure.
- I am standing right here.
And really? Marcus Moncrief?
That guy couldn't hold my lobster bib.
- Hey, we should get him to sign our special edition
Jupiter Jim 1,000!
- To the comic book safe!
- Hmm...Kris with a K would never treat me like that.
- Begin voice-match I.D.
- We don't have time for this!
- Voice not recognized.
- Bootyyyshak3r9000. [chuckles]
- Access granted.
[all gasp]
- It's beautiful.
- Galaxy Con.
The one place we fit right in.
- Now, if the masses puncture the mylar, save the comic--
leave me behind, but build statues to my sacrifice.
- Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.
It's him.
- Uh, Mr. Moncrief?
- [chuckles] Looks like I'm being invaded.
Last warning, Turtle Alien scum,
get off this planet!
- He's doing the movie!
Prepare to be blasted, human!
- Jupiter Jim's prime directive
is to maintain interplanetary peace,
and if you pose a threat to that I say...
"Jupiter Jim ahoy!"
all: Pew, pew, pew!
- Finger lasers, finger lasers, finger lasers!
- Pew! Pew! Pew! - [groans]
Jupiter Jim fake blastered me.
I can die now.
- Excuse me, um, Mr. Jampeter Jupe.
[chuckles] I mean, Jampiter June...
Ah, I mean, fans...we is.
- What my brother's trying to say is
we're your biggest fans, Mr. Moncrief.
- We are so happy to meet you, ohh.
- But not happy to eat you, as they said
in "Jupiter Jim and Shark People of Planet Shark."
- Impressive.
Say, how'd you Reptilians like to see the harpoon ray
I dispatched those Shark People with, hmm?
I have it at my headquarters.
- [gasps] - Uh, like come to your house?
- Raph, when the single greatest actor in the history
of low budget sci-fi invites you to his headquarters,
you say yes!
Yes!
- Okay, then. Shall we?
Jupiter Jim...
all: Ahoy!
- Can somebody cover me? I'm all out of earth dollars.
Welcome to my humble abode.
all: The S.S. Starbolt!
- Wow!
- [gasp]
- [laughing]
- This place is so mint, I wish I could wrap it up
in a mylar sleeve.
- Oh, it's beautiful. The only thing Splinter
ever showed us was Lou Jitsu's old chest wigs.
- Yeah, those were lame. And itchy.
- Whoa, the Captain's Chair!
- Welcome aboard the Starbolt.
- Wait a minute, did he just change
into a Jupiter Jim costume?
- He's giving us the ultimate fan experience.
And this ultimate fan is loving every second of it.
- You rock, Mr. Moncrief.
- Call me Jupiter Jim.
Now, how about that harpoon ray?
- Solar Sabers, Stidgian Thumb cuffs,
Deltaroid torture sticks! Oh-ho-ho!
Gentlemen, if you need me,
I will be living inside this cabinet.
[grunts]
- Here she is. Who wants a go?
- Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me!
[groans] - [yelps]
- Whoa, uh, Mr. Jim,
wasn't that laser a little, uh, real?
- I was almost incinerated!
Cool.
- Sorry. I'm not worthy to handle
your surprisingly real space laser.
- I'll say. I should never have given
such a weapon to the scourge of the galaxy!
[inhales] Keep it together, Jim.
Another misstep like that and you're toast!
- Well, uh, thanks for the tour,
but we should probably be going.
- No, I'm not going back to what's-his-rat.
I want to see his, um his...
- Hall of victories!
- Yeah.
Can't leave without seeing this, fellas.
- [laughs]
- That, yes!
Splinter's only got a Hall of Dirty Robes.
- You guys go ahead.
I'll initiate the comic signing protocol.
- Yeah, I'll, uh, supervise.
- Behold, a testament
to my greatest intergalactic victories.
- [squeals]
"Jupiter Jim and the Robo Bloodsuckers!"
- Ah, that's the desert where you thumped the Kangaroolians!
And--and--and that's Crushasaurus Mech!
- Wanna see something really special?
- "Jupiter Jim on Planet Reptilia!"
- Wow!
- You look right...at home.
- [groans]
- The Jupiter Jim Nerve Pinch is real?
You paralyzed him-- do me do me!
- Sure, thing, pally.
- I don't know, something about this dude
is creeping me out. Let's just get the autograph
and jet, all right?
- Do not rush me.
Exposing interior pages to the elements could impact
its Ultra-Mint Condition.
- He's got some cool stuff, though.
I mean, this statue really looks like his
red panda sidekick, Red Fox.
Ah, it blinked!
- I'm sure it is merely an optical illusion caused by--
Oh no! - [shouting]
- Help me.
- She's...she's alive!
They're all alive!
Moncrief thinks he's the real Jupiter Jim!
And these poor fans are real villains!
[gasps] Leo and Mikey!
Where's Moncrief?
- Jupiter Jim Ahoy!
[both screaming]
- Hand over our brothers, Moncrief!
- Moncrief? [scoffs]
That's just an Earth name I use to lull villains
such as you into a false sense of security.
Then, pow!
Jupiter Jim neutralizes the threat and once again
keeps the galaxy safe from evil.
- Oh, I see. You're full-on crazy.
Donnie, you go get Leo and Mikey.
I'll handle this space case.
- Leo, help me! You're the super fan.
- Answer...in...comic.
- Yeah, right, uh-huh, you cannot possibly
be suggesting I expose this mint condition
Jupiter Jim 1,000 to the elements!
- Donnie!
- Can't we just get new brothers?
all: Donnie!
- Okay, okay.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
Mint, gah! Near mint.
[groans] Fine, oh!
Very good--no, I can't look!
Jupiter Jim's Nerve Pinch reverse technique!
- We're free!
- But at what cost?
- Um, little help over here!
- One down!
- You'll never catch the rest of us, Moncrief.
Come on guys, let's-- - [groans]
- [laughs menacingly] Take that, alien scum!
I will protect this Earth from all evil.
- If he thinks we're real aliens,
let's be real aliens.
Freeze, Jupiter Jim
or I will blast you with the Invisible Blaster from,
um, Seti Alpha Nine as seen in
"Jupiter Jim and the Invisible Blaster from Seti Alpha Nine."
- Egad! Don't shoot!
[both grunt] I should've planned
for your devious reptilian cunning.
- Now, it doesn't have to be this way.
For Centulons our species have been at war,
but the one thing I know Jupiter Jim values
above all else
is interplanetary peace.
- That is my prime directive...
- And peace begins with a hug.
What do you say? Bring it in, bro.
[yelps] - Peace, ahoy.
- Little mustard on that hug, but all good.
- Now that our species have a tenuous alliance,
I'll be seeing you around the galaxy.
- I would love that.
- Peace wins the day.
But I'll be watching you.
- Uh, guys? Just wanted to point out that
these "villains" are actually regular people in costumes!
Just wanted make it clear so we're all on
the same page moving forward.
- Until we meet again!
- [sighs] How I miss my spandex onesies.
- Ah, right where we left you.
- Oh, uh... [clears throat]
Hello, sons.
How was your day hanging out with Jupiter Jerk?
- Eh, it had its ups and downs. But who needs that guy?
As far as we're concerned, we live with our hero.
Our non-kidnap-y hero.
- Yeah, tell us about that stuntman again.
- Oh, Chad! [chuckles]
What a prankster.