- ♪ Rise of the ♪
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪
♪ Rise of the ♪
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪
♪ Heroes in the half-shell Turtle power ♪
♪ Rising up against evil paint the city green ♪
♪ Raph is ready for a fight Leo's making a scene ♪
♪ Mikey's got mad skills Donnie rocks machines ♪
♪ With each other they discover ♪
♪ Their destiny and rise ♪
♪ Cowabunga ♪
♪ Rise of the ♪
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪
♪ Heroes in the half-shell Turtle power ♪
♪ Rise ♪
- And I think if you look
at our résumé, you'll find
that we are more than qualified
for this job.
- And we split a salary.
[snaps fingers, clicks tongue]
- Mm, strong references.
But look, mateys, the truth is,
you misread the sign.
I'm not looking for help.
I'm looking for lunch.
- Oh, we'd love lunch.
[metallic clang]
Oh.
[dramatic music]
Oh, man, I'm seeing my whole life flash before me.
- Oh, yeah? Which part specifically?
- The day we got hired by Baron Draxum.
Remember that?
- Oh, do I. Flashback?
- Wavy dissolve.
[whimsical musical flourish]
- Rep it out! You got this!
Rep it out! Push it with your arms, Muninn.
Get swole, dig deep.
Push it, push it, push it.
- [grunting]
One. - Yes!
- Oh, yeah! Check out these walnuts.
- Hey, scrubs, put away our weights.
[clangs]
- And our funky socks.
- And our medicine ball.
[thumps, clatters]
[metallic clang]
- Aw, man, Huginn.
We're never gonna get out of this
stupid gargoyle boot camp.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's not the Muninn I know.
You gotta be positive.
Someday, somebody will see our talent
and give us a home.
And finally, we'll be sleeping
on a nice, cushy bed in front of a fireplace.
- [gasps] Like dogs?
- Bow-stinking-wow.
- Ten-hut!
Wings back and horns up!
all: Hut, hut, hut. - Goyles of Fortune has
received an order for two super awesome bros!
The awesome bros will live in an awesome castle
with all the awesome comforts
and perform awesome missions
for an awesome warrior alchemist.
And they're looking for our two most awesome recruits.
Now who's it gonna be?
- Ooh.
- [grunts]
- [groans]
[both grunting]
- You two! - They picked us?
- Oh, we're out of here.
See you later, "sleeping in a box of knives."
- No, you canaries!
I want you to drive these real bros
to Baron Draxum's.
[both grunt] - Awesome!
- Totes vascular, bro!
[rousing music]
Pull faster, canaries.
- Why does Sarge always give us these really lousy jobs?
- He doesn't realize how smart we are.
Hey, instead of taking these guys up
Slow and Steady Way, how 'bout we impress Sarge
by taking the shortcut up Devil's Backbone?
[lightning zaps]
- Super smart. Sarge'll be stoked!
- Hey, slow down!
Too bumpy.
[bangs] [both yell]
- Hey, did you hear a falling scream?
- Probably just the Lava Demon.
[mysterious music]
[doorbell chimes]
- Hi, we're here from Goyles of Fortune
with your--whoa.
How'd you like to perch on those shoulders all day?
- Plush.
- You're my Goyles of Fortune?
- Uh, no, that'd be the guys in the...
[zapping]
Yes, yes we are.
- Yeesh.
I expected something a little more beefcake-y.
- Oh, trust us. We beef the best cake.
- Let's see if you have that famous gargoyle
wood-splitting ability.
[thuds]
[cracking]
- [moans] - Not bad.
- [grunts] - Not bad.
You are tough.
That looked like it really hurt.
- It did.
[wings flapping]
- Muninn, look.
[flame whooshes]
- [gasps]
Dog bed, dog bed, dog bed!
- This is my laboratory.
These exotic creatures will one day protect
the Yokai from the human threat.
- Ooh, look at these tasty treats.
- Stop! They're not food.
They're my prime subjects.
These rare surface creatures will one day
become great warriors,
once I mutate them with the right DNA.
Anyway, your first task:
put this bridle on my new pony.
- Dude, this is cake.
We get to live in dog bed heaven,
and all we have to do is bridle a sweet little pony?
[screeching neigh] [both shriek]
both: Oh, no!
[pony screeching] [blows landing]
[both grunting]
- All done, boss.
Hoo, boy, that pony's all grown up, huh?
- Adequate work.
- [groans] - Ooh.
- Oh, well, now that that's done,
we're gonna take a little catnap on the dog bed.
- Uh, uh, uh.
Dog beds are
for permanent employees,
which you are not
until you complete your next task:
the mighty Lou Jitsu.
With his DNA, I could create warrior beasts
to protect our people.
But Big Mama refuses to part with him,
even though he hasn't fought in ages.
That's where you come in.
- So you want us to sneak into the Hidden City's
most heavily guarded place, the Battle Nexus--
- And kidnap his most powerful champion, Lou Jistu?
- You get it. Wake me when you're back.
[determined music]
- Well, this was fun
and painful while it lasted,
but no way are we kidnapping a Battle Nexus champion.
- You're not thinking of the big picture, Muninn:
a home where you can toast your claws
by a roaring fire as you sink
into a half an inch of medium quality foam.
- But how are we gonna sneak into the Battle Nexus?
[crowd cheering]
[triumphant music]
- Step aside, scrubs.
Your new champ-i-on is here.
- The Golden Goyle! Walnuts!
- I heard you BroGoyles is pretty tough.
- Oh, no. [crashes]
[cracking]
- Hoo-wee! That's impressive!
Champions' Row is to the left.
[crowd cheering distantly]
- This way, Muninn. Muninn?
[crowd cheering]
- Oh, so we're not gonna--okay.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
Do you really think we can handle
the most ferocious champion in the history
of the Battle Nexus?
- No, absolutely not.
There's no chance.
We just have to make him think we can.
We gotta go full alpha bro.
- Yeah! Fire up them walnuts!
[both exclaim]
[banging] - Ow!
[groans]
You're coming with us, bro.
You give us any lip, we'll mess you up big-time.
- If Big Mama sent you,
I have not changed my mind.
No more fighting. I have sworn off violence.
[chomps]
Ow!
Why, you little--I mean,
I forgive you, little friend.
Whoa! That's kind of a lot of blood.
- Oh, we're not from Big Mama.
Our boss just wants to use you
in weird, unsafe experiments.
- As long as I don't have to fight.
Om. Om.
- I'm very impressed.
Be on my shoulders first thing in the morning.
Oh, and enjoy your first night in your dog bed.
both: Bow-stinking-wow!
- [groans]
Well, aren't you cute?
I will call you Green,
and you, Green Number Two.
Aw, how can I tell you turtles apart?
- Ah, the great Lou Jitsu.
Your warrior prowess is legendary.
- My fighting days are behind me.
I will never harm another creature.
[smooches, shrieks]
Why, you little--
- Fighting will not be needed,
only your innate genetic gifts.
- We did it, old chum.
- We sure did, old bean.
[glasses clink]
[both slurp]
[ominous music]
- What are you doing with Green?
- You've taken quite a liking to these turtles.
Fascinating creatures, built for survival and defense,
yet there are too slow to be effective fighters.
Until now, when I use your DNA to mutate them.
- Wait! Stop!
I will not let you turn these innocent creatures
into violent monsters!
♪ ♪
- [laughs]
- I know I said
I'd never fight again, but...
[grunting]
Hot soup!
[thuds]
[grunts] - [shrieks]
[grunts]
[tense music]
♪ ♪
What have you done?
[both groaning]
- Muninn, wake up. Do you hear that?
- Uh, the sound of violent thrashing in the lab?
No, I do not.
- Come on, we gotta go help Baron Draxum.
We don't wanna lose the plush life.
[exciting music]
- [shrieking]
[both grunting] [blows landing]
- What can we do?
- Nothing, but our buddy the pony can.
Destroy Lou Jitsu!
[pony screeching] [both groaning]
[both grunt]
both: Oh!
[explosion booms]
- What? No!
My ooze! Ooh!
- Precious little creatures.
I will save you little turtles.
[creatures squealing]
[dramatic music]
[alarm blares]
♪ ♪
[roars]
♪ ♪
You too, my--ow!
Why, you little...
[shrieks]
♪ ♪
- No!
[tense music]
♪ ♪
[wings flapping]
My life's work.
- We are so sorry that Lou Jitsu destroyed your lab.
That's L-O-U J-I-T-S-U.
- But at least your loyal, hardworking gargoyles
saved your life.
- It will take years to rebuild.
I must begin again.
[dark music]
What are you waiting for? Up, up.
both: Job security!
[flames whooshing]
- Ah, those were the days, huh?
Shall we?
- You could have done that the whole time?
- Yeah, I just wanted you
to finish the flashback.
Your stories make me warm inside.
- You know what makes me warm inside?
both: Tamales!