1 00:00:02,186 --> 00:00:06,298 ♪♪ 2 00:00:06,398 --> 00:00:08,108 - I've been on this for 10 years, from the beginning. 3 00:00:08,208 --> 00:00:09,610 What's been going on the last two months 4 00:00:09,743 --> 00:00:12,045 is unlike anything we've ever experienced. 5 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:14,014 - Hi. 6 00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:18,418 - Previously, on the Summer House Reunion. 7 00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:21,288 Do you think you could be falling in love? 8 00:00:21,421 --> 00:00:24,124 - That's the conversations that we've had. 9 00:00:24,258 --> 00:00:26,193 That's the-- That, I've waited-- 10 00:00:26,293 --> 00:00:28,028 You can laugh at me all you want. 11 00:00:29,012 --> 00:00:30,964 - This isn't like, a sex scandal. 12 00:00:31,064 --> 00:00:32,165 It was like, hanging out. 13 00:00:32,299 --> 00:00:34,301 - Why continue to lie? - Literally! 14 00:00:34,434 --> 00:00:36,603 You live a different ----ing life off-camera, 15 00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:38,138 than you do on camera. 16 00:00:38,238 --> 00:00:41,975 You had a girlfriend... 17 00:00:42,109 --> 00:00:43,310 Meija. 18 00:00:43,410 --> 00:00:45,479 - Our relationship is like, just that easy for him 19 00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:47,614 to, like, completely discredit. 20 00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:49,816 That's just, like, so ----ing hurtful. 21 00:00:49,950 --> 00:00:51,543 - It's been public who I've hooked up with 22 00:00:51,677 --> 00:00:52,719 every once in a while. 23 00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:54,421 - West, you are a pathy. We believe nothing. 24 00:00:55,781 --> 00:00:57,324 - I do still have love for Amanda, 25 00:00:57,424 --> 00:00:59,885 and I do still care for her, and I am very concerned. 26 00:00:59,952 --> 00:01:01,853 - The concern about me being, like, 27 00:01:01,954 --> 00:01:04,064 the worst person to risk all of this 28 00:01:04,164 --> 00:01:06,124 makes total sense. 29 00:01:06,224 --> 00:01:08,694 - I couldn't fathom that I would be sitting here, 30 00:01:08,794 --> 00:01:10,971 pissed that you're ----ing my ex. 31 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:13,941 - I will walk away from this set today 32 00:01:14,041 --> 00:01:17,077 and do a lot of thinking, and a lot of reflecting. 33 00:01:18,236 --> 00:01:20,347 - Andy, I didn't learn anything. 34 00:01:20,447 --> 00:01:21,348 - I'm walking away knowing less 35 00:01:21,381 --> 00:01:22,849 than what I came in knowing. - Yeah. 36 00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:25,619 - All we wanna talk about is to get clarity. 37 00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:27,654 And you guys came to the table with, 38 00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:30,857 "Well, we have a lot to think about after today." 39 00:01:30,958 --> 00:01:32,092 - Should we start over? 40 00:01:33,577 --> 00:01:36,930 - Tonight, on Summer House: The Aftermath. 41 00:01:36,997 --> 00:01:39,466 - So, West was, like, highly pursuing you. 42 00:01:39,566 --> 00:01:41,535 This is the sh-- that I wanted to hear 43 00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:43,136 at this reunion! 44 00:01:43,236 --> 00:01:46,239 - Wait, time out. How long have you had feelings 45 00:01:46,373 --> 00:01:49,810 for her, beyond friendship? 46 00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:51,378 - A lot of our conversations 47 00:01:51,478 --> 00:01:53,880 are now, like, over a phone call 48 00:01:54,014 --> 00:01:55,015 because of her. 49 00:01:55,182 --> 00:02:01,788 ♪♪ 50 00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:09,963 ♪♪ 51 00:02:13,367 --> 00:02:27,347 ♪♪ 52 00:02:27,447 --> 00:02:30,917 [knock on door] - Come in! 53 00:02:31,051 --> 00:02:32,352 - Knock, knock. 54 00:02:32,452 --> 00:02:33,854 - Shoes off, please. 55 00:02:33,954 --> 00:02:35,656 - Got you. 56 00:02:38,525 --> 00:02:39,893 Where are you? 57 00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:42,229 - I was just cleaning. 58 00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:44,431 Do you want some rosé? 59 00:02:44,531 --> 00:02:47,067 Oh, you brought. 60 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,536 Oh, two. That's so interesting. 61 00:02:49,636 --> 00:02:51,738 I got two, too. I started. 62 00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:55,275 - I thought I'd do a throwback to our OG rosé. 63 00:02:55,375 --> 00:02:57,411 - Well, I know you love rosé. 64 00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,279 - Oh, I appreciate it. 65 00:02:59,379 --> 00:03:00,972 Now we have four bottles. 66 00:03:01,073 --> 00:03:03,250 - Well, we might need 'em. - Yeah. 67 00:03:03,316 --> 00:03:06,119 - Do you want ice? - Yeah, maybe a little bit. 68 00:03:06,219 --> 00:03:07,788 - Wanna little fruit pouch? - I'm good. 69 00:03:07,954 --> 00:03:08,889 - A teether? - I'm okay. 70 00:03:08,989 --> 00:03:10,924 - Something to gnaw on? - Probably. 71 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:13,593 Maybe at some point. I'll let you know. 72 00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:14,961 Thank you. 73 00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:17,998 - How you doin', girl? Girl, Girl, girl... 74 00:03:18,131 --> 00:03:20,600 We got lots to talk about. - I'm like-- Yeah. 75 00:03:20,667 --> 00:03:23,070 We sure ----ing do. 76 00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:25,072 Where's miss Gemma? 77 00:03:25,172 --> 00:03:28,166 - She's makin' friends. Little social butterfly. 78 00:03:28,266 --> 00:03:29,109 - Yeah. 79 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:31,545 Well, thanks for agreeing to talk with me. 80 00:03:31,611 --> 00:03:34,448 I feel like, obviously, 81 00:03:34,514 --> 00:03:38,452 the reunion was not, like, 82 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:39,986 the focus wasn't on, like, us, 83 00:03:40,087 --> 00:03:41,421 or our friendship either. 84 00:03:41,521 --> 00:03:43,023 And it was also just like a sh-- show. 85 00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:46,827 And, like I said to you in our text, like... 86 00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:48,887 our friendship is so important to me too. 87 00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:52,165 And I know that my actions have hurt so many people 88 00:03:52,299 --> 00:03:56,770 beyond what I even thought was, like, comprehendable. 89 00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:59,840 So I just wanted to, like, chat with you and... 90 00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:01,641 - Yeah. - ...answer questions... 91 00:04:01,708 --> 00:04:02,642 - No, and I appreciate reaching out. 92 00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:05,846 - ...get to a place where, like, yeah. 93 00:04:06,012 --> 00:04:06,980 - I do. And like, you-- 94 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,515 I know you reached out like, 95 00:04:08,615 --> 00:04:11,184 the day your announcement went out 96 00:04:11,318 --> 00:04:13,979 and I, I obviously, like, appreciate that. 97 00:04:14,079 --> 00:04:17,215 And it's a ----ing tough position to be in. 98 00:04:17,315 --> 00:04:18,692 - Yeah. 99 00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:20,360 - Sometimes I'm like, I have a lot to say, 100 00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:22,028 sometimes I don't know what to say. 101 00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:24,498 And like, we're all like, 102 00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:26,266 I'm moving at the speed of light right now and... 103 00:04:26,366 --> 00:04:28,835 - Yeah. 104 00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:32,230 - This was a big one. 105 00:04:32,330 --> 00:04:33,874 - Yeah. 106 00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:36,543 - Despite all of our up and downs in our friendship, 107 00:04:36,643 --> 00:04:37,210 we got really close over the last year. 108 00:04:37,377 --> 00:04:38,545 - Yeah. 109 00:04:38,578 --> 00:04:40,981 - And we do have a very sisterly relationship. 110 00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:44,151 And you need a big sister right now. 111 00:04:44,251 --> 00:04:46,119 And it's like, I don't think you have 112 00:04:46,186 --> 00:04:47,888 anyone in your life who's like, 113 00:04:48,054 --> 00:04:52,559 willing to give you the hard truth 114 00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:54,728 and, like, the tough love 115 00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:57,030 and like, this is those moments. 116 00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:59,332 Like, have you watched the episodes yet? 117 00:04:59,432 --> 00:05:00,634 - I haven't. And... 118 00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:02,068 - You have not? - No. 119 00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:04,070 - When you watch back the scenes of Ciara 120 00:05:04,204 --> 00:05:06,523 being a supportive friend to you, 121 00:05:06,623 --> 00:05:08,909 how did that feel watching it back? 122 00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:10,377 - I haven't been watching the show, 123 00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:11,912 but I know that she has been. 124 00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:13,647 I watched past seasons. 125 00:05:15,081 --> 00:05:15,941 - It's tough. It's uncomfortable. 126 00:05:16,041 --> 00:05:17,142 - Yeah. 127 00:05:17,209 --> 00:05:18,919 Well, like, not that anything was happening. 128 00:05:19,085 --> 00:05:21,646 Like, that's not why I can't watch. 129 00:05:21,780 --> 00:05:26,318 It's more that, like, I... I'm off the Internet. 130 00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:27,894 Like, I'm not on social media. 131 00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:29,729 I'm like, staying away from all that 132 00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:33,900 to try to protect my own mental health. 133 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,068 Watching it, knowing, 134 00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:36,436 like, what people are gonna look for, 135 00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:37,637 what people are gonna say. 136 00:05:37,771 --> 00:05:41,233 Like that anxiousness, like, I just had to... 137 00:05:41,333 --> 00:05:42,876 I had to stop. 138 00:05:42,976 --> 00:05:44,411 - I know, but I think, like, 139 00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:48,415 you and West made a very adult decision. 140 00:05:48,481 --> 00:05:50,717 - Yeah. - And now, you have to deal 141 00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:52,652 with the very adult consequences... 142 00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:53,620 - 100%. 143 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:54,888 - ...that come with that. - Yes. 144 00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:56,790 - And you can't just be the ostrich 145 00:05:56,923 --> 00:05:58,592 that puts your head in the sand 146 00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,585 and pretends it didn't happen. 147 00:06:00,685 --> 00:06:03,597 You have to go through it. You can't go around it. 148 00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,232 - No, I know. - You can't go over it. 149 00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:07,250 - I am going through it and I feel it every day. 150 00:06:07,350 --> 00:06:09,569 - I know, but Amanda, like, you're not... 151 00:06:09,669 --> 00:06:10,637 You're not, though. 152 00:06:10,737 --> 00:06:12,472 - I made some poor decisions, 153 00:06:12,572 --> 00:06:13,740 but it's like, 154 00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:17,944 I was in such a sh---y relationship. 155 00:06:18,011 --> 00:06:19,813 - A hundred percent. - Awful. 156 00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:21,940 Lost myself completely. 157 00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:23,750 Didn't recognize myself anymore. 158 00:06:23,850 --> 00:06:25,485 Was like, a shell of myself. 159 00:06:25,585 --> 00:06:28,321 I just wasn't me anymore. 160 00:06:28,421 --> 00:06:31,216 And going out, 161 00:06:31,349 --> 00:06:33,994 like, I felt just, like, 162 00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:36,721 young and, like, in my 20s 163 00:06:36,855 --> 00:06:38,465 and, like, fun again. 164 00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:41,101 And I think maybe I confused, 165 00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:43,336 like, going out with West 166 00:06:43,470 --> 00:06:45,505 and, like, falling in love with myself again 167 00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:50,277 and, like, remembering who I am with, like, feelings. 168 00:06:50,377 --> 00:06:52,245 Hanging out with him and his friends 169 00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:53,546 brought out a side of me that, like, 170 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,307 I never thought I would see again. 171 00:06:55,407 --> 00:06:57,851 Like, this person that, like, wanted to have fun, 172 00:06:57,951 --> 00:07:02,122 wanted to go out, like, loved life again, 173 00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:06,893 didn't feel lost and alone and scared anymore. 174 00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:10,930 Like, I felt such a euphoric feeling. 175 00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:16,069 It was hard to, like, think rationally, 176 00:07:16,202 --> 00:07:19,597 or logically, through any of that. 177 00:07:19,731 --> 00:07:24,311 - Listen, there is validity to what you're saying, right? 178 00:07:24,411 --> 00:07:25,378 - Yeah. - Like... 179 00:07:25,478 --> 00:07:28,381 we literally have all felt that 180 00:07:28,481 --> 00:07:31,418 in different ways post-breakup. 181 00:07:31,551 --> 00:07:32,686 - Yeah. 182 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:39,225 - But that does not excuse going for the one guy 183 00:07:39,392 --> 00:07:43,730 that has broken Ciara's heart multiple times 184 00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:45,165 and then got it back... 185 00:07:45,265 --> 00:07:46,533 and then broke it, and got it back... 186 00:07:46,599 --> 00:07:48,626 And broke it and got it back. 187 00:07:48,693 --> 00:07:50,136 - Yeah. 188 00:07:52,364 --> 00:07:56,801 I didn't go for him. He pursued me. 189 00:07:56,868 --> 00:07:58,545 - Okay, well, he described, 190 00:07:58,611 --> 00:08:03,083 at P.J. Clarke's, he said it was you. 191 00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:06,277 So you both are saying, like... 192 00:08:06,378 --> 00:08:08,088 - What did he say? 193 00:08:08,254 --> 00:08:11,024 - He told Ciara that you were the one obsessed with him 194 00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:13,193 and that you were the one who's, like, 195 00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:14,995 you know, has a crush on him 196 00:08:15,061 --> 00:08:17,263 and that nothing physical had happened at that point. 197 00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:18,765 And that was March 6th. 198 00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:20,300 - He said I had a crush on him? 199 00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:21,226 - Yeah. 200 00:08:21,326 --> 00:08:22,168 - And I was obsessed with him. 201 00:08:22,268 --> 00:08:24,896 - Yeah. 202 00:08:24,996 --> 00:08:26,506 - That's such ----ing bullsh--. 203 00:08:32,278 --> 00:08:36,608 ♪♪ 204 00:08:36,674 --> 00:08:38,151 - He said I had a crush on him? 205 00:08:38,284 --> 00:08:39,110 - Yeah. 206 00:08:39,177 --> 00:08:39,819 - And I was obsessed with him. 207 00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:41,621 - Yeah. 208 00:08:41,721 --> 00:08:43,957 - That's such ----ing bullsh--. 209 00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:46,626 - This is exactly my ----ing point, Amanda. 210 00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:48,795 This is what this man... 211 00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,830 - That's funny. - Goes around saying. 212 00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:54,259 - No. He was actively texting me to hang out 213 00:08:54,359 --> 00:08:57,429 all the time, and I would always say no. 214 00:08:57,529 --> 00:08:59,005 - Give- Give me these details. 215 00:08:59,105 --> 00:09:01,374 - Like that... - Like, this is the sh-- that I wanted to hear 216 00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:02,609 at this reunion. - Yeah. 217 00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:05,336 - That I was like, can someone explain 218 00:09:05,437 --> 00:09:07,814 any of this to me? Like, how did this happen? 219 00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:12,177 - No, he, like-- - So West was, like, highly pursuing you. 220 00:09:12,277 --> 00:09:13,720 - It would be, like, in group text 221 00:09:13,853 --> 00:09:15,922 and, like, come meet up with, like, our friends, 222 00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:18,358 like, you and so come here. 223 00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:20,727 And I would always say, no. 224 00:09:20,860 --> 00:09:22,787 It was never just, like, me and him hanging out. 225 00:09:22,887 --> 00:09:23,863 It would always be, like, 226 00:09:23,963 --> 00:09:25,498 group situations, group settings. 227 00:09:25,598 --> 00:09:26,566 Come watch the game here. 228 00:09:26,699 --> 00:09:28,393 Come like-- he would invite other people, too. 229 00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:30,103 Like, it wasn't just me. 230 00:09:31,196 --> 00:09:32,397 And then there was, like, that one time, 231 00:09:32,497 --> 00:09:35,375 I guess Ciara saw me at his apartment. 232 00:09:35,475 --> 00:09:36,568 - January 17th. 233 00:09:36,668 --> 00:09:40,246 - Yes. Which was... 234 00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:42,073 Which was, again, 235 00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:43,850 him being, like, "Come over for the game." 236 00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:45,018 Like, it was in a group text 237 00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:46,052 with, like, other people. 238 00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:47,512 We were there, we had, like, pizza. 239 00:09:47,579 --> 00:09:49,747 Like, it was weird in my mind. 240 00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:51,257 I was like, I don't know why we're here. 241 00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:52,350 Like, this is weird. 242 00:09:52,417 --> 00:09:54,586 Like, why we're not out. Whatever. 243 00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:58,198 And then, like, the split announcement comes out. 244 00:09:58,298 --> 00:09:59,899 I'm, like, in a different head space where I'm like, 245 00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:01,334 okay, like, I need to meet people. 246 00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:02,494 Like, I need to get out. 247 00:10:02,594 --> 00:10:03,403 Like, I can't be, like, 248 00:10:03,503 --> 00:10:04,596 sitting in my apartment anymore. 249 00:10:04,696 --> 00:10:06,272 I can't be, like, saying no. 250 00:10:06,372 --> 00:10:07,265 So then, like, West would be like, 251 00:10:07,365 --> 00:10:08,274 "We're going here. We're doing this." 252 00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:11,436 Like, come-- I'm like, okay, yes, yes, yes. 253 00:10:11,536 --> 00:10:14,714 And then when he brought up that, like, 254 00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,107 is there something happening? 255 00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:18,251 It's like, this, like, door opened, and I'm like, 256 00:10:18,384 --> 00:10:19,953 wait, what the (BLEEP) is going on? 257 00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:23,615 Like, are these feelings more than just, like, 258 00:10:23,715 --> 00:10:25,083 enjoying hanging out with him, like, 259 00:10:25,183 --> 00:10:28,061 as a friend and, like, having fun? 260 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,288 - So he manipulated you. 261 00:10:30,388 --> 00:10:31,556 - That's not what-- 262 00:10:31,623 --> 00:10:33,733 Those are not my words, but... 263 00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:35,059 - Those are my words. - Okay. 264 00:10:35,126 --> 00:10:37,604 - I'm happy to own them. - Okay. 265 00:10:37,704 --> 00:10:39,606 - Absolutely. - But that's what happened. 266 00:10:39,706 --> 00:10:40,807 And then it was-- 267 00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:42,066 - But this is what he does to all these girls. 268 00:10:42,133 --> 00:10:45,270 - And it was just conversation. 269 00:10:45,370 --> 00:10:47,906 There was nothing physical going on. 270 00:10:47,972 --> 00:10:50,250 And I-- We'd text and we'd talk about it. 271 00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:51,643 And I'd be like, this, 272 00:10:51,743 --> 00:10:53,286 like, what the (BLEEP) is happening? 273 00:10:53,419 --> 00:10:54,387 Like, I-- 274 00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:57,048 - But why didn't you shut it down then? 275 00:10:57,148 --> 00:11:00,919 Why not at that point say, no, 276 00:11:00,985 --> 00:11:03,329 I'm not doing that to Ciara. - Because it felt so-- 277 00:11:03,429 --> 00:11:07,333 Because I was so selfish and so focused on, like, 278 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,002 my happiness and, like, 279 00:11:09,068 --> 00:11:11,563 feeling good for the first time. 280 00:11:11,663 --> 00:11:12,664 Like, it was-- 281 00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:16,643 It overwhelmed me, this feeling of just, like... 282 00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:19,512 Just, like, someone caring about me. 283 00:11:19,579 --> 00:11:21,281 - Yeah, but so many people care about you. 284 00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:23,483 - A guy. - A man. 285 00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:25,009 - A guy. Like I-- 286 00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:26,186 - With a little wee-wee. 287 00:11:26,319 --> 00:11:28,855 [laughing] 288 00:11:28,922 --> 00:11:30,014 - I... 289 00:11:30,114 --> 00:11:31,791 - Sorry, I gotta throw some sort of, 290 00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:34,194 you know, jokes in there. - No, it's fair. 291 00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:35,353 - I've got the nude. 292 00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:37,297 - Am I hard? 293 00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:40,066 - No. Soft. Flaccid. - Very soft. 294 00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:45,471 - It's me. 295 00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:47,165 - I mean, what was your biggest takeaway 296 00:11:47,265 --> 00:11:49,042 from that reunion? 297 00:11:49,108 --> 00:11:50,702 Or, like, in... in it? 298 00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:52,879 - I honestly, like... 299 00:11:57,809 --> 00:12:01,287 don't remember much. 300 00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:04,557 Just because 301 00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:07,860 when I... 302 00:12:07,994 --> 00:12:10,396 get yelled at like that, 303 00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:12,890 I retreat and I shut down... - Mm-hmm. 304 00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:15,627 - ...and I disassociate. - Right. 305 00:12:15,727 --> 00:12:17,362 - From-- I mean, that's how, like, 306 00:12:17,462 --> 00:12:19,230 I got through most of my marriage. 307 00:12:19,330 --> 00:12:21,065 Um... - Totally. 308 00:12:21,165 --> 00:12:23,676 - But, like, I married Kyle 309 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,136 thinking that, like, this is the person 310 00:12:25,236 --> 00:12:27,046 I was gonna spend the rest of my life with. 311 00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:28,047 - Right. - Like... 312 00:12:28,147 --> 00:12:30,416 I wanted to have kids with Kyle. 313 00:12:30,516 --> 00:12:32,744 I wanted to have a family with Kyle. 314 00:12:32,844 --> 00:12:34,554 And, like, when that realization hit, 315 00:12:34,687 --> 00:12:35,713 like, that wasn't happening. 316 00:12:35,813 --> 00:12:37,256 It was, like, very hard to, like, 317 00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:38,650 stomach and swallow and whatever. 318 00:12:38,750 --> 00:12:39,826 And I just think, like, 319 00:12:39,892 --> 00:12:42,195 getting that attention from West, I felt like, 320 00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:44,097 "Oh, maybe this is my person." 321 00:12:44,230 --> 00:12:45,765 Like, we start as friends, 322 00:12:45,898 --> 00:12:47,967 like now-- like, we get along so well. 323 00:12:48,034 --> 00:12:49,502 Like, there's these feelings here. 324 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:50,762 Like, he cares about me. 325 00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:52,372 Like, he's saying all the right things. 326 00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:54,774 Like, I was like, afraid, 327 00:12:54,907 --> 00:12:56,943 that like, I'd be alone for the rest of my life. 328 00:12:58,878 --> 00:13:03,207 Like, I felt unlovable for so long. 329 00:13:03,274 --> 00:13:06,552 - I know, but you have to work on self-love 330 00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:08,421 and self-worth. 331 00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:12,684 You are getting your self-worth from Kyle, 332 00:13:12,784 --> 00:13:14,093 or lack thereof. 333 00:13:14,193 --> 00:13:16,796 And that like, ruined you. 334 00:13:16,929 --> 00:13:19,766 And now you're doing it again with another guy, 335 00:13:19,899 --> 00:13:22,135 hoping that this guy is the reason 336 00:13:22,268 --> 00:13:24,304 you have self-love. 337 00:13:27,073 --> 00:13:29,142 - Yeah. 338 00:13:29,208 --> 00:13:33,705 - And you have to learn how to do that on your own. 339 00:13:33,805 --> 00:13:37,216 - And I think I was getting it confused. 340 00:13:37,316 --> 00:13:40,987 - Why would like you choose... 341 00:13:42,113 --> 00:13:43,815 ...to go for this guy? 342 00:13:43,915 --> 00:13:44,982 Like, you didn't think you can get that 343 00:13:45,083 --> 00:13:46,359 from any other guy? 344 00:13:49,095 --> 00:13:51,064 He is not God's gift to this earth. - No. 345 00:13:51,197 --> 00:13:55,001 - And I can tell you, I can promise you, 346 00:13:55,134 --> 00:13:58,071 all he does is manipulate women everywhere he goes 347 00:13:58,171 --> 00:13:59,639 to fall in love with him 348 00:13:59,772 --> 00:14:02,241 because of the way he touches you, 349 00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:03,643 caresses you. 350 00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:05,778 You haven't been touched like that in a while. 351 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:08,815 And all of a sudden you feel, like, a tingle in your body, 352 00:14:08,948 --> 00:14:10,016 and you're like, "Oh!" - It's not even that. 353 00:14:10,116 --> 00:14:12,076 - "Oh, hello." - It was-- 354 00:14:12,176 --> 00:14:14,754 - It is that. - It's-it's conversations. 355 00:14:14,887 --> 00:14:18,624 - I mean, have you and West talked about, like... 356 00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:20,727 the future? 357 00:14:21,961 --> 00:14:23,262 - Partly. 358 00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:25,765 Which is what's, like, so ----ing crazy, 359 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:28,659 because, like, I-- - And what do you talk about? 360 00:14:30,636 --> 00:14:33,673 - I've-- I knew the severity and the gravity 361 00:14:33,773 --> 00:14:34,674 of the situation, and I was like, 362 00:14:34,807 --> 00:14:37,210 okay, like, if you really care about me, like, 363 00:14:37,343 --> 00:14:38,811 if what you're saying is true, like, 364 00:14:38,911 --> 00:14:43,040 if this is how you actually feel, like... 365 00:14:43,174 --> 00:14:45,042 this couldn't be casual. 366 00:14:45,176 --> 00:14:46,444 You'd have to see a future. 367 00:14:46,544 --> 00:14:50,348 Like, you'd have to know that, like, I would, like-- 368 00:14:50,448 --> 00:14:52,692 would want to have kids, like, soon. 369 00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:54,786 I'm not-- we haven't talked about having kids, 370 00:14:54,886 --> 00:14:56,929 but, like, I've had these conversations 371 00:14:56,996 --> 00:15:00,366 where I'm like, this is my life, and, like, 372 00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:03,628 if I'm your friend and, like, you have these, 373 00:15:03,728 --> 00:15:06,272 like, feelings for me, you need to be aware about-- 374 00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:07,899 of all this stuff. 375 00:15:07,999 --> 00:15:10,168 We've had conversations about this, 376 00:15:10,234 --> 00:15:14,205 which is also why I felt, like, safe in it. 377 00:15:14,305 --> 00:15:17,742 - You know how many boyfriends I've talked to 378 00:15:17,842 --> 00:15:20,386 about marriage and kids? - I haven't-- 379 00:15:20,486 --> 00:15:22,855 - Literally every boyfriend I've ever had. 380 00:15:22,955 --> 00:15:27,752 - I haven't dated since I was 24 years old. 381 00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:30,054 Like... - So then why don't you do that? 382 00:15:30,154 --> 00:15:32,064 - I know. 'Cause-- 383 00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:33,766 - That's what you should be doing right now. 384 00:15:33,866 --> 00:15:35,493 - There's also just-- yeah. - Is to under-- 385 00:15:35,593 --> 00:15:37,929 Get the life experience so you don't make 386 00:15:38,029 --> 00:15:40,331 these ----ed up decisions that are gonna mess up 387 00:15:40,431 --> 00:15:42,675 your entire ----ing life. 388 00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:45,278 ♪♪ 389 00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:49,031 West, he's already out there embarrassing you. 390 00:15:50,575 --> 00:15:53,586 You know who he's on the phone with this morning? 391 00:15:53,686 --> 00:15:55,354 Meija! 392 00:15:55,454 --> 00:15:57,181 Why is he calling Meija today? 393 00:15:57,281 --> 00:15:59,859 'Cause he's so scared about what's gonna come out. 394 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,762 - She's gonna say, yeah. 395 00:16:02,895 --> 00:16:05,756 - He ----ed Meija in March. 396 00:16:05,857 --> 00:16:07,300 - Mm-hmm. 397 00:16:10,269 --> 00:16:12,129 - He cheated on you. 398 00:16:12,263 --> 00:16:15,107 And cheated on her. - Yeah. 399 00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:17,301 - And somehow in this, like, you're the other woman. 400 00:16:17,435 --> 00:16:20,480 - Yeah. No. 401 00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:23,416 - This guy is ----ing you up. - That's why it's-- yeah. 402 00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:26,752 Which I'm now realizing. - Are you, though? 403 00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:27,812 - That's not something that I realized-- 404 00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:29,989 - I feel like you're not. - I am. I have-- 405 00:16:30,122 --> 00:16:34,293 I wake up with, like, the most anxiety 406 00:16:34,393 --> 00:16:37,964 about how I've, like, ----ed up my whole entire life 407 00:16:38,064 --> 00:16:40,224 every single day. 408 00:16:40,324 --> 00:16:44,170 - Like, imagine ----ing up so bad that we all forgot 409 00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:46,839 how bad of a husband Kyle was to you. 410 00:16:46,939 --> 00:16:47,907 - Yeah. 411 00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,400 - Like, you blew up your ----ing life. 412 00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:51,344 - No, I-- - When you were winning! 413 00:16:53,004 --> 00:16:55,514 I hope that makes you angry. - No. Yeah. 414 00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:59,085 I'm-- I am having a lot of feelings. 415 00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:01,654 The tears are not just, like, sadness. 416 00:17:01,787 --> 00:17:02,922 [sighing] 417 00:17:02,989 --> 00:17:05,616 It's like, what's, like, so hard to, like, stomach 418 00:17:05,683 --> 00:17:08,027 and process... 419 00:17:08,094 --> 00:17:10,821 'Cause I just want to be, like... 420 00:17:10,922 --> 00:17:12,298 - Loved. - Yeah. 421 00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:15,368 And, like, it sucks that, like, I fought for that 422 00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:18,337 for so long with Kyle, and, like, I just, like, 423 00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:21,407 felt it so much for West. 424 00:17:23,467 --> 00:17:27,313 I just feel like really ----ing stupid. 425 00:17:27,413 --> 00:17:30,207 - To be honest, you should feel stupid. 426 00:17:30,341 --> 00:17:31,550 And the only way to save yourself 427 00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:33,886 in this moment is to separate yourself 428 00:17:33,953 --> 00:17:36,856 from the sinking ship that West Wilson is. 429 00:17:36,989 --> 00:17:38,457 Be the Rose on the Titanic. 430 00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,885 [chuckling] 431 00:17:40,985 --> 00:17:43,487 Let go of the hand. 432 00:17:43,554 --> 00:17:45,356 He's gotta go. 433 00:17:49,335 --> 00:17:51,320 - I know. 434 00:17:56,400 --> 00:18:02,448 ♪♪ 435 00:18:08,579 --> 00:18:14,018 ♪♪ 436 00:18:14,085 --> 00:18:16,262 [dog barking] 437 00:18:25,288 --> 00:18:31,944 ♪♪ 438 00:18:32,011 --> 00:18:33,713 [dog barking] - Hey, sorry, sorry, sorry. 439 00:18:33,813 --> 00:18:34,880 I know better. 440 00:18:34,981 --> 00:18:37,216 [dog barking] 441 00:18:37,350 --> 00:18:39,518 - Have you ever been here? - No. 442 00:18:39,585 --> 00:18:42,421 - You've never been here. - This is my first time. 443 00:18:42,521 --> 00:18:44,090 What's your-- where's your spot? 444 00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:45,791 - Doesn't matter. 445 00:18:47,326 --> 00:18:49,128 - Hey, you gotta chill. 446 00:18:50,354 --> 00:18:52,698 [dog barking] It's okay. I'll go-- 447 00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:55,334 Can she-- can she sense I'm stressed? 448 00:18:58,462 --> 00:19:00,139 Good icebreaker. 449 00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:05,745 - It's so weird, 'cause she obviously knows you. 450 00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:08,014 Which is also just weird to me. 451 00:19:09,515 --> 00:19:11,050 Yeah, I, uh-- 452 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:14,687 Listen, I know it's awkward. 453 00:19:14,787 --> 00:19:17,990 You know, it's almost, like, a feeling I can't describe. 454 00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:20,192 Am I supposed to be supportive here? 455 00:19:20,292 --> 00:19:23,379 Am I supposed to punch you in the face 456 00:19:23,479 --> 00:19:26,265 and ask how could you? Like, I don't know. 457 00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:27,566 - It is weird. I won't-- 458 00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:29,535 I'm not gonna, like, act like it's not. 459 00:19:29,635 --> 00:19:32,204 - But I want you to know I don't have a game plan. 460 00:19:32,304 --> 00:19:36,342 Like, I know you texted me weeks ago 461 00:19:36,409 --> 00:19:38,210 saying you wanted to chat. 462 00:19:38,310 --> 00:19:39,712 I don't want you thinking I'm, like-- 463 00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:42,415 There's gonna be these gotcha moments. 464 00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:46,318 Like, personally, I just kind of felt like 465 00:19:46,452 --> 00:19:49,180 so much of our life has been public. 466 00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:51,582 - Yeah. - That, if we're gonna have a convo, 467 00:19:51,682 --> 00:19:53,459 we might as well film it. - I-- 468 00:19:53,559 --> 00:19:56,754 - Like, I'm not-- I don't have, like, this agenda. 469 00:19:56,854 --> 00:19:57,663 - Me, neither. 470 00:19:57,797 --> 00:19:59,999 I suggested off, because I figured-- 471 00:20:00,132 --> 00:20:02,935 and, like, this won't make it, but, like, my... 472 00:20:03,002 --> 00:20:05,738 [chuckling] ...time on camera's over, 473 00:20:05,838 --> 00:20:07,606 and I didn't want you think I was just trying to, like-- 474 00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:09,475 I think people, when you do a bad job 475 00:20:09,608 --> 00:20:11,577 at the reunion, 476 00:20:11,677 --> 00:20:14,313 I think people, or in my experience, 477 00:20:14,413 --> 00:20:16,674 anything I've done following it publicly 478 00:20:16,774 --> 00:20:18,284 has landed poorly. 479 00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:21,487 And so I didn't want you to think I, like, 480 00:20:21,654 --> 00:20:22,955 waited until the reunion was over and then, like, 481 00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:24,490 gathered myself, and then was, like, oh, 482 00:20:24,623 --> 00:20:26,016 let's film a scene together kind of thing. 483 00:20:26,117 --> 00:20:28,219 - Yeah. 484 00:20:28,285 --> 00:20:31,030 - The processing and, like, slowing down, and sort of, 485 00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:33,833 like, soaking it all in didn't really happen 486 00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:36,502 until the last two weeks. 487 00:20:36,635 --> 00:20:37,503 Um... 488 00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:39,472 - Was that just post-reunion, or-- 489 00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:41,574 - Post-reunion and post, just adrenaline-- 490 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:43,442 I mean, when this all hap-- like, everything 491 00:20:43,542 --> 00:20:45,344 was a such a ----ing disaster tornado, 492 00:20:45,511 --> 00:20:47,630 and... [sighing] 493 00:20:47,730 --> 00:20:49,849 There's so many layers to this, but, like, 494 00:20:50,015 --> 00:20:54,186 the friendship part of this, uh, has been... 495 00:20:54,286 --> 00:20:56,522 really hard to process. 496 00:20:56,622 --> 00:20:59,291 To watch it fully implode with other people 497 00:20:59,391 --> 00:21:01,719 who you care about, who I care about, 498 00:21:01,819 --> 00:21:03,562 um, ----ing sucks. 499 00:21:03,662 --> 00:21:04,997 And, like-- when you posted that video of us 500 00:21:05,064 --> 00:21:06,599 ----ing playing basketball... 501 00:21:13,572 --> 00:21:14,640 [cheering] 502 00:21:14,740 --> 00:21:16,108 [laughing] 503 00:21:16,208 --> 00:21:18,310 It's-it's really ----ing hard to know 504 00:21:18,410 --> 00:21:22,014 that something special, like, I ----ing super fractured. 505 00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:25,484 - I mean, it sucks. - Yeah. 506 00:21:25,584 --> 00:21:28,220 - There was a bond, 507 00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:29,955 and we gelled. 508 00:21:30,055 --> 00:21:31,582 And then it was just, like, woah. 509 00:21:31,682 --> 00:21:34,018 Like, if West is lying about this, 510 00:21:34,118 --> 00:21:35,753 and lying about this, and lying about this, like, 511 00:21:35,853 --> 00:21:38,330 where does that leave us? 512 00:21:38,430 --> 00:21:40,399 And it kind of puts people in an awkward spot that, like, 513 00:21:40,499 --> 00:21:43,427 I don't even-- 514 00:21:43,527 --> 00:21:45,104 - Yeah. 515 00:21:45,204 --> 00:21:48,174 Yeah, I mean, clearly, if I could go back, 516 00:21:48,274 --> 00:21:50,976 would do a lot of things differently, 517 00:21:51,043 --> 00:21:53,529 but I lied to you, I lied to Ciara, 518 00:21:53,629 --> 00:21:56,515 I lied to Mia, I lied to Lindsay. 519 00:21:56,615 --> 00:22:01,145 Well, I lied to Jesse, and I, I mean, hopefully, 520 00:22:01,278 --> 00:22:02,354 a little more time has passed 521 00:22:02,454 --> 00:22:05,958 and, like, I hope you hear me out, but, like, 522 00:22:06,091 --> 00:22:08,494 I get why my word now is... 523 00:22:10,321 --> 00:22:13,123 ...discredited in a lot of regard. 524 00:22:13,224 --> 00:22:16,435 But I am here today to, like, obviously have 525 00:22:16,535 --> 00:22:18,629 an honest conversation with you. 526 00:22:18,729 --> 00:22:20,973 - Well, I appreciate it, and look, for me, it's-- 527 00:22:21,106 --> 00:22:24,243 there's the friendship of it all on one side, 528 00:22:24,310 --> 00:22:26,645 and then there's Amanda and the fact that, like, 529 00:22:26,779 --> 00:22:28,514 no matter what, I will still care about her. 530 00:22:28,614 --> 00:22:31,951 There's still love there, and I'm-I'm worried. 531 00:22:32,051 --> 00:22:33,344 - Yeah, no, I get that. 532 00:22:33,477 --> 00:22:37,756 Um, do you want full honesty 533 00:22:37,857 --> 00:22:40,593 even though it could be possibly hurtful today? 534 00:22:40,759 --> 00:22:46,282 ♪♪ 535 00:22:51,262 --> 00:22:56,141 ♪♪ 536 00:22:56,242 --> 00:23:00,279 - Do you want full honesty even though it could be 537 00:23:00,412 --> 00:23:02,748 possibly hurtful today? 538 00:23:06,285 --> 00:23:07,519 - Yes. 539 00:23:07,620 --> 00:23:08,812 Because at this point, it's like, 540 00:23:08,946 --> 00:23:11,123 there's no reason to lie. 541 00:23:11,223 --> 00:23:12,650 - Right, because that's not my intention at all. 542 00:23:12,716 --> 00:23:14,493 - Well, even, like, you know, I-I convinced Amanda 543 00:23:14,593 --> 00:23:16,662 not to do the podcast that she literally was about 544 00:23:16,729 --> 00:23:17,496 to hop on a flight to. 545 00:23:17,596 --> 00:23:19,131 I'm like... - Yeah. 546 00:23:19,198 --> 00:23:21,000 - I'm like, A, you haven't watched the season, 547 00:23:21,100 --> 00:23:23,269 B, we haven't seen the reunion. 548 00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:27,698 How can you-- if this is, like, a speak your truth moment, 549 00:23:27,798 --> 00:23:30,409 what are you doing it on? 550 00:23:30,509 --> 00:23:32,511 I mean, I'm like-- and I don't know. 551 00:23:32,611 --> 00:23:35,164 Have you watched, like, the second half 552 00:23:35,230 --> 00:23:36,482 of the season? - Mm-mmm. 553 00:23:36,582 --> 00:23:38,008 - You haven't. - No, I will. 554 00:23:38,075 --> 00:23:40,377 But it was more just to-- and that honestly 555 00:23:40,511 --> 00:23:41,754 kind of leads into-- 556 00:23:41,854 --> 00:23:43,480 - 'Cause I really feel like you guys need to. 557 00:23:43,580 --> 00:23:45,457 - No, I agree. - And just, like, 558 00:23:45,591 --> 00:23:47,351 the amount of, like-- 559 00:23:47,484 --> 00:23:51,088 If I'm being honest, the amount of... 560 00:23:51,221 --> 00:23:55,167 Like, the-the things that you did to kind of lure 561 00:23:55,234 --> 00:23:57,636 Ciara back in. Like, they-- 562 00:23:57,770 --> 00:24:01,473 Sometimes it is so blatant on screen. 563 00:24:03,734 --> 00:24:07,446 You know, you-- it makes people like me and, shoot, 564 00:24:07,546 --> 00:24:10,049 the rest of the audience wonder, like, what's-- 565 00:24:10,149 --> 00:24:11,533 what are your intentions? 566 00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:14,219 There are moments where you-- it's an extra, extra, 567 00:24:14,353 --> 00:24:15,579 extra long hug. 568 00:24:15,679 --> 00:24:18,290 There's... sensual touching. 569 00:24:19,958 --> 00:24:21,210 - Come here. 570 00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:30,361 - And you don't need to be a genius 571 00:24:30,461 --> 00:24:31,770 to see and realize that, like, 572 00:24:31,870 --> 00:24:35,057 Ciara still has feelings for you. 573 00:24:35,124 --> 00:24:37,309 You're a very touchy guy. - Yeah. 574 00:24:37,409 --> 00:24:41,146 - There's times when I watch last summer back, 575 00:24:41,246 --> 00:24:43,749 and it makes me uncomfortable with how touchy you are 576 00:24:43,849 --> 00:24:45,050 with Amanda. - Mm-hmm. 577 00:24:45,117 --> 00:24:46,685 - Knowing that we were full on married, 578 00:24:46,819 --> 00:24:48,612 still trying to make our marriage work. 579 00:24:48,712 --> 00:24:49,780 - Mm-hmm. 580 00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:51,749 - But the same thing goes for Ciara, you know? 581 00:24:51,815 --> 00:24:53,625 This is-- this is something you need to be aware of. 582 00:24:53,726 --> 00:24:56,053 You're just immediately kind of, like, inappropriate 583 00:24:56,153 --> 00:24:58,989 with how touchy you are if it's purely friendship. 584 00:24:59,123 --> 00:25:01,250 - No, that's fair. And that's a learning lesson. 585 00:25:01,316 --> 00:25:03,961 Um... 586 00:25:04,061 --> 00:25:05,963 After summer ended, there-- 587 00:25:06,063 --> 00:25:09,308 yeah, we did kiss, 588 00:25:09,408 --> 00:25:11,101 twice, I believe. 589 00:25:11,168 --> 00:25:14,471 Um, but we did-- 590 00:25:14,571 --> 00:25:15,714 We went to a Giants game separately. 591 00:25:15,848 --> 00:25:16,749 She asked to ride the bus home 592 00:25:16,849 --> 00:25:18,584 and then she asked me for my address. 593 00:25:18,684 --> 00:25:20,077 I didn't give it to her. 594 00:25:20,144 --> 00:25:22,154 Like, her birthday, I went. I wanted to be a good friend. 595 00:25:22,254 --> 00:25:24,423 They went out after. I said I'm going home. 596 00:25:24,490 --> 00:25:26,625 Like, I know I ----ed-- I, like, have not done 597 00:25:26,725 --> 00:25:28,794 a perfect job. I just-- 598 00:25:28,894 --> 00:25:31,522 I want to think she noticed I was trying to, like, 599 00:25:31,655 --> 00:25:33,932 do the right thing a handful of times. 600 00:25:33,999 --> 00:25:35,692 - Well, it's like, you gotta be 100%. 601 00:25:35,826 --> 00:25:36,860 You can't be, like, 90, 80-- you know? 602 00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:38,595 - No, I-I agree. - You know, it's like, 603 00:25:38,695 --> 00:25:39,872 when you have a complicated relationship 604 00:25:39,972 --> 00:25:41,473 with someone... - Yeah. 605 00:25:41,540 --> 00:25:43,776 - You gotta draw the line and you can't cross it. 606 00:25:43,842 --> 00:25:46,278 - Yeah, no, totally. 607 00:25:46,345 --> 00:25:49,114 - Let's just start with one of the big, obvious things, 608 00:25:49,181 --> 00:25:50,808 if you don't mind. - Yeah. 609 00:25:50,941 --> 00:25:52,209 - Meija, like-- - Yeah. 610 00:25:52,342 --> 00:25:55,654 - I've made tons of mistakes in my relationships, 611 00:25:55,721 --> 00:25:58,123 but I've never just, like, full-blown had, like, 612 00:25:58,223 --> 00:26:00,058 a frickin' secret girlfriend. - Yeah. 613 00:26:00,159 --> 00:26:02,561 - Like, that's crazy to me. - Right. 614 00:26:05,030 --> 00:26:06,857 - Was it open-ended with her? 615 00:26:06,990 --> 00:26:08,133 'Cause, like, that's the part that-- 616 00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:12,271 - No, I-- she-she 100% was operating 617 00:26:12,404 --> 00:26:14,506 as if we had an exclusive relationship, 618 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:16,041 and I wasn't, and that's unfair. 619 00:26:16,141 --> 00:26:17,376 And that's ----ing sh---y. 620 00:26:17,476 --> 00:26:21,447 I definitely led her on, and I do and did care about her, 621 00:26:21,580 --> 00:26:23,148 but I-- it was very much a relationship, 622 00:26:23,215 --> 00:26:24,650 and I shouldn't-- - Okay, well, that-- 623 00:26:24,750 --> 00:26:27,419 Honestly, that's all I wanted you to admit at the reunion. 624 00:26:27,519 --> 00:26:28,912 You gave-- you led her to believe you were in 625 00:26:29,046 --> 00:26:31,156 an exclus-- an exclusive relationship. 626 00:26:31,223 --> 00:26:32,850 I've had a lot of exchanges with her. 627 00:26:32,916 --> 00:26:33,892 - Yeah. - It's like, 628 00:26:33,992 --> 00:26:35,527 you wanted to have your cake and eat it, too. 629 00:26:35,661 --> 00:26:40,057 You kind of lied to all of us about your relationship status. 630 00:26:40,190 --> 00:26:42,851 Can we-- is that a fair-- - Yeah, yeah, totally. 631 00:26:42,918 --> 00:26:46,872 I think I look at not leaning all the way in 632 00:26:47,005 --> 00:26:51,376 and maybe, like, ambiguity as communication, 633 00:26:51,510 --> 00:26:52,861 and that is not correct at all. 634 00:26:52,928 --> 00:26:55,981 Like, she wanted me to visit her family for Christmas. 635 00:26:56,115 --> 00:26:58,575 I said no, that's not where our relationship is. 636 00:26:58,675 --> 00:27:01,386 That's easier than saying, "I don't want to date you." 637 00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:04,656 And I thought that was, like, doing the right thing, 638 00:27:04,790 --> 00:27:06,525 and I know nothing that I ended up doing 639 00:27:06,592 --> 00:27:08,544 was the right thing. 640 00:27:08,610 --> 00:27:09,695 - 'Cause like-- I mean, if you want to get 641 00:27:09,761 --> 00:27:13,332 to the Amanda of it all, I mean, like-- 642 00:27:13,465 --> 00:27:16,235 I'm worried for her because, you know, 643 00:27:16,335 --> 00:27:21,240 as people learn about Meija and, like, how much... 644 00:27:21,340 --> 00:27:25,244 you've lied, I think it's gonna make her look even-- 645 00:27:25,344 --> 00:27:27,246 If I'm being honest, it's gonna make her 646 00:27:27,312 --> 00:27:29,064 look even crazier for... 647 00:27:31,308 --> 00:27:34,244 ...for kind of, like-- - Yeah. 648 00:27:34,378 --> 00:27:37,055 - Kind of ruining it all for-for a relationship 649 00:27:37,122 --> 00:27:40,409 that you guys are still figuring out. 650 00:27:40,475 --> 00:27:43,262 - Um, yeah, I think that's fair. 651 00:27:43,395 --> 00:27:46,565 - I mean, dude, she's-- She hasn't even been single. 652 00:27:46,632 --> 00:27:51,170 I-I do think she could've benefited from some time 653 00:27:51,270 --> 00:27:52,763 where she's focused on her. 654 00:27:52,829 --> 00:27:54,998 - I-I agree with you, and that was a conversation 655 00:27:55,098 --> 00:27:57,009 we had multiple times where I said, 656 00:27:57,109 --> 00:28:00,404 "Do you think you should be single for a while 657 00:28:00,504 --> 00:28:02,881 or, like, just not hop right into this?" 658 00:28:03,015 --> 00:28:06,718 And I could only ask it so many times. 659 00:28:06,852 --> 00:28:09,288 The answer was the same. 660 00:28:09,421 --> 00:28:12,758 It all-- like, it looks bad. Like, I-I get that, 100%. 661 00:28:12,824 --> 00:28:15,027 - I mean, the whole-- Look. I want her to be happy, man. 662 00:28:15,127 --> 00:28:18,764 I-I just-- I-I worry that you're gonna break her heart, 663 00:28:18,830 --> 00:28:20,432 if I'm being honest. 664 00:28:20,532 --> 00:28:24,236 - Yeah, I-I know, and I've heard from... 665 00:28:24,369 --> 00:28:27,472 Lindsay texted me. I get that you feel that way. 666 00:28:27,573 --> 00:28:30,208 And-- but can I say-- can I tell you t-that, like, 667 00:28:30,309 --> 00:28:31,793 every other relationship I've had, 668 00:28:31,860 --> 00:28:34,471 and obviously I know I'm, like, the ----in' commitment-phobe. 669 00:28:34,605 --> 00:28:36,882 And like, I know, l-like... 670 00:28:39,384 --> 00:28:40,919 Yeah, I have not had good relationships 671 00:28:41,053 --> 00:28:43,222 for the longest ----in' time. I'm very well aware of that. 672 00:28:43,322 --> 00:28:45,549 And I also don't think part of why I came here, 673 00:28:45,649 --> 00:28:47,492 I'm not gonna sit here on this couch right now 674 00:28:47,559 --> 00:28:50,487 and, like, be able to convince you that 675 00:28:50,621 --> 00:28:54,024 I'm like t-this ----ing changed, perfect person overnight. 676 00:28:55,217 --> 00:28:57,319 But I-I can tell you that my relationship with Amanda 677 00:28:57,386 --> 00:29:00,539 is the first time it's ever come from, like, 678 00:29:00,639 --> 00:29:02,941 a steady three-year friendship where, like, 679 00:29:03,075 --> 00:29:04,660 there's nothing performative about it. 680 00:29:04,726 --> 00:29:08,380 There's no-- no one's trying to, like, prove anything. 681 00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:11,508 Like, I know who she is, she knows who I am. 682 00:29:11,642 --> 00:29:13,785 And, like, I regret so many ----ing things, 683 00:29:13,919 --> 00:29:16,822 but the one thing I-- I cannot regret 684 00:29:16,922 --> 00:29:19,516 and I'm not gonna be, like, take back, is that-- 685 00:29:19,650 --> 00:29:22,060 is my feelings for Amanda and like, developing feelings 686 00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:24,863 and, like, caring about her. I'm-- I won't. 687 00:29:24,963 --> 00:29:27,766 I-I can't apologize for that, 'cause it happened. 688 00:29:27,866 --> 00:29:30,594 - Do you think you're honestly, like, ready to, like, 689 00:29:30,694 --> 00:29:33,639 settle down and be in a committed relationship 690 00:29:33,772 --> 00:29:36,333 where you're faithful? 691 00:29:36,433 --> 00:29:39,069 - Um... Yeah, I do. 692 00:29:41,346 --> 00:29:44,016 The ability to pro-- - Do-do you love her? 693 00:29:44,082 --> 00:29:48,178 - Um, I mean, yeah. ----in', if you-- 694 00:29:48,278 --> 00:29:51,415 I said "I love you" that night I left your guys room to her. 695 00:29:53,183 --> 00:29:54,710 Amanda... 696 00:30:00,966 --> 00:30:04,736 I-I really care about her a (BLEEP) ton. 697 00:30:04,870 --> 00:30:05,737 - Wait, time out. 698 00:30:05,837 --> 00:30:09,708 H-How long have you had feelings for her? 699 00:30:09,841 --> 00:30:13,061 Like, beyond friendship? - Like... 700 00:30:13,128 --> 00:30:14,613 February. The timeline-- 701 00:30:14,713 --> 00:30:18,550 L-Like, the timeline sh-- is very-- 702 00:30:18,617 --> 00:30:20,318 I get that everyone wants to go back and, like, 703 00:30:20,419 --> 00:30:21,244 watch the show and be like, 704 00:30:21,378 --> 00:30:23,822 "They were ----in' hooking up then." 705 00:30:23,922 --> 00:30:25,590 We weren't, but, I, like-- She is -- 706 00:30:25,691 --> 00:30:28,452 We had been close prior to it ever feeling like... 707 00:30:28,552 --> 00:30:29,928 - Okay, but there's-- There's love 708 00:30:30,028 --> 00:30:31,430 and then there's in love. 709 00:30:31,530 --> 00:30:33,598 And I think one of the things that has helped me be at peace 710 00:30:33,699 --> 00:30:37,828 with our separation is, yeah, we fell out of love. 711 00:30:37,961 --> 00:30:39,296 - Right. - There's-- 712 00:30:39,396 --> 00:30:41,106 I still have love for her, but we haven't been in love 713 00:30:41,206 --> 00:30:42,874 in years, if I'm being honest. - Yeah, that's fair. 714 00:30:43,008 --> 00:30:45,927 - But I-- The way you said "I love you" to Amanda 715 00:30:45,994 --> 00:30:48,505 is the same way-- I mean, I filmed Watch What Happens 716 00:30:48,605 --> 00:30:50,599 with Lindsay last night. I was like, "I love you". 717 00:30:50,665 --> 00:30:52,768 - I also... - But I'm not in love with Lindsay. 718 00:30:52,834 --> 00:30:55,512 - Um, I haven't-- 719 00:30:55,612 --> 00:30:57,956 No, I haven't gotten to the point where I've... 720 00:30:58,023 --> 00:31:00,625 told her or myself that I'm like, in love or not. 721 00:31:00,759 --> 00:31:03,628 But like, I do... 722 00:31:03,762 --> 00:31:06,089 like, love her, 723 00:31:06,189 --> 00:31:09,126 and, like, have. 724 00:31:09,192 --> 00:31:11,953 I have cared about her for a very, very long time. 725 00:31:12,020 --> 00:31:14,873 And it's hard to say that ----ing right to your face. 726 00:31:14,973 --> 00:31:17,834 I hope and I am looking forward to 727 00:31:17,934 --> 00:31:20,303 the way that I do care and will treat Amanda 728 00:31:20,370 --> 00:31:22,714 to at least like, lighten the ----ing worry 729 00:31:22,814 --> 00:31:26,818 that you have or the thought that 730 00:31:26,952 --> 00:31:29,212 this is like just a ----ing joke, 731 00:31:29,312 --> 00:31:30,622 and I don't care about anyone. 732 00:31:30,689 --> 00:31:34,142 Like, again, t-that only takes time. 733 00:31:34,209 --> 00:31:38,563 But, um, I do hope and think that will help. 734 00:31:42,058 --> 00:31:46,838 No matter how this shakes out, I do appreciate you, 735 00:31:46,972 --> 00:31:48,907 like, talking to me today. 736 00:31:49,007 --> 00:31:52,644 Um, I mean, even your voice notes, 737 00:31:52,711 --> 00:31:55,247 as classic Kyle ramble-y as they were, 738 00:31:55,347 --> 00:31:57,165 were a nice-- - Yeah, I was like, "(BLEEP), 739 00:31:57,232 --> 00:31:58,575 "I'm at the five minute mark. I gotta go." 740 00:31:58,675 --> 00:32:01,353 - Yeah, those are a nice, like, reminder that-- 741 00:32:01,420 --> 00:32:02,687 - I mean, dude, I-- - Everything might be okay. 742 00:32:02,821 --> 00:32:04,990 - This is such a weird feeling. I-I care about you. 743 00:32:05,056 --> 00:32:06,183 I care about Amanda. 744 00:32:06,249 --> 00:32:10,195 I almost want to, like, ----ing--- 745 00:32:10,295 --> 00:32:12,130 It's just such a weird... 746 00:32:12,264 --> 00:32:13,432 - No, and you didn't ask for it either. 747 00:32:13,532 --> 00:32:16,426 That's why it sucks. And so I-- It's been sus. 748 00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:17,903 - I mean, to do all this in the public eye 749 00:32:18,003 --> 00:32:19,438 is, like, kind of crazy. 750 00:32:19,538 --> 00:32:21,506 - Mm-hmm. - I don't know. 751 00:32:21,573 --> 00:32:22,999 It's been an emotional couple months, 752 00:32:23,099 --> 00:32:23,942 that's for sure. 753 00:32:24,042 --> 00:32:25,861 - Yeah. 754 00:32:28,947 --> 00:32:33,034 - I also feel like, you know, you owe some type of, like, 755 00:32:33,101 --> 00:32:35,111 apology to Meija. 756 00:32:35,245 --> 00:32:38,123 - I have owed, unfortunately, 757 00:32:38,223 --> 00:32:41,918 a lot of people... 758 00:32:42,052 --> 00:32:43,311 apologies. 759 00:32:43,445 --> 00:32:51,052 ♪♪ 760 00:32:55,499 --> 00:33:05,383 ♪♪ 761 00:33:05,450 --> 00:33:08,645 [knock at the door] 762 00:33:08,845 --> 00:33:12,858 ♪♪ 763 00:33:12,991 --> 00:33:16,411 - Hi, pretty lady. - Hello. Come on in. 764 00:33:16,478 --> 00:33:18,488 I'm just chopping flowers. 765 00:33:18,688 --> 00:33:19,531 ♪♪ 766 00:33:19,664 --> 00:33:21,992 Can I make you a little mimosa? 767 00:33:22,125 --> 00:33:24,961 - I would love a little mimosa. 768 00:33:28,356 --> 00:33:29,666 ♪♪ 769 00:33:29,833 --> 00:33:33,345 - Come on in. I'm just chopping flowers. 770 00:33:33,445 --> 00:33:34,346 - Okay. 771 00:33:34,512 --> 00:33:36,514 - Can I make you a little mimosa? 772 00:33:36,681 --> 00:33:38,016 - I would love a little mimosa. 773 00:33:38,149 --> 00:33:40,352 - Okay, perfect, because I'm drinking, 774 00:33:40,485 --> 00:33:43,655 and I feel like, if you need to gossip, 775 00:33:43,755 --> 00:33:45,524 you need a little alcohol. 776 00:33:45,690 --> 00:33:47,626 How are you? - Um, you know. 777 00:33:47,759 --> 00:33:49,694 she's hanging in there. - Yeah. 778 00:33:49,828 --> 00:33:52,289 - I think I'm still, like, very much in shock. 779 00:33:52,355 --> 00:33:54,399 How are you doing with everything? 780 00:33:54,466 --> 00:33:56,134 [sighs] 781 00:33:56,234 --> 00:33:59,804 - We are surviving and thriving, I guess. 782 00:33:59,938 --> 00:34:01,298 - Are we? Okay. 783 00:34:01,364 --> 00:34:04,876 - Um, actually, thriving is... 784 00:34:04,976 --> 00:34:07,712 It depends on the day. Things catch up with me. 785 00:34:07,812 --> 00:34:08,413 - Yeah. 786 00:34:08,513 --> 00:34:10,248 - But... - Thank you so much. 787 00:34:10,348 --> 00:34:11,850 Before any of this. 788 00:34:12,017 --> 00:34:13,552 - Okay, let's sit. - Okay. 789 00:34:13,652 --> 00:34:15,987 - Oh, yeah, take your jacket off. 790 00:34:16,054 --> 00:34:18,089 I got us fruit, but like... 791 00:34:18,156 --> 00:34:20,525 - And it does look so good. 792 00:34:20,625 --> 00:34:22,794 - Also, very sorry you had to see 793 00:34:22,894 --> 00:34:24,679 footage of us kissing. 794 00:34:24,713 --> 00:34:29,601 ♪♪ 795 00:34:29,701 --> 00:34:32,537 - It-- I mean, that's not your fault whatsoever. 796 00:34:32,671 --> 00:34:34,773 - I will say, like, yeah, that definitely took 797 00:34:34,873 --> 00:34:37,876 the air out of my lungs to see, because I wasn't 798 00:34:38,009 --> 00:34:39,411 privy to that. - I just-- 799 00:34:39,544 --> 00:34:41,246 - But that's not-- Do not. 800 00:34:41,346 --> 00:34:42,672 That wasn't your responsibility to tell me. 801 00:34:42,739 --> 00:34:45,884 - But, like, when you guys were, like... 802 00:34:46,051 --> 00:34:48,153 When you're at his house over the summer, 803 00:34:48,253 --> 00:34:50,355 is he giving you, like, a recap of the weekend? 804 00:34:50,488 --> 00:34:54,559 Or is it like-- - Yeah, I feel like, um... 805 00:34:54,659 --> 00:34:57,362 Yeah, like, anytime I would go over there 806 00:34:57,495 --> 00:35:00,690 and we would hang out, and there would be some, like, 807 00:35:00,757 --> 00:35:03,868 weekends where he was going, and he would be, like, 808 00:35:03,969 --> 00:35:05,028 "Do you wanna just stay for the weekend 809 00:35:05,095 --> 00:35:06,604 so you can, like, be here when I get back?" 810 00:35:06,738 --> 00:35:08,773 And I was like, "Absolutely." 811 00:35:08,940 --> 00:35:10,225 Because I just, like, recently moved, 812 00:35:10,258 --> 00:35:13,728 so it's not like I have-- - Yeah. 813 00:35:13,762 --> 00:35:16,247 - Like, a whole lot to go back to in Philly. 814 00:35:16,381 --> 00:35:17,682 And I also, like, work remote, so it's, like, 815 00:35:17,782 --> 00:35:19,734 convenient for me to be there. - Yeah. 816 00:35:19,768 --> 00:35:22,454 - Also, he had, like, just moved into his apartment 817 00:35:22,620 --> 00:35:23,788 at the time. - Right. 818 00:35:23,922 --> 00:35:25,790 - And I love to decorate, and I, like, 819 00:35:25,890 --> 00:35:27,726 love to do that kind of thing. - Yeah, same. 820 00:35:27,792 --> 00:35:28,618 - So I was like, "I'll help you." 821 00:35:28,785 --> 00:35:29,594 - Yeah. - Like, all -- I'm -- 822 00:35:29,761 --> 00:35:31,796 Like, I'll-- I love to stay. - Yeah. 823 00:35:31,896 --> 00:35:32,597 I can style your apartment. 824 00:35:32,764 --> 00:35:34,749 I can make it the way that I want it. 825 00:35:34,783 --> 00:35:37,769 So that you don't (BLEEP) it up. - Just to be so clear, 826 00:35:37,902 --> 00:35:39,304 didn't style his apartment. [laughs] 827 00:35:39,404 --> 00:35:40,897 I'm not gonna take-- We've seen it. 828 00:35:40,964 --> 00:35:42,590 I'm not taking credit. - Yeah. 829 00:35:42,624 --> 00:35:45,143 So the basketball hoop wasn't...? 830 00:35:45,243 --> 00:35:47,237 - Yeah, so that wasn't-- That wasn't my choice. 831 00:35:47,303 --> 00:35:48,279 - Yeah, yeah. - I was actually very much 832 00:35:48,413 --> 00:35:49,914 against that basketball hoop, but it's fine. 833 00:35:50,015 --> 00:35:51,716 - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. 834 00:35:51,816 --> 00:35:53,618 - But, yeah, he would, like, come back, 835 00:35:53,785 --> 00:35:56,755 and then we would, like, talk about the weekend. 836 00:35:56,855 --> 00:35:58,123 - Yeah. And, like, obviously, 837 00:35:58,256 --> 00:36:00,608 he would, like, leave out details. 838 00:36:00,642 --> 00:36:01,960 - Well, clearly. - Yeah. 839 00:36:02,127 --> 00:36:07,132 - I'm also just kind of not that type of girl, I guess, 840 00:36:07,232 --> 00:36:08,233 to be like... - Yeah. 841 00:36:08,333 --> 00:36:10,502 It's like, if you don't have a reason to worry, 842 00:36:10,635 --> 00:36:11,703 then you're like-- - Yeah. 843 00:36:11,803 --> 00:36:15,832 Like, I typically give partners, like, a really long leash. 844 00:36:15,999 --> 00:36:18,009 I just-- I, like, don't wanna be in a relationship 845 00:36:18,176 --> 00:36:19,878 where I feel like I'm constantly, like, 846 00:36:19,978 --> 00:36:21,346 checking you on everything. - Yeah. 847 00:36:21,446 --> 00:36:23,982 - Like, if I like you, I trust you to, like, 848 00:36:24,082 --> 00:36:26,651 not cross a line. - Right. 849 00:36:26,785 --> 00:36:29,304 - Apparently, I should have, 850 00:36:29,337 --> 00:36:32,449 and I probably won't be that way in the future, but... 851 00:36:32,515 --> 00:36:34,659 - Have you guys been in contact at all? 852 00:36:34,759 --> 00:36:37,954 - We hadn't spoken for a few weeks. 853 00:36:38,021 --> 00:36:41,783 After the reunion, he texted me, "You win". 854 00:36:43,201 --> 00:36:45,670 - "You win"? 855 00:36:45,770 --> 00:36:47,872 What are you winning? - This isn't a game. 856 00:36:48,006 --> 00:36:51,209 - Because the fact that people knew about you? 857 00:36:52,811 --> 00:36:56,014 We took it upon ourselves to, like, figure out 858 00:36:56,147 --> 00:36:58,316 who this girl is, because obviously, 859 00:36:58,383 --> 00:37:00,085 there's two sides to the story. 860 00:37:00,151 --> 00:37:02,387 And, like, you were hiding your side of the story and-- 861 00:37:02,487 --> 00:37:03,822 - Yeah. 862 00:37:03,922 --> 00:37:06,324 - There's not a lot of physical evidence 863 00:37:06,391 --> 00:37:08,143 of y'all's relationship. - Yes. 864 00:37:08,209 --> 00:37:11,863 - But, like, there's evidence of y'all's relationship. 865 00:37:11,996 --> 00:37:14,065 - Are there any girls you're excited about? 866 00:37:14,199 --> 00:37:16,659 - Umm... Like, am I about to date anyone? 867 00:37:16,726 --> 00:37:19,037 No. - That's ----in' bullsh--. 868 00:37:19,204 --> 00:37:20,171 [laughing] 869 00:37:20,271 --> 00:37:21,906 I see a girl's name pop up on your phone 870 00:37:22,073 --> 00:37:24,542 all the ----in' time! 871 00:37:24,642 --> 00:37:27,579 So I don't know who you're trying to tell, 872 00:37:27,712 --> 00:37:30,081 but I ----ing know! 873 00:37:34,819 --> 00:37:35,887 - No, the girl he's talking about 874 00:37:35,987 --> 00:37:37,555 lives in Montana. 875 00:37:37,689 --> 00:37:40,091 - She sounds fabulous. I'd love to meet her. 876 00:37:40,225 --> 00:37:42,260 - Mmm... [laughing] 877 00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:45,196 Let's pack up. Let's pack up. Whoa! 878 00:37:45,296 --> 00:37:46,764 I don't know where my phone is. 879 00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:51,361 - How is Meija? - Huh? 880 00:37:51,427 --> 00:37:52,604 - I said, "How is Meija?" 881 00:37:55,765 --> 00:37:56,741 - After the whole "You win" thing, 882 00:37:56,875 --> 00:37:57,909 I think it took him, like, a week. 883 00:37:58,042 --> 00:38:00,545 And then he called me and we had this, like, 884 00:38:00,612 --> 00:38:02,947 six-hour conversation where he, like... 885 00:38:03,081 --> 00:38:05,884 - You guys talked for six hours post reunion? 886 00:38:05,950 --> 00:38:06,885 - Yeah. - Like did you guys 887 00:38:06,951 --> 00:38:09,154 talk on the phone or was this via text? 888 00:38:09,254 --> 00:38:10,755 - A lot of our conversations 889 00:38:10,889 --> 00:38:13,725 are now, like, over a phone call... 890 00:38:13,858 --> 00:38:15,026 because of her. 891 00:38:15,193 --> 00:38:20,298 ♪♪ 892 00:38:22,233 --> 00:38:23,960 ♪♪ 893 00:38:24,060 --> 00:38:27,338 - You guys talked for six hours post reunion? 894 00:38:27,472 --> 00:38:28,540 - Yeah. - Like, did you guys 895 00:38:28,606 --> 00:38:30,775 talk on the phone or is this via text? 896 00:38:30,875 --> 00:38:32,936 - A lot of our conversations are now, like, 897 00:38:33,069 --> 00:38:35,563 over a phone call... 898 00:38:35,630 --> 00:38:36,714 because of her. 899 00:38:36,881 --> 00:38:40,218 ♪♪ 900 00:38:40,285 --> 00:38:42,879 - I applaud you on not blocking him. 901 00:38:42,979 --> 00:38:47,317 - It's still, like, hard for me to fully disconnect. 902 00:38:47,417 --> 00:38:48,893 I still have feelings there. - Yeah. 903 00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:51,396 - Like, this was such a 180 bombshell for me. 904 00:38:51,496 --> 00:38:54,098 Like, those don't just, like, go away overnight. 905 00:38:54,199 --> 00:38:56,251 - But don't you think it's still weird that, like, 906 00:38:56,317 --> 00:39:00,930 he's still under the advice of you? 907 00:39:01,064 --> 00:39:02,999 - No, really. - Like while he has 908 00:39:03,099 --> 00:39:04,709 this girlfriend-- this new girlfriend. 909 00:39:04,842 --> 00:39:05,910 - Well, I didn't-- So here's the thing. 910 00:39:06,010 --> 00:39:08,046 At first he was like, "I'm just going to Italy." 911 00:39:08,179 --> 00:39:10,273 Then I told him, I was like, "Go hang out with your family. 912 00:39:10,406 --> 00:39:12,442 Like, go hang out with people who love you." 913 00:39:12,508 --> 00:39:15,178 Then I found out Amanda was going. 914 00:39:15,278 --> 00:39:17,222 You going with Amanda is a (BLEEP) you 915 00:39:17,355 --> 00:39:18,223 to everyone involved. 916 00:39:18,356 --> 00:39:19,858 And it's such a big (BLEEP) you to me, 917 00:39:19,958 --> 00:39:22,227 who has been, like, taking your phone calls 918 00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:23,795 and trying to understand you. - Yeah. 919 00:39:23,928 --> 00:39:26,564 But if you didn't exist and you weren't as important 920 00:39:26,698 --> 00:39:28,700 as he says you were. - Yeah. 921 00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:31,536 - Then, like, why the (BLEEP) is he still calling you 922 00:39:31,636 --> 00:39:33,830 if he's in this happy relationship 923 00:39:33,963 --> 00:39:35,940 and trying to figure it out? - I know! 924 00:39:36,007 --> 00:39:37,609 - Can you just admit that you guys-- 925 00:39:37,675 --> 00:39:42,205 You blew up your whole ----ing lives to (BLEEP). 926 00:39:42,338 --> 00:39:44,482 Because honestly, we know West. 927 00:39:44,582 --> 00:39:46,384 It was the thrill of the secrecy for him. 928 00:39:46,484 --> 00:39:47,418 - Said it from day one. - It was-- 929 00:39:47,552 --> 00:39:48,820 It was the hiding in plain sight that-- 930 00:39:48,953 --> 00:39:51,147 That was the most thrilling thing for him. 931 00:39:51,214 --> 00:39:53,116 That's why he liked it. 932 00:39:53,216 --> 00:39:56,352 If I'm being real, like secret sex is kind of hot. 933 00:39:56,452 --> 00:39:57,996 But like... - Why do you think I was so comfortable? 934 00:39:58,096 --> 00:39:59,497 - Secret is something like you're doing-- 935 00:39:59,564 --> 00:40:02,333 Like, I've never done it where it's like 936 00:40:02,467 --> 00:40:04,319 I'm ----ing my best friend's ex. 937 00:40:04,385 --> 00:40:06,996 - Well, no, 'cause that's evil. - Well, that's evil. 938 00:40:07,130 --> 00:40:08,990 - Even West and I's relationship, 939 00:40:09,057 --> 00:40:10,825 I'm like, yeah, there was a big part of it 940 00:40:10,892 --> 00:40:11,901 where I'm like, 941 00:40:12,001 --> 00:40:13,494 "I love that this is kind of a secret. 942 00:40:13,561 --> 00:40:15,663 Like, this is kinda fun!" - Yeah, like, nobody knows. 943 00:40:15,730 --> 00:40:18,750 - 'Cause I thought I was in on it, wasn't. 944 00:40:18,850 --> 00:40:22,145 [laughing] But, like, turns out... 945 00:40:22,245 --> 00:40:25,857 - Also same, like... "I was like, oh my God, are we-- 946 00:40:25,957 --> 00:40:29,093 We might be hooking up again, but, like, nobody knows yet." 947 00:40:29,193 --> 00:40:31,829 But, like... - Like, whoa, the tension here. 948 00:40:31,896 --> 00:40:33,723 Or, like, when we would, like, travel together 949 00:40:33,856 --> 00:40:35,925 or, like, go to things together, 950 00:40:36,059 --> 00:40:39,304 I was like, "I love that no one knows, 951 00:40:39,437 --> 00:40:42,073 and we can just leave together or, like, go back together." 952 00:40:42,173 --> 00:40:46,194 It's so fun and, like, kinky and secretive. 953 00:40:46,260 --> 00:40:49,672 - But now everything moving forward is loud 954 00:40:49,772 --> 00:40:51,182 and publicly. 955 00:40:51,249 --> 00:40:53,685 - I think from, like, here on out, it's just... 956 00:40:53,785 --> 00:40:56,037 I have to sever the cord. - Yeah. It's like a loss. 957 00:40:56,104 --> 00:40:57,622 - After the Italy thing, it's like, 958 00:40:57,722 --> 00:40:59,757 I had a very serious conversation with myself, 959 00:40:59,857 --> 00:41:03,461 and I was like, I'm sure as hell not going to roll over 960 00:41:03,561 --> 00:41:07,332 and act like I didn't exist and stay extremely silent. 961 00:41:07,465 --> 00:41:08,333 - Yeah. - What did you think 962 00:41:08,466 --> 00:41:10,626 was going to happen in the end? 963 00:41:10,727 --> 00:41:12,970 - Okay, well, cheers to the gossip. 964 00:41:13,071 --> 00:41:14,305 - Cheers to the gossip. - The tea. 965 00:41:14,405 --> 00:41:17,308 To moving on, to a better summer. 966 00:41:17,408 --> 00:41:20,511 And, like, also, just at this point, 967 00:41:20,645 --> 00:41:22,647 let's just, like, make it fun. Let's make it fun. 968 00:41:22,747 --> 00:41:23,982 - No, literally. Let's make it funny. 969 00:41:24,082 --> 00:41:25,817 - Let's make it light and airy. - Let's make it funny. 970 00:41:25,917 --> 00:41:28,786 - Like, let's laugh a little. Let's, you know. 971 00:41:28,886 --> 00:41:33,583 - I'm petty. - Bitch, I'm petty. 972 00:41:33,716 --> 00:41:34,659 I'm ----in' petty. 973 00:41:34,759 --> 00:41:35,727 My mom had to text me and be like, 974 00:41:35,793 --> 00:41:37,754 "Ciara, you're done on Threads." 975 00:41:37,820 --> 00:41:39,731 I was like, "No, I'm just getting started." 976 00:41:39,797 --> 00:41:40,890 She was like, "No, you're done." 977 00:41:40,990 --> 00:41:43,568 I was like... 978 00:41:43,634 --> 00:41:46,037 "I'm gonna block you, so that I can do 979 00:41:46,170 --> 00:41:49,632 what I need to do because I just have to 980 00:41:49,766 --> 00:41:53,428 do a little cartwheel, you know, here and there. 981 00:41:53,494 --> 00:41:55,263 We're kinda trauma bonded, but... 982 00:41:55,329 --> 00:41:56,647 - Oh, we're fully trauma bonded. - I love it. 983 00:41:56,748 --> 00:41:59,017 - No, I'm actually, like, very much in support of it. 984 00:41:59,117 --> 00:42:02,086 Like, West and Amanda are trauma bonded, but I'm like-- 985 00:42:02,153 --> 00:42:04,347 - Yeah, for different reasons. - Well, different reasons. 986 00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:05,581 I feel like ours is fun. 987 00:42:05,681 --> 00:42:06,783 We're gonna outlast their relationship. 988 00:42:06,849 --> 00:42:08,993 - Oh, yeah. I will say-- - And I'm being so dead ass. 989 00:42:09,093 --> 00:42:11,687 Like, we have to kiss courtside somewhere. 990 00:42:11,788 --> 00:42:13,297 - Oh. - Have to. 991 00:42:13,398 --> 00:42:15,658 I'm gonna kiss you with so much passion, 992 00:42:15,792 --> 00:42:17,769 no one's gonna think we would ever be siblings. 993 00:42:17,835 --> 00:42:19,270 [laughing] 994 00:42:19,337 --> 00:42:21,030 He brought us together far too late. 995 00:42:21,164 --> 00:42:23,841 - I mean... - Far too late. 996 00:42:23,941 --> 00:42:26,544 ♪ Top of the world All right ♪ 997 00:42:26,644 --> 00:42:30,114 ♪ We ain't goin' nowhere where where where ♪ 998 00:42:30,281 --> 00:42:37,388 ♪♪