1
00:00:00,835 --> 00:00:02,461
[♪♪♪♪♪]

2
00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:08,050
Sold?

3
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:12,805
Someone bought
that abandoned lot.

4
00:00:12,888 --> 00:00:15,099
Who would want
that old dump?

5
00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:16,809
Maybe somebody's starting
a new business here.

6
00:00:16,892 --> 00:00:18,394
What kinda
dime-store dingleberry

7
00:00:18,477 --> 00:00:21,564
would start a new business
in a town of 460 people?

8
00:00:21,647 --> 00:00:23,190
Present Lacey excluded.

9
00:00:23,274 --> 00:00:25,776
I heard that a wing joint
opened up in a small town,

10
00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:27,361
and two months later,

11
00:00:27,445 --> 00:00:30,114
it became a clubhouse
for a motorcycle gang.

12
00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:31,532
That sounds cool.

13
00:00:31,615 --> 00:00:33,451
A motorcycle gang sounds cool?

14
00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:35,286
No, wings and a clubhouse.

15
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:37,663
Or, ooh, wings in a clubhouse.

16
00:00:37,747 --> 00:00:38,706
Phil, we need to talk.

17
00:00:38,789 --> 00:00:39,915
Bikers?

18
00:00:39,999 --> 00:00:41,584
That's a scary thought.

19
00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:43,586
The last thing we need
is more crime.

20
00:00:43,669 --> 00:00:45,963
Yeah, 'cause then
we'd have some crime.

21
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,214
I don't like this.

22
00:00:47,298 --> 00:00:49,383
A wing joint
for a motorcycle gang...

23
00:00:49,467 --> 00:00:50,551
what's next?

24
00:00:50,634 --> 00:00:52,511
Tattoo parlour!
Fingers crossed.

25
00:00:52,595 --> 00:00:53,721
A chain store.

26
00:00:53,804 --> 00:00:56,307
Oh yeah, bikers love
to fight with chains.

27
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,142
He means a big box store.

28
00:00:58,225 --> 00:00:59,810
How do you fight
with big boxes?

29
00:00:59,894 --> 00:01:01,604
Oh, you mean boxing.

30
00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:03,189
Ugh! I'm out.

31
00:01:03,272 --> 00:01:05,024
Why are you
all panicking?

32
00:01:05,107 --> 00:01:06,984
Have you ever considered
the possibility that--

33
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,611
Oh, here we go.

34
00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:10,988
He reads Real Estate
for Jackasses once,

35
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:13,157
and now he knows everything.

36
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,784
My apologies.

37
00:01:14,867 --> 00:01:17,703
Please continue getting upset
about this phantom biker gang.

38
00:01:17,787 --> 00:01:19,663
Whoa, the bikers
are phantoms?

39
00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:21,957
That's a whole
other problem.

40
00:01:22,041 --> 00:01:25,544
♪ You think there's
not a lot goin' on ♪

41
00:01:25,628 --> 00:01:26,962
♪ Look closer, baby ♪

42
00:01:27,045 --> 00:01:28,631
♪ You're so wrong ♪

43
00:01:33,676 --> 00:01:35,054
Still nothing?

44
00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:35,971
Nada.

45
00:01:36,055 --> 00:01:36,889
Zilch.

46
00:01:36,972 --> 00:01:38,515
It just doesn't
make sense.

47
00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:40,643
Where are all the men?

48
00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:42,478
Uh, yoo-hoo.

49
00:01:42,561 --> 00:01:45,564
There should be a tidal wave
of dongs in my inbox.

50
00:01:45,648 --> 00:01:46,732
Excuse me?

51
00:01:46,816 --> 00:01:47,983
Ding dongs.

52
00:01:48,067 --> 00:01:50,360
We signed up for a dating app
called Ringer.

53
00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:53,113
It has this flirting tool
where people can ring your bell.

54
00:01:53,197 --> 00:01:54,448
A ding is like a wink,

55
00:01:54,532 --> 00:01:56,116
where a dong
is like a wolf whistle...

56
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:57,827
Mm, maybe a fireman

57
00:01:57,910 --> 00:01:59,370
who just
spilled something on his shirt

58
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:01,956
and has to take it off
and rub his--

59
00:02:02,039 --> 00:02:04,333
Or, you know,
something like that.

60
00:02:04,416 --> 00:02:06,085
Oh, someone
needs a date.

61
00:02:06,168 --> 00:02:07,711
Why don't we have
any messages?

62
00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:09,255
We all put up
nice photos.

63
00:02:09,338 --> 00:02:10,548
It should be
raining dongs.

64
00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:11,841
Cats and dongs.

65
00:02:11,924 --> 00:02:14,385
Should I be here for this?

66
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:15,886
We've got to stop that lot

67
00:02:15,970 --> 00:02:18,097
from becoming
a festering crime hole.

68
00:02:18,180 --> 00:02:19,974
And now festering holes.

69
00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:21,267
You've all changed.

70
00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:24,311
We were up late
bingeing Sons of Anarchy.

71
00:02:24,395 --> 00:02:27,731
We can't let some outsiders
roll in here and ruin things.

72
00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:30,943
Yeah, I don't want
somebody changing that lot.

73
00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:32,653
It was the site
of my first kiss.

74
00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:37,449
[sighing]

75
00:02:37,533 --> 00:02:39,952
Seen a lot
of kisses since then,

76
00:02:40,035 --> 00:02:41,871
but you never forget your first.

77
00:02:41,954 --> 00:02:44,582
So you're only worried
about biker gangs now?

78
00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,125
Not big retailers?

79
00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:48,293
Big retailers are just as bad.

80
00:02:48,377 --> 00:02:50,838
Our taxes
could go through the roof.

81
00:02:50,921 --> 00:02:54,300
That doesn't concern
Scrooge McMoneybags here.

82
00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:56,302
He doesn't care
if his taxes go up

83
00:02:56,385 --> 00:02:58,846
or if his family
gets kidnapped by...

84
00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:02,224
Marvin Muscles
and his Motorcyclin' Marauders.

85
00:03:02,308 --> 00:03:03,601
Who's Marvin?

86
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:05,769
Was he a second cousin
of anarchy?

87
00:03:09,607 --> 00:03:10,733
Anything yet?

88
00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:12,192
Nothing.

89
00:03:12,276 --> 00:03:13,944
I was thinking that maybe
the app was offline,

90
00:03:14,028 --> 00:03:16,030
but it seems
to be working.

91
00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:18,032
-For other people.
-What gives?

92
00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:19,241
My friend's on this,

93
00:03:19,325 --> 00:03:21,827
and she said she's buried
in pics and messages...

94
00:03:21,911 --> 00:03:24,788
and she's got a mustache
like Wyatt Earp.

95
00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:26,999
Still waiting
for ding dongs?

96
00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:28,918
Why don't you just dong
some dings yourselves?

97
00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:31,128
We can't do that.

98
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:33,881
If I message the guy first,
he'll think I'm desperate.

99
00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:36,050
But guys who message
you first are...

100
00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:37,635
Confident go-getters.

101
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,637
-I don't make the rules.
-That's stupid.

102
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:40,763
Men are lazy.

103
00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:42,348
If you send
the first message,

104
00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:43,933
you're just
eliminating a step.

105
00:03:44,016 --> 00:03:45,517
Go for it.

106
00:03:45,601 --> 00:03:47,269
I guess we could
at least look.

107
00:03:47,353 --> 00:03:49,605
See who
we're waiting on.

108
00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:50,814
Hipster...

109
00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:51,857
metal head...

110
00:03:51,941 --> 00:03:52,900
Brony...

111
00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:54,944
Ooh, nice french braid.

112
00:03:55,027 --> 00:03:56,153
No way!

113
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:58,906
-Guess who's on here?
-Davis?

114
00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:01,700
Wow, nice photo.

115
00:04:01,784 --> 00:04:04,078
Let's send him
a gag message.

116
00:04:04,161 --> 00:04:05,496
[typing]

117
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,373
Hmm. It won't send.

118
00:04:07,456 --> 00:04:08,332
What?

119
00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:10,292
His inbox is full?!

120
00:04:13,212 --> 00:04:15,798
[movie music plays]

121
00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:17,548
Fitzy!
We need you.

122
00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:18,634
Can you come
back later?

123
00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:20,719
I'm in the middle of
a leadership seminar.

124
00:04:20,803 --> 00:04:21,803
Seminar?

125
00:04:21,887 --> 00:04:23,889
I thought we were
just watching movies.

126
00:04:23,973 --> 00:04:25,766
You're suggesting
Harry James Potter

127
00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:27,059
wasn't a leader?

128
00:04:27,142 --> 00:04:28,769
I think Hermione
has a stronger influence

129
00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:29,937
on the group.

130
00:04:30,020 --> 00:04:32,439
We want to know
who bought that vacant lot.

131
00:04:32,523 --> 00:04:33,482
Dunno.

132
00:04:33,565 --> 00:04:34,775
Isn't that the sort of thing

133
00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:36,360
you're supposed to know
as mayor?

134
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:37,695
If you're going to get on me

135
00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:39,321
about all the stuff
I don't know,

136
00:04:39,405 --> 00:04:40,990
we'll be here all day.

137
00:04:41,073 --> 00:04:43,701
Well, at least tell us
what the lot is zoned for.

138
00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:48,664
Ah yes, the vacant lot.

139
00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:50,124
Zoned AG.

140
00:04:50,207 --> 00:04:51,542
What's AG?

141
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:52,710
Agriculture?

142
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,712
Oh, weed farm.

143
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:56,422
We don't want people
selling weed!

144
00:04:56,505 --> 00:04:58,799
Although it's good
for guacamole.

145
00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:00,592
Do you mean glaucoma?

146
00:05:00,676 --> 00:05:01,844
It's good for both.

147
00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:03,971
AG is "anything goes."

148
00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:06,765
Why is there
an "anything goes" zone?

149
00:05:06,849 --> 00:05:08,726
Sounds kinda sexy,
if you ask me.

150
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:12,438
You should change that zoning
to WNTP.

151
00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:14,481
"We need to approve."

152
00:05:14,565 --> 00:05:17,484
You think "approve"
starts with a P?

153
00:05:17,568 --> 00:05:19,028
You're almost
stupid enough

154
00:05:19,111 --> 00:05:20,446
to be mayor.

155
00:05:20,529 --> 00:05:22,031
I have seen all the
Harry Potter movies.

156
00:05:22,114 --> 00:05:23,615
No spoilers!

157
00:05:23,699 --> 00:05:26,035
Well, I guess
we have no choice.

158
00:05:26,118 --> 00:05:29,288
Time to start our own
biker gang to defend our turf.

159
00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:31,373
Or we start
our own big box store.

160
00:05:31,457 --> 00:05:33,625
I mean, either way,
we'll be wearing cool vests.

161
00:05:33,709 --> 00:05:35,085
Option C...

162
00:05:35,169 --> 00:05:37,129
we phone the realtor.

163
00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:38,547
[dialing]

164
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,966
Rouleau Realty.

165
00:05:41,050 --> 00:05:43,802
How can we make your dreams
...a realty?

166
00:05:43,886 --> 00:05:46,764
You could start
by working on that slogan.

167
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:50,558
I'll get right on that
as soon as you buy a house.

168
00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:53,520
Well, I'm actually just calling
with a question.

169
00:05:53,604 --> 00:05:55,314
Could you tell me
who recently purchased

170
00:05:55,397 --> 00:05:56,940
the empty lot in Dog River?

171
00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:58,067
Which lot?

172
00:05:58,150 --> 00:06:00,152
The only one in Dog River

173
00:06:00,235 --> 00:06:02,529
with your toothy mug
on the sign.

174
00:06:02,613 --> 00:06:06,617
So, just to be clear,
you want my help?

175
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:09,661
Well, first, I'm not
at liberty to say.

176
00:06:09,745 --> 00:06:12,998
And second, even if I was,
I wouldn't tell you.

177
00:06:13,082 --> 00:06:13,916
You've been a little snippy.

178
00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:14,833
Good day.

179
00:06:14,917 --> 00:06:16,752
-[dial tone]
-Oh...

180
00:06:16,835 --> 00:06:18,504
Did she say snippy?

181
00:06:18,587 --> 00:06:19,963
Could be a barbershop.

182
00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:22,049
Or a vasectomy
clinic.

183
00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:27,054
There he is!

184
00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:28,430
Heya, partner.

185
00:06:28,514 --> 00:06:30,015
What's up, guys?

186
00:06:30,099 --> 00:06:32,101
Nothing,
nothing at all.

187
00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:33,852
Just came here
for a drink.

188
00:06:33,936 --> 00:06:36,396
Oh, and I think I'll
check my Ringer profile.

189
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:37,397
You're on Ringer?

190
00:06:37,481 --> 00:06:38,899
Isn't it the best?

191
00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:40,442
Are you guys swamped
with messages?

192
00:06:40,526 --> 00:06:42,111
Not swamped...

193
00:06:42,194 --> 00:06:43,529
exactly.

194
00:06:43,612 --> 00:06:45,447
I've been getting
constant messages

195
00:06:45,531 --> 00:06:46,657
since I joined.

196
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,158
[ding dong]

197
00:06:48,242 --> 00:06:50,577
[Lacey]
She's stunning.

198
00:06:50,661 --> 00:06:52,079
You're not even
going to read it?

199
00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:54,248
Wouldn't be fair
to let her cut in line.

200
00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:56,582
There's fifty in front of her.

201
00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:57,501
Fifty?

202
00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:09,054
[Karen] Babe...
babe... babe...

203
00:07:09,138 --> 00:07:10,806
It's like a babe faucet.

204
00:07:10,889 --> 00:07:12,474
And it only runs hot.

205
00:07:12,558 --> 00:07:14,309
Why aren't you dating her?

206
00:07:14,393 --> 00:07:16,228
It says here
she's a bikini model

207
00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:17,771
slash hedge fund manager.

208
00:07:17,855 --> 00:07:19,356
Hedges are boring.

209
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,650
Plus she likes
long walks on the beach.

210
00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:23,360
I hate getting sand
in my shoes.

211
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,112
This one used to
work at the UN

212
00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:26,738
and loves craft beer.

213
00:07:26,822 --> 00:07:29,491
Sounds like
an unemployed drunk.

214
00:07:29,575 --> 00:07:30,826
Have you dated any of these

215
00:07:30,909 --> 00:07:32,661
disgusting
pillars of perfection?

216
00:07:32,744 --> 00:07:34,371
Haven't even
read their messages.

217
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,915
Guess I should start.

218
00:07:36,999 --> 00:07:38,834
Work, work, work.

219
00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:40,502
How does he have
so many options

220
00:07:40,586 --> 00:07:42,337
and we still have none?

221
00:07:42,421 --> 00:07:43,338
You three here

222
00:07:43,422 --> 00:07:45,382
about the meeting
for the empty lot?

223
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,509
It's not like we have
anything else going on.

224
00:07:47,593 --> 00:07:49,636
Thanks for coming, everyone.

225
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:53,182
It's good to know our concerns
about the lot are shared.

226
00:07:53,265 --> 00:07:56,268
Our biggest fear is not knowing
who purchased the empty lot

227
00:07:56,351 --> 00:07:57,769
and what their plans are.

228
00:07:57,853 --> 00:08:00,314
One possibility
you haven't considered

229
00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:02,441
is a nudist sex cult.

230
00:08:02,524 --> 00:08:03,692
[everyone gasping]

231
00:08:03,775 --> 00:08:05,277
How nudist
are we talking?

232
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:06,653
Like, just vests?

233
00:08:06,737 --> 00:08:07,821
Vests? Why would--

234
00:08:07,905 --> 00:08:09,448
Enough talk.

235
00:08:09,531 --> 00:08:10,616
We need action!

236
00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:11,909
Time to protest!

237
00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:12,951
Who's with us?

238
00:08:13,035 --> 00:08:14,453
[all] Protest! Woohoo!

239
00:08:14,536 --> 00:08:17,247
We're going to show
whoever bought that lot

240
00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:20,375
that we care a lot
about our town

241
00:08:20,459 --> 00:08:22,377
and a lot less about their...

242
00:08:22,461 --> 00:08:24,213
lot.

243
00:08:24,296 --> 00:08:26,506
Huh. Slogans are hard.

244
00:08:26,590 --> 00:08:28,842
My apologies to that realtor.

245
00:08:31,386 --> 00:08:34,431
Sorry I'm not drunk,
but I had to drive here.

246
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:35,682
Why would you get drunk?

247
00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:37,934
I was researching
how to protest,

248
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:39,102
and it said to make sure

249
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:41,313
you have enough
Molotov cocktails.

250
00:08:41,395 --> 00:08:42,397
What's in that?

251
00:08:42,481 --> 00:08:43,607
Is that like a Moscow Mule?

252
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,651
Sort of, but hotter.

253
00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:47,277
We're not getting drunk.

254
00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:51,198
All we need are signs,
some chanting,

255
00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:53,033
a traffic blockade...

256
00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:54,618
All the classics.

257
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,119
What do we want?

258
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,204
[all] A lot!

259
00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:58,580
How do we want it?

260
00:08:58,664 --> 00:08:59,915
[all] With nothing on it!

261
00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:02,960
Hank, put that down.

262
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,002
[grumbling]

263
00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:05,420
Maybe blocking traffic

264
00:09:05,504 --> 00:09:07,631
works better
in a bigger town...

265
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:09,216
like one with traffic.

266
00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:11,468
Here comes traffic.

267
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:13,679
Everyone, hold the line!

268
00:09:15,389 --> 00:09:17,140
Never surrender!

269
00:09:19,851 --> 00:09:22,020
[door opening and closing]

270
00:09:22,104 --> 00:09:23,522
Mornin'.

271
00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:27,484
Well, well, well.

272
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:30,946
If it isn't Judy Justice here
to shut us down.

273
00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:32,406
I just heard your voices
out my window

274
00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:34,700
and thought I'd come
and say hi.

275
00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:35,993
What's this all about?

276
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,412
We're protesting
whoever bought the lot.

277
00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:39,788
What's it going to be?

278
00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:41,415
I was hoping for a burrito bar.

279
00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:43,542
Could be, who
the hell knows?

280
00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:45,877
You're protesting
even though you don't know?

281
00:09:45,961 --> 00:09:47,045
Could be something great.

282
00:09:47,129 --> 00:09:50,048
Could also be
a private security firm.

283
00:09:50,132 --> 00:09:51,341
Put you guys out of business.

284
00:09:51,425 --> 00:09:52,676
What?

285
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,469
-I don't want that!
-[ding dong]

286
00:09:54,553 --> 00:09:56,555
Sorry, it's
this dating app I'm on.

287
00:09:56,638 --> 00:09:58,265
Women keep messaging me.

288
00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:01,768
Hey, how about you go talk
to the realtor for us?

289
00:10:01,852 --> 00:10:03,478
You know, flirt a little.

290
00:10:03,562 --> 00:10:04,604
Yeah!

291
00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:06,732
Lay on the charm.

292
00:10:06,815 --> 00:10:08,442
Then ask who
bought the lot.

293
00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:10,360
And what they're
doing with it.

294
00:10:10,444 --> 00:10:12,321
Or how nude
they plan on being.

295
00:10:12,404 --> 00:10:13,864
Um, okay.

296
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,324
I'll do my best.

297
00:10:15,407 --> 00:10:17,451
This protest is a bust.

298
00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:18,493
No one's noticing.

299
00:10:18,577 --> 00:10:20,954
That's about to change.

300
00:10:21,038 --> 00:10:22,831
There's Nick from The Howler.

301
00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:24,333
Hey, the press is here!

302
00:10:24,416 --> 00:10:26,043
We're gonna make
front page!

303
00:10:32,674 --> 00:10:33,800
What are you
looking at?

304
00:10:33,884 --> 00:10:35,427
Davis's Ringer
profile.

305
00:10:35,510 --> 00:10:36,470
For tips.

306
00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:39,973
Woof! Women do love
a guy in uniform.

307
00:10:40,057 --> 00:10:43,769
Wow. He looks
so deep and mysterious,

308
00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:45,354
like he's really pondering

309
00:10:45,437 --> 00:10:47,647
the complexity
of life's big questions.

310
00:10:47,731 --> 00:10:49,274
I took that one.

311
00:10:49,358 --> 00:10:51,526
He's squinting
at the specials board.

312
00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:53,320
And that's
my mom's dog.

313
00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:55,614
All these photos
are misleading.

314
00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:57,074
Not misleading.

315
00:10:57,157 --> 00:11:00,035
Flattering.
The uniform, the puppy...

316
00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:03,205
it's a version of Davis
that hints at potential.

317
00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:05,040
[sighing]
I don't know.

318
00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:06,875
I think this app
is just stupid.

319
00:11:06,958 --> 00:11:09,086
Even I'm not
getting anything.

320
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:11,797
What do you mean,
"even I'm not getting anything"?

321
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,673
You think you're
so much hotter than us?

322
00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:17,928
I meant I'm also in uniform,
so that can't be the reason...

323
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:21,556
but you gotta admit,
I keep it tight.

324
00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:24,434
Are you implying that
I don't keep it tight?

325
00:11:24,518 --> 00:11:26,812
What am I?
Loose liver over here?

326
00:11:26,895 --> 00:11:29,106
That's not
what I meant...

327
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:31,400
but I obviously
have a toned body.

328
00:11:31,483 --> 00:11:34,027
I just don't show it
off on my profile.

329
00:11:34,111 --> 00:11:35,404
Trust me, if I did,

330
00:11:35,487 --> 00:11:37,155
my phone would be
dinging off the hook.

331
00:11:37,239 --> 00:11:38,198
Please.

332
00:11:38,281 --> 00:11:40,033
If I dolled it up
and laid it down,

333
00:11:40,117 --> 00:11:42,411
my profile would melt eyeballs.

334
00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:44,579
I just didn't want
to give anyone a heart attack.

335
00:11:44,663 --> 00:11:46,873
You think I couldn't
short-shorts my way

336
00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:48,125
into some action?

337
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,501
Show up for the sugar,

338
00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:51,211
stick around for the brains.

339
00:11:51,294 --> 00:11:54,840
Well, if we're
all done here,

340
00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:56,967
I have to go
water my...

341
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,051
laundry.

342
00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:02,347
I too have unrelated
work chores.

343
00:12:02,431 --> 00:12:04,683
I ditto that... also.

344
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:09,938
Am I in trouble?

345
00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:11,398
Absolutely.

346
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:12,816
I already told the detective

347
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:14,776
where I was
the night of the murder.

348
00:12:14,860 --> 00:12:16,278
My alibi is rock solid.

349
00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:17,320
Murder?

350
00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:19,322
No, no, sorry.

351
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:20,907
That's not what this is about.

352
00:12:20,991 --> 00:12:23,743
This is about you and I
getting down to business.

353
00:12:23,827 --> 00:12:26,121
Oh, you're a stripper.

354
00:12:26,204 --> 00:12:27,372
It's not my birthday...

355
00:12:27,456 --> 00:12:30,375
Oh well, hit the music.

356
00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:31,751
I'm not being clear.

357
00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:33,712
I'm just here about a property.

358
00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:36,423
Well, good.

359
00:12:36,506 --> 00:12:37,799
What are you
looking for?

360
00:12:37,883 --> 00:12:38,717
Rancher?

361
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:40,051
Coach house?
Split level?

362
00:12:40,135 --> 00:12:41,178
Huh?

363
00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:43,221
Split-level rancher-style
coach house?

364
00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:45,557
Yes?

365
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:47,601
Any messages yet?

366
00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:49,478
None of your beeswax.

367
00:12:49,561 --> 00:12:51,354
Let's make it
my beeswax. Yoink!

368
00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:54,357
Ha! No messages.

369
00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:58,320
Oh, my god, nice tan filter,
Pumpkin Spice.

370
00:12:58,403 --> 00:13:00,614
Uh, what are you doing
to that poor donut?

371
00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:03,283
Did you make
Josh take this?

372
00:13:03,366 --> 00:13:04,951
[Josh] It was weird!

373
00:13:05,035 --> 00:13:07,913
You're one
to talk, Wanda.

374
00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:10,415
Did you photoshop
your legs?

375
00:13:10,499 --> 00:13:13,418
It's like you're auditioning
for a ZZ Top video.

376
00:13:13,502 --> 00:13:16,087
How dare you?!

377
00:13:16,171 --> 00:13:17,714
Nice eyelashes, Baywatch.

378
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:18,840
Did you mug a butterfly?

379
00:13:18,924 --> 00:13:21,176
Those eyelashes are mine.

380
00:13:21,259 --> 00:13:22,427
I have the receipt.

381
00:13:22,511 --> 00:13:24,513
And they help
soften my tight body.

382
00:13:24,596 --> 00:13:27,098
Is your tight body
sprawled on the hood

383
00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:29,476
because you got
hit by the car?

384
00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:31,436
How's the ring-
a-linging going?

385
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,230
Ooh, anyone eating that donut?

386
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:34,731
Lacey licked it.

387
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:36,233
[Josh] It was weird!

388
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:39,110
Well, if she licked it,
she can't really sell it.

389
00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:40,946
Dibs!

390
00:13:46,243 --> 00:13:48,703
So, are we
still protesting?

391
00:13:48,787 --> 00:13:50,205
Yeah, but now it's a sit-in.

392
00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:52,374
We can protest sitting down?

393
00:13:52,457 --> 00:13:54,417
Why weren't we doing this
the whole time?

394
00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:57,045
How'd it go with the realtor?

395
00:13:57,128 --> 00:13:58,713
I think I might've
bought a house.

396
00:13:58,797 --> 00:13:59,881
What about the lot?

397
00:13:59,965 --> 00:14:00,799
Wasn't a lot...

398
00:14:00,882 --> 00:14:01,841
under asking.

399
00:14:01,925 --> 00:14:02,801
You didn't find out
about the lot?

400
00:14:02,884 --> 00:14:04,052
No.

401
00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:06,012
That woman is cagey.

402
00:14:06,096 --> 00:14:07,222
She may have murdered somebody.

403
00:14:07,305 --> 00:14:09,641
It's time
for drastic measures.

404
00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:11,601
We have to buy back the lot.

405
00:14:11,685 --> 00:14:13,770
If we spread the cost
between all of us,

406
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:14,896
it wouldn't be much.

407
00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:16,398
Who's with me?

408
00:14:16,481 --> 00:14:18,817
We don't even know what we're
preventing from being built.

409
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:22,195
Stop being afraid
of not changing.

410
00:14:22,279 --> 00:14:25,574
Have the courage
to embrace the status quo.

411
00:14:25,657 --> 00:14:28,451
Status quo! Status quo!

412
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:32,205
Status quo! Status quo!

413
00:14:32,289 --> 00:14:33,582
Shouldn't we stand
for the chanting?

414
00:14:33,665 --> 00:14:35,292
My leg's asleep.

415
00:14:42,799 --> 00:14:44,301
Hey, Lacey, can I get a refill?

416
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,928
Pot's right there.
Knock yourself out.

417
00:14:47,012 --> 00:14:48,471
Why so bummed?

418
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:49,848
Still no dingles or dongles?

419
00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:51,099
[typing]

420
00:14:51,182 --> 00:14:52,017
What are you typing?

421
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:54,352
Just fixing
something in my bio.

422
00:14:54,436 --> 00:14:55,770
You don't have a purple heart.

423
00:14:55,854 --> 00:14:57,063
I do too.

424
00:14:57,147 --> 00:14:59,274
Yeah, a purple heart
throw pillow.

425
00:14:59,357 --> 00:15:00,275
That I gave you.

426
00:15:00,358 --> 00:15:01,359
So you admit it.

427
00:15:01,443 --> 00:15:03,069
Besides, your
profile claims

428
00:15:03,153 --> 00:15:06,156
you're the CEO of The
Ruby Cafe Franchise.

429
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:09,117
This could be the first
of many more to come.

430
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:11,661
That's not a lie.
It's a premonition.

431
00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:13,747
This just in.

432
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:16,249
Says here Wanda
can do the splits.

433
00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:18,251
Really?
The splits?

434
00:15:18,335 --> 00:15:20,754
Why don't you
demonstrate right now?

435
00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:22,339
I'm not wearing
the right pants.

436
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:24,299
I'll waive The Ruby's
no pants policy

437
00:15:24,382 --> 00:15:25,300
just this once.

438
00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:27,469
-[alert sounding]
-Ha! Bingo.

439
00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:29,262
A gentleman caller.

440
00:15:29,346 --> 00:15:31,598
Ah, it's just an ad
for stretchy pants.

441
00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:33,725
Man, they really do eavesdrop.

442
00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:35,018
Don't tell me you guys

443
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:37,562
have been exaggerating
your profiles.

444
00:15:37,646 --> 00:15:39,064
There's a name for that.

445
00:15:39,147 --> 00:15:40,357
It's crab fishing...

446
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:41,524
or something like that.

447
00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,026
I overheard
some younger people.

448
00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:45,820
My point is, you don't want
to meet up with a guy

449
00:15:45,904 --> 00:15:47,572
and have him expecting...

450
00:15:48,573 --> 00:15:49,491
Crabs?

451
00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:51,826
No. Expecting
something less...

452
00:15:51,910 --> 00:15:53,328
accurate.

453
00:15:53,411 --> 00:15:57,332
If I had time to sit in the sun
for 3 to 11 hours a day,

454
00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:58,917
I could be this tan...

455
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,044
Or whatever colour this is.

456
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:01,961
And...
[straining]

457
00:16:02,045 --> 00:16:03,630
voilà.

458
00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:05,924
I can do the splits.

459
00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:08,093
[straining]

460
00:16:08,176 --> 00:16:11,388
I never claimed
I could get back up.

461
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:12,889
Can somebody help me up?

462
00:16:14,224 --> 00:16:15,558
[phone ringing]

463
00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:17,435
Rouleau Realty...

464
00:16:17,519 --> 00:16:19,396
where we don't roll over
while makin' deals.

465
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,731
Emma Leroy
from Dog River here,

466
00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:23,566
calling again about the lot.

467
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:24,526
I'd like to make an offer.

468
00:16:24,609 --> 00:16:26,194
But it's not for sale.

469
00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:30,365
Is it for sale if I'm offering
six thousand dollars?

470
00:16:30,448 --> 00:16:32,033
Wow.

471
00:16:32,117 --> 00:16:34,160
Let me talk to the owner
and call you back.

472
00:16:34,244 --> 00:16:36,079
She's checking.

473
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:37,497
Uh, speaking of checking,

474
00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:39,457
I'm between bank accounts
right now,

475
00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:42,001
and, uh, careers, so...

476
00:16:42,085 --> 00:16:44,003
We get it, you're broke.

477
00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:45,463
So am I.

478
00:16:45,547 --> 00:16:47,507
I can't afford another house.

479
00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:50,176
Talking to women?
It's expensive.

480
00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:52,721
This is why I haven't answered
anyone on that dating app.

481
00:16:52,804 --> 00:16:54,431
You don't need an app!

482
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:58,393
Just sally up to the first
half-decent woman you see

483
00:16:58,476 --> 00:17:00,520
and say "you'll do."

484
00:17:00,603 --> 00:17:02,355
"Half-decent"?

485
00:17:02,439 --> 00:17:04,523
How would you like
half a foot in your--

486
00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:06,151
[phone ringing]

487
00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:08,403
Hello?

488
00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:09,863
Great!

489
00:17:09,945 --> 00:17:11,781
I'll transfer the funds
immediately.

490
00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:13,407
We got a deal!

491
00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:18,913
[gasping]
Karen.

492
00:17:18,997 --> 00:17:20,290
Everything okay?

493
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:23,792
Oh, are you noticing
my eyelashes?

494
00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:25,878
They're attractive.

495
00:17:25,962 --> 00:17:27,797
If you say so.

496
00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:30,049
What can I getcha,
Thumper?

497
00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:32,802
Maybe a free drink
for brightening up the place?

498
00:17:32,886 --> 00:17:35,054
Did someone say free drink?

499
00:17:38,266 --> 00:17:39,100
Uh-oh!

500
00:17:39,184 --> 00:17:40,435
Hey! Loose carpet.

501
00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:41,478
You okay?

502
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:42,729
Those shoes look...

503
00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:44,189
uh, new.

504
00:17:44,272 --> 00:17:46,649
Wha? These old things?

505
00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:48,109
I wear these all the time.

506
00:17:48,193 --> 00:17:49,402
Love them.

507
00:17:49,486 --> 00:17:52,405
Almost as much as Lacey
loves drugstore bronzer.

508
00:17:52,489 --> 00:17:56,201
I don't know what
you're talking about.

509
00:17:56,284 --> 00:17:59,329
I just spent
some time in the sun,

510
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:01,164
working on the deck today.

511
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:03,958
This is au naturel.

512
00:18:04,042 --> 00:18:05,752
Whoa.

513
00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:08,171
Am I in the bar
from Star Wars?

514
00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:09,672
What's that
supposed to mean?

515
00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:11,674
We're just hanging out.

516
00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:13,092
Being ourselves.

517
00:18:13,176 --> 00:18:15,345
Potential versions
of ourselves.

518
00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:16,554
All right, then.

519
00:18:16,638 --> 00:18:18,306
Two two-fours of beer, Phil.

520
00:18:18,389 --> 00:18:20,308
The version of Wanda I know

521
00:18:20,391 --> 00:18:22,685
wouldn't mind helping me
carry some beer out to my car.

522
00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:24,145
Not a problem.

523
00:18:24,229 --> 00:18:25,688
Aah! I'm down.

524
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:27,774
You deliver?

525
00:18:29,234 --> 00:18:31,069
Congratulations
on your purchase, everyone.

526
00:18:31,152 --> 00:18:32,070
Have a beer.

527
00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:33,363
On me.

528
00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:35,240
That's awfully
nice of you.

529
00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:36,866
And out of character.

530
00:18:36,950 --> 00:18:39,744
Well, as it turns out,
I also had a great day.

531
00:18:39,828 --> 00:18:42,372
I made two thousand bucks.

532
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:45,208
You haven't made two thousand
bucks in your life.

533
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:47,252
Actually,
I sold some property.

534
00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:48,837
The lot we're standing on.

535
00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:50,255
I'm the one you bought it from.

536
00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:51,214
What?

537
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:52,549
It was you?

538
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:53,758
Why didn't you tell us?

539
00:18:53,842 --> 00:18:54,884
I tried to,

540
00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:57,095
but you and Dad
jumped all over me.

541
00:18:57,178 --> 00:19:00,139
Yep, I paid three thousand,
sold it for five.

542
00:19:00,223 --> 00:19:02,308
But hey, what do I know
about real estate?

543
00:19:02,392 --> 00:19:05,061
Why would you buy
this worthless dirt pile?

544
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:06,521
For the same reason
you all did.

545
00:19:06,604 --> 00:19:08,314
I didn't want anyone to ruin it.

546
00:19:08,398 --> 00:19:10,441
Plus, I too
had my first kiss here.

547
00:19:10,525 --> 00:19:13,611
[groaning]

548
00:19:13,695 --> 00:19:15,822
In fact,
I had my first two-pound

549
00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:18,116
family-sized bag
of kisses there.

550
00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:19,993
Anyway, everything worked out.

551
00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:22,203
Lot stays the same,
and hey, free money.

552
00:19:22,287 --> 00:19:23,872
That's insider trading!

553
00:19:23,955 --> 00:19:25,915
I was outside
when I took the call.

554
00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:27,750
Ah, loophole.

555
00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:30,545
Wow, [chuckling]
did you get suckered.

556
00:19:30,628 --> 00:19:34,382
We paid the realtor
six thousand for the lot.

557
00:19:34,465 --> 00:19:36,551
She ripped you off
for a thousand bucks.

558
00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:37,510
What?

559
00:19:37,594 --> 00:19:38,761
Julie?

560
00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:40,138
Is that even legal?

561
00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:42,432
Depends if she was
inside or outside.

562
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:44,183
Still nothing?

563
00:19:44,267 --> 00:19:45,643
Nada.

564
00:19:45,727 --> 00:19:47,645
I don't like
saying this out loud,

565
00:19:47,729 --> 00:19:49,689
but maybe Brent had a point.

566
00:19:49,772 --> 00:19:50,648
Definitely.

567
00:19:50,732 --> 00:19:52,358
I don't want to meet any guy

568
00:19:52,442 --> 00:19:54,944
who's turned on
by this Oompa Loompa orange.

569
00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:56,779
I'm going to swap
my profile back.

570
00:19:56,988 --> 00:19:58,364
[both] Me too.

571
00:19:58,448 --> 00:19:59,532
Wait a minute.

572
00:19:59,616 --> 00:20:01,618
There's an "activate" button?

573
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:02,827
[beeping]

574
00:20:02,911 --> 00:20:05,580
Were we not activated
this entire time?

575
00:20:05,663 --> 00:20:07,373
[Lacey and Karen activating]

576
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:09,667
[ding-dong alerts chiming]

577
00:20:09,751 --> 00:20:10,627
[gasping]

578
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:12,086
There's so many
of them.

579
00:20:12,170 --> 00:20:14,130
Why are all these guys
holding fish?

580
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:16,382
This one's holding an eel.

581
00:20:16,466 --> 00:20:17,759
That's not an eel.

582
00:20:17,842 --> 00:20:19,427
-Ew!
-Gross!

583
00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:20,970
No, thank you.

584
00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:26,601
So after all this,

585
00:20:26,684 --> 00:20:28,811
you're going to sell
the lot to a developer?

586
00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:30,688
Damn right, buddy boy.

587
00:20:30,772 --> 00:20:33,399
You're not the only real estate
typhoon in this family.

588
00:20:33,483 --> 00:20:34,859
Money talks.

589
00:20:34,943 --> 00:20:35,902
[phone ringing]

590
00:20:35,985 --> 00:20:37,195
Rouleau Realty.

591
00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:38,571
Pun in progress.

592
00:20:38,655 --> 00:20:41,366
It's Emma Leroy again.

593
00:20:41,449 --> 00:20:44,077
We'd like to re-list
the lot in Dog River.

594
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:45,954
Big businesswoman like you

595
00:20:46,037 --> 00:20:48,247
must know some developers
you could get on board.

596
00:20:48,331 --> 00:20:52,085
Oh. Sorry. Ha ha!

597
00:20:52,168 --> 00:20:54,045
Word got out
about all the protests,

598
00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:56,589
made it unattractive to buyers.

599
00:20:56,673 --> 00:20:58,925
Plus, I've grown
to hate you people.

600
00:20:59,008 --> 00:21:00,093
Take care, now.

601
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:03,054
No luck, eh?

602
00:21:03,137 --> 00:21:04,889
You could try
calling a biker gang.

603
00:21:04,973 --> 00:21:05,848
Was that Julie?

604
00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:07,517
Did she mention me?

605
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:08,601
Is she angry?

606
00:21:08,685 --> 00:21:11,104
[♪♪♪♪♪]

607
00:21:12,814 --> 00:21:14,065
♪ I don't know ♪

608
00:21:14,148 --> 00:21:15,108
♪ The same things ♪

609
00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:16,401
♪ You don't know ♪

610
00:21:20,154 --> 00:21:22,073
♪ I don't know ♪

611
00:21:22,156 --> 00:21:24,117
♪ I just... don't know ♪

612
00:21:27,328 --> 00:21:29,497
♪ Ooh... ♪

613
00:21:29,580 --> 00:21:30,999
♪ It's a great big place ♪

614
00:21:31,082 --> 00:21:33,209
♪ Ooh... ♪

615
00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:35,003
♪ Full of nothin' but space ♪

616
00:21:37,380 --> 00:21:39,257
♪ And it's my happy place ♪

617
00:21:39,340 --> 00:21:40,174
♪ I don't know ♪♪♪