1
00:00:03,220 --> 00:00:04,482
[squawks]

2
00:00:05,483 --> 00:00:08,138
[♪♪♪]

3
00:00:12,708 --> 00:00:15,580
Look lively, ye filthy dogs!

4
00:00:15,624 --> 00:00:16,668
Keel the jibs!

5
00:00:16,712 --> 00:00:18,061
Shiver the timbers!

6
00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:19,671
Fire the cannons!

7
00:00:19,715 --> 00:00:21,586
We are.

8
00:00:21,630 --> 00:00:22,848
Oh, is that
what that noise is?

9
00:00:22,892 --> 00:00:24,067
Yaaarrrbo!

10
00:00:24,111 --> 00:00:25,938
It's high time
I split your carcass

11
00:00:25,982 --> 00:00:27,679
from crown to crotch.

12
00:00:28,767 --> 00:00:31,161
Bring it on, Fat Beard!

13
00:00:31,205 --> 00:00:32,162
Fat Beard?

14
00:00:32,206 --> 00:00:33,120
I don't have a beard.

15
00:00:33,163 --> 00:00:34,599
Distracted you!

16
00:00:34,643 --> 00:00:35,861
Ow! What the hell?

17
00:00:35,905 --> 00:00:38,299
Jeez, Hank, it's
a game of Battleship,

18
00:00:38,342 --> 00:00:40,127
not friggin' Karateship!

19
00:00:40,170 --> 00:00:41,215
Sorry, Brent.

20
00:00:41,258 --> 00:00:42,781
My imagination
got away from me.

21
00:00:42,825 --> 00:00:43,869
You shouted "Fat Beard".

22
00:00:43,913 --> 00:00:45,567
What does that mean?

23
00:00:45,610 --> 00:00:47,264
No, I said... Bat beard.

24
00:00:47,308 --> 00:00:50,137
Like, uh, Batman...
with whiskers.

25
00:00:50,180 --> 00:00:52,226
Oh. Well, that
makes sense, then.

26
00:00:52,269 --> 00:00:55,751
♪ You'd think
there's not a lot going on ♪

27
00:00:55,794 --> 00:00:56,839
♪ Look closer

28
00:00:56,882 --> 00:00:59,233
♪ Baby, you're so wrong ♪

29
00:01:03,237 --> 00:01:04,499
Sorry again

30
00:01:04,542 --> 00:01:05,804
about punching you
in the noggin earlier.

31
00:01:05,848 --> 00:01:07,241
Ah, no biggie.

32
00:01:07,284 --> 00:01:09,112
Did you just use
the term "no biggie"

33
00:01:09,156 --> 00:01:10,113
in relation
to your head?

34
00:01:10,157 --> 00:01:11,375
I'm just glad

35
00:01:11,419 --> 00:01:12,985
we weren't playing
Hungry Hungry Hippos.

36
00:01:13,029 --> 00:01:14,726
You might've sacked me
in the marbles.

37
00:01:14,770 --> 00:01:15,945
Did you just use
the term "marbles"

38
00:01:15,988 --> 00:01:17,077
in relation
to your...

39
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:18,339
Whatcha talking
about, guys?

40
00:01:18,382 --> 00:01:20,080
Hank punched Brent
in the nose.

41
00:01:20,123 --> 00:01:21,124
Really?

42
00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:22,125
So you showed up
just in time

43
00:01:22,169 --> 00:01:23,387
to see Brent
punch Hank.

44
00:01:23,431 --> 00:01:24,432
-What?
-What?

45
00:01:24,475 --> 00:01:26,129
If Brent
doesn't punch Hank back,

46
00:01:26,173 --> 00:01:27,652
this will fester.

47
00:01:27,696 --> 00:01:31,178
It'll rot away at your souls
like a case of soul-rot.

48
00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:32,309
Oh no.

49
00:01:32,353 --> 00:01:34,137
I don't want
soul-rot!

50
00:01:34,181 --> 00:01:35,965
I also don't want
to get punched.

51
00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:37,184
Oh, relax, Hank.

52
00:01:37,227 --> 00:01:38,359
Brent's not going to--

53
00:01:38,402 --> 00:01:39,490
Wanda makes a
strong point, Hank,

54
00:01:39,534 --> 00:01:41,449
so to save
our friendship,

55
00:01:41,492 --> 00:01:43,494
I will punch you
square in the face.

56
00:01:45,322 --> 00:01:46,323
Aw, dammit.

57
00:01:46,367 --> 00:01:47,324
Okay.

58
00:01:47,368 --> 00:01:48,760
Put 'er there, pal.

59
00:01:48,804 --> 00:01:50,022
Make it quick.

60
00:01:50,066 --> 00:01:50,936
Oh, no, no.

61
00:01:50,980 --> 00:01:52,068
Not now.

62
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:53,417
Not tonight,

63
00:01:53,461 --> 00:01:54,549
but someday...

64
00:01:57,073 --> 00:01:58,553
soon...

65
00:01:58,596 --> 00:02:01,556
and you'll never know
when it's coming.

66
00:02:02,861 --> 00:02:04,820
[group]:
Here's to fall 'n' friends!

67
00:02:04,863 --> 00:02:08,128
Yeah, hard to believe
Wes passed away.

68
00:02:08,171 --> 00:02:08,954
Wes is dead?

69
00:02:08,998 --> 00:02:10,217
Since when?

70
00:02:10,260 --> 00:02:11,696
I thought that's what
you were toasting.

71
00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:13,045
You said
"fallen" friends.

72
00:02:13,089 --> 00:02:15,874
We were saying
"fall" and "friends",

73
00:02:15,918 --> 00:02:17,441
like autumn
and camaraderie.

74
00:02:17,485 --> 00:02:19,095
But sure,
Wes was a good guy.

75
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:22,142
We all have
our favourite Wes memories.

76
00:02:24,274 --> 00:02:25,232
Hey, Wes.

77
00:02:25,275 --> 00:02:26,233
Gimme a case of Pil.

78
00:02:26,276 --> 00:02:27,756
A 26 of gin, please.

79
00:02:27,799 --> 00:02:29,192
Purse-sized vodka.

80
00:02:29,236 --> 00:02:31,151
Tequila grande,
por favor!

81
00:02:31,194 --> 00:02:33,370
Did I leave my gloves
in here?

82
00:02:33,414 --> 00:02:34,197
Yep...

83
00:02:34,241 --> 00:02:35,590
great guy, ol' Wes.

84
00:02:35,633 --> 00:02:38,636
Yeah, when he wasn't
stealing your gloves.

85
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:41,248
I heard he barely left anything
for his widow.

86
00:02:41,291 --> 00:02:42,466
How does a guy

87
00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:43,685
who ran a liquor and insurance
store

88
00:02:43,728 --> 00:02:45,121
not have any life insurance?

89
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,383
Someone call Alanis

90
00:02:46,427 --> 00:02:48,255
and tell her
that's ironic.

91
00:02:48,298 --> 00:02:50,082
Good lord,
that was the '90s.

92
00:02:50,126 --> 00:02:51,519
Get over it already!

93
00:02:51,562 --> 00:02:52,433
Is-- Is that...

94
00:02:52,476 --> 00:02:53,434
That's Shirley.

95
00:02:53,477 --> 00:02:55,044
She's a huge Alanis fan.

96
00:02:55,087 --> 00:02:56,393
Even dresses like her.

97
00:02:56,437 --> 00:02:57,742
So, to be clear,

98
00:02:57,786 --> 00:02:59,570
you're saying that is not
Alanis Morissette.

99
00:02:59,614 --> 00:03:02,225
In my legal opinion, no.

100
00:03:02,269 --> 00:03:03,879
Well, I'm just glad
Oscar and I

101
00:03:03,922 --> 00:03:05,837
have a good
life insurance policy.

102
00:03:05,881 --> 00:03:06,838
Life insurance?

103
00:03:06,882 --> 00:03:08,188
I cancelled that.

104
00:03:08,231 --> 00:03:09,537
Without discussing it
with me?

105
00:03:09,580 --> 00:03:11,191
We're discussing it now.

106
00:03:11,234 --> 00:03:13,236
Life insurance
is a scam.

107
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:14,846
Now if you want to kill me
in my sleep,

108
00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:16,892
maybe you'll think twice.

109
00:03:16,935 --> 00:03:18,198
Twice at the most.

110
00:03:18,241 --> 00:03:20,112
We should have a fundraiser
for Wes' widow.

111
00:03:20,156 --> 00:03:21,113
We should?

112
00:03:21,157 --> 00:03:22,376
Well, of course.

113
00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:24,116
Isn't that how things work
in a small town?

114
00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:26,815
Then it's settled.

115
00:03:26,858 --> 00:03:28,556
[enthusiastically]
To Wes' widow!

116
00:03:28,599 --> 00:03:29,948
[all flatly]
To Wes' widow.

117
00:03:29,992 --> 00:03:30,949
-Oh, sure.
-Yeah.

118
00:03:30,993 --> 00:03:32,342
-Well, I guess so.
-Widow.

119
00:03:32,386 --> 00:03:34,910
[♪♪♪]

120
00:03:36,259 --> 00:03:37,565
Ugh.

121
00:03:37,608 --> 00:03:39,871
These new uniforms
are so thick and starchy,

122
00:03:39,915 --> 00:03:42,874
they're practically
Lacey's soup of the day.

123
00:03:42,918 --> 00:03:44,049
Yours bugging you too?

124
00:03:44,093 --> 00:03:45,877
No. I gotta pee.

125
00:03:45,921 --> 00:03:48,619
[sighs] Fine. I'll pull over
and you can go in the ditch.

126
00:03:48,663 --> 00:03:50,404
Isn't that the best part
of being a guy?

127
00:03:50,447 --> 00:03:53,233
That, and the higher pay
for no particular reason.

128
00:03:55,060 --> 00:03:57,976
[sighs] Why is this
taking so long?

129
00:03:58,020 --> 00:04:00,718
I can't go
with you talking to me.

130
00:04:00,762 --> 00:04:03,634
I didn't realize
you had such a shy bladder.

131
00:04:03,678 --> 00:04:06,246
Do you realize
you're still talking to me?

132
00:04:06,289 --> 00:04:07,725
Go off into
those trees, then.

133
00:04:07,769 --> 00:04:10,554
Unless you're scared a squirrel
might catch a peek.

134
00:04:11,860 --> 00:04:13,340
[unzips]

135
00:04:13,383 --> 00:04:14,906
[goes]

136
00:04:16,952 --> 00:04:18,606
[chitters]

137
00:04:25,308 --> 00:04:27,310
Hey. Brent here?

138
00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:28,311
I don't know.
Probably.

139
00:04:28,355 --> 00:04:29,573
He owns the joint.

140
00:04:29,617 --> 00:04:30,835
He's gonna pop out
from behind something

141
00:04:30,879 --> 00:04:31,923
and punch me
square in the face,

142
00:04:31,967 --> 00:04:32,881
isn't he?

143
00:04:32,924 --> 00:04:33,795
Here's hoping.

144
00:04:33,838 --> 00:04:34,665
Morning,
Hank.

145
00:04:34,709 --> 00:04:35,666
Ahh!

146
00:04:35,710 --> 00:04:36,972
Bit jumpy, aren't you?

147
00:04:37,015 --> 00:04:38,321
Yeah, you would be too
if you knew

148
00:04:38,365 --> 00:04:39,540
your best friend was gonna
punch you in the face

149
00:04:39,583 --> 00:04:40,628
at any moment.

150
00:04:40,671 --> 00:04:43,370
Oh yeah.
I forgot about that.

151
00:04:43,413 --> 00:04:45,067
Ah, well...
all in good time.

152
00:04:45,110 --> 00:04:46,851
No need
to rush into these things when--

153
00:04:46,895 --> 00:04:47,765
[gasps] Aah!

154
00:04:47,809 --> 00:04:49,027
Relax.

155
00:04:49,071 --> 00:04:50,986
I was just reaching
for a bag of chips.

156
00:04:51,029 --> 00:04:52,857
Ah, you're just trying
to freak me out.

157
00:04:52,901 --> 00:04:54,381
No, I'm not.

158
00:04:54,424 --> 00:04:55,512
Now, just lean in a bit,

159
00:04:55,556 --> 00:04:57,601
because my new puppet,
Mr. Fister,

160
00:04:57,645 --> 00:04:58,733
wants to tell you
a secret.

161
00:04:58,776 --> 00:04:59,777
Heya, Hank.

162
00:04:59,821 --> 00:05:00,735
Give us a kiss.

163
00:05:00,778 --> 00:05:02,084
Forget it, Fister!

164
00:05:02,127 --> 00:05:03,041
[footsteps recede]

165
00:05:03,085 --> 00:05:04,173
[chuckles]

166
00:05:04,216 --> 00:05:05,696
This is working out
wonderfully.

167
00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:07,524
Yeah, except you might
want to change the name

168
00:05:07,568 --> 00:05:08,873
of Mr. Fister.

169
00:05:08,917 --> 00:05:10,962
Why? It rhymes.

170
00:05:12,268 --> 00:05:14,836
Jeez, how long does it take
to...

171
00:05:14,879 --> 00:05:16,446
Davis!

172
00:05:16,490 --> 00:05:17,621
Let's go!

173
00:05:17,665 --> 00:05:19,362
Are you having zipper trouble,
or--

174
00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:20,320
Oop!

175
00:05:21,364 --> 00:05:23,453
An old-fashioned
booze still?

176
00:05:23,497 --> 00:05:25,325
Yep. Rum, I think.

177
00:05:25,368 --> 00:05:26,413
[slurps]

178
00:05:26,456 --> 00:05:27,588
So you're just
helping yourself?

179
00:05:27,631 --> 00:05:29,111
Had to fire it up
to see if it works.

180
00:05:29,154 --> 00:05:30,982
Not illegal
unless it works.

181
00:05:31,026 --> 00:05:32,680
I guess that makes sense.

182
00:05:32,723 --> 00:05:34,246
You might
want to get up.

183
00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:36,074
That's right around
where I peed.

184
00:05:36,118 --> 00:05:39,991
I can't believe Oscar
cancelled our life insurance.

185
00:05:40,035 --> 00:05:41,950
Now I have to re-apply.

186
00:05:41,993 --> 00:05:43,865
What if he drops dead
before then?

187
00:05:43,908 --> 00:05:45,736
What if, Heaven forbid,

188
00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:46,781
you go before Oscar?

189
00:05:46,824 --> 00:05:49,261
I've never been lucky that way.

190
00:05:49,305 --> 00:05:50,828
Hey,
how are the fundraising ideas

191
00:05:50,872 --> 00:05:51,829
coming along

192
00:05:51,873 --> 00:05:53,396
for Wes' widow?

193
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,355
All the good fundraising ideas
have been done in town.

194
00:05:55,398 --> 00:05:58,401
Dunk tank
to help drought victims!

195
00:05:58,445 --> 00:06:01,099
Bake sale to fight diabetes!

196
00:06:01,143 --> 00:06:02,231
Barn burning

197
00:06:02,274 --> 00:06:04,494
to raise money
for a barn raising!

198
00:06:04,538 --> 00:06:08,063
I don't get how burning a barn
even raises money.

199
00:06:08,106 --> 00:06:09,456
It's complicated.

200
00:06:09,499 --> 00:06:12,241
The fundraisers all seem
a little weirdly ironic,

201
00:06:12,284 --> 00:06:13,242
don't you think?

202
00:06:13,285 --> 00:06:14,852
You know what would
be ironic?

203
00:06:14,896 --> 00:06:18,987
A double murder in a small town
with no witnesses!

204
00:06:19,030 --> 00:06:20,118
Not really.

205
00:06:20,162 --> 00:06:21,598
Dammit! [slam, sigh]

206
00:06:21,642 --> 00:06:22,904
Anyway...

207
00:06:22,947 --> 00:06:25,297
I'll probably just end up
doing a 50/50 draw.

208
00:06:25,341 --> 00:06:26,516
50/50 draw?

209
00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:27,952
Those are a scam!

210
00:06:27,996 --> 00:06:29,519
Everything's a scam to you.

211
00:06:29,563 --> 00:06:31,739
Lacey, I'll gladly
give you a hand

212
00:06:31,782 --> 00:06:34,350
if it'll help Wes' widow
and annoy Oscar.

213
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,004
Well, that's great!

214
00:06:36,047 --> 00:06:37,919
Oh, we can do three tickets
for five bucks,

215
00:06:37,962 --> 00:06:40,008
or 20 bucks
for an arm's length.

216
00:06:40,051 --> 00:06:41,531
Offer not available
to Long-Arm Charlie.

217
00:06:41,575 --> 00:06:43,272
[yells] Why not?

218
00:06:43,315 --> 00:06:45,579
Oof! [dishes crash]

219
00:06:48,190 --> 00:06:49,409
Oh, hi, Emma.

220
00:06:49,452 --> 00:06:50,540
Hi, Fitzy.

221
00:06:50,584 --> 00:06:52,934
We're raising money
to help Wes' widow.

222
00:06:52,977 --> 00:06:54,152
You bet!

223
00:06:54,196 --> 00:06:55,458
Anything I can do
to help out a widow.

224
00:06:55,502 --> 00:06:58,983
So you'd donate money to me
if Oscar died?

225
00:06:59,027 --> 00:07:01,638
Hang on, it sounds
like this is for you.

226
00:07:01,682 --> 00:07:02,987
I was just asking.

227
00:07:03,031 --> 00:07:05,120
This feels like a trap.

228
00:07:05,163 --> 00:07:07,427
You mean you'd help her
but not me?

229
00:07:09,472 --> 00:07:11,692
Because
that's what it sounds like!

230
00:07:13,215 --> 00:07:16,479
I'm burning up
in this stupid uniform.

231
00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:18,002
I think it's asbestos!

232
00:07:18,046 --> 00:07:21,397
If it's asbestos,
you can't burn, genius!

233
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:22,964
I'm going to town
for some bottles.

234
00:07:23,007 --> 00:07:24,182
What do we need
bottles for?

235
00:07:24,226 --> 00:07:26,097
We need to do
a proper inventory

236
00:07:26,141 --> 00:07:29,710
of exactly how much illegality
is going on here.

237
00:07:29,753 --> 00:07:31,494
Why don't I go into town
for the bottles,

238
00:07:31,538 --> 00:07:33,670
and you stay here
and test the rum

239
00:07:33,714 --> 00:07:35,280
to see what proof it is?

240
00:07:35,324 --> 00:07:38,545
Because a higher proof
makes it more illegal.

241
00:07:38,588 --> 00:07:40,721
Nice work, rookie.

242
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,552
One... two... three...

243
00:07:45,595 --> 00:07:46,466
Aah!

244
00:07:46,509 --> 00:07:47,423
Three.

245
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:48,337
Aah!

246
00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:49,686
And how is this going,

247
00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:51,209
whatever this is
that you're doing?

248
00:07:51,253 --> 00:07:53,081
I'm trying to prepare
for Brent's punch

249
00:07:53,124 --> 00:07:54,952
by punching myself
in the face,

250
00:07:54,996 --> 00:07:56,214
but I'm too good
at ducking.

251
00:07:56,258 --> 00:07:57,128
Aah!

252
00:07:57,172 --> 00:07:58,390
Oof! [dishes crash]

253
00:07:58,434 --> 00:07:59,740
Come on!

254
00:07:59,783 --> 00:08:01,263
Oh, this is ridiculous.

255
00:08:01,306 --> 00:08:02,569
Nobody's going to punch you.

256
00:08:02,612 --> 00:08:03,874
Better safe than sorry.

257
00:08:03,918 --> 00:08:05,136
You probably

258
00:08:05,180 --> 00:08:06,573
should build up
a good face-callous.

259
00:08:06,616 --> 00:08:08,313
Here, let me draw you
a target.

260
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,664
Oh...

261
00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:12,666
A target, huh?

262
00:08:12,709 --> 00:08:15,277
You just gave me
a better idea.

263
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,888
Better than punching yourself?

264
00:08:17,932 --> 00:08:19,324
Okay, everyone.

265
00:08:19,368 --> 00:08:21,413
We're starting a 50/50 draw
to help Wes' widow.

266
00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:22,545
There's word
going around

267
00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:25,243
these 50/50 draws
are a Ponzi scheme.

268
00:08:25,287 --> 00:08:26,244
It's not
a Ponzi scheme!

269
00:08:26,288 --> 00:08:27,463
It's simple.

270
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:28,812
If you win, you get
50% of the money.

271
00:08:28,856 --> 00:08:30,945
Don't like those odds.

272
00:08:30,988 --> 00:08:31,989
[sighs] Look,
I'll start things off

273
00:08:32,033 --> 00:08:34,339
by buying a wingspan
for myself.

274
00:08:34,383 --> 00:08:35,297
Who's next?

275
00:08:35,340 --> 00:08:36,559
Not fair

276
00:08:36,603 --> 00:08:38,866
if you can't even use
your own arms!

277
00:08:38,909 --> 00:08:41,303
I heard it's
some kind of scheme.

278
00:08:41,346 --> 00:08:42,522
You heard it
from him!

279
00:08:42,565 --> 00:08:43,348
Oh!

280
00:08:43,392 --> 00:08:45,002
What are you
gonna do?

281
00:08:45,046 --> 00:08:46,395
Just watch.

282
00:08:46,438 --> 00:08:47,831
High-five

283
00:08:47,875 --> 00:08:49,398
if your favourite kind of dog
is a chili-cheese dog.

284
00:08:49,441 --> 00:08:50,486
I heard that!

285
00:08:54,838 --> 00:08:56,187
Ha! You hit me!

286
00:08:56,231 --> 00:08:57,188
Now we're even!

287
00:08:57,232 --> 00:08:58,146
What?

288
00:08:58,189 --> 00:08:59,495
No way. That's not fair!

289
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:00,583
Fair schmair,
buddy boy.

290
00:09:00,627 --> 00:09:01,584
It's all over.

291
00:09:01,628 --> 00:09:02,890
You're my witness,
Wanda.

292
00:09:02,933 --> 00:09:03,891
Witness to what?

293
00:09:03,934 --> 00:09:04,892
That was a slap.

294
00:09:04,935 --> 00:09:05,893
She's right.

295
00:09:05,936 --> 00:09:07,547
A slap isn't a punch.

296
00:09:07,590 --> 00:09:09,287
I mean, babies get slapped
when they're five seconds old.

297
00:09:09,331 --> 00:09:11,725
You ever see a doctor
punch a baby?

298
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,076
Are we doing this, or what?

299
00:09:15,119 --> 00:09:16,120
[gulp]

300
00:09:16,164 --> 00:09:17,600
I can't even imagine it.

301
00:09:17,644 --> 00:09:19,907
No, we're back at square one,
like Wanda said.

302
00:09:19,950 --> 00:09:21,430
Well... I didn't say that.

303
00:09:21,473 --> 00:09:23,127
You still owe Hank a punch.

304
00:09:23,171 --> 00:09:24,607
But now Hank owes you
a slap.

305
00:09:24,651 --> 00:09:26,174
Oh-ho-ho, baby!

306
00:09:26,217 --> 00:09:27,697
I get to slap
that big meaty mug

307
00:09:27,741 --> 00:09:28,916
whenever I want.

308
00:09:28,959 --> 00:09:30,657
This is gonna
be great.

309
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:34,051
It'll be the greatest spectacle
in the history of Dog River,

310
00:09:34,095 --> 00:09:37,054
and I shall call it...
Slappunchalooza!

311
00:09:37,098 --> 00:09:40,101
[laughs, snorts]

312
00:09:40,144 --> 00:09:42,059
Slap-punch a loser.

313
00:09:42,103 --> 00:09:43,017
Get it?

314
00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:43,974
No.

315
00:09:44,018 --> 00:09:45,976
Yeah, well, you simpleton.

316
00:09:49,763 --> 00:09:53,244
Mm, yep,
at least 80 proof.

317
00:09:53,288 --> 00:09:55,507
You've been a naughty boy.

318
00:09:55,551 --> 00:09:56,334
I'm back,

319
00:09:56,378 --> 00:09:58,336
and I brought
these.

320
00:09:58,380 --> 00:10:00,425
We don't want our uniforms
smelling like booze

321
00:10:00,469 --> 00:10:02,123
when we bring it
to the evidence locker.

322
00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:05,039
You're really thinking
like a senior officer today,

323
00:10:05,082 --> 00:10:05,909
Karen.

324
00:10:05,953 --> 00:10:06,997
Put this on too.

325
00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:07,998
Why?

326
00:10:08,042 --> 00:10:09,217
It came
with the overalls.

327
00:10:09,260 --> 00:10:11,611
...could punch
someone too...

328
00:10:11,654 --> 00:10:13,047
[crowd murmuring]

329
00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:14,265
[pounding on door]

330
00:10:15,092 --> 00:10:18,182
[Western movie music
and sound effects]

331
00:10:24,101 --> 00:10:25,929
Brent.

332
00:10:25,973 --> 00:10:27,017
Hank.

333
00:10:27,061 --> 00:10:28,845
Lovely weather
we're having.

334
00:10:28,889 --> 00:10:30,325
Fair to middling.

335
00:10:30,368 --> 00:10:31,587
Radio was saying

336
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,807
we might get a bit of rain
in the... south!

337
00:10:33,850 --> 00:10:35,460
[crowd gasps]

338
00:10:35,504 --> 00:10:36,984
[crowd]: Aww...

339
00:10:37,027 --> 00:10:38,550
You're pointing north.

340
00:10:38,594 --> 00:10:39,769
Just so you know,

341
00:10:39,813 --> 00:10:41,423
I'm not worried
about your little slap.

342
00:10:41,466 --> 00:10:43,207
You ever hear the term
"slap on the wrist"?

343
00:10:43,251 --> 00:10:46,080
It literally means "a soft,
insignificant punishment

344
00:10:46,123 --> 00:10:48,648
doled out by a simpleton
in a backward ballcap".

345
00:10:48,691 --> 00:10:51,868
Yeah, well, "punch" means
a fruity refreshing drink,

346
00:10:51,912 --> 00:10:54,131
so I'm not worried
either.

347
00:10:54,175 --> 00:10:55,002
Papaya!

348
00:10:55,045 --> 00:10:56,220
[crowd gasps]

349
00:10:56,264 --> 00:10:57,657
[crowd]: Aw.

350
00:10:57,700 --> 00:10:58,745
Come on.

351
00:10:58,788 --> 00:11:00,703
You okay, pal? Huh?

352
00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:02,357
We've got adult diapers
next door

353
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:03,445
if you need 'em.

354
00:11:03,488 --> 00:11:04,576
I've got my own.

355
00:11:05,839 --> 00:11:06,883
Wanda,
what's this nonsense

356
00:11:06,927 --> 00:11:08,189
about Brent and Hank

357
00:11:08,232 --> 00:11:10,104
and the slapping
and the punching?

358
00:11:10,147 --> 00:11:11,279
How'd you hear
about that?

359
00:11:11,322 --> 00:11:12,280
From your mass text.

360
00:11:12,323 --> 00:11:13,237
Good.

361
00:11:13,281 --> 00:11:14,325
I was hoping
that would work.

362
00:11:14,369 --> 00:11:15,675
It's been fun so far.

363
00:11:15,718 --> 00:11:17,589
Well, it's disrupting
town business.

364
00:11:17,633 --> 00:11:19,330
I had to wait five minutes
at the Foo Mart

365
00:11:19,374 --> 00:11:20,462
because Won Hu
was betting

366
00:11:20,505 --> 00:11:23,073
on who would
punch or slap who first.

367
00:11:23,117 --> 00:11:24,161
Who put money on who?

368
00:11:24,205 --> 00:11:25,162
Eventually.

369
00:11:25,206 --> 00:11:27,338
So... people
are betting?

370
00:11:27,382 --> 00:11:28,949
Keep 'em coming, boys.

371
00:11:28,992 --> 00:11:30,690
20 on Hank
slapping Brent first.

372
00:11:30,733 --> 00:11:32,692
40 says Brent
punches that loser.

373
00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:33,562
Yes!

374
00:11:33,605 --> 00:11:36,783
Slappunchalooza! Get it?

375
00:11:37,784 --> 00:11:40,047
Wasting my genius here.

376
00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:41,309
Who's next?

377
00:11:41,352 --> 00:11:43,572
Hey, Wanda,
want to buy a 50/50 ticket?

378
00:11:43,615 --> 00:11:44,878
Can't. No cash.

379
00:11:44,921 --> 00:11:45,966
[aggravated sigh]

380
00:11:46,009 --> 00:11:47,097
[♪♪♪]

381
00:11:47,141 --> 00:11:49,360
[counting quietly to self]

382
00:11:49,404 --> 00:11:50,405
[door opens]

383
00:11:50,448 --> 00:11:51,449
Oh, hey, Brent.

384
00:11:51,493 --> 00:11:53,103
You know
what I was thinking?

385
00:11:53,147 --> 00:11:54,191
You wish
you were taller?

386
00:11:54,235 --> 00:11:55,062
No.

387
00:11:55,105 --> 00:11:56,019
Well, then,
I got nothing.

388
00:11:56,063 --> 00:11:57,629
I was thinking

389
00:11:57,673 --> 00:11:59,457
that you should punch Hank
in front of the whole town,

390
00:11:59,501 --> 00:12:00,937
make a meal
out of it.

391
00:12:00,981 --> 00:12:02,547
Well, I am always intrigued
by the notion of a meal,

392
00:12:02,591 --> 00:12:04,898
but I'm having way too much fun
toying with Hank's mind,

393
00:12:04,941 --> 00:12:06,377
such as it is.

394
00:12:06,421 --> 00:12:08,249
Come on, we could make it
a public boxing match.

395
00:12:08,292 --> 00:12:09,511
Charge for tickets.

396
00:12:09,554 --> 00:12:10,686
Seriously?

397
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:11,600
I mean,
hasn't the boxing trope

398
00:12:11,643 --> 00:12:12,819
been done a thousand times

399
00:12:12,862 --> 00:12:14,603
in every lame sitcom?

400
00:12:14,646 --> 00:12:16,257
Which this is not.

401
00:12:16,300 --> 00:12:18,172
How about,
instead of a boxing ring,

402
00:12:18,215 --> 00:12:19,956
we make it a fighting cage?

403
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,698
Ooh,
a refreshing new wrinkle.

404
00:12:24,439 --> 00:12:25,745
That's the last one.

405
00:12:25,788 --> 00:12:27,268
Let's bring this load
back to the station

406
00:12:27,311 --> 00:12:29,052
and wrap this case up.

407
00:12:29,096 --> 00:12:29,879
Wait!

408
00:12:29,923 --> 00:12:30,880
Um...

409
00:12:30,924 --> 00:12:32,882
don't these bottles need labels?

410
00:12:32,926 --> 00:12:35,363
Something that indicates
what the evidence is

411
00:12:35,406 --> 00:12:38,453
and which hero officer
seized it?

412
00:12:38,496 --> 00:12:40,107
I'll go make some labels.

413
00:12:40,150 --> 00:12:42,544
You are sharp as a tack today!

414
00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:44,589
[quietly]
Good thing you aren't.

415
00:12:51,945 --> 00:12:55,339
Wanda, how'd you
build this so fast?

416
00:12:55,383 --> 00:12:56,340
Dunno.

417
00:12:56,384 --> 00:12:57,428
Lately I feel
unrestrained

418
00:12:57,472 --> 00:12:59,213
by the limitations
of real life.

419
00:12:59,256 --> 00:13:01,650
Well, I need to sell
my 50/50 tickets,

420
00:13:01,693 --> 00:13:03,086
so I hope
people show up.

421
00:13:03,130 --> 00:13:04,087
Don't worry.

422
00:13:04,131 --> 00:13:05,088
They will.

423
00:13:05,132 --> 00:13:06,829
[wind whooshes]

424
00:13:06,873 --> 00:13:08,483
[rustling]

425
00:13:09,919 --> 00:13:10,877
[Lacey]: Wow.

426
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:13,618
How did you know
they'd come?

427
00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:14,837
It's a sporting event.

428
00:13:14,881 --> 00:13:15,925
In a cornfield.

429
00:13:15,969 --> 00:13:18,232
Don't make me say it.

430
00:13:18,275 --> 00:13:19,668
[crowd buzzing with excitement]

431
00:13:19,711 --> 00:13:22,062
Ladies and gentlemen!

432
00:13:22,105 --> 00:13:26,980
Welcome to the first annual
Dog River Slappunchalooza!

433
00:13:27,023 --> 00:13:28,329
[crowd goes quiet]

434
00:13:28,372 --> 00:13:31,636
Did you all
sleep through the '90s?

435
00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:32,637
Fine.

436
00:13:32,681 --> 00:13:33,508
In this corner,

437
00:13:33,551 --> 00:13:35,031
weighing in

438
00:13:35,075 --> 00:13:36,250
at less than a 10-year-old girl
with food poisoning,

439
00:13:36,293 --> 00:13:38,643
Hank "The Septic Tank" Yarbo!

440
00:13:38,687 --> 00:13:39,688
[crowd shouts excitedly]

441
00:13:39,731 --> 00:13:40,602
Hey!

442
00:13:40,645 --> 00:13:41,864
Suck it up, jackass.

443
00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:44,475
I've got 20 riding
on you slapping Brent first.

444
00:13:44,519 --> 00:13:46,521
But if I slap first,
that'll make him mad,

445
00:13:46,564 --> 00:13:47,739
and he'll punch me harder.

446
00:13:47,783 --> 00:13:48,653
Hope so.

447
00:13:48,697 --> 00:13:50,786
I got 50 riding on that.

448
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:51,787
And in this corner,

449
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,223
weighing in

450
00:13:53,267 --> 00:13:56,009
at "Let's go swimming
but keep our t-shirts on",

451
00:13:56,052 --> 00:13:58,315
Brent "The Cement" Leroy.

452
00:13:58,359 --> 00:13:59,882
The Cement?

453
00:13:59,926 --> 00:14:01,710
I can't tell if
that's an insult or not,

454
00:14:01,753 --> 00:14:03,625
but the t-shirt thing
was, right?

455
00:14:03,668 --> 00:14:04,669
Assume it is.

456
00:14:04,713 --> 00:14:05,845
Use the rage,

457
00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:07,585
and remember
to keep your chin up

458
00:14:07,629 --> 00:14:08,891
and your wallet open.

459
00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:09,892
Wallet open?

460
00:14:09,936 --> 00:14:11,328
Want to buy
some 50/50 tickets?

461
00:14:11,372 --> 00:14:12,329
I'm kind of busy
right now.

462
00:14:12,373 --> 00:14:13,504
[frustrated sigh]

463
00:14:13,548 --> 00:14:15,419
All right,
no one leaves the cage

464
00:14:15,463 --> 00:14:17,987
until someone
has been slapped or punched.

465
00:14:18,031 --> 00:14:19,859
I might need to see
several slaps

466
00:14:19,902 --> 00:14:20,772
and multiple punches

467
00:14:20,816 --> 00:14:22,122
before I can call a winner,

468
00:14:22,165 --> 00:14:24,211
so get in there
and mix it up!

469
00:14:25,212 --> 00:14:26,909
All right,
this has gone far enough.

470
00:14:26,953 --> 00:14:29,520
How about you slap me first
and I'll let you win?

471
00:14:29,564 --> 00:14:32,480
Oh, you'd like that,
wouldn't you, Mr. Fister?

472
00:14:32,523 --> 00:14:34,177
Wow.
That does sound wrong.

473
00:14:34,221 --> 00:14:35,526
Fight! Fight! Fight!

474
00:14:35,570 --> 00:14:38,225
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Fight! Fight...

475
00:14:38,268 --> 00:14:40,227
Looks like we're going
to be here a while.

476
00:14:40,270 --> 00:14:42,011
Last one.

477
00:14:42,055 --> 00:14:43,230
Let's get these loaded up
in the car

478
00:14:43,273 --> 00:14:45,145
and back to the station.

479
00:14:45,188 --> 00:14:46,146
Damn!

480
00:14:46,189 --> 00:14:48,757
I mean, damn fine work.

481
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:51,194
"Sergeant Davis'
Spiced Evidence"?

482
00:14:51,238 --> 00:14:52,413
Uh-oh.

483
00:14:52,456 --> 00:14:53,849
That could be
copyright infringement.

484
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,851
Maybe you should redo
the labels.

485
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,548
Like, back
to square one.

486
00:14:57,592 --> 00:14:58,767
I'll wait here.

487
00:14:58,810 --> 00:15:01,552
[banjo tune plays]

488
00:15:01,596 --> 00:15:03,467
Answer your phone.

489
00:15:04,468 --> 00:15:05,513
Davis here.

490
00:15:05,556 --> 00:15:07,950
Davis, get the
squad car over here.

491
00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:11,736
We need some lights and sirens
to spice up this lame-o fight!

492
00:15:11,780 --> 00:15:13,042
[crowd]:
Fight! Fight! Fight!

493
00:15:13,086 --> 00:15:13,956
What?

494
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,305
I can't hear you

495
00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:16,741
with everyone yelling
"Fight! Fight! Fight!"

496
00:15:16,785 --> 00:15:19,353
There's a fight, in a cage,
in the cornfield!

497
00:15:19,396 --> 00:15:20,789
Understood!

498
00:15:20,832 --> 00:15:22,834
Oscar has mice full of rage
on his windshield.

499
00:15:22,878 --> 00:15:23,966
What?

500
00:15:24,010 --> 00:15:24,967
Let's go!

501
00:15:25,011 --> 00:15:26,360
Angry mice.

502
00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:29,885
You go first.

503
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,931
It's getting hot
out here.

504
00:15:31,974 --> 00:15:32,932
No.

505
00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:33,976
You know the saying.

506
00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:36,239
Punch before slap
is total crap.

507
00:15:36,283 --> 00:15:38,111
Slap before punch,
then we get lunch.

508
00:15:38,154 --> 00:15:39,982
This isn't a fight.

509
00:15:40,026 --> 00:15:41,331
It's practically a hug.

510
00:15:41,375 --> 00:15:43,768
Somebody needs
to fight somebody.

511
00:15:43,812 --> 00:15:44,944
That a challenge?

512
00:15:44,987 --> 00:15:46,510
Fight!
Fight! Fight!

513
00:15:47,424 --> 00:15:48,643
Huh...

514
00:15:48,686 --> 00:15:50,340
Bare-knuckle fighting
in a cornfield?

515
00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:51,385
Even worse.

516
00:15:53,517 --> 00:15:55,389
Someone's breaking the law.

517
00:15:55,432 --> 00:15:56,607
Lacey!

518
00:15:56,651 --> 00:15:57,695
I'm shutting down

519
00:15:57,739 --> 00:16:00,655
your Nigerian email
shell game con!

520
00:16:00,698 --> 00:16:01,830
That's not even
a thing.

521
00:16:01,873 --> 00:16:02,962
Hey, Davis,

522
00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:04,006
10 bucks says

523
00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:05,703
Brent falls asleep
standing up.

524
00:16:05,747 --> 00:16:06,574
Ooh!

525
00:16:06,617 --> 00:16:07,575
I'll take
that bet.

526
00:16:07,618 --> 00:16:09,098
Oh, sure.

527
00:16:09,142 --> 00:16:11,840
I can't sell 50/50 tickets,
but you can still gamble?

528
00:16:11,883 --> 00:16:12,754
Still.

529
00:16:12,797 --> 00:16:13,842
Still!

530
00:16:13,885 --> 00:16:15,148
We left the still
unsupervised!

531
00:16:15,191 --> 00:16:16,453
So?

532
00:16:16,497 --> 00:16:18,803
Whoever owns it
could come back and hide it.

533
00:16:18,847 --> 00:16:19,630
I'm going
to go get it.

534
00:16:19,674 --> 00:16:20,718
It won't fit.

535
00:16:20,762 --> 00:16:22,198
The trunk's full
of rum.

536
00:16:22,242 --> 00:16:23,199
So? Unload it.

537
00:16:23,243 --> 00:16:24,722
You're not going
to help me?

538
00:16:24,766 --> 00:16:28,030
Someone has to keep an eye
on that swindler Lacey.

539
00:16:28,074 --> 00:16:30,032
How far away
do you think I am?

540
00:16:30,076 --> 00:16:31,033
[grunts]

541
00:16:31,077 --> 00:16:33,035
Ooh-hoo, refreshments.

542
00:16:33,079 --> 00:16:34,732
I'll give you 20 bucks
for a bottle.

543
00:16:34,776 --> 00:16:36,082
I can't sell you
confiscated booze.

544
00:16:36,125 --> 00:16:37,344
That's illegal.

545
00:16:37,387 --> 00:16:39,215
Well, it's not like
you're in uniform.

546
00:16:39,259 --> 00:16:40,521
How about
you give it to me

547
00:16:40,564 --> 00:16:43,045
and I make donation
to the police fund?

548
00:16:43,089 --> 00:16:44,046
Huh?

549
00:16:44,090 --> 00:16:45,743
That does sound
less illegal.

550
00:16:45,787 --> 00:16:47,223
[laughing and chatting]

551
00:16:47,267 --> 00:16:48,094
I know...

552
00:16:48,137 --> 00:16:49,356
Pretty good...

553
00:16:49,399 --> 00:16:51,619
I don't think we're
the centre of attention

554
00:16:51,662 --> 00:16:53,055
anymore.

555
00:16:53,099 --> 00:16:55,884
What say we make this
a little more interesting?

556
00:16:55,927 --> 00:16:57,190
You mean
bet on ourselves?

557
00:16:57,233 --> 00:16:59,018
I meant take our pants off.

558
00:16:59,061 --> 00:17:00,149
Oh.

559
00:17:00,193 --> 00:17:01,237
No.

560
00:17:01,281 --> 00:17:02,673
All right, here you go.

561
00:17:02,717 --> 00:17:03,979
Enjoy.

562
00:17:06,634 --> 00:17:09,332
Please don't tell me
you sold all the bootleg rum,

563
00:17:09,376 --> 00:17:12,727
because I'm, like,
60 to 30% sure that's illegal.

564
00:17:12,770 --> 00:17:13,728
Is it illegal

565
00:17:13,771 --> 00:17:14,859
if the money buys us

566
00:17:14,903 --> 00:17:16,818
new cotton/bamboo-blend
uniforms?

567
00:17:16,861 --> 00:17:18,211
Besides,

568
00:17:18,254 --> 00:17:20,213
everyone loves Sergeant Davis'
Spiced Evidence.

569
00:17:20,256 --> 00:17:23,564
They do? All right!

570
00:17:23,607 --> 00:17:26,262
[Hank]: Oh, that cloud
looks like a bunny.

571
00:17:26,306 --> 00:17:27,829
That one
looks like two bunnies.

572
00:17:27,872 --> 00:17:29,352
Oh yeah!

573
00:17:29,396 --> 00:17:31,050
What are they doing
to each other?

574
00:17:31,093 --> 00:17:32,573
Hey, nimrods.

575
00:17:32,616 --> 00:17:33,443
Wrap this up!

576
00:17:33,487 --> 00:17:34,792
Even I'm bored now.

577
00:17:34,836 --> 00:17:36,881
Uh, yeah, we're still
fuzzy on the rules.

578
00:17:36,925 --> 00:17:37,839
Okay.

579
00:17:37,882 --> 00:17:39,014
Well, how about this?

580
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:40,537
Whoever
hits the other person first

581
00:17:40,581 --> 00:17:42,104
will get rum and a snack.

582
00:17:42,148 --> 00:17:43,105
If we hit each other
at the same time,

583
00:17:43,149 --> 00:17:45,934
can we both get rum
and a snack?

584
00:17:45,977 --> 00:17:48,937
Mm... For a soft guy,
you drive a hard bargain.

585
00:17:49,807 --> 00:17:50,808
[knuckles crack]

586
00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:55,683
[♪♪♪]

587
00:17:56,510 --> 00:17:57,946
[crowd gasps]

588
00:18:02,124 --> 00:18:03,299
The hell?

589
00:18:03,343 --> 00:18:05,040
It's a draw!

590
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:05,997
A draw?

591
00:18:06,041 --> 00:18:07,129
What does that mean?

592
00:18:07,173 --> 00:18:08,304
No one bet
on a draw,

593
00:18:08,348 --> 00:18:10,393
so it means the bookie
keeps the cash.

594
00:18:10,437 --> 00:18:11,916
[crowd groans]

595
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:13,353
What? This fight
was as much of a shakedown

596
00:18:13,396 --> 00:18:15,006
as your 50/50 thing!

597
00:18:15,050 --> 00:18:16,486
Aw, you people suck.

598
00:18:16,530 --> 00:18:18,706
Next round of rum
is on me!

599
00:18:18,749 --> 00:18:19,620
-Yeah!
-Yeah!

600
00:18:19,663 --> 00:18:20,925
Oh, sure,

601
00:18:20,969 --> 00:18:23,145
you like ol' Long-Arm Charlie
now, don't ya?

602
00:18:23,189 --> 00:18:24,320
Karen! Davis!

603
00:18:24,364 --> 00:18:25,539
Wes' widow.

604
00:18:25,582 --> 00:18:27,149
Someone stole
my... art installation

605
00:18:27,193 --> 00:18:28,194
from the woods!

606
00:18:28,237 --> 00:18:29,543
Can you describe it?

607
00:18:29,586 --> 00:18:31,110
Well, it's rusty metal,

608
00:18:31,153 --> 00:18:32,937
and it stands on four legs

609
00:18:32,981 --> 00:18:34,287
with a funnel and a spout
and...

610
00:18:34,330 --> 00:18:36,593
Does this art installation
in the woods

611
00:18:36,637 --> 00:18:37,855
make rum?

612
00:18:37,899 --> 00:18:40,031
Why would an art installation
make...

613
00:18:40,075 --> 00:18:41,032
Oh.

614
00:18:41,076 --> 00:18:41,946
Fine.

615
00:18:41,990 --> 00:18:43,383
Yes, I had a rum still.

616
00:18:43,426 --> 00:18:45,428
It was my inheritance
when Wes died.

617
00:18:45,472 --> 00:18:47,778
He said booze
is better than life insurance.

618
00:18:47,822 --> 00:18:49,171
It's fun insurance.

619
00:18:49,215 --> 00:18:50,390
Well, it's a shame

620
00:18:50,433 --> 00:18:52,609
we'll never find
the dirty handsome punks

621
00:18:52,653 --> 00:18:53,610
who stole it.

622
00:18:53,654 --> 00:18:54,611
Let's go, Karen.

623
00:18:54,655 --> 00:18:56,396
Wait, what's in
your trunk?

624
00:18:56,439 --> 00:18:58,093
Nothing... dead body.

625
00:18:58,137 --> 00:18:59,312
Really?

626
00:18:59,355 --> 00:19:00,922
What's in
the bottles?

627
00:19:00,965 --> 00:19:02,097
Vitamin water.

628
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:03,446
In other news,

629
00:19:03,490 --> 00:19:06,319
the police fund
had a big year for donations,

630
00:19:06,362 --> 00:19:08,364
and we'd like to give you...

631
00:19:08,408 --> 00:19:09,974
this much money!

632
00:19:10,018 --> 00:19:11,454
You raised
these funds for me?

633
00:19:11,498 --> 00:19:13,282
Hey, I'm the one
who organized the fundraiser,

634
00:19:13,326 --> 00:19:15,023
and we're doing the draw
right now.

635
00:19:15,066 --> 00:19:16,764
Emma, how much
did you raise?

636
00:19:16,807 --> 00:19:18,548
Let me count.

637
00:19:18,592 --> 00:19:19,636
Nothing.

638
00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:20,985
You didn't sell one ticket?

639
00:19:21,029 --> 00:19:22,117
Why not?

640
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:23,945
I'm talking hypothetically.

641
00:19:23,988 --> 00:19:26,600
If Oscar died,
would you give me money?

642
00:19:26,643 --> 00:19:29,168
Would how he died
make a difference?

643
00:19:29,211 --> 00:19:30,343
Wood chipper...

644
00:19:30,386 --> 00:19:31,866
Brutal and bloody.

645
00:19:31,909 --> 00:19:33,172
How much can I
put you down for?

646
00:19:33,215 --> 00:19:34,173
I don't know.

647
00:19:34,216 --> 00:19:35,348
People are cheap.

648
00:19:35,391 --> 00:19:37,393
Oh, fine,
we'll go with what I sold,

649
00:19:37,437 --> 00:19:38,916
and the winning ticket
for the charity draw

650
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,222
for Wes' widow...

651
00:19:40,266 --> 00:19:41,484
I have a name,
you know.

652
00:19:41,528 --> 00:19:45,314
...is 000 000 003.

653
00:19:45,358 --> 00:19:47,403
Oh! That's me! I won!

654
00:19:47,447 --> 00:19:48,883
Yay!

655
00:19:48,926 --> 00:19:50,363
I mean, you're the only one
who bought a ticket,

656
00:19:50,406 --> 00:19:51,668
but whoo-hoo!

657
00:19:51,712 --> 00:19:52,669
Whatever.

658
00:19:52,713 --> 00:19:54,018
10 bucks is 10 bucks!

659
00:19:54,062 --> 00:19:55,019
Yeah, but you're going
to donate your half

660
00:19:55,063 --> 00:19:55,933
to the widow,

661
00:19:55,977 --> 00:19:57,370
what's-her-name.

662
00:19:57,413 --> 00:19:59,589
That's what everybody does
when they win a 50/50.

663
00:19:59,633 --> 00:20:00,808
That defeats
the whole purpose.

664
00:20:00,851 --> 00:20:02,723
If I give her my share,
it's a total...

665
00:20:02,766 --> 00:20:03,724
Oh.

666
00:20:03,767 --> 00:20:05,813
I told you
it was a scam.

667
00:20:05,856 --> 00:20:06,988
You guys
are the best.

668
00:20:07,031 --> 00:20:08,119
Yeah.

669
00:20:08,163 --> 00:20:09,208
Even Wanda
raised money for you.

670
00:20:09,251 --> 00:20:10,121
She did?

671
00:20:10,165 --> 00:20:11,427
She sure did.

672
00:20:11,471 --> 00:20:12,863
Even the cash

673
00:20:12,907 --> 00:20:15,214
she's currently stuffing
in her bra.

674
00:20:15,257 --> 00:20:17,172
Anyone want to buy
a fighting cage?

675
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:19,740
I suppose I could use it
for the chickens.

676
00:20:19,783 --> 00:20:20,828
[all clucking]

677
00:20:20,871 --> 00:20:22,003
Yep...

678
00:20:22,046 --> 00:20:22,960
we should be safe
from the chickens

679
00:20:23,004 --> 00:20:23,961
in here.

680
00:20:24,005 --> 00:20:26,616
Why do they hate us?

681
00:20:26,660 --> 00:20:28,618
They hate our freedom.

682
00:20:28,662 --> 00:20:30,098
This is great.

683
00:20:30,141 --> 00:20:31,186
There's enough money here

684
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,796
to replace Wes' rum still

685
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:34,537
and re-open
the insurance agency!

686
00:20:34,581 --> 00:20:35,712
So I'll be able

687
00:20:35,756 --> 00:20:37,584
to get a new
life insurance policy

688
00:20:37,627 --> 00:20:40,761
before Oscar dies
a horrible, grisly death.

689
00:20:40,804 --> 00:20:43,372
I'm doing
what now?

690
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:46,027
Yet again,
stealthy Hank-o-potamus

691
00:20:46,070 --> 00:20:49,900
steals the delicious marble
from the ancient Brent-o-saurus.

692
00:20:49,944 --> 00:20:51,293
So now
I'm an old dinosaur?

693
00:20:51,337 --> 00:20:52,512
I win!

694
00:20:52,555 --> 00:20:54,296
Whoo-hoo!

695
00:20:55,210 --> 00:20:56,298
Great.

696
00:20:56,342 --> 00:20:57,734
Now we have to wait
for Wanda to--

697
00:20:57,778 --> 00:21:00,041
[shriek, crash, stomp]

698
00:21:00,084 --> 00:21:01,782
And that wraps that up.

699
00:21:01,825 --> 00:21:04,828
[♪♪♪]

700
00:21:07,831 --> 00:21:09,355
♪ I don't know

701
00:21:09,398 --> 00:21:10,312
♪ The same things

702
00:21:10,356 --> 00:21:12,314
♪ You don't know

703
00:21:15,839 --> 00:21:17,319
♪ I don't
know ♪

704
00:21:17,363 --> 00:21:20,322
♪ I just don't know

705
00:21:22,542 --> 00:21:24,805
♪ Whooo

706
00:21:24,848 --> 00:21:26,328
♪ It's a great big place

707
00:21:26,372 --> 00:21:28,199
♪ Whooo

708
00:21:28,243 --> 00:21:29,984
♪ For nothin' but space

709
00:21:30,027 --> 00:21:32,291
♪ Whooo

710
00:21:32,334 --> 00:21:36,334
♪ It's my happy place ♪