1
00:00:05,867 --> 00:00:15,498
♪♪

2
00:00:15,532 --> 00:00:18,570
Announcer: But the other thing
about this jail was...

3
00:00:18,604 --> 00:00:21,021
it could only afford
one wall of bars.

4
00:00:21,055 --> 00:00:22,401
Guard!

5
00:00:22,436 --> 00:00:24,783
Whenever a prisoner
wanted to escape,

6
00:00:24,817 --> 00:00:28,787
the guards had to lug it over
to him so he could try.

7
00:00:29,615 --> 00:00:31,962
Ugh. Ugh.

8
00:00:31,997 --> 00:00:33,723
Auuuugghhh!

9
00:00:33,757 --> 00:00:36,174
All right, pal.
You done here?

10
00:00:36,208 --> 00:00:38,417
Yeah, I'm good.
Thanks, guys.

11
00:00:38,452 --> 00:00:40,385
Yeah, yeah.

12
00:00:40,419 --> 00:00:43,043
Damn it, we supposed
to be on break.

13
00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:44,527
I mean, where's our rest?

14
00:00:44,561 --> 00:00:47,530
It's as though, despite the fact
that we are the jailers,

15
00:00:47,564 --> 00:00:51,051
in a sense,
we are in our own prison...

16
00:00:51,085 --> 00:00:52,742
of the mind.

17
00:00:52,776 --> 00:00:56,953
Oh, man.
What a thought!

18
00:00:56,987 --> 00:01:00,232
Announcer:
That's when Prisoner 72301

19
00:01:00,267 --> 00:01:02,200
figured out how to escape.

20
00:01:02,234 --> 00:01:04,478
Guard, bars!

21
00:01:04,512 --> 00:01:07,377
Do it now, or I say
something so profound,

22
00:01:07,412 --> 00:01:08,930
it'll blow every mind
in this joint.

23
00:01:08,965 --> 00:01:12,072
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy, easy.
Let's not get heavy here.

24
00:01:12,106 --> 00:01:14,212
I-I'm --
I'm bringing it.

25
00:01:14,246 --> 00:01:18,802
You -- Your head here.

26
00:01:18,837 --> 00:01:20,735
J-J-Just don't
say anything

27
00:01:20,770 --> 00:01:23,600
to upend my world view,
all right?

28
00:01:23,635 --> 00:01:25,326
I got kids.
I got kids.

29
00:01:25,361 --> 00:01:27,742
You know what
I always wondered --

30
00:01:27,777 --> 00:01:31,677
like, what's the deal
with society, bruh?

31
00:01:31,712 --> 00:01:35,440
Oh, man,
that's a trip.

32
00:01:36,855 --> 00:01:40,410
You're free!
No bars can hold you now, boys.

33
00:01:40,445 --> 00:01:44,759
Yah, boys! Yah! Yah!
Whoo-hoo!

34
00:01:44,794 --> 00:01:47,245
Where did he go?
W

35
00:01:47,279 --> 00:01:49,247
Aah!

36
00:01:49,281 --> 00:01:53,492
Aaaaaaaaaaaah!

37
00:01:53,527 --> 00:02:00,154
Aaaaaaaaaaah!

38
00:02:00,189 --> 00:02:04,158
Announcer: Then again, some
people are born victims --

39
00:02:04,193 --> 00:02:06,126
all of them.

40
00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:13,719
♪♪

41
00:02:13,754 --> 00:02:18,276
♪♪

42
00:02:18,310 --> 00:02:22,072
And some days, your whole life
flashes before your eyes,

43
00:02:22,107 --> 00:02:25,973
in real time,
starting with Day One.

44
00:02:26,007 --> 00:02:29,149
One last push, ma'am.
It's a boy!

45
00:02:29,183 --> 00:02:31,220
Oh! Oh, God.

46
00:02:31,254 --> 00:02:33,049
What?
Oh, no!

47
00:02:33,083 --> 00:02:34,568
What is it?!

48
00:02:34,602 --> 00:02:37,847
I'm sorry, ma'am --
he's a dirty pig.

49
00:02:41,885 --> 00:02:44,750
Announcer: But some accidents
are even worse...

50
00:02:44,785 --> 00:02:47,546
when the victim
doesn't deserve it.

51
00:02:47,581 --> 00:02:51,205
Sir?
Mr. Lem, can you hear me?

52
00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:53,483
Oh. Where am I?

53
00:02:53,518 --> 00:02:55,485
Who am I?

54
00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:57,177
Your name is Neil Lem.

55
00:02:57,211 --> 00:02:59,317
You've been in an accident.
You were driving,

56
00:02:59,351 --> 00:03:01,871
and a woman was
on the sidewalk without a bra.

57
00:03:01,905 --> 00:03:04,218
You took your eyes off the road
to ogle her breasts.

58
00:03:04,253 --> 00:03:07,187
Oh.You hopped the curb
and ran over a dog.

59
00:03:07,221 --> 00:03:08,671
Oh!And its owner.

60
00:03:08,705 --> 00:03:10,604
Oh, God.And his kids.

61
00:03:10,638 --> 00:03:12,537
Ohh!And their friends.

62
00:03:12,571 --> 00:03:14,124
Oh.
And their
pet hamster.

63
00:03:14,159 --> 00:03:17,542
But, miraculously,
we were able to save...

64
00:03:17,576 --> 00:03:19,129
only the hamster.

65
00:03:19,164 --> 00:03:21,373
I...was ogling?

66
00:03:21,408 --> 00:03:24,687
The good thing is you managed
to swerve back onto the road.

67
00:03:24,721 --> 00:03:26,447
Thank God.Straight into
a school bus.

68
00:03:26,482 --> 00:03:28,415
Ohh!None of those
kids survived.

69
00:03:28,449 --> 00:03:29,968
The parents
are devastated.

70
00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:31,866
Understandably,
many have bought guns...

71
00:03:31,901 --> 00:03:34,559
Ohh!...and are going on
shooting sprees all over town.

72
00:03:34,593 --> 00:03:36,940
I-I don't know who I am,
but I'm -- I'm --

73
00:03:36,975 --> 00:03:39,805
I'm sure I did not mean
to ogle a girl.

74
00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:43,084
Woman. Woman.
She wants to meet you.

75
00:03:43,119 --> 00:03:45,949
Meet meIt's the least
you could do.

76
00:03:45,984 --> 00:03:48,711
I mean, it seems like you
like her so much.

77
00:03:48,745 --> 00:03:50,230
We thought,
maybe you two

78
00:03:50,264 --> 00:03:52,162
meet under these tragic
circumstances,

79
00:03:52,197 --> 00:03:54,648
it bonds you into
an unlikely romance

80
00:03:54,682 --> 00:03:56,097
wherein you help
each other heal.

81
00:03:56,132 --> 00:03:57,720
Could be an amazing
love story.

82
00:03:57,754 --> 00:04:00,447
Oh. Um...I...Okay.

83
00:04:00,481 --> 00:04:02,414
Do -- Do I --
Do I look all right?

84
00:04:02,449 --> 00:04:04,140
Sure. Lila!

85
00:04:04,174 --> 00:04:05,762
Come on in, honey.

86
00:04:05,797 --> 00:04:07,902
Wait. W-When did
the accident happen?

87
00:04:07,937 --> 00:04:09,559
It was about
three hours ago.

88
00:04:09,594 --> 00:04:11,389
Why?She's just...

89
00:04:11,423 --> 00:04:13,287
older than I --I'm sorry.

90
00:04:13,322 --> 00:04:14,426
Is she not your type?No!

91
00:04:14,461 --> 00:04:15,669
I didn't --
I didn't mean...

92
00:04:15,703 --> 00:04:19,155
She's really vulnerable
right now.

93
00:04:19,189 --> 00:04:22,020
She's gone.
I hope you're happy.

94
00:04:31,132 --> 00:04:33,411
Sir?
Mr. Lem?

95
00:04:33,445 --> 00:04:35,136
Can you hear me?

96
00:04:35,171 --> 00:04:37,207
What...happened?

97
00:04:37,242 --> 00:04:39,175
You said some offensive
things to a woman,

98
00:04:39,209 --> 00:04:40,935
and the media got wind
of everything you've done.

99
00:04:40,970 --> 00:04:43,110
Mm-hmm.
There's been riots
across the state.

100
00:04:43,144 --> 00:04:44,767
The whole
country's in chaos.
Oh.

101
00:04:44,801 --> 00:04:46,113
But before
it got out of control,

102
00:04:46,147 --> 00:04:48,184
the police were deployed
to maintain the peace...

103
00:04:48,218 --> 00:04:50,186
Thank Christ for --...which means thousands

104
00:04:50,220 --> 00:04:52,947
of innocent citizens
have been shot quite dead.

105
00:04:52,982 --> 00:04:56,054
That's awful.
The human animal
will take only so much

106
00:04:56,088 --> 00:04:58,781
before they rise up to tear
down governments that oppress.

107
00:04:58,815 --> 00:05:00,161
-Ohh.
-Sensing weakness,

108
00:05:00,196 --> 00:05:02,025
the North Koreans
launched the first nuke.

109
00:05:02,060 --> 00:05:03,889
-Ohh!
-But after we retaliated,

110
00:05:03,924 --> 00:05:05,995
Iran, Russia, China,
Japan, India,

111
00:05:06,029 --> 00:05:08,031
Brazil unleashed
all they had.

112
00:05:08,066 --> 00:05:10,033
Most of Earth's
population is dead.

113
00:05:10,068 --> 00:05:14,521
Of the survivors,
90% are mutant-ed.

114
00:05:14,555 --> 00:05:16,350
The only thing
the globe agrees on

115
00:05:16,385 --> 00:05:19,560
is that this is all your fault,
and you must pay.

116
00:05:22,839 --> 00:05:25,394
Mr. Lem

117
00:05:25,428 --> 00:05:27,810
Where am I?
What happened?

118
00:05:27,844 --> 00:05:29,674
The mutants consider you
their God...Ahh. What?

119
00:05:29,708 --> 00:05:31,331
...presuming this was
all your grand plan

120
00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:33,885
to remake civilization with
their kind as our overlords.

121
00:05:33,919 --> 00:05:35,093
Ohh. Ohh.

122
00:05:35,127 --> 00:05:37,820
But we normals beseech you --
stand with us.

123
00:05:37,854 --> 00:05:39,684
Ohh. Ohh.Declare allegiance
to our resistance!

124
00:05:39,718 --> 00:05:41,651
Aah.Will you wave
our flag?

125
00:05:41,686 --> 00:05:44,516
I-I swear I'll never
ogle anyone again.

126
00:05:44,551 --> 00:05:45,724
Forget about that!

127
00:05:45,759 --> 00:05:47,174
You're the only
fertile male left --

128
00:05:47,208 --> 00:05:48,762
we need your help
to repopulate.
What?

129
00:05:48,796 --> 00:05:50,073
Come.
Give me some semen.

130
00:05:50,108 --> 00:05:51,489
Oh. Ohh.
Hurry. Come on.

131
00:05:51,523 --> 00:05:52,938
Hit me, stat!
Uh, okay.

132
00:05:52,973 --> 00:05:55,838
Do you have, like,
a

133
00:05:55,872 --> 00:05:57,529
Haven't you
ogled enough?!

134
00:05:57,564 --> 00:05:59,497
We've got medical
extraction procedures.No, no, no, no, no!

135
00:05:59,531 --> 00:06:00,912
Ohh!

136
00:06:06,296 --> 00:06:08,195
Ohh. Hello?

137
00:06:08,229 --> 00:06:09,852
Mr. Lem, you're up.

138
00:06:09,886 --> 00:06:13,269
Great. All's back to normal.
You're free to go.

139
00:06:13,303 --> 00:06:15,582
But the ogling?

140
00:06:15,616 --> 00:06:17,307
Turns out that
was a hoax.

141
00:06:17,342 --> 00:06:20,069
You're totally fine.
Exit's through there.

142
00:06:20,103 --> 00:06:23,797
Ohh. Uh.

143
00:06:26,903 --> 00:06:30,320
This is the worst hoax
I've ever been a part of!

144
00:06:30,355 --> 00:06:31,701
And I was in the camps.

145
00:06:31,736 --> 00:06:33,462
Oh!

146
00:06:33,496 --> 00:06:35,187
Guard!

147
00:06:36,568 --> 00:06:40,123
Announcer: The only way to
escape the prison of reality

148
00:06:40,158 --> 00:06:44,818
is to turn your life into a lie
so you are not you.

149
00:06:44,852 --> 00:06:47,752
You're a different person
making all this up

150
00:06:47,786 --> 00:06:49,995
in his journal
of fantastical fiction,

151
00:06:50,030 --> 00:06:54,241
a lonely loser
as pathetic as a poet.

152
00:06:54,275 --> 00:06:59,108
No, put that down!
Please, n-not poetry!

153
00:06:59,142 --> 00:07:00,903
Aaah!

154
00:07:00,937 --> 00:07:03,250
Where'd he go?
Where'd he go?

155
00:07:03,284 --> 00:07:05,908
Announcer: Life flashes forced
Officer Dale

156
00:07:05,942 --> 00:07:08,980
to recall
his first disappointment...

157
00:07:09,014 --> 00:07:11,016
how, since the age of 6,

158
00:07:11,051 --> 00:07:14,744
he yearned for a puppy
but his parents were allergic...

159
00:07:14,779 --> 00:07:16,263
to making him happy.

160
00:07:16,297 --> 00:07:19,369
So, instead, they had
his grandma move in,

161
00:07:19,404 --> 00:07:21,302
and Dale taught her some tricks.

162
00:07:21,337 --> 00:07:24,582
He trained Nana to sit up
and beg for her meds.

163
00:07:24,616 --> 00:07:29,172
She could shake...Here, Nana, Nana!
Good Nana!

164
00:07:29,207 --> 00:07:32,175
...catch a Frisbee
in her teeth.

165
00:07:32,210 --> 00:07:35,455
When she messed the rug,
he rubbed her nose in it

166
00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:39,459
until the foul of her
unpleasantness was gone.

167
00:07:39,493 --> 00:07:42,807
But when Dale took Nana
to the vet to get fixed,

168
00:07:42,841 --> 00:07:44,602
they discovered she had mange,

169
00:07:44,636 --> 00:07:49,538
and he had to put her out of his
misery and into his ecstasy.

170
00:07:51,056 --> 00:07:54,059
Weeks later, when his chum
got a 3-legged dog,

171
00:07:54,094 --> 00:07:58,167
Dale was jealous because he
could only afford a pet leg.

172
00:07:58,201 --> 00:08:02,896
It spent all day humping itself,
happy as a lark's arm,

173
00:08:02,930 --> 00:08:06,382
and even gave birth
to a litter of toe-lets...

174
00:08:06,416 --> 00:08:11,076
until the day it got hit
by a wheel.

175
00:08:11,111 --> 00:08:13,389
Doctors had to amputate
his whole body

176
00:08:13,423 --> 00:08:15,978
and replace him
with a wooden one.

177
00:08:16,012 --> 00:08:18,981
Other dogs mistook Sock
for a stick,

178
00:08:19,015 --> 00:08:23,226
so he contracted rabies
and went on a rampage.

179
00:08:23,261 --> 00:08:26,678
Witnessing such carnage
gave Dale a deep desire

180
00:08:26,713 --> 00:08:28,922
to create his own fate.

181
00:08:28,956 --> 00:08:32,857
But tragically, the urge
to conjure a better new world

182
00:08:32,891 --> 00:08:37,206
can turn even a decent
human being into a poet.

183
00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:41,175
Dale: The sun-dappled lark
crouched on a branch,

184
00:08:41,210 --> 00:08:44,558
admiring the brilliance
of the poet...

185
00:08:44,593 --> 00:08:48,079
No. That's ridiculous.

186
00:08:48,113 --> 00:08:54,395
The chipmunk crouched on a branch in awe of the poet.

187
00:08:54,430 --> 00:08:56,363
No, no, no.

188
00:08:56,397 --> 00:08:58,123
Hm. Hm.

189
00:08:59,055 --> 00:09:00,470
I know!There he is!

190
00:09:00,505 --> 00:09:02,852
Sir, we need you to come
with us immediately.

191
00:09:02,887 --> 00:09:05,268
Excuse me? I-I don't...No, we need your poetry.

192
00:09:05,303 --> 00:09:07,132
It's the only thing
that can save the world.

193
00:09:07,167 --> 00:09:08,789
Your poetry
really matters.

194
00:09:08,824 --> 00:09:10,722
It does?
Totally.

195
00:09:10,757 --> 00:09:13,035
The world needs
your poetry right away!

196
00:09:13,069 --> 00:09:15,209
For real?
Yes, and
the amazing thing --

197
00:09:15,244 --> 00:09:17,246
we're not making fun
of you at all.

198
00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:19,489
The government personally
requested that you,

199
00:09:19,524 --> 00:09:22,147
the best poet on earth,
come read his super not boring,

200
00:09:22,182 --> 00:09:24,115
not lame, not solipsistic,
indulgent,

201
00:09:24,149 --> 00:09:26,393
narcissistic, vapid,
deluded twaddle.

202
00:09:26,427 --> 00:09:28,084
Come on! Let's move!

203
00:09:28,119 --> 00:09:31,294
Oh, my God,
this is amazing.

204
00:09:31,329 --> 00:09:33,987
I know! It's incredible.
You're such a good poet.

205
00:09:34,021 --> 00:09:36,886
I always secretly hoped
this would happen.

206
00:09:36,921 --> 00:09:38,716
Oh, it's happening.
Let's go!

207
00:09:38,750 --> 00:09:40,821
This is so inspiring.

208
00:09:40,856 --> 00:09:42,927
Hang on.
I've got to write about this.

209
00:09:42,961 --> 00:09:44,584
But we need you!
Hold on.

210
00:09:44,618 --> 00:09:47,966
Words are coming --
slowly, but, oh, they're coming.

211
00:09:48,001 --> 00:09:50,072
Sir, we don't have time!

212
00:09:50,106 --> 00:09:52,730
You know, you're kind of
in my space right now,

213
00:09:52,764 --> 00:09:54,663
lagging my flow?

214
00:09:54,697 --> 00:09:56,319
Not sure if you've heard,

215
00:09:56,354 --> 00:09:59,529
but I've recently been
acknowledged by the military

216
00:09:59,564 --> 00:10:01,980
as a pretty important poet,

217
00:10:02,015 --> 00:10:03,913
so I can probably
get you fired.

218
00:10:03,948 --> 00:10:06,467
No. Please don't, sir.
I need this job.

219
00:10:06,502 --> 00:10:08,608
I have 52 children.Well, now you know

220
00:10:08,642 --> 00:10:10,471
there are some things
more important than sex

221
00:10:10,506 --> 00:10:14,268
with a whole bunch
of stupid, beautiful women.

222
00:10:14,303 --> 00:10:16,650
You really taught me
something today.

223
00:10:16,685 --> 00:10:17,927
How did you get so wise?

224
00:10:17,962 --> 00:10:19,619
I've had a lot
of lonely time

225
00:10:19,653 --> 00:10:23,657
to think up a lot of very wise,
um, thoughts...

226
00:10:23,692 --> 00:10:26,487
Oh, that's so cool....thoughts...thoughts...

227
00:10:26,522 --> 00:10:27,834
Anyway, we better go.

228
00:10:27,868 --> 00:10:30,112
World needs you and all.Yeah, right.

229
00:10:30,146 --> 00:10:33,218
My poem isn't finished.But, sir, the world!

230
00:10:33,253 --> 00:10:36,843
I need you to respect
my beautiful process.

231
00:10:36,877 --> 00:10:43,573
Aaaaah!

232
00:10:43,608 --> 00:10:47,198
Announcer:
And that was the day
that man never remembered

233
00:10:47,232 --> 00:10:50,546
to stop ogling the Earth.

234
00:10:54,170 --> 00:10:57,070
♪ There's blood in the kitchen

235
00:10:57,104 --> 00:11:00,487
♪ There's blood in the hall

236
00:11:00,521 --> 00:11:06,976
♪ There's blood in the parlor
where my lady did fall ♪

237
00:11:07,011 --> 00:11:11,601
♪♪