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00:00:03,394 --> 00:00:07,050
Announcer:
And as we know, there is a town
in Finland called Fjuurn

2
00:00:07,050 --> 00:00:10,619
comprised entirely
of lonely people.

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00:00:10,619 --> 00:00:14,275
Recent computers have discovered
a town in Vietnam Huan

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00:00:14,275 --> 00:00:17,756
whose populace is also
romantically unattached.

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00:00:17,756 --> 00:00:20,759
One Fjuurnian for
each single Huanian.

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00:00:20,759 --> 00:00:25,199
Compatible ages,
interests, fetishes, peccadilli.

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00:00:25,199 --> 00:00:28,724
Following this finding,
Fjuurn became shy.

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00:00:28,724 --> 00:00:33,294
Every citizen blushed so much,
the temperature rose 9 degrees.

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00:00:33,294 --> 00:00:37,428
A soft, red glow
could be seen from space.

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00:00:37,428 --> 00:00:40,301
It was from this vantage
that astro-matchmakers

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00:00:40,301 --> 00:00:43,434
noticed the skyline
of these two locales,

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00:00:43,434 --> 00:00:47,786
every mountain & valley,
tower & well, house & hole

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00:00:47,786 --> 00:00:49,919
were a perfect,
interlocking fit,

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00:00:49,919 --> 00:00:52,400
a precise inverse of one another

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00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:56,360
like a hot dog slipped snugly
into a set of human buns.

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00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:57,883
Meant to be.

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00:00:57,883 --> 00:01:00,321
One night Science got drunk

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00:01:00,321 --> 00:01:03,715
and decided to
force fate to happen.

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00:01:03,715 --> 00:01:08,242
They folded one over other using
cranes and a finger of skylube.

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[ Screaming ]

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00:01:09,591 --> 00:01:11,897
After the carnage
of penetration,

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00:01:11,897 --> 00:01:14,030
each subsequent municipal pump

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00:01:14,030 --> 00:01:16,511
was hotter than that
which preceded it.

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00:01:16,511 --> 00:01:18,252
[ Screaming ]

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00:01:18,252 --> 00:01:21,385
The next morning as the sun
scorched off the fog of abandon,

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00:01:21,385 --> 00:01:24,258
Huan awoke alone
to discover that Fjuurn

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00:01:24,258 --> 00:01:27,174
had secretly
taped the whole thing.

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It was all over the net.

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Humiliated, Huan threw itself
off the edge of the earth.

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00:01:34,833 --> 00:01:36,966
But Fjuurn was taping that, too,

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00:01:36,966 --> 00:01:40,143
so they'd always have
proof of Huan's love --

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00:01:40,143 --> 00:01:42,580
something to give
Fjuurn the confidence

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00:01:42,580 --> 00:01:45,409
to finally love itself.

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00:01:45,409 --> 00:01:49,631
♪♪

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00:01:49,631 --> 00:01:54,636
And yet Dr Ton Bntu extracted
a lateral infarction

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00:01:54,636 --> 00:01:55,985
in the optic chiasm

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00:01:55,985 --> 00:01:59,031
so Eban Dylfyl,
blind since birth,

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00:01:59,031 --> 00:02:01,730
could see
the world for the first time.

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00:02:01,730 --> 00:02:04,559
Dr. Bntu: I am going to remove
the bandages, Mr. Dylfyl.

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00:02:04,559 --> 00:02:05,603
Are you ready?

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00:02:05,603 --> 00:02:06,648
Eban: I can't wait!

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00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:07,953
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!

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♪♪

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You gotta be kidding me.
That's it?

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00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,787
Can you see?

46
00:02:15,787 --> 00:02:17,224
Yeah but I just always pictured
the world was gonna be, like,

47
00:02:17,224 --> 00:02:18,442
beautiful, ya know?

48
00:02:18,442 --> 00:02:20,227
You need more time
to get used to it...?

49
00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:22,403
I don't wanna get used to this.

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00:02:22,403 --> 00:02:24,666
It's worser than trash.

51
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Its freakin' common.

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[ Spits ]

53
00:02:27,625 --> 00:02:32,021
Well, maybe try nature.

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Lame.
Ughk.

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00:02:33,414 --> 00:02:35,459
My eyes're gonna puke.

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00:02:35,459 --> 00:02:37,635
[ Retching ]

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00:02:37,635 --> 00:02:39,333
I'm sorry,
but this is the world.

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00:02:39,333 --> 00:02:43,337
Well, you need to fix it now
or I'm gonna get you fired!

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00:02:43,337 --> 00:02:45,600
You'll be on the streets
eating cardboard dirt!

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No sauce.
No beverage.

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00:02:47,863 --> 00:02:49,995
Like I ate!

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00:02:49,995 --> 00:02:52,259
Announcer:
A Dr's sacred mission is to do
everything in his power

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to avoid losing his job.

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00:02:54,478 --> 00:02:57,568
♪♪

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00:02:57,568 --> 00:03:00,702
Aw, now this is more
like it.

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Whoa, whoa!

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00:03:03,008 --> 00:03:04,488
Whoa!

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00:03:04,488 --> 00:03:06,273
Wow.

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00:03:06,273 --> 00:03:08,884
Announcer: After he fingered
the seam of sight,

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00:03:08,884 --> 00:03:13,062
Eban managed to escape into the
realm that lives behind vision.

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00:03:13,062 --> 00:03:14,672
Eban: Wow!

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00:03:14,672 --> 00:03:16,239
Yes!

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00:03:16,239 --> 00:03:17,806
Announcer: There is no
survival skill greater

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00:03:17,806 --> 00:03:21,592
than man's ability to save face.

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Having true pride is never
letting anyone know

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00:03:24,813 --> 00:03:26,075
they got to you.

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Check out this piece of trash.

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00:03:27,946 --> 00:03:31,472
Announcer:
So when Gil Minugm got tripped
by a bully,

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00:03:31,472 --> 00:03:34,388
he just kept falling
as if he meant to do it.

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As long as he pretended
to tumble,

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00:03:36,477 --> 00:03:39,175
he kept his self-respect.

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He committed to his pride
all thru life.

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00:03:42,396 --> 00:03:46,313
Dignity flowed from him
like body water.

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00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:48,489
He slipsy-won the city marathon

85
00:03:48,489 --> 00:03:52,275
and became the first man
to fall up Mt. Everest.

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00:03:52,275 --> 00:03:56,497
He managed to meet
and injure fun, new people.

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He fell into a relationship
with a girl

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who he could express
his pride up in every position,

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00:04:02,416 --> 00:04:05,767
from dignified doggy
to respectful cowgirl.

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00:04:05,767 --> 00:04:07,769
Even butt stuff.

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00:04:07,769 --> 00:04:09,640
♪♪

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00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:11,381
Gil: Ahh...

93
00:04:11,381 --> 00:04:13,383
Wasn't that
a lovely ceremony?

94
00:04:13,383 --> 00:04:16,604
Sometimes I think you're falling
on purpose

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00:04:16,604 --> 00:04:18,693
to avoid grappling
with life's real challenges.

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What? No.

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00:04:20,521 --> 00:04:22,349
I just happen to be falling.

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00:04:22,349 --> 00:04:24,481
Whoa, whoops.
See?

99
00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:26,657
When you say that it diminishes
validity

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00:04:26,657 --> 00:04:28,920
from people
who are really falling, like me.

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00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:33,011
You're not reallyfalling
any more than I am.

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00:04:33,011 --> 00:04:34,926
We're both just going
through the motions.

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00:04:34,926 --> 00:04:36,363
Whoa, whoa!

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I need to be with someone
who can grab life

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by the scruff of the ass.

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♪♪

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00:04:40,541 --> 00:04:44,588
After their first fight, a
couple can slow its faux bumble

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00:04:44,588 --> 00:04:47,069
and finally hold each other
in its gaze,

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00:04:47,069 --> 00:04:49,811
forever safe, invincible.

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00:04:50,507 --> 00:04:54,685
Aah!

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00:04:54,685 --> 00:04:59,255
[ Siren wails ]

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You! Are you a relative
of the victim?

113
00:05:01,388 --> 00:05:04,739
That, uh, gunk there is my wife.

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00:05:04,739 --> 00:05:06,393
The only way these folks survive

115
00:05:06,393 --> 00:05:08,743
is if I sew them together
right now.

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00:05:08,743 --> 00:05:10,440
Can you dothat?

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00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:13,704
I trained as a surgeon
specializing in hybrids.

118
00:05:13,704 --> 00:05:15,053
Lousy job market means

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that I gotta drive
a Goddamn ambulance

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to make ends meet.

121
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Do you want her to die?!

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No! No!

123
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It's just, I don't know --

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Make a decision!

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Grab life by the scruff
of the ass!

126
00:05:25,063 --> 00:05:27,196
Okay.
Do it. Do it!

127
00:05:27,196 --> 00:05:29,981
Good now stand back,
pray, and cheer me on.

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00:05:29,981 --> 00:05:32,027
"Slab, Slab, Slab!"

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00:05:32,027 --> 00:05:33,724
They called me "Slab"
in med school,

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00:05:33,724 --> 00:05:35,596
and I don't have long
to tell you this story.

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C'mon, motivate me!

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00:05:36,858 --> 00:05:42,429
Umm, Slab... Slab...
Slab... Slab...

133
00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:44,213
Slab... Slab...
Slab... Slab...

134
00:05:44,213 --> 00:05:46,171
So did you have lunch yet?

135
00:05:46,171 --> 00:05:49,392
Um, uh, no.
Slab... Slab... Slab... Slab...

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Well get yerself something,
menu's on the side.

137
00:05:51,655 --> 00:05:54,615
Wait, this -- this ambulance
is a food truck, too?

138
00:05:54,615 --> 00:05:57,531
Slab... Slab... Slab... Slab...I told you -- hybrids.

139
00:05:57,531 --> 00:06:00,838
Now I recommend the Chi-Loco-
Lo-Mein-Vein Dragon Bowl.

140
00:06:00,838 --> 00:06:03,972
They're little burritos rolled
all the way into noodles!

141
00:06:03,972 --> 00:06:06,104
It's a pretty fun Mexican take

142
00:06:06,104 --> 00:06:08,193
on a traditional Chinese
lo mein.

143
00:06:08,193 --> 00:06:09,978
Isn't that a clever lil combo?

144
00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:13,111
Kinda how your wife's gonna end
up if she pulls through!

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[ Chuckles ]
Get used to combos!

146
00:06:14,504 --> 00:06:16,463
I don't really have an appetite
right now!

147
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Well, family of patients
get 10% off.

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00:06:19,204 --> 00:06:20,771
I don't know.
[ Whispering ] Scruff of ass.

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[ Normal voice ] Can ya tell me
about the feelawfel?

150
00:06:24,732 --> 00:06:27,343
Okay, that one is our take on
the falafel, obviously.

151
00:06:27,343 --> 00:06:30,302
We do it with raw onions
since you're crying, anyway.

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And if your loved one dies,
you get to keep the cup.

153
00:06:32,827 --> 00:06:35,351
So you walk away a winner
no matter what happens.

154
00:06:35,351 --> 00:06:36,874
I'll --
I'll do one of those.

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Okay. Gotta say it through
the window there.

156
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One feel-awfel.

157
00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:42,097
Okay, you're gonna want to get
the grief sauce

158
00:06:42,097 --> 00:06:43,054
on this, I assume.

159
00:06:43,054 --> 00:06:44,665
You're gonna cook it, too?

160
00:06:44,665 --> 00:06:48,277
I focus best when I'm doing
two things at once.

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00:06:48,277 --> 00:06:50,671
This is the most
impressive thing

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00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:52,629
I've ever witnessed.

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00:06:52,629 --> 00:06:55,240
Slab!
Slab! Slab!

164
00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:57,504
Order up!
[ Bell dings ]

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Mmm.
Mmm!

166
00:06:59,288 --> 00:07:00,681
Incredible!

167
00:07:00,681 --> 00:07:02,117
How'd you get
the edges so, uh...

168
00:07:02,117 --> 00:07:03,466
Crispy on the outside?

169
00:07:03,466 --> 00:07:06,382
I flash fry 'em
before broiling.

170
00:07:06,382 --> 00:07:08,732
Mmm!
Slab! Slab! Slab!

171
00:07:08,732 --> 00:07:10,386
[ Electricity crackling ]

172
00:07:10,386 --> 00:07:14,042
Aaand operation done,
order up!

173
00:07:14,042 --> 00:07:15,347
[ Bell dinging ]

174
00:07:15,347 --> 00:07:17,175
She's gonna make
a full recovery.

175
00:07:17,175 --> 00:07:20,962
It's kinda my fun take on saving
your wife's life, that's all.

176
00:07:20,962 --> 00:07:23,834
Up top!

177
00:07:23,834 --> 00:07:24,879
What happened?

178
00:07:24,879 --> 00:07:27,925
You were in a terrible accident.

179
00:07:27,925 --> 00:07:30,058
What are you, like, eating?

180
00:07:30,058 --> 00:07:33,714
It's seriously the most
delicious thing I've ever had.

181
00:07:33,714 --> 00:07:35,411
Here, try a bite.

182
00:07:35,411 --> 00:07:37,065
I don't understand
what's going on.

183
00:07:37,065 --> 00:07:41,765
What's going on is I grabbed
life by the scruff of that ass.

184
00:07:41,765 --> 00:07:44,115
Aww!

185
00:07:44,115 --> 00:07:46,901
Mmm.
What smells amazing?

186
00:07:46,901 --> 00:07:48,859
Mmm.
Mmm!

187
00:07:48,859 --> 00:07:51,645
Announcer:
When something scrumptious
blindsides our senses,

188
00:07:51,645 --> 00:07:54,996
we can see the seam
of sight speak its peace.

189
00:07:54,996 --> 00:07:56,650
To warn us --

190
00:07:56,650 --> 00:08:00,349
Horizon: [ Distorted voice ]
Vision is violence.

191
00:08:00,349 --> 00:08:02,394
What you looking at, twerp?

192
00:08:02,394 --> 00:08:04,005
You a tough guy?
Huh?

193
00:08:04,005 --> 00:08:05,441
You a tough guy?

194
00:08:05,441 --> 00:08:07,225
I don't know.
Whatchu mean?

195
00:08:07,225 --> 00:08:09,445
Are you a tough guy?

196
00:08:09,445 --> 00:08:10,533
I mean,
it's complicated.

197
00:08:10,533 --> 00:08:12,883
I'm not sure
I can categorize myself.

198
00:08:12,883 --> 00:08:16,191
Okay, well here, let me
help you figure it out.

199
00:08:16,191 --> 00:08:19,455
Now, are you a tough guy?

200
00:08:19,455 --> 00:08:22,632
I mean, we all have different
facets to ourselves.

201
00:08:22,632 --> 00:08:24,808
One part may be tough,
aggressive, dominant,

202
00:08:24,808 --> 00:08:26,767
while another side
is introspective and hesitant.

203
00:08:26,767 --> 00:08:30,684
If I'm being honest,
I'm a complex amalgam of both.

204
00:08:30,684 --> 00:08:33,687
OK then,
I'll separate it for ya.

205
00:08:35,863 --> 00:08:38,996
Now the both of yous can hash
it out amongst yourselves.

206
00:08:38,996 --> 00:08:40,694
Losers!

207
00:08:40,694 --> 00:08:42,391
What you looking at,
lil half bitch?

208
00:08:42,391 --> 00:08:44,045
Nothing.
I just --

209
00:08:44,045 --> 00:08:46,438
[ Mocking ] Nothing, I just --
Nothing, I just -- I just --

210
00:08:46,438 --> 00:08:48,571
Shut up.
Gimme yer lunch money, now.

211
00:08:48,571 --> 00:08:50,617
But, like,
isn't it ourlunch money?

212
00:08:50,617 --> 00:08:52,140
[ Slurps ]

213
00:08:52,140 --> 00:08:54,490
You gonna be a little bitch,
you bitch?

214
00:08:54,490 --> 00:08:57,145
That's not
a simple question.

215
00:08:57,145 --> 00:08:59,843
You know, It'd be erroneous to
adhere to one broad label

216
00:08:59,843 --> 00:09:02,280
when Jungian scholars
agree a personality

217
00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:06,502
comprises infinite gradations
of 7 archetypical traits.

218
00:09:06,502 --> 00:09:08,678
Here's your 7 component
archetypes right here.

219
00:09:08,678 --> 00:09:11,463
Horizon: It requires great
strength to analytically

220
00:09:11,463 --> 00:09:15,076
octosect ourselves into
sub-sets of neuroticism,

221
00:09:15,076 --> 00:09:17,208
agreeableness,
extroversion,

222
00:09:17,208 --> 00:09:19,602
openness,
conscientiousness,

223
00:09:19,602 --> 00:09:22,170
warmth,
and assertiveness.

224
00:09:22,170 --> 00:09:23,824
[ Shouts ]

225
00:09:23,824 --> 00:09:25,869
Now dat I done helped you
truly know yerself fer free,

226
00:09:25,869 --> 00:09:28,611
whydoncha cough up
that lunch money as payment?

227
00:09:28,611 --> 00:09:31,440
[ Coughs ]

228
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:34,182
I know who I am:
I'm rich!

229
00:09:34,182 --> 00:09:36,880
His Alpha side breezed
through life,

230
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:40,710
grabbing whatever
its half-heart desired.

231
00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:44,322
Tragically, his beta half
was forced to develop

232
00:09:44,322 --> 00:09:48,544
a personality and sharpen
his intellect to survive.

233
00:09:48,544 --> 00:09:52,592
Announcer:
Both sides grew up utterly happy
and secretly miserable

234
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,942
because each suspected
the other

235
00:09:54,942 --> 00:09:58,641
was actually happy
and not utterly pretending.

236
00:09:58,641 --> 00:10:02,340
They developed a sick fixation
upon each other.

237
00:10:02,340 --> 00:10:04,865
Each side snuck to
the other one's house

238
00:10:04,865 --> 00:10:07,563
to creep on
their other side sleeping.

239
00:10:07,563 --> 00:10:11,132
Both were horrified to discover
their other side not home

240
00:10:11,132 --> 00:10:13,134
but probably out having
real fun.

241
00:10:13,134 --> 00:10:15,005
[ Screams ]

242
00:10:15,005 --> 00:10:17,747
They had too much pride
to get back together.

243
00:10:17,747 --> 00:10:21,229
But one afternoon, when they had
both moped off to brood

244
00:10:21,229 --> 00:10:25,059
in a meadow, they inexplicably
felt the re-connection

245
00:10:25,059 --> 00:10:26,538
they had longed for.

246
00:10:26,538 --> 00:10:29,367
They savored the sensation.

247
00:10:29,367 --> 00:10:32,893
As long as they remained
in Eban's healing gaze,

248
00:10:32,893 --> 00:10:35,112
held whole in the stitch
of his sight,

249
00:10:35,112 --> 00:10:39,900
they felt they could do
absolutely anything at all

250
00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:42,946
Horizon: So that's exactly
what they did.

251
00:10:42,946 --> 00:10:47,603
♪♪

252
00:10:47,603 --> 00:10:50,388
♪ There's blood in the kitchen

253
00:10:50,388 --> 00:10:53,565
♪ There's blood in the hall

254
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♪ There's blood in the parlor

255
00:10:56,612 --> 00:10:59,571
♪ Where my lady did fall

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♪ Long Lankin was hanged
on a gibbet so high ♪

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♪ When the false nurse was
burned in a fire close by ♪