[Alexa] It was the last week of winter break
and Katie had spent most of it studying or working,
so I had planned a stress-free day for us at the two dollar movies.
Hey. Okay, there's a prison break movie then a love story.
So it's an ex-con, rom-com marathon.
I have good news and bad news.
Don't tell me you can't go to our movie marathon.
Okay.
Uh...
I am no longer free for our cinematic adventure.
I have to cover a shift at Wired.
Oh, man.
Well, what's the good news?
Oh! Yeah, the good news...
Oh, I got nothing. I really thought I'd think up something on the spot.
[exhales] Well, I guess I don't need these anymore.
Oh, hey, before I go, rapid fire catch-up?
- Mm. - Go!
All right. We're all waiting for Lucas's semester grades to get posted.
Still so odd he cares about school. Go!
Uh, we got thought Jack got his yellow belt in taekwondo.
Turns out he just hadn't washed it.
- Go. - [phone dings]
[breathes in]
Things are still off with Spencer. Go.
How off? Go.
Well, we barely talked since Christmas.
He just texts me memes that don't makes sense.
What? Here, let me see.
I can figure it out.
[laughs]
What? Oh.
Oh, wait, if you go like that...
[audience laughing]
Yeah, I got nothing.
Do you think things changed after you helped shave his head and almost kissed?
[breathes] Well, I'm still not sure we almost kissed.
I mean, we almost kissed
until we almost didn't kiss.
If that's even what almost happened.
I almost understood that.
Um, you know, I'm... I'm sure with all he's going through
and all you've been through, it's just complicated.
Yeah, exactly.
And that's why me and Spencer are just friends.
'Kay.
Oh, I better go.
Okay, but I'm gonna find something fun for us to do.
Great! Great! And I'm just gonna take a little candy for the road.
Uh, and this, and this, and this...
You know, I'm just gonna take this.
Your grades are posted. Read 'em. Read 'em!
Read 'em.
Okay.
[exhales sharply]
All right.
B.
- B minus. - [exhales]
B.
B plus!
I'm a B student!
- [Alexa, Lori, Dave cheering] - [laughs] Yeah!
Woo!
- I cannot believe we did it. - I cannot believe it.
- No. Oh! - [laughs]
I can't believe I did it!
- We can. - You studied your butt off! [laughs]
Yeah, hold up your laptop so I can take a picture of you and your Bs.
- Yeah. - [Alexa] All right.
And got it.
So proud of my brother. Not joking.
Seriously, not joking.
[audience laughing]
- [laughs] - Give me a B.
[Dave making beatbox sound] ♪ B... B B ♪
♪ I got all Bs from plus to minus ♪
♪ Ain't nobody gonna mess with my flyness ♪
♪ Oh, I studied really hard ♪
♪ A, take it away ♪
Oh! Uh, uh, okay. [laughs]
♪ My son got Bs and he's... ♪
Yeah, I can't do this.
[audience laughing]
But, hey, I got you something. [laughs]
- Couldn't help myself. [laughs] - [Dave laughing]
Ooh.
- [gasps] - Yeah. Ha, ha!
Wow.
Doctor clothes.
They're called scrubs and I had it embroidered. [giggles]
"Dr. Lucas Mendoza M.D."
Most def.
[Dave and Lori laughing]
Oh, it's not a competition,
- but we're totally winning parenting. - Mm. [laughs]
♪ I've got you ♪
♪ When I can't take it any longer ♪
♪ You make me feel stronger ♪
♪ I've got you ♪
♪ When I can't take it You make it so much better ♪
♪ We'll do this together ♪
♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh We'll do this together ♪
♪ I've got you ♪
♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh ♪
♪ We'll do this together ♪
And three...
two, one.
And these are officially day-old cookies,
so I am allowed to give them away.
Friend perks.
It's nice that we get to hang out even when you're working.
I like it. You're a friend, but you also serve me.
- I did it! - Oh, you got your license?
Dreamed you were a unicorn?
Finally matched your foundation to your neck?
No. What? [growls]
I told you I'd find something fun for us to do:
the community theater play competition.
Ah, this looks amazing.
Oh, it starts in a week.
I know it's soon but we're still on winter break,
and I'm gonna do it with you.
[inhales] Yeah, let's do this.
Hey, we'll do it, too.
I've always wanted to try my hand at acting.
[clears throat, speaks in French accent] This will be my stage debut.
Hannah, you're in charge of costumes.
Great. I wear clothes every day.
Fine. I'll do it, too.
You're welcome.
Thank you.
And unlike the school play, you won't have to be a horse.
Although your neighs were very impressive.
Wait, what if instead of acting in it, I write and direct it?
Then I'll have something new to add to my college application.
Hmm. Then I'll produce.
Not sure what that means, but how hard could it be? [snickers]
Okay, it means
we are putting on a play.
- [Alexa] Yeah! - Yeah!
Okay, I need to start writing it.
Um... what should it be about?
How about getting back to work?
[audience laughing]
They say write what you know.
So school, friends, and...
how to trick Jack into doing the dishes.
I thought my life was sad.
[audience laughing]
The play will be about a murder in a coffee shop.
[audience laughing]
- Time to binge. - [exhales, smacks lips]
[Lori clears throat]
It says we watched episode five.
And six.
And...
You watched the entire season without me.
What?! [laughs]
Du... Du... Dude.
No! No, no, no, no, no.
Honey, listen, I respect our marriage too much, all right?
It was probably one of the kids.
The kids, Lori?
Code blue, guys.
Ooh, he's talking doctor.
You won't believe this.
My advisor said I need to get better grades to get into medical school.
But you did so well.
Turns out "B" s aren't enough to become a doctor.
And she said that was the easy semester.
What? There were so many big words.
That's what I said.
Well, where are you going?
To study. I'm not getting smarter, talking to you guys.
[audience laughing]
Wow.
- He's gonna work even harder? - [exhales]
I am so impressed.
Oh, what if he discovers and cures a disease?
You know, and names it after me.
[laughs]
Lori... itis.
Symptoms include watching ahead without your husband,
blaming your children and...
being adorable.
I told you it wasn't me, all right?
Oh, I hate this guy. He kills the king.
[audience laughing]
Well?
Well? [laughs]
Well?
It's great.
And you wrote it so quickly.
Yeah, you know, I just tapped into my rage for Barry
and the words just poured out. [laughs]
Thank you for suggesting this. It's exactly what I needed.
We're so good at this. Why do people think plays are hard?
I know, and it turns out there are only two other plays in the competition,
so... we could actually win this thing.
Thanks for asking me to be in the play. It means a lot that you believe my talent.
My parents never pay attention to me or listen...
[Alexa] Hannah, those muffins are fake! Stop eating them!
Just like Dad.
All right, everyone gather around.
I just wanna thank everyone for their hard work.
Katie and I brought all the props from home.
Here's Katie's scripts.
Coffee With a Shot of Murder.
It's a thriller about a waitress who overhears a murder plot.
Whoa, I'm a sketchy businessman
with a dark past.
I connect to this character because my uncle was arrested for embezzling.
I guess everything does happen for a reason.
What, another confusing text from Spencer?
Yeah, a raccoon in a diaper eating a banana.
It's really cute. [giggles]
Yeah, but I miss talking to him.
But we're here to put on a play,
so I am turning it off.
On silence.
Know what, light vibrate.
Where have you been?
We set aside the first hour to work on the set.
That's why I came now.
Okay, here, you are playing the murder victim.
Daisy, an heiress with a big ego.
That's a reach.
But if anyone can do it, it's me.
I'm a grandma?
Why can't I be the waitress?
Well, Alexa's the waitress.
And, hey, you're not just the grandma.
You are the loving but misunderstood grandma
who knows too much.
I just hear "grandma."
[audience laughing]
Why don't I have more lines?
What if the businessman was mute and I had to speak for them?
How dare you!
- Gwenny, you know I'm trying really hard. - Yeah, I'm talking.
You know what? I'm just gonna rewrite the play tonight.
No, they're being ridiculous.
The play is so good.
Good enough to win?
Yes, but this is about having fun.
Yeah. Totally, totally.
But winning can also be fun.
[giggles] Hannah, the apple is fake, too.
Are you using all our glasses for your play?
No.
Honey, it's so late.
Don't let this thing stress you out.
Oh, it's not. I'm just working on the play because I couldn't sleep.
I couldn't stop thinking about the play when I wasn't sleeping.
This is the third time you've rewritten it this week.
Yeah. Fourth.
[growls]
But it's fun. I'm having fun.
All right, ten more minutes of fun and then off to bed.
And where's the coffee pot?
[sighs] Did Jack get a goldfish again?
[audience laughing]
Half the silverware is gone.
[both] Jennifer.
Could be Lucas.
He has been eating in his room the last three days.
- Never seen a person study so much. - [exhales sharply]
I know. It's like he has nothing else in his life.
- Hey. - Hey.
Glad you're taking a break.
I wish.
Oh, you said you had something for me?
Yeah, I do.
This is for you, kid.
There's no room for music in my life anymore.
Okay.
Lori, he's miserable.
[makes a beat sound]
I don't know, look, he's... He's rapping.
♪ Bs weren't enough Pre-med's really tough ♪
♪ Learning arteries has been so hard on me ♪
Oh, he's sad-rapping, Lori. Sad-rapping!
[audience laughing]
[sighs] All right, I know you're right.
It's just... It's really hard for me. [sniffs]
Honey, can we talk to you for a second?
Sure, go ahead.
It's so dumb.
Intestines come in small and large.
There's no medium?
[audience laughing]
[Lori clears throat]
You know, you don't have to be a doctor if it makes you miserable.
But I wanna help people.
Honey, you can't help people if you're not happy.
But would you guys still be proud of me if I quit pre-med?
We're proud of you for having your heart in the right place.
Thanks, guys.
So happy I don't have to think anymore.
[audience laughing]
- [exhales] - [groans]
It's gonna be all right.
No.
I just ordered a dozen more doctor clothes.
Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. [sputters]
- Show night! - Yeah.
What are you doing?
I thought of something that'll make this better.
Katie, you've been rewriting all week,
and every version you make is great.
Even the time travel one.
[laughs]
Hey, don't give me any ideas.
Another meme from Spencer?
[exhales] No, he stopped communicating with me at all.
Take this so your waitress isn't checking for memes she's not getting anymore.
- Now, let's go put on a play. - Yeah, let's do this.
Do I really have to wear this?
[both] Yes.
[audience laughing]
What if I have a catch phrase? Like, "Oh, snap."
[both] No.
Or what is my character had a twin and I had twice the lines?
[both] No.
That's it. I can't work where I'm not valued.
I quit.
Wait, what? What?
No. No, she can't quit.
We just lost our victim,
and without a victim there is no murder,
and without a murder, it's just a grandma and a businessman
talking in a coffee shop.
[exhales] It's fine. Um...
Hannah will play the heiress.
[grunts]
Um...
Okay.
[exhales]
Wow, I have a lot of lines. [clears throat]
Hello! I am a rich heiress new in town.
It's great, great.
Hello.
We can't win like this.
It's a competition for high schoolers. How good can the other plays be?
[audience in theatre cheering and applauding]
Oh, what an emotional rollercoaster.
That play made me laugh and cry.
[audience laughing]
Well, and now Hannah is writing her lines on her hands.
Okay, everyone gather around.
Time for a pep talk.
I am so proud
of everyone.
Okay, we've all worked so hard.
But not hard enough.
If we don't dig deeper than what we've already seen,
then we won't win,
and this whole week will have been for nothing.
Okay, yeah, great. So let's go kill it, guys, whoo!
Oh, wait, Nate... Nathan!
One last thing.
Um...
Act with Tuesday's intensity,
but Wednesday's volume and Thursday's lines.
[audience laughing]
Good morning.
Well, what'll you have today?
Um...
I'll have an espresso.
I'll have an espress-o!
So, a coffee?
[audience laughing]
There's my coffee pot.
Is that our silverware?
Those curtains are definitely from our guest room.
Hey, Grams, what can I get ya?
What do you mean, I like to stylish to be a grandma?
So, a coffee?
[grunts] Reagan!
Hannah, those are props!
And you're about to miss your cue.
I'm sorry.
I eat when I'm nervous.
And I also sweat.
[exhales] I don't think I can do this!
Oh, no, no, no, no!
You are going to do this.
We have to figure out our plan before the spoiled heiress arrives because...
[Katie, backstage] I've worked too hard for you to just freeze up now.
We only have...
[Katie] I have been up every night so this is gonna win!
...one chance.
You're freakishly strong.
- [Katie groans] - [Hannah gasps]
I think I am overhearing the plot of a murder
and a lot more.
The heiress will be here any second now.
Oh, no. Okay, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.
You're okay, you're okay. Oh, gosh.
There heiress will be here any second now.
You're gonna...
You're gonna go out there!
I am not!
Yes, she should be arriving any second now.
[Katie groaning]
Oh.
Oh, hello. Huh.
[stammers] Now, you must be new in town. What's your name?
I sweat my lines off!
[audience laughing]
"Daisy." What a great name! [laughs]
And aren't you that heiress that's new in town?
I'll take your terrified stare as a yes.
Am I supposed to laugh?
I honestly don't know.
Are we still winning parenting?
No.
[laughs]
This is a disaster.
Yeah, but a fun disaster.
Come on, Katie, it's okay. It's just a play.
- [phone dings] - Oh, and now someone's phone is going off.
- Theater audiences are the worst. - [phone dings]
Oh, it's mine.
Actually, it's yours. Spencer.
I'll look at whatever meme it is after the play.
[Katie] Alexa...
He's in the hospital.
What?
You know what? Go.
- Are you sure? - It's just a play.
Yeah, it's just a play.
Now go.
[exhales] Okay.
And now I wonder where our waitress is.
Here I am.
The waitress.
Yes, yes.
The same waitress who looks slightly different
but is definitely the same.
Daisy, why don't you read the menu?
I think it'll help.
Thank you...
same waitress.
[clears throat]
Don't talk to me like that!
Do you know who my dad is?
I don't think Katie's gonna win.
That's it.
I can put her murderer in jail
when the cops see the clue in my apron.
Which I do not have at the moment
because I do not have my apron.
This could be your vital piece of evidence.
Maybe...
perhaps?
Precisely!
This napkin proves...
that you are the murderer in the coffee shop.
They'll never convict an old lady.
Yes, they will.
'Cause as you know...
Ha!
Revenge is like an ice blended:
best served...
cold.
[all laughing]
Hey, did you guys have fun?
No.
Jack, go and get anything that looks like it belongs in our house.
And get those curtains.
Get those curtains!
So, that went...
Terribly. Yeah.
I know, it's okay. What matters is that everyone had fun.
Everyone onstage. [laughs]
Yeah. [laughs]
Well, hey, the good news is that last place out of three
is still third place.
Colleges don't need to know there were only three plays.
You're totally right.
Yeah. Wow, thanks, Mom.
Hey! Uh, you guys!
We won third place!
- Yeah! - [all laughing]
[all cheering]
[laugh]
Hey, Alexa.
Hi, Mrs. Walker.
Oh, I was just going to grab something to eat.
How are you?
Fever, low white blood cell count, you know the drill.
Just here a few days for observation.
Are you wearing an apron?
It's a long story. I'll tell you later.
I'm gonna be here for a while.
The Wizards game's on.
But they don't have ESPN here.
Yeah, that's the reason why I left this hospital.
Uh, but I have an idea.
[sports commentary from tablet]
Yeah. [laughs]
[Alexa] And just like that, it was as if the "almost" kiss that never happened
never happened,
and everything was normal again.
Or as normal as they can be when you are a teenager with cancer.