1
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:12,072
(PLAYING VIDEO GAME ON PHONE)

2
00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:19,704
(ALARM BUZZING)

3
00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:31,132
Oh, bollocks.

4
00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:36,805
We've got a problem.

5
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:39,474
A cyber attack?
Yes. Prime Minister.

6
00:01:39,557 --> 00:01:42,477
(SCOFFS) Took me
two bottles of wine

7
00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:45,397
and half a packet of sleeping
pills to finally nod off.

8
00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:50,026
And you wake me because some fat-fingered
hacker's pinched your PIN number?

9
00:01:50,318 --> 00:01:51,921
Well, it's a little more serious
than that, Prime Minister.

10
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,863
Hmm?
The identities of every one

11
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,949
of our serving agents
have been exposed.

12
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:57,993
What?

13
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,120
Who's doing this?
We're not sure. ma'am.

14
00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:03,039
So one week before I host
my first G12 Summit,

15
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,333
Britain's entire security
apparatus has been taken down

16
00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:06,835
and you know absolutely nothing?

17
00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:09,671
That does pretty much sums up
the situation, ma'am, yes.

18
00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:11,732
Well, you better get someone on
it and find me some answers!

19
00:02:11,756 --> 00:02:14,026
Yes, but that's the problem.
We don't have any agents left.

20
00:02:14,050 --> 00:02:15,093
They've all been outed.

21
00:02:15,343 --> 00:02:17,595
So bring back an old one!

22
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:21,641
(PANTING)

23
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:35,488
All units, this is Juliet Echo.
Stand by for target coordinates.

24
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:41,995
Target acquired.
Repeat, target acquired.

25
00:02:57,093 --> 00:02:58,345
(YELPS)

26
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:02,807
Now then, what have we here?

27
00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:05,018
(EXHALES)

28
00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:06,227
Sorry, sir.

29
00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:07,979
Never mind, Baggaley.

30
00:03:08,063 --> 00:03:11,107
Your concealment and camouflage
work is definitely improving.

31
00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:12,317
Thank you, sir.

32
00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:13,526
IBADULLA: Come on.

33
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,528
ENGLISH: You, too, Ibadulla.

34
00:03:15,653 --> 00:03:18,823
Excellent. That is
a first-class man-trap.

35
00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:21,368
Six house points.

36
00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:23,036
(TOY GUN FIRING)

37
00:03:23,119 --> 00:03:25,330
Right, let's get back
to school before matron

38
00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:26,849
notices you're missing.
(STUDENTS GROAN)

39
00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:29,417
And don't worry, there aren't
any more booby traps.

40
00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:31,127
(YELLS)
(STUDENTS GASP)

41
00:03:32,253 --> 00:03:34,589
Apart from this one, of course.

42
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:37,258
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

43
00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:50,814
Mr. English?

44
00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:52,607
We haven't seen him, sir.

45
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,192
Huh.

46
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:58,238
(DOOR CLOSES)
And that's camouflage.

47
00:03:58,321 --> 00:03:59,906
(EXCITED CHATTER)

48
00:04:00,990 --> 00:04:02,158
Hmm.

49
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:06,413
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

50
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:07,497
ENGLISH: And go.

51
00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:09,666
And go.

52
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:11,876
And go.

53
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:15,004
The welfare of your children
is our paramount concern.

54
00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,382
They're never exposed
to any unnecessary risk,

55
00:04:17,465 --> 00:04:18,883
I assure you.
(STUDENT WHOOPING)

56
00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:21,177
(DEVICE BEEPING)

57
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,306
(GASPS)

58
00:04:29,769 --> 00:04:33,898
I think that's an "F" for your bomb
disposal coursework, Hattersley.

59
00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:37,026
"You're looking particularly
beautiful tonight."

60
00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:40,572
ALL: You're looking
particularly beautiful tonight.

61
00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:41,865
"Ching!"

62
00:04:42,198 --> 00:04:43,450
Ching!

63
00:04:43,741 --> 00:04:45,201
(BELL RINGING)

64
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:48,079
Have a good half-term, sir!
Thank you.

65
00:04:48,204 --> 00:04:49,873
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

66
00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:57,172
(SIGHS)

67
00:05:39,255 --> 00:05:40,381
(EXHALES)

68
00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:43,301
Are you seriously telling me
this is all we've got?

69
00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:44,761
Most of them are either dead,

70
00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:47,680
having hip operations or
recovering from prostate surgery.

71
00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:49,349
(CLEARS THROAT)

72
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:50,767
Okay.

73
00:05:51,392 --> 00:05:55,146
Before your briefing, we'll need you
to re-sign the Official Secrets Aot.

74
00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:56,439
Thank you.

75
00:05:56,814 --> 00:05:57,857
Thank you.

76
00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:58,942
Thank you.

77
00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:00,944
Thank you very much.

78
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,613
AGENT SEVEN: Any of you
gentlemen remember this?

79
00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:07,617
Ooh, the Mont Blanc Blaster.
Havenfiseen one of those for years.

80
00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:12,539
Take the cap off and, if memory serves,
you've 20 seconds to replace it

81
00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:15,500
or it detonates with the force
of a stun grenade.

82
00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:17,710
(ALL LAUGHING)
(GASPS)

83
00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:19,671
(CHUCKLES)

84
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,465
(PEN BEEPING)

85
00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:27,512
(BEEPING INTENSIFIES)

86
00:06:29,597 --> 00:06:30,598
(BEEPING STOPS)

87
00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:32,684
(SIGHS IN RELIEF)

88
00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:37,313
Thank you.

89
00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:42,360
Teas on the left, gentlemen.

90
00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:44,445
And coffees on the right.

91
00:06:44,737 --> 00:06:45,947
AGENT SEVEN: Excellent.

92
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:49,033
Oh, damn it, I forgot my pills.

93
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,327
<i>(AGENTS LAUGHNG) AGENT SEVEN:
Here, have some of m'me.</i>

94
00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:54,998
Scotch whisky, single malt?

95
00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:56,958
AGENT FIVE:
Thank you very much.

96
00:06:57,166 --> 00:06:59,168
Coffee.
Oh.

97
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,504
Here, let me help you with that.

98
00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:07,885
Tea?

99
00:07:12,056 --> 00:07:13,266
(BEEPING)

100
00:07:13,349 --> 00:07:16,144
Ooh, this one just needs
a little top-up of hot water.

101
00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:18,229
I'll be right back.

102
00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:19,314
(DOOR OPENS)

103
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,358
AGENT SEVEN: Man's a divot
of the first order.

104
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,777
Someone should put him
out of his misery.

105
00:07:24,902 --> 00:07:27,947
AGENT FIVE: Along with whoever
furnished this room.

106
00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:30,116
MkvCage.ws

107
00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:32,702
(EXPLOSION)

108
00:07:34,037 --> 00:07:35,204
Oh!

109
00:07:37,498 --> 00:07:39,500
PEGASUS: Ah, good morning.
Sorry to keep you.

110
00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:40,752
(CLEARS THROAT)

111
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,212
Are the others here?

112
00:07:43,504 --> 00:07:44,756
Um...

113
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,008
PEGASUS: Oh.

114
00:07:47,091 --> 00:07:48,384
(AGENTS SNORING)

115
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:54,724
They, um... They nodded off.

116
00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:56,267
Right...

117
00:07:57,518 --> 00:07:58,811
And who are you exactly?

118
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:00,396
EngHsh.

119
00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:03,066
Johnny English.
PEGASUS: Well...

120
00:08:04,525 --> 00:08:06,027
“English...“
(SCOFFS)

121
00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:08,821
You'll leave immediately.

122
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:10,990
My people will give you
the full briefing en route.

123
00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:12,408
Oh, is there anything you need?

124
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:16,204
Yes, nerve gas nasal spray,
a type-four exoskeleton...

125
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:18,247
You should probably
start a list.

126
00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:21,793
And a garroting watch, with a rubber
strap, not the steel bracelet

127
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:25,254
because the links get caught in
the little hairs on my wrist.

128
00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:27,674
Oh, and I'll also need a Bough.

129
00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:29,717
What's a Bough?

130
00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:31,010
(DOOR OPENS)

131
00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:32,095
Sir!

132
00:08:32,970 --> 00:08:34,097
(LAUGHING)

133
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:36,015
Wonderful to see you!

134
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:39,936
Yes, all right, Bough. We're going
on a mission, not a honeymoon.

135
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:41,771
Yes, of course, sir.

136
00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:45,441
Ah. I think it's the pin of your
buckle, sir. It's caught on myjumper.

137
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:46,877
Yes, I can see
what's wrong, Bough.

138
00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:50,071
If you go to your left
and I'll go to my right.

139
00:08:51,447 --> 00:08:54,701
I'm sorry, no, if you go to your
right and I'll go to my left.

140
00:08:56,744 --> 00:09:00,289
No. If I go clockwise
and you go anti-clockwise...

141
00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:02,810
Er, no, I think that's
making it worse, sir.

142
00:09:02,834 --> 00:09:05,253
Hmm. I'm surprised
that didn't work.

143
00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:13,678
Good morning, sir. I have your
agent activation pack here.

144
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:15,888
Department-issue smartphone.

145
00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:20,268
580-megapixel camera,
4.7-inch retina HD display.

146
00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:25,356
Hmm-hmm. Ingenious. And what
does it shoot? Poison darts?

147
00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:29,694
It doesn't shoot anything.
It's a phone.

148
00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:32,196
There's a Twitter handle,
Instagram feed

149
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,282
and secure login for the
department Uber account.

150
00:09:34,365 --> 00:09:35,405
What's he on about, Bough?

151
00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:37,577
I need a weapon.
Not a box of gobbledygook.

152
00:09:37,785 --> 00:09:40,121
I think, uh, what Agent English

153
00:09:40,204 --> 00:09:42,498
is getting at, sir, is all
this is highly trackable.

154
00:09:42,790 --> 00:09:46,169
But since we're dealing with a very
sophisticated, digital target,

155
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:50,840
we might be less visible if we took
a more analog, low-tech approach.

156
00:09:52,508 --> 00:09:53,593
Exactly.

157
00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:56,345
I see.

158
00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:58,681
Is there anything else
I can get you?

159
00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:00,433
<i>A gun.</i>

160
00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:06,147
We don't really do guns anymore.

161
00:10:06,522 --> 00:10:08,107
Just get him a gun.

162
00:10:08,524 --> 00:10:09,817
P: Right, a gun.

163
00:10:10,902 --> 00:10:12,820
(DOOR OPENS)

164
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:19,535
Right. Haven't actually done
one of these before.

165
00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:22,830
"It is my obligation
under section 14

166
00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:24,767
"of the Health and Safety
Directive to inform you

167
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:27,460
"that the equipment with which
you are about to be issued

168
00:10:27,543 --> 00:10:29,462
"can cause injury
and bodily harm.

169
00:10:33,382 --> 00:10:36,010
"Furthermore, any agents
with nut allergies

170
00:10:36,093 --> 00:10:37,279
"should be aware
that traces of cashew oil..."

171
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:38,638
Thank you.

172
00:10:41,265 --> 00:10:42,683
Right, transport.

173
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,523
So, take any hybrid you want.

174
00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:50,358
(EXHALES)

175
00:11:04,413 --> 00:11:05,665
I'll take this one.

176
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:08,960
Oh, don't be ridiculous,
English. This car is a relic.

177
00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:11,838
Drinks petrol, leaks oil
and has no passive,

178
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:13,589
let alone
active safety features.

179
00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:15,275
BOUGH: Do you know what else
it doesn't have, sir?

180
00:11:15,299 --> 00:11:18,052
Satellite navigation
or a single computer chip.

181
00:11:18,135 --> 00:11:21,389
Making it completely invisible
to a digital enemy.

182
00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:22,890
(ENGINE STARTING)

183
00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:25,476
The equipment
Agent English requested, sir.

184
00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:26,769
Thank you.

185
00:11:27,895 --> 00:11:29,689
Phone. Bough?
Yeah.

186
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:36,070
That hi-tech villain of yours
will never see us coming.

187
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:46,789
(TIRES SCREECHING)

188
00:11:53,588 --> 00:11:55,423
BOUGH: Let's see
what they've given us.

189
00:11:56,132 --> 00:12:00,845
Exoskeleton, exploding cotton
buds, the old shoebox inflatable.

190
00:12:00,928 --> 00:12:02,138
Hmm.

191
00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:07,476
Ooh. what are these? Instant
Release Super High Energy Pills.

192
00:12:07,685 --> 00:12:11,814
Like sticking your fingers in an
electric socket. Highly recommended.

193
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:15,860
Right, so, the red ones must be the
Total Knockout Sleeping Pills.

194
00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:17,069
Correct.

195
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:19,447
Hmm. Probably worth
labeling these.

196
00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:20,573
Oh. (CHUCKLES)

197
00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:23,075
Look, sir. Sweeties.

198
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:25,161
Ooh.

199
00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:27,455
Hang on a minute.

200
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,415
I always did love a jelly baby.

201
00:12:29,498 --> 00:12:32,585
I wouldn't if I was you, Bough.
"Jelly" is short for gelignite.

202
00:12:32,668 --> 00:12:34,438
One bite and it'll take
the top of your head off

203
00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:36,130
along with the roof of the car.

204
00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:38,466
So, what does this do?

205
00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:41,594
It's a mixtape, Bough.

206
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,932
(POP SONG PLAYING)

207
00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:48,684
ENGLISH: So, destination?
BOUGH: South of France, sir.

208
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,770
That cyber attack
seems to have been launched

209
00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:53,314
from the Wi-Fi signal
of a hotel in Antibes.

210
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:41,362
Sir? Sir, I've just had
a fax through from HQ.

211
00:13:41,779 --> 00:13:44,907
Background checks on all the guests
that accessed the Wi-Fi network.

212
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:47,118
You see? Who needs email?

213
00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:48,661
A little champagne Mr.

214
00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:51,789
<i>(THANKS IN GERMAN)</i>

215
00:13:52,873 --> 00:13:54,125
Um...

216
00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:56,544
One name has raised
a red flag, sir.

217
00:13:57,336 --> 00:14:00,256
Sebastian Lynch, ex-Army
and Military Intelligence.

218
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:03,342
Now selling his services
to the highest bidder.

219
00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:06,303
Where do we find him?
Directly ahead. sir.

220
00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:07,888
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

221
00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:11,183
He's got an 8:00 reservation
at the Cote de Roc restaurant.

222
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:15,730
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

223
00:14:21,777 --> 00:14:25,057
BOUGH: The problem's going to be getting
close enough for a full surveillance, sir.

224
00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:27,158
Not necessarily.

225
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:30,870
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

226
00:14:30,953 --> 00:14:32,455
(DISHES CLATTERING)

227
00:14:42,506 --> 00:14:43,883
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)

228
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:47,053
SEBASTIAN: Oh, darling, I've just
gotta get this. Two seconds.

229
00:14:47,636 --> 00:14:51,974
Simple plan, two parts. You provide
the distraction, I'll get the phone.

230
00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:54,393
Yes. sir.
And from now on,

231
00:14:54,769 --> 00:14:59,732
(IN FRENCH ACCENT) perhaps we
should sound like French waiters.

232
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,277
(IN FRENCH ACCENT)
French waiters?

233
00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:05,404
Yees.

234
00:15:06,947 --> 00:15:08,115
Go on.

235
00:15:10,284 --> 00:15:11,952
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

236
00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:15,915
Are you finished now, Sebasfian?

237
00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:18,709
Bread roll?

238
00:15:18,959 --> 00:15:20,044
Yes, thank you.

239
00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:22,379
BOUGH: Excellent choice,
<i>madame.</i>

240
00:15:23,839 --> 00:15:25,257
Good evening.

241
00:15:25,841 --> 00:15:27,426
How are you?

242
00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:30,721
Bread roll, sir?

243
00:15:30,846 --> 00:15:32,264
Yes. Thank you.

244
00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:33,599
(HUMMING)

245
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:36,268
(SCOFFS)

246
00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:38,562
One second.

247
00:15:38,854 --> 00:15:40,773
Excuse me, would you mind?

248
00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:43,818
Oh, yes. Evening.

249
00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:45,486
Evening.

250
00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:52,785
(GASPS)

251
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:56,288
(CHUCKLES)

252
00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:01,168
Thank you.

253
00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:13,430
(CHUCKLES)

254
00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:15,349
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

255
00:16:15,432 --> 00:16:16,600
SEBASTIAN: Where's my phone?

256
00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:19,645
WOMAN: That is your phone.

257
00:16:21,730 --> 00:16:23,566
Ooh. (EXHALES)

258
00:16:25,442 --> 00:16:27,319
(CELL PHONE CONTINUES RINGING)

259
00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:29,238
Thank you.

260
00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:31,574
<i>Monsieur.</i>

261
00:16:32,741 --> 00:16:36,036
The, uh, shell on my wife's lobster,
could you remove it, please?

262
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:39,415
Yees.

263
00:16:40,207 --> 00:16:42,126
Uh...

264
00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:43,544
Hmm.

265
00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:49,842
Let me crack it for you.

266
00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:53,137
(STRAINING)

267
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:05,024
Oh!

268
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:06,984
Ow!

269
00:17:07,509 --> 00:17:10,096
What are you doing?
What are you doing?

270
00:17:10,100 --> 00:17:12,100
The shrimps blaze.
Blaze the shrimps.

271
00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:28,005
(ALL GASPING)

272
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:31,884
(HUMMING)

273
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,805
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

274
00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:39,600
Hello?

275
00:17:40,434 --> 00:17:41,977
(WOMAN SCREAMS)

276
00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:45,046
SEBASTIAN: Steve, I'll have to
call you back. Call you back.

277
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:48,484
Give me a sec. Hang on.

278
00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:49,818
(GUESTS GASPING)

279
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,445
WOMAN: What is going on?

280
00:17:54,949 --> 00:17:56,992
Sebastian, don't get involved.

281
00:17:57,900 --> 00:17:59,300
Fantastic.

282
00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:01,664
Ah.

283
00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:08,337
WOMAN: What is he doing? SEBASTIAN:
I don't know. He's a fool.

284
00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:11,006
There we are.

285
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:14,468
<i>Voila.</i>

286
00:18:21,850 --> 00:18:24,103
Hmm. Bon appétit.

287
00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:30,359
I will talk to the manager.
I will talk to the manager.

288
00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,620
ENGLISH: Textbook, Bough.

289
00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:47,918
BOUGH: Just
holiday snaps, sir.

290
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,046
Wait a minute, this photo.

291
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:55,134
It was taken the same day our villain
accessed the Wi-Fi, and look.

292
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:57,761
Scarcely 50 feet from shore.

293
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:00,931
Whoever was on that yacht

294
00:19:01,015 --> 00:19:03,767
could easily have used
the hotel's Wi-Fi,

295
00:19:03,851 --> 00:19:07,021
sent that signal
and then just sailed away.

296
00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:12,234
ENGLISH: I think it's time
we paid the Dot <i>Calm</i> a visit.

297
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:14,278
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

298
00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:25,956
<i>Algorithms.</i>

299
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:28,250
<i>We are surrounded by them.</i>

300
00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:30,502
<i>Algorithms run our lives,</i>

301
00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:35,049
<i>choose our TV shows, stream our music.
Even find us a date.</i>

302
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:37,009
(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)

303
00:19:37,092 --> 00:19:38,844
I know this chap, don't I?

304
00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:42,222
Yes, he's that Silicon Valley
billionaire who dated a Kardashian.

305
00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:45,017
Two Kardashians and a Black-Eyed Pea.
Keep watching.

306
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:48,437
<i>But supposing there was an
algorithm for an entire country.</i>

307
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:52,107
<i>A single algorithm that could be
applied to every one of its problems.</i>

308
00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:56,528
<i>A single algorithm that could take
a second-rate nation and make it</i>

309
00:19:57,071 --> 00:19:58,947
<i>world class.</i>

310
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,231
(AUDIENCE CHATTERING
EXCITEDLY)

311
00:20:00,282 --> 00:20:02,701
<i>Every nation is awash with data.</i>

312
00:20:03,410 --> 00:20:08,040
So now, more than ever, we need to put
that data to work for the people.

313
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:11,418
These few lines of code will
deliver the kind of change

314
00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:14,296
they have been dreaming of
their entire lives.

315
00:20:14,421 --> 00:20:17,466
<i>ON PHONE:
I am Xander. I love data.</i>

316
00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:19,551
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

317
00:20:20,677 --> 00:20:22,429
He's so clever.

318
00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:25,474
He's young, he's sexy,
he's insanely successful.

319
00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:28,560
Just the qualities we need
people to associate with me.

320
00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:29,812
(SIGHS)

321
00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:30,938
Yes, Prime Minister.

322
00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,565
And they will do when he
starts working with us.

323
00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:36,276
But why would 3 Silicon Valley
billionaire work with us?

324
00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:39,113
Just get him into Number 10
and let me work on him.

325
00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:40,614
Yes. ma'am.
Go on.

326
00:20:43,534 --> 00:20:44,785
Oh, God, now what?

327
00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:46,888
There's been another attack,
Prime Minister.

328
00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:48,247
Air Traffic Control.
Oh!

329
00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:51,792
Someone's rerouted every
flight in Europe to Luton.

330
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:54,104
For God's sake, tell me the
agent you've got in the field

331
00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:55,838
is making some progress?

332
00:20:56,004 --> 00:20:57,673
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

333
00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:00,676
(SIREN WAILING)

334
00:21:05,305 --> 00:21:08,308
BOUGH: So, how are we gonna
findthelocafion of that yacht, sir?

335
00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:11,770
ENGLISH: Very easily, Bough.
We ring MI7.

336
00:21:16,024 --> 00:21:19,361
HeHo, heHo? Yes, I need the
location of a boat called...

337
00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:20,612
(LINE DISCONNECTS)

338
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:26,827
Hello? Hello, yes.
A boat called the Dot Calm.

339
00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:29,705
Yes, it's a play
on words. Yeah.

340
00:21:30,038 --> 00:21:31,039
Where?
(LINE DISCONNECTS)

341
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:39,715
Looks about
half a mile out, sir.

342
00:21:40,757 --> 00:21:43,010
Do we wanna try
and swim it or...

343
00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:46,555
No, Bough. This is a job for
the shoebox inflatable.

344
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,307
No, don't open it
in the car, sir!

345
00:21:48,474 --> 00:21:50,058
(SQUEAKING)

346
00:21:54,813 --> 00:21:57,816
Can you reach your door handle?

347
00:22:00,235 --> 00:22:01,820
(MUFFLED) No, sir.

348
00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:04,656
I'll try my side.

349
00:22:22,049 --> 00:22:26,053
Right, Bough, our aim is to get
on board without anyone noticing.

350
00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:28,263
And how are we gonna do it?

351
00:22:28,472 --> 00:22:30,849
Magnetic boots.
Brilliant, sir.

352
00:22:31,725 --> 00:22:33,143
Simple mechanism.

353
00:22:33,268 --> 00:22:36,396
Left switch activates left boot.
Right switch activates right.

354
00:22:37,105 --> 00:22:38,941
Okay, let's go.

355
00:22:53,830 --> 00:22:59,336
Remember, the absolutely vital
element of this mission is surprise.

356
00:23:06,385 --> 00:23:07,636
(METAL CLANGS)

357
00:23:13,892 --> 00:23:15,352
(CLATTERING)

358
00:23:18,730 --> 00:23:20,274
(GRUNTING)

359
00:23:21,024 --> 00:23:22,877
Now, you have to get up
pretty early in the morning

360
00:23:22,901 --> 00:23:25,028
to outwit British Intelligence.

361
00:23:27,197 --> 00:23:28,490
(GRUNTING)

362
00:23:28,991 --> 00:23:30,200
(BOTH EXHALE)

363
00:23:31,201 --> 00:23:32,286
Quick!

364
00:23:35,455 --> 00:23:37,124
(ALARM BLARING)

365
00:23:39,459 --> 00:23:41,295
WOMAN:
Good evening, gentlemen.

366
00:23:42,588 --> 00:23:44,590
Shall we start with your names?

367
00:23:45,716 --> 00:23:48,677
Clearly you have no idea
who you're dealing with.

368
00:23:49,678 --> 00:23:52,014
That's why I'm starting
with your names.

369
00:23:52,556 --> 00:23:54,433
Actually, would you mind
coming down here?

370
00:23:54,558 --> 00:23:57,227
It's really hard to have
a conversation like this.

371
00:23:58,604 --> 00:24:00,272
I have a better idea.

372
00:24:00,564 --> 00:24:02,899
(GRUNTING)

373
00:24:07,946 --> 00:24:09,656
It's no good,
it won't move, sir.

374
00:24:10,449 --> 00:24:12,367
We'll see about that.

375
00:24:12,492 --> 00:24:14,828
Low-intensity
exploding cotton bud.

376
00:24:17,456 --> 00:24:18,540
(BEEPING)

377
00:24:18,665 --> 00:24:21,209
That's quite a powerful charge
for such a small space, sir.

378
00:24:21,293 --> 00:24:22,711
Oh, nonsense.

379
00:24:23,795 --> 00:24:24,880
(WHINING)

380
00:24:24,963 --> 00:24:27,132
There will just be a slight pop.

381
00:24:31,803 --> 00:24:33,847
(BOTH COUGHING)

382
00:24:35,140 --> 00:24:38,100
(WHISPERS) Shall we locate the hold and
look for the source of that signal?

383
00:24:38,143 --> 00:24:42,147
(SHOUTS) I think we should locate the hold
and look for the source of that signal!

384
00:24:42,230 --> 00:24:43,607
(SHUSHING)
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

385
00:24:43,690 --> 00:24:45,317
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

386
00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:46,652
(SHOUTS) Come on!
(SHUSHES)

387
00:24:58,538 --> 00:25:01,041
(SHOUTS) I'd say we have
our villain, Bough!

388
00:25:01,166 --> 00:25:03,335
(SHUSHES) You need to keep
your voice down, sir.

389
00:25:04,211 --> 00:25:06,213
And we're not going to lose him.

390
00:25:19,726 --> 00:25:21,978
Hand me the sherbet fountain.

391
00:25:24,481 --> 00:25:27,484
Three sucks and the location
transmitter is activated.

392
00:25:27,567 --> 00:25:31,363
This gin palace will show up
as a hostile from 30,000 feet.

393
00:25:31,905 --> 00:25:32,948
Hmm.

394
00:25:34,366 --> 00:25:37,160
(SUCKING)
(BEEPING)

395
00:25:39,830 --> 00:25:42,666
This is now an enemy target.

396
00:25:43,542 --> 00:25:45,335
(DOOR CLOSES)
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

397
00:25:48,088 --> 00:25:49,756
Aniseed balls.

398
00:25:52,843 --> 00:25:54,511
(GROANING)

399
00:25:59,933 --> 00:26:00,934
(GRUNTS)

400
00:26:01,143 --> 00:26:02,686
(GUN COCKS)
(SPLASHES)

401
00:26:04,855 --> 00:26:08,108
If you'd wanted to kill me, you
would have already done so.

402
00:26:11,528 --> 00:26:13,363
Till we meet again.

403
00:26:17,033 --> 00:26:18,118
(THUDS)

404
00:26:18,201 --> 00:26:19,494
(ENGLISH GROANS)

405
00:26:21,496 --> 00:26:22,664
Ow!

406
00:26:23,582 --> 00:26:24,875
(GROANING)

407
00:26:27,252 --> 00:26:29,546
Well, that was sooner
than I expected.

408
00:26:31,965 --> 00:26:33,300
(GROANS)

409
00:26:33,383 --> 00:26:36,470
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

410
00:26:37,512 --> 00:26:38,638
(SPLASHES)

411
00:26:40,015 --> 00:26:41,892
BOUGH: <i>Who do you
think she is, sir?</i>

412
00:26:41,975 --> 00:26:44,644
ENGLISH: Well, if she's not
the owner of that yacht,

413
00:26:44,728 --> 00:26:46,188
then she knows who is.

414
00:26:47,314 --> 00:26:49,816
Either way, she's the key
to this case.

415
00:26:52,152 --> 00:26:55,197
Is it true you were teaching,
sir? Before all this blew up?

416
00:26:56,490 --> 00:26:58,742
If by "teaching" you mean

417
00:26:58,867 --> 00:27:03,830
scouting for potential intelligence
operatives then yes, I was.

418
00:27:03,914 --> 00:27:04,998
Hmm.

419
00:27:05,081 --> 00:27:09,753
I actually got married, sir.
I don't know if you heard.

420
00:27:11,338 --> 00:27:12,339
No.

421
00:27:13,006 --> 00:27:14,341
Hmm.

422
00:27:14,549 --> 00:27:16,134
Yeah, Lydia.

423
00:27:16,218 --> 00:27:17,260
Lovely girl.

424
00:27:21,014 --> 00:27:23,683
You never think about getting
hitched yourself, sir?

425
00:27:23,767 --> 00:27:24,851
(SCOFFS)

426
00:27:24,935 --> 00:27:29,439
This is no life for a married man, Bough.
The danger, the constant travel.

427
00:27:29,523 --> 00:27:30,607
WAITRESS: Here you go, sir.

428
00:27:30,690 --> 00:27:32,692
More Lydia's life
than mine, sir.

429
00:27:34,152 --> 00:27:35,445
She's in the Navy, you see.

430
00:27:36,404 --> 00:27:37,572
What, as a cook?

431
00:27:38,406 --> 00:27:41,618
Or some kind of seagoing
secretary or...

432
00:27:41,701 --> 00:27:44,579
Oh, no, sir. She's the captain
of a nuclear submarine.

433
00:27:45,914 --> 00:27:47,249
Oh, right.

434
00:27:49,668 --> 00:27:52,420
Do you think we should get some
petrol for the Aston, sir?

435
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:58,134
No. An Aston Martin is
surprisingly economical, Bough.

436
00:28:00,178 --> 00:28:03,181
Besides, it looks like
we're in business.

437
00:28:17,237 --> 00:28:18,405
Come on.

438
00:28:25,620 --> 00:28:27,581
BOUGH: Looks like
an electric car, sir.

439
00:28:27,664 --> 00:28:30,125
Yes, and sounds like
a nose hair trimmer.

440
00:28:30,333 --> 00:28:31,585
(ENGINE STARTING)

441
00:28:32,252 --> 00:28:33,837
ENGLISH: A bunch
of triple-A batteries

442
00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:36,548
is no match for old-fashioned
British horsepower.

443
00:28:41,678 --> 00:28:42,998
<i>NOfllmCP 720252
MflMPEZO flcmmzyzd</i>

444
00:28:58,069 --> 00:29:01,448
Look at her cornering. Seems so
effortless, doesn't it, sir?

445
00:29:08,788 --> 00:29:10,582
(TIRES SCREECHING)

446
00:29:15,045 --> 00:29:16,254
(GPS BEEPING)

447
00:29:22,010 --> 00:29:23,261
(TIRES SCREECHING)

448
00:29:24,179 --> 00:29:25,305
(GRUNTS)

449
00:29:30,101 --> 00:29:31,227
(SIGHS)

450
00:29:37,275 --> 00:29:38,693
(HORN HONKING)

451
00:29:40,820 --> 00:29:42,405
Arm the missile.

452
00:29:42,489 --> 00:29:43,615
The what?

453
00:29:43,698 --> 00:29:45,951
The missile, Bough, the one
with the tear gas warhead.

454
00:29:46,034 --> 00:29:48,578
But they're just cyclists, sir.
We'll get past in a minute.

455
00:29:48,662 --> 00:29:49,902
They're French cyclists, Bough,

456
00:29:49,955 --> 00:29:52,666
and they're obstructing
Her Majesty's Secret Service.

457
00:30:00,507 --> 00:30:01,841
BOUGH: Wiper stalk
is armed, sir.

458
00:30:08,765 --> 00:30:11,059
(CYCLISTS COUGHING)

459
00:30:11,142 --> 00:30:12,143
BOUGH: <i>Sorry.</i>

460
00:30:12,602 --> 00:30:14,896
<i>Terribly sorry.
We do apologize.</i>

461
00:30:15,021 --> 00:30:17,190
ENGLISH: <i>Stop it, Bough,
you'll only encourage them.</i>

462
00:30:18,900 --> 00:30:20,068
(CHUCKLES)

463
00:30:32,706 --> 00:30:35,375
What are we gonna do now, sir?
Patience. Bough.

464
00:30:35,917 --> 00:30:38,837
Driving like that, her battery
will be dead any moment.

465
00:30:38,962 --> 00:30:42,215
And she'll roll
to a humiliating stop.

466
00:30:42,507 --> 00:30:44,134
(ENGINE SPUTTERING)

467
00:30:54,310 --> 00:30:56,354
(SPUTTERING CONTINUES)

468
00:31:01,484 --> 00:31:05,071
Bough, it is your job to
keep an eye onthefuelgauge.

469
00:31:12,746 --> 00:31:14,914
Very impressive driving, Mr...

470
00:31:16,624 --> 00:31:17,709
Golightly.

471
00:31:18,752 --> 00:31:20,879
Basil Golightly.

472
00:31:23,256 --> 00:31:25,884
And you're rather useful
yourself, Miss...

473
00:31:26,551 --> 00:31:29,596
Bhuletova. Ophelia Bhuletova.

474
00:31:29,763 --> 00:31:31,014
Hmm.

475
00:31:31,097 --> 00:31:32,849
And this is...

476
00:31:33,224 --> 00:31:34,225
Colin.

477
00:31:35,852 --> 00:31:38,021
I thought we were
using fake names.

478
00:31:38,938 --> 00:31:40,690
That is a fake name.

479
00:31:43,526 --> 00:31:44,861
Oh, right.

480
00:31:46,863 --> 00:31:48,740
Yes, this is Colin,

481
00:31:49,991 --> 00:31:51,117
and I'm...

482
00:31:55,288 --> 00:31:56,414
"Dasil."

483
00:31:56,873 --> 00:31:57,874
<i>D as“ .</i>

484
00:31:58,291 --> 00:31:59,292
Basil.

485
00:32:00,543 --> 00:32:02,754
Well, Basil,

486
00:32:03,379 --> 00:32:05,059
maybe there is a simpler way
of doing this.

487
00:32:05,757 --> 00:32:07,175
Over a drink perhaps?

488
00:32:07,258 --> 00:32:09,636
Well, that would be lovely.

489
00:32:09,719 --> 00:32:14,390
Shall we say the bar at the Hotel
de Paris in Cagnes-sur-Mer? 8:00?

490
00:32:14,474 --> 00:32:16,559
Mmm. It's a date.

491
00:32:19,896 --> 00:32:21,189
(ENGLISH CHUCKLES)

492
00:32:21,940 --> 00:32:22,941
Well,

493
00:32:23,525 --> 00:32:27,695
I think my "running out of
fuel" ruse worked pretty well.

494
00:32:28,113 --> 00:32:29,322
Mmm.

495
00:32:33,076 --> 00:32:34,160
PRIME MINISTER: What?

496
00:32:34,327 --> 00:32:36,764
Er, junior doctors. They've
confirmed they are going on strike

497
00:32:36,788 --> 00:32:38,628
and the tube drivers
are coming out in support.

498
00:32:38,665 --> 00:32:41,560
Oh, God. Leader of the Opposition, has
he come round from his heart surgery?

499
00:32:41,584 --> 00:32:42,627
Yes, Prime Minister.

500
00:32:42,710 --> 00:32:45,839
Oh, Jesus Christ, when will something
go right for me? What do you want?

501
00:32:46,631 --> 00:32:48,675
They've hit us again,
Prime Minister.

502
00:32:49,217 --> 00:32:51,719
Huh? Hacked into the Central
Traffic Control System.

503
00:32:52,011 --> 00:32:55,431
Yes, they've turned every
traffic light in London to red.

504
00:32:55,557 --> 00:32:57,100
(CARS HONKING ON SCREEN)
(SIGHS)

505
00:32:58,059 --> 00:32:59,686
Where's my bloody drink?

506
00:33:00,436 --> 00:33:02,814
You've got to be joking?
Vodka tonic, no ice, no tonic.

507
00:33:02,897 --> 00:33:05,441
Yes. ma'am. Oh. and Mr. Volta
has arrived. ma'am.

508
00:33:05,525 --> 00:33:07,819
(CLEARS THROAT)

509
00:33:09,946 --> 00:33:12,574
Mr. Volta,
welcome to Downing Street.

510
00:33:12,699 --> 00:33:15,785
I have read so much
about this wonderful building.

511
00:33:15,910 --> 00:33:19,414
Is this the stone triple staircase
designed by William Kent?

512
00:33:19,539 --> 00:33:22,709
Um, yes, it probably is.
I can't swear to it.

513
00:33:22,834 --> 00:33:25,378
Can we do a quick...
XANDER: <i>Needs Photoshop.</i>

514
00:33:25,461 --> 00:33:27,964
Oh! (STAMMERS)
This way. Hmm.

515
00:33:28,089 --> 00:33:29,883
I am horribly late,
I do apologize.

516
00:33:30,008 --> 00:33:32,802
It's the traffic, it's the one
thing I don't love about London.

517
00:33:32,927 --> 00:33:35,346
Yes, well, I must admit
we are having a slight problem

518
00:33:35,430 --> 00:33:37,348
with the lights at the moment.
Nothing major.

519
00:33:37,473 --> 00:33:40,476
If you wanted, I could take a
look? It is kind of what I do.

520
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:43,188
I think it's actually a little
bit more complex than...

521
00:33:43,313 --> 00:33:46,691
Xander, get a web address for
London's traffic control center.

522
00:33:47,358 --> 00:33:51,070
XANDER: <i>Here is the login page, Jason.
Do you have a password?</i>

523
00:33:53,531 --> 00:33:54,699
Um...

524
00:33:55,408 --> 00:33:56,784
(STAMMERS)

525
00:33:57,827 --> 00:34:00,663
I won't tell if you won't.
Right you are.

526
00:34:00,747 --> 00:34:01,873
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)

527
00:34:01,956 --> 00:34:05,585
XANDER: <i>Bypassing security.
Security bypassed.</i> (BEEPING)

528
00:34:05,668 --> 00:34:06,669
Oh, that's terrific.

529
00:34:08,046 --> 00:34:11,216
Someone is hacking you.
Oh, I don't think so.

530
00:34:11,549 --> 00:34:15,386
Denied service attack.
Yeah, primitive but effective.

531
00:34:16,512 --> 00:34:19,891
You know what we could try,
rerouting all service requests

532
00:34:19,974 --> 00:34:22,101
to our server farm in Nevada.

533
00:34:23,102 --> 00:34:24,395
Um...

534
00:34:25,647 --> 00:34:27,398
<i>XANDER: Rerouting, Jason.</i>

535
00:34:27,482 --> 00:34:29,234
<i>Rerouting complete.</i>

536
00:34:31,611 --> 00:34:33,154
(TRAFFIC MOVING)

537
00:34:33,529 --> 00:34:35,281
(GASPS) Crikey.

538
00:34:36,908 --> 00:34:39,911
So, what was it you wanted
to talk to me about?

539
00:34:40,245 --> 00:34:42,372
You, Jason.

540
00:34:43,539 --> 00:34:44,874
(MOUTHS) Get out.

541
00:34:44,999 --> 00:34:46,542
I want to talk about you.

542
00:34:53,299 --> 00:34:55,093
(BOUGH GRUNTING)

543
00:35:01,015 --> 00:35:03,893
ENGLISH: Excellent, Bough.
Nearly there.

544
00:35:04,769 --> 00:35:06,229
Nearly there.

545
00:35:06,354 --> 00:35:09,357
This is actually
a really nice hotel, Bough.

546
00:35:10,108 --> 00:35:12,986
I'm turning to the right.

547
00:35:13,111 --> 00:35:15,280
(SOFT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

548
00:35:25,999 --> 00:35:29,961
Shall one of us keep Miss Bhuletova busy
while the other searches her room, sir?

549
00:35:30,169 --> 00:35:34,173
Good idea, Bough.
Alert me if you find anything.

550
00:35:36,301 --> 00:35:38,303
(CONTINUES PLAYING
SOFT JAZZ MUSIC)

551
00:35:46,269 --> 00:35:48,021
(PLAYING LIVELY TUNE)

552
00:35:51,232 --> 00:35:52,608
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

553
00:35:52,692 --> 00:35:55,236
(SOFT JAZZ MUSIC RESUMES)

554
00:35:56,321 --> 00:35:57,488
Mr. Golightly.

555
00:36:00,491 --> 00:36:01,492
Oh...

556
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:03,202
Indeed.

557
00:36:04,203 --> 00:36:07,290
I thought perhaps you weren't coming.
On the contrary.

558
00:36:07,457 --> 00:36:10,084
Wild horses couldn't
keep me away.

559
00:36:10,835 --> 00:36:11,961
<i>Madame? Monsieur?</i>

560
00:36:12,503 --> 00:36:14,422
Evening. What would you like?

561
00:36:15,131 --> 00:36:18,760
I'm feeling a little homesick tonight.
I'll have 3 Moscow Mule.

562
00:36:22,305 --> 00:36:24,640
And I'll have a London...

563
00:36:24,974 --> 00:36:26,976
Lemming, please.

564
00:36:28,519 --> 00:36:30,355
I'm not sure, what...

565
00:36:31,647 --> 00:36:34,984
It's, uh, gin, vodka,

566
00:36:36,444 --> 00:36:37,779
armagnac,

567
00:36:38,529 --> 00:36:39,822
sherry,

568
00:36:40,490 --> 00:36:42,992
with just a little bit
of Parmesan.

569
00:36:44,994 --> 00:36:46,079
(CHUCKLES)

570
00:36:49,165 --> 00:36:52,877
So, what brings you to the
South of France, Miss...

571
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:54,379
Bhilli... Bholly...

572
00:36:54,462 --> 00:36:55,671
Bhuletova.

573
00:36:56,172 --> 00:36:57,548
Bhuletova.

574
00:36:57,882 --> 00:36:59,675
I'm just visiting
a friend of mine.

575
00:36:59,759 --> 00:37:00,885
Hmm.

576
00:37:03,930 --> 00:37:07,183
And would this friend
be the owner of the Dot <i>Calm?</i>

577
00:37:08,351 --> 00:37:09,435
Hmm.

578
00:37:09,519 --> 00:37:10,728
Yes, he would.

579
00:37:11,896 --> 00:37:13,564
(WAITRESS SCREAMS)
(DISHES CLATTERING)

580
00:37:16,526 --> 00:37:18,361
And what about you,

581
00:37:18,444 --> 00:37:19,445
Basil?

582
00:37:19,612 --> 00:37:21,948
Oh, I'm just here on business.

583
00:37:22,198 --> 00:37:25,201
Although, it's rapidly
turning into pleasure.

584
00:37:29,288 --> 00:37:31,040
Ooh! I love these.

585
00:37:36,254 --> 00:37:37,463
They're really hot.

586
00:37:41,134 --> 00:37:42,677
(GROANING)

587
00:37:46,514 --> 00:37:48,182
Are you all right?

588
00:37:48,599 --> 00:37:49,934
Yes, fine.

589
00:37:50,184 --> 00:37:52,145
(HUFFING)

590
00:37:57,608 --> 00:37:58,901
(MUMBLES)

591
00:37:58,985 --> 00:38:00,027
Hmm.

592
00:38:02,700 --> 00:38:05,453
<i>Thank you.</i>
<i>Thank you very much.</i>

593
00:38:06,492 --> 00:38:07,577
Cheers.

594
00:38:08,035 --> 00:38:11,205
I'm not sure I've ever met a
man quite like you, Basil.

595
00:38:12,206 --> 00:38:14,542
Let me clear up
the uncertainty for you.

596
00:38:15,168 --> 00:38:16,544
You haven't.

597
00:38:17,587 --> 00:38:19,088
(SLURPING)

598
00:38:25,887 --> 00:38:27,221
(CLEARS THROAT)

599
00:38:27,889 --> 00:38:28,973
(CHUCKLES)

600
00:38:30,766 --> 00:38:35,188
I'm sorry, Basil. I have to get
up really early tomorrow morning.

601
00:38:35,563 --> 00:38:37,106
Oh, that's a shame.

602
00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:39,700
See you tomorrow Basil.

603
00:38:47,658 --> 00:38:49,327
How did you get on, sir?

604
00:38:49,452 --> 00:38:52,121
Oh, gosh, what a wonderful
woman, Bough. Wonderful.

605
00:38:52,246 --> 00:38:53,247
Right.

606
00:38:53,372 --> 00:38:55,249
Charming. Intelligent.

607
00:38:55,333 --> 00:38:59,045
Lovely sense of humor. And
obviously entirely innocent.

608
00:38:59,170 --> 00:39:02,298
Although, I broke into her room and
she does have three passports, sir.

609
00:39:02,381 --> 00:39:05,218
Romanian, Bulgarian, Russian.
Different name in each.

610
00:39:05,843 --> 00:39:08,221
So she's been married
to three different people.

611
00:39:08,346 --> 00:39:10,348
Not unusual in this day
and age, Bough.

612
00:39:10,473 --> 00:39:13,351
And I also found some garroting
wire and two boxes of ammunition.

613
00:39:13,434 --> 00:39:18,272
Well, single woman, traveling
alone, you can't be too careful.

614
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:22,401
You don't think
she might be a spy, sir?

615
00:39:22,860 --> 00:39:24,779
A spy? (LAUGHS)

616
00:39:25,530 --> 00:39:28,282
I think I know
what a spy looks like, Bough.

617
00:39:28,366 --> 00:39:30,034
<i>NOfllmCP 720252
MflMPEZO flcmmzyzd</i>

618
00:39:52,932 --> 00:39:54,267
(SIGHS)

619
00:40:01,607 --> 00:40:02,650
(CLICKS TONGUE)

620
00:40:14,412 --> 00:40:15,746
Oh.

621
00:40:16,581 --> 00:40:17,832
(SIGHS)

622
00:40:34,807 --> 00:40:35,975
(GRUNTS)

623
00:40:38,894 --> 00:40:40,104
(DOOR BEEPS)

624
00:40:56,954 --> 00:40:58,039
(GRUNTS)

625
00:41:00,333 --> 00:41:02,293
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

626
00:41:23,522 --> 00:41:25,983
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING
IN DISTANCE)

627
00:42:20,496 --> 00:42:21,580
(GRUNTS)

628
00:42:24,583 --> 00:42:25,835
(DANCE MUSIC
CONTINUES PLAYING)

629
00:42:29,088 --> 00:42:30,381
Oh!

630
00:42:49,358 --> 00:42:50,526
(CHUCKLES)

631
00:42:59,118 --> 00:43:00,244
Ah.

632
00:43:03,789 --> 00:43:04,915
(BOTH GRUNT)

633
00:43:10,421 --> 00:43:12,047
(CHEERING)

634
00:43:18,471 --> 00:43:19,972
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

635
00:43:25,728 --> 00:43:26,729
BOUGH: Sir?

636
00:43:27,021 --> 00:43:28,022
Sir!
(MUSIC STOPS)

637
00:43:29,356 --> 00:43:31,358
I just got off the phone
to P in London.

638
00:43:31,442 --> 00:43:33,003
He's found out who the
owner of that yaoht is.

639
00:43:33,027 --> 00:43:34,028
Jason Volta.

640
00:43:34,111 --> 00:43:36,322
The world's most powerful
Internet billionaire, sir!

641
00:43:36,405 --> 00:43:37,782
And he's in London, right now.

642
00:43:37,865 --> 00:43:41,285
The Prime Minister is personally
negotiating a trade deal with him.

643
00:43:42,286 --> 00:43:43,871
Well, what are we waiting for?

644
00:43:46,707 --> 00:43:48,751
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

645
00:43:51,170 --> 00:43:52,838
(TIRES SCREECHING)

646
00:44:10,564 --> 00:44:11,690
(YELPS)

647
00:44:15,110 --> 00:44:17,947
Do you think we might
slow down a little, sir?

648
00:44:18,739 --> 00:44:19,824
What?

649
00:44:21,992 --> 00:44:23,410
Never mind!

650
00:44:29,208 --> 00:44:31,460
NEWSCASTER: <i>With what appears
to be another cyber attack,</i>

651
00:44:31,544 --> 00:44:32,938
<i>pressure is mounting
on the Prime Minister.</i>

652
00:44:32,962 --> 00:44:34,922
Every train in England?
Yes. sir.

653
00:44:35,005 --> 00:44:38,092
They're all trying to terminate
at Bristol Temple Meads.

654
00:44:38,467 --> 00:44:40,344
(VOCALIZING)

655
00:44:41,303 --> 00:44:42,346
Morning, sir!

656
00:44:42,429 --> 00:44:44,515
You see this. English?
Yes!

657
00:44:45,432 --> 00:44:46,433
Please.

658
00:44:47,226 --> 00:44:48,561
(PEGASUS CLEARS THROAT)
Ooh!

659
00:44:49,144 --> 00:44:51,605
Tell me you've got something I
can take to the Prime Minister.

660
00:44:51,689 --> 00:44:54,692
Would the name of the man
responsible do, sir?

661
00:44:55,025 --> 00:44:56,610
Excellent, English, yes.

662
00:44:57,236 --> 00:44:59,530
(SLURRING) It's Jason...

663
00:45:02,408 --> 00:45:03,951
(SNORING)

664
00:45:09,707 --> 00:45:12,167
Volta, sir. Jason Volta.

665
00:45:12,585 --> 00:45:13,586
What?

666
00:45:13,752 --> 00:45:16,338
You're accusing the PM's
knight in shining armor?

667
00:45:16,422 --> 00:45:18,257
I'd need hard evidence.

668
00:45:18,340 --> 00:45:20,467
(MUMBLING)

669
00:45:25,389 --> 00:45:26,724
(SLOWLY) Which...

670
00:45:27,474 --> 00:45:29,977
is why Agent English
is proposing

671
00:45:30,060 --> 00:45:32,605
a penetration of Volta's
country estate in Surrey.

672
00:45:32,813 --> 00:45:37,067
(GROGGILY)
Yes, yes, yes, yes...

673
00:45:37,151 --> 00:45:39,486
Well, do what you have
to do, English.

674
00:45:39,862 --> 00:45:41,864
But for God's sake,
be discreet about it.

675
00:45:42,072 --> 00:45:44,116
Oh! Oh.

676
00:45:44,199 --> 00:45:45,242
Good.

677
00:45:45,326 --> 00:45:46,410
Oh. Oh.

678
00:45:52,666 --> 00:45:54,376
"Virtual reality"?

679
00:45:54,501 --> 00:45:55,502
That's right, sir.

680
00:45:55,586 --> 00:45:57,946
P's built a computer model of
the inside of Volta's mansion.

681
00:45:58,005 --> 00:46:02,968
When you put on this headset, it will look
and feel as if you are inside the house.

682
00:46:03,052 --> 00:46:06,513
You'll be able to open and close
doors, walk up and down staircases,

683
00:46:06,597 --> 00:46:09,391
completely familiarize
yourself with its layout.

684
00:46:09,475 --> 00:46:12,728
This floor moves in any
direction. 80 you can walk...

685
00:46:13,979 --> 00:46:17,399
You can walk as far as you
want in the virtual world

686
00:46:18,150 --> 00:46:20,611
without ever actually
leaving this room.

687
00:46:20,986 --> 00:46:22,029
One thing though, sir.

688
00:46:23,238 --> 00:46:24,949
The experience can be
very disorientating.

689
00:46:25,032 --> 00:46:26,241
It's completely immersive

690
00:46:26,325 --> 00:46:29,370
and some people lose all track
of their actual surroundings.

691
00:46:29,453 --> 00:46:32,665
(SCOFFS) I think we can pretty much
guarantee that's not gonna happen.

692
00:46:32,998 --> 00:46:35,334
I'll just need you to sign the
health and safety releases.

693
00:46:35,668 --> 00:46:38,379
(SIGHS) Would you excuse
me while I find an iPad.

694
00:46:39,380 --> 00:46:42,675
Oh, go with him, Bough. If we don't
ohivvy him along we'll be here all day.

695
00:46:45,177 --> 00:46:46,720
(SIGHS)

696
00:46:48,722 --> 00:46:49,974
Hmm.

697
00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:11,328
Ah.

698
00:47:11,745 --> 00:47:13,865
Amrmonflflfvozzw _<_CM_O
_U_l><_an OZ Im>_U_U_l_OZ_mmv

699
00:47:24,258 --> 00:47:25,634
(HORN HONKING)

700
00:47:30,556 --> 00:47:32,307
(BRAKES SCREECH)
(HORN HONKING)

701
00:47:33,392 --> 00:47:34,393
MAN: Watch out!

702
00:47:36,353 --> 00:47:37,855
(HORNS HONKING)

703
00:47:39,064 --> 00:47:40,107
(RAPID BEEPING)

704
00:47:55,247 --> 00:47:56,707
(GROANS)

705
00:47:59,126 --> 00:48:00,794
(BEEPING)

706
00:48:02,671 --> 00:48:04,465
AUTOMATED VOICE: <i>Door Closing.</i>

707
00:48:05,090 --> 00:48:06,425
<i>Going down.</i>

708
00:48:10,929 --> 00:48:12,097
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

709
00:48:12,181 --> 00:48:13,307
(GROANS)

710
00:48:16,727 --> 00:48:17,770
(GROANING)

711
00:48:17,895 --> 00:48:19,480
(IMITATING GUNFIRE)

712
00:48:28,572 --> 00:48:30,157
(BEEPING)

713
00:48:34,703 --> 00:48:36,080
(BRAKES SCREECH)

714
00:48:36,163 --> 00:48:37,623
(PANTING)

715
00:48:37,706 --> 00:48:39,041
(DOG WHINES)

716
00:48:41,668 --> 00:48:43,670
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

717
00:48:45,464 --> 00:48:46,673
(GRUNTS)

718
00:48:47,174 --> 00:48:48,926
(BEEPING)

719
00:48:56,433 --> 00:48:58,185
(COFFEE MACHINE WHIRRING)

720
00:49:07,152 --> 00:49:08,320
Hey!

721
00:49:08,445 --> 00:49:09,488
(GASPS)

722
00:49:09,780 --> 00:49:11,573
(GRUNTING)

723
00:49:13,242 --> 00:49:14,993
(SCREAMING)
(BRAKES SCREECH)

724
00:49:15,994 --> 00:49:17,538
(CHUCKLES)
(HORNS HONKING)

725
00:49:17,621 --> 00:49:18,997
(RAPID BEEPING)

726
00:49:23,794 --> 00:49:25,688
I'm sorry, sir, but you're
going to have to leave.

727
00:49:25,712 --> 00:49:26,755
Ow.

728
00:49:27,047 --> 00:49:28,090
Ow.

729
00:49:29,383 --> 00:49:30,801
(GRUNTING)

730
00:49:34,263 --> 00:49:35,347
(EXHALES)

731
00:49:35,430 --> 00:49:36,473
(CHUCKLES)

732
00:49:37,182 --> 00:49:38,225
(GLASS SHATTERS)

733
00:49:47,568 --> 00:49:49,069
(BELL DINGS)

734
00:49:51,738 --> 00:49:54,867
TOUR GUIDE: So, we'll shortly
be arriving at Admiralty House.

735
00:49:54,992 --> 00:49:58,912
And, er, that actually used to be
Oliver Cromwell's own house. Um...

736
00:50:00,706 --> 00:50:02,040
Uh...

737
00:50:02,166 --> 00:50:05,669
And then we'll be going
to Horse Guards Parade.

738
00:50:05,752 --> 00:50:07,379
(GRUNTING)

739
00:50:08,422 --> 00:50:10,215
Perhaps you'd like
to sit down, sir?

740
00:50:10,299 --> 00:50:11,884
(BOTH GROANING)

741
00:50:12,968 --> 00:50:14,845
MAN: Hey, whoa!

742
00:50:15,470 --> 00:50:16,972
(GRUNTING)

743
00:50:19,474 --> 00:50:20,893
I've got them!

744
00:50:21,393 --> 00:50:23,645
(BOTH GROANING)

745
00:50:25,564 --> 00:50:29,526
However, the agent we have on this mission
is confident he's making major progress.

746
00:50:29,610 --> 00:50:32,404
And, uh, yes, we have a potential
suspect, he's been identified.

747
00:50:32,905 --> 00:50:36,909
And further covert
investigations are now ongoing.

748
00:50:36,992 --> 00:50:38,118
(ALL GASP)

749
00:50:38,202 --> 00:50:39,411
Yes, quite.

750
00:50:39,661 --> 00:50:42,581
So I expect to have more
to announce on this front

751
00:50:44,333 --> 00:50:45,500
shortly.

752
00:50:50,505 --> 00:50:51,798
(BELL DINGS)

753
00:50:58,096 --> 00:50:59,264
(BEEPING)

754
00:50:59,389 --> 00:51:00,557
Oh.

755
00:51:01,433 --> 00:51:02,434
BOUGH: Sir?

756
00:51:02,517 --> 00:51:03,644
Mmm?

757
00:51:03,727 --> 00:51:06,563
Is everything all right. sir?
Yes. I've done it, Bough.

758
00:51:06,813 --> 00:51:09,566
Child's play. Don't know what
all the fuss was about.

759
00:51:12,444 --> 00:51:15,405
(SIRENS WAILING)

760
00:51:16,156 --> 00:51:17,366
(DOOR CLOSES)

761
00:51:18,158 --> 00:51:20,035
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

762
00:51:23,163 --> 00:51:25,165
<i>Pleasure to see you again,
Prime Minister.</i>

763
00:51:26,792 --> 00:51:29,711
(WHISPERING) It's a hologram. Apparently
you just speak to it normally.

764
00:51:31,380 --> 00:51:33,548
The pleasure's all mine.

765
00:51:33,632 --> 00:51:37,511
Hate to rush you, but was there
something in particular you needed?

766
00:51:37,594 --> 00:51:40,264
Actually, I was just calling
really to see

767
00:51:40,347 --> 00:51:44,393
if you had had a chance
to think things over.

768
00:51:44,643 --> 00:51:45,644
<i>I have.</i>

769
00:51:48,146 --> 00:51:51,733
But the thing is, Fiona, I just don't
really do other people's security.

770
00:51:51,817 --> 00:51:55,195
<i>Not that I don't want to. But
your infrastructure is old.</i>

771
00:51:55,529 --> 00:51:57,257
Plus the only way I could keep
you secure in the meantime

772
00:51:57,281 --> 00:52:00,826
would be by storing all your
data on my own servers.

773
00:52:00,909 --> 00:52:03,036
<i>Obviously, that would be...
Yes. Jason.</i>

774
00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:07,082
What I really want to do is announce
this tie-up at the G12 meeting.

775
00:52:07,958 --> 00:52:10,294
<i>Do we have a deal?</i>

776
00:52:10,377 --> 00:52:11,670
(LAUGHS)

777
00:52:19,469 --> 00:52:21,138
BOUGH: Good luck, sir.

778
00:52:39,823 --> 00:52:40,824
JASON: Hey.

779
00:52:40,991 --> 00:52:41,992
MAN: Sir?

780
00:52:42,075 --> 00:52:44,578
I said to get the chopper ready.
Right there.

781
00:52:44,661 --> 00:52:45,871
MAN: Sir. Right away, sir.

782
00:52:46,038 --> 00:52:47,247
Thank you.

783
00:52:47,456 --> 00:52:49,041
MAN: Tyler, come in.
TYLER: <i>Copy.</i>

784
00:52:49,458 --> 00:52:51,418
MAN: Tyler, can you prepare
the chopper now?

785
00:52:51,543 --> 00:52:54,338
TYLER: <i>We'll have everything ready
for you in a couple of minutes.</i>

786
00:52:58,383 --> 00:52:59,468
(CLATTERS)

787
00:53:24,242 --> 00:53:25,577
(CHUCKLES)

788
00:53:25,660 --> 00:53:28,663
We can't keep meeting
like this, Mr. Golightly.

789
00:53:28,747 --> 00:53:30,082
Oh, yes.

790
00:53:30,165 --> 00:53:33,126
Or do you want to end this Charade
and tell me your real name?

791
00:53:33,418 --> 00:53:34,961
(DOOR OPENS)

792
00:53:35,420 --> 00:53:37,422
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

793
00:53:37,881 --> 00:53:41,760
There's so much you don't understand about
this world you've got caught up in.

794
00:53:42,844 --> 00:53:46,223
Spare me the idiot act.
You're British Secret Service.

795
00:53:47,432 --> 00:53:51,186
Impressive work in France, by the way.
When did you realize I was a spy, too?

796
00:53:52,687 --> 00:53:55,982
Oh, pretty much straight away.

797
00:53:56,858 --> 00:53:57,901
Hmm.

798
00:54:00,278 --> 00:54:04,282
I've spent two years undercover.
Simple operation until you showed up.

799
00:54:04,491 --> 00:54:06,243
And I like
to keep things simple.

800
00:54:07,119 --> 00:54:08,995
"Simple" is my middle name.

801
00:54:10,205 --> 00:54:11,373
(DOOR OPENS)
(GASPS)

802
00:54:11,456 --> 00:54:12,666
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

803
00:54:13,250 --> 00:54:15,127
It would seem you've got
a choice to make.

804
00:54:17,754 --> 00:54:21,675
Temporary suspension ofhosfinfies?
A short-term partnership?

805
00:54:26,680 --> 00:54:27,848
(GROANS)

806
00:54:30,642 --> 00:54:31,810
Hmm.

807
00:54:31,977 --> 00:54:34,938
JASON: Politicians are even more
gullible than venture capitalists.

808
00:54:35,021 --> 00:54:36,022
<i>XANDER: That is correct.</i>

809
00:54:36,106 --> 00:54:37,386
Get me a copy
of the target list.

810
00:54:37,649 --> 00:54:39,985
We'll hit them once more
just to be on the safe side.

811
00:54:40,527 --> 00:54:43,655
Give me your phone.
You don't have a phone?

812
00:54:43,780 --> 00:54:46,158
A phone will give anyone
your precise location.

813
00:54:46,241 --> 00:54:48,910
And yet they're so useful
for making phone calls.

814
00:54:48,994 --> 00:54:51,371
JASON: Excellent.
I'm not phoning anyone.

815
00:54:52,122 --> 00:54:55,041
I'm gathering evidence.

816
00:54:56,918 --> 00:55:00,755
XANDER: <i>The target list, Jason. Four
iconic central London landmarks.</i>

817
00:55:00,881 --> 00:55:02,966
<i>Make your selection.
Number three.</i>

818
00:55:03,091 --> 00:55:04,926
<i>XANDER: The London Eye.</i>

819
00:55:06,178 --> 00:55:11,391
<i>This cyber attack could potentially
impact 16,000 visitors.</i>

820
00:55:11,475 --> 00:55:13,643
(POP SONG PLAYING LOUDLY
ON CELL PHONE)

821
00:55:16,730 --> 00:55:19,232
I found him snooping
around upstairs.

822
00:55:20,317 --> 00:55:22,235
And who are you exactly?

823
00:55:22,360 --> 00:55:23,820
I'm not telling you anything.

824
00:55:23,904 --> 00:55:24,946
Hmm.

825
00:55:25,989 --> 00:55:28,158
XANDER: <i>Face recognition
software launched.</i>

826
00:55:28,492 --> 00:55:31,953
<i>Johnny English is a geography
teacher from Lincolnshire.</i>

827
00:55:32,412 --> 00:55:36,249
Rather heavily armed for a lesson
on European capitals, Mr. English.

828
00:55:36,333 --> 00:55:37,375
(CHUCKLES)

829
00:55:38,752 --> 00:55:39,961
Any thoughts, sweetheart?

830
00:55:40,962 --> 00:55:42,881
He's British Intelligence.

831
00:55:42,964 --> 00:55:44,090
(JASON CHUCKLES)

832
00:55:44,174 --> 00:55:46,343
And there you have it,
two words that have

833
00:55:46,426 --> 00:55:49,346
no right being
in the same sentence together.

834
00:55:49,721 --> 00:55:52,724
(CHUCKLES) Do you really think
I came here alone?

835
00:55:53,099 --> 00:55:56,394
I have a team of crack
operatives out there, right now,

836
00:55:56,478 --> 00:55:57,979
just waiting to strike.

837
00:55:58,063 --> 00:55:59,356
Uh-huh.

838
00:56:00,649 --> 00:56:02,192
(BEEPS)

839
00:56:02,359 --> 00:56:04,361
(BOUGH PANTING)
(DOG BARKING)

840
00:56:04,444 --> 00:56:05,487
<i>Sir!</i>

841
00:56:05,570 --> 00:56:07,739
(LAUGHING)

842
00:56:08,698 --> 00:56:10,992
What has happened
to this country?

843
00:56:11,117 --> 00:56:13,828
How is it possible
that less than a century ago

844
00:56:13,912 --> 00:56:16,915
the British Empire
ruled a quarter of the globe

845
00:56:17,040 --> 00:56:20,627
and now it's relying on someone

846
00:56:21,795 --> 00:56:24,214
like you? (LAUGHS)

847
00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:29,803
Hey! Stop!

848
00:56:31,137 --> 00:56:32,138
Stop him?

849
00:56:33,890 --> 00:56:35,809
(GRUNTS)
(DOOR BEEPS)

850
00:56:38,228 --> 00:56:39,312
(CHUCKLES)

851
00:56:46,069 --> 00:56:47,070
Go.

852
00:56:55,537 --> 00:56:56,955
Close the gates.
MAN: Yes, sir.

853
00:56:59,541 --> 00:57:00,750
(LAUGHS)

854
00:57:05,547 --> 00:57:06,756
(GATES CLOSE)

855
00:57:07,841 --> 00:57:09,175
Help! Stop!

856
00:57:09,259 --> 00:57:11,636
Obstacle directly ahead,
Mrs. Trattner.

857
00:57:11,761 --> 00:57:15,682
Check your mirrors
and bring the car to a stop.

858
00:57:18,018 --> 00:57:19,728
Er, excuse me. Hey.

859
00:57:19,853 --> 00:57:21,646
(STAMMERS)

860
00:57:21,730 --> 00:57:22,731
Thank you.
(GRUNTS)

861
00:57:26,318 --> 00:57:27,319
Drive!

862
00:57:28,403 --> 00:57:29,529
(WHIMPERS)

863
00:57:29,613 --> 00:57:30,614
Excuse me.

864
00:57:30,697 --> 00:57:32,508
MRS. TRATTNER: What... What
do you think you're doing?

865
00:57:32,532 --> 00:57:35,118
INSTRUCTOR: Excuse me! You are
not a qualified instructor.

866
00:57:36,161 --> 00:57:37,704
(SCREAMING)

867
00:57:44,294 --> 00:57:46,546
But what about my instructor?
Turn left.

868
00:57:46,630 --> 00:57:47,672
Oh.

869
00:57:48,548 --> 00:57:49,591
Turn right.

870
00:57:54,012 --> 00:57:56,556
For future reference,
I'm on your left.

871
00:57:56,890 --> 00:58:00,393
Please, stop.
I can't do this anymore!

872
00:58:02,854 --> 00:58:04,356
(WHIMPERING)

873
00:58:04,773 --> 00:58:06,358
I can't see anything now!

874
00:58:06,858 --> 00:58:07,859
Good.

875
00:58:19,537 --> 00:58:21,498
When I say "go,"
turn sharp right.

876
00:58:21,581 --> 00:58:22,791
Uh-huh.

877
00:58:26,586 --> 00:58:28,838
Three, two, one.

878
00:58:29,339 --> 00:58:30,340
Go!

879
00:58:30,715 --> 00:58:33,093
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(WHIMPERING)

880
00:58:33,593 --> 00:58:35,512
And straighten up,
straighten up, straighten up.

881
00:58:35,595 --> 00:58:36,805
And go!

882
00:58:37,597 --> 00:58:38,598
Let's go, let's go.

883
00:58:41,226 --> 00:58:42,560
(SCOFFS)

884
00:58:47,399 --> 00:58:49,317
Oh, nowjust bear left
a little. Good.

885
00:58:49,734 --> 00:58:51,111
Straighten up, straighten up.

886
00:58:55,573 --> 00:58:56,574
Good!

887
00:59:00,704 --> 00:59:02,997
Well, that was
very good, Mrs. Trattner.

888
00:59:03,164 --> 00:59:04,666
(MRS. TRATTNER WHIMPERING)

889
00:59:05,750 --> 00:59:07,961
I think you made
some real progress today.

890
00:59:09,546 --> 00:59:11,065
PEGASUS: <i>You're
not hearing me, English.</i>

891
00:59:11,089 --> 00:59:14,151
<i>Given the Prime Minister's new friendship
with Volta, the situation has changed.</i>

892
00:59:14,175 --> 00:59:18,805
But the facts haven't, sir. That
attack is Volta's responsibility.

893
00:59:18,888 --> 00:59:21,349
According to you, but not
according to anyone else.

894
00:59:21,433 --> 00:59:22,851
PRIME MINISTER:
Is he here yet?

895
00:59:23,476 --> 00:59:25,854
Good afternoon, Prime Minister.
So, this is, uh...

896
00:59:26,104 --> 00:59:28,898
English, Prime Minister.
Johnny English.

897
00:59:29,190 --> 00:59:31,693
VVhatexaofly do you have
to say for yourself?

898
00:59:31,985 --> 00:59:33,737
Rather a lot, actually.

899
00:59:34,028 --> 00:59:37,615
However, men like me don't deal
in prevarication, Prime Minister,

900
00:59:37,699 --> 00:59:39,367
so let me get
straight to the point.

901
00:59:39,451 --> 00:59:42,704
Jason Volta is the man
behind these attacks.

902
00:59:42,787 --> 00:59:45,373
And I have the evidence
to prove it.

903
00:59:46,416 --> 00:59:50,128
I managed to record this
inside Volta's country lair.

904
00:59:50,253 --> 00:59:51,755
But I should warn you,
Prime Minister,

905
00:59:51,880 --> 00:59:55,800
that what you're about to see
is evil incarnate.

906
00:59:57,802 --> 00:59:59,012
Hmm.

907
01:00:01,222 --> 01:00:04,184
<i>Here we are
at Fifi's third birthday!</i>

908
01:00:04,267 --> 01:00:06,519
<i>And it's a very exciting day!</i>

909
01:00:06,603 --> 01:00:08,021
(GUESTS LAUGHING)

910
01:00:08,313 --> 01:00:11,065
ALL: <i>Hip hip, hooray!
Hip hip, hooray!</i>

911
01:00:12,108 --> 01:00:15,278
ALL: (SINGING)
<i>Happy birthday to you</i>

912
01:00:16,446 --> 01:00:20,283
<i>Happy birthday to you</i>

913
01:00:20,366 --> 01:00:21,576
(VIDEO STOPS)

914
01:00:21,659 --> 01:00:22,660
Thank you.

915
01:00:23,119 --> 01:00:25,538
Can I just ask,
what is wrong with you?

916
01:00:26,831 --> 01:00:29,209
The country is in a state
of complete chaos.

917
01:00:29,292 --> 01:00:30,460
The press is wetting itself,

918
01:00:30,543 --> 01:00:32,504
and the only person
capable of saving us

919
01:00:32,587 --> 01:00:34,839
is the man you're accusing
of high treason.

920
01:00:35,799 --> 01:00:39,093
I was in the room myself when he
gave the order, Prime Minister!

921
01:00:39,219 --> 01:00:40,428
But there was a...

922
01:00:40,512 --> 01:00:42,198
Do you know what I was
in the room with, English?

923
01:00:42,222 --> 01:00:43,908
Your file, which I've read,
in its entirety,

924
01:00:43,932 --> 01:00:45,012
and I have a few questions.

925
01:00:45,099 --> 01:00:46,643
Did you or did you not burn

926
01:00:46,726 --> 01:00:49,187
the Cote de Roc restaurant in
Antibes to the ground?

927
01:00:49,270 --> 01:00:50,355
Um...

928
01:00:50,438 --> 01:00:52,816
And did you or did you not
fire a guided missile

929
01:00:52,941 --> 01:00:54,567
at a peloton of French cyclists?

930
01:00:55,109 --> 01:00:56,110
Well...

931
01:00:56,236 --> 01:00:57,654
Before commandeering
an open-top bus

932
01:00:57,779 --> 01:00:59,906
and tossing the tour guide
off the top deck,

933
01:01:00,031 --> 01:01:02,343
and then assaulting an 82-year-old
grandmother in a sandwich shop

934
01:01:02,367 --> 01:01:04,619
before battering the employee
of said sandwich shop

935
01:01:04,702 --> 01:01:06,621
with two organic
sourdough baguettes?

936
01:01:07,747 --> 01:01:09,499
Uh, I don't remember the...

937
01:01:09,624 --> 01:01:12,710
Do you have any idea
how hard it is to be me?

938
01:01:14,295 --> 01:01:15,922
PRIME MINISTER: Hmm?

939
01:01:16,840 --> 01:01:18,842
Do you have even
the foggiest notion

940
01:01:18,967 --> 01:01:22,470
of how virtually impossible
it is to get anything done

941
01:01:22,595 --> 01:01:27,267
in the face of events
and facts and voters

942
01:01:27,392 --> 01:01:30,520
and that tsunami of tosspots
we call "the national press"?

943
01:01:30,645 --> 01:01:33,982
Finally I get the chance to do
something good for my country,

944
01:01:34,065 --> 01:01:35,316
and what happens?

945
01:01:35,441 --> 01:01:38,027
The universe sends me you.

946
01:01:39,779 --> 01:01:41,322
Well, do you know what I say?

947
01:01:41,406 --> 01:01:44,325
I say, up the universe's arse!

948
01:01:44,450 --> 01:01:46,494
And do you know what else I say?
You're fired.

949
01:01:46,578 --> 01:01:48,621
With immediate effect.
Now get out!

950
01:01:48,997 --> 01:01:53,042
And make sure I never clap eyes
on that imbecile ever again!

951
01:01:53,167 --> 01:01:55,169
(FOOTSTEPS RECEDING)

952
01:02:02,218 --> 01:02:03,678
(KEYS JANGLING)

953
01:02:09,225 --> 01:02:10,560
(SIGHS)

954
01:02:19,193 --> 01:02:21,070
(ENGINE STALLING)

955
01:02:27,827 --> 01:02:29,621
(THUNDER RUMBLING)

956
01:02:35,001 --> 01:02:36,836
BOUGH: What
are you doing, sir?

957
01:02:37,921 --> 01:02:41,049
What do you think I'm doing,
Bough? I'm going home.

958
01:02:41,424 --> 01:02:43,843
But the Prime Minister is
finalizing her deal with Volta.

959
01:02:43,968 --> 01:02:47,221
She's taking him to the G12 Summit
in Scotland as her special guest.

960
01:02:47,347 --> 01:02:51,351
It's over, Bough. And there's
absolutely nothing we can do about it.

961
01:02:52,060 --> 01:02:54,729
But, sir, I have a plan.

962
01:02:55,104 --> 01:02:56,898
Remember my wife?

963
01:03:05,782 --> 01:03:07,075
Clear your baffles.

964
01:03:07,784 --> 01:03:09,577
(MOUTHS) What?
Mind your head, sir.

965
01:03:09,661 --> 01:03:10,745
Ow!

966
01:03:13,831 --> 01:03:15,083
This says we're sinking.

967
01:03:18,753 --> 01:03:23,633
She's old and a little rusty, but she can
put on a hell of a fireworks display.

968
01:03:40,525 --> 01:03:42,318
Excellent work, Commander.

969
01:03:42,610 --> 01:03:45,405
Jeremy has always spoken very
highly of you, Agent English.

970
01:03:46,572 --> 01:03:47,573
Who?

971
01:03:49,492 --> 01:03:50,660
Oh.

972
01:03:50,743 --> 01:03:52,412
Oh, yes, yes.

973
01:03:54,288 --> 01:03:56,416
I'm no fan of the pen
pushers myself, so

974
01:03:56,499 --> 01:03:58,519
when orders came through
stationing us here for the Summit,

975
01:03:58,543 --> 01:04:00,962
well, I thought a lift was
the least I could do.

976
01:04:01,295 --> 01:04:03,214
Right, let's get
a move on, Bough.

977
01:04:04,632 --> 01:04:06,443
Oh, if you wouldn't mind
keeping your mobiles off

978
01:04:06,467 --> 01:04:07,827
until you're well clear,
gentlemen.

979
01:04:07,885 --> 01:04:10,388
The launch systems on the
missiles are a bit 1980s.

980
01:04:10,471 --> 01:04:13,224
Gets a tad twitchy
around microwave radiation.

981
01:04:13,349 --> 01:04:17,353
No problem there, Commander. We're
doing this mission old-school.

982
01:04:23,317 --> 01:04:24,819
(GRAPPLE GUN FIRES)

983
01:04:27,488 --> 01:04:29,157
This spot is perfect.

984
01:04:30,742 --> 01:04:32,076
Come on.

985
01:04:33,494 --> 01:04:35,288
(STRAINING)

986
01:04:41,753 --> 01:04:43,755
(PANTING)

987
01:04:44,464 --> 01:04:46,132
(YELPING)

988
01:04:47,592 --> 01:04:48,593
(WHISPERS) Sorry, sir.

989
01:04:48,676 --> 01:04:50,136
Come on, come on...

990
01:04:52,013 --> 01:04:53,765
Right, Bough. Our
mission here is simple.

991
01:04:53,931 --> 01:04:57,310
Gain access to Volta's bedroom
and take him out.

992
01:04:57,727 --> 01:04:59,807
BOUGH: How are you going to
get up there, though, sw?

993
01:05:00,063 --> 01:05:03,357
A walk in the park
for the exoskeleton.

994
01:05:09,822 --> 01:05:12,867
ENGLISH: Remotely operated
neoprene bodysuit.

995
01:05:12,992 --> 01:05:15,912
Increases the wearer's
strength 100 times.

996
01:05:16,287 --> 01:05:19,582
Right, power it up. Stick in
the floppy disk and let's go.

997
01:05:23,252 --> 01:05:24,670
(BEEPING)

998
01:05:27,882 --> 01:05:28,883
Just”

999
01:05:45,358 --> 01:05:46,567
Crikey, sir!

1000
01:06:03,000 --> 01:06:04,836
JASON: When will
the weapon be ready?

1001
01:06:04,961 --> 01:06:08,589
XANDER: <i>As soon as the Prime Minister
signs the agreement, tonight.</i>

1002
01:06:08,714 --> 01:06:10,049
JASON: How do I fire it?

1003
01:06:10,174 --> 01:06:12,760
<i>Press once and the attack
is launched.</i>

1004
01:06:13,010 --> 01:06:16,472
<i>After which, the data
of every G12 country</i>

1005
01:06:16,597 --> 01:06:20,101
<i>will be transferred to the
servers on board the Dot</i> Calm.

1006
01:06:20,184 --> 01:06:21,185
JASON: Perfect.

1007
01:06:22,854 --> 01:06:23,938
Ah.

1008
01:06:25,356 --> 01:06:26,357
Cheers.

1009
01:06:31,571 --> 01:06:33,406
(EXHALES)

1010
01:06:34,782 --> 01:06:38,077
You're working for Russian Intelligence
and you have been from the start.

1011
01:06:38,578 --> 01:06:41,390
Which is why I've taken an antidote
to the poison you keep in your ring,

1012
01:06:41,414 --> 01:06:43,082
and which you've poured
into this drink.

1013
01:06:44,834 --> 01:06:47,128
And removed the firing pin
from that pistol.

1014
01:06:48,462 --> 01:06:49,589
(GUN CLICKING)

1015
01:06:52,675 --> 01:06:54,135
(BREATHING HEAVILY)

1016
01:06:55,970 --> 01:06:57,930
Everyone has to make a life
for themselves.

1017
01:06:58,222 --> 01:07:00,349
It's just sad that yours is

1018
01:07:01,434 --> 01:07:02,476
over.

1019
01:07:02,560 --> 01:07:03,644
Hmm.

1020
01:07:03,728 --> 01:07:07,023
Fresh from my 3D printer.
Hundred percent plastic.

1021
01:07:10,234 --> 01:07:11,903
And 100% deadly.

1022
01:07:13,070 --> 01:07:14,989
Killing me won't save you.
(JASON CHUCKLES)

1023
01:07:15,907 --> 01:07:16,908
Don't bet on it.

1024
01:07:18,201 --> 01:07:20,077
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)

1025
01:07:21,662 --> 01:07:24,040
Seriously,
this cannot be happening.

1026
01:07:24,248 --> 01:07:26,125
Oh, but it is.

1027
01:07:27,168 --> 01:07:28,336
Drop the gun.

1028
01:07:29,253 --> 01:07:30,588
Get your hands in the air.

1029
01:07:31,547 --> 01:07:32,548
And you.

1030
01:07:40,640 --> 01:07:41,933
There's no time
for this, Johnny.

1031
01:07:42,808 --> 01:07:44,268
Oh, it isn't possible.

1032
01:07:44,352 --> 01:07:47,104
You cannot be working
with this English idiot!

1033
01:07:47,188 --> 01:07:50,608
Save the pillow talk
for your prison cell, Volta.

1034
01:07:50,942 --> 01:07:54,779
Are you inside. sir? Yes. yes.
Bough. you can power down.

1035
01:07:55,154 --> 01:07:56,989
Everything is under control.

1036
01:07:57,949 --> 01:07:59,283
Shut down.
(BEEPS)

1037
01:07:59,367 --> 01:08:00,451
(POWERING DOWN)

1038
01:08:00,743 --> 01:08:01,911
(SCREAMING)

1039
01:08:04,497 --> 01:08:05,873
(CONTINUES SCREAMING)

1040
01:08:15,549 --> 01:08:17,260
(GRUNTING)

1041
01:08:23,849 --> 01:08:26,269
REPORTER: An historic venue
for an historic meeting.

1042
01:08:26,352 --> 01:08:30,273
The delegates from each G12 member
nation will have their own priorities...

1043
01:08:30,398 --> 01:08:32,316
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

1044
01:08:39,865 --> 01:08:41,367
(SHIVERING)

1045
01:08:41,617 --> 01:08:43,160
How do we get in now, sir?

1046
01:08:43,369 --> 01:08:45,204
(TEETH CHATTERING)

1047
01:08:46,497 --> 01:08:48,666
(BAGPIPES PLAYING)

1048
01:08:51,919 --> 01:08:53,587
(STAMMERS) What's the plan?

1049
01:08:55,589 --> 01:08:57,216
(BAND PLAYING FOLK MUSIC)

1050
01:09:05,433 --> 01:09:07,518
(PLAYING OFF-KEY)

1051
01:09:28,664 --> 01:09:30,082
GUARD: Hey, you!

1052
01:09:30,750 --> 01:09:31,834
Hey!

1053
01:09:44,638 --> 01:09:46,265
(REPORTERS CLAMORING)

1054
01:09:47,892 --> 01:09:50,686
Thank you very much. I hope
you have everything you need.

1055
01:10:07,578 --> 01:10:08,788
ENGLISH: OW!

1056
01:10:09,038 --> 01:10:10,581
On behalf of the United Kingdom,

1057
01:10:10,706 --> 01:10:14,251
may I welcome you here today to
this ancient meeting ohamber

1058
01:10:14,377 --> 01:10:16,670
where the great Scottish clans

1059
01:10:16,796 --> 01:10:20,549
once settled their differences
and forged new alliances.

1060
01:10:21,300 --> 01:10:23,511
A place I have
specifically chosen

1061
01:10:23,594 --> 01:10:26,806
in order to make
a very special announcement.

1062
01:10:27,807 --> 01:10:28,808
(ENGLISH GROANING)
Sir?

1063
01:10:30,101 --> 01:10:34,063
Are you all right, sir? ENGLISH: No,
I'm not all right. Get me up, Bough.

1064
01:10:34,146 --> 01:10:36,399
(BOTH GRUNTING)

1065
01:10:37,775 --> 01:10:41,320
It's very heavy, sir.
I know how heavy it is. Bough.

1066
01:10:44,240 --> 01:10:45,950
We've got to get
to the conference...

1067
01:10:47,868 --> 01:10:50,079
To the conference room
before Volta...

1068
01:10:51,789 --> 01:10:53,999
Before Volta triggers
his weapon.

1069
01:10:55,543 --> 01:10:59,338
And so, with my signature
on this agreement...

1070
01:11:01,048 --> 01:11:03,134
it gives me great pleasure, oh,

1071
01:11:03,217 --> 01:11:07,930
to welcome to you my guest,
my friend, Jason Volta.

1072
01:11:10,850 --> 01:11:14,186
XANDER: <i>(IN</i> EARPIECE) <i>Standing
by to launch attack, Jason.</i>

1073
01:11:14,478 --> 01:11:16,647
<i>Damn it. get me out of Ms stun.
Johnny?</i>

1074
01:11:16,772 --> 01:11:18,875
BOUGH: I can't see the join, sir.
ENGLISH: It's the clasp.

1075
01:11:18,899 --> 01:11:21,861
Release the clasp andthetop
and the bottom separate.

1076
01:11:23,821 --> 01:11:25,781
BOUGH: Must have jammed
when you fell over, sir.

1077
01:11:25,948 --> 01:11:27,992
For goodness sake.
Wait. Try this.

1078
01:11:31,370 --> 01:11:33,038
(OIL SQUIRTING)

1079
01:11:34,874 --> 01:11:36,876
That is quite a lot of oil, sir.

1080
01:11:37,960 --> 01:11:40,379
Oh, come on!
Come on, come on...

1081
01:11:41,505 --> 01:11:45,217
Can you imagine what the world would
look like if it was run by Apple?

1082
01:11:46,677 --> 01:11:49,096
Or Google? Or...

1083
01:11:49,638 --> 01:11:50,723
Me?

1084
01:11:50,931 --> 01:11:52,933
(CHUCKUNG)
(SHUSHES)

1085
01:11:53,976 --> 01:11:56,061
Do you think
you'd have failing schools?

1086
01:11:56,812 --> 01:11:59,148
Do you think you'd have endless
waiting in your hospitals?

1087
01:11:59,231 --> 01:12:00,232
No.

1088
01:12:00,316 --> 01:12:03,068
Think you'd have such long
lines in your airports?

1089
01:12:03,194 --> 01:12:04,737
No.
PRIME MINISTER: No.

1090
01:12:05,070 --> 01:12:09,492
No, because all of these are
simple data management problems.

1091
01:12:09,617 --> 01:12:12,286
And people like me,
we love data.

1092
01:12:13,037 --> 01:12:15,706
We live for data.

1093
01:12:16,123 --> 01:12:17,833
ENGLISH: Hal

1094
01:12:17,958 --> 01:12:20,294
Do you know
what I live for, Volta?

1095
01:12:20,377 --> 01:12:21,438
(PEOPLE MURMURING)
PRIME MINISTER: God.

1096
01:12:21,462 --> 01:12:26,842
Eliminating the threat that lying
villains like you pose to this country.

1097
01:12:27,134 --> 01:12:28,344
Oh, for God's sake.

1098
01:12:28,636 --> 01:12:30,179
Who is he?
(MURMURING CONTINUES)

1099
01:12:30,346 --> 01:12:31,764
Arrest this whack job.

1100
01:12:31,889 --> 01:12:34,975
The only person ordering an
arrest around here will be me.

1101
01:12:35,768 --> 01:12:38,145
There's no cause for concern,
ladies and gentlemen,

1102
01:12:38,270 --> 01:12:42,942
you are now in the capable hands
of Her Majesty's Secret Service.

1103
01:12:43,275 --> 01:12:47,947
And you, my friend, are in for
an uncomfortable ride.

1104
01:12:48,239 --> 01:12:49,406
(GASPS)

1105
01:12:53,202 --> 01:12:54,703
(ENGLISH SCREAMING)

1106
01:12:56,580 --> 01:12:59,667
(ARMOR CLATTERING)

1107
01:12:59,750 --> 01:13:01,585
(CRASHING)
(OBJECTS CLATTERING)

1108
01:13:04,463 --> 01:13:05,798
Where was I?

1109
01:13:07,258 --> 01:13:09,009
Living for data.

1110
01:13:09,385 --> 01:13:10,469
Exactly.

1111
01:13:11,804 --> 01:13:16,809
My algorithms can solve every one of your
problems as long as I have one thing.

1112
01:13:16,892 --> 01:13:17,977
Control.

1113
01:13:18,644 --> 01:13:21,981
And that is what you are about
to give me now.

1114
01:13:22,606 --> 01:13:24,775
Jason, I wonder
if you could just clarify...

1115
01:13:24,858 --> 01:13:25,943
Shut up.

1116
01:13:26,485 --> 01:13:27,736
(ALL PROTESTING)
Now, hold on.

1117
01:13:29,071 --> 01:13:30,739
<i>XANDER: Castle now locked down</i>

1118
01:13:31,782 --> 01:13:34,034
<i>and under your control, Jason.</i>

1119
01:13:35,995 --> 01:13:38,414
The agreement this ignoramus
just signed

1120
01:13:38,497 --> 01:13:41,166
didn't just give me access
to all the UK's data.

1121
01:13:41,292 --> 01:13:45,254
It also gave me access to a
junction box, in North Ayrshire

1122
01:13:45,379 --> 01:13:47,923
that connects
the entire World Wide Web.

1123
01:13:48,215 --> 01:13:53,887
Disable the fiber-optic cables in that box
and the Internet will cease to exist.

1124
01:13:55,180 --> 01:13:57,766
(ENGLISH GROANING)
OPHELIA: Johnny? Are you okay?

1125
01:13:58,684 --> 01:14:00,644
(BOTH GRUNTING)

1126
01:14:05,107 --> 01:14:07,943
Have you got a phone?
We need to call for backup.

1127
01:14:08,027 --> 01:14:10,988
There's no time for backup.
I'm going after Volta.

1128
01:14:11,071 --> 01:14:12,781
And don't lose that one!

1129
01:14:13,824 --> 01:14:17,745
Do you understand what it means
if I turn the Internet off?

1130
01:14:17,953 --> 01:14:22,291
Cities will go dark. Planes
will fall out of the sky.

1131
01:14:23,000 --> 01:14:26,462
Trains will collide.
Law and order will break down

1132
01:14:26,545 --> 01:14:29,423
and the world as you know it
will be over.

1133
01:14:30,132 --> 01:14:32,760
Show, don't tell, right?

1134
01:14:35,137 --> 01:14:36,472
(BEEPS)

1135
01:14:36,555 --> 01:14:38,557
<i>XANDER:
Initiating attack, Jason.</i>

1136
01:14:39,475 --> 01:14:41,477
<i>Taking control of junction box.</i>

1137
01:14:42,603 --> 01:14:47,483
<i>Suspending Internet and electricity
supply across Britain and Europe.</i>

1138
01:14:48,525 --> 01:14:50,944
<i>Stage one of attack complete.</i>
(ALL GASP)

1139
01:14:51,445 --> 01:14:54,740
Ladies and gentlemen.
I can stop the attack

1140
01:14:54,823 --> 01:14:58,327
as long as each of you signs the same
agreement as the Prime Minister,

1141
01:14:58,410 --> 01:15:00,412
giving me complete control.

1142
01:15:01,330 --> 01:15:02,748
Your call.

1143
01:15:03,582 --> 01:15:06,377
AUTOMATED VOICE: <i>Welcome to British
Intelligence. Get me Pegasus!</i>

1144
01:15:06,794 --> 01:15:10,547
<i>For Ml5, press one.
For MIG, press two.</i>

1145
01:15:10,964 --> 01:15:13,300
<i>(SIGHS)
For M17, press three.</i>

1146
01:15:15,260 --> 01:15:16,428
(TRILLING)

1147
01:15:19,890 --> 01:15:23,060
XANDER: <i>Eight G12 signatures
now acquired.</i>

1148
01:15:24,103 --> 01:15:26,689
Signal the chopper,
we're almost done here.

1149
01:15:27,106 --> 01:15:28,899
AUTOMATED VOICE:
<i>For accounts, press five.</i>

1150
01:15:28,982 --> 01:15:31,318
<i>For childcare services. press six.
Oh.</i> come <i>on!</i>

1151
01:15:31,443 --> 01:15:33,779
<i>For more options, press seven.</i>

1152
01:15:34,279 --> 01:15:35,989
(ALARM BLARING)

1153
01:15:36,323 --> 01:15:37,324
LYDIA: What?

1154
01:15:38,742 --> 01:15:43,914
XANDER: <i>Only two further signatures required
to achieve control of G12 nations' data.</i>

1155
01:15:44,748 --> 01:15:46,166
<i>All UK data</i>

1156
01:15:46,250 --> 01:15:49,044
<i>new successfully transferred
to the Dot</i> Calm. (SIGHS)

1157
01:15:49,169 --> 01:15:52,673
AUTOMATED VOICE: <i>For Aphrodite, press one.
For Pegasus, press two.</i>

1158
01:15:53,757 --> 01:15:55,134
(ALARM BLARING)

1159
01:15:55,217 --> 01:15:56,218
Oh, my God.

1160
01:15:56,301 --> 01:16:00,013
<i>Dive the submarine.
Repeat, dive the submarine.</i>

1161
01:16:00,139 --> 01:16:02,099
(PHONE RINGING)

1162
01:16:02,808 --> 01:16:04,935
Director's office?
<i>This is Johnny English.</i>

1163
01:16:05,060 --> 01:16:09,273
I need to speak to Pegasus immediately.
It's a national emergency.

1164
01:16:09,398 --> 01:16:10,958
(PHONE RINGING)
One moment, please, sir.

1165
01:16:12,860 --> 01:16:14,003
LYDIA: <i>This</i> is HMS Vengeance.

1166
01:16:14,027 --> 01:16:17,656
We have a full launch code.
Repeat, launch code is locked.

1167
01:16:17,781 --> 01:16:19,783
<i>Do I have your permission
to fire?</i>

1168
01:16:19,908 --> 01:16:22,244
Oh, my God. Could you hold on
one moment, please?

1169
01:16:22,369 --> 01:16:24,121
Sir? Sir!

1170
01:16:25,080 --> 01:16:26,081
Hello?

1171
01:16:26,331 --> 01:16:27,332
<i>Hello?</i>

1172
01:16:27,416 --> 01:16:30,544
Sir! HMS <i>Vengeance here.</i> Do I
<i>have</i> your permission tolaunch?

1173
01:16:30,669 --> 01:16:33,589
ENGLISH: <i>What? Listen, we
have to call in an attack.</i>

1174
01:16:33,672 --> 01:16:34,983
LYDIA: <i>Did you say
"atta ck," sir?</i>

1175
01:16:35,007 --> 01:16:37,342
ENGLISH:
<i>Yes, an attack. Attack.</i>

1176
01:16:38,719 --> 01:16:41,388
General quarters,
we are go for launch.

1177
01:16:41,513 --> 01:16:43,432
Target coordinates locked,
Commander.

1178
01:16:43,557 --> 01:16:44,558
Hello?

1179
01:16:46,477 --> 01:16:47,519
Hello?

1180
01:16:47,603 --> 01:16:49,062
(ALARM BLARING)

1181
01:16:49,188 --> 01:16:50,439
(GASPS)

1182
01:16:57,946 --> 01:17:00,491
SAILOR: Commander, the
missile is being redirected.

1183
01:17:01,325 --> 01:17:03,994
It seems to be looking on
to a new hostile target.

1184
01:17:06,622 --> 01:17:07,998
What's a "Sherbet F"?

1185
01:17:08,123 --> 01:17:09,416
(BEEPING)

1186
01:17:19,301 --> 01:17:21,428
Oh. no. What was that?
(ALL GASP)

1187
01:17:21,512 --> 01:17:22,888
(PANICKED CHATTER)

1188
01:17:22,971 --> 01:17:26,016
XANDER: <i>Dot Calm appears
to be offline, Jason.</i>

1189
01:17:26,183 --> 01:17:28,852
<i>The cyber attack
has been halted.</i>

1190
01:17:32,898 --> 01:17:34,233
Did you

1191
01:17:34,608 --> 01:17:37,194
make a call quite close
to the submarine, sir?

1192
01:17:40,072 --> 01:17:41,198
Um...

1193
01:17:41,281 --> 01:17:42,366
Because”.

1194
01:17:43,367 --> 01:17:44,701
You did it, sir!

1195
01:17:45,869 --> 01:17:47,621
Mission accomplished!

1196
01:17:48,163 --> 01:17:49,665
VVeH, exacfly!

1197
01:17:51,416 --> 01:17:54,503
XANDER: <i>I am re-evaluating
our options, Jason.</i>

1198
01:17:54,586 --> 01:17:56,255
(CHATTERING CONTINUES)

1199
01:18:01,009 --> 01:18:02,845
OPHELIA: Johnny! Johnny!

1200
01:18:02,928 --> 01:18:06,014
Volta is getting away! He's
heading for his helicopter!

1201
01:18:06,098 --> 01:18:07,391
No, Bough.

1202
01:18:08,600 --> 01:18:10,269
This one's mine.

1203
01:18:13,105 --> 01:18:14,565
(GRUNTING)

1204
01:18:29,538 --> 01:18:31,164
(GRUNTING)

1205
01:18:43,886 --> 01:18:45,554
Careful, sir. Sir?

1206
01:18:45,637 --> 01:18:47,556
(GRUNTING)

1207
01:18:56,607 --> 01:18:58,275
Last two steps, sir.

1208
01:18:58,358 --> 01:18:59,484
(GROANS)

1209
01:19:01,862 --> 01:19:02,905
(GASPS)

1210
01:19:03,363 --> 01:19:05,282
Not so fast, Volta!

1211
01:19:05,616 --> 01:19:06,825
(JASON LAUGHS)

1212
01:19:06,909 --> 01:19:08,994
Is this supposed to scare me,
Sir Lancelot?

1213
01:19:09,077 --> 01:19:11,079
(GRUNTING)

1214
01:19:14,124 --> 01:19:15,375
Take cover, Bough.

1215
01:19:22,007 --> 01:19:25,552
Don't worry, he's only got six
bullets in that thing.

1216
01:19:25,636 --> 01:19:26,845
(GUN CLICKING)

1217
01:19:29,014 --> 01:19:30,724
And, of course,
the thing itself.

1218
01:19:30,807 --> 01:19:32,309
(HELICOPTER POWERING UP)

1219
01:19:33,143 --> 01:19:35,187
You've run out
of options, Volta.

1220
01:19:36,021 --> 01:19:37,314
Oh, you think you've won?

1221
01:19:37,397 --> 01:19:38,607
Mmm.

1222
01:19:39,191 --> 01:19:42,235
XANDER: <i>Rerouting the attack
to our Nevada servers, Jason.</i>

1223
01:19:42,861 --> 01:19:46,865
The world's going down, English.
And I'll be the last man standing.

1224
01:19:47,491 --> 01:19:50,535
Goodbye, English!
Goodbye, Internet.

1225
01:19:51,787 --> 01:19:56,458
I've got it. That's a Gazelle
341 light attack helicopter.

1226
01:19:57,042 --> 01:19:59,544
If we can hack into
its operating system,

1227
01:19:59,795 --> 01:20:01,797
we can disable
the drive function.

1228
01:20:02,089 --> 01:20:03,090
Here.

1229
01:20:06,927 --> 01:20:11,056
Look at you! You couldn't use that
thing if your life depended on it!

1230
01:20:11,139 --> 01:20:12,265
(LAUGHS)

1231
01:20:14,017 --> 01:20:15,394
Let's get outta here.

1232
01:20:16,103 --> 01:20:17,813
Get this steel bird in the...
(GROANS)

1233
01:20:23,026 --> 01:20:27,948
XANDER: <i>Rerouting complete. Attack data
now installed at our Nevada servers.</i>

1234
01:20:28,365 --> 01:20:30,158
<i>Should I initiate?</i>

1235
01:20:30,575 --> 01:20:31,576
<i>Jason?</i>

1236
01:20:31,660 --> 01:20:33,662
(ARMOR CLANKING)

1237
01:20:36,248 --> 01:20:38,417
<i>Should I initiate
the new attack?</i>

1238
01:20:39,459 --> 01:20:41,962
Initiate this!

1239
01:20:42,045 --> 01:20:44,464
XANDER: (DISTORTED) <i>Jason.</i>

1240
01:20:54,349 --> 01:20:54,808
(CAMERAS CLICKING)

1241
01:20:54,808 --> 01:20:55,642
(CAMERAS CLICKING)

1242
01:20:55,726 --> 01:20:57,161
PRIME MINISTER: Well, uh,
ladies and gentlemen.

1243
01:20:57,185 --> 01:21:01,064
I think we can all agree, that wasn't
quite the evening we were expecting.

1244
01:21:01,148 --> 01:21:02,649
(WEAK LAUGHTER)

1245
01:21:04,901 --> 01:21:06,319
(PRIME MINISTER CLEARS THROAT)

1246
01:21:06,403 --> 01:21:08,405
I had hoped to present
to you tonight...

1247
01:21:08,530 --> 01:21:10,824
Thank you... a vision of
what Britain might be.

1248
01:21:11,241 --> 01:21:14,995
But, as it happens, the man who
saved us all this evening,

1249
01:21:15,078 --> 01:21:18,623
the man who, I might add, I
personally assigned to this case,

1250
01:21:19,249 --> 01:21:21,460
has presented us with a
different kind of vision.

1251
01:21:21,543 --> 01:21:25,839
A living embodiment, if you like, of
those fundamental British qualities

1252
01:21:25,922 --> 01:21:30,218
that have ensured that our
beloved island nation endures.

1253
01:21:30,719 --> 01:21:33,638
Courage under fire,
endless ingenuity

1254
01:21:33,722 --> 01:21:35,640
and above all, a quiet

1255
01:21:36,266 --> 01:21:38,977
unassailable dignity.

1256
01:21:39,978 --> 01:21:41,980
(PEOPLE GASPING)

1257
01:21:43,607 --> 01:21:45,525
(CAMERAS CLICKING)

1258
01:21:54,409 --> 01:21:55,452
(GROANS)

1259
01:21:58,121 --> 01:21:59,372
Thank you.

1260
01:22:06,546 --> 01:22:07,964
All together.
(ALL CHEERING)

1261
01:22:14,387 --> 01:22:15,764
(STUDENTS CONTINUE CHEERING)

1262
01:22:18,850 --> 01:22:20,560
Welcome back, Mr. English.

1263
01:22:20,644 --> 01:22:21,812
Thank you, Headmaster.

1264
01:22:21,895 --> 01:22:23,664
Thank you for agreeing
to be our guest speaker.

1265
01:22:23,688 --> 01:22:26,483
Now the governors and staff are all
waiting for us in the rose garden.

1266
01:22:26,566 --> 01:22:29,486
Yes, if you could just excuse me
for a few minutes, Headmaster.

1267
01:22:30,362 --> 01:22:31,738
(CONFUSED CHATTER)

1268
01:22:35,242 --> 01:22:36,243
Oh.

1269
01:22:38,120 --> 01:22:39,371
Morning. sir!
Hello. sir!

1270
01:22:39,454 --> 01:22:41,706
GIRLS: Welcome back, sir!

1271
01:22:41,790 --> 01:22:43,708
(STUDENTS GREETING)

1272
01:22:45,752 --> 01:22:46,837
Surprise!

1273
01:22:47,796 --> 01:22:48,964
Thank you.

1274
01:22:50,173 --> 01:22:51,758
<i>Where's Sinker?
(STRAKER GRUNTS)</i>

1275
01:22:52,676 --> 01:22:54,469
Good.
Here. sir.

1276
01:22:54,719 --> 01:22:56,638
And, of course, Baggaley.

1277
01:22:56,721 --> 01:22:57,848
(BAGGALEY GROANS)

1278
01:22:57,931 --> 01:22:59,075
That was very good.
Very good.

1279
01:22:59,099 --> 01:23:00,701
All right, gather round,
everyone. Gather round.

1280
01:23:00,725 --> 01:23:01,810
(EXCITED CHATTER)

1281
01:23:01,893 --> 01:23:03,812
I've got some toys to show you.

1282
01:23:03,895 --> 01:23:05,438
ALL: Ooh!
There we go.

1283
01:23:06,523 --> 01:23:08,817
There we are. There we are.

1284
01:23:09,317 --> 01:23:11,403
Breadstick blowpipe. anyone?
ALL: Me!

1285
01:23:11,486 --> 01:23:12,529
There you go.

1286
01:23:12,612 --> 01:23:14,865
Granny Smith hand grenade?

1287
01:23:15,407 --> 01:23:17,409
And what about a garroting watch?
Here. sir.

1288
01:23:17,492 --> 01:23:18,493
There you go.

1289
01:23:18,577 --> 01:23:19,786
(BLOWS)
(GROANS)

1290
01:23:19,870 --> 01:23:21,580
STUDENTS: Ooh!
Here, let me take that.

1291
01:23:21,705 --> 01:23:23,999
Don't worry. It's only a mild sedative.
(GROANING)

1292
01:23:24,082 --> 01:23:25,125
(BEEPING)

1293
01:23:25,208 --> 01:23:27,711
Oh! That's just
a five-second fuse.

1294
01:23:27,794 --> 01:23:28,879
(CHOKING)

1295
01:23:28,962 --> 01:23:31,590
Yes, all right, we all know
what garroting looks like.

1296
01:23:31,715 --> 01:23:33,717
Whenever you're ready,
Mr. English.

1297
01:23:33,842 --> 01:23:36,428
Oh, I'm sorry, Headmaster,
I'll just be one moment.

1298
01:23:36,553 --> 01:23:38,722
Just take those. Thank you.
Ooh.

1299
01:23:39,598 --> 01:23:42,642
Put those away, shall we?
There we...

1300
01:23:43,351 --> 01:23:44,519
Um...

1301
01:23:45,353 --> 01:23:47,189
HEADMASTER: I always
did love a jelly baby.