1
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:12,072
(PLAYING VIDEO GAME ON PHONE)

2
00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:19,704
(ALARM BUZZING)

3
00:01:29,588 --> 00:01:31,132
Oh, bollocks.

4
00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:36,805
We've got a problem.

5
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:39,473
A cyber attack?
Yes. Prime Minister.

6
00:01:39,557 --> 00:01:42,477
(SCOFFS)
Took me two bottles of wine

7
00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:45,396
and half a packet of sleeping
pills to finally nod off.

8
00:01:45,521 --> 00:01:50,026
And you wake me because some fat-fingered
hacker's pinched your PIN number?

9
00:01:50,317 --> 00:01:51,920
Well, it's a little more serious
than that, Prime Minister.

10
00:01:51,944 --> 00:01:53,862
Hmm? The identities of every one

11
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,948
of our serving agents
have been exposed.

12
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:57,992
What?

13
00:01:58,117 --> 00:02:00,120
Who's doing this?
We're not sure. Ma'am.

14
00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:03,039
So one week before I host
my first G12 Summit,

15
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,332
Britain's entire security
apparatus has been taken down

16
00:02:05,457 --> 00:02:06,834
and you know absolutely nothing?

17
00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:09,670
That does pretty much sums up
the situation, ma'am, yes.

18
00:02:09,795 --> 00:02:11,731
Well, you better get someone on
it and find me some answers!

19
00:02:11,756 --> 00:02:14,026
Yes, but that's the problem.
We don't have any agents left.

20
00:02:14,050 --> 00:02:15,092
They've all been outed.

21
00:02:15,342 --> 00:02:17,594
So bring back an old one!

22
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:21,640
(PANTING)

23
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:35,487
All units, this is Juliet Echo.
Stand by for target coordinates.

24
00:02:37,990 --> 00:02:41,995
Target acquired.
Repeat, target acquired.

25
00:02:57,093 --> 00:02:58,344
(YELPS)

26
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:02,806
Now then, what have we here?

27
00:03:03,974 --> 00:03:05,018
(EXHALES)

28
00:03:05,100 --> 00:03:06,227
Sorry, sir.

29
00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:07,979
Never mind, Baggaley.

30
00:03:08,062 --> 00:03:11,106
Your concealment and camouflage
work is definitely improving.

31
00:03:11,231 --> 00:03:12,317
Thank you, sir.

32
00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:13,526
IBADULLA: Come on.

33
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,527
ENGLISH: You, too, Ibadulla.

34
00:03:15,652 --> 00:03:18,823
Excellent. That is
a first-class man-trap.

35
00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:21,367
Six house points.

36
00:03:21,617 --> 00:03:23,036
(TOY GUN FIRING)

37
00:03:23,118 --> 00:03:25,329
Right, let's get back
to school before matron

38
00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:26,848
notices you're missing.
(STUDENTS GROAN)

39
00:03:26,872 --> 00:03:29,417
And don't worry, there aren't
any more booby traps.

40
00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:31,127
(YELLS) (STUDENTS GASP)

41
00:03:32,252 --> 00:03:34,588
Apart from this one, of course.

42
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:37,258
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

43
00:03:49,728 --> 00:03:50,813
Mr. English?

44
00:03:51,105 --> 00:03:52,606
We haven't seen him, sir.

45
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,192
Huh.

46
00:03:55,401 --> 00:03:58,237
(DOOR CLOSES)
And that's camouflage.

47
00:03:58,320 --> 00:03:59,906
(EXCITED CHATTER)

48
00:04:00,990 --> 00:04:02,157
Hmm.

49
00:04:04,493 --> 00:04:06,413
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

50
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:07,497
ENGLISH: And go.

51
00:04:08,580 --> 00:04:09,665
And go.

52
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:11,876
And go.

53
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:15,003
The welfare of your children
is our paramount concern.

54
00:04:15,379 --> 00:04:17,382
They're never exposed
to any unnecessary risk,

55
00:04:17,464 --> 00:04:18,882
I assure you. (STUDENT WHOOPING)

56
00:04:19,591 --> 00:04:21,177
(DEVICE BEEPING)

57
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,305
(GASPS)

58
00:04:29,769 --> 00:04:33,898
I think that's an "F" for your bomb
disposal coursework, Hattersley.

59
00:04:34,356 --> 00:04:37,026
"You're looking particularly
beautiful tonight."

60
00:04:37,151 --> 00:04:40,572
ALL: You're looking
particularly beautiful tonight.

61
00:04:40,863 --> 00:04:41,865
"Ching!"

62
00:04:42,197 --> 00:04:43,449
Ching!

63
00:04:43,740 --> 00:04:45,201
(BELL RINGING)

64
00:04:45,534 --> 00:04:48,079
Have a good half-term, sir!
Thank you.

65
00:04:48,204 --> 00:04:49,872
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

66
00:04:55,961 --> 00:04:57,172
(SIGHS)

67
00:05:39,254 --> 00:05:40,380
(EXHALES)

68
00:05:41,048 --> 00:05:43,300
Are you seriously telling me
this is all we've got?

69
00:05:43,425 --> 00:05:44,761
Most of them are either dead,

70
00:05:44,843 --> 00:05:47,680
having hip operations or
recovering from prostate surgery.

71
00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:49,348
(CLEARS THROAT)

72
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:50,766
Okay.

73
00:05:51,391 --> 00:05:55,146
Before your briefing, we'll need you
to re-sign the Official Secrets Aot.

74
00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:56,439
Thank you.

75
00:05:56,814 --> 00:05:57,856
Thank you.

76
00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:58,942
Thank you.

77
00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:00,944
Thank you very much.

78
00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:03,612
AGENT SEVEN: Any of you
gentlemen remember this?

79
00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:07,617
Ooh, the Mont Blanc Blaster.
Havenfiseen one of those for years.

80
00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:12,538
Take the cap off and, if memory serves,
you've 20 seconds to replace it

81
00:06:12,663 --> 00:06:15,500
or it detonates with the force
of a stun grenade.

82
00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:17,709
(ALL LAUGHING) (GASPS)

83
00:06:18,627 --> 00:06:19,670
(CHUCKLES)

84
00:06:20,379 --> 00:06:22,464
(PEN BEEPING)

85
00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:27,512
(BEEPING INTENSIFIES)

86
00:06:29,596 --> 00:06:30,598
(BEEPING STOPS)

87
00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:32,683
(SIGHS IN RELIEF)

88
00:06:35,978 --> 00:06:37,312
Thank you.

89
00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:42,360
Teas on the left, gentlemen.

90
00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:44,444
And coffees on the right.

91
00:06:44,737 --> 00:06:45,947
AGENT SEVEN: Excellent.

92
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:49,033
Oh, damn it, I forgot my pills.

93
00:06:49,199 --> 00:06:51,326
<i>(AGENTS LAUGHNG) AGENT SEVEN:
Here, have some of m'me.</i>

94
00:06:52,911 --> 00:06:54,997
Scotch whisky, single malt?

95
00:06:55,122 --> 00:06:56,957
AGENT FIVE: Thank you very much.

96
00:06:57,165 --> 00:06:59,168
Coffee. Oh.

97
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,504
Here, let me help you with that.

98
00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:07,884
Tea?

99
00:07:12,055 --> 00:07:13,266
(BEEPING)

100
00:07:13,348 --> 00:07:16,144
Ooh, this one just needs
a little top-up of hot water.

101
00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:18,228
I'll be right back.

102
00:07:18,312 --> 00:07:19,314
(DOOR OPENS)

103
00:07:20,105 --> 00:07:22,358
AGENT SEVEN: Man's a divot
of the first order.

104
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,776
Someone should put him
out of his misery.

105
00:07:24,901 --> 00:07:27,947
AGENT FIVE: Along with whoever
furnished this room.

106
00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:30,115


107
00:07:31,533 --> 00:07:32,701
(EXPLOSION)

108
00:07:34,036 --> 00:07:35,204
Oh!

109
00:07:37,497 --> 00:07:39,500
PEGASUS: Ah, good morning.
Sorry to keep you.

110
00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:40,752
(CLEARS THROAT)

111
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,211
Are the others here?

112
00:07:43,504 --> 00:07:44,755
Um...

113
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,007
PEGASUS: Oh.

114
00:07:47,091 --> 00:07:48,384
(AGENTS SNORING)

115
00:07:51,303 --> 00:07:54,723
They, um... They nodded off.

116
00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:56,266
Right...

117
00:07:57,518 --> 00:07:58,810
And who are you exactly?

118
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:00,396
EngHsh.

119
00:08:01,355 --> 00:08:03,065
Johnny English. PEGASUS: Well...

120
00:08:04,524 --> 00:08:06,026
“English...“ (SCOFFS)

121
00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:08,821
You'll leave immediately.

122
00:08:08,904 --> 00:08:10,990
My people will give you
the full briefing en route.

123
00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:12,408
Oh, is there anything you need?

124
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:16,204
Yes, nerve gas nasal spray,
a type-four exoskeleton...

125
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:18,247
You should probably
start a list.

126
00:08:18,372 --> 00:08:21,793
And a garroting watch, with a rubber
strap, not the steel bracelet

127
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:25,254
because the links get caught in
the little hairs on my wrist.

128
00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:27,673
Oh, and I'll also need a Bough.

129
00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:29,716
What's a Bough?

130
00:08:29,841 --> 00:08:31,009
(DOOR OPENS)

131
00:08:31,093 --> 00:08:32,095
Sir!

132
00:08:32,970 --> 00:08:34,096
(LAUGHING)

133
00:08:34,179 --> 00:08:36,014
Wonderful to see you!

134
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:39,936
Yes, all right, Bough. We're going
on a mission, not a honeymoon.

135
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:41,770
Yes, of course, sir.

136
00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:45,441
Ah. I think it's the pin of your
buckle, sir. It's caught on myjumper.

137
00:08:45,524 --> 00:08:46,876
Yes, I can see
what's wrong, Bough.

138
00:08:46,900 --> 00:08:50,071
If you go to your left
and I'll go to my right.

139
00:08:51,447 --> 00:08:54,701
I'm sorry, no, if you go to your
right and I'll go to my left.

140
00:08:56,744 --> 00:09:00,288
No. If I go clockwise
and you go anti-clockwise...

141
00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:02,809
Er, no, I think that's
making it worse, sir.

142
00:09:02,833 --> 00:09:05,253
Hmm. I'm surprised
that didn't work.

143
00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:13,677
Good morning, sir. I have your
agent activation pack here.

144
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:15,888
Department-issue smartphone.

145
00:09:15,971 --> 00:09:20,268
580-megapixel camera,
4.7-inch retina HD display.

146
00:09:20,350 --> 00:09:25,355
Hmm-hmm. Ingenious. And what
does it shoot? Poison darts?

147
00:09:25,981 --> 00:09:29,693
It doesn't shoot anything.
It's a phone.

148
00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:32,196
There's a Twitter handle,
Instagram feed

149
00:09:32,279 --> 00:09:34,282
and secure login for the
department Uber account.

150
00:09:34,365 --> 00:09:35,404
What's he on about, Bough?

151
00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:37,576
I need a weapon.
Not a box of gobbledygook.

152
00:09:37,784 --> 00:09:40,120
I think, uh, what Agent English

153
00:09:40,203 --> 00:09:42,498
is getting at, sir, is all
this is highly trackable.

154
00:09:42,789 --> 00:09:46,168
But since we're dealing with a very
sophisticated, digital target,

155
00:09:46,251 --> 00:09:50,840
we might be less visible if we took
a more analog, low-tech approach.

156
00:09:52,508 --> 00:09:53,592
Exactly.

157
00:09:55,010 --> 00:09:56,345
I see.

158
00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:58,681
Is there anything else
I can get you?

159
00:09:59,097 --> 00:10:00,432
<i>A gun.</i>

160
00:10:01,975 --> 00:10:06,147
We don't really do guns anymore.

161
00:10:06,522 --> 00:10:08,106
Just get him a gun.

162
00:10:08,524 --> 00:10:09,817
P: Right, a gun.

163
00:10:10,902 --> 00:10:12,820
(DOOR OPENS)

164
00:10:16,448 --> 00:10:19,534
Right. Haven't actually done
one of these before.

165
00:10:20,702 --> 00:10:22,830
"It is my obligation
under section 14

166
00:10:22,913 --> 00:10:24,767
"of the Health and Safety
Directive to inform you

167
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:27,460
"that the equipment with which
you are about to be issued"

168
00:10:27,543 --> 00:10:29,461
"can cause injury
and bodily harm."

169
00:10:33,381 --> 00:10:36,009
"Furthermore, any agents
with nut allergies"

170
00:10:36,092 --> 00:10:37,278
"should be aware
that traces of cashew oil..."

171
00:10:37,302 --> 00:10:38,638
Thank you.

172
00:10:41,264 --> 00:10:42,682
Right, transport.

173
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,523
So, take any hybrid you want.

174
00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:50,357
(EXHALES)

175
00:11:04,413 --> 00:11:05,664
I'll take this one.

176
00:11:05,914 --> 00:11:08,960
Oh, don't be ridiculous,
English. This car is a relic.

177
00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:11,837
Drinks petrol, leaks oil
and has no passive,

178
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:13,589
let alone
active safety features.

179
00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:15,274
BOUGH: Do you know what else
it doesn't have, sir?

180
00:11:15,298 --> 00:11:18,052
Satellite navigation
or a single computer chip.

181
00:11:18,134 --> 00:11:21,389
Making it completely invisible
to a digital enemy.

182
00:11:21,471 --> 00:11:22,889
(ENGINE STARTING)

183
00:11:23,390 --> 00:11:25,475
The equipment
Agent English requested, sir.

184
00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:26,769
Thank you.

185
00:11:27,894 --> 00:11:29,688
Phone. Bough? Yeah.

186
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:36,070
That hi-tech villain of yours
will never see us coming.

187
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:46,788
(TIRES SCREECHING)

188
00:11:53,587 --> 00:11:55,423
BOUGH: Let's see
what they've given us.

189
00:11:56,131 --> 00:12:00,845
Exoskeleton, exploding cotton
buds, the old shoebox inflatable.

190
00:12:00,927 --> 00:12:02,138
Hmm.

191
00:12:03,096 --> 00:12:07,475
Ooh. What are these? Instant
Release Super High Energy Pills.

192
00:12:07,684 --> 00:12:11,813
Like sticking your fingers in an
electric socket. Highly recommended.

193
00:12:12,731 --> 00:12:15,860
Right, so, the red ones must be the
Total Knockout Sleeping Pills.

194
00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:17,068
Correct.

195
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:19,447
Hmm. Probably worth
labeling these.

196
00:12:19,529 --> 00:12:20,572
Oh. (CHUCKLES)

197
00:12:20,655 --> 00:12:23,075
Look, sir. Sweeties.

198
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:25,161
Ooh.

199
00:12:25,702 --> 00:12:27,455
Hang on a minute.

200
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,414
I always did love a jelly baby.

201
00:12:29,498 --> 00:12:32,585
I wouldn't if I was you, Bough.
"Jelly" is short for gelignite.

202
00:12:32,668 --> 00:12:34,437
One bite and it'll take
the top of your head off

203
00:12:34,461 --> 00:12:36,129
along with the roof of the car.

204
00:12:36,713 --> 00:12:38,466
So, what does this do?

205
00:12:39,716 --> 00:12:41,594
It's a mixtape, Bough.

206
00:12:43,929 --> 00:12:45,932
(POP SONG PLAYING)

207
00:12:46,014 --> 00:12:48,683
ENGLISH: So, destination?
BOUGH: South of France, sir.

208
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,769
That cyber attack
seems to have been launched

209
00:12:50,852 --> 00:12:53,313
from the Wi-Fi signal
of a hotel in Antibes.

210
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:41,361
Sir? Sir, I've just had
a fax through from HQ.

211
00:13:41,778 --> 00:13:44,907
Background checks on all the guests
that accessed the Wi-Fi network.

212
00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:47,118
You see? Who needs email?

213
00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:48,661
(SPEAKING FRENCH)

214
00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:51,788
<i>(THAN KS IN GERMAN)</i>

215
00:13:52,873 --> 00:13:54,125
Um...

216
00:13:54,207 --> 00:13:56,543
One name has raised
a red flag, sir.

217
00:13:57,336 --> 00:14:00,255
Sebastian Lynch, ex-Army
and Military Intelligence.

218
00:14:00,505 --> 00:14:03,341
Now selling his services
to the highest bidder.

219
00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:06,302
Where do we find him?
Directly ahead. Sir.

220
00:14:06,511 --> 00:14:07,888
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

221
00:14:07,971 --> 00:14:11,182
He's got an 8:00 reservation
at the Cote de Roc restaurant.

222
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:15,730
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

223
00:14:21,777 --> 00:14:25,057
BOUGH: The problem's going to be getting
close enough for a full surveillance, sir.

224
00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:27,158
Not necessarily.

225
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:30,870
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

226
00:14:30,952 --> 00:14:32,455
(DISHES CLATTERING)

227
00:14:42,505 --> 00:14:43,883
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)

228
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:47,052
SEBASTIAN: Oh, darling, I've just
gotta get this. Two seconds.

229
00:14:47,635 --> 00:14:51,974
Simple plan, two parts. You provide
the distraction, I'll get the phone.

230
00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:54,393
Yes. Sir. And from now on,

231
00:14:54,769 --> 00:14:59,731
(IN FRENCH ACCENT) perhaps we
should sound like French waiters.

232
00:15:01,399 --> 00:15:03,277
(IN FRENCH ACCENT)
French waiters?

233
00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:05,403
Yees.

234
00:15:06,947 --> 00:15:08,115
Go on.

235
00:15:10,283 --> 00:15:11,951
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

236
00:15:13,870 --> 00:15:15,914
Are you finished now, Sebasfian?

237
00:15:17,207 --> 00:15:18,708
Bread roll?

238
00:15:18,958 --> 00:15:20,043
Yes, thank you.

239
00:15:20,418 --> 00:15:22,379
BOUGH: Excellent choice, <i>madame.</i>

240
00:15:23,838 --> 00:15:25,256
Good evening.

241
00:15:25,841 --> 00:15:27,426
How are you?

242
00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:30,721
Bread roll, sir?

243
00:15:30,846 --> 00:15:32,264
Yes. Thank you.

244
00:15:32,347 --> 00:15:33,599
(HUMMING)

245
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:36,268
(SCOFFS)

246
00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:38,562
One second.

247
00:15:38,854 --> 00:15:40,773
Excuse me, would you mind?

248
00:15:41,606 --> 00:15:43,817
Oh, yes. Evening.

249
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:45,485
Evening.

250
00:15:51,491 --> 00:15:52,784
(GASPS)

251
00:15:54,953 --> 00:15:56,288
(CHUCKLES)

252
00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:01,168
Thank you.

253
00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:13,429
(CHUCKLES)

254
00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:15,349
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

255
00:16:15,432 --> 00:16:16,600
SEBASTIAN: Where's my phone?

256
00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:19,644
WOMAN: That is your phone.

257
00:16:21,730 --> 00:16:23,566
Ooh. (EXHALES)

258
00:16:25,442 --> 00:16:27,318
(CELL PHONE CONTINUES RINGING)

259
00:16:28,236 --> 00:16:29,238
Thank you.

260
00:16:30,530 --> 00:16:31,573
<i>Monsieur.</i>

261
00:16:32,740 --> 00:16:36,036
The, uh, shell on my wife's lobster,
could you remove it, please?

262
00:16:38,246 --> 00:16:39,414
Yees.

263
00:16:40,206 --> 00:16:42,125
Uh...

264
00:16:42,375 --> 00:16:43,543
Hmm.

265
00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:49,841
Let me crack it for you.

266
00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:53,136
(STRAINING)

267
00:17:03,688 --> 00:17:05,023
Oh!

268
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:06,983
Ow!

269
00:17:07,108 --> 00:17:09,694
(SPEAKING FRENCH)

270
00:17:26,336 --> 00:17:28,005
(ALL GASPING)

271
00:17:29,714 --> 00:17:31,884
(HUMMING)

272
00:17:34,886 --> 00:17:36,805
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

273
00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:39,599
Hello?

274
00:17:40,433 --> 00:17:41,977
(WOMAN SCREAMS)

275
00:17:42,685 --> 00:17:45,046
SEBASTIAN: Steve, I'll have to
call you back. Call you back.

276
00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:48,483
Give me a sec. Hang on.

277
00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:49,817
(GUESTS GASPING)

278
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,444
WOMAN: What is going on?

279
00:17:54,949 --> 00:17:56,991
Sebastian, don't get involved.

280
00:17:57,660 --> 00:17:58,743
(SPEAKING FRENCH)

281
00:18:00,328 --> 00:18:01,663
Ah.

282
00:18:05,875 --> 00:18:08,336
WOMAN: What is he doing? SEBASTIAN:
I don't know. He's a fool.

283
00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:11,006
There we are.

284
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:14,468
<i>Voila.</i>

285
00:18:21,849 --> 00:18:24,103
Hmm. Bon appétit.

286
00:18:27,230 --> 00:18:30,358
I will talk to the manager.
I will talk to the manager.

287
00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,619
ENGLISH: Textbook, Bough.

288
00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:47,917
BOUGH: Just holiday snaps, sir.

289
00:18:49,127 --> 00:18:51,046
Wait a minute, this photo.

290
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:55,134
It was taken the same day our villain
accessed the Wi-Fi, and look.

291
00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:57,760
Scarcely 50 feet from shore.

292
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:00,931
Whoever was on that yacht

293
00:19:01,015 --> 00:19:03,767
could easily have used
the hotel's Wi-Fi,

294
00:19:03,851 --> 00:19:07,020
sent that signal
and then just sailed away.

295
00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:12,233
ENGLISH: I think it's time
we paid the Dot <i>Calm</i> a visit.

296
00:19:12,317 --> 00:19:14,278
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

297
00:19:24,954 --> 00:19:25,955
<i>Algorithms.</i>

298
00:19:26,039 --> 00:19:28,250
<i>We are surrounded by them.</i>

299
00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:30,501
<i>Algorithms run our lives,</i>

300
00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:35,048
<i>choose our TV shows, stream our music.
Even find us a date.</i>

301
00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:37,009
(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)

302
00:19:37,092 --> 00:19:38,844
I know this chap, don't I?

303
00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:42,221
Yes, he's that Silicon Valley
billionaire who dated a Kardashian.

304
00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:45,017
Two Kardashians and a Black-Eyed Pea.
Keep watching.

305
00:19:45,183 --> 00:19:48,436
<i>But supposing there was an
algorithm for an entire country.</i>

306
00:19:48,519 --> 00:19:52,106
<i>A single algorithm that could be
applied to every one of its problems.</i>

307
00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:56,528
<i>A single algorithm that could take
a second-rate nation and make it</i>

308
00:19:57,070 --> 00:19:58,947
<i>world class.</i>

309
00:19:59,030 --> 00:20:00,258
(AUDIENCE CHATTERING EXCITEDLY)

310
00:20:00,281 --> 00:20:02,701
<i>Every nation is awash with data.</i>

311
00:20:03,410 --> 00:20:08,039
So now, more than ever, we need to put
that data to work for the people.

312
00:20:08,539 --> 00:20:11,417
These few lines of code will
deliver the kind of change

313
00:20:11,542 --> 00:20:14,296
they have been dreaming of
their entire lives.

314
00:20:14,421 --> 00:20:17,465
<i>ON PHONE:
I am Xander. I love data.</i>

315
00:20:17,590 --> 00:20:19,550
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

316
00:20:20,676 --> 00:20:22,429
He's so clever.

317
00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:25,473
He's young, he's sexy,
he's insanely successful.

318
00:20:25,598 --> 00:20:28,559
Just the qualities we need
people to associate with me.

319
00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:29,811
(SIGHS)

320
00:20:29,894 --> 00:20:30,938
Yes, Prime Minister.

321
00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,565
And they will do when he
starts working with us.

322
00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:36,276
But why would 3 Silicon Valley
billionaire work with us?

323
00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:39,113
Just get him into Number 10
and let me work on him.

324
00:20:39,195 --> 00:20:40,614
Yes. Ma'am. Go on.

325
00:20:43,534 --> 00:20:44,785
Oh, God, now what?

326
00:20:45,326 --> 00:20:46,887
There's been another attack,
Prime Minister.

327
00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:48,247
Air Traffic Control. Oh!

328
00:20:48,913 --> 00:20:51,791
Someone's rerouted every
flight in Europe to Luton.

329
00:20:51,916 --> 00:20:54,104
For God's sake, tell me the
agent you've got in the field

330
00:20:54,127 --> 00:20:55,837
is making some progress?

331
00:20:56,003 --> 00:20:57,673
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

332
00:20:58,589 --> 00:21:00,675
(SIREN WAILING)

333
00:21:05,305 --> 00:21:08,307
BOUGH: So, how are we gonna
findthelocafion of that yacht, sir?

334
00:21:08,433 --> 00:21:11,769
ENGLISH: Very easily, Bough.
We ring MI7.

335
00:21:16,023 --> 00:21:19,361
HeHo, heHo? Yes, I need the
location of a boat called...

336
00:21:19,444 --> 00:21:20,612
(LINE DISCONNECTS)

337
00:21:23,656 --> 00:21:26,826
Hello? Hello, yes.
A boat called the Dot Calm.

338
00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:29,704
Yes, it's a play on words. Yeah.

339
00:21:30,038 --> 00:21:31,038
Where? (LINE DISCONNECTS)

340
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:39,714
Looks about
half a mile out, sir.

341
00:21:40,757 --> 00:21:43,009
Do we wanna try
and swim it or...

342
00:21:43,134 --> 00:21:46,555
No, Bough. This is a job for
the shoebox inflatable.

343
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,307
No, don't open it
in the car, sir!

344
00:21:48,473 --> 00:21:50,057
(SQUEAKING)

345
00:21:54,813 --> 00:21:57,816
Can you reach your door handle?

346
00:22:00,234 --> 00:22:01,819
(MUFFLED) No, sir.

347
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:04,655
I'll try my side.

348
00:22:22,048 --> 00:22:26,053
Right, Bough, our aim is to get
on board without anyone noticing.

349
00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:28,262
And how are we gonna do it?

350
00:22:28,471 --> 00:22:30,848
Magnetic boots. Brilliant, sir.

351
00:22:31,724 --> 00:22:33,143
Simple mechanism.

352
00:22:33,268 --> 00:22:36,395
Left switch activates left boot.
Right switch activates right.

353
00:22:37,105 --> 00:22:38,941
Okay, let's go.

354
00:22:53,829 --> 00:22:59,336
Remember, the absolutely vital
element of this mission is surprise.

355
00:23:06,384 --> 00:23:07,635
(METAL CLANGS)

356
00:23:13,892 --> 00:23:15,352
(CLATTERING)

357
00:23:18,730 --> 00:23:20,273
(GRUNTING)

358
00:23:21,023 --> 00:23:22,876
Now, you have to get up
pretty early in the morning

359
00:23:22,901 --> 00:23:25,028
to outwit British Intelligence.

360
00:23:27,196 --> 00:23:28,490
(GRUNTING)

361
00:23:28,990 --> 00:23:30,200
(BOTH EXHALE)

362
00:23:31,201 --> 00:23:32,286
Quick!

363
00:23:35,454 --> 00:23:37,124
(ALARM BLARING)

364
00:23:39,459 --> 00:23:41,295
WOMAN: Good evening, gentlemen.

365
00:23:42,587 --> 00:23:44,589
Shall we start with your names?

366
00:23:45,715 --> 00:23:48,676
Clearly you have no idea
who you're dealing with.

367
00:23:49,677 --> 00:23:52,013
That's why I'm starting
with your names.

368
00:23:52,556 --> 00:23:54,432
Actually, would you mind
coming down here?

369
00:23:54,557 --> 00:23:57,227
It's really hard to have
a conversation like this.

370
00:23:58,604 --> 00:24:00,271
I have a better idea.

371
00:24:00,564 --> 00:24:02,898
(GRUNTING)

372
00:24:07,945 --> 00:24:09,655
It's no good,
it won't move, sir.

373
00:24:10,449 --> 00:24:12,366
We'll see about that.

374
00:24:12,491 --> 00:24:14,827
Low-intensity
exploding cotton bud.

375
00:24:17,455 --> 00:24:18,539
(BEEPING)

376
00:24:18,664 --> 00:24:21,209
That's quite a powerful charge
for such a small space, sir.

377
00:24:21,292 --> 00:24:22,711
Oh, nonsense.

378
00:24:23,795 --> 00:24:24,880
(WHINING)

379
00:24:24,962 --> 00:24:27,132
There will just be a slight pop.

380
00:24:31,803 --> 00:24:33,846
(BOTH COUGHING)

381
00:24:35,140 --> 00:24:38,099
(WHISPERS) Shall we locate the hold and
look for the source of that signal?

382
00:24:38,143 --> 00:24:42,146
(SHOUTS) I think we should locate the hold
and look for the source of that signal!

383
00:24:42,230 --> 00:24:43,606
(SHUSHING) (INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

384
00:24:43,690 --> 00:24:45,317
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

385
00:24:45,483 --> 00:24:46,652
(SHOUTS) Come on! (SHUSHES)

386
00:24:58,538 --> 00:25:01,040
(SHOUTS) I'd say we have
our villain, Bough!

387
00:25:01,165 --> 00:25:03,335
(SHUSHES) You need to keep
your voice down, sir.

388
00:25:04,211 --> 00:25:06,212
And we're not going to lose him.

389
00:25:19,726 --> 00:25:21,978
Hand me the sherbet fountain.

390
00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:27,483
Three sucks and the location
transmitter is activated.

391
00:25:27,567 --> 00:25:31,363
This gin palace will show up
as a hostile from 30,000 feet.

392
00:25:31,904 --> 00:25:32,948
Hmm.

393
00:25:34,365 --> 00:25:37,160
(SUCKING) (BEEPING)

394
00:25:39,829 --> 00:25:42,665
This is now an enemy target.

395
00:25:43,541 --> 00:25:45,335
(DOOR CLOSES)
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

396
00:25:48,087 --> 00:25:49,756
Aniseed balls.

397
00:25:52,843 --> 00:25:54,510
(GROANING)

398
00:25:59,932 --> 00:26:00,933
(GRUNTS)

399
00:26:01,143 --> 00:26:02,685
(GUN COCKS) (SPLASHES)

400
00:26:04,855 --> 00:26:08,107
If you'd wanted to kill me, you
would have already done so.

401
00:26:11,528 --> 00:26:13,363
Till we meet again.

402
00:26:17,032 --> 00:26:18,117
(THUDS)

403
00:26:18,201 --> 00:26:19,493
(ENGLISH GROANS)

404
00:26:21,496 --> 00:26:22,663
Ow!

405
00:26:23,582 --> 00:26:24,875
(GROANING)

406
00:26:27,251 --> 00:26:29,546
Well, that was sooner
than I expected.

407
00:26:31,964 --> 00:26:33,299
(GROANS)

408
00:26:33,383 --> 00:26:36,470
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

409
00:26:37,511 --> 00:26:38,637
(SPLASHES)

410
00:26:40,015 --> 00:26:41,892
BOUGH: <i>Who do you
think she is, sir?</i>

411
00:26:41,974 --> 00:26:44,644
ENGLISH: Well, if she's not
the owner of that yacht,

412
00:26:44,728 --> 00:26:46,188
then she knows who is.

413
00:26:47,314 --> 00:26:49,816
Either way, she's the key
to this case.

414
00:26:52,152 --> 00:26:55,197
Is it true you were teaching,
sir? Before all this blew up?

415
00:26:56,490 --> 00:26:58,741
If by "teaching" you mean

416
00:26:58,866 --> 00:27:03,829
scouting for potential intelligence
operatives then yes, I was.

417
00:27:03,913 --> 00:27:04,998
Hmm.

418
00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:09,752
I actually got married, sir.
I don't know if you heard.

419
00:27:11,337 --> 00:27:12,338
No.

420
00:27:13,006 --> 00:27:14,340
Hmm.

421
00:27:14,548 --> 00:27:16,134
Yeah, Lydia.

422
00:27:16,218 --> 00:27:17,259
Lovely girl.

423
00:27:21,013 --> 00:27:23,682
You never think about getting
hitched yourself, sir?

424
00:27:23,767 --> 00:27:24,851
(SCOFFS)

425
00:27:24,934 --> 00:27:29,439
This is no life for a married man, Bough.
The danger, the constant travel.

426
00:27:29,522 --> 00:27:30,606
WAITRESS: Here you go, sir.

427
00:27:30,690 --> 00:27:32,692
More Lydia's life
than mine, sir.

428
00:27:34,152 --> 00:27:35,444
She's in the Navy, you see.

429
00:27:36,403 --> 00:27:37,572
What, as a cook?

430
00:27:38,405 --> 00:27:41,617
Or some kind of seagoing
secretary or...

431
00:27:41,701 --> 00:27:44,578
Oh, no, sir. She's the captain
of a nuclear submarine.

432
00:27:45,913 --> 00:27:47,249
Oh, right.

433
00:27:49,667 --> 00:27:52,420
Do you think we should get some
petrol for the Aston, sir?

434
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:58,134
No. An Aston Martin is
surprisingly economical, Bough.

435
00:28:00,178 --> 00:28:03,181
Besides, it looks like
we're in business.

436
00:28:17,237 --> 00:28:18,404
Come on.

437
00:28:25,619 --> 00:28:27,580
BOUGH: Looks like
an electric car, sir.

438
00:28:27,663 --> 00:28:30,125
Yes, and sounds like
a nose hair trimmer.

439
00:28:30,333 --> 00:28:31,585
(ENGINE STARTING)

440
00:28:32,251 --> 00:28:33,836
ENGLISH: A bunch
of triple-A batteries

441
00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:36,548
is no match for old-fashioned
British horsepower.

442
00:28:41,677 --> 00:28:43,038
<i>NOfllmCP 720252
MflMPEZO flcmmzyzd.</i>

443
00:28:58,068 --> 00:29:01,448
Look at her cornering. Seems so
effortless, doesn't it, sir?

444
00:29:08,788 --> 00:29:10,582
(TIRES SCREECHING)

445
00:29:15,045 --> 00:29:16,253
(GPS BEEPING)

446
00:29:22,009 --> 00:29:23,260
(TIRES SCREECHING)

447
00:29:24,179 --> 00:29:25,305
(GRUNTS)

448
00:29:30,101 --> 00:29:31,227
(SIGHS)

449
00:29:37,275 --> 00:29:38,692
(HORN HONKING)

450
00:29:40,819 --> 00:29:42,404
Arm the missile.

451
00:29:42,489 --> 00:29:43,615
The what?

452
00:29:43,698 --> 00:29:45,951
The missile, Bough, the one
with the tear gas warhead.

453
00:29:46,034 --> 00:29:48,577
But they're just cyclists, sir.
We'll get past in a minute.

454
00:29:48,662 --> 00:29:49,902
They're French cyclists, Bough,

455
00:29:49,954 --> 00:29:52,665
and they're obstructing
Her Majesty's Secret Service.

456
00:30:00,507 --> 00:30:01,840
BOUGH: Wiper stalk
is armed, sir.

457
00:30:08,765 --> 00:30:11,058
(CYCLISTS COUGHING)

458
00:30:11,142 --> 00:30:12,143
BOUGH: <i>Sorry.</i>

459
00:30:12,602 --> 00:30:14,895
<i>Terribly sorry. We do apologize.</i>

460
00:30:15,020 --> 00:30:17,190
ENGLISH: <i>Stop it, Bough,
you'll only encourage them.</i>

461
00:30:18,900 --> 00:30:20,067
(CHUCKLES)

462
00:30:32,705 --> 00:30:35,375
What are we gonna do now, sir?
Patience. Bough.

463
00:30:35,916 --> 00:30:38,836
Driving like that, her battery
will be dead any moment.

464
00:30:38,961 --> 00:30:42,214
And she'll roll
to a humiliating stop.

465
00:30:42,507 --> 00:30:44,134
(ENGINE SPUTTERING)

466
00:30:54,309 --> 00:30:56,354
(SPUTTERING CONTINUES)

467
00:31:01,483 --> 00:31:05,070
Bough, it is your job to
keep an eye onthefuelgauge.

468
00:31:12,746 --> 00:31:14,913
Very impressive driving, Mr...

469
00:31:16,624 --> 00:31:17,709
Golightly.

470
00:31:18,751 --> 00:31:20,878
Basil Golightly.

471
00:31:23,256 --> 00:31:25,884
And you're rather useful
yourself, Miss...

472
00:31:26,550 --> 00:31:29,596
Bhuletova. Ophelia Bhuletova.

473
00:31:29,762 --> 00:31:31,013
Hmm.

474
00:31:31,096 --> 00:31:32,848
And this is...

475
00:31:33,223 --> 00:31:34,224
Colin.

476
00:31:35,852 --> 00:31:38,020
I thought we were
using fake names.

477
00:31:38,938 --> 00:31:40,690
That is a fake name.

478
00:31:43,526 --> 00:31:44,861
Oh, right.

479
00:31:46,863 --> 00:31:48,740
Yes, this is Colin,

480
00:31:49,990 --> 00:31:51,116
and I'm...

481
00:31:55,288 --> 00:31:56,413
"Dasil."

482
00:31:56,873 --> 00:31:57,874
<i>D as“ .</i>

483
00:31:58,290 --> 00:31:59,291
Basil.

484
00:32:00,542 --> 00:32:02,753
Well, Basil,

485
00:32:03,378 --> 00:32:05,058
maybe there is a simpler way
of doing this.

486
00:32:05,757 --> 00:32:07,174
Over a drink perhaps?

487
00:32:07,258 --> 00:32:09,635
Well, that would be lovely.

488
00:32:09,719 --> 00:32:14,390
Shall we say the bar at the Hotel
de Paris in Cagnes-sur-Mer? 8:00?

489
00:32:14,473 --> 00:32:16,558
Mmm. It's a date.

490
00:32:19,895 --> 00:32:21,189
(ENGLISH CHUCKLES)

491
00:32:21,940 --> 00:32:22,941
Well,

492
00:32:23,525 --> 00:32:27,694
I think my "running out of
fuel" ruse worked pretty well.

493
00:32:28,113 --> 00:32:29,321
Mmm.

494
00:32:33,076 --> 00:32:34,160
PRIME MINISTER: What?

495
00:32:34,326 --> 00:32:36,763
Er, junior doctors. They've
confirmed they are going on strike

496
00:32:36,788 --> 00:32:38,627
and the tube drivers
are coming out in support.

497
00:32:38,664 --> 00:32:41,559
Oh, God. Leader of the Opposition, has
he come round from his heart surgery?

498
00:32:41,584 --> 00:32:42,626
Yes, Prime Minister.

499
00:32:42,710 --> 00:32:45,838
Oh, Jesus Christ, when will something
go right for me? What do you want?

500
00:32:46,631 --> 00:32:48,674
They've hit us again,
Prime Minister.

501
00:32:49,217 --> 00:32:51,719
Huh? Hacked into the Central
Traffic Control System.

502
00:32:52,010 --> 00:32:55,431
Yes, they've turned every
traffic light in London to red.

503
00:32:55,557 --> 00:32:57,099
(CARS HONKING ON SCREEN) (SIGHS)

504
00:32:58,058 --> 00:32:59,685
Where's my bloody drink?

505
00:33:00,435 --> 00:33:02,814
You've got to be joking?
Vodka tonic, no ice, no tonic.

506
00:33:02,896 --> 00:33:05,441
Yes. Ma'am. Oh. And Mr. Volta
has arrived. Ma'am.

507
00:33:05,525 --> 00:33:07,818
(CLEARS THROAT)

508
00:33:09,945 --> 00:33:12,574
Mr. Volta,
welcome to Downing Street.

509
00:33:12,699 --> 00:33:15,785
I have read so much
about this wonderful building.

510
00:33:15,910 --> 00:33:19,413
Is this the stone triple staircase
designed by William Kent?

511
00:33:19,538 --> 00:33:22,709
Um, yes, it probably is.
I can't swear to it.

512
00:33:22,834 --> 00:33:25,377
Can we do a quick...
XANDER: <i>Needs Photoshop.</i>

513
00:33:25,461 --> 00:33:27,963
Oh! (STAMMERS) This way. Hmm.

514
00:33:28,088 --> 00:33:29,883
I am horribly late,
I do apologize.

515
00:33:30,008 --> 00:33:32,801
It's the traffic, it's the one
thing I don't love about London.

516
00:33:32,926 --> 00:33:35,346
Yes, well, I must admit
we are having a slight problem

517
00:33:35,430 --> 00:33:37,347
with the lights at the moment.
Nothing major.

518
00:33:37,472 --> 00:33:40,476
If you wanted, I could take a
look? It is kind of what I do.

519
00:33:40,559 --> 00:33:43,188
I think it's actually a little
bit more complex than...

520
00:33:43,313 --> 00:33:46,691
Xander, get a web address for
London's traffic control center.

521
00:33:47,357 --> 00:33:51,069
XANDER: <i>Here is the login page, Jason.
Do you have a password?</i>

522
00:33:53,530 --> 00:33:54,699
Um...

523
00:33:55,407 --> 00:33:56,784
(STAMMERS)

524
00:33:57,826 --> 00:34:00,663
I won't tell if you won't.
Right you are.

525
00:34:00,747 --> 00:34:01,873
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)

526
00:34:01,955 --> 00:34:05,585
XANDER: <i>Bypassing security.
Security bypassed.</i> (BEEPING)

527
00:34:05,667 --> 00:34:06,669
Oh, that's terrific.

528
00:34:08,045 --> 00:34:11,215
Someone is hacking you.
Oh, I don't think so.

529
00:34:11,548 --> 00:34:15,385
Denied service attack.
Yeah, primitive but effective.

530
00:34:16,512 --> 00:34:19,891
You know what we could try,
rerouting all service requests

531
00:34:19,974 --> 00:34:22,101
to our server farm in Nevada.

532
00:34:23,101 --> 00:34:24,394
Um...

533
00:34:25,646 --> 00:34:27,398
<i>XANDER: Rerouting, Jason.</i>

534
00:34:27,481 --> 00:34:29,233
<i>Rerouting complete.</i>

535
00:34:31,610 --> 00:34:33,153
(TRAFFIC MOVING)

536
00:34:33,528 --> 00:34:35,280
(GASPS) Crikey.

537
00:34:36,907 --> 00:34:39,911
So, what was it you wanted
to talk to me about?

538
00:34:40,244 --> 00:34:42,371
You, Jason.

539
00:34:43,539 --> 00:34:44,873
(MOUTHS) Get out.

540
00:34:44,998 --> 00:34:46,541
I want to talk about you.

541
00:34:53,298 --> 00:34:55,092
(BOUGH GRUNTING)

542
00:35:01,014 --> 00:35:03,893
ENGLISH: Excellent, Bough.
Nearly there.

543
00:35:04,768 --> 00:35:06,228
Nearly there.

544
00:35:06,353 --> 00:35:09,356
This is actually
a really nice hotel, Bough.

545
00:35:10,108 --> 00:35:12,985
I'm turning to the right.

546
00:35:13,110 --> 00:35:15,280
(SOFT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

547
00:35:25,998 --> 00:35:29,960
Shall one of us keep Miss Bhuletova busy
while the other searches her room, sir?

548
00:35:30,168 --> 00:35:34,172
Good idea, Bough.
Alert me if you find anything.

549
00:35:36,300 --> 00:35:38,302
(CONTINUES PLAYING
SOFT JAZZ MUSIC)

550
00:35:46,268 --> 00:35:48,021
(PLAYING LIVELY TUNE)

551
00:35:51,231 --> 00:35:52,608
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

552
00:35:52,692 --> 00:35:55,235
(SOFT JAZZ MUSIC RESUMES)

553
00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:57,487
Mr. Golightly.

554
00:36:00,490 --> 00:36:01,492
Oh...

555
00:36:02,159 --> 00:36:03,202
Indeed.

556
00:36:04,202 --> 00:36:07,289
I thought perhaps you weren't coming.
On the contrary.

557
00:36:07,456 --> 00:36:10,083
Wild horses couldn't
keep me away.

558
00:36:10,835 --> 00:36:11,960
<i>Madame? Monsieur?</i>

559
00:36:12,503 --> 00:36:14,422
Evening. What would you like?

560
00:36:15,130 --> 00:36:18,760
I'm feeling a little homesick tonight.
I'll have 3 Moscow Mule.

561
00:36:22,304 --> 00:36:24,639
And I'll have a London...

562
00:36:24,974 --> 00:36:26,976
Lemming, please.

563
00:36:28,518 --> 00:36:30,355
I'm not sure, what...

564
00:36:31,646 --> 00:36:34,983
It's, uh, gin, vodka,

565
00:36:36,443 --> 00:36:37,778
armagnac,

566
00:36:38,528 --> 00:36:39,822
sherry,

567
00:36:40,489 --> 00:36:42,992
with just a little bit
of Parmesan.

568
00:36:44,994 --> 00:36:46,079
(CHUCKLES)

569
00:36:49,164 --> 00:36:52,876
So, what brings you to the
South of France, Miss...

570
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:54,378
Bhilli... Bholly...

571
00:36:54,461 --> 00:36:55,670
Bhuletova.

572
00:36:56,172 --> 00:36:57,547
Bhuletova.

573
00:36:57,882 --> 00:36:59,675
I'm just visiting
a friend of mine.

574
00:36:59,759 --> 00:37:00,885
Hmm.

575
00:37:03,929 --> 00:37:07,182
And would this friend
be the owner of the Dot <i>Calm?</i>

576
00:37:08,351 --> 00:37:09,434
Hmm.

577
00:37:09,518 --> 00:37:10,728
Yes, he would.

578
00:37:11,896 --> 00:37:13,563
(WAITRESS SCREAMS)
(DISHES CLATTERING)

579
00:37:16,525 --> 00:37:18,360
And what about you,

580
00:37:18,443 --> 00:37:19,445
Basil?

581
00:37:19,612 --> 00:37:21,947
Oh, I'm just here on business.

582
00:37:22,197 --> 00:37:25,201
Although, it's rapidly
turning into pleasure.

583
00:37:29,288 --> 00:37:31,039
Ooh! I love these.

584
00:37:36,253 --> 00:37:37,463
They're really hot.

585
00:37:41,134 --> 00:37:42,677
(GROANING)

586
00:37:46,514 --> 00:37:48,181
Are you all right?

587
00:37:48,599 --> 00:37:49,934
Yes, fine.

588
00:37:50,184 --> 00:37:52,144
(HUFFING)

589
00:37:57,608 --> 00:37:58,900
(MUMBLES)

590
00:37:58,985 --> 00:38:00,027
Hmm.

591
00:38:02,362 --> 00:38:05,115
<i>(BOTH THANKING IN FRENCH)</i>

592
00:38:06,492 --> 00:38:07,577
Cheers.

593
00:38:08,034 --> 00:38:11,204
I'm not sure I've ever met a
man quite like you, Basil.

594
00:38:12,206 --> 00:38:14,541
Let me clear up
the uncertainty for you.

595
00:38:15,168 --> 00:38:16,543
You haven't.

596
00:38:17,586 --> 00:38:19,088
(SLURPING)

597
00:38:25,887 --> 00:38:27,221
(CLEARS THROAT)

598
00:38:27,889 --> 00:38:28,972
(CHUCKLES)

599
00:38:30,766 --> 00:38:35,188
I'm sorry, Basil. I have to get
up really early tomorrow morning.

600
00:38:35,563 --> 00:38:37,106
Oh, that's a shame.

601
00:38:37,856 --> 00:38:39,483
(SPEAKS FRENCH)

602
00:38:47,657 --> 00:38:49,327
How did you get on, sir?

603
00:38:49,452 --> 00:38:52,121
Oh, gosh, what a wonderful
woman, Bough. Wonderful.

604
00:38:52,246 --> 00:38:53,246
Right.

605
00:38:53,371 --> 00:38:55,248
Charming. Intelligent.

606
00:38:55,333 --> 00:38:59,045
Lovely sense of humor. And
obviously entirely innocent.

607
00:38:59,170 --> 00:39:02,297
Although, I broke into her room and
she does have three passports, sir.

608
00:39:02,380 --> 00:39:05,217
Romanian, Bulgarian, Russian.
Different name in each.

609
00:39:05,842 --> 00:39:08,221
So she's been married
to three different people.

610
00:39:08,346 --> 00:39:10,347
Not unusual in this day
and age, Bough.

611
00:39:10,472 --> 00:39:13,351
And I also found some garroting
wire and two boxes of ammunition.

612
00:39:13,434 --> 00:39:18,271
Well, single woman, traveling
alone, you can't be too careful.

613
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:22,400
You don't think
she might be a spy, sir?

614
00:39:22,860 --> 00:39:24,778
A spy? (LAUGHS)

615
00:39:25,530 --> 00:39:28,282
I think I know
what a spy looks like, Bough.

616
00:39:28,365 --> 00:39:30,034
<i>NOfllmCP 720252
MflMPEZO flcmmzyzd</i>

617
00:39:52,931 --> 00:39:54,266
(SIGHS)

618
00:40:01,606 --> 00:40:02,650
(CLICKS TONGUE)

619
00:40:14,411 --> 00:40:15,746
Oh.

620
00:40:16,581 --> 00:40:17,831
(SIGHS)

621
00:40:34,806 --> 00:40:35,974
(GRUNTS)

622
00:40:38,893 --> 00:40:40,103
(DOOR BEEPS)

623
00:40:56,954 --> 00:40:58,039
(GRUNTS)

624
00:41:00,333 --> 00:41:02,293
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

625
00:41:23,521 --> 00:41:25,983
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING
IN DISTANCE)

626
00:42:20,496 --> 00:42:21,579
(GRUNTS)

627
00:42:24,583 --> 00:42:25,835
(DANCE MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)

628
00:42:29,088 --> 00:42:30,380
Oh!

629
00:42:49,358 --> 00:42:50,525
(CHUCKLES)

630
00:42:59,117 --> 00:43:00,244
Ah.

631
00:43:03,789 --> 00:43:04,914
(BOTH GRUNT)

632
00:43:10,420 --> 00:43:12,047
(CHEERING)

633
00:43:18,471 --> 00:43:19,972
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

634
00:43:25,728 --> 00:43:26,728
BOUGH: Sir?

635
00:43:27,021 --> 00:43:28,021
Sir! (MUSIC STOPS)

636
00:43:29,356 --> 00:43:31,358
I just got off the phone
to P in London.

637
00:43:31,442 --> 00:43:33,003
He's found out who the
owner of that yaoht is.

638
00:43:33,027 --> 00:43:34,027
Jason Volta.

639
00:43:34,110 --> 00:43:36,322
The world's most powerful
Internet billionaire, sir!

640
00:43:36,405 --> 00:43:37,782
And he's in London, right now.

641
00:43:37,864 --> 00:43:41,284
The Prime Minister is personally
negotiating a trade deal with him.

642
00:43:42,286 --> 00:43:43,871
Well, what are we waiting for?

643
00:43:46,706 --> 00:43:48,751
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

644
00:43:51,170 --> 00:43:52,838
(TIRES SCREECHING)

645
00:44:10,563 --> 00:44:11,690
(YELPS)

646
00:44:15,110 --> 00:44:17,947
Do you think we might
slow down a little, sir?

647
00:44:18,739 --> 00:44:19,824
What?

648
00:44:21,992 --> 00:44:23,409
Never mind!

649
00:44:29,208 --> 00:44:31,460
NEWSCASTER: <i>With what appears
to be another cyber attack,</i>

650
00:44:31,543 --> 00:44:32,938
<i>pressure is mounting
on the Prime Minister.</i>

651
00:44:32,961 --> 00:44:34,922
Every train in England?
Yes. Sir.

652
00:44:35,005 --> 00:44:38,092
They're all trying to terminate
at Bristol Temple Meads.

653
00:44:38,467 --> 00:44:40,344
(VOCALIZING)

654
00:44:41,302 --> 00:44:42,346
Morning, sir!

655
00:44:42,429 --> 00:44:44,514
You see this. English? Yes!

656
00:44:45,431 --> 00:44:46,432
Please.

657
00:44:47,226 --> 00:44:48,561
(PEGASUS CLEARS THROAT) Ooh!

658
00:44:49,143 --> 00:44:51,605
Tell me you've got something I
can take to the Prime Minister.

659
00:44:51,688 --> 00:44:54,692
Would the name of the man
responsible do, sir?

660
00:44:55,025 --> 00:44:56,610
Excellent, English, yes.

661
00:44:57,235 --> 00:44:59,530
(SLURRING) It's Jason...

662
00:45:02,407 --> 00:45:03,951
(SNORING)

663
00:45:09,706 --> 00:45:12,166
Volta, sir. Jason Volta.

664
00:45:12,585 --> 00:45:13,585
What?

665
00:45:13,751 --> 00:45:16,338
You're accusing the PM's
knight in shining armor?

666
00:45:16,422 --> 00:45:18,257
I'd need hard evidence.

667
00:45:18,340 --> 00:45:20,467
(MUMBLING)

668
00:45:25,389 --> 00:45:26,724
(SLOWLY) Which...

669
00:45:27,474 --> 00:45:29,976
is why Agent English
is proposing

670
00:45:30,059 --> 00:45:32,605
a penetration of Volta's
country estate in Surrey.

671
00:45:32,813 --> 00:45:37,067
(GROGGILY) Yes, yes, yes, yes...

672
00:45:37,150 --> 00:45:39,485
Well, do what you have
to do, English.

673
00:45:39,862 --> 00:45:41,864
But for God's sake,
be discreet about it.

674
00:45:42,072 --> 00:45:44,115
Oh! Oh.

675
00:45:44,199 --> 00:45:45,242
Good.

676
00:45:45,326 --> 00:45:46,409
Oh. Oh.

677
00:45:52,666 --> 00:45:54,376
"Virtual reality"?

678
00:45:54,501 --> 00:45:55,501
That's right, sir.

679
00:45:55,585 --> 00:45:57,945
P's built a computer model of
the inside of Volta's mansion.

680
00:45:58,005 --> 00:46:02,967
When you put on this headset, it will look
and feel as if you are inside the house.

681
00:46:03,052 --> 00:46:06,512
You'll be able to open and close
doors, walk up and down staircases,

682
00:46:06,597 --> 00:46:09,391
completely familiarize
yourself with its layout.

683
00:46:09,474 --> 00:46:12,728
This floor moves in any
direction. 80 you can walk...

684
00:46:13,978 --> 00:46:17,398
You can walk as far as you
want in the virtual world

685
00:46:18,150 --> 00:46:20,610
without ever actually
leaving this room.

686
00:46:20,985 --> 00:46:22,028
One thing though, sir.

687
00:46:23,237 --> 00:46:24,949
The experience can be
very disorientating.

688
00:46:25,032 --> 00:46:26,240
It's completely immersive

689
00:46:26,324 --> 00:46:29,369
and some people lose all track
of their actual surroundings.

690
00:46:29,452 --> 00:46:32,664
(SCOFFS) I think we can pretty much
guarantee that's not gonna happen.

691
00:46:32,998 --> 00:46:35,333
I'll just need you to sign the
health and safety releases.

692
00:46:35,668 --> 00:46:38,378
(SIGHS) Would you excuse
me while I find an iPad.

693
00:46:39,380 --> 00:46:42,675
Oh, go with him, Bough. If we don't
ohivvy him along we'll be here all day.

694
00:46:45,177 --> 00:46:46,719
(SIGHS)

695
00:46:48,722 --> 00:46:49,974
Hmm.

696
00:47:10,159 --> 00:47:11,327
Ah.

697
00:47:11,744 --> 00:47:13,864
Amrmonflflfvozzw _<_CM_O
_U_l><_an OZ Im>_U_U_l_OZ_mmv

698
00:47:24,257 --> 00:47:25,634
(HORN HONKING)

699
00:47:30,556 --> 00:47:32,306
(BRAKES SCREECH) (HORN HONKING)

700
00:47:33,391 --> 00:47:34,393
MAN: Watch out!

701
00:47:36,353 --> 00:47:37,855
(HORNS HONKING)

702
00:47:39,063 --> 00:47:40,106
(RAPID BEEPING)

703
00:47:55,246 --> 00:47:56,706
(GROANS)

704
00:47:59,126 --> 00:48:00,793
(BEEPING)

705
00:48:02,670 --> 00:48:04,465
AUTOMATED VOICE: <i>Door Closing.</i>

706
00:48:05,090 --> 00:48:06,425
<i>Going down.</i>

707
00:48:10,929 --> 00:48:12,097
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

708
00:48:12,181 --> 00:48:13,306
(GROANS)

709
00:48:16,726 --> 00:48:17,769
(GROANING)

710
00:48:17,894 --> 00:48:19,480
(IMITATING GUNFIRE)

711
00:48:28,572 --> 00:48:30,157
(BEEPING)

712
00:48:34,702 --> 00:48:36,079
(BRAKES SCREECH)

713
00:48:36,163 --> 00:48:37,623
(PANTING)

714
00:48:37,706 --> 00:48:39,041
(DOG WHINES)

715
00:48:41,668 --> 00:48:43,670
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

716
00:48:45,463 --> 00:48:46,672
(GRUNTS)

717
00:48:47,173 --> 00:48:48,925
(BEEPING)

718
00:48:56,432 --> 00:48:58,184
(COFFEE MACHINE WHIRRING)

719
00:49:07,152 --> 00:49:08,320
Hey!

720
00:49:08,445 --> 00:49:09,487
(GASPS)

721
00:49:09,780 --> 00:49:11,572
(GRUNTING)

722
00:49:13,242 --> 00:49:14,992
(SCREAMING) (BRAKES SCREECH)

723
00:49:15,994 --> 00:49:17,538
(CHUCKLES) (HORNS HONKING)

724
00:49:17,621 --> 00:49:18,996
(RAPID BEEPING)

725
00:49:23,793 --> 00:49:25,688
I'm sorry, sir, but you're
going to have to leave.

726
00:49:25,711 --> 00:49:26,755
Ow.

727
00:49:27,047 --> 00:49:28,090
Ow.

728
00:49:29,382 --> 00:49:30,800
(GRUNTING)

729
00:49:34,262 --> 00:49:35,347
(EXHALES)

730
00:49:35,429 --> 00:49:36,472
(CHUCKLES)

731
00:49:37,181 --> 00:49:38,224
(GLASS SHATTERS)

732
00:49:47,568 --> 00:49:49,068
(BELL DINGS)

733
00:49:51,737 --> 00:49:54,867
TOUR GUIDE: So, we'll shortly
be arriving at Admiralty House.

734
00:49:54,992 --> 00:49:58,911
And, er, that actually used to be
Oliver Cromwell's own house. Um...

735
00:50:00,706 --> 00:50:02,039
Uh...

736
00:50:02,166 --> 00:50:05,668
And then we'll be going
to Horse Guards Parade.

737
00:50:05,751 --> 00:50:07,378
(GRUNTING)

738
00:50:08,422 --> 00:50:10,215
Perhaps you'd like
to sit down, sir?

739
00:50:10,298 --> 00:50:11,884
(BOTH GROANING)

740
00:50:12,967 --> 00:50:14,844
MAN: Hey, whoa!

741
00:50:15,469 --> 00:50:16,972
(GRUNTING)

742
00:50:19,474 --> 00:50:20,893
I've got them!

743
00:50:21,393 --> 00:50:23,644
(BOTH GROANING)

744
00:50:25,563 --> 00:50:29,525
However, the agent we have on this mission
is confident he's making major progress.

745
00:50:29,610 --> 00:50:32,403
And, uh, yes, we have a potential
suspect, he's been identified.

746
00:50:32,905 --> 00:50:36,909
And further covert
investigations are now ongoing.

747
00:50:36,992 --> 00:50:38,117
(ALL GASP)

748
00:50:38,202 --> 00:50:39,411
Yes, quite.

749
00:50:39,661 --> 00:50:42,581
So I expect to have more
to announce on this front

750
00:50:44,333 --> 00:50:45,500
shortly.

751
00:50:50,505 --> 00:50:51,797
(BELL DINGS)

752
00:50:58,096 --> 00:50:59,264
(BEEPING)

753
00:50:59,389 --> 00:51:00,556
Oh.

754
00:51:01,432 --> 00:51:02,434
BOUGH: Sir?

755
00:51:02,516 --> 00:51:03,643
Mmm?

756
00:51:03,726 --> 00:51:06,563
Is everything all right. Sir?
Yes. I've done it, Bough.

757
00:51:06,813 --> 00:51:09,565
Child's play. Don't know what
all the fuss was about.

758
00:51:12,443 --> 00:51:15,405
(SIRENS WAILING)

759
00:51:16,155 --> 00:51:17,365
(DOOR CLOSES)

760
00:51:18,157 --> 00:51:20,034
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

761
00:51:23,163 --> 00:51:25,164
<i>Pleasure to see you again,
Prime Minister.</i>

762
00:51:26,791 --> 00:51:29,710
(WHISPERING) It's a hologram. Apparently
you just speak to it normally.

763
00:51:31,380 --> 00:51:33,547
The pleasure's all mine.

764
00:51:33,632 --> 00:51:37,510
Hate to rush you, but was there
something in particular you needed?

765
00:51:37,594 --> 00:51:40,264
Actually, I was just calling
really to see

766
00:51:40,347 --> 00:51:44,393
if you had had a chance
to think things over.

767
00:51:44,643 --> 00:51:45,643
<i>I have.</i>

768
00:51:48,146 --> 00:51:51,733
But the thing is, Fiona, I just don't
really do other people's security.

769
00:51:51,817 --> 00:51:55,195
<i>Not that I don't want to. But
your infrastructure is old.</i>

770
00:51:55,528 --> 00:51:57,257
Plus the only way I could keep
you secure in the meantime

771
00:51:57,280 --> 00:52:00,826
would be by storing all your
data on my own servers.

772
00:52:00,909 --> 00:52:03,036
<i>Obviously, that would be...
Yes. Jason.</i>

773
00:52:03,119 --> 00:52:07,081
What I really want to do is announce
this tie-up at the G12 meeting.

774
00:52:07,958 --> 00:52:10,293
<i>Do we have a deal?</i>

775
00:52:10,376 --> 00:52:11,670
(LAUGHS)

776
00:52:19,469 --> 00:52:21,137
BOUGH: Good luck, sir.

777
00:52:39,822 --> 00:52:40,824
JASON: Hey.

778
00:52:40,990 --> 00:52:41,992
MAN: Sir?

779
00:52:42,074 --> 00:52:44,577
I said to get the chopper ready.
Right there.

780
00:52:44,661 --> 00:52:45,871
MAN: Sir. Right away, sir.

781
00:52:46,038 --> 00:52:47,246
Thank you.

782
00:52:47,456 --> 00:52:49,041
MAN: Tyler, come in.
TYLER: <i>Copy.</i>

783
00:52:49,458 --> 00:52:51,418
MAN: Tyler, can you prepare
the chopper now?

784
00:52:51,543 --> 00:52:54,338
TYLER: <i>We'll have everything ready
for you in a couple of minutes.</i>

785
00:52:58,382 --> 00:52:59,467
(CLATTERS)

786
00:53:24,242 --> 00:53:25,577
(CHUCKLES)

787
00:53:25,659 --> 00:53:28,663
We can't keep meeting
like this, Mr. Golightly.

788
00:53:28,746 --> 00:53:30,081
Oh, yes.

789
00:53:30,164 --> 00:53:33,126
Or do you want to end this Charade
and tell me your real name?

790
00:53:33,418 --> 00:53:34,960
(DOOR OPENS)

791
00:53:35,420 --> 00:53:37,422
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

792
00:53:37,880 --> 00:53:41,760
There's so much you don't understand about
this world you've got caught up in.

793
00:53:42,844 --> 00:53:46,222
Spare me the idiot act.
You're British Secret Service.

794
00:53:47,431 --> 00:53:51,186
Impressive work in France, by the way.
When did you realize I was a spy, too?

795
00:53:52,686 --> 00:53:55,981
Oh, pretty much straight away.

796
00:53:56,858 --> 00:53:57,900
Hmm.

797
00:54:00,277 --> 00:54:04,282
I've spent two years undercover.
Simple operation until you showed up.

798
00:54:04,490 --> 00:54:06,242
And I like
to keep things simple.

799
00:54:07,119 --> 00:54:08,994
"Simple" is my middle name.

800
00:54:10,204 --> 00:54:11,373
(DOOR OPENS) (GASPS)

801
00:54:11,456 --> 00:54:12,666
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

802
00:54:13,250 --> 00:54:15,126
It would seem you've got
a choice to make.

803
00:54:17,753 --> 00:54:21,675
Temporary suspension ofhosfinfies?
A short-term partnership?

804
00:54:26,679 --> 00:54:27,847
(GROANS)

805
00:54:30,641 --> 00:54:31,809
Hmm.

806
00:54:31,976 --> 00:54:34,938
JASON: Politicians are even more
gullible than venture capitalists.

807
00:54:35,021 --> 00:54:36,021
<i>XANDER: That is correct.</i>

808
00:54:36,106 --> 00:54:37,385
Get me a copy
of the target list.

809
00:54:37,648 --> 00:54:39,985
We'll hit them once more
just to be on the safe side.

810
00:54:40,527 --> 00:54:43,655
Give me your phone.
You don't have a phone?

811
00:54:43,780 --> 00:54:46,157
A phone will give anyone
your precise location.

812
00:54:46,240 --> 00:54:48,909
And yet they're so useful
for making phone calls.

813
00:54:48,994 --> 00:54:51,371
JASON: Excellent.
I'm not phoning anyone.

814
00:54:52,121 --> 00:54:55,041
I'm gathering evidence.

815
00:54:56,918 --> 00:55:00,755
XANDER: <i>The target list, Jason. Four
iconic central London landmarks.</i>

816
00:55:00,880 --> 00:55:02,965
<i>Make your selection.
Number three.</i>

817
00:55:03,090 --> 00:55:04,925
<i>XANDER: The London Eye.</i>

818
00:55:06,177 --> 00:55:11,391
<i>This cyber attack could potentially
impact 16,000 visitors.</i>

819
00:55:11,474 --> 00:55:13,643
(POP SONG PLAYING LOUDLY
ON CELL PHONE)

820
00:55:16,730 --> 00:55:19,231
I found him snooping
around upstairs.

821
00:55:20,317 --> 00:55:22,235
And who are you exactly?

822
00:55:22,360 --> 00:55:23,820
I'm not telling you anything.

823
00:55:23,903 --> 00:55:24,945
Hmm.

824
00:55:25,989 --> 00:55:28,157
XANDER: <i>Face recognition
software launched.</i>

825
00:55:28,492 --> 00:55:31,952
<i>Johnny English is a geography
teacher from Lincolnshire.</i>

826
00:55:32,411 --> 00:55:36,248
Rather heavily armed for a lesson
on European capitals, Mr. English.

827
00:55:36,333 --> 00:55:37,375
(CHUCKLES)

828
00:55:38,751 --> 00:55:39,960
Any thoughts, sweetheart?

829
00:55:40,961 --> 00:55:42,880
He's British Intelligence.

830
00:55:42,963 --> 00:55:44,090
(JASON CHUCKLES)

831
00:55:44,173 --> 00:55:46,342
And there you have it,
two words that have

832
00:55:46,425 --> 00:55:49,346
no right being
in the same sentence together.

833
00:55:49,721 --> 00:55:52,724
(CHUCKLES) Do you really think
I came here alone?

834
00:55:53,099 --> 00:55:56,393
I have a team of crack
operatives out there, right now,

835
00:55:56,478 --> 00:55:57,978
just waiting to strike.

836
00:55:58,063 --> 00:55:59,356
Uh-huh.

837
00:56:00,648 --> 00:56:02,192
(BEEPS)

838
00:56:02,358 --> 00:56:04,360
(BOUGH PANTING) (DOG BARKING)

839
00:56:04,443 --> 00:56:05,487
<i>Sir!</i>

840
00:56:05,570 --> 00:56:07,739
(LAUGHING)

841
00:56:08,697 --> 00:56:10,992
What has happened
to this country?

842
00:56:11,117 --> 00:56:13,827
How is it possible
that less than a century ago

843
00:56:13,911 --> 00:56:16,914
the British Empire
ruled a quarter of the globe

844
00:56:17,039 --> 00:56:20,626
and now it's relying on someone

845
00:56:21,795 --> 00:56:24,213
like you? (LAUGHS)

846
00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:29,802
Hey! Stop!

847
00:56:31,137 --> 00:56:32,137
Stop him?

848
00:56:33,889 --> 00:56:35,809
(GRUNTS) (DOOR BEEPS)

849
00:56:38,228 --> 00:56:39,311
(CHUCKLES)

850
00:56:46,068 --> 00:56:47,070
Go.

851
00:56:55,536 --> 00:56:56,954
Close the gates. MAN: Yes, sir.

852
00:56:59,541 --> 00:57:00,750
(LAUGHS)

853
00:57:05,547 --> 00:57:06,755
(GATES CLOSE)

854
00:57:07,840 --> 00:57:09,175
Help! Stop!

855
00:57:09,259 --> 00:57:11,635
Obstacle directly ahead,
Mrs. Trattner.

856
00:57:11,760 --> 00:57:15,681
Check your mirrors
and bring the car to a stop.

857
00:57:18,018 --> 00:57:19,728
Er, excuse me. Hey.

858
00:57:19,853 --> 00:57:21,646
(STAMMERS)

859
00:57:21,730 --> 00:57:22,731
Thank you. (GRUNTS)

860
00:57:26,318 --> 00:57:27,318
Drive!

861
00:57:28,402 --> 00:57:29,528
(WHIMPERS)

862
00:57:29,612 --> 00:57:30,614
Excuse me.

863
00:57:30,697 --> 00:57:32,507
MRS. TRATTNER: What... What
do you think you're doing?

864
00:57:32,532 --> 00:57:35,117
INSTRUCTOR: Excuse me! You are
not a qualified instructor.

865
00:57:36,161 --> 00:57:37,704
(SCREAMING)

866
00:57:44,293 --> 00:57:46,545
But what about my instructor?
Turn left.

867
00:57:46,630 --> 00:57:47,672
Oh.

868
00:57:48,547 --> 00:57:49,590
Turn right.

869
00:57:54,012 --> 00:57:56,556
For future reference,
I'm on your left.

870
00:57:56,889 --> 00:58:00,393
Please, stop.
I can't do this anymore!

871
00:58:02,853 --> 00:58:04,356
(WHIMPERING)

872
00:58:04,773 --> 00:58:06,358
I can't see anything now!

873
00:58:06,858 --> 00:58:07,858
Good.

874
00:58:19,536 --> 00:58:21,498
When I say "go,"
turn sharp right.

875
00:58:21,581 --> 00:58:22,791
Uh-huh.

876
00:58:26,585 --> 00:58:28,838
Three, two, one.

877
00:58:29,338 --> 00:58:30,340
Go!

878
00:58:30,715 --> 00:58:33,092
(TIRES SCREECHING) (WHIMPERING)

879
00:58:33,592 --> 00:58:35,512
And straighten up,
straighten up, straighten up.

880
00:58:35,594 --> 00:58:36,804
And go!

881
00:58:37,597 --> 00:58:38,597
Let's go, let's go.

882
00:58:41,226 --> 00:58:42,559
(SCOFFS)

883
00:58:47,398 --> 00:58:49,317
Oh, nowjust bear left
a little. Good.

884
00:58:49,733 --> 00:58:51,110
Straighten up, straighten up.

885
00:58:55,572 --> 00:58:56,574
Good!

886
00:59:00,704 --> 00:59:02,996
Well, that was
very good, Mrs. Trattner.

887
00:59:03,164 --> 00:59:04,666
(MRS. TRATTNER WHIMPERING)

888
00:59:05,750 --> 00:59:07,960
I think you made
some real progress today.

889
00:59:09,545 --> 00:59:11,065
PEGASUS: <i>You're
not hearing me, English.</i>

890
00:59:11,088 --> 00:59:14,150
<i>Given the Prime Minister's new friendship
with Volta, the situation has changed.</i>

891
00:59:14,175 --> 00:59:18,804
But the facts haven't, sir. That
attack is Volta's responsibility.

892
00:59:18,887 --> 00:59:21,349
According to you, but not
according to anyone else.

893
00:59:21,432 --> 00:59:22,851
PRIME MINISTER: Is he here yet?

894
00:59:23,476 --> 00:59:25,853
Good afternoon, Prime Minister.
So, this is, uh...

895
00:59:26,103 --> 00:59:28,898
English, Prime Minister.
Johnny English.

896
00:59:29,190 --> 00:59:31,693
VVhatexaofly do you have
to say for yourself?

897
00:59:31,985 --> 00:59:33,737
Rather a lot, actually.

898
00:59:34,027 --> 00:59:37,614
However, men like me don't deal
in prevarication, Prime Minister,

899
00:59:37,699 --> 00:59:39,367
so let me get
straight to the point.

900
00:59:39,451 --> 00:59:42,704
Jason Volta is the man
behind these attacks.

901
00:59:42,786 --> 00:59:45,373
And I have the evidence
to prove it.

902
00:59:46,416 --> 00:59:50,128
I managed to record this
inside Volta's country lair.

903
00:59:50,253 --> 00:59:51,755
But I should warn you,
Prime Minister,

904
00:59:51,880 --> 00:59:55,800
that what you're about to see
is evil incarnate.

905
00:59:57,802 --> 00:59:59,012
Hmm.

906
01:00:01,222 --> 01:00:04,184
<i>Here we are
at Fifi's third birthday!</i>

907
01:00:04,266 --> 01:00:06,518
<i>And it's a very exciting day!</i>

908
01:00:06,603 --> 01:00:08,021
(GUESTS LAUGHING)

909
01:00:08,313 --> 01:00:11,065
ALL: <i>Hip hip, hooray!
Hip hip, hooray!</i>

910
01:00:12,108 --> 01:00:15,277
ALL: (SINGING)
<i>Happy birthday to you.</i>

911
01:00:16,445 --> 01:00:20,282
<i>Happy birthday to you</i>

912
01:00:20,365 --> 01:00:21,576
(VIDEO STOPS)

913
01:00:21,659 --> 01:00:22,659
Thank you.

914
01:00:23,119 --> 01:00:25,538
Can I just ask,
what is wrong with you?

915
01:00:26,831 --> 01:00:29,208
The country is in a state
of complete chaos.

916
01:00:29,291 --> 01:00:30,460
The press is wetting itself,

917
01:00:30,543 --> 01:00:32,503
and the only person
capable of saving us

918
01:00:32,586 --> 01:00:34,838
is the man you're accusing
of high treason.

919
01:00:35,798 --> 01:00:39,092
I was in the room myself when he
gave the order, Prime Minister!

920
01:00:39,219 --> 01:00:40,427
But there was a...

921
01:00:40,512 --> 01:00:42,197
Do you know what I was
in the room with, English?

922
01:00:42,222 --> 01:00:43,907
Your file, which I've read,
in its entirety,

923
01:00:43,931 --> 01:00:45,012
and I have a few questions.

924
01:00:45,099 --> 01:00:46,643
Did you or did you not burn

925
01:00:46,726 --> 01:00:49,186
the Cote de Roc restaurant in
Antibes to the ground?

926
01:00:49,269 --> 01:00:50,355
Um...

927
01:00:50,438 --> 01:00:52,815
And did you or did you not
fire a guided missile

928
01:00:52,940 --> 01:00:54,567
at a peloton of French cyclists?

929
01:00:55,108 --> 01:00:56,110
Well...

930
01:00:56,235 --> 01:00:57,653
Before commandeering
an open-top bus

931
01:00:57,778 --> 01:00:59,905
and tossing the tour guide
off the top deck,

932
01:01:00,030 --> 01:01:02,342
and then assaulting an 82-year-old
grandmother in a sandwich shop

933
01:01:02,367 --> 01:01:04,619
before battering the employee
of said sandwich shop

934
01:01:04,702 --> 01:01:06,621
with two organic
sourdough baguettes?

935
01:01:07,746 --> 01:01:09,498
Uh, I don't remember the...

936
01:01:09,623 --> 01:01:12,710
Do you have any idea
how hard it is to be me?

937
01:01:14,295 --> 01:01:15,922
PRIME MINISTER: Hmm?

938
01:01:16,840 --> 01:01:18,842
Do you have even
the foggiest notion

939
01:01:18,967 --> 01:01:22,469
of how virtually impossible
it is to get anything done

940
01:01:22,594 --> 01:01:27,266
in the face of events
and facts and voters

941
01:01:27,391 --> 01:01:30,519
and that tsunami of tosspots
we call "the national press"?

942
01:01:30,644 --> 01:01:33,981
Finally I get the chance to do
something good for my country,

943
01:01:34,065 --> 01:01:35,315
and what happens?

944
01:01:35,440 --> 01:01:38,027
The universe sends me you.

945
01:01:39,778 --> 01:01:41,322
Well, do you know what I say?

946
01:01:41,405 --> 01:01:44,324
I say, up the universe's arse!

947
01:01:44,449 --> 01:01:46,494
And do you know what else I say?
You're fired.

948
01:01:46,577 --> 01:01:48,621
With immediate effect.
Now get out!

949
01:01:48,996 --> 01:01:53,041
And make sure I never clap eyes
on that imbecile ever again!

950
01:01:53,166 --> 01:01:55,168
(FOOTSTEPS RECEDING)

951
01:02:02,217 --> 01:02:03,677
(KEYS JANGLING)

952
01:02:09,224 --> 01:02:10,559
(SIGHS)

953
01:02:19,193 --> 01:02:21,070
(ENGINE STALLING)

954
01:02:27,827 --> 01:02:29,621
(THUNDER RUMBLING)

955
01:02:35,001 --> 01:02:36,835
BOUGH: What are you doing, sir?

956
01:02:37,920 --> 01:02:41,048
What do you think I'm doing,
Bough? I'm going home.

957
01:02:41,423 --> 01:02:43,842
But the Prime Minister is
finalizing her deal with Volta.

958
01:02:43,967 --> 01:02:47,221
She's taking him to the G12 Summit
in Scotland as her special guest.

959
01:02:47,347 --> 01:02:51,351
It's over, Bough. And there's
absolutely nothing we can do about it.

960
01:02:52,059 --> 01:02:54,728
But, sir, I have a plan.

961
01:02:55,103 --> 01:02:56,898
Remember my wife?

962
01:03:05,782 --> 01:03:07,074
Clear your baffles.

963
01:03:07,784 --> 01:03:09,577
(MOUTHS) What?
Mind your head, sir.

964
01:03:09,661 --> 01:03:10,744
Ow!

965
01:03:13,831 --> 01:03:15,083
This says we're sinking.

966
01:03:18,753 --> 01:03:23,632
She's old and a little rusty, but she can
put on a hell of a fireworks display.

967
01:03:40,525 --> 01:03:42,318
Excellent work, Commander.

968
01:03:42,610 --> 01:03:45,405
Jeremy has always spoken very
highly of you, Agent English.

969
01:03:46,572 --> 01:03:47,572
Who?

970
01:03:49,492 --> 01:03:50,659
Oh.

971
01:03:50,742 --> 01:03:52,411
Oh, yes, yes.

972
01:03:54,288 --> 01:03:56,416
I'm no fan of the pen
pushers myself, so

973
01:03:56,498 --> 01:03:58,518
when orders came through
stationing us here for the Summit,

974
01:03:58,543 --> 01:04:00,961
well, I thought a lift was
the least I could do.

975
01:04:01,295 --> 01:04:03,213
Right, let's get
a move on, Bough.

976
01:04:04,632 --> 01:04:06,443
Oh, if you wouldn't mind
keeping your mobiles off

977
01:04:06,467 --> 01:04:07,827
until you're well clear,
gentlemen.

978
01:04:07,885 --> 01:04:10,387
The launch systems on the
missiles are a bit 1980s.

979
01:04:10,471 --> 01:04:13,224
Gets a tad twitchy
around microwave radiation.

980
01:04:13,349 --> 01:04:17,353
No problem there, Commander. We're
doing this mission old-school.

981
01:04:23,317 --> 01:04:24,818
(GRAPPLE GUN FIRES)

982
01:04:27,487 --> 01:04:29,157
This spot is perfect.

983
01:04:30,742 --> 01:04:32,076
Come on.

984
01:04:33,494 --> 01:04:35,288
(STRAINING)

985
01:04:41,753 --> 01:04:43,755
(PANTING)

986
01:04:44,463 --> 01:04:46,132
(YELPING)

987
01:04:47,592 --> 01:04:48,592
(WHISPERS) Sorry, sir.

988
01:04:48,675 --> 01:04:50,135
Come on, come on...

989
01:04:52,012 --> 01:04:53,764
Right, Bough. Our
mission here is simple.

990
01:04:53,931 --> 01:04:57,309
Gain access to Volta's bedroom
and take him out.

991
01:04:57,726 --> 01:04:59,806
BOUGH: How are you going to
get up there, though, sw?

992
01:05:00,063 --> 01:05:03,356
A walk in the park
for the exoskeleton.

993
01:05:09,822 --> 01:05:12,867
ENGLISH: Remotely operated
neoprene bodysuit.

994
01:05:12,992 --> 01:05:15,911
Increases the wearer's
strength 100 times.

995
01:05:16,286 --> 01:05:19,581
Right, power it up. Stick in
the floppy disk and let's go.

996
01:05:23,251 --> 01:05:24,670
(BEEPING)

997
01:05:27,882 --> 01:05:28,882
Just”.

998
01:05:45,358 --> 01:05:46,567
Crikey, sir!

999
01:06:03,000 --> 01:06:04,835
JASON: When will
the weapon be ready?

1000
01:06:04,960 --> 01:06:08,588
XANDER: <i>As soon as the Prime Minister
signs the agreement, tonight.</i>

1001
01:06:08,713 --> 01:06:10,048
JASON: How do I fire it?

1002
01:06:10,173 --> 01:06:12,760
<i>Press once and the attack
is launched.</i>

1003
01:06:13,010 --> 01:06:16,472
<i>After which, the data
of every G12 country</i>

1004
01:06:16,597 --> 01:06:20,101
<i>will be transferred to the
servers on board the Dot</i> Calm.

1005
01:06:20,184 --> 01:06:21,184
JASON: Perfect.

1006
01:06:22,853 --> 01:06:23,938
Ah.

1007
01:06:25,356 --> 01:06:26,356
Cheers.

1008
01:06:31,570 --> 01:06:33,405
(EXHALES)

1009
01:06:34,782 --> 01:06:38,077
You're working for Russian Intelligence
and you have been from the start.

1010
01:06:38,577 --> 01:06:41,389
Which is why I've taken an antidote
to the poison you keep in your ring,

1011
01:06:41,414 --> 01:06:43,081
and which you've poured
into this drink.

1012
01:06:44,833 --> 01:06:47,128
And removed the firing pin
from that pistol.

1013
01:06:48,461 --> 01:06:49,588
(GUN CLICKING)

1014
01:06:52,675 --> 01:06:54,135
(BREATHING HEAVILY)

1015
01:06:55,969 --> 01:06:57,929
Everyone has to make a life
for themselves.

1016
01:06:58,222 --> 01:07:00,349
It's just sad that yours is

1017
01:07:01,434 --> 01:07:02,476
over.

1018
01:07:02,559 --> 01:07:03,643
Hmm.

1019
01:07:03,728 --> 01:07:07,023
Fresh from my 3D printer.
Hundred percent plastic.

1020
01:07:10,233 --> 01:07:11,902
And 100% deadly.

1021
01:07:13,070 --> 01:07:14,989
Killing me won't save you.
(JASON CHUCKLES)

1022
01:07:15,907 --> 01:07:16,907
Don't bet on it.

1023
01:07:18,201 --> 01:07:20,077
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)

1024
01:07:21,661 --> 01:07:24,039
Seriously,
this cannot be happening.

1025
01:07:24,248 --> 01:07:26,125
Oh, but it is.

1026
01:07:27,168 --> 01:07:28,335
Drop the gun.

1027
01:07:29,253 --> 01:07:30,588
Get your hands in the air.

1028
01:07:31,547 --> 01:07:32,547
And you.

1029
01:07:40,639 --> 01:07:41,932
There's no time
for this, Johnny.

1030
01:07:42,807 --> 01:07:44,268
Oh, it isn't possible.

1031
01:07:44,351 --> 01:07:47,103
You cannot be working
with this English idiot!

1032
01:07:47,188 --> 01:07:50,608
Save the pillow talk
for your prison cell, Volta.

1033
01:07:50,942 --> 01:07:54,778
Are you inside. Sir? Yes. Yes.
Bough. You can power down.

1034
01:07:55,153 --> 01:07:56,989
Everything is under control.

1035
01:07:57,949 --> 01:07:59,282
Shut down. (BEEPS)

1036
01:07:59,367 --> 01:08:00,451
(POWERING DOWN)

1037
01:08:00,742 --> 01:08:01,911
(SCREAMING)

1038
01:08:04,496 --> 01:08:05,873
(CONTINUES SCREAMING)

1039
01:08:15,548 --> 01:08:17,260
(GRUNTING)

1040
01:08:23,849 --> 01:08:26,269
REPORTER: An historic venue
for an historic meeting.

1041
01:08:26,351 --> 01:08:30,273
The delegates from each G12 member
nation will have their own priorities...

1042
01:08:30,398 --> 01:08:32,315
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

1043
01:08:39,864 --> 01:08:41,367
(SHIVERING)

1044
01:08:41,617 --> 01:08:43,159
How do we get in now, sir?

1045
01:08:43,368 --> 01:08:45,203
(TEETH CHATTERING)

1046
01:08:46,497 --> 01:08:48,666
(BAGPIPES PLAYING)

1047
01:08:51,918 --> 01:08:53,587
(STAMMERS) What's the plan?

1048
01:08:55,588 --> 01:08:57,216
(BAND PLAYING FOLK MUSIC)

1049
01:09:05,432 --> 01:09:07,518
(PLAYING OFF-KEY)

1050
01:09:28,663 --> 01:09:30,082
GUARD: Hey, you!

1051
01:09:30,750 --> 01:09:31,833
Hey!

1052
01:09:44,637 --> 01:09:46,265
(REPORTERS CLAMORING)

1053
01:09:47,891 --> 01:09:50,685
Thank you very much. I hope
you have everything you need.

1054
01:10:07,578 --> 01:10:08,787
ENGLISH: OW!

1055
01:10:09,037 --> 01:10:10,581
On behalf of the United Kingdom,

1056
01:10:10,706 --> 01:10:14,251
may I welcome you here today to
this ancient meeting ohamber

1057
01:10:14,377 --> 01:10:16,670
where the great Scottish clans

1058
01:10:16,796 --> 01:10:20,548
once settled their differences
and forged new alliances.

1059
01:10:21,300 --> 01:10:23,511
A place I have
specifically chosen

1060
01:10:23,594 --> 01:10:26,805
in order to make
a very special announcement.

1061
01:10:27,806 --> 01:10:28,807
(ENGLISH GROANING) Sir?

1062
01:10:30,100 --> 01:10:34,063
Are you all right, sir? ENGLISH: No,
I'm not all right. Get me up, Bough.

1063
01:10:34,145 --> 01:10:36,399
(BOTH GRUNTING)

1064
01:10:37,774 --> 01:10:41,319
It's very heavy, sir.
I know how heavy it is. Bough.

1065
01:10:44,239 --> 01:10:45,949
We've got to get
to the conference...

1066
01:10:47,868 --> 01:10:50,078
To the conference room
before Volta...

1067
01:10:51,788 --> 01:10:53,998
Before Volta triggers
his weapon.

1068
01:10:55,542 --> 01:10:59,337
And so, with my signature
on this agreement...

1069
01:11:01,047 --> 01:11:03,134
it gives me great pleasure, oh,

1070
01:11:03,216 --> 01:11:07,930
to welcome to you my guest,
my friend, Jason Volta.

1071
01:11:10,850 --> 01:11:14,185
XANDER: <i>(IN</i> EARPIECE) <i>Standing
by to launch attack, Jason.</i>

1072
01:11:14,478 --> 01:11:16,646
<i>Damn it. Get me out of Ms stun.
Johnny?</i>

1073
01:11:16,771 --> 01:11:18,875
BOUGH: I can't see the join, sir.
ENGLISH: It's the clasp.

1074
01:11:18,899 --> 01:11:21,860
Release the clasp andthetop
and the bottom separate.

1075
01:11:23,820 --> 01:11:25,780
BOUGH: Must have jammed
when you fell over, sir.

1076
01:11:25,948 --> 01:11:27,992
For goodness sake.
Wait. Try this.

1077
01:11:31,369 --> 01:11:33,037
(OIL SQUIRTING)

1078
01:11:34,873 --> 01:11:36,876
That is quite a lot of oil, sir.

1079
01:11:37,960 --> 01:11:40,378
Oh, come on! Come on, come on...

1080
01:11:41,505 --> 01:11:45,216
Can you imagine what the world would
look like if it was run by Apple?

1081
01:11:46,676 --> 01:11:49,095
Or Google? Or...

1082
01:11:49,637 --> 01:11:50,722
Me?

1083
01:11:50,930 --> 01:11:52,932
(CHUCKUNG) (SHUSHES)

1084
01:11:53,975 --> 01:11:56,060
Do you think
you'd have failing schools?

1085
01:11:56,811 --> 01:11:59,148
Do you think you'd have endless
waiting in your hospitals?

1086
01:11:59,230 --> 01:12:00,231
No.

1087
01:12:00,315 --> 01:12:03,068
Think you'd have such long
lines in your airports?

1088
01:12:03,194 --> 01:12:04,737
No. PRIME MINISTER: No.

1089
01:12:05,069 --> 01:12:09,492
No, because all of these are
simple data management problems.

1090
01:12:09,617 --> 01:12:12,286
And people like me,
we love data.

1091
01:12:13,037 --> 01:12:15,706
We live for data.

1092
01:12:16,122 --> 01:12:17,832
ENGLISH: Hal.

1093
01:12:17,957 --> 01:12:20,293
Do you know
what I live for, Volta?

1094
01:12:20,377 --> 01:12:21,438
(PEOPLE MURMURING)
PRIME MINISTER: God.

1095
01:12:21,462 --> 01:12:26,841
Eliminating the threat that lying
villains like you pose to this country.

1096
01:12:27,134 --> 01:12:28,344
Oh, for God's sake.

1097
01:12:28,636 --> 01:12:30,179
Who is he? (MURMURING CONTINUES)

1098
01:12:30,345 --> 01:12:31,764
Arrest this whack job.

1099
01:12:31,889 --> 01:12:34,975
The only person ordering an
arrest around here will be me.

1100
01:12:35,768 --> 01:12:38,145
There's no cause for concern,
ladies and gentlemen,

1101
01:12:38,270 --> 01:12:42,942
you are now in the capable hands
of Her Majesty's Secret Service.

1102
01:12:43,274 --> 01:12:47,947
And you, my friend, are in for
an uncomfortable ride.

1103
01:12:48,238 --> 01:12:49,405
(GASPS)

1104
01:12:53,202 --> 01:12:54,703
(ENGLISH SCREAMING)

1105
01:12:56,579 --> 01:12:59,667
(ARMOR CLATTERING)

1106
01:12:59,750 --> 01:13:01,585
(CRASHING) (OBJECTS CLATTERING)

1107
01:13:04,462 --> 01:13:05,797
Where was I?

1108
01:13:07,257 --> 01:13:09,009
Living for data.

1109
01:13:09,385 --> 01:13:10,469
Exactly.

1110
01:13:11,804 --> 01:13:16,809
My algorithms can solve every one of your
problems as long as I have one thing.

1111
01:13:16,891 --> 01:13:17,976
Control.

1112
01:13:18,644 --> 01:13:21,980
And that is what you are about
to give me now.

1113
01:13:22,605 --> 01:13:24,774
Jason, I wonder
if you could just clarify...

1114
01:13:24,858 --> 01:13:25,943
Shut up.

1115
01:13:26,484 --> 01:13:27,735
(ALL PROTESTING) Now, hold on.

1116
01:13:29,070 --> 01:13:30,738
<i>XANDER: Castle now locked down</i>

1117
01:13:31,782 --> 01:13:34,033
<i>and under your control, Jason.</i>

1118
01:13:35,994 --> 01:13:38,413
The agreement this ignoramus
just signed

1119
01:13:38,497 --> 01:13:41,166
didn't just give me access
to all the UK's data.

1120
01:13:41,292 --> 01:13:45,253
It also gave me access to a
junction box, in North Ayrshire

1121
01:13:45,378 --> 01:13:47,922
that connects
the entire World Wide Web.

1122
01:13:48,215 --> 01:13:53,886
Disable the fiber-optic cables in that box
and the Internet will cease to exist.

1123
01:13:55,180 --> 01:13:57,765
(ENGLISH GROANING)
OPHELIA: Johnny? Are you okay?

1124
01:13:58,684 --> 01:14:00,644
(BOTH GRUNTING)

1125
01:14:05,106 --> 01:14:07,943
Have you got a phone?
We need to call for backup.

1126
01:14:08,027 --> 01:14:10,988
There's no time for backup.
I'm going after Volta.

1127
01:14:11,070 --> 01:14:12,780
And don't lose that one!

1128
01:14:13,823 --> 01:14:17,744
Do you understand what it means
if I turn the Internet off?

1129
01:14:17,953 --> 01:14:22,291
Cities will go dark. Planes
will fall out of the sky.

1130
01:14:23,000 --> 01:14:26,462
Trains will collide.
Law and order will break down

1131
01:14:26,545 --> 01:14:29,422
and the world as you know it
will be over.

1132
01:14:30,131 --> 01:14:32,760
Show, don't tell, right?

1133
01:14:35,136 --> 01:14:36,471
(BEEPS)

1134
01:14:36,555 --> 01:14:38,556
<i>XANDER:
Initiating attack, Jason.</i>

1135
01:14:39,475 --> 01:14:41,476
<i>Taking control of junction box.</i>

1136
01:14:42,603 --> 01:14:47,483
<i>Suspending Internet and electricity
supply across Britain and Europe.</i>

1137
01:14:48,524 --> 01:14:50,944
<i>Stage one of attack complete.</i>
(ALL GASP)

1138
01:14:51,444 --> 01:14:54,739
Ladies and gentlemen.
I can stop the attack

1139
01:14:54,823 --> 01:14:58,327
as long as each of you signs the same
agreement as the Prime Minister,

1140
01:14:58,409 --> 01:15:00,412
giving me complete control.

1141
01:15:01,329 --> 01:15:02,747
Your call.

1142
01:15:03,582 --> 01:15:06,377
AUTOMATED VOICE: <i>Welcome to British
Intelligence. Get me Pegasus!</i>

1143
01:15:06,793 --> 01:15:10,546
<i>For Ml5, press one.
For MIG, press two.</i>

1144
01:15:10,963 --> 01:15:13,300
<i>(SIGHS) For M17, press three.</i>

1145
01:15:15,260 --> 01:15:16,427
(TRILLING)

1146
01:15:19,890 --> 01:15:23,060
XANDER: <i>Eight G12 signatures
now acquired.</i>

1147
01:15:24,103 --> 01:15:26,689
Signal the chopper,
we're almost done here.

1148
01:15:27,105 --> 01:15:28,899
AUTOMATED VOICE:
<i>For accounts, press five.</i>

1149
01:15:28,981 --> 01:15:31,318
<i>For childcare services. Press six.
Oh.</i> come <i>on!</i>

1150
01:15:31,443 --> 01:15:33,779
<i>For more options, press seven.</i>

1151
01:15:34,279 --> 01:15:35,988
(ALARM BLARING)

1152
01:15:36,323 --> 01:15:37,323
LYDIA: What?

1153
01:15:38,742 --> 01:15:43,913
XANDER: <i>Only two further signatures required
to achieve control of G12 nations' data.</i>

1154
01:15:44,747 --> 01:15:46,166
<i>All UK data</i>

1155
01:15:46,250 --> 01:15:49,043
<i>new successfully transferred
to the Dot</i> Calm. (SIGHS)

1156
01:15:49,168 --> 01:15:52,672
AUTOMATED VOICE: <i>For Aphrodite, press one.
For Pegasus, press two.</i>

1157
01:15:53,756 --> 01:15:55,134
(ALARM BLARING)

1158
01:15:55,216 --> 01:15:56,217
Oh, my God.

1159
01:15:56,301 --> 01:16:00,012
<i>Dive the submarine.
Repeat, dive the submarine.</i>

1160
01:16:00,139 --> 01:16:02,099
(PHONE RINGING)

1161
01:16:02,807 --> 01:16:04,935
Director's office?
<i>This is Johnny English.</i>

1162
01:16:05,060 --> 01:16:09,273
I need to speak to Pegasus immediately.
It's a national emergency.

1163
01:16:09,398 --> 01:16:10,957
(PHONE RINGING)
One moment, please, sir.

1164
01:16:12,859 --> 01:16:14,002
LYDIA: <i>This</i> is HMS Vengeance.

1165
01:16:14,027 --> 01:16:17,655
We have a full launch code.
Repeat, launch code is locked.

1166
01:16:17,780 --> 01:16:19,783
<i>Do I have your permission
to fire?</i>

1167
01:16:19,908 --> 01:16:22,243
Oh, my God. Could you hold on
one moment, please?

1168
01:16:22,368 --> 01:16:24,121
Sir? Sir!

1169
01:16:25,079 --> 01:16:26,081
Hello?

1170
01:16:26,331 --> 01:16:27,332
<i>Hello?</i>

1171
01:16:27,416 --> 01:16:30,543
Sir! HMS <i>Vengeance here.</i> Do I
<i>have</i> your permission tolaunch?

1172
01:16:30,668 --> 01:16:33,588
ENGLISH: <i>What? Listen, we
have to call in an attack.</i>

1173
01:16:33,671 --> 01:16:34,983
LYDIA: <i>Did you say
"atta ck," sir?</i>

1174
01:16:35,006 --> 01:16:37,341
ENGLISH: <i>Yes, an attack. Attack.</i>

1175
01:16:38,719 --> 01:16:41,387
General quarters,
we are go for launch.

1176
01:16:41,512 --> 01:16:43,431
Target coordinates locked,
Commander.

1177
01:16:43,556 --> 01:16:44,557
Hello?

1178
01:16:46,476 --> 01:16:47,519
Hello?

1179
01:16:47,603 --> 01:16:49,061
(ALARM BLARING)

1180
01:16:49,188 --> 01:16:50,439
(GASPS)

1181
01:16:57,945 --> 01:17:00,490
SAILOR: Commander, the
missile is being redirected.

1182
01:17:01,324 --> 01:17:03,993
It seems to be looking on
to a new hostile target.

1183
01:17:06,622 --> 01:17:07,997
What's a "Sherbet F"?

1184
01:17:08,122 --> 01:17:09,416
(BEEPING)

1185
01:17:19,301 --> 01:17:21,427
Oh. No. What was that?
(ALL GASP)

1186
01:17:21,511 --> 01:17:22,887
(PANICKED CHATTER)

1187
01:17:22,970 --> 01:17:26,015
XANDER: <i>Dot Calm appears
to be offline, Jason.</i>

1188
01:17:26,182 --> 01:17:28,851
<i>The cyber attack
has been halted.</i>

1189
01:17:32,898 --> 01:17:34,233
Did you

1190
01:17:34,608 --> 01:17:37,194
make a call quite close
to the submarine, sir?

1191
01:17:40,072 --> 01:17:41,198
Um...

1192
01:17:41,280 --> 01:17:42,365
Because”.

1193
01:17:43,367 --> 01:17:44,701
You did it, sir!

1194
01:17:45,868 --> 01:17:47,621
Mission accomplished!

1195
01:17:48,162 --> 01:17:49,664
VVeH, exacfly!

1196
01:17:51,416 --> 01:17:54,502
XANDER: <i>I am re-evaluating
our options, Jason.</i>

1197
01:17:54,586 --> 01:17:56,255
(CHATTERING CONTINUES)

1198
01:18:01,009 --> 01:18:02,845
OPHELIA: Johnny! Johnny!

1199
01:18:02,927 --> 01:18:06,014
Volta is getting away! He's
heading for his helicopter!

1200
01:18:06,097 --> 01:18:07,390
No, Bough.

1201
01:18:08,600 --> 01:18:10,269
This one's mine.

1202
01:18:13,104 --> 01:18:14,564
(GRUNTING)

1203
01:18:29,537 --> 01:18:31,163
(GRUNTING)

1204
01:18:43,886 --> 01:18:45,554
Careful, sir. Sir?

1205
01:18:45,636 --> 01:18:47,555
(GRUNTING)

1206
01:18:56,606 --> 01:18:58,274
Last two steps, sir.

1207
01:18:58,358 --> 01:18:59,484
(GROANS)

1208
01:19:01,862 --> 01:19:02,904
(GASPS)

1209
01:19:03,363 --> 01:19:05,282
Not so fast, Volta!

1210
01:19:05,615 --> 01:19:06,824
(JASON LAUGHS)

1211
01:19:06,908 --> 01:19:08,993
Is this supposed to scare me,
Sir Lancelot?

1212
01:19:09,077 --> 01:19:11,078
(GRUNTING)

1213
01:19:14,123 --> 01:19:15,375
Take cover, Bough.

1214
01:19:22,006 --> 01:19:25,551
Don't worry, he's only got six
bullets in that thing.

1215
01:19:25,636 --> 01:19:26,845
(GUN CLICKING)

1216
01:19:29,014 --> 01:19:30,724
And, of course,
the thing itself.

1217
01:19:30,806 --> 01:19:32,309
(HELICOPTER POWERING UP)

1218
01:19:33,143 --> 01:19:35,186
You've run out
of options, Volta.

1219
01:19:36,020 --> 01:19:37,314
Oh, you think you've won?

1220
01:19:37,396 --> 01:19:38,606
Mmm.

1221
01:19:39,190 --> 01:19:42,234
XANDER: <i>Rerouting the attack
to our Nevada servers, Jason.</i>

1222
01:19:42,860 --> 01:19:46,864
The world's going down, English.
And I'll be the last man standing.

1223
01:19:47,490 --> 01:19:50,534
Goodbye, English!
Goodbye, Internet.

1224
01:19:51,787 --> 01:19:56,457
I've got it. That's a Gazelle
341 light attack helicopter.

1225
01:19:57,042 --> 01:19:59,543
If we can hack into
its operating system,

1226
01:19:59,795 --> 01:20:01,796
we can disable
the drive function.

1227
01:20:02,088 --> 01:20:03,090
Here.

1228
01:20:06,926 --> 01:20:11,055
Look at you! You couldn't use that
thing if your life depended on it!

1229
01:20:11,139 --> 01:20:12,265
(LAUGHS)

1230
01:20:14,016 --> 01:20:15,394
Let's get outta here.

1231
01:20:16,103 --> 01:20:17,813
Get this steel bird in the...
(GROANS)

1232
01:20:23,025 --> 01:20:27,948
XANDER: <i>Rerouting complete. Attack data
now installed at our Nevada servers.</i>

1233
01:20:28,364 --> 01:20:30,158
<i>Should I initiate?</i>

1234
01:20:30,574 --> 01:20:31,576
<i>Jason?</i>

1235
01:20:31,659 --> 01:20:33,662
(ARMOR CLANKING)

1236
01:20:36,247 --> 01:20:38,417
<i>Should I initiate
the new attack?</i>

1237
01:20:39,458 --> 01:20:41,962
Initiate this!

1238
01:20:42,045 --> 01:20:44,463
XANDER: (DISTORTED) <i>Jason.</i>

1239
01:20:54,349 --> 01:20:54,807
(CAMERAS CLICKING)

1240
01:20:54,807 --> 01:20:55,641
(CAMERAS CLICKING)

1241
01:20:55,725 --> 01:20:57,161
PRIME MINISTER: Well, uh,
ladies and gentlemen.

1242
01:20:57,185 --> 01:21:01,064
I think we can all agree, that wasn't
quite the evening we were expecting.

1243
01:21:01,148 --> 01:21:02,649
(WEAK LAUGHTER)

1244
01:21:04,900 --> 01:21:06,319
(PRIME MINISTER CLEARS THROAT)

1245
01:21:06,403 --> 01:21:08,404
I had hoped to present
to you tonight...

1246
01:21:08,529 --> 01:21:10,823
Thank you... a vision of
what Britain might be.

1247
01:21:11,240 --> 01:21:14,994
But, as it happens, the man who
saved us all this evening,

1248
01:21:15,078 --> 01:21:18,622
the man who, I might add, I
personally assigned to this case,

1249
01:21:19,248 --> 01:21:21,460
has presented us with a
different kind of vision.

1250
01:21:21,542 --> 01:21:25,838
A living embodiment, if you like, of
those fundamental British qualities

1251
01:21:25,921 --> 01:21:30,217
that have ensured that our
beloved island nation endures.

1252
01:21:30,719 --> 01:21:33,637
Courage under fire,
endless ingenuity

1253
01:21:33,721 --> 01:21:35,640
and above all, a quiet

1254
01:21:36,265 --> 01:21:38,976
unassailable dignity.

1255
01:21:39,978 --> 01:21:41,979
(PEOPLE GASPING)

1256
01:21:43,606 --> 01:21:45,524
(CAMERAS CLICKING)

1257
01:21:54,408 --> 01:21:55,452
(GROANS)

1258
01:21:58,121 --> 01:21:59,372
Thank you.

1259
01:22:06,546 --> 01:22:07,963
All together. (ALL CHEERING)

1260
01:22:14,386 --> 01:22:15,764
(STUDENTS CONTINUE CHEERING)

1261
01:22:18,850 --> 01:22:20,560
Welcome back, Mr. English.

1262
01:22:20,644 --> 01:22:21,811
Thank you, Headmaster.

1263
01:22:21,895 --> 01:22:23,663
Thank you for agreeing
to be our guest speaker.

1264
01:22:23,688 --> 01:22:26,483
Now the governors and staff are all
waiting for us in the rose garden.

1265
01:22:26,565 --> 01:22:29,485
Yes, if you could just excuse me
for a few minutes, Headmaster.

1266
01:22:30,362 --> 01:22:31,738
(CONFUSED CHATTER)

1267
01:22:35,242 --> 01:22:36,243
Oh.

1268
01:22:38,119 --> 01:22:39,371
Morning. Sir! Hello. Sir!

1269
01:22:39,453 --> 01:22:41,706
GIRLS: Welcome back, sir!

1270
01:22:41,789 --> 01:22:43,707
(STUDENTS GREETING)

1271
01:22:45,752 --> 01:22:46,837
Surprise!

1272
01:22:47,796 --> 01:22:48,963
Thank you.

1273
01:22:50,172 --> 01:22:51,757
<i>Where's Sinker? (STRAKER GRUNTS)</i>

1274
01:22:52,676 --> 01:22:54,469
Good. Here. Sir.

1275
01:22:54,719 --> 01:22:56,637
And, of course, Baggaley.

1276
01:22:56,720 --> 01:22:57,847
(BAGGALEY GROANS)

1277
01:22:57,930 --> 01:22:59,074
That was very good. Very good.

1278
01:22:59,099 --> 01:23:00,701
All right, gather round,
everyone. Gather round.

1279
01:23:00,725 --> 01:23:01,810
(EXCITED CHATTER)

1280
01:23:01,893 --> 01:23:03,811
I've got some toys to show you.

1281
01:23:03,895 --> 01:23:05,438
ALL: Ooh! There we go.

1282
01:23:06,523 --> 01:23:08,817
There we are. There we are.

1283
01:23:09,317 --> 01:23:11,403
Breadstick blowpipe. Anyone?
ALL: Me!

1284
01:23:11,485 --> 01:23:12,529
There you go.

1285
01:23:12,612 --> 01:23:14,864
Granny Smith hand grenade?

1286
01:23:15,407 --> 01:23:17,408
And what about a garroting watch?
Here. Sir.

1287
01:23:17,492 --> 01:23:18,493
There you go.

1288
01:23:18,577 --> 01:23:19,786
(BLOWS) (GROANS)

1289
01:23:19,869 --> 01:23:21,579
STUDENTS: Ooh!
Here, let me take that.

1290
01:23:21,704 --> 01:23:23,998
Don't worry. It's only a mild sedative.
(GROANING)

1291
01:23:24,082 --> 01:23:25,125
(BEEPING)

1292
01:23:25,207 --> 01:23:27,711
Oh! That's just
a five-second fuse.

1293
01:23:27,793 --> 01:23:28,878
(CHOKING)

1294
01:23:28,962 --> 01:23:31,590
Yes, all right, we all know
what garroting looks like.

1295
01:23:31,715 --> 01:23:33,716
Whenever you're ready,
Mr. English.

1296
01:23:33,841 --> 01:23:36,427
Oh, I'm sorry, Headmaster,
I'll just be one moment.

1297
01:23:36,552 --> 01:23:38,721
Just take those. Thank you. Ooh.

1298
01:23:39,597 --> 01:23:42,641
Put those away, shall we?
There we...

1299
01:23:43,350 --> 01:23:44,519
Um...

1300
01:23:45,353 --> 01:23:47,189
HEADMASTER: I always
did love a jelly baby.