1
00:01:09,904 --> 00:01:12,073
(PLAYING VIDEO GAME ON PHONE)
2
00:01:18,246 --> 00:01:19,706
(ALARM BUZZING)
3
00:01:24,919 --> 00:01:27,130
(MONKEY SCREECHING
ON CELL PHONE)
4
00:01:29,591 --> 00:01:31,134
Oh, bollocks.
5
00:01:35,764 --> 00:01:36,806
We've got a problem.
6
00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:39,476
A cyber attack?
Yes, Prime Minister.
7
00:01:39,559 --> 00:01:42,479
(SCOFFS) Took me
two bottles of wine
8
00:01:42,562 --> 00:01:45,398
and half a packet of sleeping
pills to finally nod off.
9
00:01:45,523 --> 00:01:50,028
And you wake me because some fat-fingered
hacker's pinched your PIN number?
10
00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:51,922
Well, it's a little more serious than that,
Prime Minister.
11
00:01:51,946 --> 00:01:53,865
Hmm?
The identities of every one
12
00:01:53,948 --> 00:01:55,950
of our serving agents
have been exposed.
13
00:01:56,951 --> 00:01:57,994
What?
14
00:01:58,119 --> 00:02:00,121
Who's doing this?
We're not sure, ma'am.
15
00:02:00,246 --> 00:02:03,041
So one week before I host
my first G12 Summit,
16
00:02:03,124 --> 00:02:05,335
Britain's entire security
apparatus has been taken down
17
00:02:05,460 --> 00:02:06,836
and you know
absolutely nothing?
18
00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:09,672
That does pretty much sums up
the situation, ma'am, yes.
19
00:02:09,798 --> 00:02:11,734
Well, you better get someone on
it and find me some answers!
20
00:02:11,758 --> 00:02:14,028
Yes, but that's the problem.
We don't have any agents left.
21
00:02:14,052 --> 00:02:15,094
They've all been outed.
22
00:02:15,345 --> 00:02:17,597
So bring back an old one!
23
00:02:18,973 --> 00:02:21,643
(PANTING)
24
00:02:31,402 --> 00:02:35,490
All units, this is Juliet Echo.
Stand by for target coordinates.
25
00:02:37,992 --> 00:02:41,996
Target acquired.
Repeat, target acquired.
26
00:02:57,095 --> 00:02:58,346
(YELPS)
27
00:03:00,014 --> 00:03:02,809
Now then, what have we here?
28
00:03:03,977 --> 00:03:05,019
(EXHALES)
29
00:03:05,103 --> 00:03:06,229
Sorry, sir.
30
00:03:06,396 --> 00:03:07,981
Never mind, Baggaley.
31
00:03:08,064 --> 00:03:11,109
Your concealment and camouflage
work is definitely improving.
32
00:03:11,234 --> 00:03:12,318
Thank you, sir.
33
00:03:12,527 --> 00:03:13,528
IBADULLA: Come on.
34
00:03:13,611 --> 00:03:15,530
ENGLISH: You, too, Ibadulla.
35
00:03:15,655 --> 00:03:18,825
Excellent. That is
a first-class man-trap.
36
00:03:19,534 --> 00:03:21,369
Six house points.
Yes!
37
00:03:21,619 --> 00:03:23,037
(TOY GUN FIRING)
38
00:03:23,121 --> 00:03:25,331
Right, let's get back
to school before matron
39
00:03:25,415 --> 00:03:26,851
notices you're missing.
(STUDENTS GROAN)
40
00:03:26,875 --> 00:03:29,419
And don't worry, there aren't
any more booby traps.
41
00:03:29,586 --> 00:03:31,129
(YELLS)
(STUDENTS GASP)
42
00:03:32,255 --> 00:03:34,591
Apart from this one,
of course.
43
00:03:35,383 --> 00:03:37,260
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
44
00:03:49,731 --> 00:03:50,815
Mr. English?
45
00:03:51,107 --> 00:03:52,609
We haven't seen him, sir.
46
00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:54,193
Huh.
47
00:03:55,403 --> 00:03:58,239
(DOOR CLOSES)
And that's camouflage.
48
00:03:58,323 --> 00:03:59,908
(EXCITED CHATTER)
49
00:04:00,992 --> 00:04:02,160
Hmm.
50
00:04:04,495 --> 00:04:06,414
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
51
00:04:06,497 --> 00:04:07,498
ENGLISH: And go.
52
00:04:08,583 --> 00:04:09,667
And go.
53
00:04:10,501 --> 00:04:11,878
And go.
54
00:04:12,086 --> 00:04:15,006
The welfare of your children
is our paramount concern.
55
00:04:15,381 --> 00:04:17,383
They're never exposed
to any unnecessary risk,
56
00:04:17,467 --> 00:04:18,885
I assure you.
(STUDENT WHOOPING)
57
00:04:19,594 --> 00:04:21,179
(DEVICE BEEPING)
58
00:04:24,265 --> 00:04:25,308
(GASPS)
59
00:04:29,771 --> 00:04:33,900
I think that's an "F" for your bomb
disposal coursework, Hattersley.
60
00:04:34,359 --> 00:04:37,028
"You're looking particularly
beautiful tonight."
61
00:04:37,153 --> 00:04:40,573
ALL: You're looking
particularly beautiful tonight.
62
00:04:40,865 --> 00:04:41,866
"Ching!"
63
00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:43,451
Ching!
64
00:04:43,743 --> 00:04:45,203
(BELL RINGING)
65
00:04:45,536 --> 00:04:48,081
Have a good half-term, sir!
Thank you.
66
00:04:48,206 --> 00:04:49,874
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
67
00:04:55,964 --> 00:04:57,173
(SIGHS)
68
00:05:39,257 --> 00:05:40,383
(EXHALES)
69
00:05:41,050 --> 00:05:43,302
Are you seriously telling me
this is all we've got?
70
00:05:43,428 --> 00:05:44,762
Most of them are either dead,
71
00:05:44,846 --> 00:05:47,682
having hip operations or
recovering from prostate surgery.
72
00:05:48,141 --> 00:05:49,350
(CLEARS THROAT)
73
00:05:49,767 --> 00:05:50,768
Okay.
74
00:05:51,394 --> 00:05:55,148
Before your briefing, we'll need you
to re-sign the Official Secrets Act.
75
00:05:55,273 --> 00:05:56,441
Thank you.
76
00:05:56,816 --> 00:05:57,859
Thank you.
77
00:05:57,942 --> 00:05:58,943
Thank you.
78
00:05:59,444 --> 00:06:00,945
Thank you very much.
79
00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:03,614
AGENT SEVEN:
Any of you gentlemen remember this?
80
00:06:04,073 --> 00:06:07,618
Ooh, the Mont Blanc Blaster.
Haven't seen one of those for years.
81
00:06:07,869 --> 00:06:12,540
Take the cap off and, if memory serves,
you've 20 seconds to replace it
82
00:06:12,665 --> 00:06:15,501
or it detonates with the force
of a stun grenade.
83
00:06:15,585 --> 00:06:17,712
(ALL LAUGHING)
(GASPS)
84
00:06:18,629 --> 00:06:19,672
(CHUCKLES)
85
00:06:20,381 --> 00:06:22,467
(PEN BEEPING)
86
00:06:26,179 --> 00:06:27,513
(BEEPING INTENSIFIES)
87
00:06:29,599 --> 00:06:30,600
(BEEPING STOPS)
88
00:06:30,725 --> 00:06:32,685
(SIGHS IN RELIEF)
89
00:06:35,980 --> 00:06:37,315
Thank you.
90
00:06:39,984 --> 00:06:42,361
Teas on the left, gentlemen.
91
00:06:42,487 --> 00:06:44,447
And coffees on the right.
92
00:06:44,739 --> 00:06:45,948
AGENT SEVEN: Excellent.
93
00:06:46,074 --> 00:06:49,035
Oh, damn it,
I forgot my pills.
94
00:06:49,202 --> 00:06:51,329
(AGENTS LAUGHING) AGENT SEVEN:
Here, have some of mine.
95
00:06:52,914 --> 00:06:54,999
Scotch whisky, single malt?
96
00:06:55,124 --> 00:06:56,959
AGENT FIVE:
Thank you very much.
97
00:06:57,168 --> 00:06:59,170
Coffee.
Oh.
98
00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:01,506
Here, let me
help you with that.
99
00:07:06,803 --> 00:07:07,887
Tea?
100
00:07:12,058 --> 00:07:13,267
(BEEPING)
101
00:07:13,351 --> 00:07:16,145
Ooh, this one just needs
a little top-up of hot water.
102
00:07:16,771 --> 00:07:18,231
I'll be right back.
103
00:07:18,314 --> 00:07:19,315
(DOOR OPENS)
104
00:07:20,108 --> 00:07:22,360
AGENT SEVEN: Man's a divot
of the first order.
105
00:07:22,443 --> 00:07:24,779
Someone should put him
out of his misery.
106
00:07:24,904 --> 00:07:27,949
AGENT FIVE: Along with whoever
furnished this room.
107
00:07:28,032 --> 00:07:30,118
(AGENTS LAUGHING)
(RAPID BEEPING)
108
00:07:31,536 --> 00:07:32,703
(EXPLOSION)
109
00:07:34,038 --> 00:07:35,206
Oh!
110
00:07:37,500 --> 00:07:39,502
PEGASUS: Ah, good morning.
Sorry to keep you.
111
00:07:39,585 --> 00:07:40,753
(CLEARS THROAT)
112
00:07:41,462 --> 00:07:43,214
Are the others here?
113
00:07:43,506 --> 00:07:44,757
Um...
114
00:07:45,842 --> 00:07:47,009
PEGASUS: Oh.
115
00:07:47,093 --> 00:07:48,386
(AGENTS SNORING)
116
00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:54,725
They, um... They nodded off.
117
00:07:55,268 --> 00:07:56,269
Right...
118
00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:58,813
And who are you exactly?
119
00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:00,398
English.
120
00:08:01,357 --> 00:08:03,067
Johnny English.
PEGASUS: Well...
121
00:08:04,527 --> 00:08:06,028
"English..."
(SCOFFS)
122
00:08:07,363 --> 00:08:08,823
You'll leave immediately.
123
00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:10,992
My people will give you
the full briefing en route.
124
00:08:11,075 --> 00:08:12,410
Oh, is there
anything you need?
125
00:08:12,493 --> 00:08:16,205
Yes, nerve gas nasal spray,
a type-four exoskeleton...
126
00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:18,249
You should probably
start a list.
127
00:08:18,374 --> 00:08:21,794
And a garroting watch, with a rubber strap,
not the steel bracelet
128
00:08:21,919 --> 00:08:25,256
because the links get caught in
the little hairs on my wrist.
129
00:08:25,590 --> 00:08:27,675
Oh, and I'll also
need a Bough.
130
00:08:28,217 --> 00:08:29,719
What's a Bough?
131
00:08:29,844 --> 00:08:31,012
(DOOR OPENS)
132
00:08:31,095 --> 00:08:32,096
Sir!
133
00:08:32,972 --> 00:08:34,098
(LAUGHING)
134
00:08:34,182 --> 00:08:36,017
Wonderful to see you!
135
00:08:37,226 --> 00:08:39,937
Yes, all right, Bough.
We're going on a mission, not a honeymoon.
136
00:08:40,188 --> 00:08:41,772
Yes, of course, sir.
137
00:08:42,398 --> 00:08:45,443
Ah. I think it's the pin of your buckle, sir.
It's caught on my jumper.
138
00:08:45,526 --> 00:08:46,879
Yes, I can see
what's wrong, Bough.
139
00:08:46,903 --> 00:08:50,072
If you go to your left
and I'll go to my right.
140
00:08:51,449 --> 00:08:54,702
I'm sorry, no, if you go to your
right and I'll go to my left.
141
00:08:56,746 --> 00:09:00,291
No. If I go clockwise
and you go anti-clockwise...
142
00:09:01,250 --> 00:09:02,811
Er, no, I think that's
making it worse, sir.
143
00:09:02,835 --> 00:09:05,254
Hmm. I'm surprised
that didn't work.
144
00:09:10,509 --> 00:09:13,679
Good morning, sir. I have your
agent activation pack here.
145
00:09:14,222 --> 00:09:15,890
Department-issue smartphone.
146
00:09:15,973 --> 00:09:20,269
580-megapixel camera,
4.7-inch retina HD display.
147
00:09:20,353 --> 00:09:25,358
Hmm-hmm. Ingenious. And what
does it shoot? Poison darts?
148
00:09:25,983 --> 00:09:29,695
It doesn't shoot anything.
It's a phone.
149
00:09:30,279 --> 00:09:32,198
There's a Twitter handle,
Instagram feed
150
00:09:32,281 --> 00:09:34,283
and secure login for the
department Uber account.
151
00:09:34,367 --> 00:09:35,407
What's he on about, Bough?
152
00:09:35,451 --> 00:09:37,578
I need a weapon.
Not a box of gobbledygook.
153
00:09:37,787 --> 00:09:40,122
I think, uh,
what Agent English
154
00:09:40,206 --> 00:09:42,500
is getting at, sir, is all
this is highly trackable.
155
00:09:42,792 --> 00:09:46,170
But since we're dealing with a very
sophisticated, digital target,
156
00:09:46,254 --> 00:09:50,841
we might be less visible if we took
a more analog, low-tech approach.
157
00:09:52,510 --> 00:09:53,594
Exactly.
158
00:09:55,012 --> 00:09:56,347
I see.
159
00:09:56,889 --> 00:09:58,683
Is there anything else
I can get you?
160
00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:00,434
A gun.
161
00:10:01,978 --> 00:10:06,148
We don't really
do guns anymore.
162
00:10:06,524 --> 00:10:08,109
Just get him a gun.
163
00:10:08,526 --> 00:10:09,819
P: Right, a gun.
164
00:10:10,903 --> 00:10:12,822
(DOOR OPENS)
165
00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:19,537
Right. Haven't actually done
one of these before.
166
00:10:20,705 --> 00:10:22,832
"It is my obligation
under section 14
167
00:10:22,915 --> 00:10:24,768
"of the Health and Safety
Directive to inform you
168
00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:27,461
"that the equipment with which
you are about to be issued
169
00:10:27,545 --> 00:10:29,463
"can cause injury
and bodily harm.
170
00:10:33,384 --> 00:10:36,012
"Furthermore, any agents
with nut allergies
171
00:10:36,095 --> 00:10:37,281
"should be aware
that traces of cashew oil..."
172
00:10:37,305 --> 00:10:38,639
Thank you.
173
00:10:41,267 --> 00:10:42,685
Right, transport.
174
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,524
So, take any hybrid you want.
175
00:10:49,025 --> 00:10:50,359
(EXHALES)
176
00:11:04,415 --> 00:11:05,666
I'll take this one.
177
00:11:05,916 --> 00:11:08,961
Oh, don't be ridiculous,
English. This car is a relic.
178
00:11:09,045 --> 00:11:11,839
Drinks petrol, leaks oil
and has no passive,
179
00:11:11,922 --> 00:11:13,591
let alone
active safety features.
180
00:11:13,799 --> 00:11:15,277
BOUGH: Do you know what else
it doesn't have, sir?
181
00:11:15,301 --> 00:11:18,054
Satellite navigation
or a single computer chip.
182
00:11:18,137 --> 00:11:21,390
Making it completely invisible
to a digital enemy.
183
00:11:21,474 --> 00:11:22,892
(ENGINE STARTING)
184
00:11:23,392 --> 00:11:25,478
The equipment
Agent English requested, sir.
185
00:11:25,561 --> 00:11:26,771
Thank you.
186
00:11:27,897 --> 00:11:29,690
Phone, Bough?
Yeah.
187
00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:36,072
That hi-tech villain of yours
will never see us coming.
188
00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:46,791
(TIRES SCREECHING)
189
00:11:53,589 --> 00:11:55,424
BOUGH: Let's see
what they've given us.
190
00:11:56,133 --> 00:12:00,846
Exoskeleton, exploding cotton buds,
the old shoebox inflatable.
191
00:12:00,930 --> 00:12:02,139
Hmm.
192
00:12:03,099 --> 00:12:07,478
Ooh, what are these?
Instant Release Super High Energy Pills.
193
00:12:07,686 --> 00:12:11,816
Like sticking your fingers in an
electric socket. Highly recommended.
194
00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:15,861
Right, so, the red ones must be
the Total Knockout Sleeping Pills.
195
00:12:15,986 --> 00:12:17,071
Correct.
196
00:12:17,154 --> 00:12:19,448
Hmm. Probably worth
labeling these.
197
00:12:19,532 --> 00:12:20,574
Oh. (CHUCKLES)
198
00:12:20,658 --> 00:12:23,077
Look, sir. Sweeties.
199
00:12:24,078 --> 00:12:25,162
Ooh.
200
00:12:25,704 --> 00:12:27,456
Hang on a minute.
201
00:12:27,581 --> 00:12:29,417
I always did love
a jelly baby.
202
00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:32,586
I wouldn't if I was you, Bough.
"Jelly" is short for gelignite.
203
00:12:32,670 --> 00:12:34,439
One bite and it'll take
the top of your head off
204
00:12:34,463 --> 00:12:36,132
along with
the roof of the car.
205
00:12:36,715 --> 00:12:38,467
So, what does this do?
206
00:12:39,718 --> 00:12:41,595
It's a mixtape, Bough.
207
00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:45,933
(POP SONG PLAYING)
208
00:12:46,016 --> 00:12:48,686
ENGLISH: So, destination?
BOUGH: South of France, sir.
209
00:12:48,769 --> 00:12:50,771
That cyber attack
seems to have been launched
210
00:12:50,855 --> 00:12:53,315
from the Wi-Fi signal
of a hotel in Antibes.
211
00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:41,363
Sir? Sir, I've just had
a fax through from HQ.
212
00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:44,909
Background checks on all the guests
that accessed the Wi-Fi network.
213
00:13:44,992 --> 00:13:47,119
You see? Who needs email?
214
00:13:47,203 --> 00:13:48,662
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
215
00:13:50,414 --> 00:13:51,790
(THANKS IN GERMAN)
216
00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:54,126
Um...
217
00:13:54,210 --> 00:13:56,545
One name has raised
a red flag, sir.
218
00:13:57,338 --> 00:14:00,257
Sebastian Lynch, ex-Army
and Military Intelligence.
219
00:14:00,508 --> 00:14:03,344
Now selling his services
to the highest bidder.
220
00:14:03,636 --> 00:14:06,305
Where do we find him?
Directly ahead, sir.
221
00:14:06,514 --> 00:14:07,890
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
222
00:14:07,973 --> 00:14:11,185
He's got an 8:00 reservation
at the Cote de Roc restaurant.
223
00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:15,731
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
224
00:14:21,779 --> 00:14:25,019
BOUGH: The problem's going to be getting
close enough for a full surveillance, sir.
225
00:14:25,241 --> 00:14:27,159
Not necessarily.
226
00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:30,871
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
227
00:14:30,955 --> 00:14:32,456
(DISHES CLATTERING)
228
00:14:42,508 --> 00:14:43,884
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
229
00:14:43,968 --> 00:14:47,054
SEBASTIAN: Oh, darling,
I've just gotta get this. Two seconds.
230
00:14:47,638 --> 00:14:51,976
Simple plan, two parts. You provide
the distraction, I'll get the phone.
231
00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:54,395
Yes, sir.
And from now on,
232
00:14:54,770 --> 00:14:59,733
(IN FRENCH ACCENT) perhaps we
should sound like French waiters.
233
00:15:01,402 --> 00:15:03,279
(IN FRENCH ACCENT)
French waiters?
234
00:15:04,154 --> 00:15:05,406
Yees.
235
00:15:06,949 --> 00:15:08,117
Go on.
236
00:15:10,286 --> 00:15:11,954
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
237
00:15:13,872 --> 00:15:15,916
Are you finished now,
Sebastian?
238
00:15:17,209 --> 00:15:18,711
Bread roll?
239
00:15:18,961 --> 00:15:20,045
Yes, thank you.
240
00:15:20,421 --> 00:15:22,381
BOUGH: Excellent choice,
madame.
241
00:15:23,841 --> 00:15:25,259
Good evening.
242
00:15:25,843 --> 00:15:27,428
How are you?
243
00:15:29,221 --> 00:15:30,723
Bread roll, sir?
244
00:15:30,848 --> 00:15:32,266
Yes. Thank you.
245
00:15:32,349 --> 00:15:33,601
(HUMMING)
246
00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:36,270
(SCOFFS)
247
00:15:37,271 --> 00:15:38,564
One second.
248
00:15:38,856 --> 00:15:40,774
Excuse me,
would you mind?
249
00:15:41,609 --> 00:15:43,819
Oh, yes. Evening.
250
00:15:44,403 --> 00:15:45,487
Evening.
251
00:15:51,493 --> 00:15:52,786
(GASPS)
252
00:15:54,955 --> 00:15:56,290
(CHUCKLES)
253
00:15:59,835 --> 00:16:01,170
Thank you.
254
00:16:12,348 --> 00:16:13,432
(CHUCKLES)
255
00:16:13,515 --> 00:16:15,351
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
256
00:16:15,434 --> 00:16:16,602
SEBASTIAN: Where's my phone?
257
00:16:18,270 --> 00:16:19,647
WOMAN: That is your phone.
258
00:16:21,732 --> 00:16:23,567
Ooh. (EXHALES)
259
00:16:25,444 --> 00:16:27,321
(CELL PHONE CONTINUES RINGING)
260
00:16:28,238 --> 00:16:29,239
Thank you.
261
00:16:30,532 --> 00:16:31,575
Monsieur.
262
00:16:32,743 --> 00:16:36,038
The, uh, shell on my wife's lobster,
could you remove it, please?
263
00:16:38,248 --> 00:16:39,416
Yees.
264
00:16:40,209 --> 00:16:42,127
Uh... Um...
265
00:16:42,378 --> 00:16:43,545
Hmm.
266
00:16:47,549 --> 00:16:49,843
Let me crack it for you.
267
00:16:51,595 --> 00:16:53,138
(STRAINING)
268
00:17:03,691 --> 00:17:05,025
Ow!
Oh!
269
00:17:05,818 --> 00:17:06,985
Ow!
270
00:17:07,111 --> 00:17:09,697
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
271
00:17:26,338 --> 00:17:28,006
(ALL GASPING)
272
00:17:29,717 --> 00:17:31,885
(HUMMING)
273
00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:36,807
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
274
00:17:38,434 --> 00:17:39,601
Hello?
275
00:17:40,436 --> 00:17:41,979
(WOMAN SCREAMS)
276
00:17:42,688 --> 00:17:45,008
SEBASTIAN: Steve, I'll have to call you back.
Call you back.
277
00:17:47,234 --> 00:17:48,485
Give me a sec. Hang on.
278
00:17:48,569 --> 00:17:49,820
(GUESTS GASPING)
279
00:17:49,903 --> 00:17:51,447
WOMAN: What is going on?
280
00:17:54,950 --> 00:17:56,994
Sebastian,
don't get involved.
281
00:17:57,661 --> 00:17:58,746
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
282
00:18:00,330 --> 00:18:01,665
Ah.
283
00:18:05,878 --> 00:18:08,338
WOMAN: What is he doing?
SEBASTIAN: I don't know. He's a fool.
284
00:18:09,423 --> 00:18:11,008
There we are.
285
00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:14,470
Voilà.
286
00:18:21,852 --> 00:18:24,104
Hmm. Bon appétit.
287
00:18:27,232 --> 00:18:30,360
I will talk to the manager.
I will talk to the manager.
288
00:18:39,536 --> 00:18:41,622
ENGLISH: Textbook, Bough.
289
00:18:46,084 --> 00:18:47,920
BOUGH: Just
holiday snaps, sir.
290
00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:51,048
Wait a minute, this photo.
291
00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:55,135
It was taken the same day our villain
accessed the Wi-Fi, and look.
292
00:18:55,803 --> 00:18:57,763
Scarcely 50 feet from shore.
293
00:18:59,556 --> 00:19:00,933
Whoever was on that yacht
294
00:19:01,016 --> 00:19:03,769
could easily have used
the hotel's Wi-Fi,
295
00:19:03,852 --> 00:19:07,022
sent that signal
and then just sailed away.
296
00:19:07,564 --> 00:19:12,236
ENGLISH: I think it's time
we paid the Dot Calm a visit.
297
00:19:12,319 --> 00:19:14,279
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
298
00:19:24,957 --> 00:19:25,958
Algorithms.
299
00:19:26,041 --> 00:19:28,252
We are surrounded by them.
300
00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:30,504
Algorithms run our lives,
301
00:19:30,587 --> 00:19:35,050
choose our TV shows, stream our music.
Even find us a date.
302
00:19:35,342 --> 00:19:37,010
(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
303
00:19:37,094 --> 00:19:38,846
I know this chap, don't I?
304
00:19:38,971 --> 00:19:42,224
Yes, he's that Silicon Valley
billionaire who dated a Kardashian.
305
00:19:42,307 --> 00:19:45,018
Two Kardashians and a Black-Eyed Pea.
Keep watching.
306
00:19:45,185 --> 00:19:48,438
But supposing there was an
algorithm for an entire country.
307
00:19:48,522 --> 00:19:52,109
A single algorithm that could be
applied to every one of its problems.
308
00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:56,530
A single algorithm that could take
a second-rate nation and make it
309
00:19:57,072 --> 00:19:58,949
world class.
310
00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:00,232
(AUDIENCE CHATTERING
EXCITEDLY)
311
00:20:00,284 --> 00:20:02,703
Every nation
is awash with data.
312
00:20:03,412 --> 00:20:08,041
So now, more than ever, we need to
put that data to work for the people.
313
00:20:08,542 --> 00:20:11,420
These few lines of code will
deliver the kind of change
314
00:20:11,545 --> 00:20:14,298
they have been dreaming of
their entire lives.
315
00:20:14,423 --> 00:20:17,467
ON PHONE:
I am Xander. I love data.
316
00:20:17,593 --> 00:20:19,553
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
317
00:20:20,679 --> 00:20:22,431
He's so clever.
318
00:20:22,556 --> 00:20:25,475
He's young, he's sexy,
he's insanely successful.
319
00:20:25,601 --> 00:20:28,562
Just the qualities we need
people to associate with me.
320
00:20:28,645 --> 00:20:29,813
(SIGHS)
321
00:20:29,897 --> 00:20:30,939
Yes, Prime Minister.
322
00:20:31,064 --> 00:20:33,567
And they will do when he
starts working with us.
323
00:20:33,692 --> 00:20:36,278
But why would a Silicon Valley
billionaire work with us?
324
00:20:36,403 --> 00:20:39,114
Just get him into Number 10
and let me work on him.
325
00:20:39,197 --> 00:20:40,616
Yes, ma'am.
Go on.
326
00:20:43,535 --> 00:20:44,786
Oh, God, now what?
327
00:20:45,329 --> 00:20:46,890
There's been another attack,
Prime Minister.
328
00:20:46,914 --> 00:20:48,248
Oh!
Air Traffic Control.
329
00:20:48,916 --> 00:20:51,793
Someone's rerouted every
flight in Europe to Luton.
330
00:20:51,919 --> 00:20:54,105
For God's sake, tell me the
agent you've got in the field
331
00:20:54,129 --> 00:20:55,839
is making some progress?
332
00:20:56,006 --> 00:20:57,674
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
333
00:20:58,592 --> 00:21:00,677
(SIREN WAILING)
334
00:21:05,307 --> 00:21:08,310
BOUGH: So, how are we gonna find
the location of that yacht, sir?
335
00:21:08,435 --> 00:21:11,772
ENGLISH: Very easily, Bough.
We ring MI7.
336
00:21:16,026 --> 00:21:19,363
Hello, hello?
Yes, I need the location of a boat called...
337
00:21:19,446 --> 00:21:20,614
(LINE DISCONNECTS)
338
00:21:23,659 --> 00:21:26,828
Hello? Hello, yes.
A boat called the Dot Calm.
339
00:21:27,537 --> 00:21:29,706
Yes, it's a play
on words. Yeah.
340
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:31,041
Where?
(LINE DISCONNECTS)
341
00:21:37,881 --> 00:21:39,716
Looks about
half a mile out, sir.
342
00:21:40,759 --> 00:21:43,011
Do we wanna try
and swim it or...
343
00:21:43,136 --> 00:21:46,556
No, Bough.
This is a job for the shoebox inflatable.
344
00:21:46,682 --> 00:21:48,308
No, don't open it
in the car, sir!
345
00:21:48,475 --> 00:21:50,060
(SQUEAKING)
346
00:21:54,815 --> 00:21:57,818
Can you reach
your door handle?
347
00:22:00,237 --> 00:22:01,822
(MUFFLED) No, sir.
348
00:22:02,322 --> 00:22:04,658
I'll try my side.
349
00:22:22,050 --> 00:22:26,054
Right, Bough, our aim is to get
on board without anyone noticing.
350
00:22:26,596 --> 00:22:28,265
And how are we gonna do it?
351
00:22:28,473 --> 00:22:30,851
Magnetic boots.
Brilliant, sir.
352
00:22:31,727 --> 00:22:33,145
Simple mechanism.
353
00:22:33,270 --> 00:22:36,398
Left switch activates left boot.
Right switch activates right.
354
00:22:37,107 --> 00:22:38,942
Okay, let's go.
355
00:22:53,832 --> 00:22:59,337
Remember, the absolutely vital
element of this mission is surprise.
356
00:23:06,386 --> 00:23:07,637
(METAL CLANGS)
357
00:23:13,894 --> 00:23:15,353
(CLATTERING)
358
00:23:18,732 --> 00:23:20,275
(GRUNTING)
359
00:23:21,026 --> 00:23:22,879
Now, you have to get up
pretty early in the morning
360
00:23:22,903 --> 00:23:25,030
to outwit
British Intelligence.
361
00:23:27,199 --> 00:23:28,492
(GRUNTING)
362
00:23:28,992 --> 00:23:30,202
(BOTH EXHALE)
363
00:23:31,203 --> 00:23:32,287
Quick!
364
00:23:35,457 --> 00:23:37,125
(ALARM BLARING)
365
00:23:39,461 --> 00:23:41,296
WOMAN:
Good evening, gentlemen.
366
00:23:42,589 --> 00:23:44,591
Shall we start
with your names?
367
00:23:45,717 --> 00:23:48,678
Clearly you have no idea
who you're dealing with.
368
00:23:49,679 --> 00:23:52,015
That's why I'm starting
with your names.
369
00:23:52,557 --> 00:23:54,434
Actually, would you mind
coming down here?
370
00:23:54,559 --> 00:23:57,229
It's really hard to have
a conversation like this.
371
00:23:58,605 --> 00:24:00,273
I have a better idea.
372
00:24:00,565 --> 00:24:02,901
(GRUNTING)
373
00:24:07,948 --> 00:24:09,658
It's no good,
it won't move, sir.
374
00:24:10,450 --> 00:24:12,369
We'll see about that.
375
00:24:12,494 --> 00:24:14,830
Low-intensity
exploding cotton bud.
376
00:24:17,457 --> 00:24:18,542
(BEEPING)
377
00:24:18,667 --> 00:24:21,211
That's quite a powerful charge
for such a small space, sir.
378
00:24:21,294 --> 00:24:22,712
Oh, nonsense.
379
00:24:23,797 --> 00:24:24,881
(WHINING)
380
00:24:24,965 --> 00:24:27,134
There will just be
a slight pop.
381
00:24:31,805 --> 00:24:33,849
(BOTH COUGHING)
382
00:24:35,142 --> 00:24:38,062
(WHISPERS) Shall we locate the hold and
look for the source of that signal?
383
00:24:38,145 --> 00:24:42,149
(SHOUTS) I think we should locate the hold
and look for the source of that signal!
384
00:24:42,232 --> 00:24:43,608
(SHUSHING)
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
385
00:24:43,692 --> 00:24:45,318
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
386
00:24:45,485 --> 00:24:46,653
(SHOUTS) Come on!
(SHUSHES)
387
00:24:58,540 --> 00:25:01,042
(SHOUTS) I'd say we have
our villain, Bough!
388
00:25:01,168 --> 00:25:03,336
(SHUSHES) You need to keep
your voice down, sir.
389
00:25:04,212 --> 00:25:06,214
And we're not going
to lose him.
390
00:25:19,728 --> 00:25:21,980
Hand me the sherbet fountain.
391
00:25:24,482 --> 00:25:27,485
Three sucks and the location
transmitter is activated.
392
00:25:27,569 --> 00:25:31,364
This gin palace will show up
as a hostile from 30,000 feet.
393
00:25:31,907 --> 00:25:32,949
Hmm.
394
00:25:34,367 --> 00:25:37,162
(SUCKING)
(BEEPING)
395
00:25:39,831 --> 00:25:42,667
This is now an enemy target.
396
00:25:43,543 --> 00:25:45,337
(DOOR CLOSES)
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
397
00:25:48,089 --> 00:25:49,758
Aniseed balls.
398
00:25:52,844 --> 00:25:54,512
(GROANING)
399
00:25:59,935 --> 00:26:00,936
(GRUNTS)
400
00:26:01,144 --> 00:26:02,687
(GUN COCKS)
(SPLASHES)
401
00:26:04,856 --> 00:26:08,109
If you'd wanted to kill me,
you would have already done so.
402
00:26:11,529 --> 00:26:13,365
Till we meet again.
403
00:26:17,035 --> 00:26:18,119
(THUDS)
404
00:26:18,203 --> 00:26:19,496
(ENGLISH GROANS)
405
00:26:21,498 --> 00:26:22,666
Ow!
406
00:26:23,583 --> 00:26:24,876
(GROANING)
407
00:26:27,254 --> 00:26:29,547
Well, that was sooner
than I expected.
408
00:26:31,967 --> 00:26:33,301
(GROANS)
409
00:26:33,385 --> 00:26:36,471
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
410
00:26:37,514 --> 00:26:38,640
(SPLASHES)
411
00:26:40,016 --> 00:26:41,893
BOUGH: Who do you
think she is, sir?
412
00:26:41,977 --> 00:26:44,646
ENGLISH: Well, if she's not
the owner of that yacht,
413
00:26:44,729 --> 00:26:46,189
then she knows who is.
414
00:26:47,315 --> 00:26:49,818
Either way, she's the key
to this case.
415
00:26:52,153 --> 00:26:55,198
Is it true you were teaching,
sir? Before all this blew up?
416
00:26:56,491 --> 00:26:58,743
If by "teaching" you mean
417
00:26:58,868 --> 00:27:03,832
scouting for potential intelligence
operatives then yes, I was.
418
00:27:03,915 --> 00:27:05,000
Hmm.
419
00:27:05,083 --> 00:27:09,754
I actually got married, sir.
I don't know if you heard.
420
00:27:11,339 --> 00:27:12,340
No.
421
00:27:13,008 --> 00:27:14,342
Hmm.
422
00:27:14,551 --> 00:27:16,136
Yeah, Lydia.
423
00:27:16,219 --> 00:27:17,262
Lovely girl.
424
00:27:21,016 --> 00:27:23,685
You never think about getting
hitched yourself, sir?
425
00:27:23,768 --> 00:27:24,853
(SCOFFS)
426
00:27:24,936 --> 00:27:29,441
This is no life for a married man, Bough.
The danger, the constant travel.
427
00:27:29,524 --> 00:27:30,608
WAITRESS: Here you go, sir.
428
00:27:30,692 --> 00:27:32,694
More Lydia's life
than mine, sir.
429
00:27:34,154 --> 00:27:35,447
She's in the Navy, you see.
430
00:27:36,406 --> 00:27:37,574
What, as a cook?
431
00:27:38,408 --> 00:27:41,619
Or some kind of seagoing
secretary or...
432
00:27:41,703 --> 00:27:44,581
Oh, no, sir. She's the captain
of a nuclear submarine.
433
00:27:45,915 --> 00:27:47,250
Oh, right.
Hmm.
434
00:27:49,669 --> 00:27:52,422
Do you think we should get some
petrol for the Aston, sir?
435
00:27:53,882 --> 00:27:58,136
No. An Aston Martin is
surprisingly economical, Bough.
436
00:28:00,180 --> 00:28:03,183
Besides, it looks like
we're in business.
437
00:28:17,238 --> 00:28:18,406
Come on.
438
00:28:25,622 --> 00:28:27,582
BOUGH: Looks like
an electric car, sir.
439
00:28:27,665 --> 00:28:30,126
Yes, and sounds like
a nose hair trimmer.
440
00:28:30,335 --> 00:28:31,586
(ENGINE STARTING)
441
00:28:32,253 --> 00:28:33,838
ENGLISH: A bunch
of triple-A batteries
442
00:28:33,922 --> 00:28:36,549
is no match for old-fashioned
British horsepower.
443
00:28:41,679 --> 00:28:42,999
(OPHELIA AND MAN
SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
444
00:28:58,071 --> 00:29:01,449
Look at her cornering.
Seems so effortless, doesn't it, sir?
445
00:29:08,790 --> 00:29:10,583
(TIRES SCREECHING)
446
00:29:15,046 --> 00:29:16,256
(GPS BEEPING)
447
00:29:22,011 --> 00:29:23,263
(TIRES SCREECHING)
448
00:29:24,180 --> 00:29:25,306
(GRUNTS)
449
00:29:30,103 --> 00:29:31,229
(SIGHS)
450
00:29:37,277 --> 00:29:38,695
(HORN HONKING)
451
00:29:40,822 --> 00:29:42,407
Arm the missile.
452
00:29:42,490 --> 00:29:43,616
The what?
453
00:29:43,700 --> 00:29:45,952
The missile, Bough,
the one with the tear gas warhead.
454
00:29:46,035 --> 00:29:48,580
But they're just cyclists, sir.
We'll get past in a minute.
455
00:29:48,663 --> 00:29:49,863
They're French cyclists,
Bough,
456
00:29:49,956 --> 00:29:52,667
and they're obstructing
Her Majesty's Secret Service.
457
00:30:00,508 --> 00:30:01,843
BOUGH: Wiper stalk
is armed, sir.
458
00:30:08,766 --> 00:30:11,060
(CYCLISTS COUGHING)
459
00:30:11,144 --> 00:30:12,145
BOUGH: Sorry.
460
00:30:12,604 --> 00:30:14,898
Terribly sorry.
We do apologize.
461
00:30:15,023 --> 00:30:17,192
ENGLISH: Stop it, Bough,
you'll only encourage them.
462
00:30:18,902 --> 00:30:20,069
(CHUCKLES)
463
00:30:32,707 --> 00:30:35,376
What are we gonna do now, sir?
Patience, Bough.
464
00:30:35,919 --> 00:30:38,838
Driving like that, her battery
will be dead any moment.
465
00:30:38,963 --> 00:30:42,217
And she'll roll
to a humiliating stop.
466
00:30:42,509 --> 00:30:44,135
(ENGINE SPUTTERING)
467
00:30:54,312 --> 00:30:56,356
(SPUTTERING CONTINUES)
468
00:31:01,486 --> 00:31:05,073
Bough, it is your job to keep
an eye on the fuel gauge.
469
00:31:12,747 --> 00:31:14,916
Very impressive driving, Mr...
470
00:31:16,626 --> 00:31:17,710
Golightly.
471
00:31:18,753 --> 00:31:20,880
Basil Golightly.
472
00:31:23,258 --> 00:31:25,885
And you're rather useful
yourself, Miss...
473
00:31:26,553 --> 00:31:29,597
Bhuletova. Ophelia Bhuletova.
474
00:31:29,764 --> 00:31:31,015
Hmm.
475
00:31:31,099 --> 00:31:32,850
And this is...
476
00:31:33,226 --> 00:31:34,227
Colin.
477
00:31:35,853 --> 00:31:38,022
I thought we were
using fake names.
478
00:31:38,940 --> 00:31:40,692
That is a fake name.
479
00:31:43,528 --> 00:31:44,862
Oh, right.
480
00:31:46,864 --> 00:31:48,741
Yes, this is Colin,
481
00:31:49,993 --> 00:31:51,119
and I'm...
482
00:31:55,290 --> 00:31:56,416
"Dasil."
483
00:31:56,874 --> 00:31:57,875
Dasil.
484
00:31:58,293 --> 00:31:59,294
Basil.
485
00:32:00,545 --> 00:32:02,755
Well, Basil,
486
00:32:03,381 --> 00:32:05,061
maybe there is a simpler way
of doing this.
487
00:32:05,758 --> 00:32:07,176
Over a drink perhaps?
488
00:32:07,260 --> 00:32:09,637
Well, that would be lovely.
489
00:32:09,721 --> 00:32:14,392
Shall we say the bar at the Hotel
de Paris in Cagnes-sur-Mer? 8:00?
490
00:32:14,475 --> 00:32:16,561
Mmm. It's a date.
491
00:32:19,897 --> 00:32:21,190
(ENGLISH CHUCKLES)
492
00:32:21,941 --> 00:32:22,942
Well,
493
00:32:23,526 --> 00:32:27,697
I think my "running out of fuel"
ruse worked pretty well.
494
00:32:28,114 --> 00:32:29,324
Mmm.
495
00:32:33,077 --> 00:32:34,162
PRIME MINISTER: What?
496
00:32:34,329 --> 00:32:36,729
Er, junior doctors.
They've confirmed they are going on strike
497
00:32:36,789 --> 00:32:38,629
and the tube drivers
are coming out in support.
498
00:32:38,666 --> 00:32:41,562
Oh, God. Leader of the Opposition,
has he come round from his heart surgery?
499
00:32:41,586 --> 00:32:42,629
Yes, Prime Minister.
500
00:32:42,712 --> 00:32:45,840
Oh, Jesus Christ, when will something
go right for me? What do you want?
501
00:32:46,633 --> 00:32:48,676
They've hit us again,
Prime Minister.
502
00:32:49,218 --> 00:32:51,721
Huh? Hacked into the Central
Traffic Control System.
503
00:32:52,013 --> 00:32:55,433
Yes, they've turned every
traffic light in London to red.
504
00:32:55,558 --> 00:32:57,101
(CARS HONKING ON SCREEN)
(SIGHS)
505
00:32:58,061 --> 00:32:59,687
Where's my bloody drink?
506
00:33:00,438 --> 00:33:02,815
You've got to be joking?
Vodka tonic, no ice, no tonic.
507
00:33:02,899 --> 00:33:05,443
Yes, ma'am.
Oh, and Mr. Volta has arrived, ma'am.
508
00:33:05,526 --> 00:33:07,820
(CLEARS THROAT)
509
00:33:09,947 --> 00:33:12,575
Mr. Volta,
welcome to Downing Street.
510
00:33:12,700 --> 00:33:15,787
I have read so much
about this wonderful building.
511
00:33:15,912 --> 00:33:19,415
Is this the stone triple staircase
designed by William Kent?
512
00:33:19,540 --> 00:33:22,710
Um, yes, it probably is.
I can't swear to it.
513
00:33:22,835 --> 00:33:25,380
Can we do a quick...
XANDER: Needs Photoshop.
514
00:33:25,463 --> 00:33:27,965
Oh! (STAMMERS)
This way. Hmm.
515
00:33:28,091 --> 00:33:29,884
I am horribly late,
I do apologize.
516
00:33:30,009 --> 00:33:32,804
It's the traffic,
it's the one thing I don't love about London.
517
00:33:32,929 --> 00:33:35,348
Yes, well, I must admit
we are having a slight problem
518
00:33:35,431 --> 00:33:37,350
with the lights at the moment.
Nothing major.
519
00:33:37,475 --> 00:33:40,478
If you wanted, I could take a
look? It is kind of what I do.
520
00:33:40,561 --> 00:33:43,189
I think it's actually a little
bit more complex than...
521
00:33:43,314 --> 00:33:46,693
Xander, get a web address for
London's traffic control center.
522
00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:51,072
XANDER: Here is the login page, Jason.
Do you have a password?
523
00:33:53,533 --> 00:33:54,701
Um...
524
00:33:55,410 --> 00:33:56,786
(STAMMERS)
525
00:33:57,829 --> 00:34:00,665
I won't tell if you won't.
Right you are.
526
00:34:00,748 --> 00:34:01,874
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
527
00:34:01,958 --> 00:34:05,586
XANDER: Bypassing security.
Security bypassed. (BEEPING)
528
00:34:05,670 --> 00:34:06,671
Oh, that's terrific.
529
00:34:08,047 --> 00:34:11,217
Someone is hacking you.
Oh, I don't think so.
530
00:34:11,551 --> 00:34:15,388
Denied service attack.
Yeah, primitive but effective.
531
00:34:16,514 --> 00:34:19,892
You know what we could try,
rerouting all service requests
532
00:34:19,976 --> 00:34:22,103
to our server farm in Nevada.
533
00:34:23,104 --> 00:34:24,397
Um...
I...
534
00:34:25,648 --> 00:34:27,400
XANDER: Rerouting, Jason.
535
00:34:27,483 --> 00:34:29,235
Rerouting complete.
536
00:34:31,612 --> 00:34:33,156
(TRAFFIC MOVING)
537
00:34:33,531 --> 00:34:35,283
(GASPS) Crikey.
538
00:34:36,909 --> 00:34:39,912
So, what was it you wanted
to talk to me about?
539
00:34:40,246 --> 00:34:42,373
You, Jason.
540
00:34:43,541 --> 00:34:44,876
(MOUTHS) Get out.
541
00:34:45,001 --> 00:34:46,544
I want to talk about you.
542
00:34:53,301 --> 00:34:55,094
(BOUGH GRUNTING)
543
00:35:01,017 --> 00:35:03,895
ENGLISH: Excellent, Bough.
Nearly there.
544
00:35:04,771 --> 00:35:06,230
Nearly there.
545
00:35:06,355 --> 00:35:09,358
This is actually
a really nice hotel, Bough.
546
00:35:10,109 --> 00:35:12,987
I'm turning to the right.
547
00:35:13,112 --> 00:35:15,281
(SOFT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
548
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:29,962
Shall one of us keep Miss Bhuletova busy
while the other searches her room, sir?
549
00:35:30,171 --> 00:35:34,175
Good idea, Bough.
Alert me if you find anything.
550
00:35:36,302 --> 00:35:38,304
(CONTINUES PLAYING
SOFT JAZZ MUSIC)
551
00:35:46,270 --> 00:35:48,022
(PLAYING LIVELY TUNE)
552
00:35:51,234 --> 00:35:52,610
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
553
00:35:52,693 --> 00:35:55,238
(SOFT JAZZ MUSIC RESUMES)
554
00:35:56,322 --> 00:35:57,490
Mr. Golightly.
555
00:36:00,493 --> 00:36:01,494
Oh...
556
00:36:02,161 --> 00:36:03,204
Indeed.
557
00:36:04,205 --> 00:36:07,291
I thought perhaps you weren't coming.
On the contrary.
558
00:36:07,458 --> 00:36:10,086
Wild horses couldn't
keep me away.
559
00:36:10,837 --> 00:36:11,963
Madame? Monsieur?
560
00:36:12,505 --> 00:36:14,423
Evening. What would you like?
561
00:36:15,132 --> 00:36:18,761
I'm feeling a little homesick tonight.
I'll have a Moscow Mule.
562
00:36:22,306 --> 00:36:24,642
And I'll have a London...
563
00:36:24,976 --> 00:36:26,978
Lemming, please.
564
00:36:28,521 --> 00:36:30,356
I'm not sure, what...
565
00:36:31,649 --> 00:36:34,986
It's, uh, gin, vodka,
566
00:36:36,445 --> 00:36:37,780
Armagnac,
567
00:36:38,531 --> 00:36:39,824
sherry,
568
00:36:40,491 --> 00:36:42,994
with just a little bit
of Parmesan.
569
00:36:44,996 --> 00:36:46,080
(CHUCKLES)
570
00:36:49,166 --> 00:36:52,879
So, what brings you to the South of France,
Miss...
571
00:36:52,962 --> 00:36:54,380
Bhilli... Bholly...
572
00:36:54,463 --> 00:36:55,673
Bhuletova.
573
00:36:56,173 --> 00:36:57,550
Bhuletova.
574
00:36:57,884 --> 00:36:59,677
I'm just visiting
a friend of mine.
575
00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:00,887
Hmm.
576
00:37:03,931 --> 00:37:07,184
And would this friend
be the owner of the Dot Calm?
577
00:37:08,352 --> 00:37:09,437
Hmm.
578
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:10,730
Yes, he would.
579
00:37:11,898 --> 00:37:13,566
(WAITRESS SCREAMS)
(DISHES CLATTERING)
580
00:37:16,527 --> 00:37:18,362
And what about you,
581
00:37:18,446 --> 00:37:19,447
Basil?
582
00:37:19,614 --> 00:37:21,949
Oh, I'm just here
on business.
583
00:37:22,199 --> 00:37:25,202
Although, it's rapidly
turning into pleasure.
584
00:37:29,290 --> 00:37:31,042
Ooh! I love these.
585
00:37:36,255 --> 00:37:37,465
They're really hot.
586
00:37:41,135 --> 00:37:42,678
(GROANING)
587
00:37:46,515 --> 00:37:48,184
Are you all right?
588
00:37:48,601 --> 00:37:49,936
Yes, fine.
589
00:37:50,186 --> 00:37:52,146
(HUFFING)
590
00:37:57,610 --> 00:37:58,903
(MUMBLES)
591
00:37:58,986 --> 00:38:00,029
Hmm.
592
00:38:02,365 --> 00:38:05,117
(BOTH THANKING IN FRENCH)
593
00:38:06,494 --> 00:38:07,578
Cheers.
594
00:38:08,037 --> 00:38:11,207
I'm not sure I've ever met a
man quite like you, Basil.
595
00:38:12,208 --> 00:38:14,543
Let me clear up
the uncertainty for you.
596
00:38:15,169 --> 00:38:16,545
You haven't.
597
00:38:17,588 --> 00:38:19,090
(SLURPING)
598
00:38:25,888 --> 00:38:27,223
(CLEARS THROAT)
599
00:38:27,890 --> 00:38:28,975
(CHUCKLES)
600
00:38:30,768 --> 00:38:35,189
I'm sorry, Basil. I have to get
up really early tomorrow morning.
601
00:38:35,564 --> 00:38:37,108
Oh, that's a shame.
602
00:38:37,858 --> 00:38:39,485
(SPEAKS FRENCH)
603
00:38:47,660 --> 00:38:49,328
How did you get on, sir?
604
00:38:49,453 --> 00:38:52,123
Oh, gosh, what a wonderful
woman, Bough. Wonderful.
605
00:38:52,248 --> 00:38:53,249
Right.
606
00:38:53,374 --> 00:38:55,251
Charming. Intelligent.
607
00:38:55,334 --> 00:38:59,046
Lovely sense of humor.
And obviously entirely innocent.
608
00:38:59,171 --> 00:39:02,299
Although, I broke into her room and
she does have three passports, sir.
609
00:39:02,383 --> 00:39:05,219
Romanian, Bulgarian, Russian.
Different name in each.
610
00:39:05,845 --> 00:39:08,222
So she's been married
to three different people.
611
00:39:08,347 --> 00:39:10,349
Not unusual in this day
and age, Bough.
612
00:39:10,474 --> 00:39:13,352
And I also found some garroting
wire and two boxes of ammunition.
613
00:39:13,436 --> 00:39:18,274
Well, single woman, traveling alone,
you can't be too careful.
614
00:39:19,442 --> 00:39:22,403
You don't think
she might be a spy, sir?
615
00:39:22,862 --> 00:39:24,780
A spy? (LAUGHS)
616
00:39:25,531 --> 00:39:28,284
I think I know
what a spy looks like, Bough.
617
00:39:28,367 --> 00:39:30,036
(OPHELIA AND MAN
SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
618
00:39:52,933 --> 00:39:54,268
(SIGHS)
619
00:40:01,609 --> 00:40:02,651
(CLICKS TONGUE)
620
00:40:14,413 --> 00:40:15,748
Oh.
621
00:40:16,582 --> 00:40:17,833
(SIGHS)
622
00:40:34,809 --> 00:40:35,976
(GRUNTS)
623
00:40:38,896 --> 00:40:40,106
(DOOR BEEPS)
624
00:40:56,956 --> 00:40:58,040
(GRUNTS)
625
00:41:00,334 --> 00:41:02,294
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
626
00:41:23,524 --> 00:41:25,985
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING
IN DISTANCE)
627
00:42:20,497 --> 00:42:21,582
(GRUNTS)
628
00:42:24,585 --> 00:42:25,836
(DANCE MUSIC
CONTINUES PLAYING)
629
00:42:29,089 --> 00:42:30,382
Oh!
630
00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:50,527
(CHUCKLES)
631
00:42:59,119 --> 00:43:00,246
Ah.
632
00:43:03,791 --> 00:43:04,917
(BOTH GRUNT)
633
00:43:10,422 --> 00:43:12,049
(CHEERING)
634
00:43:18,472 --> 00:43:19,974
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
635
00:43:25,729 --> 00:43:26,730
BOUGH: Sir?
636
00:43:27,022 --> 00:43:28,023
Sir!
(MUSIC STOPS)
637
00:43:29,358 --> 00:43:31,360
I just got off the phone
to P in London.
638
00:43:31,443 --> 00:43:33,004
He's found out who the
owner of that yacht is.
639
00:43:33,028 --> 00:43:34,029
Jason Volta.
640
00:43:34,113 --> 00:43:36,323
The world's most powerful
Internet billionaire, sir!
641
00:43:36,407 --> 00:43:37,783
And he's in London,
right now.
642
00:43:37,866 --> 00:43:41,287
The Prime Minister is personally
negotiating a trade deal with him.
643
00:43:42,288 --> 00:43:43,872
Well, what are we waiting for?
644
00:43:46,709 --> 00:43:48,752
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
645
00:43:51,171 --> 00:43:52,840
(TIRES SCREECHING)
646
00:44:10,566 --> 00:44:11,692
(YELPS)
647
00:44:15,112 --> 00:44:17,948
Do you think we might
slow down a little, sir?
648
00:44:18,741 --> 00:44:19,825
What?
649
00:44:21,994 --> 00:44:23,412
Never mind!
650
00:44:29,209 --> 00:44:31,462
NEWSCASTER:
With what appears to be another cyber attack,
651
00:44:31,545 --> 00:44:32,939
pressure is mounting
on the Prime Minister.
652
00:44:32,963 --> 00:44:34,923
Every train in England?
Yes, sir.
653
00:44:35,007 --> 00:44:38,093
They're all trying to terminate
at Bristol Temple Meads.
654
00:44:38,469 --> 00:44:40,346
(VOCALIZING)
655
00:44:41,305 --> 00:44:42,348
Morning, sir!
656
00:44:42,431 --> 00:44:44,516
You see this, English?
Yes!
657
00:44:45,434 --> 00:44:46,435
Please.
658
00:44:47,227 --> 00:44:48,562
(PEGASUS CLEARS THROAT)
Ooh!
659
00:44:49,146 --> 00:44:51,607
Tell me you've got something I
can take to the Prime Minister.
660
00:44:51,690 --> 00:44:54,693
Would the name of the man
responsible do, sir?
661
00:44:55,027 --> 00:44:56,612
Excellent, English, yes.
662
00:44:57,237 --> 00:44:59,531
(SLURRING) It's Jason...
663
00:45:02,409 --> 00:45:03,952
(SNORING)
664
00:45:09,708 --> 00:45:12,169
Volta, sir. Jason Volta.
665
00:45:12,586 --> 00:45:13,587
What?
666
00:45:13,754 --> 00:45:16,340
You're accusing the PM's
knight in shining armor?
667
00:45:16,423 --> 00:45:18,258
I'd need hard evidence.
668
00:45:18,342 --> 00:45:20,469
(MUMBLING)
669
00:45:25,391 --> 00:45:26,725
(SLOWLY) Which...
670
00:45:27,476 --> 00:45:29,978
...is why Agent English
is proposing
671
00:45:30,062 --> 00:45:32,606
a penetration of Volta's
country estate in Surrey.
672
00:45:32,815 --> 00:45:37,069
(GROGGILY)
Yes, yes, yes, yes...
673
00:45:37,152 --> 00:45:39,488
Well, do what you have
to do, English.
674
00:45:39,863 --> 00:45:41,865
But for God's sake,
be discreet about it.
675
00:45:42,074 --> 00:45:44,118
Oh! Oh.
676
00:45:44,201 --> 00:45:45,244
Good.
677
00:45:45,327 --> 00:45:46,412
Oh. Oh.
678
00:45:52,668 --> 00:45:54,378
"Virtual reality"?
679
00:45:54,503 --> 00:45:55,504
That's right, sir.
680
00:45:55,587 --> 00:45:57,947
P's built a computer model of
the inside of Volta's mansion.
681
00:45:58,006 --> 00:46:02,970
When you put on this headset, it will look
and feel as if you are inside the house.
682
00:46:03,053 --> 00:46:06,515
You'll be able to open and close doors,
walk up and down staircases,
683
00:46:06,598 --> 00:46:09,393
completely familiarize
yourself with its layout.
684
00:46:09,476 --> 00:46:12,729
This floor moves in any
direction. So you can walk...
685
00:46:13,981 --> 00:46:17,401
You can walk as far as you
want in the virtual world
686
00:46:18,152 --> 00:46:20,612
without ever actually
leaving this room.
687
00:46:20,988 --> 00:46:22,030
One thing though, sir.
688
00:46:23,240 --> 00:46:24,950
The experience can be
very disorientating.
689
00:46:25,033 --> 00:46:26,243
It's completely immersive
690
00:46:26,326 --> 00:46:29,371
and some people lose all track
of their actual surroundings.
691
00:46:29,455 --> 00:46:32,666
(SCOFFS) I think we can pretty much
guarantee that's not gonna happen.
692
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:35,335
I'll just need you to sign the
health and safety releases.
693
00:46:35,669 --> 00:46:38,380
(SIGHS) Would you excuse
me while I find an iPad.
694
00:46:39,381 --> 00:46:42,676
Oh, go with him, Bough. If we don't
chivvy him along we'll be here all day.
695
00:46:45,179 --> 00:46:46,722
(SIGHS)
696
00:46:48,724 --> 00:46:49,975
Hmm.
697
00:47:10,162 --> 00:47:11,330
Ah.
698
00:47:11,747 --> 00:47:13,665
(ELECTRONIC MUSIC
PLAYING ON HEADPHONES)
699
00:47:24,259 --> 00:47:25,636
(HORN HONKING)
700
00:47:30,557 --> 00:47:32,309
(BRAKES SCREECH)
(HORN HONKING)
701
00:47:33,393 --> 00:47:34,394
MAN: Watch out!
702
00:47:36,355 --> 00:47:37,856
(HORNS HONKING)
703
00:47:39,066 --> 00:47:40,108
(RAPID BEEPING)
704
00:47:55,249 --> 00:47:56,708
(GROANS)
705
00:47:59,127 --> 00:48:00,796
(BEEPING)
706
00:48:02,673 --> 00:48:04,466
AUTOMATED VOICE: Door closing.
707
00:48:05,092 --> 00:48:06,426
Going down.
708
00:48:10,931 --> 00:48:12,099
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
709
00:48:12,182 --> 00:48:13,308
(GROANS)
710
00:48:16,728 --> 00:48:17,771
(GROANING)
711
00:48:17,896 --> 00:48:19,481
(IMITATING GUNFIRE)
712
00:48:28,574 --> 00:48:30,158
(BEEPING)
713
00:48:34,705 --> 00:48:36,081
(BRAKES SCREECH)
714
00:48:36,164 --> 00:48:37,624
(PANTING)
715
00:48:37,708 --> 00:48:39,042
(DOG WHINES)
716
00:48:41,670 --> 00:48:43,672
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
717
00:48:45,465 --> 00:48:46,675
(GRUNTS)
718
00:48:47,175 --> 00:48:48,927
(BEEPING)
719
00:48:56,435 --> 00:48:58,186
(COFFEE MACHINE WHIRRING)
720
00:49:07,154 --> 00:49:08,322
Hey!
721
00:49:08,447 --> 00:49:09,489
(GASPS)
722
00:49:09,781 --> 00:49:11,575
(GRUNTING)
723
00:49:13,243 --> 00:49:14,995
(SCREAMING)
(BRAKES SCREECH)
724
00:49:15,996 --> 00:49:17,539
(CHUCKLES)
(HORNS HONKING)
725
00:49:17,623 --> 00:49:18,999
(RAPID BEEPING)
726
00:49:23,795 --> 00:49:25,690
I'm sorry, sir,
but you're going to have to leave.
727
00:49:25,714 --> 00:49:26,757
Ow.
728
00:49:27,049 --> 00:49:28,091
Ow.
729
00:49:29,384 --> 00:49:30,802
(GRUNTING)
730
00:49:34,264 --> 00:49:35,349
(EXHALES)
731
00:49:35,432 --> 00:49:36,475
(CHUCKLES)
732
00:49:37,184 --> 00:49:38,226
(GLASS SHATTERS)
733
00:49:47,569 --> 00:49:49,071
(BELL DINGS)
734
00:49:51,740 --> 00:49:54,868
TOUR GUIDE: So,
we'll shortly be arriving at Admiralty House.
735
00:49:54,993 --> 00:49:58,914
And, er, that actually used to be
Oliver Cromwell's own house. Um...
736
00:50:00,707 --> 00:50:02,042
Uh...
737
00:50:02,167 --> 00:50:05,671
And then we'll be going
to Horse Guards Parade.
738
00:50:05,754 --> 00:50:07,381
(GRUNTING)
739
00:50:08,423 --> 00:50:10,217
Perhaps you'd like
to sit down, sir?
740
00:50:10,300 --> 00:50:11,885
(BOTH GROANING)
741
00:50:12,969 --> 00:50:14,846
MAN: Hey, whoa!
742
00:50:15,472 --> 00:50:16,973
(GRUNTING)
743
00:50:19,476 --> 00:50:20,894
I've got them!
744
00:50:21,395 --> 00:50:23,647
(BOTH GROANING)
745
00:50:25,565 --> 00:50:29,528
However, the agent we have on this mission
is confident he's making major progress.
746
00:50:29,611 --> 00:50:32,406
And, uh, yes, we have a potential suspect,
he's been identified.
747
00:50:32,906 --> 00:50:36,910
And further covert
investigations are now ongoing.
748
00:50:36,993 --> 00:50:38,120
(ALL GASP)
749
00:50:38,203 --> 00:50:39,413
Yes, quite.
750
00:50:39,663 --> 00:50:42,582
So I expect to have more
to announce on this front
751
00:50:44,334 --> 00:50:45,502
shortly.
752
00:50:50,507 --> 00:50:51,800
(BELL DINGS)
753
00:50:58,098 --> 00:50:59,266
(BEEPING)
754
00:50:59,391 --> 00:51:00,559
Oh.
755
00:51:01,435 --> 00:51:02,436
BOUGH: Sir?
756
00:51:02,519 --> 00:51:03,645
Mmm?
757
00:51:03,729 --> 00:51:06,565
Is everything all right, sir?
Yes, I've done it, Bough.
758
00:51:06,815 --> 00:51:09,568
Child's play. Don't know what
all the fuss was about.
759
00:51:12,446 --> 00:51:15,407
(SIRENS WAILING)
760
00:51:16,158 --> 00:51:17,367
(DOOR CLOSES)
761
00:51:18,160 --> 00:51:20,036
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
762
00:51:23,165 --> 00:51:25,167
Pleasure to see you again,
Prime Minister.
763
00:51:26,793 --> 00:51:29,713
(WHISPERING) It's a hologram.
Apparently you just speak to it normally.
764
00:51:31,381 --> 00:51:33,550
The pleasure's all mine.
765
00:51:33,633 --> 00:51:37,512
Hate to rush you, but was there
something in particular you needed?
766
00:51:37,596 --> 00:51:40,265
Actually, I was just calling
really to see
767
00:51:40,348 --> 00:51:44,394
if you had had a chance
to think things over.
768
00:51:44,644 --> 00:51:45,645
I have.
769
00:51:48,148 --> 00:51:51,735
But the thing is, Fiona, I just don't
really do other people's security.
770
00:51:51,818 --> 00:51:55,197
Not that I don't want to.
But your infrastructure is old.
771
00:51:55,530 --> 00:51:57,258
Plus the only way I could keep
you secure in the meantime
772
00:51:57,282 --> 00:52:00,827
would be by storing all your
data on my own servers.
773
00:52:00,911 --> 00:52:03,038
Obviously, that would be...
Yes. Jason,
774
00:52:03,121 --> 00:52:07,083
what I really want to do is announce
this tie-up at the G12 meeting.
775
00:52:07,959 --> 00:52:10,295
Do we have a deal?
776
00:52:10,378 --> 00:52:11,671
(LAUGHS)
777
00:52:19,471 --> 00:52:21,139
BOUGH: Good luck, sir.
778
00:52:39,825 --> 00:52:40,826
JASON: Hey.
779
00:52:40,992 --> 00:52:41,993
MAN: Sir?
780
00:52:42,077 --> 00:52:44,579
I said to get the chopper ready.
Right there.
781
00:52:44,663 --> 00:52:45,872
MAN: Sir. Right away, sir.
782
00:52:46,039 --> 00:52:47,249
Thank you.
783
00:52:47,457 --> 00:52:49,042
MAN: Tyler, come in.
TYLER: Copy.
784
00:52:49,459 --> 00:52:51,419
MAN: Tyler, can you prepare
the chopper now?
785
00:52:51,545 --> 00:52:54,339
TYLER: We'll have everything ready
for you in a couple of minutes.
786
00:52:58,385 --> 00:52:59,469
(CLATTERS)
787
00:53:24,244 --> 00:53:25,579
(CHUCKLES)
788
00:53:25,662 --> 00:53:28,665
We can't keep meeting
like this, Mr. Golightly.
789
00:53:28,748 --> 00:53:30,083
Oh, yes.
790
00:53:30,166 --> 00:53:33,128
Or do you want to end this charade
and tell me your real name?
791
00:53:33,420 --> 00:53:34,963
(DOOR OPENS)
Go.
792
00:53:35,422 --> 00:53:37,424
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
793
00:53:37,883 --> 00:53:41,761
There's so much you don't understand
about this world you've got caught up in.
794
00:53:42,846 --> 00:53:46,224
Spare me the idiot act.
You're British Secret Service.
795
00:53:47,434 --> 00:53:51,187
Impressive work in France, by the way.
When did you realize I was a spy, too?
796
00:53:52,689 --> 00:53:55,984
Oh, pretty much straight away.
797
00:53:56,860 --> 00:53:57,903
Hmm.
798
00:54:00,280 --> 00:54:04,284
I've spent two years undercover.
Simple operation until you showed up.
799
00:54:04,492 --> 00:54:06,244
And I like
to keep things simple.
800
00:54:07,120 --> 00:54:08,997
"Simple" is my middle name.
801
00:54:10,206 --> 00:54:11,374
(DOOR OPENS)
(GASPS)
802
00:54:11,458 --> 00:54:12,667
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
803
00:54:13,251 --> 00:54:15,128
It would seem you've got
a choice to make.
804
00:54:17,756 --> 00:54:21,676
Temporary suspension of hostilities?
A short-term partnership?
805
00:54:22,844 --> 00:54:24,012
Agreed.
Hmm.
806
00:54:26,681 --> 00:54:27,849
(GROANS)
807
00:54:30,644 --> 00:54:31,811
Hmm.
808
00:54:31,978 --> 00:54:34,940
JASON: Politicians are even more
gullible than venture capitalists.
809
00:54:35,023 --> 00:54:36,024
XANDER: That is correct.
810
00:54:36,107 --> 00:54:37,387
Get me a copy
of the target list.
811
00:54:37,651 --> 00:54:39,986
We'll hit them once more
just to be on the safe side.
812
00:54:40,528 --> 00:54:43,657
Give me your phone.
You don't have a phone?
813
00:54:43,782 --> 00:54:46,159
A phone will give anyone
your precise location.
814
00:54:46,242 --> 00:54:48,912
And yet they're so useful
for making phone calls.
815
00:54:48,995 --> 00:54:51,373
JASON: Excellent.
I'm not phoning anyone.
816
00:54:52,123 --> 00:54:55,043
I'm gathering evidence.
817
00:54:56,920 --> 00:55:00,757
XANDER: The target list, Jason.
Four iconic central London landmarks.
818
00:55:00,882 --> 00:55:02,968
Make your selection.
Number three.
819
00:55:03,093 --> 00:55:04,928
XANDER: The London Eye.
820
00:55:06,179 --> 00:55:11,393
This cyber attack could potentially
impact 16,000 visitors.
821
00:55:11,476 --> 00:55:13,645
(POP SONG PLAYING LOUDLY
ON CELL PHONE)
822
00:55:16,731 --> 00:55:19,234
I found him snooping
around upstairs.
823
00:55:20,318 --> 00:55:22,237
And who are you exactly?
824
00:55:22,362 --> 00:55:23,822
I'm not telling you anything.
825
00:55:23,905 --> 00:55:24,948
Hmm.
826
00:55:25,991 --> 00:55:28,159
XANDER: Face recognition
software launched.
827
00:55:28,493 --> 00:55:31,955
Johnny English is a geography
teacher from Lincolnshire.
828
00:55:32,414 --> 00:55:36,251
Rather heavily armed for a lesson
on European capitals, Mr. English.
829
00:55:36,334 --> 00:55:37,377
(CHUCKLES)
830
00:55:38,753 --> 00:55:39,963
Any thoughts, sweetheart?
831
00:55:40,964 --> 00:55:42,882
He's British Intelligence.
832
00:55:42,966 --> 00:55:44,092
(JASON CHUCKLES)
833
00:55:44,175 --> 00:55:46,344
And there you have it,
two words that have
834
00:55:46,428 --> 00:55:49,347
no right being
in the same sentence together.
835
00:55:49,723 --> 00:55:52,726
(CHUCKLES) Do you really think
I came here alone?
836
00:55:53,101 --> 00:55:56,396
I have a team of crack operatives out there,
right now,
837
00:55:56,479 --> 00:55:57,981
just waiting to strike.
838
00:55:58,064 --> 00:55:59,357
Uh-huh.
839
00:56:00,650 --> 00:56:02,193
(BEEPS)
840
00:56:02,360 --> 00:56:04,362
(BOUGH PANTING)
(DOG BARKING)
841
00:56:04,446 --> 00:56:05,488
Sir!
842
00:56:05,572 --> 00:56:07,741
(LAUGHING)
843
00:56:08,700 --> 00:56:10,994
What has happened
to this country?
844
00:56:11,119 --> 00:56:13,830
How is it possible
that less than a century ago
845
00:56:13,913 --> 00:56:16,916
the British Empire
ruled a quarter of the globe
846
00:56:17,042 --> 00:56:20,628
and now it's relying
on someone
847
00:56:21,796 --> 00:56:24,215
like you? (LAUGHS)
848
00:56:28,762 --> 00:56:29,804
Hey! Stop!
849
00:56:31,139 --> 00:56:32,140
Stop him?
850
00:56:33,892 --> 00:56:35,810
(GRUNTS)
(DOOR BEEPS)
851
00:56:38,229 --> 00:56:39,314
(CHUCKLES)
852
00:56:46,071 --> 00:56:47,072
Go.
853
00:56:55,538 --> 00:56:56,956
Close the gates.
MAN: Yes, sir.
854
00:56:59,542 --> 00:57:00,752
(LAUGHS)
855
00:57:05,548 --> 00:57:06,758
(GATES CLOSE)
856
00:57:07,842 --> 00:57:09,177
Help! Stop!
857
00:57:09,260 --> 00:57:11,638
Obstacle directly ahead,
Mrs. Trattner.
858
00:57:11,763 --> 00:57:15,683
Check your mirrors
and bring the car to a stop.
859
00:57:18,019 --> 00:57:19,729
Er, excuse me. Hey.
860
00:57:19,854 --> 00:57:21,648
(STAMMERS)
861
00:57:21,731 --> 00:57:22,732
Thank you.
(GRUNTS)
862
00:57:26,319 --> 00:57:27,320
Drive!
863
00:57:28,404 --> 00:57:29,531
(WHIMPERS)
864
00:57:29,614 --> 00:57:30,615
Excuse me.
865
00:57:30,698 --> 00:57:32,510
MRS. TRATTNER: What...
What do you think you're doing?
866
00:57:32,534 --> 00:57:35,120
INSTRUCTOR: Excuse me!
You are not a qualified instructor.
867
00:57:36,162 --> 00:57:37,705
(SCREAMING)
868
00:57:44,295 --> 00:57:46,548
But what about my instructor?
Turn left.
869
00:57:46,631 --> 00:57:47,674
Oh.
870
00:57:48,550 --> 00:57:49,592
Turn right.
871
00:57:54,013 --> 00:57:56,558
For future reference,
I'm on your left.
872
00:57:56,891 --> 00:58:00,395
Please, stop.
I can't do this anymore!
873
00:58:02,856 --> 00:58:04,357
(WHIMPERING)
874
00:58:04,774 --> 00:58:06,359
I can't see anything now!
875
00:58:06,860 --> 00:58:07,861
Good.
876
00:58:19,539 --> 00:58:21,499
When I say "go,"
turn sharp right.
877
00:58:21,583 --> 00:58:22,792
Uh-huh.
878
00:58:26,588 --> 00:58:28,840
Three, two, one.
879
00:58:29,340 --> 00:58:30,341
Go!
880
00:58:30,717 --> 00:58:33,094
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(WHIMPERING)
881
00:58:33,595 --> 00:58:35,513
And straighten up,
straighten up, straighten up.
882
00:58:35,597 --> 00:58:36,806
And go!
883
00:58:37,599 --> 00:58:38,600
Let's go, let's go.
884
00:58:41,227 --> 00:58:42,562
(SCOFFS)
885
00:58:47,400 --> 00:58:49,319
Oh, now just bear left
a little. Good.
886
00:58:49,736 --> 00:58:51,112
Straighten up, straighten up.
887
00:58:55,575 --> 00:58:56,576
Good!
888
00:59:00,705 --> 00:59:02,999
Well, that was
very good, Mrs. Trattner.
889
00:59:03,166 --> 00:59:04,667
(MRS. TRATTNER WHIMPERING)
890
00:59:05,752 --> 00:59:07,962
I think you made
some real progress today.
891
00:59:09,547 --> 00:59:11,066
PEGASUS: You're
not hearing me, English.
892
00:59:11,090 --> 00:59:14,153
Given the Prime Minister's new friendship
with Volta, the situation has changed.
893
00:59:14,177 --> 00:59:18,806
But the facts haven't, sir.
That attack is Volta's responsibility.
894
00:59:18,890 --> 00:59:21,351
According to you, but not
according to anyone else.
895
00:59:21,434 --> 00:59:22,852
PRIME MINISTER:
Is he here yet?
896
00:59:23,478 --> 00:59:25,855
Good afternoon, Prime Minister.
So, this is, uh...
897
00:59:26,105 --> 00:59:28,900
English, Prime Minister.
Johnny English.
898
00:59:29,192 --> 00:59:31,694
What exactly do you have
to say for yourself?
899
00:59:31,986 --> 00:59:33,738
Rather a lot, actually.
900
00:59:34,030 --> 00:59:37,617
However, men like me don't deal
in prevarication, Prime Minister,
901
00:59:37,700 --> 00:59:39,369
so let me get
straight to the point.
902
00:59:39,452 --> 00:59:42,705
Jason Volta is the man
behind these attacks.
903
00:59:42,789 --> 00:59:45,375
And I have the evidence
to prove it.
904
00:59:46,417 --> 00:59:50,129
I managed to record this
inside Volta's country lair.
905
00:59:50,255 --> 00:59:51,756
But I should warn you,
Prime Minister,
906
00:59:51,881 --> 00:59:55,802
that what you're about to see
is evil incarnate.
907
00:59:57,804 --> 00:59:59,013
Hmm.
908
01:00:01,224 --> 01:00:04,185
Here we are
at Fifi's third birthday!
909
01:00:04,269 --> 01:00:06,521
And it's a very exciting day!
910
01:00:06,604 --> 01:00:08,022
(GUESTS LAUGHING)
911
01:00:08,314 --> 01:00:11,067
ALL: Hip hip, hooray!
Hip hip, hooray!
912
01:00:12,110 --> 01:00:15,280
ALL: (SINGING)
Happy birthday to you
913
01:00:16,447 --> 01:00:20,285
Happy birthday to you
914
01:00:20,368 --> 01:00:21,577
(VIDEO STOPS)
915
01:00:21,661 --> 01:00:22,662
Thank you.
916
01:00:23,121 --> 01:00:25,540
Can I just ask,
what is wrong with you?
917
01:00:26,833 --> 01:00:29,210
The country is in a state
of complete chaos.
918
01:00:29,294 --> 01:00:30,461
The press is wetting itself,
919
01:00:30,545 --> 01:00:32,505
and the only person
capable of saving us
920
01:00:32,588 --> 01:00:34,841
is the man you're accusing
of high treason.
921
01:00:35,800 --> 01:00:39,095
I was in the room myself when he
gave the order, Prime Minister!
922
01:00:39,220 --> 01:00:40,430
But there was a...
923
01:00:40,513 --> 01:00:42,199
Do you know what I was
in the room with, English?
924
01:00:42,223 --> 01:00:43,909
Your file, which I've read,
in its entirety,
925
01:00:43,933 --> 01:00:45,013
and I have a few questions.
926
01:00:45,101 --> 01:00:46,644
Did you or did you not burn
927
01:00:46,728 --> 01:00:49,188
the Cote de Roc restaurant in
Antibes to the ground?
928
01:00:49,272 --> 01:00:50,356
Um...
929
01:00:50,440 --> 01:00:52,817
And did you or did you
not fire a guided missile
930
01:00:52,942 --> 01:00:54,569
at a peloton
of French cyclists?
931
01:00:55,111 --> 01:00:56,112
Well...
932
01:00:56,237 --> 01:00:57,655
Before commandeering
an open-top bus
933
01:00:57,780 --> 01:00:59,907
and tossing the tour guide
off the top deck,
934
01:01:00,033 --> 01:01:02,344
and then assaulting an 82-year-old
grandmother in a sandwich shop
935
01:01:02,368 --> 01:01:04,620
before battering the employee
of said sandwich shop
936
01:01:04,704 --> 01:01:06,622
with two organic
sourdough baguettes?
937
01:01:07,749 --> 01:01:09,500
Uh, I don't remember the...
938
01:01:09,625 --> 01:01:12,712
Do you have any idea
how hard it is to be me?
939
01:01:14,297 --> 01:01:15,923
Uh...
PRIME MINISTER: Hmm?
940
01:01:16,841 --> 01:01:18,843
Do you have even
the foggiest notion
941
01:01:18,968 --> 01:01:22,472
of how virtually impossible
it is to get anything done
942
01:01:22,597 --> 01:01:27,268
in the face of events
and facts and voters
943
01:01:27,393 --> 01:01:30,521
and that tsunami of tosspots
we call "the national press"?
944
01:01:30,646 --> 01:01:33,983
Finally I get the chance to do
something good for my country,
945
01:01:34,067 --> 01:01:35,318
and what happens?
946
01:01:35,443 --> 01:01:38,029
The universe sends me you.
947
01:01:39,781 --> 01:01:41,324
Well, do you know what I say?
948
01:01:41,407 --> 01:01:44,327
I say, up the universe's arse!
949
01:01:44,452 --> 01:01:46,496
And do you know what else I say?
You're fired.
950
01:01:46,579 --> 01:01:48,623
With immediate effect.
Now get out!
951
01:01:48,998 --> 01:01:53,044
And make sure I never clap eyes
on that imbecile ever again!
952
01:01:53,169 --> 01:01:55,171
(FOOTSTEPS RECEDING)
953
01:02:02,220 --> 01:02:03,679
(KEYS JANGLING)
954
01:02:09,227 --> 01:02:10,561
(SIGHS)
955
01:02:19,195 --> 01:02:21,072
(ENGINE STALLING)
956
01:02:27,829 --> 01:02:29,622
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
957
01:02:35,002 --> 01:02:36,838
BOUGH: What
are you doing, sir?
958
01:02:37,922 --> 01:02:41,050
What do you think I'm doing,
Bough? I'm going home.
959
01:02:41,426 --> 01:02:43,845
But the Prime Minister is
finalizing her deal with Volta.
960
01:02:43,970 --> 01:02:47,223
She's taking him to the G12 Summit
in Scotland as her special guest.
961
01:02:47,348 --> 01:02:51,352
It's over, Bough. And there's
absolutely nothing we can do about it.
962
01:02:52,061 --> 01:02:54,730
But, sir, I have a plan.
963
01:02:55,106 --> 01:02:56,899
Remember my wife?
964
01:03:05,783 --> 01:03:07,076
Clear your baffles.
965
01:03:07,785 --> 01:03:09,579
(MOUTHS) What?
Mind your head, sir.
966
01:03:09,662 --> 01:03:10,746
Ow!
967
01:03:13,833 --> 01:03:15,084
This says we're sinking.
968
01:03:18,754 --> 01:03:23,634
She's old and a little rusty, but she can
put on a hell of a fireworks display.
969
01:03:40,526 --> 01:03:42,320
Excellent work, Commander.
970
01:03:42,612 --> 01:03:45,406
Jeremy has always spoken very
highly of you, Agent English.
971
01:03:46,574 --> 01:03:47,575
Who?
972
01:03:49,494 --> 01:03:50,661
Oh.
973
01:03:50,745 --> 01:03:52,413
Oh, yes, yes.
974
01:03:54,290 --> 01:03:56,417
I'm no fan of the pen pushers myself,
so
975
01:03:56,501 --> 01:03:58,520
when orders came through
stationing us here for the Summit,
976
01:03:58,544 --> 01:04:00,963
well,
I thought a lift was the least I could do.
977
01:04:01,297 --> 01:04:03,216
Right, let's get
a move on, Bough.
978
01:04:04,634 --> 01:04:06,445
Oh, if you wouldn't mind
keeping your mobiles off
979
01:04:06,469 --> 01:04:07,829
until you're well clear,
gentlemen.
980
01:04:07,887 --> 01:04:10,389
The launch systems on the
missiles are a bit 1980s.
981
01:04:10,473 --> 01:04:13,226
Gets a tad twitchy
around microwave radiation.
982
01:04:13,351 --> 01:04:17,355
No problem there, Commander.
We're doing this mission old-school.
983
01:04:23,319 --> 01:04:24,820
(GRAPPLE GUN FIRES)
984
01:04:27,490 --> 01:04:29,158
This spot is perfect.
985
01:04:30,743 --> 01:04:32,078
Come on.
986
01:04:33,496 --> 01:04:35,289
(STRAINING)
987
01:04:41,754 --> 01:04:43,756
(PANTING)
988
01:04:44,465 --> 01:04:46,133
(YELPING)
989
01:04:47,593 --> 01:04:48,594
(WHISPERS) Sorry, sir.
990
01:04:48,678 --> 01:04:50,137
Come on, come on...
991
01:04:52,014 --> 01:04:53,766
Right, Bough.
Our mission here is simple.
992
01:04:53,933 --> 01:04:57,311
Gain access to Volta's bedroom
and take him out.
993
01:04:57,728 --> 01:04:59,808
BOUGH: How are you going to get up there,
though, sir?
994
01:05:00,064 --> 01:05:03,359
A walk in the park
for the exoskeleton.
995
01:05:09,824 --> 01:05:12,868
ENGLISH: Remotely operated
neoprene bodysuit.
996
01:05:12,994 --> 01:05:15,913
Increases the wearer's
strength 100 times.
997
01:05:16,289 --> 01:05:19,584
Right, power it up.
Stick in the floppy disk and let's go.
998
01:05:23,254 --> 01:05:24,672
(BEEPING)
999
01:05:27,883 --> 01:05:28,884
Just...
1000
01:05:45,359 --> 01:05:46,569
Crikey, sir!
1001
01:06:03,002 --> 01:06:04,837
JASON: When will
the weapon be ready?
1002
01:06:04,962 --> 01:06:08,591
XANDER: As soon as the Prime Minister
signs the agreement, tonight.
1003
01:06:08,716 --> 01:06:10,051
JASON: How do I fire it?
1004
01:06:10,176 --> 01:06:12,762
Press once and the attack
is launched.
1005
01:06:13,012 --> 01:06:16,474
After which, the data
of every G12 country
1006
01:06:16,599 --> 01:06:20,102
will be transferred to the
servers onboard the Dot Calm.
1007
01:06:20,186 --> 01:06:21,187
JASON: Perfect.
1008
01:06:22,855 --> 01:06:23,939
Ah.
1009
01:06:25,358 --> 01:06:26,359
Cheers.
1010
01:06:31,572 --> 01:06:33,407
(EXHALES)
1011
01:06:34,784 --> 01:06:38,079
You're working for Russian Intelligence
and you have been from the start.
1012
01:06:38,579 --> 01:06:41,379
Which is why I've taken an antidote
to the poison you keep in your ring,
1013
01:06:41,415 --> 01:06:43,084
and which you've poured
into this drink.
1014
01:06:44,835 --> 01:06:47,129
And removed the firing pin
from that pistol.
1015
01:06:48,464 --> 01:06:49,590
(GUN CLICKING)
1016
01:06:52,677 --> 01:06:54,136
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
1017
01:06:55,971 --> 01:06:57,932
Everyone has to make a life
for themselves.
1018
01:06:58,224 --> 01:07:00,351
It's just sad that yours is
1019
01:07:01,435 --> 01:07:02,478
over.
1020
01:07:02,561 --> 01:07:03,646
Hmm.
1021
01:07:03,729 --> 01:07:07,024
Fresh from my 3D printer.
Hundred percent plastic.
1022
01:07:10,236 --> 01:07:11,904
And 100% deadly.
1023
01:07:13,072 --> 01:07:14,990
Killing me won't save you.
(JASON CHUCKLES)
1024
01:07:15,908 --> 01:07:16,909
Don't bet on it.
1025
01:07:18,202 --> 01:07:20,079
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
1026
01:07:21,664 --> 01:07:24,041
Seriously,
this cannot be happening.
1027
01:07:24,250 --> 01:07:26,127
Oh, but it is.
1028
01:07:27,169 --> 01:07:28,337
Drop the gun.
1029
01:07:29,255 --> 01:07:30,589
Get your hands in the air.
1030
01:07:31,549 --> 01:07:32,550
And you.
1031
01:07:40,641 --> 01:07:41,934
There's no time
for this, Johnny.
1032
01:07:42,810 --> 01:07:44,270
Oh, it isn't possible.
1033
01:07:44,353 --> 01:07:47,106
You cannot be working
with this English idiot!
1034
01:07:47,189 --> 01:07:50,609
Save the pillow talk
for your prison cell, Volta.
1035
01:07:50,943 --> 01:07:54,780
Are you inside, sir?
Yes, yes, Bough, you can power down.
1036
01:07:55,156 --> 01:07:56,991
Everything is under control.
1037
01:07:57,950 --> 01:07:59,285
Shut down.
(BEEPS)
1038
01:07:59,368 --> 01:08:00,453
(POWERING DOWN)
1039
01:08:00,745 --> 01:08:01,912
(SCREAMING)
1040
01:08:04,498 --> 01:08:05,875
(CONTINUES SCREAMING)
1041
01:08:15,551 --> 01:08:17,261
(GRUNTING)
1042
01:08:23,851 --> 01:08:26,270
REPORTER: An historic venue
for an historic meeting.
1043
01:08:26,353 --> 01:08:30,274
The delegates from each G12 member
nation will have their own priorities...
1044
01:08:30,399 --> 01:08:32,318
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
1045
01:08:39,867 --> 01:08:41,368
(SHIVERING)
1046
01:08:41,619 --> 01:08:43,162
How do we get in now, sir?
1047
01:08:43,370 --> 01:08:45,206
(TEETH CHATTERING)
1048
01:08:46,499 --> 01:08:48,667
(BAGPIPES PLAYING)
1049
01:08:51,921 --> 01:08:53,589
(STAMMERS) What's the plan?
1050
01:08:55,591 --> 01:08:57,218
(BAND PLAYING FOLK MUSIC)
1051
01:09:05,434 --> 01:09:07,520
(PLAYING OFF-KEY)
1052
01:09:28,666 --> 01:09:30,084
GUARD: Hey, you!
1053
01:09:30,751 --> 01:09:31,836
Hey!
1054
01:09:44,640 --> 01:09:46,267
(REPORTERS CLAMORING)
1055
01:09:47,893 --> 01:09:50,688
Thank you very much.
I hope you have everything you need.
1056
01:10:07,580 --> 01:10:08,789
ENGLISH: Ow!
1057
01:10:09,039 --> 01:10:10,583
On behalf
of the United Kingdom,
1058
01:10:10,708 --> 01:10:14,253
may I welcome you here today to
this ancient meeting chamber
1059
01:10:14,378 --> 01:10:16,672
where the great Scottish clans
1060
01:10:16,797 --> 01:10:20,551
once settled their differences
and forged new alliances.
1061
01:10:21,302 --> 01:10:23,512
A place I have
specifically chosen
1062
01:10:23,596 --> 01:10:26,807
in order to make
a very special announcement.
1063
01:10:27,808 --> 01:10:28,809
(ENGLISH GROANING)
Sir?
1064
01:10:30,102 --> 01:10:34,064
Are you all right, sir? ENGLISH: No,
I'm not all right. Get me up, Bough.
1065
01:10:34,148 --> 01:10:36,400
(BOTH GRUNTING)
1066
01:10:37,776 --> 01:10:41,322
It's very heavy, sir.
I know how heavy it is, Bough.
1067
01:10:44,241 --> 01:10:45,951
We've got to get
to the conference...
1068
01:10:47,870 --> 01:10:50,080
To the conference room
before Volta...
1069
01:10:51,790 --> 01:10:54,001
Before Volta triggers
his weapon.
1070
01:10:55,544 --> 01:10:59,340
And so, with my signature
on this agreement...
1071
01:11:01,050 --> 01:11:03,135
...it gives me
great pleasure, oh,
1072
01:11:03,218 --> 01:11:07,932
to welcome to you my guest,
my friend, Jason Volta.
1073
01:11:10,851 --> 01:11:14,188
XANDER: (IN EARPIECE) Standing
by to launch attack, Jason.
1074
01:11:14,480 --> 01:11:16,649
Damn it, get me out of this stuff.
Johnny?
1075
01:11:16,774 --> 01:11:18,877
BOUGH: I can't see the join, sir.
ENGLISH: It's the clasp.
1076
01:11:18,901 --> 01:11:21,862
Release the clasp and the
top and the bottom separate.
1077
01:11:23,822 --> 01:11:25,783
BOUGH: Must have jammed
when you fell over, sir.
1078
01:11:25,950 --> 01:11:27,993
For goodness sake.
Wait. Try this.
1079
01:11:31,372 --> 01:11:33,040
(OIL SQUIRTING)
1080
01:11:34,875 --> 01:11:36,877
That is quite
a lot of oil, sir.
1081
01:11:37,962 --> 01:11:40,381
Oh, come on!
Come on, come on...
1082
01:11:41,507 --> 01:11:45,219
Can you imagine what the world would
look like if it was run by Apple?
1083
01:11:46,679 --> 01:11:49,098
Or Google? Or...
1084
01:11:49,640 --> 01:11:50,724
Me?
1085
01:11:50,933 --> 01:11:52,935
(CHUCKLING)
(SHUSHES)
1086
01:11:53,978 --> 01:11:56,063
Do you think
you'd have failing schools?
1087
01:11:56,814 --> 01:11:59,149
Do you think you'd have endless
waiting in your hospitals?
1088
01:11:59,233 --> 01:12:00,234
No.
1089
01:12:00,317 --> 01:12:03,070
Think you'd have such long
lines in your airports?
1090
01:12:03,195 --> 01:12:04,738
No.
PRIME MINISTER: No.
1091
01:12:05,072 --> 01:12:09,493
No, because all of these are
simple data management problems.
1092
01:12:09,618 --> 01:12:12,287
And people like me,
we love data.
1093
01:12:13,038 --> 01:12:15,708
We live for data.
1094
01:12:16,125 --> 01:12:17,835
ENGLISH: Ha!
My...
1095
01:12:17,960 --> 01:12:20,295
Do you know
what I live for, Volta?
1096
01:12:20,379 --> 01:12:21,439
(PEOPLE MURMURING)
PRIME MINISTER: God.
1097
01:12:21,463 --> 01:12:26,844
Eliminating the threat that lying
villains like you pose to this country.
1098
01:12:27,136 --> 01:12:28,345
Oh, for God's sake.
1099
01:12:28,637 --> 01:12:30,180
Who is he?
(MURMURING CONTINUES)
1100
01:12:30,347 --> 01:12:31,765
Arrest this whack job.
1101
01:12:31,890 --> 01:12:34,977
The only person ordering an
arrest around here will be me.
1102
01:12:35,769 --> 01:12:38,147
There's no cause for concern,
ladies and gentlemen,
1103
01:12:38,272 --> 01:12:42,943
you are now in the capable hands
of Her Majesty's Secret Service.
1104
01:12:43,277 --> 01:12:47,948
And you, my friend, are in for
an uncomfortable ride.
1105
01:12:48,240 --> 01:12:49,408
(GASPS)
1106
01:12:53,203 --> 01:12:54,705
(ENGLISH SCREAMING)
1107
01:12:56,582 --> 01:12:59,668
(ARMOR CLATTERING)
1108
01:12:59,752 --> 01:13:01,587
(CRASHING)
(OBJECTS CLATTERING)
1109
01:13:04,465 --> 01:13:05,799
Where was I?
1110
01:13:07,259 --> 01:13:09,011
Living for data.
1111
01:13:09,386 --> 01:13:10,471
Exactly.
1112
01:13:11,805 --> 01:13:16,810
My algorithms can solve every one of your
problems as long as I have one thing.
1113
01:13:16,894 --> 01:13:17,978
Control.
1114
01:13:18,645 --> 01:13:21,982
And that is what you are about
to give me now.
1115
01:13:22,608 --> 01:13:24,777
Jason, I wonder
if you could just clarify...
1116
01:13:24,860 --> 01:13:25,944
Shut up.
1117
01:13:26,487 --> 01:13:27,738
(ALL PROTESTING)
Now, hold on.
1118
01:13:29,073 --> 01:13:30,741
XANDER: Castle now locked down
1119
01:13:31,784 --> 01:13:34,036
and under your control, Jason.
1120
01:13:35,996 --> 01:13:38,415
The agreement this ignoramus
just signed
1121
01:13:38,499 --> 01:13:41,168
didn't just give me access
to all the UK's data.
1122
01:13:41,293 --> 01:13:45,255
It also gave me access to a junction box,
in North Ayrshire
1123
01:13:45,380 --> 01:13:47,925
that connects
the entire World Wide Web.
1124
01:13:48,217 --> 01:13:53,889
Disable the fiber-optic cables in that
box and the Internet will cease to exist.
1125
01:13:55,182 --> 01:13:57,768
(ENGLISH GROANING)
OPHELIA: Johnny? Are you okay?
1126
01:13:58,685 --> 01:14:00,646
(BOTH GRUNTING)
1127
01:14:05,109 --> 01:14:07,945
Have you got a phone?
We need to call for backup.
1128
01:14:08,028 --> 01:14:10,989
There's no time for backup.
I'm going after Volta.
1129
01:14:11,073 --> 01:14:12,783
And don't lose that one!
1130
01:14:13,826 --> 01:14:17,746
Do you understand what it means
if I turn the Internet off?
1131
01:14:17,955 --> 01:14:22,292
Cities will go dark.
Planes will fall out of the sky.
1132
01:14:23,001 --> 01:14:26,463
Trains will collide.
Law and order will break down
1133
01:14:26,547 --> 01:14:29,424
and the world as you know it
will be over.
1134
01:14:30,134 --> 01:14:32,761
Show, don't tell, right?
1135
01:14:35,139 --> 01:14:36,473
(BEEPS)
1136
01:14:36,557 --> 01:14:38,559
XANDER:
Initiating attack, Jason.
1137
01:14:39,476 --> 01:14:41,478
Taking control
of junction box.
1138
01:14:42,604 --> 01:14:47,484
Suspending Internet and electricity
supply across Britain and Europe.
1139
01:14:48,527 --> 01:14:50,946
Stage one of attack complete.
(ALL GASP)
1140
01:14:51,446 --> 01:14:54,741
Ladies and gentlemen.
I can stop the attack
1141
01:14:54,825 --> 01:14:58,328
as long as each of you signs the same
agreement as the Prime Minister,
1142
01:14:58,412 --> 01:15:00,414
giving me complete control.
1143
01:15:01,331 --> 01:15:02,749
Your call.
1144
01:15:03,584 --> 01:15:06,378
AUTOMATED VOICE: Welcome to British
Intelligence. Get me Pegasus!
1145
01:15:06,795 --> 01:15:10,549
For MI5, press one.
For MI6, press two.
1146
01:15:10,966 --> 01:15:13,302
(SIGHS)
For MI7, press three.
1147
01:15:15,262 --> 01:15:16,430
(TRILLING)
1148
01:15:19,892 --> 01:15:23,061
XANDER: Eight G12 signatures
now acquired.
1149
01:15:24,104 --> 01:15:26,690
Signal the chopper,
we're almost done here.
1150
01:15:27,107 --> 01:15:28,901
AUTOMATED VOICE:
For accounts, press five.
1151
01:15:28,984 --> 01:15:31,320
For childcare services, press six.
Oh, come on!
1152
01:15:31,445 --> 01:15:33,780
For more options, press seven.
1153
01:15:34,281 --> 01:15:35,991
(ALARM BLARING)
1154
01:15:36,325 --> 01:15:37,326
LYDIA: What?
1155
01:15:38,744 --> 01:15:43,916
XANDER: Only two further signatures required
to achieve control of G12 nations' data.
1156
01:15:44,750 --> 01:15:46,168
All UK data
1157
01:15:46,251 --> 01:15:49,046
now successfully transferred to the Dot Calm.
(SIGHS)
1158
01:15:49,171 --> 01:15:52,674
AUTOMATED VOICE: For Aphrodite, press one.
For Pegasus, press two.
1159
01:15:53,759 --> 01:15:55,135
(ALARM BLARING)
1160
01:15:55,219 --> 01:15:56,220
Oh, my God.
1161
01:15:56,303 --> 01:16:00,015
Dive the submarine.
Repeat, dive the submarine.
1162
01:16:00,140 --> 01:16:02,100
(PHONE RINGING)
1163
01:16:02,809 --> 01:16:04,937
Director's office?
This is Johnny English.
1164
01:16:05,062 --> 01:16:09,274
I need to speak to Pegasus immediately.
It's a national emergency.
1165
01:16:09,399 --> 01:16:10,959
(PHONE RINGING)
One moment, please, sir.
1166
01:16:12,861 --> 01:16:14,005
LYDIA: This is HMS Vengeance.
1167
01:16:14,029 --> 01:16:17,658
We have a full launch code.
Repeat, launch code is locked.
1168
01:16:17,783 --> 01:16:19,785
Do I have your permission
to fire?
1169
01:16:19,910 --> 01:16:22,246
Oh, my God. Could you hold on
one moment, please?
1170
01:16:22,371 --> 01:16:24,122
Sir? Sir!
1171
01:16:25,082 --> 01:16:26,083
Hello?
1172
01:16:26,333 --> 01:16:27,334
Hello?
1173
01:16:27,417 --> 01:16:30,545
Sir! HMS Vengeance here.
Do I have your permission to launch?
1174
01:16:30,671 --> 01:16:33,590
ENGLISH: What?
Listen, we have to call in an attack.
1175
01:16:33,674 --> 01:16:34,984
LYDIA: Did you say
"attack," sir?
1176
01:16:35,008 --> 01:16:37,344
ENGLISH:
Yes, an attack. Attack.
1177
01:16:38,720 --> 01:16:41,390
General quarters,
we are go for launch.
1178
01:16:41,515 --> 01:16:43,433
Target coordinates locked,
Commander.
1179
01:16:43,558 --> 01:16:44,559
Hello?
1180
01:16:46,478 --> 01:16:47,521
Hello?
1181
01:16:47,604 --> 01:16:49,064
(ALARM BLARING)
1182
01:16:49,189 --> 01:16:50,440
(GASPS)
1183
01:16:57,948 --> 01:17:00,492
SAILOR: Commander,
the missile is being redirected.
1184
01:17:01,326 --> 01:17:03,996
It seems to be locking on
to a new hostile target.
1185
01:17:06,623 --> 01:17:08,000
What's a "Sherbet F"?
1186
01:17:08,125 --> 01:17:09,418
(BEEPING)
1187
01:17:19,303 --> 01:17:21,430
Oh, no. What was that?
(ALL GASP)
1188
01:17:21,513 --> 01:17:22,889
(PANICKED CHATTER)
1189
01:17:22,973 --> 01:17:26,018
XANDER: Dot Calm appears
to be offline, Jason.
1190
01:17:26,184 --> 01:17:28,854
The cyber attack
has been halted.
1191
01:17:32,899 --> 01:17:34,234
Did you
1192
01:17:34,609 --> 01:17:37,195
make a call quite close
to the submarine, sir?
1193
01:17:40,073 --> 01:17:41,199
Um...
1194
01:17:41,283 --> 01:17:42,367
Because...
1195
01:17:43,368 --> 01:17:44,703
You did it, sir!
1196
01:17:45,871 --> 01:17:47,622
Mission accomplished!
1197
01:17:48,165 --> 01:17:49,666
Well, exactly!
1198
01:17:51,418 --> 01:17:54,504
XANDER: I am re-evaluating
our options, Jason.
1199
01:17:54,588 --> 01:17:56,256
(CHATTERING CONTINUES)
1200
01:18:01,011 --> 01:18:02,846
OPHELIA: Johnny! Johnny!
1201
01:18:02,929 --> 01:18:06,016
Volta is getting away!
He's heading for his helicopter!
1202
01:18:06,099 --> 01:18:07,392
No, Bough.
1203
01:18:08,602 --> 01:18:10,270
This one's mine.
1204
01:18:13,106 --> 01:18:14,566
(GRUNTING)
1205
01:18:29,539 --> 01:18:31,166
(GRUNTING)
1206
01:18:43,887 --> 01:18:45,555
Careful, sir. Sir?
1207
01:18:45,639 --> 01:18:47,557
(GRUNTING)
1208
01:18:56,608 --> 01:18:58,276
Last two steps, sir.
1209
01:18:58,360 --> 01:18:59,486
(GROANS)
1210
01:19:01,863 --> 01:19:02,906
(GASPS)
1211
01:19:03,365 --> 01:19:05,283
Not so fast, Volta!
1212
01:19:05,617 --> 01:19:06,827
(JASON LAUGHS)
1213
01:19:06,910 --> 01:19:08,995
Is this supposed to scare me,
Sir Lancelot?
1214
01:19:09,079 --> 01:19:11,081
(GRUNTING)
1215
01:19:14,126 --> 01:19:15,377
Take cover, Bough.
1216
01:19:22,008 --> 01:19:25,554
Don't worry, he's only got six
bullets in that thing.
1217
01:19:25,637 --> 01:19:26,847
(GUN CLICKING)
1218
01:19:29,015 --> 01:19:30,725
And, of course,
the thing itself.
1219
01:19:30,809 --> 01:19:32,310
(HELICOPTER POWERING UP)
1220
01:19:33,145 --> 01:19:35,188
You've run out
of options, Volta.
1221
01:19:36,022 --> 01:19:37,315
Oh, you think you've won?
1222
01:19:37,399 --> 01:19:38,608
Mmm.
1223
01:19:39,192 --> 01:19:42,237
XANDER: Rerouting the attack
to our Nevada servers, Jason.
1224
01:19:42,863 --> 01:19:46,867
The world's going down, English.
And I'll be the last man standing.
1225
01:19:47,492 --> 01:19:50,537
Goodbye, English!
Goodbye, Internet.
1226
01:19:51,788 --> 01:19:56,460
I've got it. That's a Gazelle
341 light attack helicopter.
1227
01:19:57,043 --> 01:19:59,546
If we can hack into
its operating system,
1228
01:19:59,796 --> 01:20:01,798
we can disable
the drive function.
1229
01:20:02,090 --> 01:20:03,091
Here.
1230
01:20:06,928 --> 01:20:11,057
Look at you! You couldn't use that
thing if your life depended on it!
1231
01:20:11,141 --> 01:20:12,267
(LAUGHS)
1232
01:20:14,019 --> 01:20:15,395
Let's get outta here.
1233
01:20:16,104 --> 01:20:17,814
Get this steel bird in the...
(GROANS)
1234
01:20:23,028 --> 01:20:27,949
XANDER: Rerouting complete. Attack data
now installed at our Nevada servers.
1235
01:20:28,366 --> 01:20:30,160
Should I initiate?
1236
01:20:30,577 --> 01:20:31,578
Jason?
1237
01:20:31,661 --> 01:20:33,663
(ARMOR CLANKING)
1238
01:20:36,249 --> 01:20:38,418
Should I initiate
the new attack?
1239
01:20:39,461 --> 01:20:41,963
Initiate this!
1240
01:20:42,047 --> 01:20:44,466
XANDER: (DISTORTED) Jason.
1241
01:20:54,351 --> 01:20:55,644
(CAMERAS CLICKING)
1242
01:20:55,727 --> 01:20:57,163
PRIME MINISTER: Well, uh,
ladies and gentlemen.
1243
01:20:57,187 --> 01:21:01,066
I think we can all agree, that wasn't
quite the evening we were expecting.
1244
01:21:01,149 --> 01:21:02,651
(WEAK LAUGHTER)
1245
01:21:04,903 --> 01:21:06,321
(PRIME MINISTER CLEARS THROAT)
1246
01:21:06,404 --> 01:21:08,406
I had hoped to present
to you tonight...
1247
01:21:08,532 --> 01:21:10,825
Thank you...a vision of
what Britain might be.
1248
01:21:11,243 --> 01:21:14,996
But, as it happens,
the man who saved us all this evening,
1249
01:21:15,080 --> 01:21:18,625
the man who, I might add,
I personally assigned to this case,
1250
01:21:19,251 --> 01:21:21,461
has presented us with a
different kind of vision.
1251
01:21:21,545 --> 01:21:25,840
A living embodiment, if you like,
of those fundamental British qualities
1252
01:21:25,924 --> 01:21:30,220
that have ensured that our
beloved island nation endures.
1253
01:21:30,720 --> 01:21:33,640
Courage under fire,
endless ingenuity
1254
01:21:33,723 --> 01:21:35,642
and above all, a quiet
1255
01:21:36,268 --> 01:21:38,979
unassailable dignity.
1256
01:21:39,980 --> 01:21:41,982
(PEOPLE GASPING)
1257
01:21:43,608 --> 01:21:45,527
(CAMERAS CLICKING)
1258
01:21:54,411 --> 01:21:55,453
(GROANS)
1259
01:21:58,123 --> 01:21:59,374
Thank you.
1260
01:22:06,548 --> 01:22:07,966
All together.
(ALL CHEERING)
1261
01:22:14,389 --> 01:22:15,765
(STUDENTS CONTINUE CHEERING)
1262
01:22:18,852 --> 01:22:20,562
Welcome back, Mr. English.
1263
01:22:20,645 --> 01:22:21,813
Thank you, Headmaster.
1264
01:22:21,896 --> 01:22:23,666
Thank you for agreeing
to be our guest speaker.
1265
01:22:23,690 --> 01:22:26,484
Now the governors and staff are all
waiting for us in the rose garden.
1266
01:22:26,568 --> 01:22:29,487
Yes, if you could just excuse me
for a few minutes, Headmaster.
1267
01:22:30,363 --> 01:22:31,740
(CONFUSED CHATTER)
1268
01:22:35,243 --> 01:22:36,244
Oh.
1269
01:22:38,121 --> 01:22:39,372
Morning, sir!
Hello, sir!
1270
01:22:39,456 --> 01:22:41,708
GIRLS: Welcome back, sir!
1271
01:22:41,791 --> 01:22:43,710
(STUDENTS GREETING)
1272
01:22:45,754 --> 01:22:46,838
Surprise!
1273
01:22:47,797 --> 01:22:48,965
Thank you.
1274
01:22:50,175 --> 01:22:51,760
Where's Straker?
(STRAKER GRUNTS)
1275
01:22:52,677 --> 01:22:54,471
Here, sir.
Good.
1276
01:22:54,721 --> 01:22:56,640
And, of course, Baggaley.
1277
01:22:56,723 --> 01:22:57,849
(BAGGALEY GROANS)
1278
01:22:57,932 --> 01:22:59,076
That was very good.
Very good.
1279
01:22:59,100 --> 01:23:00,703
All right, gather round,
everyone. Gather round.
1280
01:23:00,727 --> 01:23:01,811
(EXCITED CHATTER)
1281
01:23:01,895 --> 01:23:03,813
I've got some toys
to show you.
1282
01:23:03,897 --> 01:23:05,440
ALL: Ooh!
There we go.
1283
01:23:06,524 --> 01:23:08,818
There we are. There we are.
1284
01:23:09,319 --> 01:23:11,404
Breadstick blowpipe, anyone?
ALL: Me!
1285
01:23:11,488 --> 01:23:12,530
There you go.
1286
01:23:12,614 --> 01:23:14,866
Granny Smith hand grenade?
1287
01:23:15,408 --> 01:23:17,410
And what about a garroting watch?
Here, sir.
1288
01:23:17,494 --> 01:23:18,495
There you go.
1289
01:23:18,578 --> 01:23:19,788
(BLOWS)
(GROANS)
1290
01:23:19,871 --> 01:23:21,581
STUDENTS: Ooh!
Here, let me take that.
1291
01:23:21,706 --> 01:23:24,000
Don't worry, it's only a mild sedative.
(GROANING)
1292
01:23:24,084 --> 01:23:25,126
(BEEPING)
1293
01:23:25,210 --> 01:23:27,712
Oh! That's just
a five-second fuse.
1294
01:23:27,796 --> 01:23:28,880
(CHOKING)
1295
01:23:28,963 --> 01:23:31,591
Yes, all right, we all know
what garroting looks like.
1296
01:23:31,716 --> 01:23:33,718
Whenever you're ready,
Mr. English.
1297
01:23:33,843 --> 01:23:36,429
Oh, I'm sorry, Headmaster,
I'll just be one moment.
1298
01:23:36,554 --> 01:23:38,723
Just take those. Thank you.
Ooh.
1299
01:23:39,599 --> 01:23:42,644
Put those away, shall we?
There we...
1300
01:23:43,353 --> 01:23:44,521
Um...
1301
01:23:45,355 --> 01:23:47,190
HEADMASTER: I always
did love a jelly baby.