♪ theme song playing ♪
‐ ♪ It's time for Animaniacs! ♪
♪ And we're zany to the max ♪
♪ So just sit back and relax ♪
♪ You'll laugh till you collapse ♪
♪ We're Animaniacs! ♪
‐ ♪ Come join the Warner Brothers ♪ ‐ ♪ And the Warner Sister Dot ♪
♪ Just for fun, we run around the Warner movie lot ♪
♪ They lock us in the tower whenever we get caught ♪
♪ But we break loose and then vamoose and now you know the plot ♪
♪ We're Animaniacs ♪
♪ Dot has wit and Yakko yaks ♪
♪ Wakko packs away the snacks ♪
♪ Our careers have made comebacks ♪
♪ We're Animaniacs! ♪
♪ Meet Pinky and the Brain who want to rule the universe ♪
♪ A brand new cast who tested well in focus group research ♪
♪ Gender balanced, pronoun neutral ♪
♪ And ethnically diverse ♪
♪ The trolls will say we're so passé, but we did meta first ♪
♪ We're Animaniacs ♪
♪ You should see our new contracts ♪
♪ We're zany to the max, there's baloney in our slacks ♪
♪ We're animan‐ey, totally insane‐y ♪
‐ ♪ Are you not entertain‐ey‐ed? ♪
‐ ♪ Animaniacs! Those are the facts ♪
♪
‐ You know, I was gonna vote no
to WB canceling our health plan,
but that unlimited‐dairy‐free‐ ice‐cream‐for‐a‐whole‐hour‐counter
was too good to refuse.
Ah! [crash]
Ow!
Good thing I'm impervious to physical harm.
Ahh‐‐ [silence] [beeping]
[screaming]
[grunts]
[gasps]
Listen, hot shot, I am trying to eat a balanced lunch here.
[spitting, choking]
‐ Zis is not something I would usually say,
but, uh, things may be moving a little fast for moi.
‐ Hey. Bring back my health insurance ice cream, pal.
‐ No! No! Please, mon cheri!
Do not erase me! The void, she is cold and dark and‐‐
‐ And I want extra scoops for the trouble!
[spitting] Rum raisin?!
Now, it's personal.
[grunts] Listen, you lazy hack,
Looney Tunes very famously did this
"animator gets screwy with lovable protagonist" routine,
like, 100 years ago.
[beeping, clicking]
♪
And that hole‐in‐the‐sky gag was straight out of Portal 2.
Which was a straight‐up ripoff of Portal 1,
which took it from Sliders, which borrowed from Time Bandits, that stole it from‐‐
Oh. And now the Cheshire Cat bit.
Give me a body before you get us sued!
Ah.
[screaming] [shatter]
I thought we were past all this?!
♪ whistling theme song ♪
[gasps] Hey!
♪
You know, most people like me.
I'll bet I can win you over.
I'll sing you a song!
People love my beautiful tenor voice.
♪ U...nited States, Canada, Mexico, Panama ♪
♪ Haiti, Jamaica, Peru ♪
[Ralph's voice] ♪ Republic duh... ♪
Duh... Dominican.
[glass shattering]
Duh, poor Ralph.
He never stood a chance with this voice.
[laughs] Change me back into a Warner.
[clicking, beeping]
[Dot's voice] I meant a Warner brother.
[clicking, beeping]
[Wakko's voice] I meant...
Actually, wait. I've always wanted to try this.
[Ringo impression] People used to say there better drummers than me,
even in The Beatles.
People can be real jerks.
[normal voice] You know, I was always more of a George guy anyway.
How about I go back to being the rapier wit who carries this whole operation,
and you go back to being the paint‐by‐numbers
wannabe artiste. Hm?
[clicking, beeping]
♪ artsy music ♪
And while you're at it, why don't you cut your ear off?
[clicking, beeping]
I've heard of abstract animation, but this is ridiculous!
[clicking, beeping]
♪
It's 2:67 already? Let's wrap this sketch up!
[groans]
[breathes deeply]
Just walk away, Yakko.
Be the bigger man.
[high‐pitched] Small things amuse small minds. Give me my height back!
[beeping] [grunts]
And my width. [clicking]
[grunts] And my depth!
[clicking, beep]
Alright, wise guy. You picked the wrong beloved animation icon to torment.
I am one of a kind.
[clicking, beeping]
♪
I'm having an... ‐ Existential...
ALL: Crisis?
‐ On the bright side, our Yakkstreet Boys tribute band idea
just became a lot more feasible.
‐ I call Nick Carter! ‐ Which one am I?
YAKKOS: Howie D! ‐ Ah! I give up!
You win! Just please don't draw me a bunch of extra arms!
Anything but that!
[grunt, struggling]
♪
‐ Have mercy on me, Yakko.
Outside of my vintage console collection,
ironic '90s T‐shirts, and my blog critiquing the overuse
of plot armor in the last two seasons of Game Of Thrones,
tormenting my cartoons is the only outlet I have.
And you're my favorite Warner sibling. I mean, honest, really. You are.
‐ Well, I mean, yeah. Of course.
Alright, sister, I'll let you off the hook,
but you are gonna do something for me.
[birds chirping]
[clicking, beep] ‐ Unt how does zat make you feel?
‐ Nein. How does zat make you feel?
‐ Nein, nein, nein. I'm asking you
how does zat make you feel?
[clang] [grunting, strain]
[high‐pitched grunting]
‐ Mein gains!
‐ Which is why we can expect sustained... [clicking, beeping]
[Daffy Duck's voice] ...increases in studio profitability.
Say, do we even have the right to use this voice?
♪
[projector clicking, beep]
NARRATOR: It's time for another mandatory Warner Brothers Educational Content Break.
And now, the Longest Word in the English Language.
With Yakko Warner.
‐ Antidisestablishmentarianism.
Defined as being "against dis establishment
and all dat nasty tarianism."
Used in a sentence, "what's a guy gotta do to get some antidisestablishmentarianism around here?"
Any questions?
‐ Yeah, I got one.
Why do you always get to be the teacher?
‐ [spit] Because I'm the smarty‐pants.
In fact, I'm the only pants! [smash]
Yes, Wakko?
‐ You know, I bet I could be a better teacher than you.
‐ Oh please. I'm the one who thought about doing Teach For America.
‐ That doesn't mean anything. They let everybody in.
‐ But I know one who just found an even longer word!
‐ Hoo‐hoo‐hoo! Busted!
‐ Which means I get to be the teacher now!
NARRATOR: And now, the Longest Word in the English Language
with Wakko Warner.
‐ You see, children, the actual longest word is
floccinaucinihilipilification.
Defined as "the habit of deeming
something as worthless." YAKKO: Psh!
I'll tell you what's worthless. A word with eight I's.
‐ Like a spider! ‐ You're thinking of legs.
Spiders have eight legs. ‐ No, they also have eight eyes.
‐ No, they don't.
‐ Sounds like somebody needs a special visit from Mr. Spider!
‐ Oh boy.
‐ [pompous voice] Most spiders have eight eyes,
but some have fewer, and some have as many as 12!
[normal voice] Huh. I guess we were both right. Wow!
‐ Thanks, Mr. Spider! I learned a new fact today!
‐ [pompous voice] That's wonderful, Yakko!
But the most important lesson of all is to be yourself!
And friendship.
‐ [growls] I'm not a baby!
♪
‐ [normal voice] Hm. Looks like somebody needs a nap.
‐ No. I've never been more awake.
You two chumps settle in.
It's time for me to be the teacher.
Hey, Mr. Voice! Drop that title card. [clang]
NARRATOR: And now, the Longest Word in the English Language
with Dot Warner.
♪
‐ You see this word?
Pneumonoultramicroscopic‐ silicovolcanoconiosis?
It's over 40 letters.
‐ Wow! What does it mean?
‐ No speaking unless spoken to! [grunts]
[smash]
‐ Did that count as being spoken to?
Can I talk now? ‐ No!
‐ Well, if no one can speak until spoken to,
and you won't let us say anything,
how are you allowed to talk?
‐ I... uh... I don't know.
‐ Teaching's not as easy as it looks, is it?
You have to grade papers, you have to prepare lesson plans, meet with parents.
Most teachers work 12 to 14 hours a day.
‐ Or... I can kick back and read a romance novel
while you kids watch a video.
BOTH: Yay!
‐ Apparently, this is a show where four nerds
explain the Big Bang Theory.
And I'm putting it on in Spanish,
so it counts as your foreign language.
[smash]
NERD 1 [TV] Hola, geeko. NERD 2 [TV] Ay barringa.
[sitcom laughter]
‐ Guess the comedy gets lost in translation?
‐ Nope! ‐ And that concludes our lesson on lowbrow hack sitcom creation
that further bleeds dry the already endangered American imagination.
Good night, everybody!
[thunder]
♪ Pinky & the Brain theme playing ♪
‐ Gee, Brain, what do you wanna do tonight?
‐ The same thing we do every night, Pinky.
Try to take over the world!
[thunder]
♪
‐ ♪ They're Pinky and the Brain ♪
♪ Yes, Pinky and the Brain ♪
♪ One is a genius ♪
♪ The other's insane ♪
♪ They're laboratory mice ♪
♪ Their genes have been spliced ♪
♪ They're dinky, they're Pinky and the Brain ♪
♪ Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain ♪
♪
[beep]
[airhorn] ‐ Ah!
‐ Happy Narfday!
‐ What? No, already?
‐ Yep! It's my birthday!
The one day we don't try to take over the world
and do everything I wanna do,
no matter what! [laughs]
‐ [sighs] Pinky‐‐ ‐ Nope! It's not Pinky today.
Today, I want you to call me Geraldo!
‐ Why would I call you Geraldo, Pinky?
‐ No, no. Just Geraldo, not Geraldo Pinky.
On second thought, I sorta like the sound of that.
Geraldo Pinky...
Actually, what if I shortened it to just Pinky?
Ooh! I like that best. Call me Pinky today, Brain.
[beep] ‐ Pinky, it's midnight.
‐ I know! So, we'd better get started!
‐ Started? Started doing what?
‐ All the things on my birthday list, silly! Zort!
‐ You must be joking. ‐ Oh, not yet.
Joking happens around... la la la...
8 AM!
Oh, Brain, it's gonna be the bestest Narfday ever!
‐ Yes, Pinky, it's going to be more fun than a craniotomy.
‐ [laughs] Good one, Brain,
but save the jokes for 8:00, will you, darling?
Also, what's a crani‐o‐totomy?
‐ Never mind, my feeble‐minded friend. Never mind.
Today is your day, so let's get it over with, shall we?
♪ punk music playing ♪
PINKY [scream‐singing] ♪ Narf up, narf down, narf it all around ♪
♪ It's my Narfday! ♪
♪ Narf in, narf out, narf it all about ♪
♪ It's my Narfday! ♪
[people screaming]
♪ Narf side to side, narf far and wide ♪
♪ Narf wherever you decide ♪
♪ It's my Narfday! It's my Narfday! ♪
♪
♪ Zort narf poit! Nobody knows what a Narfday will bring ♪
♪ Giggles or magic or cheese ♪
♪ I just know that Narfdays are fine ♪
♪ 'Cause Narfdays are all about me, yes! ♪
♪ Narf up, narf down, narf it all around ♪
♪ It's my Narfday! ♪
♪ Narf in, narf out, narf it all about ♪
♪ It's my Narfday! ♪
♪ Don't try‐‐ ♪
[screaming]
♪
‐ [sighs] Alright, Pinky.
I think we've had enough fun for one day. I...
Pinky? Pinky!
Pinky, where are you going?
‐ Well, we got kicked out of the spa sooner than I'd planned, Brain,
but I was able to shuffle a few things around.
‐ How is it that any time I ask you to do
the most minuscule undertaking, it's plagued with disaster,
but you seem to have today flawlessly mapped out to the very millisecon‐‐
Ah!
♪
PINKY: I don't know, Brain!
I guess it's because these are things
I want to do!
‐ What are you saying?!
‐ [gasp] Street beans! BRAIN: What?!
PINKY: Ah! [both grunting]
[Pinky laughing]
‐ Street beans, Brain.
Ooh, you haven't had a good street bean until you've had one here.
‐ They're called string beans, Pinky.
‐ No, String Beans Pinky is my jazz name.
These are street beans.
Mm, sidewalky.
You gotta try some, Brain!
‐ That's quite alright, Pinky.
‐ Suit yourself.
‐ Huh? Is that...
Can't be... ‐ Mm. [smacking] What is it, Brain? [gasps]
Oh dear, do I got food on me face?
‐ No, I just, uh... I'll be right back.
‐ Okay, but don't expect me to save any street bean for you!
Ow!
Ooh! Sky beans!
‐ It has to be a replica.
Hieroglyphics with origins from Thebes.
Handcrafted copper from Luxor.
The ancient Egyptian relic containing Astatine‐203,
and I find it here at a hipster swap meet!
[maniacal laughter]
Ha...
This is the missing ingredient for my absolute zero theory!
And with it, I will hold the world ransom
with a gaseous absolute zero cloud!
[maniacal laughter] PINKY: Brain?
Brain!
Where are you? ‐ Oh no.
If Pinky finds out I've been making world domination plans on his...
special day, I'll never hear the end of it.
‐ There you are!
What you doing up here, Brain?
‐ Me? No, uh, nothing. Just... nothing at all.
‐ Oh. But, we're not supposed to do nothing until 5:15.
Hey, what's that behind your back? ‐ Oh, this?
Uh, it‐it's, uh, it's your birthday present, of course!
‐ [gasps] Egad, Brain,
I just love it!
What is it?
‐ It's an amulet containing an extremely rare isotope.
It's priceless.
‐ Oh... Well, I don't care how much you spent on it, Brain,
it's the thought that counts.
‐ No! Be very, very careful with that, Pinky!
If you break it, my entire plan will be ruined!
‐ Plan? What plan?
‐ Um... [clears throat] My plan for you to have the best Narfday ever!
Surely, destroying your birthday present
is not on that list of yours.
‐ Oh, that's very sweet, Brain,
but I don't need some silly ambulance‐‐
‐ Amulet. ‐ Omelet?
‐ Amulet. ‐ Am‐alet?
‐ Close. Am‐u‐let.
‐ Got it! [clears throat]
Fancy feast!
‐ Good god, no.
‐ It feels like we're saying the same thing.
Anyway, I don't need anything but your friendship
to have the best Narf day ever.
‐ Well, that's... that's very kind of you to say.
‐ And I mean it. Zort!
Now, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
‐ No, Pinky. The mere thought of delving into your cranial activity
gives me a migraine. ‐ Righto!
It's your turn to sing my Narf day song!
‐ No. Absolutely not.
‐ But, Brain...
Please...
‐ Oh fine. ‐ Yay!
And a one, and a two, and a three,
and a... uh... [sighs]
‐ Four. ‐ Four! Hit it!
♪ punk music playing ♪
BRAIN [unenthusiastically] ♪ Narf up, narf down, narf it all around ♪
♪ It's his Narfday ♪
[squawking]
♪ Narf in, narf out, narf it all about ♪
♪ 'Cause it's his Narfday ♪
♪ Narf side to side, narf far and wide ♪
♪ Narf wherever he decides ♪
♪ It's his Narfday, it's his Narfday ♪
[crowd cheering]
♪ It's his Narfday, it's his Narfday! ♪
♪ Stupid Narfday! ♪
♪
[yawning]
‐ That was the bestest Narf day
I ever did have, Brain. Thank you.
‐ No, Pinky. Thank you.
[Pinky giggles]
♪
[snoring]
‐ Narf, narf, narf, narf, narf...
Brain? W‐where you going with my birthday present?
‐ I‐I just realized I never had it polished.
[squeaking] ‐ That's alright, Brain.
I like it just the way it is.
‐ I must insist.
‐ Really, Brain, it‐it's fine.
‐ No, no, Pinky. I insist. ‐ Brain...
‐ Pinky... ‐ Brain...
[both struggling]
‐ No!
♪
[gasps]
[yawn, smacking]
[sighs]
[flapping, chirping]
♪
[growling] ‐ Oh, don't beat yourself up, Brain.
I liked the ambulance, sure,
but my real birthday present was getting to spend the day
with my best friend.
‐ Pinky, do you realize what you've done?
That amulet
contained the missing ingredient
for my absolute zero theory!
With it, I could've taken over the world!
‐ Y‐you mean you just wanted my present for yourself?
‐ Of course I did. The thought of world domination
was the only thing that kept me sane
during the barrage of asinine expeditions
that you took me on today.
‐ Oh.
I‐I see. Then,
I guess we can forget about the last thing on my list, hm?
‐ Indubitably. Look.
♪
Your birthday is officially over, Pinky.
‐ I know that, Brain.
It's been over for weeks.
‐ What? What do you mean?
‐ My birthday was last month.
I was gonna remind you, but you're always so busy
trying to take over the world that,
well, I didn't want to distract you.
♪
‐ Perhaps I did end up solving my absolute zero theory after all, Pinky.
For I am an absolute zero when it comes to being a friend.
Can you ever forgive me?
‐ Mm, sure I can, Brain. That's what friends do.
But, can we do the last thing on my birthday list?
‐ Of course, Pinky. Whatever you want.
‐ I want to take over the world.
‐ [sighs] Come, Pinky.
Then we must prepare for tomorrow night.
‐ Why, Brain? What are we gonna do tomorrow night?
‐ Are you serious? You just said...
[sighs] Never mind.
The same thing we do every night, Pinky.
Try to take over the world!
‐ Yay! [crash]
♪
‐ Hey, hey, hey, hey. No time for backstory, George Lucas.
This is a five minute sketch.
Places, people! Places! [clapping]
And... action.
‐ W‐what is the meaning of this nonsense?
‐ Johnny, sweetie, relax. We're jesters. We jest.
‐ So, uh, you're a tyrant, huh?
‐ [giggles] Well, I try. [giggles]
I crush the odd dissenter,
boil the odd conspirator, filet the odd peasant.
‐ Oh, stop! You're making me hungry! I haven't had lunch!
‐ You know, I've always had a thing for bad boys.
[gag, vomits]
[gasping, spitting]
Haven't showers been invented yet?!
♪
‐ Well, no. ‐ Oh. Yeah, right.
[gasps]
[grunting]
[growling]
[gasping, groaning]
♪
‐ [baby talk] Who's a good king? You are!
‐ Guards! Seize them!
‐ Hey! You can't arrest us for anachronisms!
‐ Anarchy? Did he just say anarchy?
Oh no! 'Tis the civil war we've long feared!
To arms! To arms! [screaming, smashing]
YAKKO: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold your horsemen, Jack.
If it's civil war you seek to eschew,
we've got just the historical doc for you.
‐ A manuscript most major,
mooted for His Magnificence's musing.
‐ I'm listening. ‐ A parchment for your peepers to peruse,
that those privy may prevent protest from both
plebeian and patrician alike.
‐ Yes, yes, go on.
‐ Again, it's almost lunch time,
and I'm starving!
Verily.
‐ Send them to the dicing chambers!
♪
‐ For lunch? ‐ For dicing!
‐ Just read this. ‐ What is it? And make it quick.
I have a peasant quartering to attend after lunch.
‐ Oh sure. He gets lunch.
DOT: This is the Magna Carta, Your Majesty.
Your salvation. Simply sign it swiftly,
and sedition is certain to subside.
‐ Ugh! This is silly.
‐ Silly! Very good.
Let us explain.
‐ ♪ Don't be coy, old Johnny boy ♪
♪ We have seen what you decreed ♪
♪ You've taxed and pillaged every village ♪
♪ And ignored their every need ♪
‐ ♪ So, we wrote the Magna Carta ♪
‐ ♪ Which is Latin for Great Charter ♪
‐ ♪ And you'd do well lest folk rebel ♪
♪ To sign this clever creed ♪
‐ ♪ The British Isles will have fair trials ♪
♪ And I'll tell you what's more ♪
♪ Neither king nor son nor anyone will be above the law ♪
WAKKO: ♪ So, if you're to have a hope ♪
DOT: ♪ And win the blessings of the Pope ♪
‐ ♪ You can't decline, you'll have to sign, or face a civil war ♪
DOT: ♪ Though you'll be vexed, this deed's effects ♪
♪ Go far beyond this region, you can stamp and shout and whine about ♪
♪ This blatant act of treason ♪ ‐ Guards!
WAKKO: ♪ But we demand habeas corpus ♪
‐ ♪ Meaning tyrants should be cautious ♪
‐ ♪ No more arrests at the king's behest ♪
♪ For now you'll need a reason ♪
‐ ♪ Unless you're craving one more bathing, embrace legal restitution ♪
♪ Church and state will separate or there'll be regal revolution ♪
‐ ♪ And the message then will spread ♪
‐ ♪ Like liberty butter on freedom bread ♪
‐ ♪ Through the ages to the pages of the US Constitution ♪
‐ ♪ In 800 years, to people's cheers, these words will further travel ♪
♪ To unclasp each despot's grasp, and to ensure their reigns unravel ♪
‐ ♪ Rights were granted at our birth ♪
‐ ♪ To every corner of the Earth ♪
WAKKO: ♪ From United Nations declarations ♪
ALL: ♪ Down to every judge's gavel ♪
♪
‐ Okay. [panting] That has to work.
‐ What is the United Nations?
And what is the US Constitution?
And what on Earth is liberty butter?!
‐ Listen, John‐O, just sign or get off the throne.
‐ Yeah. I mean, surely you'd do anything to prevent another civil war.
‐ I'd do anything to prevent another song!
‐ That'll do! Just sign here and here and here and here.
‐ We did it! And there's still a little time left on the clock.
‐ Huh. We're not usually that efficient. What should we do now?
YAKKO: Say, KJ,
would you like to hear all about the Battle of Hastings?
Hit it, lute boy!
♪
‐ I abdicate!
I abdicate!
[crash]
‐ Goodbye, everybody!
♪