1
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♪ theme song playing ♪

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‐ ♪ It's time for Animaniacs! ♪

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♪ And we're zany to the max ♪

4
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♪ So just sit back and relax ♪

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♪ You'll laugh till you collapse ♪

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♪ We're Animaniacs! ♪

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‐ ♪ Come join the Warner Brothers ♪
‐ ♪ And the Warner Sister Dot ♪

8
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♪ Just for fun, we run around
the Warner movie lot ♪

9
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♪ They lock us in the tower
whenever we get caught ♪

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♪ But we break loose and then vamoose
and now you know the plot ♪

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♪ We're Animaniacs ♪

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♪ Dot has wit and Yakko yaks ♪

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♪ Wakko packs away the snacks ♪

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♪ Our careers have made comebacks ♪

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♪ We're Animaniacs! ♪

16
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♪ Meet Pinky and the Brain
who want to rule the universe ♪

17
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♪ A brand new cast who tested well
in focus group research ♪

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♪ Gender balanced, pronoun neutral ♪

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♪ And ethnically diverse ♪

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♪ The trolls will say we're so passé,
but we did meta first ♪

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♪ We're Animaniacs ♪

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♪ You should see our new contracts ♪

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♪ We're zany to the max,
there's baloney in our slacks ♪

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♪ We're animan‐ey, totally insane‐y ♪

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‐ ♪ Definitely not Bruce Wayne‐y ♪

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‐ ♪ Animaniacs! Those are the facts ♪

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♪

28
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UPTIGHT ANNOUNCER: Hey, kids! Look up from
your brain‐wrecking devices for a sec!

29
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It's time for What Is That?
With the Warners.

30
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[tire screech]
‐ What is that?

31
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[sniffing]

32
00:01:36,847 --> 00:01:38,599
‐ Looks like a flying saucer to me.

33
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‐ Maybe an upside down wok?

34
00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:43,812
UPTIGHT ANNOUNCER:
Nope! It's a "hang"!

35
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A hang is a 12‐toned metal
percussion instrument

36
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from Switzerland!

37
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‐ Weird name.

38
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I like "bang" better.
I'm calling it a bang.

39
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‐ Ooh! If you put two of them together,
you could call it a bang bang!

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UPTIGHT ANNOUNCER:
Nope! It's a hang! Not a bang,

41
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and definitely not a bang bang.

42
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‐ Ow! You got me!

43
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Let me ask you a personal
question, Announcer.

44
00:02:03,916 --> 00:02:06,585
Can you hang your bang in a bang hang?
UPTIGHT ANNOUNCER: Nope!

45
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‐ And if it crashes to
the ground and you call me,

46
00:02:08,712 --> 00:02:11,340
then would you be a man who
rang about a hang bang clang?

47
00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:13,509
UPTIGHT ANNOUNCER:
No. I would never call you

48
00:02:13,509 --> 00:02:15,594
about a hang bang clang.

49
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‐ So, you admit it! It is a bang!

50
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‐ Can you use it to call a flying saucer?

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UPTIGHT ANNOUNCER: This segment was
only supposed to be 15 seconds long!

52
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It's a hang, and that's final!

53
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[Dot screaming, grunts]

54
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What the heck is that? Is that an alien?

55
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I have to rethink everything I know!

56
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[screaming]

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♪ hang vibrates ♪

58
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[birds chirping]

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♪ music continues ♪

60
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[grunts, retches]

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‐ It was hot in there.

62
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‐ [gasps] At least you got to breathe
through the eye holes!

63
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♪

64
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‐ Hey, buddy, sketch is over.
We already did the alien thing.

65
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‐ Ouch!

66
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That's my nutritional intake orifice!

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[screaming]

68
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♪

69
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[beeping]
I have acquired the bang.

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[zapping]

71
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♪

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00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:28,750
[thunder]

73
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♪ Pinky and the Brain theme song ♪

74
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‐ Gee, Brain, what do
you wanna do tonight?

75
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‐ The same thing we do every night, Pinky.

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Try to take over the world!
[thunder]

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♪

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‐ ♪ They're Pinky and the Brain ♪

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♪ Yes, Pinky and the Brain ♪

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♪ One is a genius,
the other's insane ♪

81
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♪ They're laboratory mice ♪

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♪ Their genes have been spliced ♪

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♪ They're dinky,
they're Pinky and the Brain ♪

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♪ Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain ♪

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♪

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[basketball buzzer]

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ANNOUNCER [TV]:
And with just six seconds on the clock,

88
00:04:14,338 --> 00:04:15,881
I don't see how Fluke

89
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can close this gap.

90
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‐ Egad. You're watching sports?

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"Who are you, and what have
you done with the real Brain?"

92
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Narf! [laughs]

93
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Seriously though, Brain. Is that you?

94
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You've replaced yourself
with clones so many times,

95
00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:31,021
I can't tell. [grunts]
BRAIN: Quiet, Pinky,

96
00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:32,773
you purulent protoplasmic peon.

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‐ It is you!

98
00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:36,443
‐ I must hear the score.

99
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:38,779
‐ But I thought you
hated bouncy‐ball, Brain.

100
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:40,072
[grunts]

101
00:04:40,072 --> 00:04:42,824
‐ If you mean basketball, I do hate it.

102
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Watching humans drop orbs into netting

103
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is scarcely my idea of entertainment.

104
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I'm in no way emotionally
invested in this pitiful‐‐

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00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,708
[whistle blows]
Oh, how is that a foul?!

106
00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:53,460
The force behind that errant contact

107
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,295
could be measured in micronewtons!

108
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:57,506
ANNOUNCER [TV]:
And if Allen can sink this free throw,

109
00:04:57,506 --> 00:04:59,967
Fluke University will steal

110
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the unlikeliest of victories!

111
00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:04,763
♪

112
00:05:08,183 --> 00:05:10,227
And... it's good!
[buzzer]

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[crowd cheering]
Fluke wins 73‐72!

114
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,315
‐ Ah! A surprising outcome!

115
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,610
I‐I suppose I can see how the masses

116
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might find this dribble drivel amusing.

117
00:05:21,780 --> 00:05:24,283
73‐72,

118
00:05:24,283 --> 00:05:26,702
Fluke University. 73‐72,

119
00:05:26,702 --> 00:05:29,371
Fluke University.

120
00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:31,874
Okay, I'm ready.

121
00:05:31,874 --> 00:05:34,293
‐ Ooh! What do you got there, Brain?

122
00:05:34,293 --> 00:05:36,211
‐ Behold, Pinky.

123
00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:39,923
The Reverse Entropy Waveform
Inverter Neutrino Dilator.

124
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:42,467
I call it the REWIND!

125
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:45,971
‐ [gasps] You made your own smartphone?

126
00:05:45,971 --> 00:05:47,890
Oh, it's brilliant, Brain!

127
00:05:47,890 --> 00:05:50,434
So smooth and sleek and shiny and‐‐

128
00:05:50,434 --> 00:05:52,769
Oh no!

129
00:05:52,769 --> 00:05:55,772
No headphone jack?
When will you tech giants

130
00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:58,817
start listening to what us
consumers actually want?

131
00:05:58,817 --> 00:06:02,279
‐ This isn't some glorified
wireless telegraph, Pinky.

132
00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:05,240
This device controls the very
flow of time's arrow.

133
00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:09,119
Push of a button, I will be able to
travel precisely two hours into the past!

134
00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:12,748
Just long enough to accurately
forecast the outcome

135
00:06:12,748 --> 00:06:14,374
of a basketball game.

136
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:17,377
[Pinky humming]

137
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‐ Hm?
Sorry, Brain. I didn't get a word of that.

138
00:06:23,926 --> 00:06:25,886
‐ Brain use button,

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00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:28,096
win big at bouncy‐ball.

140
00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:30,057
‐ Well, why didn't you just say so?

141
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:32,643
‐ Through a series of precise
score predictions

142
00:06:32,643 --> 00:06:34,061
on the May Mania tournament,

143
00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:36,063
I calculate that I'll be able to turn

144
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:39,316
this 17 cents of loose change
I found in the lab into...

145
00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:43,278
no less than one trillion dollars!

146
00:06:43,278 --> 00:06:44,905
‐ Egad, Brain!

147
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:47,658
That's enough for me to pay
off my student loan debts!

148
00:06:47,658 --> 00:06:49,618
‐ But you never went to college.

149
00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:50,786
‐ Exactly!

150
00:06:50,786 --> 00:06:52,871
Why do you think I'm so bad with money?

151
00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:56,667
‐ Never mind that, Pinky.

152
00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:58,836
We're going to use the money

153
00:06:58,836 --> 00:07:01,046
to buy a Pacific island,

154
00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:04,675
on which we will build
a lair inside a live volcano!

155
00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:07,135
Every super villain needs one!

156
00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:09,513
Just like Dr. No!
‐ Dr. Who?

157
00:07:09,513 --> 00:07:11,431
‐ No, Dr. No.
‐ Who's a doctor?

158
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,808
‐ Yes.
‐ Dr. Yes?

159
00:07:12,808 --> 00:07:15,227
‐ No!
‐ Oh! Dr. No!

160
00:07:15,227 --> 00:07:16,728
‐ Yes!

161
00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:18,230
‐ I don't get it.
[Brain sighs]

162
00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:23,360
ANNOUNCER [TV]:
And with just six seconds on the clock,

163
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,529
I don't see how Fluke can close

164
00:07:25,529 --> 00:07:28,198
this gap!
‐ You're watching sports?

165
00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:31,285
Who are you and what have...
‐ I done with the real Brain.

166
00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:34,413
Very clever, Pinky, you purulent,
protoplasmic peon.

167
00:07:34,413 --> 00:07:38,375
‐ Narf! How do you keep
coming up with new ones?

168
00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:40,586
ANNOUNCER [TV]:
And if Allen can sink this free throw,

169
00:07:40,586 --> 00:07:42,754
Fluke University will steal

170
00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:45,257
the unlikeliest of victories!

171
00:07:45,257 --> 00:07:48,260
♪

172
00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:49,928
And... it's good!
[buzzer]

173
00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:51,597
[crowd cheering]
Fluke wins,

174
00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:53,682
73‐72!

175
00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:55,893
‐ [laughs] It works, Pinky!

176
00:07:55,893 --> 00:07:57,603
It works!

177
00:07:58,770 --> 00:08:00,063
[beeping]

178
00:08:00,522 --> 00:08:03,192
[kiss]
‐ Ooh! What do you got there, Brain?

179
00:08:03,192 --> 00:08:05,235
[grunts]

180
00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:09,323
ANNOUNCER [TV]: Fluke dominates
their second round match up,

181
00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:10,741
96‐78.
[crowd cheering]

182
00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:12,701
[beeping]

183
00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:14,703
‐ Ooh! What do you got there, Brain?

184
00:08:16,205 --> 00:08:17,915
♪

185
00:08:17,915 --> 00:08:19,208
[buzzer, cheering]

186
00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:22,377
[beeping]

187
00:08:22,377 --> 00:08:24,671
Ooh! What do you got there, Brain?

188
00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:29,092
‐ ♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

189
00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:30,511
[beeping]

190
00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:33,055
‐ Ooh! What do you got there‐‐

191
00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:38,101
‐ ♪ Whoa ♪

192
00:08:38,101 --> 00:08:40,020
‐ Ooh! What do you got the‐‐

193
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:40,938
[boom]

194
00:08:41,313 --> 00:08:43,899
Ooh! What you got there?

195
00:08:44,650 --> 00:08:46,443
‐ ♪ Whoa ♪

196
00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:48,111
‐ Ooh!
[Brain growls]

197
00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:50,572
‐ Ask me that one more time,

198
00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:52,866
and I will go back to
before your conception

199
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:55,327
and prevent your parents meet‐cute!

200
00:08:58,163 --> 00:08:59,414
This is it, Pinky.

201
00:08:59,414 --> 00:09:01,416
Williams makes this play, and our plan

202
00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:04,002
comes to fruition! Gesundheit, by the way.

203
00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:05,712
[sneezes]

204
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:07,714
‐ Who's Williams?
ANNOUNCER [TV]: Lamarche shoots,

205
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:09,258
and...

206
00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:11,510
misses!
[buzzer]

207
00:09:11,510 --> 00:09:13,720
Gorgonzola wins!

208
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,597
‐ Excuse me, who shoots?

209
00:09:15,597 --> 00:09:18,016
And it's what?
And doesn't Fluke wear blue?

210
00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:20,727
Pinky, this is all wrong!
PINKY: Oh?

211
00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:23,063
[speaking German]

212
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,315
♪

213
00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:26,692
[screams]

214
00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:28,902
ANNOUNCER [TV]:
With the fate of planet Earth

215
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,029
on the line, this promises to be

216
00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:33,198
an incredible game of Space Spheres!

217
00:09:33,866 --> 00:09:37,327
One wonders if these rips in
the spacetime continuum will harm

218
00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:40,622
the chances of
a Smargadine Smorgenflecks victory!

219
00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:44,084
‐ Rips in the spacetime
continuum? That's it!

220
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,253
Pinky, are you pondering
what I'm pondering?

221
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:47,921
‐ I believe so, Brain.

222
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:51,466
Your device must be disrupting
the very fabric of the universe,

223
00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:54,845
creating evermore bizarre
and unstable timelines.

224
00:09:54,845 --> 00:09:57,181
One wonders if continued use of your

225
00:09:57,181 --> 00:09:58,599
"temporal inverter"

226
00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:01,226
will escalate the decay
until the walls of reality

227
00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:03,687
come crashing down round us.

228
00:10:03,687 --> 00:10:05,606
‐ Why, that's right.

229
00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:08,692
However, I have no choice but to
keep jumping between timelines

230
00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:11,486
until I find an acceptable
one in which to reside.

231
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:13,906
Clearly this one is not that.

232
00:10:16,909 --> 00:10:19,286
‐ Wakey‐wakey, Brainy cakey!

233
00:10:20,996 --> 00:10:24,333
♪ romantic music swells ♪

234
00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:27,211
‐ [Pinky's voice]:
Egad! If Pinky finds out about us,

235
00:10:27,211 --> 00:10:29,796
you and I will never see
each other again, Pinky.

236
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:33,509
‐ [Pinky's voice]: [gasps] Oh, Pinky.
Pinky couldn't bear a life
without you, Pinky.

237
00:10:33,509 --> 00:10:34,593
[door bangs]
BOTH: Poit! Narf!

238
00:10:34,593 --> 00:10:36,929
♪ soap opera music ♪

239
00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:39,223
BRAIN:
Blegh! The most dreadful, awful,

240
00:10:39,223 --> 00:10:41,475
disgusting thing I've ever seen.

241
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:43,769
Holy!

242
00:10:43,769 --> 00:10:45,854
Once again, I've spoken too soon.

243
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:51,026
♪ regal music playing ♪

244
00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:55,155
‐ Emperor Brain.

245
00:10:58,242 --> 00:11:00,410
Who would you like smited today?

246
00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:03,372
‐ The past tense is actually "smote."

247
00:11:03,372 --> 00:11:05,791
And the smitees
are the object of the verb,

248
00:11:05,791 --> 00:11:09,211
so it should be,
"Whom would you like smote?"

249
00:11:10,254 --> 00:11:12,840
And... where am I?

250
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,008
♪ dramatic music playing ♪

251
00:11:18,846 --> 00:11:20,848
Pinky, I've done it!

252
00:11:20,848 --> 00:11:24,017
In this timeline,
I've taken over the world!

253
00:11:24,768 --> 00:11:27,396
‐ Why, of course you have, your Magicksy.

254
00:11:27,396 --> 00:11:29,314
Your Magicksy Brain.

255
00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:31,984
Magic Brain.
BRAIN: Droid!

256
00:11:31,984 --> 00:11:34,319
[droid whirring]
Smite...

257
00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:36,613
everyone in Colorado!

258
00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:38,240
I really do hate Colorado.

259
00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:41,076
I believe I'll stay in this timeline.
[rumbling, Pinky groans]

260
00:11:41,076 --> 00:11:45,038
Besides, any more jumps and the cosmos
may tear itself apart entirely.

261
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:46,999
PINKY [in demonic voice]:
Yes, stay.

262
00:11:46,999 --> 00:11:48,917
Remain my puppet.

263
00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:50,627
[screaming]

264
00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:54,548
Oh! What have you

265
00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:57,467
got there, Brain?

266
00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:59,261
♪

267
00:11:59,261 --> 00:12:00,637
[screaming]

268
00:12:01,972 --> 00:12:03,807
[portals zapping]

269
00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:06,894
[maniacal laughter]

270
00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:09,605
[screaming]
[laughs]

271
00:12:11,148 --> 00:12:12,316
Ah!

272
00:12:12,316 --> 00:12:16,195
The void can't hold me, Brain!

273
00:12:16,778 --> 00:12:19,239
[Pinky screaming]

274
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:20,741
[grunts]

275
00:12:20,741 --> 00:12:22,868
[straining]

276
00:12:22,868 --> 00:12:25,037
[groaning]

277
00:12:25,037 --> 00:12:25,996
[grunts]

278
00:12:25,996 --> 00:12:27,915
♪

279
00:12:27,915 --> 00:12:30,042
‐ It's pointless.

280
00:12:31,752 --> 00:12:34,671
Utterly futile. The universe
is doomed, unless...

281
00:12:35,214 --> 00:12:38,342
unless this thing never
existed in the first place.

282
00:12:38,342 --> 00:12:40,969
I have to go back to
before I ever built it!

283
00:12:46,016 --> 00:12:49,019
♪

284
00:12:49,019 --> 00:12:51,688
Pinky. You have... depth!

285
00:12:51,688 --> 00:12:54,316
‐ Thanks. Ooh! Brain, you look slim!

286
00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:56,902
‐ Holy matrimony.

287
00:12:56,902 --> 00:12:59,696
It's three‐dimensional Euclidean space!

288
00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:02,866
This is it. The moment that I powered up

289
00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:04,576
that infernal gizmo.

290
00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:05,619
Ow!

291
00:13:05,619 --> 00:13:08,497
♪

292
00:13:08,497 --> 00:13:09,748
[explosion]
Ah!

293
00:13:10,916 --> 00:13:12,626
Pinky, get the device!

294
00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:14,211
‐ Righto!

295
00:13:17,089 --> 00:13:18,841
[whirring]

296
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:21,176
[gasp, screaming]

297
00:13:21,176 --> 00:13:22,886
[Brain gasps]
[Pinky screams]

298
00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:24,888
♪

299
00:13:24,888 --> 00:13:26,014
[Brain groans]

300
00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:28,934
‐ Pinky, it must be destroyed!

301
00:13:29,643 --> 00:13:30,561
[rattling]

302
00:13:32,271 --> 00:13:34,189
‐ Narf! [grunts]

303
00:13:34,189 --> 00:13:37,192
‐ That's it, Pinky! Almost there!
[whimpering]

304
00:13:37,192 --> 00:13:38,986
Ah!
‐ Whoa!

305
00:13:38,986 --> 00:13:39,945
[grunts]

306
00:13:39,945 --> 00:13:41,113
‐ Pinky, no!

307
00:13:41,113 --> 00:13:44,116
[wind howling]
‐ Narf!

308
00:13:44,116 --> 00:13:45,117
[gasps]

309
00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:49,454
Whee!

310
00:13:50,205 --> 00:13:51,582
[screaming]

311
00:13:56,086 --> 00:13:57,588
[basketball buzzer]

312
00:13:57,588 --> 00:14:00,591
[crowd cheering]
[basketball shoes squeaking]

313
00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:06,388
‐ You're watching sports? [grunts]
[gasps]

314
00:14:06,388 --> 00:14:09,766
‐ Pinky! Oh, I thought I'd lost you!

315
00:14:10,225 --> 00:14:12,603
‐ That's funny. I thought I'd lost
myself the other day.

316
00:14:12,603 --> 00:14:15,480
I was in the cereal aisle
for over four hours

317
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:18,650
before I worked out I was
actually in the cupboard.

318
00:14:18,650 --> 00:14:20,986
ANNOUNCER [TV]:
And... it's good!

319
00:14:20,986 --> 00:14:23,864
[buzzer]
Fluke wins, 73‐72!

320
00:14:23,864 --> 00:14:26,700
‐ No tears in space?
No dreadful Pinky soap operas?

321
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:29,161
No Lovecraftian horrors? [sighs]

322
00:14:29,161 --> 00:14:31,079
Everything is back to normal.

323
00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:34,416
‐ Yay! What's back to normal, Brain?
[Brain chuckles]

324
00:14:34,416 --> 00:14:36,710
‐ You don't remember any of it, do you?

325
00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:39,296
You were quite the hero, my old friend.

326
00:14:39,296 --> 00:14:41,798
Come! We must prepare for tomorrow night.

327
00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:43,550
‐ What are we gonna do
tomorrow night, Brain?

328
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:44,635
[deep inhale]

329
00:14:45,677 --> 00:14:46,970
‐ You know what?

330
00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:48,889
Anything that you want to do.

331
00:14:48,889 --> 00:14:52,100
‐ Why don't we take a night off and go
to that "paint our own pottery class"

332
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:53,810
like our therapist told us to?

333
00:14:54,102 --> 00:14:55,103
‐ No.

334
00:14:55,646 --> 00:14:57,606
We're taking over the world!

335
00:14:57,606 --> 00:15:00,275
‐ That's a terrific idea, Brain.

336
00:15:00,275 --> 00:15:03,445
♪

337
00:15:07,032 --> 00:15:10,035
♪

338
00:15:12,037 --> 00:15:14,331
♪

339
00:15:14,998 --> 00:15:17,626
‐ Yeoman Wakko, man the poop deck!

340
00:15:17,626 --> 00:15:19,711
[laughs] Oh, this nautical sketch

341
00:15:19,711 --> 00:15:22,130
was a great idea to get
around the censors.

342
00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:23,841
MAN:
Enough of this scuttlebutt!

343
00:15:23,841 --> 00:15:26,093
‐ [giggles] He said scuttle.

344
00:15:28,262 --> 00:15:29,263
[growls]

345
00:15:29,263 --> 00:15:31,139
Uh oh. It's the captain.

346
00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:33,600
Looks like we're in
for a stern talking to.

347
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,686
‐ Sailing pun! Somebody keep count.

348
00:15:35,686 --> 00:15:37,729
There's gonna be too many of these.

349
00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:39,565
‐ Do you have any idea who I am?!

350
00:15:39,565 --> 00:15:41,483
‐ If the writers are
following the formula,

351
00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:44,820
I'd say you're an unlikable jerk
in need of an ego check.

352
00:15:44,820 --> 00:15:48,031
‐ Ego check?
Why would Christopher Columbus

353
00:15:48,031 --> 00:15:49,366
need an ego check?

354
00:15:49,366 --> 00:15:51,869
‐ Why do you have so many
books from the future?

355
00:15:51,869 --> 00:15:55,163
‐ Because it was a long flight
from 500 years from now.

356
00:15:55,163 --> 00:15:57,666
‐ It's not fair to make me do math

357
00:15:57,666 --> 00:15:59,960
and history at the same time!

358
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,962
‐ So, apparently he got lost,

359
00:16:01,962 --> 00:16:03,672
thought South America was Asia,

360
00:16:03,672 --> 00:16:06,133
and claimed it for Spain even
though it was already inhabited

361
00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:07,718
by millions of people?

362
00:16:07,718 --> 00:16:09,928
‐ Then he starved those millions of people

363
00:16:09,928 --> 00:16:12,055
'cause he thought they
were hiding gold from him?

364
00:16:12,055 --> 00:16:14,183
[groans]
‐ Let me see that!

365
00:16:14,183 --> 00:16:15,434
♪

366
00:16:15,434 --> 00:16:17,978
He enslaved how many people?

367
00:16:17,978 --> 00:16:19,771
He was arrested by who?

368
00:16:19,771 --> 00:16:22,107
And he has his own holiday why?

369
00:16:22,107 --> 00:16:24,526
Oh, there's just too much
bad stuff in here

370
00:16:24,526 --> 00:16:26,653
to fit into a single sketch.

371
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:29,656
‐ But, it just might fit in a song!

372
00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:32,242
♪ In Fourteen Hundred and Ninety Two ♪

373
00:16:32,242 --> 00:16:34,703
♪ Columbus sailed the ocean blue ♪

374
00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:35,704
‐ Oh yeah!

375
00:16:35,704 --> 00:16:37,998
♪ He had three ships,
he sailed from Spain ♪

376
00:16:37,998 --> 00:16:40,375
♪ A first rate hat atop
a second rate brain ♪

377
00:16:40,375 --> 00:16:42,544
‐ ♪ He sailed by night, he sailed by day ♪

378
00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:44,838
♪ Will somebody tell him
he sailed the wrong way? ♪

379
00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:47,591
‐ ♪ He's cruel,
he rules through thuggery ♪

380
00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:50,219
‐ ♪ Yet he's praised for
the new world's discovery ♪

381
00:16:50,219 --> 00:16:52,513
ALL:
♪ Are we sure he deserves his own day? ♪

382
00:16:52,513 --> 00:16:56,308
♪ We'd have found this stuff anyway ♪

383
00:16:57,184 --> 00:16:58,477
[growling]

384
00:16:58,477 --> 00:17:00,604
‐ I'm terrible at reading people.

385
00:17:00,604 --> 00:17:03,482
Is he mad at us
or passionately in love with us?

386
00:17:03,482 --> 00:17:06,693
‐ I will give‐a you a right seeing to!

387
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:08,278
‐ Mm. I still can't tell.

388
00:17:08,987 --> 00:17:11,281
‐ Desist with this poppycock at once!

389
00:17:11,281 --> 00:17:13,825
‐ Oh. Aren't you gonna say,
"good night, everybody"?

390
00:17:13,825 --> 00:17:15,202
‐ Nah, too easy.

391
00:17:15,202 --> 00:17:17,454
I'm trying to keep them above board.

392
00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:20,123
Seriously loving these
nautical puns though.

393
00:17:20,123 --> 00:17:21,750
‐ Seize them!

394
00:17:22,626 --> 00:17:25,045
‐ Uh oh. We're in hot water now.

395
00:17:25,754 --> 00:17:28,382
‐ Eh, what's he gonna do?
Make us walk the plank?

396
00:17:28,382 --> 00:17:30,509
Feed us to the sharks? Leave us stranded

397
00:17:30,509 --> 00:17:32,886
on a desert island? Ha!

398
00:17:32,886 --> 00:17:35,889
♪ dramatic music playing♪

399
00:17:36,765 --> 00:17:39,184
‐ [laughs] Goodbye! Happy getting eaten!

400
00:17:39,184 --> 00:17:41,186
[laughter]

401
00:17:43,772 --> 00:17:46,942
‐ Oh, we may have sailed too close
to the wind on this one, sibs.

402
00:17:47,609 --> 00:17:49,278
‐ That thing's not getting old.

403
00:17:49,278 --> 00:17:52,406
‐ Alright, sibs, all hands on deck! Sorry.

404
00:17:52,406 --> 00:17:54,032
We're up the creek without a paddle here.

405
00:17:54,491 --> 00:17:56,618
My bad. So, somebody's gotta bail us out.

406
00:17:57,244 --> 00:18:00,080
I'm starting to think this pun
counter may have been a bad idea.

407
00:18:00,622 --> 00:18:02,457
‐ I think I can get us off the hook!

408
00:18:02,457 --> 00:18:03,667
‐ Wakko!

409
00:18:03,667 --> 00:18:06,086
‐ Come on!
‐ Genuine mistake.

410
00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:08,380
Yakko, your slacks, if you please.

411
00:18:08,380 --> 00:18:10,007
[struggling]

412
00:18:10,007 --> 00:18:13,135
‐ Cured meats were a staple of
the mariner's diet in the age of sail,

413
00:18:13,135 --> 00:18:16,597
so having baloney in one's slacks
is historically accurate.

414
00:18:21,185 --> 00:18:24,146
Okay, good. But, we're still stuck
on this island, high and dr‐‐

415
00:18:24,855 --> 00:18:26,315
I mean between the devil and the deep bl‐‐

416
00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:28,150
No, dead in the wa‐‐

417
00:18:28,525 --> 00:18:29,860
Are there any sayings

418
00:18:29,860 --> 00:18:32,237
which aren't based on sailing?!
‐ Don't worry, boys.

419
00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:33,405
I've got an idea!

420
00:18:33,405 --> 00:18:36,408
♪

421
00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:41,163
I knew that mandatory
WB employee screening

422
00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:43,165
of Aquaman would pay off!

423
00:18:44,583 --> 00:18:48,462
‐ Hey, sibs! We're so meta
that the shark jumped us!

424
00:18:48,462 --> 00:18:50,839
‐ Oh, knock it off, Yakov!

425
00:18:53,175 --> 00:18:55,928
‐ Well, according to this map
I drew [laughs],

426
00:18:55,928 --> 00:18:59,556
Asia should be...

427
00:18:59,556 --> 00:19:01,433
Well, it can't be far now.

428
00:19:01,433 --> 00:19:04,645
Uh, I'm going to say
about‐a five minutes maybe?

429
00:19:04,645 --> 00:19:07,523
[laughs] How big could
the Atlantic Ocean possibly be?

430
00:19:07,523 --> 00:19:09,441
SHIPMATE:
Land ahoy!

431
00:19:09,441 --> 00:19:11,443
‐ Land ahoy? Ah!

432
00:19:11,443 --> 00:19:13,862
I was‐a hoping for Asia ahoy.

433
00:19:13,862 --> 00:19:15,822
Wait, what is Asia made of?

434
00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:17,616
‐ Um, land?

435
00:19:17,616 --> 00:19:20,994
‐ Land, of course! Asia is made of land!

436
00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:23,288
[laughing] I've done it!

437
00:19:23,288 --> 00:19:24,581
♪

438
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,044
I, Christopher Columbus,

439
00:19:29,044 --> 00:19:32,005
hereby proclaim this land Asia!

440
00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:34,049
DOT:
Not even close, Columbozo.

441
00:19:34,049 --> 00:19:36,593
‐ Asia's about 8,000 miles that‐a‐way.

442
00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:38,971
‐ And it's further by ship.
That's as the crow flies.

443
00:19:39,888 --> 00:19:42,224
I didn't know that one was nautical,
I swear!

444
00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:43,809
‐ These are the Bahamas.

445
00:19:43,809 --> 00:19:45,477
‐ Well, I still discovered them.

446
00:19:45,477 --> 00:19:47,187
‐ Yeah, about that?

447
00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:49,565
♪ In Fourteen Hundred and Ninety Two ♪

448
00:19:49,565 --> 00:19:51,817
♪ Columbus sailed the ocean, true ♪

449
00:19:51,817 --> 00:19:54,152
DOT: ♪ He wasn't a looker
and less of a charmer ♪

450
00:19:54,152 --> 00:19:56,238
♪ Claimed he'd be the first
man to find the Bahamas ♪

451
00:19:56,238 --> 00:19:58,532
WAKKO:
♪ But this isn't even a new frontier ♪

452
00:19:58,532 --> 00:20:00,617
♪ The Lucayans have
been here 1,000 years ♪

453
00:20:00,617 --> 00:20:03,996
ALL: ♪ Are we sure he deserves
his very own day? ♪

454
00:20:04,538 --> 00:20:06,999
♪ Asia's still half a world away ♪

455
00:20:06,999 --> 00:20:08,292
[wind blowing]

456
00:20:08,292 --> 00:20:10,002
♪

457
00:20:10,002 --> 00:20:11,503
[growling]

458
00:20:11,503 --> 00:20:12,713
[muttering]

459
00:20:12,713 --> 00:20:14,715
‐ Land ahoy!

460
00:20:15,716 --> 00:20:17,134
♪

461
00:20:17,676 --> 00:20:20,596
‐ Oh boy! It's green!

462
00:20:20,596 --> 00:20:23,307
Green land! [gasps]

463
00:20:23,307 --> 00:20:26,018
Have I discovered Greenland?

464
00:20:26,018 --> 00:20:27,603
‐ Well...

465
00:20:27,603 --> 00:20:29,938
[chirping, squawk]

466
00:20:29,938 --> 00:20:32,441
‐ I, Christopher Columbus,

467
00:20:32,441 --> 00:20:35,569
proclaim thee Greenland!

468
00:20:36,778 --> 00:20:39,448
‐ Even further off, Codumbus.
‐ Cuba.

469
00:20:39,448 --> 00:20:42,993
‐ I'm sorry, how do you keep
beating me to these islands anyway?

470
00:20:43,660 --> 00:20:44,578
‐ Shark chariot.

471
00:20:48,498 --> 00:20:50,292
♪

472
00:20:50,959 --> 00:20:54,004
SHIPMATE: Land a‐‐
‐ Just park the boat‐a!

473
00:20:54,004 --> 00:20:57,758
This had better be Asia this time!

474
00:20:59,426 --> 00:21:01,136
‐ But, sir, you're navigating.

475
00:21:01,470 --> 00:21:03,305
[chirp, muffled shriek]

476
00:21:03,305 --> 00:21:05,057
‐ Asia.

477
00:21:05,057 --> 00:21:06,683
‐ Asia is still away‐sia, pal.

478
00:21:06,683 --> 00:21:08,060
‐ This is Hispaniola.

479
00:21:08,060 --> 00:21:11,313
‐ Which is modern day Haiti
and the Republic Dominican.

480
00:21:11,313 --> 00:21:12,731
‐ Don't call it that!

481
00:21:12,731 --> 00:21:15,526
You know who will start
singing you know what.

482
00:21:15,526 --> 00:21:17,402
‐ What was that?
DOT/WAKKO: Nothing!

483
00:21:17,986 --> 00:21:20,322
‐ Enough! Enough‐a! Enough!

484
00:21:20,322 --> 00:21:22,324
I am going back to Spain!

485
00:21:23,951 --> 00:21:26,078
Without‐a you three!

486
00:21:26,078 --> 00:21:27,079
[tires screech]

487
00:21:27,079 --> 00:21:28,580
But‐a believe you me.

488
00:21:28,580 --> 00:21:30,165
I won't‐a give up.

489
00:21:30,165 --> 00:21:33,043
Next time, I depart‐a south southwest,

490
00:21:33,043 --> 00:21:34,753
instead of west southwest.

491
00:21:34,753 --> 00:21:36,296
Straight to Asia!

492
00:21:36,296 --> 00:21:39,424
No local stops on this‐a journey!

493
00:21:39,424 --> 00:21:41,093
‐ Don't you wanna hear our song about

494
00:21:41,093 --> 00:21:43,929
the 750,000 indigenous people
who already live here,

495
00:21:43,929 --> 00:21:45,639
you big phony?
‐ Yeah.

496
00:21:45,639 --> 00:21:49,393
I spent all night coming up
with a rhyme for Arawak/Taíno.

497
00:21:49,393 --> 00:21:50,936
[groans]

498
00:21:50,936 --> 00:21:52,604
‐ Let's do it anyway!

499
00:21:52,604 --> 00:21:54,898
ALL: ♪ Columbus sailed the ocean blue ♪

500
00:21:54,898 --> 00:21:57,234
♪ He had three ships, now he has two ♪

501
00:21:57,234 --> 00:21:59,361
DOT:
♪ Through a bunch of nautical accidents ♪

502
00:21:59,361 --> 00:22:01,947
♪ He claimed lands
filled with inhabitants ♪

503
00:22:01,947 --> 00:22:04,157
WAKKO:
♪ Next trip, he'll say he finds Jamaica ♪

504
00:22:04,157 --> 00:22:06,285
♪ Sure this time that it's in Asia ♪

505
00:22:06,285 --> 00:22:09,663
YAKKO:
♪ Think that's uncomplimentary ♪

506
00:22:09,663 --> 00:22:11,957
♪ Try reading his Wiki entry ♪

507
00:22:11,957 --> 00:22:14,209
ALL:
♪ He's the captain of endless mistakes ♪

508
00:22:14,209 --> 00:22:16,503
♪ One of history's luckiest fakes ♪

509
00:22:16,503 --> 00:22:18,422
♪ Are we sure he deserves his own day? ♪

510
00:22:18,422 --> 00:22:21,758
♪ He never even set foot in ♪

511
00:22:21,758 --> 00:22:25,637
♪ The USA ♪

512
00:22:30,642 --> 00:22:32,561
[grunting]

513
00:22:32,561 --> 00:22:34,313
[squeaking, chirping]

514
00:22:34,313 --> 00:22:36,023
‐ Ouch‐a! Mama mia!

515
00:22:36,023 --> 00:22:38,358
‐ Oh. Guess we really knocked
the wind out of his sails.

516
00:22:39,276 --> 00:22:40,777
♪

517
00:22:40,777 --> 00:22:43,906
You've done well, little pun counter.

518
00:22:43,906 --> 00:22:45,115
[dog barking]

519
00:22:45,115 --> 00:22:47,242
But the sketch is over now. You're free.

520
00:22:47,242 --> 00:22:49,828
[panting, barking, whining]

521
00:22:49,828 --> 00:22:51,705
‐ Go on. Get outta here.

522
00:22:51,705 --> 00:22:52,956
[barking]

523
00:22:52,956 --> 00:22:54,666
♪

524
00:22:57,586 --> 00:22:58,670
ALL:
Wow.

525
00:23:01,632 --> 00:23:02,382
Uh...

526
00:23:03,133 --> 00:23:04,676
♪

527
00:23:04,676 --> 00:23:07,221
‐ Guess he couldn't swim.
‐ And now, he's dead in the water.

528
00:23:07,221 --> 00:23:08,555
[ding]

529
00:23:12,142 --> 00:23:15,145
♪

530
00:23:18,106 --> 00:23:19,691
[machines beeping]

531
00:23:19,691 --> 00:23:22,194
‐ In the overcrowded,
but highly profitable

532
00:23:22,194 --> 00:23:24,071
marketplace of prescription drugs,

533
00:23:24,071 --> 00:23:26,114
we here at Acme Pharmaceuticals

534
00:23:26,114 --> 00:23:28,992
have decided to add
another one to the mix.

535
00:23:28,992 --> 00:23:30,285
What's today's new drug, Dot?

536
00:23:30,744 --> 00:23:32,746
[crank, whirring]

537
00:23:32,746 --> 00:23:34,831
[beeping, clicking]

538
00:23:34,831 --> 00:23:36,583
[tape chirping]

539
00:23:38,043 --> 00:23:41,088
‐ Do you have trouble telling time?
Try Zobroflex.

540
00:23:41,088 --> 00:23:44,341
Just one every 15 minutes tells
you when it's been 15 minutes.

541
00:23:44,341 --> 00:23:47,261
‐ I just took one 15 minutes ago!

542
00:23:47,261 --> 00:23:49,096
Wow, it's working already!

543
00:23:49,096 --> 00:23:50,556
‐ What are the side effects, Dot?

544
00:23:50,556 --> 00:23:53,684
‐ Let's see. Uh oh. Headaches...

545
00:23:54,142 --> 00:23:55,811
[groans]
sweating...

546
00:23:55,811 --> 00:23:57,980
[panting]
blurred vision...

547
00:23:57,980 --> 00:23:59,481
[groans]
dry mouth...

548
00:23:59,481 --> 00:24:00,607
[sighs]

549
00:24:01,441 --> 00:24:03,652
rapid and irreversible aging...

550
00:24:04,611 --> 00:24:06,071
permanent fedora...

551
00:24:06,989 --> 00:24:08,448
penguin teeth,

552
00:24:08,448 --> 00:24:10,492
one long hair in your armpit,
[yelps]

553
00:24:10,492 --> 00:24:12,119
restless legs...

554
00:24:13,453 --> 00:24:15,205
and fear of clocks!

555
00:24:15,789 --> 00:24:17,124
[screech]

556
00:24:17,124 --> 00:24:19,626
‐ The clocks have faces!

557
00:24:19,626 --> 00:24:21,837
[screaming]

558
00:24:21,837 --> 00:24:23,714
‐ Eh, he'll be fine in 15 minutes.

559
00:24:23,714 --> 00:24:26,884
‐ Ask your doctor,
or open‐minded veterinarian,

560
00:24:26,884 --> 00:24:29,595
if Zobroflex is right for you.

561
00:24:32,639 --> 00:24:35,642
♪