Ahoy!
This time on Roadkill, new meaning for
the word boat launch.
-Let's go! -[whoops]
I cannot see anything.
[rock music playing]
We are in frigid Kansas City, Kansas,
and this is going to be another Roadkill episode
where Mike picks the destination, I pick the car.
I think our greatest example of that is
when we did the lowrider.
I really hope this lives up to that 'cause...
This is going to be potentially better.
I'm gonna laugh more.
-[exclaims] Whoa. -[laughs]
I thought we were going over.
[laughing]
I don't know if we're gonna laugh as much,
we're gonna suffer more, but this is an absolute moment
of brotherly love because this is something
you've always wanted to do.
-Are we riding a motorcycle? -Oh.
-It's going to be good. -Oh, God.
You ready for me to pull out the car?
I feel like your emphasis on car tells me
there's a sidecar involved and a motorcycle,
-and we're freezing all the way to Indianapolis. -Ish.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
We're driving to Indianapolis because we need to get to
the Performance Racing Industry Trade Show.
It's like 450 miles. Keep that in mind.
It's 30 degrees outside.
-Yeah, it's cold. -What did you do to us?
Ready?
Oh, my God.
Please don't be a motorcycle.
Oh, my God.
[horn tooting]
[laughs]
Oh, my God.
Did you steal this from a theme park?
Isn't it great?
Tell me it floats.
I knew that was going to be the first question.
Oh, my God.
-This is incredibly... -Isn't it the greatest?
...bad, and I love it.
And it has a CD player and... Oh, Nashville sound.
-All right, cool. -Country music.
Wow.
So this is a 2010 Nissan Versa,
arguably the worst rental car I've ever had.
And the boat is a '57 Glass Craft,
not Chris-Craft, not Glasspar, Glass Craft.
-Wait, it is crap, all right. -Holy crap.
Dude, it literally has '57 Chevy tail fins
-and moon discs and... -And glitter.
Tell me it floats.
Tell me we're going straight to a lake.
[David] Nope.
No amount of Flex Seal makes this float.
Well, challenge accepted.
-Wow, does the outboard work? -I don't know.
So homeboy took a compact car and put a boat body on it.
This has the crappy CV transmission
-that doesn't actually shift. -[David] It doesn't.
It's too old for that.
It is actually a four-speed automatic.
The engine, depending on what model this was,
is either a 1.6 with 107 horsepower
or a 1.8 with 122 horsepower.
[Mike] Oh, so it needs 100 shot, and we can double the power.
[David] Yeah.
It has a parking brake, so it might do burnouts.
Oh, well, let's find out.
And we're going to freeze.
Oh, this is a convertible.
-I just noticed that right now. -It's not a convertible.
That would imply that it has a top that you can fold up.
Oh, has this ever been on the highway?
I don't think this is going to make the trip.
Ish.
But the seat reclines, which means I could get
low enough where maybe it won't matter.
And the heater works.
-And you can get low. -And I can get low.
Yeah.
It's 27 degrees in Indy right now.
-[David] Uh-huh. -[Mike] But it's not snowing.
-[engine starts] -Oh, man.
I guess we're going to Indy.
Let's go.
-Oh, it's heavy. -Yeah.
It rides pretty good.
Brakes work.
Oh, dude, tires crashed. All right.
It's like a new car.
Can you adjust the rearview mirror? I can't reach it.
I feel like this windshield is maybe not in
the stock location.
Yeah.
-Down. -Oh, perfect.
[engine grinding]
That's weird.
Oh, maybe don't do that again.
All the lights are on the dash, dude.
Well, yeah, they removed all the airbags
and all sorts of stuff, so that's going to happen.
That noise sounded like the mechanical fan hitting something,
but there shouldn't be a mechanical fan on this.
-Yeah. -[engine grinding]
They put like a fart valve on this?
It looks like it's smoking, but I think that's just steam.
-Look out the back. -Ready?
Okay.
[engine revs]
-Yeah, let's go steam. Steam sounds good. -Yeah.
That's because it's freezing outside.
Dude, just hearing that noise and staring at the light
on the front of this thing is just a trip.
♪ Sailing, sailing over the ocean blue ♪
Can you imagine taking this boat in the ocean?
I don't think you'd want to go in the ocean with this.
Maybe a small pond or a lake.
Hey, whatever floats your boat, right?
Oh, listen to you with the dad jokes.
Oh, man, it's... I've got a sinking feeling about this.
-Oh, my God. -Yeah.
You've had weeks to sit there
and write these down, look at them, prepare them.
Dude, this is gonna be an anchor episode for us.
I expect nothing less than 47 puns per day
-on this episode from you, okay? -Yeah, I know.
I know, you're just fishing for the jokes.
Did you know that an alligator will live to 100 years old?
Which means the odds of him seeing you later
are pretty good.
I knew you would love the boat so that
you could talk about boats the whole episode.
I knew you would love for me to talk about boats
the whole episode.
That's what we're here for, because there's not much else to do.
I think we've explored the limits of action on this,
unless I can get the parking brake to go.
-Oh, no, not at all. -No?
Yeah, you haven't grabbed the lever in the middle here.
-Yeah. -We haven't stopped and done any burnouts.
Right.
We haven't made a roof for it yet in the snow.
We got miles of mayhem ahead of us.
It's 450 miles to Indy.
-So right on whatever? -The 10.
-Highway 10. -Right on 10.
Here we go.
Let's see how she corners.
-[laughs] -Oh, it spun the tire.
Dude, we need a snow-filled parking lot.
-I bet this thing is a hoot. -I agree.
Now the breeze is a little oppressive.
-We're going 65. -Try 80.
I want to see how bad it gets.
It's floored.
-Yeah, that's 70. -70.
75. We're good.
That's 80 right there.
That's a little cold.
[David] I did get us battery-powered underwear.
[Mike] Oh, good. We don't have to share one, do we?
-No. -Okay, thank you.
[David] I may need to get the homeless blanket, though.
Yeah.
I think we're going to have to employ quite a few
different methods for staying alive in this one.
I feel like this is a pretty successful
first test drive of the vehicle.
[David] It's raining now.
-It is actually raining. -Ooh, '69 Impala.
-I know what to do with that. -[Mike] Supercharger and burnouts?
[David] Yeah.
That's a two-door. It's been sitting a while.
We're 15 miles from a tire shop and a hotel.
[David] Oh.
We can't leave these tires with tread on them, can we?
I don't believe so.
Yeah!
There we go!
Go, boat! Go!
Who says a boat can't do burnouts?
[laughs]
[coughs]
[David] Dual overhead cam action.
This thing has up to 122 horsepower.
[engine revs]
-I don't feel I roasted our tire off enough. -You're right.
[tires screeching]
Maybe you should check behind us before you do that,
just as a tip.
Well, in a remarkable display of responsibility,
we're gonna put new tires on this thing
so we don't careen into a ditch
when it, like, rains, snows, we hit ice.
[Mike] I randomly grab the e-brake on you when you're...
[David] Yeah, that happens, too.
He's already turned the rear tires into stop signs,
grabbing the e-brake on me.
So it's gonna take these guys a couple hours
to get tires on this thing.
I'm looking forward to finding out how they're gonna do that
in the back since the tire's sort of captured
under fiberglass.
[Mike] I'm sure they got a Sawzall or something.
Well, I think we might have gone just
a little bit overboard with the new tires,
but they're done, and I've put on
my electric underwear because it's freezing,
and we're at Lawrence Dragway, which is an abandoned
eighth-mile track here in Lawrence, Kansas,
so we're gonna go check that out.
You want to drive it or walk it?
[Mike] I want to drive it.
-[David] Okay. -[Mike] Yeah.
[engine starts, revs]
Let's go drag racing.
Whoo-hoo!
Oh, tight squeeze.
-So this was a drag strip? -[David] Yep.
Yeah, this opened in the late '50s
and closed in 1986.
I wonder if they closed when they bisected it
with this road.
It's like half of it's on this side of this main road
and half's on the other side.
Look, it's weird.
They only put the concrete blocks where the pavement is.
-They just thought nobody would go off-roading. -Yeah.
[engine revs]
[laughing]
[David] That was quality.
I give that credit.
Maybe it'll go backwards.
-Oh, yeah. -Oh, it is.
-Oh, yeah, we got it. -We did it. We did it.
This is way slicker than whatever we were doing yesterday.
Good thing these tires are new.
I really like the smoke out of the dash.
That's the best part of the whole thing.
[Mike] It's so glad we got new tires.
[David] Yeah.
There. Yes. Doing it.
Oh, we got both of them going now.
Just hook it up.
Oh, we're done.
-That looks like a forest fire. -I feel like we should leave.
Okay.
-Ahoy! -[Mike] That was a great drag strip.
[David] Yeah, I liked it.
The Hannibal Lecter is the key,
'cause now my face is not cold.
[Mike] Ah, and the ladies love it.
The great thing about this thing is even
when you're racing, nobody's going to know.
I don't think you're getting busted.
Like, watch. Here's... A little throttle.
-[engine revs] -Who's going to know?
Indeed.
[yawns]
Do I think they're going to slip?
No, no. I think--
We're just going to ride the tide, you know?
It lifts all ships, bro.
They do good, we do good.
[David singing]
Come on back. I'm gonna back you in.
Come on back.
We figured we had to try a boat ramp, right?
This thing's completely open in the underside.
There's no, like, hull. There's no chance it floats.
Ah. Let's see.
You got about 15 feet of concrete here.
Let me look.
-You can back up more. -I hear the exhaust in the water.
Oh, yeah, exhaust is in.
And stop.
There's about a foot behind you.
You're not quite in the water here.
Hmm, we might want to wet the tires.
I'd stop there.
After that, it goes off into the drink.
So are you winking at me right now?
Hang on.
-What are you saying? -Hang on.
All right, this is going to be a different version
of what we like to call the Roadkill boat launch.
[Mike] Oh, this is working.
[laughs]
Yeah!
Both tires!
No, one tire.
-[Mike] I can't see. -[David] That was amazing.
[Mike] I can't see nothing, dude.
I feel like James Bond. It's just coming out of the dash.
-That was so good. -Wow.
You know what the best part was? Was the exhaust underwater.
Sounded like a motorboat.
-Do it again. -Okay.
[David] Slow.
Okay.
A little more. Stop.
[Mike] There we go. There we go. There we go.
Now we got hooked up.
Steady as she goes.
[whoops]
[coughs]
That was awesome.
-Rockers? Okay. -Yeah.
-[whoops] -Pretty good.
Yeah, baby.
-It does good rockers. -Yeah.
I really like that wet gravel for the parking brake turn.
-You want to try it? -Try it.
-[Mike] Yeah! -[David] We're racing!
-What did you do? -It might have slipped a little bit.
Might have.
-Okay, I'm going to let off. -I think it's unhappy.
It's making less power than it didn't when we arrived.
Uh-huh.
It's probably pretty hot.
[Mike] Yeah, we'll just chill on our way to Indy
since we're still a ways away.
[David] The boat just attracts greatness.
We're on a little country road,
and we stopped at a gas station,
and a guy walks up to us, and he was like,
"Do you want to come check out my wrecking yard?"
Like, do you have old cars? He said, yes, I do.
So here we are.
What is it? Chad's Auto Salvage in Fulton, Missouri.
Mm-hmm.
Indeed. And they have everything here.
Like, look, Grand Marquis wagon.
-Yeah. -Love it.
It's pretty mint, actually.
Parked directly next to an excavator with a turbo.
-[David] Self-evident, right? -[Mike] Yeah.
[David] So if you're not keyed into these,
the chassis on this is the same as the Fox platform Mustangs.
And so you can get everything aftermarket for them.
The irony is people used to buy them
because they were cheaper than Mustangs.
And now they're like worth more than Mustangs
or at least the same.
Yeah, there's something cool about
seeing a station wagon go really fast.
Because when you look at this,
this should be going to church.
It shouldn't be going to the drag strip.
So I dig it.
The interior is mint.
Like they said, it ran at one point,
but it has a real bad fuel system problem.
You know, like you said, if we had a small block Ford
and a a turbo laying around, it would be cool to come back
-and make this thing, you know, fun. -It would.
-Yeah. -I mean, what else could be in here?
[David] So we're going to explore.
And by the way, the mud is Olympic gold medal.
It is slimy.
Might have wore the wrong shoes today.
[Mike] Are we going to trade our perfectly running
and reliable boat car for something that
could let us down down the road?
[David] Would we ever do anything like that?
[Mike] That doesn't sound like us.
[David] I may need shoes before we go to the trade show.
[Mike] Ah, nobody looks at your feet at those deals. Don't worry.
Dude, Aztec.
-It's mint, too. -[David] That is an Aztec.
[Mike] I'm just saying, it's mint.
I've never experienced the Aztec.
[David] He said the good stuff's at the way back.
-You talking about the mud or cars? -The swamp.
I guess the swamp gets worse and the cars get better.
-That's a Vega wagon. -Yes.
Camback.
That's a '66 Nova.
Maybe a '67.
It doesn't have the trunk trim that would tell me.
I'd have to see the front.
-[Mike] Dude, the roof's caved. -[David] It is.
That's a bummer, but that's a valuable car.
People would change the roof on that.
There's some neat stuff here, '56 Ford truck especially.
We like the Galaxy, Camback Vega.
But really, the thing we're most interested in
is the, like, Fox body Marquee wagon.
You're not gonna track that into our ride, are you?
I'm wondering what to do about that.
It's pretty severe.
[Mike] For once, my goal is not burnouts.
It's escape.
-Come on, boo! -Yee-hee-hee!
Goodbye, doggie.
He's smart enough to get out of the way, isn't he?
Yeah.
-Woohoo! -There we go.
Thank you!
Thanks!
Well, that was pretty cool.
I wouldn't say the best stash that we've seen.
No, but you did have some cool stuff.
-It was just so buried in there that, you know. -Yeah.
The wagon was really nice.
[Mike] The wagon, I think, would be cool to come back,
snatch it up, turbo it.
[David]So small block Ford is normal. Everybody LSs those things.
Maybe it needs, like, a small block Mopar.
Or a 4.3 liter V6.
[David] Or a Godzilla.
Oh, yeah, the aluminum 4.3.
Yeah, still sitting in Bostick's.
[David] Imagine how light that would be,
although the rest of the car is not super light.
I mean, it's light, but not featherweight.
Oh, wow, I hear mud hitting everything.
[Mike] Yeah, we got a little debris.
[yawns]
It's colder.
It is colder.
I can tell by the way my thermometer says it's warmer.
Road test info. How do you like it?
-[Mike] Solid day. Yeah. -[David] Yeah?
Oh, dude. 85 miles an hour, allegedly.
Smooth as butter.
I had a great time today.
We reduced our front tire diameter substantially,
which improved our fuel economy, I believe.
We added graphics to the side of this thing.
Yeah, we did.
It just keeps getting better.
This thing is a lot like if you took a 2010 Nissan Versa
and cut the top off. That's all you get.
-Yeah. Yeah. -Yeah.
-Solid burnouts. -It's much more stylish.
Yeah.
Yeah, if we were in a Versa, nobody would care.
It was freezing this morning.
Right now, it's not too bad.
So we're going to stop for the day.
We still have two more days to get to Indy.
I think we need to cover about 130 miles a day.
So tomorrow, more hijinks, hopefully more junkyards.
That would be cool.
It's another freezing morning in another junkyard.
We're at Fenton Auto Salvage in Missouri.
This looks like a super-secret stash.
Gremlin.
Oh, you know I'm all about the Gremlin.
I need more Gremlins. I only have two.
Let's dig in.
I feel like a walking sausage.
You look like Randy from A Christmas Story.
Yeah, that's it.
Should we see if my tongue will stick to a pole?
[Mike] Can't put my arms down.
Gremi.
This is a factory color Gremi that I really like.
-It's like the purplish color. -It's got go fast stripes.
Is it an X?
Is that why the hood's striped?
-It might be a Gremlin X. -X would be a V8 car, right?
[David] Not necessarily. It's just a trim package.
-Ah. -I don't see the X on this one.
What is this?
Saturn? Geo?
Mitsubishi?
I am at a loss, dude.
I don't know what this thing is.
Me too.
Oh, dude, it's a '93 Capri?
Definitely has a Ford steering wheel.
Huh.
[Mike] What a forgettable car.
[David] There's people at home going, "I love that car, man!
How can you not recognize a '93 Capri?"
I recognize I don't need it in my life.
They can have it.
Another Gremlin.
Oh, this one's got the graphics too.
Dude, my electric underwear just kicked in.
Ah, kind of like peeing yourself in the pool.
This one's not as good as the other one.
[David] Yeah, it's a little rusty.
I love the Gremlin.
There's nothing here that we're going to rescue.
[Mike] No.
Well, it's pretty good exploration.
There's nothing here I really need as a project car.
Certainly nothing as good as the Marquee wagon
from yesterday.
-Definitely not. No. -No.
-So far, that's the one. -Yeah.
All right, we got to press on.
We have to get to the PRI show by tomorrow.
It's like 260 miles away.
Can we do it?
Let's find out.
The Nissan has been remarkably reliable up to this point.
[Mike] And impressive.
Well, where are we headed now, St. Louis?
St. Louis.
[Mike] All right.
I was really surprised.
[laughs]
-But I'm stuck. -So am I. Ah!
Ah.
That was the worst segment so far by a lot.
I think we've reached the actual suffering portion of the show.
Just for the record, folks at home,
I have on a short-sleeve T-shirt,
a long-sleeve T-shirt, a hoodie, two jackets,
a beanie, a woman's headband around my chin,
a pair of gloves, and I am still frozen.
I don't even want to get out and put gas in it.
Oh, me neither.
I'm heating my hands.
I will, though, 'cause we've still got another hour to go.
The heater on the Nissan works,
but in the freeway, all the warmth just blows away.
Oh, man.
Whoo. We have an hour to go?
Yeah, another hour.
[David] I'm going to say last night was in the top 10
most miserable days in the history of Roadkill.
-It was chilly. -Yeah, it was pretty bad.
Yeah, I had all the layers.
-Didn't help. -No, not at all.
And so at this point, the episode is degenerated
right to the level of taking you to a town
with a bunch of world's largest,
biggest items like this mousetrap right here
and that golf club right there.
[Mike] Well, we always joke about that.
Like, where do you want to go?
Let's go see the world's biggest ball of yarn.
We never do it, and then we realize
we have to go right past Casey, which has everything.
[David] It's Casey, Illinois.
Apparently, there's this guy, Jim Bolin.
It was like 15 years ago.
He's like, I'm from Casey. I'm going to do something for him.
He builds the world's largest wind chime.
And everyone's like, this is great.
So he just keeps going.
The thing I like about the wind chime
is that it's actually functional.
Like, this doesn't function.
Right?
-You sure? -The wind chime actually, like, makes noise and stuff.
-You didn't push it very hard. -It's pretty cool.
So we're going to drive around and have a look at
some of this stuff.
Oh, that is a huge chair.
Imagine the butt that used to sit in that thing.
This town was founded in the mid-1800s,
and by late 1800s or so, massive oil boom situation
like Rockefeller the whole run.
-I like the pencil. -Pencil's good.
Barber pole, I'm glad to see,
is actually in front of a barber shop.
-And it's functional. -There's the world's largest mailbox.
-That's really funny. -They're waving at us
because we have a boat car and for no other reason.
Is that a bird cage?
Oh, yeah.
That's a large bird cage, but I don't think world's largest.
That's a big key.
It's got a clevis on it, too.
That is the key to happiness.
Giant taco.
[Mike] I'm hungry now. How about you?
All right, we've seen the whole town.
And now we're on our final run,
100 miles to Indy, where, since this thing
hasn't broken down yet, we're going to create
our own situation.
We're going to choose our own disaster.
This is 36 miles an hour. It's already cold.
Yep, there we go.
My underwear is not kicking in.
Mine are way too hot.
Somehow wind comes up from the floor.
I think there's holes under our seats.
Is there a yellow jacket behind us?
Yeah.
I want to stuff it right here under my seat.
Oh, God, so much better.
Yeah, that just stopped all the air.
You might want to do the same.
Didn't work.
I think my wind is coming from the firewall.
At this point in the show, I know that you, like us,
have noticed the disappointing reliability of the Nissan Versa
on which the boat is based.
We plan to challenge that reliability with
nitrous oxide.
Here's how that's going to work.
First, we're going to have a drag race here
and we have acquired a 2021 Nissan Versa.
Not the same car. It is the same 1.6 liter engine.
It is the higher output version that we have here,
but it does have the disadvantage of
the CVT.
The constantly variable transmission
which means constantly awful transmission.
Speaking of constantly awful...
we do have our own version of The Stig.
We call him The Stink.
Yes, it is producer Taylor ready to drive
the 2021 versus Mike Finnegan in the boat.
I think you know how this is going to end.
And once it does end, we're going to go to
the hose on the boat. Here we go.
Three, two.
[airhorn blows]
-Oh, got the hose on. -Definitely treed him.
Go, Tar, go.
-Oh, we're running away from that pile. -Go, Tar.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hit the hazards.
Oh, brakes on everything. You got nothing.
-Wow. -That could have been a lot more impressive.
We might have to go again. Let's give him the go.
-Give him the go? -Yeah, give him the jump.
All right.
You hear him staging it?
[laughing]
[engines revving]
You ready to go again?
[Taylor] I am.
Three, two...
[airhorn blows]
-Oh, man, you just... -Run with him.
Run with him. Run with him.
Oh, we're running away from it.
Oh, no, now he's starting to catch up.
That's because I let off the gas.
[both] Still won.
Whoa!
-That was my curve I was... -Racing back.
...wondering about.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Where's the hazards?
We win.
[tires screeching]
That is neat.
We might have wore out our e-brake.
Maybe.
-Sorry, Stink. -All right.
You've been fired.
[laughs]
[David] I'm kind of surprised this won.
I would have thought the technology
would have improved.
I know.
That's got to make more power than this.
This is 107.
That's 122, but I guess it's just that much more heavy,
-and the CVT sucks. -Wow.
Have you ever driven one?
-No. -It's like driving a loose converter.
It's just... [imitates revving] It never shifts.
That's two rounds for the boat,
which honestly shocked us.
And so now we're going to throw The Stink out
of the seat and I'm going to get in and see if I can do better.
Maybe he had the parking brake on the whole time.
That's possible.
Freiberger, are you ready?
Ready.
All right, Mason, give us a three count
and then blast the horn.
[Mason] Three, two...
[airhorn blows]
I got the hole shot.
-Man, he's way out front. -Oh, yeah.
-Gas is full.
Skip the hazards.
You ain't got nothing.
-Wow. -Woo-hoo.
The boat cannot be beaten.
All right, he obviously got the jump on me there.
But still, the boat is clearly faster than this pile.
I can't even believe that.
Yeah.
Victory is mine.
[tires screeching]
Ha!
I feel like we need nitrous now.
I would like to let the record show
that not only did I tree him, I beat him to the finish line
and gave him the hazards and gave him the womp, womp, womp.
Yeah, you did great.
You got the jump on me, but it's still,
that thing's way quicker.
[Mike] Yeah, that just means it needs nitrous.
Maybe this does.
Okay, let's nitrous that car.
I'm 100% in.
All right, I'll get the bottle.
We can just ratchet strap it to the seat
and you just open the bottle as you're driving.
What happens when we blow it up?
We won't.
See, Nissan has engineered that car to work,
whether it's in Death Valley or at the bottom of
a West Virginia coal mine, right?
It's self-sufficient.
It's an electronic fuel injection.
So you just give it some more oxygen.
-It knows. -It knows.
It does the rest.
I'm sure the injectors are not at maximum duty cycle already.
I'm sure that fuel pump was designed for way more flow
than you're getting it.
Let's do this.
Let me tell you a little story about how cool the internet is.
Yesterday, we decided the boat car might not be
as fast as the not-rental car.
And so we decided we needed nitrous for the boat car.
We went on Facebook Marketplace,
found a whole lot of used nitrous bottles for sale,
but nobody that wanted to meet up with us.
Which is weird, I know.
So I called my friend Jonathan,
who says, yeah, I have this trophy that
I won from the King of the Open Road Drag n Drive event,
and it's empty, but you can come borrow it,
fill it, use it on the not-rental car, and then bring it
back to me when you're all done.
So that's what we're going to do.
Thank you, J-Rod, for making a cool event with cool trophies,
and thank you, Jonathan, for loaning us
your nitrous bottle.
Easiest nitrous installation ever. Wait for it.
So step one is to secure the bottle.
And normally, you'd have some brackets
and some bolts and things and drill holes in your car.
But we're not going to do that.
We're just going to put it right here.
And then we're going to secure it,
probably with gaffer's tape and a seatbelt.
Perfect, because Freiburger can reach over here
and crack the valve open when he wants his nitrous.
Then we're just going to shove this into the air box
without even drilling a hole into it and rely on the EFI
in our Nissan to self-adjust
for the extra O2 it's going to get out of this hose.
It's going to be amazing.
Ready when you are.
[David] Do not do this at home.
Ooh, the performance.
-Um, where's the actual inlet? -Right here.
If we take the lid off and zip tie that there,
we can just kind of fog it in the general area, you know?
-In the vicinity. -Oh, look at that.
Let's just zip tie it right here or gaff tape it.
See what we have going on?
It's going to spray out of here and sort of find
its way into the air filter right there.
This is by far the best moment of this episode.
-I'm thoroughly enjoying it. -Yeah, tell your friends.
Just fast forward to the end. It gets great.
I think the folks at home are going to love this, too.
And then we just put that under the lid right there.
-[David] Yeah. -[Mike] Kind of prop it up.
[David] Well, we got a tape. Yeah, that's the key.
See? [laughs]
Do not do this at home or behind
an abandoned warehouse anywhere or to a rental car.
It's not a rental. It's Ernie's.
All right.
There we go.
Just gotta give it a little up.
I think it's probably hitting the, uh, that.
-It'll be okay. See? -See?
-Have fun. -Yep.
We're gonna do this.
Never say that we don't have safety in mind.
Actually, I will give you the actual warning.
Never do this.
Having a nitrous bottle in the seat with you is pretty bad.
Except for this is a closed course,
controlled environment, professional driver.
You ready?
So originally, I just wanted to get to
the PRI show in Indy, and Dave picked this car,
and it turned out to be amazing,
and we suffered all the way here.
Now, all I want in life is to see the rental car
go faster with our, you know, half-cocked nitrous system.
We're literally not giving it any extra fuel,
relying on the Nissan ECU to richen it
when Dave opens that bottle. I hope it works.
-I hope this does something. -About to find out.
-[man] Three, two, one. -[airhorn blows]
[Mike] Oh, I got the hole shot.
I can see the nitrous coming out.
Oh, dude, it's working.
It's working.
He's absolutely beating me.
Oh, my God. That's so cool.
Oh, I killed him.
[laughs]
Dude, 100% worked.
[airhorn blowing]
It sprayed out of the hood, but it's totally working.
Oh, I killed him.
[laughing]
He freight trained me.
I'm a little jealous. I kind of want nitrous now.
[David] Oh, that was awesome.
He treed me bad again, but I passed him.
He was in the car pointing at me, going, look at him go.
Oh, man, that was funny.
And all of the nitrous was spraying out of
the front of the hood.
-That was awesome. -That was genius.
Oh, that's one of my top 10 best moments.
Oh, yeah, it's fine.
It worked!
-Dude! That was awesome! -It totally worked!
Did you see that?
Oh, dude, as soon as you opened it,
you just started going.
And I was like, it's working!
[David] Did you see all the nitrous spraying out from under the hood?
[Mike] Dude, I'm telling you, 100% works.
Boom!
As it turns out, the Nissan Versa's not that bad.
Oh, it's amazing.
And the moral of the story here is, kids,
you can count on Nissan to build a nitrous-ready
automobile.
And a boat-ready automobile.
We just showed you two ways to have huge fun
with worthless cars.
Oh, look at that, it's still frozen right there.
Man, nitrous is awesome.
Speed secret for any vehicle.
And you give the car back to your friend,
unsuspecting friend.
Part of what makes it make power is the fact
that it's cold.
The other part is the fact that the nitrogen
or the nitrous oxide molecule breaks up into
oxygen when it goes under pressure
and heat in the combustion chamber,
and it makes more oxygen so you can burn more fuel,
and the EFI automatically compensates for
a little bit of nitrous and gives you more fuel,
which gives you more power.
Wow, you did such a premium installation job here.
And just like that, slow once again.
And because this is Jonathan's trophy,
it's going to sit on the shelf in his house.
I don't think he wants a full bottle on the shelf,
so I'm just going to empty it out.
[whoops]
Now it's going.
If you find yourself in a situation where you borrow a car
from a good friend, and then you decide
to put nitrous on it, and then you decide to give it back,
always empty the bottle.
And wear gloves when you're doing it,
'cause that exits at really, really cold temperatures.
I think it's like minus, I don't know, 300 or something.
Basically, we made ice.
You don't want that on your skin.
And just like that, the evidence is gone.
All that's left for the episode is to get this pile
to the Performance Racing Industry Trade Show in Indy,
which is not far. I think we can do it.
Oh, we've come this far.
[engine revs]
Let's go.
Ain't never not made it yet.
Might have been a little body rub there.
[David] Finally, we're going to the Performance Racing Industry Trade Show.
It's just a quick cruise over to
the Indianapolis Convention Center.
-PRI, we made it! -Woo!
Only one thing left to do. Park the boat.
All right.
We're good. We're good.
The PRI show is a division of the SEMA show,
but this one is just for hardcore motorsports.
And while we were there, I recorded some episodes
of the new Hot Rod podcast, and one of our guests
was Tony Stewart.
There were race cars and hardcore parts
absolutely everywhere.
But you have to ask yourself...
Have funny car heroes like Ron Capps and Del Worsham
ever driven a boat 450 miles in the dead of winter?
I don't think so.
But that's the kind of gearhead hijinks
you can expect on every single episode of Roadkill.
[whoops]
[David] Be the captain of your own destiny.