1
00:00:07,291 --> 00:00:09,333
-[ Laughing ]
-Shh! Shut up.

2
00:00:10,750 --> 00:00:12,708
Aaah!
Ugh!

3
00:00:12,791 --> 00:00:14,166
[ Laughing ]

4
00:00:14,250 --> 00:00:17,875
Oh!
Hohohohohohoho.

5
00:00:19,666 --> 00:00:21,041
Dudes, come on!

6
00:00:21,125 --> 00:00:22,250
[ Laughing ]

7
00:00:22,333 --> 00:00:24,916
Oho, these guys.

8
00:00:25,708 --> 00:00:27,458
Whoa!
Aah!

9
00:00:27,541 --> 00:00:29,541
Ah!
Dude, is this milk?!

10
00:00:29,625 --> 00:00:32,125
-[ Laughing ]
-Oh, wh-- Oh!

11
00:00:32,208 --> 00:00:35,083
Oho! Wipeout!

12
00:00:35,166 --> 00:00:37,791
<i>Ah!</i>
<i>Dude, is this milk?!</i>

13
00:00:37,875 --> 00:00:39,416
We got you good, man.

14
00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:40,833
That was so epic.

15
00:00:40,916 --> 00:00:42,625
I used to be the prank master
in high school.

16
00:00:42,708 --> 00:00:44,333
I want in
on the action.

17
00:00:44,416 --> 00:00:48,041
Uh, no disrespect, Josh, but I
don't think that's a good idea.

18
00:00:48,125 --> 00:00:49,333
Why?

19
00:00:49,416 --> 00:00:51,583
I mean, we love you, dude,
but pranks are kind of...

20
00:00:51,666 --> 00:00:52,666
a young thing.

21
00:00:52,750 --> 00:00:55,166
And you're kind of...
an old thing.

22
00:00:55,250 --> 00:00:56,500
Yeah, man.

23
00:00:56,583 --> 00:00:58,166
You're so old, if you said
racist stuff,

24
00:00:58,250 --> 00:00:59,958
we'd kind of
just let it slide.

25
00:01:00,041 --> 00:01:01,291
What?
I'm not old.

26
00:01:01,375 --> 00:01:04,500
Would an old person
do this?

27
00:01:06,375 --> 00:01:09,541
Aw! I thought
it was over you guys.

28
00:01:09,625 --> 00:01:11,541
Old as "F."

29
00:01:11,625 --> 00:01:13,625
Ow!
Ugh!

30
00:01:13,708 --> 00:01:20,291
♪♪

31
00:01:20,375 --> 00:01:26,000
♪♪

32
00:01:26,083 --> 00:01:27,916
-Huh huh huh!
-There you go!

33
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,250
-Huh huh!
-Good!

34
00:01:29,333 --> 00:01:32,000
Why are we doing this?

35
00:01:32,083 --> 00:01:34,083
Well, sweetie, some of us
have to learn

36
00:01:34,166 --> 00:01:35,375
how
to defend ourselves

37
00:01:35,458 --> 00:01:37,416
because some of us
ditch each other

38
00:01:37,500 --> 00:01:38,666
in dangerous situations.

39
00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:41,083
What?
I did not ditch you.

40
00:01:42,083 --> 00:01:45,416
I'm gonna catch ya.
I'm gonna catch ya!

41
00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:48,291
[ Both scream ]
Bridgette?

42
00:01:50,458 --> 00:01:52,000
Have you guys seen
a Poliwrath around here?

43
00:01:52,083 --> 00:01:54,041
No one plays
that game anymore!

44
00:01:54,125 --> 00:01:55,541
Hello, ladies!

45
00:01:55,625 --> 00:01:58,333
Glad you're all here 'cause
I have a big announcement.

46
00:01:58,416 --> 00:01:59,875
"Prank-mas came early.

47
00:01:59,958 --> 00:02:01,625
You're invited
to a prank war.

48
00:02:01,708 --> 00:02:03,041
Pranks for playing"?

49
00:02:03,125 --> 00:02:05,125
Ugh, he spent way too long
in the car

50
00:02:05,208 --> 00:02:06,625
coming up
with those puns.

51
00:02:06,708 --> 00:02:08,625
What's this?
It's a prank war!

52
00:02:08,708 --> 00:02:10,625
We're all gonna do pranks
on each other. It'll be fun!

53
00:02:10,708 --> 00:02:11,958
Isn't there some other way
for you

54
00:02:12,041 --> 00:02:13,500
to desperately cling
to your lost youth?

55
00:02:13,583 --> 00:02:16,125
Ugh! I don't cling
to my lost youth!

56
00:02:16,208 --> 00:02:17,458
Mornin',
Mr. Singleton!

57
00:02:17,541 --> 00:02:18,625
Special delivery of those

58
00:02:18,708 --> 00:02:20,708
Crossfire refill pellets
you ordered.

59
00:02:20,791 --> 00:02:22,333
Yeah!
Yeah!

60
00:02:22,416 --> 00:02:24,166
Josh, I occasionally love

61
00:02:24,250 --> 00:02:25,875
that you feel like
you're in high school,

62
00:02:25,958 --> 00:02:27,875
but we've grown
out of doing pranks.

63
00:02:27,958 --> 00:02:29,708
You never grow out
of doing fun things.

64
00:02:29,791 --> 00:02:31,666
Prank war is on!

65
00:02:31,750 --> 00:02:35,541
So I'll just, uh, leave these
by the door then, or...?

66
00:02:35,625 --> 00:02:37,541
♪ Don't stop me now ♪

67
00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:38,875
♪ I'm having such a good time ♪

68
00:02:38,958 --> 00:02:40,083
-Whoa, whoa! Oh!
-Wow.

69
00:02:40,166 --> 00:02:41,541
♪ I'm having a ball ♪

70
00:02:41,625 --> 00:02:43,500
♪ Don't stop me now ♪

71
00:02:43,583 --> 00:02:45,250
Gotcha!

72
00:02:45,333 --> 00:02:47,916
Ugh!
♪ If you wanna have a good
time, just give me a call ♪

73
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,208
♪ Don't stop me now ♪

74
00:02:49,291 --> 00:02:50,916
♪ 'Cause I'm having
a good time ♪

75
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:52,083
♪ Don't stop me now ♪

76
00:02:52,166 --> 00:02:53,750
♪ Yes, I'm having a good time ♪

77
00:02:53,833 --> 00:02:58,083
♪ I don't want to stop at all ♪

78
00:02:58,166 --> 00:03:01,250
♪ Yeah, I'm a rocket ship
on my way to Mars ♪

79
00:03:01,333 --> 00:03:02,750
♪ On a collision course ♪

80
00:03:02,833 --> 00:03:05,208
♪ I am a satellite ♪

81
00:03:05,291 --> 00:03:06,583
♪ I'm out of control ♪

82
00:03:06,666 --> 00:03:09,250
Whoa, whoa!

83
00:03:09,333 --> 00:03:11,083
Aah! Ugh!

84
00:03:11,166 --> 00:03:14,541
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, explode ♪

85
00:03:14,625 --> 00:03:16,166
[ Groaning ]

86
00:03:16,250 --> 00:03:17,750
♪ I'm burnin' through the sky,
yeah, 200 degrees ♪

87
00:03:17,833 --> 00:03:20,416
Prank war!
[ Laughing ]

88
00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:24,208
Somebody get these MF'ing
snakes off this MF'ing stage!

89
00:03:24,291 --> 00:03:26,125
No?
Nobody saw that movie?

90
00:03:26,208 --> 00:03:28,041
Ugh!

91
00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:30,083
[ Crowd cheering ]

92
00:03:33,208 --> 00:03:35,125
-Feeling young yet?
-No.

93
00:03:35,208 --> 00:03:36,500
Do you mind
watching Candice

94
00:03:36,583 --> 00:03:38,125
till Emily and Bridgette
come out?

95
00:03:38,208 --> 00:03:39,291
I'm gonna walk home.

96
00:03:39,375 --> 00:03:40,833
Yeah, man,
I got your back.

97
00:03:40,916 --> 00:03:44,875
But my small talk with children
is real limited!

98
00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:45,958
So...

99
00:03:46,041 --> 00:03:47,875
did you hear that new
Ween album?

100
00:03:50,291 --> 00:03:51,875
-Wah!
-Aah!

101
00:03:51,958 --> 00:03:53,000
Tip?

102
00:03:53,083 --> 00:03:55,000
[ Laughs ] Whoa!
Sweet prank, man.

103
00:03:55,083 --> 00:03:57,083
It's technically
more of a scare.

104
00:03:57,166 --> 00:03:58,541
I've never
gotten you before?

105
00:03:58,625 --> 00:04:00,250
I've been working this corner
for 10 years.

106
00:04:00,333 --> 00:04:01,958
No way!
How old are you?

107
00:04:02,041 --> 00:04:03,291
-32.
-So you're my age

108
00:04:03,375 --> 00:04:05,541
and you're still
having fun pranking people?

109
00:04:05,625 --> 00:04:07,291
Well, I actually
studied scaring

110
00:04:07,375 --> 00:04:08,958
at the Ottawa
Conservatory of --

111
00:04:09,041 --> 00:04:11,166
You got to prank
my friends!

112
00:04:11,250 --> 00:04:12,875
That's them, right there.

113
00:04:12,958 --> 00:04:15,833
♪♪

114
00:04:15,916 --> 00:04:17,500
Mmm...

115
00:04:17,583 --> 00:04:19,041
Mmm!

116
00:04:21,416 --> 00:04:23,750
Oh, my God.
She's so hot.

117
00:04:23,833 --> 00:04:25,041
Hey, that's my wife.

118
00:04:25,125 --> 00:04:27,625
The Japanese woman?
Oh, no, the other one.

119
00:04:27,708 --> 00:04:29,041
Eh, she's okay.

120
00:04:29,125 --> 00:04:32,416
But the Japanese woman
is beautiful.

121
00:04:32,500 --> 00:04:33,500
Bridgette?

122
00:04:33,583 --> 00:04:35,000
I mean, yeah,
she's very pretty...

123
00:04:35,083 --> 00:04:37,333
[ Gasps ]
...and newly divorced.

124
00:04:37,416 --> 00:04:38,625
And you know what else?

125
00:04:38,708 --> 00:04:40,916
She loves getting scared.

126
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,416
-She does?
-Totally.

127
00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:44,916
Hey, do you think maybe
after the scare, you can...

128
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:46,333
introduce me?
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

129
00:04:46,416 --> 00:04:49,125
Just get down.
Enough with the pranks, Josh.

130
00:04:49,208 --> 00:04:50,875
You just got us banned
from that club.

131
00:04:50,958 --> 00:04:54,166
Okay, I can see where you're
coming from, and you're right.

132
00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:55,416
Let's hug it out.

133
00:04:55,500 --> 00:04:57,708
We don't need
to hug it out.

134
00:04:57,791 --> 00:04:59,375
Ehh?

135
00:04:59,458 --> 00:05:02,291
Ah, geez.

136
00:05:02,375 --> 00:05:04,958
-What are y--
-Where are you going?

137
00:05:05,041 --> 00:05:06,875
Do you know how hugs work?

138
00:05:07,166 --> 00:05:09,041
-Aah!
-Aah!

139
00:05:09,125 --> 00:05:11,708
-Huh!
-Huh!

140
00:05:12,166 --> 00:05:15,041
Huh-hu-huh-uh-hu-hu-hu!

141
00:05:18,291 --> 00:05:19,458
The big "C."

142
00:05:19,541 --> 00:05:20,875
It's tough to beat.
-Wh-Whoa.

143
00:05:20,958 --> 00:05:23,833
Th-They punched Bush Guy
so hard he got cancer?

144
00:05:23,916 --> 00:05:25,041
Oh, no!

145
00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:27,541
I always call a coma
"the big C."

146
00:05:27,625 --> 00:05:28,875
You know what?

147
00:05:28,958 --> 00:05:30,625
Why don't you take Candice
to get some crackers?

148
00:05:30,708 --> 00:05:32,208
Ooh! Crackers!
The big "C"!

149
00:05:32,291 --> 00:05:34,000
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,
yes, yes, yes, yes!

150
00:05:34,083 --> 00:05:36,583
Ugh. This will put my PhD
in anthropology

151
00:05:36,666 --> 00:05:39,583
with an emphasis
on Viking history to good use.

152
00:05:39,666 --> 00:05:43,166
Eight years, Emily!
Eight years!

153
00:05:43,250 --> 00:05:44,958
-Freeze! Police!
-[ Gasps ]

154
00:05:45,041 --> 00:05:46,583
Are you the two women
that knocked this

155
00:05:46,666 --> 00:05:48,083
innocent man into a coma?

156
00:05:48,166 --> 00:05:49,458
What?
No!

157
00:05:49,541 --> 00:05:51,333
What are you doing?
I've got a job!

158
00:05:51,416 --> 00:05:53,250
And a kid!
-And a husband!

159
00:05:53,333 --> 00:05:55,083
That's debatable!

160
00:05:55,166 --> 00:05:56,333
Where are you
taking them?

161
00:05:56,416 --> 00:05:58,625
They're going to
a holding cell downtown.

162
00:05:58,708 --> 00:06:00,083
and unless Bush Guy wakes up

163
00:06:00,166 --> 00:06:02,041
and decides not
to press charges,

164
00:06:02,125 --> 00:06:05,000
we're looking
at the big "M."

165
00:06:05,083 --> 00:06:06,375
Murder?!

166
00:06:06,458 --> 00:06:08,333
Oh, actually, that's pretty
close. Manslaughter!

167
00:06:08,416 --> 00:06:10,208
Uhhh.

168
00:06:10,291 --> 00:06:12,375
Come on.

169
00:06:12,458 --> 00:06:16,500
You know, mommy allows me
one candy a day.

170
00:06:16,583 --> 00:06:18,000
Okay, whatever.

171
00:06:18,083 --> 00:06:21,166
And the cycle
of capitalism continues.

172
00:06:23,666 --> 00:06:25,375
Ha!
Prank war!

173
00:06:25,458 --> 00:06:27,833
I'm not supposed
to have candy!

174
00:06:27,916 --> 00:06:30,375
Okay. You got me?
Pfft.

175
00:06:31,750 --> 00:06:33,916
A-Are you...
Oh!

176
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:35,875
Oh, God!
Aah!

177
00:06:35,958 --> 00:06:38,500
Hey! Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!

178
00:06:38,583 --> 00:06:40,416
Aah!
Candice, be careful!

179
00:06:41,625 --> 00:06:43,958
I pranked my way into this.

180
00:06:44,041 --> 00:06:45,750
Maybe I can prank my way out.

181
00:06:47,291 --> 00:06:49,500
Hmm.

182
00:06:49,583 --> 00:06:51,458
Hmm.

183
00:06:51,541 --> 00:06:53,041
H--
-Whoa, whoa, whoa!

184
00:06:53,125 --> 00:06:54,458
Good Lord!

185
00:06:54,541 --> 00:06:56,625
Hammers are for amnesia.

186
00:06:56,708 --> 00:06:58,500
Yah!
Aah!

187
00:06:58,583 --> 00:07:00,750
[ Breathing heavily ]

188
00:07:00,833 --> 00:07:03,375
Aah! Aah!

189
00:07:04,708 --> 00:07:06,833
I've got a family!

190
00:07:07,583 --> 00:07:10,666
♪♪

191
00:07:10,750 --> 00:07:13,333
[ Camera shutter clicking ]

192
00:07:13,416 --> 00:07:17,916
♪♪

193
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:19,916
Oh, man.
Oh, man, oh, man.

194
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,416
Relax, Em.
This is just another prank.

195
00:07:22,500 --> 00:07:23,708
It's all fake.

196
00:07:23,791 --> 00:07:25,333
I can't believe Josh went
through all of this

197
00:07:25,416 --> 00:07:26,625
just to feel young again.

198
00:07:26,708 --> 00:07:28,000
It's so sad.

199
00:07:28,083 --> 00:07:29,916
Alex and I had better
production value

200
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,291
on our bedroom
role play.

201
00:07:31,375 --> 00:07:32,833
I mean, look at this.

202
00:07:32,916 --> 00:07:35,875
This woman couldn't look
more "stereotypical prisoner."

203
00:07:35,958 --> 00:07:39,000
Is that real?

204
00:07:39,083 --> 00:07:41,041
-Is this real?
-Aah!

205
00:07:41,125 --> 00:07:43,000
Oh, my God!
It's real!

206
00:07:43,083 --> 00:07:45,541
It's not a prank!
This is not a prank!

207
00:07:45,625 --> 00:07:49,833
[ Screaming ]

208
00:07:49,916 --> 00:07:51,291
How long until
Josh gets here?

209
00:07:51,375 --> 00:07:53,708
He's probably not coming!
This is our life now!

210
00:07:53,791 --> 00:07:55,833
Stupid prank war!

211
00:07:57,416 --> 00:07:58,541
I'm sorry, Bush Guy.

212
00:07:58,625 --> 00:07:59,750
This is all my fault.

213
00:07:59,833 --> 00:08:01,416
Pranking's
a young man's game.

214
00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:02,833
Now you're gonna die,

215
00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:04,833
and I've ruined everything
for Emily and Bridgette.

216
00:08:04,916 --> 00:08:06,833
Ohh...

217
00:08:06,916 --> 00:08:08,666
Huh?
Bridgette?

218
00:08:08,750 --> 00:08:10,375
Ohh...

219
00:08:10,458 --> 00:08:12,875
-[ Gasps ] Emily?
-Ehh.

220
00:08:12,958 --> 00:08:15,958
-Bridgette.
-Unh unh unh, ohh...

221
00:08:16,041 --> 00:08:17,208
Holy crap!

222
00:08:17,291 --> 00:08:18,666
But how could I...

223
00:08:18,750 --> 00:08:21,333
Aah!

224
00:08:21,416 --> 00:08:24,083
You have crazy
upper-body strength.

225
00:08:24,166 --> 00:08:26,041
Ugh!

226
00:08:26,125 --> 00:08:27,916
Josh!
Emily!

227
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:29,375
-Oh, hey, man.
-Damn it, Josh!

228
00:08:29,458 --> 00:08:30,583
Candice lost her mind.

229
00:08:30,666 --> 00:08:32,041
She's all jacked up
on candy.

230
00:08:32,125 --> 00:08:34,000
Oh, yeah, you're not supposed
to give her candy.

231
00:08:34,083 --> 00:08:36,083
I am Candeesi!

232
00:08:36,166 --> 00:08:37,916
Mother of candies!

233
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,833
I don't know how much longer
this guy's gonna last.

234
00:08:39,916 --> 00:08:41,416
We got to get him to the jail.

235
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:46,708
For the record, I feel really
weird holding your daughter

236
00:08:46,791 --> 00:08:49,000
while my ass is
in this guy's face!

237
00:08:51,958 --> 00:08:59,750
♪♪

238
00:08:59,833 --> 00:09:03,166
♪♪

239
00:09:03,250 --> 00:09:05,583
Just stick together.
Just stick together.

240
00:09:08,458 --> 00:09:09,666
Emily!
Bridgette!

241
00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:12,208
Josh! We didn't think
you were coming.

242
00:09:12,291 --> 00:09:14,208
I know, but we're gonna
get you out of here.

243
00:09:14,291 --> 00:09:16,125
Bridgette, you're the key
to waking up Bush Guy.

244
00:09:16,208 --> 00:09:17,125
Why me?

245
00:09:17,208 --> 00:09:18,375
Because he thought
you were hot.

246
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:20,000
-Did he think I was hot?
-He...

247
00:09:20,083 --> 00:09:21,291
thought you were
a really nice person,

248
00:09:21,375 --> 00:09:22,708
and he hopes
you find happiness.

249
00:09:22,791 --> 00:09:24,791
Aww!

250
00:09:26,791 --> 00:09:28,791
Oh, gross.

251
00:09:28,875 --> 00:09:30,791
Okay, what am I
supposed to do?

252
00:09:30,875 --> 00:09:33,875
-Just talk to him.
-Uh, okay.

253
00:09:33,958 --> 00:09:36,291
Hey, Bush Guy!

254
00:09:36,375 --> 00:09:38,125
Unh...

255
00:09:38,208 --> 00:09:40,458
Ugh!
Ohh.

256
00:09:40,541 --> 00:09:42,625
Taking a nap again,
Morales?

257
00:09:42,708 --> 00:09:45,208
-What the --
-[ Gasps ]

258
00:09:46,333 --> 00:09:48,500
-Go get it!
-Yeah!

259
00:09:51,416 --> 00:09:53,208
Yes!

260
00:09:55,541 --> 00:09:56,666
[ Alarm blaring ]

261
00:09:56,750 --> 00:09:58,375
No!
Hurry, Bridgette.

262
00:09:58,458 --> 00:09:59,916
Sex it up a little, you know?

263
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,666
Say some of that stuff
you said on our honeymoon.

264
00:10:01,750 --> 00:10:04,375
Uh, don't worry.
It happens to a lot of guys.

265
00:10:04,458 --> 00:10:07,208
What?! No!
The Viking stuff!

266
00:10:09,416 --> 00:10:12,208
Just do it, Bridgette!

267
00:10:12,291 --> 00:10:14,333
Twist 'em!
Twist 'em!

268
00:10:14,416 --> 00:10:16,125
For Valhalla!

269
00:10:16,208 --> 00:10:17,708
-Aah!
-Yeah! You did it!

270
00:10:17,791 --> 00:10:18,791
Yes!

271
00:10:18,875 --> 00:10:22,125
I'm not a man-slaughterer!

272
00:10:22,208 --> 00:10:23,500
Ugh!
Ah...

273
00:10:23,583 --> 00:10:26,958
Why do my nipples feel
more raw than usual?

274
00:10:28,875 --> 00:10:31,291
I am so glad that Bush Guy
dropped the charges.

275
00:10:31,375 --> 00:10:34,166
Ugh, can you believe
he still asked me out on a date?

276
00:10:34,250 --> 00:10:35,875
Well, I'm officially done.

277
00:10:35,958 --> 00:10:37,625
Prank war is over.

278
00:10:37,708 --> 00:10:40,041
I'm so glad to hear
you say that.

279
00:10:40,125 --> 00:10:42,583
All: Aah!
[ Gasps ]

280
00:10:45,458 --> 00:10:47,375
Nooooo!

281
00:10:47,458 --> 00:10:49,416
[ Crying ]

282
00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:51,041
Prank war!

283
00:10:51,125 --> 00:10:53,166
Huh?

284
00:10:53,250 --> 00:10:56,083
-Look at his face!
-Dude, she got you!

285
00:10:56,166 --> 00:10:57,791
Prank war is back on!
Whoo!

286
00:10:57,875 --> 00:10:59,916
No, Josh, wait!

287
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,708
Welp, back to jail.

288
00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,958
Emily, we have to get
the girls together again.

289
00:11:09,041 --> 00:11:11,500
I loved our 90-minute
conversation

290
00:11:11,583 --> 00:11:14,083
on homework technique
and containers.

291
00:11:14,166 --> 00:11:15,250
Can't wait!

292
00:11:15,333 --> 00:11:16,833
Kill me now.
Uh-oh.

293
00:11:16,916 --> 00:11:18,250
Trouble in mom-i-dise?

294
00:11:18,333 --> 00:11:19,750
Whenever Candice plays
with a kid,

295
00:11:19,833 --> 00:11:21,583
I gotta hang out
with their lame ass mom.

296
00:11:21,666 --> 00:11:24,333
Oh, my God! Okay.
You gotta find a new crew.

297
00:11:24,416 --> 00:11:27,750
You've got your L.L. Bean
moms -- snoozefest.

298
00:11:27,833 --> 00:11:28,916
The single moms.

299
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,541
Should someone help
that woman?

300
00:11:30,625 --> 00:11:31,708
No one can help her.

301
00:11:31,791 --> 00:11:33,583
And over there we have --

302
00:11:33,666 --> 00:11:36,750
[ Gasps ]
The cool moms.

303
00:11:36,833 --> 00:11:42,750
♪♪

304
00:11:42,833 --> 00:11:48,666
♪♪

305
00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:50,375
The coolest moms around.

306
00:11:50,458 --> 00:11:52,083
And their kids
are top of the class.

307
00:11:52,166 --> 00:11:53,416
Really?
Oh, yeah.

308
00:11:53,500 --> 00:11:54,958
I give them "A"s
so they'll like me.

309
00:11:55,041 --> 00:11:56,708
I'm so stupid,
whatever!

310
00:11:56,791 --> 00:11:58,291
You know what?
We're all adults.

311
00:11:58,375 --> 00:12:00,833
I'm just gonna walk up to them
and say something cool

312
00:12:00,916 --> 00:12:02,791
like, "Hey."

313
00:12:02,875 --> 00:12:05,875
So that's how I gave
Michael Douglas throat cancer.

314
00:12:05,958 --> 00:12:09,250
[ Laughter ]
Jojo, you're the best.

315
00:12:09,333 --> 00:12:14,333
Heeeeeey.

316
00:12:14,416 --> 00:12:17,125
I'm so sorry, she's a rescue.
[ Chuckles ]

317
00:12:17,208 --> 00:12:19,625
That's the thirstiest "Hey"
I've ever heard.

318
00:12:19,708 --> 00:12:21,125
Why is she --
Oh, my God.

319
00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:23,083
Okay, she's coming,
she's coming -- how do I look?

320
00:12:23,166 --> 00:12:24,666
Is the bun fun?
Hey.

321
00:12:24,750 --> 00:12:26,625
Hey, 'sup?

322
00:12:26,708 --> 00:12:30,625
Our kids are really
getting along.

323
00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:32,000
Play date.
4:00.

324
00:12:32,083 --> 00:12:33,666
Your house.
Yes.

325
00:12:33,750 --> 00:12:35,666
I'll bring a great bottle
of Shiraz, cool?

326
00:12:35,750 --> 00:12:36,958
Heh, no plus ones.

327
00:12:37,041 --> 00:12:38,416
No, I'm cool.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

328
00:12:38,500 --> 00:12:41,375
My iCal is totally full,
love you guys!

329
00:12:41,458 --> 00:12:47,541
♪♪

330
00:12:47,625 --> 00:12:54,291
♪♪

331
00:12:57,125 --> 00:12:59,458
Ew. Josh, you know I'm trying
to get the house

332
00:12:59,541 --> 00:13:00,791
cleaned up
for the play date.

333
00:13:00,875 --> 00:13:02,833
Sorry, Em. Mess is part
of my process,

334
00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:04,166
duh-doy!

335
00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:05,625
Alex,
what are you doing?

336
00:13:05,708 --> 00:13:08,666
I'm beautiful minding,
duh-doy.

337
00:13:08,750 --> 00:13:12,375
[ Engine revving ]

338
00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:14,791
Son of bitch!

339
00:13:14,875 --> 00:13:16,750
Let me borrow your car.

340
00:13:16,833 --> 00:13:19,125
-Hi, Randy.
-Josh, let me borrow your car.

341
00:13:19,208 --> 00:13:21,000
Emily is being impossible.
What?

342
00:13:21,083 --> 00:13:22,708
We just heard you crash yours
into that tree.

343
00:13:22,791 --> 00:13:24,208
The tree is not the issue!

344
00:13:24,291 --> 00:13:27,833
My mom just snuck off
to Palm Springs with some rando!

345
00:13:27,916 --> 00:13:29,375
Hah, good for her!

346
00:13:29,458 --> 00:13:31,000
Emily, I swear to God!

347
00:13:31,083 --> 00:13:34,375
Why don't you do Randy a solid
and just drive him yourself?

348
00:13:34,458 --> 00:13:36,041
To the desert?
Sure!

349
00:13:36,125 --> 00:13:37,208
Take Alex with you.

350
00:13:37,291 --> 00:13:39,208
It'll be a fun road trip!

351
00:13:39,291 --> 00:13:41,208
Both: Road trip!
Mix CDs!

352
00:13:41,291 --> 00:13:42,541
Dried meats!

353
00:13:42,625 --> 00:13:44,375
Stopping at a scary truck
stop late at night!

354
00:13:44,458 --> 00:13:46,208
Talking
about our feelings!

355
00:13:46,291 --> 00:13:47,708
What is happening?

356
00:13:47,791 --> 00:13:49,291
And the best part is,
you'll get out of the house --

357
00:13:49,375 --> 00:13:52,375
I mean, you'll save Pearle
and get out of the house.

358
00:13:52,458 --> 00:13:56,416
♪♪

359
00:13:56,500 --> 00:13:58,625
[ Laughs ]

360
00:13:58,708 --> 00:14:00,000
♪♪

361
00:14:00,083 --> 00:14:01,250
Hmm.

362
00:14:01,333 --> 00:14:03,083
♪♪

363
00:14:03,166 --> 00:14:04,250
Aahh!

364
00:14:04,333 --> 00:14:13,000
♪♪

365
00:14:13,083 --> 00:14:16,208
[ Laughter ]

366
00:14:16,291 --> 00:14:17,916
What up? Let me see those hands
up in the air!

367
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,583
[ Grunting ]

368
00:14:19,666 --> 00:14:23,083
♪♪

369
00:14:23,166 --> 00:14:24,458
Ah!
That should be enough.

370
00:14:24,541 --> 00:14:27,208
[ Engine revs ]
[ Gasps ]

371
00:14:27,291 --> 00:14:30,000
She's so cool.

372
00:14:30,083 --> 00:14:33,083
Hey, Mom, you should wear
this hat I made you at school!

373
00:14:33,166 --> 00:14:34,583
Okay.
[ Knock on door ]

374
00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:36,333
[ Laughs ]

375
00:14:36,416 --> 00:14:38,000
Jojo, Mia!

376
00:14:38,083 --> 00:14:39,125
Hi!

377
00:14:39,208 --> 00:14:41,250
I mean -- 'sup?

378
00:14:41,333 --> 00:14:42,875
Oh, you keep
all those things.

379
00:14:42,958 --> 00:14:45,125
I just take a picture
and throw it away.

380
00:14:45,208 --> 00:14:46,625
She doesn't know
the difference.

381
00:14:46,708 --> 00:14:47,833
Oh, yeah!

382
00:14:47,916 --> 00:14:49,625
I was
just about to do that.

383
00:14:49,708 --> 00:14:51,083
Couldn't set up the camera
in time.

384
00:14:51,166 --> 00:14:52,458
Well, come in.

385
00:14:52,541 --> 00:14:54,125
I was thinking we can all play
Butterfly Barn.

386
00:14:54,208 --> 00:14:55,541
I want to be
the butter pig.

387
00:14:55,625 --> 00:14:57,041
Not happening.

388
00:14:57,125 --> 00:15:00,083
Hey, why don't you two go off
and make your own choices --

389
00:15:00,166 --> 00:15:01,500
good or bad.

390
00:15:01,583 --> 00:15:04,666
We're going to down a batch
of my latest.

391
00:15:04,750 --> 00:15:05,958
Homemade beer?

392
00:15:06,041 --> 00:15:07,625
Is this really happening?

393
00:15:07,708 --> 00:15:09,541
Do I really have to be
alone with her?

394
00:15:09,625 --> 00:15:12,833
She made Mr. Campbell
give himself a time out.

395
00:15:12,916 --> 00:15:16,458
You are not gonna cry,
Timothy Brice Campbell.

396
00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:18,291
Not for her!

397
00:15:18,375 --> 00:15:21,458
It's not my fault I found
his terrible improve troupe

398
00:15:21,541 --> 00:15:23,000
on YouTube.
Go!

399
00:15:23,083 --> 00:15:24,958
It will be great.

400
00:15:29,041 --> 00:15:30,500
Josh: Dude,
what's your problem?

401
00:15:30,583 --> 00:15:32,083
You two are my problem!

402
00:15:32,166 --> 00:15:33,958
You don't know what it's like
to be the kid of a cop,

403
00:15:34,041 --> 00:15:36,666
worried your mom's not coming
home at the end of a shift.

404
00:15:36,750 --> 00:15:38,333
Dang, man,
I'm sorry.

405
00:15:38,416 --> 00:15:41,541
I just need to make sure
she's okay!

406
00:15:41,625 --> 00:15:43,500
[ Sobbing ]

407
00:15:43,583 --> 00:15:49,166
♪♪

408
00:15:49,250 --> 00:15:51,708
[ Thunder crashes ]

409
00:15:51,791 --> 00:15:54,166
[ Screeches ]

410
00:15:54,250 --> 00:15:56,083
You know, it's natural to want
to protect your mother

411
00:15:56,166 --> 00:15:57,875
with everything
that she did for you.

412
00:15:57,958 --> 00:15:59,875
-Ahhhhhh!
-Sweet Pattie La-Belle!

413
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,166
You're alive?!

414
00:16:01,250 --> 00:16:03,375
Should it be so surprising
to see a miracle

415
00:16:03,458 --> 00:16:05,583
in the holiest of places?

416
00:16:05,666 --> 00:16:08,000
I bet you could get us
to the resort faster

417
00:16:08,083 --> 00:16:09,458
than this junk chunk.

418
00:16:09,541 --> 00:16:11,416
Oh, good.

419
00:16:11,500 --> 00:16:13,791
It'll give us time to go
over the word of the lord.

420
00:16:13,875 --> 00:16:16,000
And that's why adultery
is my favorite reason

421
00:16:16,083 --> 00:16:17,333
for stoning women.

422
00:16:17,416 --> 00:16:19,958
-Dude.
-Come on!

423
00:16:20,041 --> 00:16:22,666
Wow. So you don't give Mia
any boundaries at all?

424
00:16:22,750 --> 00:16:24,166
It's like this sour beer.

425
00:16:24,250 --> 00:16:25,541
I mean,
you can't just sit there

426
00:16:25,625 --> 00:16:27,375
and watch the hops
24/7.

427
00:16:27,458 --> 00:16:29,000
You got to give it space.

428
00:16:29,083 --> 00:16:30,541
That's why it tastes
so good.

429
00:16:30,625 --> 00:16:32,375
Wow.
That -- That's so true.

430
00:16:32,458 --> 00:16:35,041
Also,
I let Mia drink beer.

431
00:16:35,125 --> 00:16:36,541
It's like what they say
in Europe --

432
00:16:36,625 --> 00:16:38,083
no rules, just right.

433
00:16:38,166 --> 00:16:39,833
Isn't that the slogan
for Outback Steakhouse?

434
00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:43,416
Yeah! But we went to the one
in Europe, so...

435
00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:45,416
Mom!
Mia broke my piggy bank!

436
00:16:45,500 --> 00:16:46,916
Oh, I'm sure
it was an accident.

437
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,000
Mia, we're in someone
else's home.

438
00:16:49,083 --> 00:16:51,458
Was that piggy bank
stifling your voice?

439
00:16:51,541 --> 00:16:52,666
Yes, Jojo!

440
00:16:52,750 --> 00:16:55,291
Capitalism is
the great oppressor!

441
00:16:55,375 --> 00:16:56,666
Ooh, respect.

442
00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:58,208
Ugh, you're just gonna
let her do that, Mom?

443
00:16:58,291 --> 00:17:00,625
Well, you can't let things
stifle your voice.

444
00:17:00,708 --> 00:17:03,250
And you know what, don't call me
Mom, call me Emily.

445
00:17:03,333 --> 00:17:05,666
Aggression is natural.
You just got to get it out.

446
00:17:05,750 --> 00:17:08,291
That's why I take Mia
to this wrestling class.

447
00:17:08,375 --> 00:17:09,916
Wrestling?
You should come!

448
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,833
Everybody's gonna be there.

449
00:17:11,916 --> 00:17:13,708
Ehh?

450
00:17:13,791 --> 00:17:15,666
We're here!

451
00:17:17,750 --> 00:17:21,291
Alex: "Mother's End --
Home Of The Secret Nudist Temple

452
00:17:21,375 --> 00:17:23,625
Where Sound Doesn't Exist?"

453
00:17:23,708 --> 00:17:27,000
Sounds like the perfect place
to kill someone.

454
00:17:27,083 --> 00:17:29,291
Flawless Caruso, bro.

455
00:17:29,375 --> 00:17:31,291
[ Grunts ]

456
00:17:31,375 --> 00:17:32,583
Shh-shh-shh-shh-shh-shh.

457
00:17:32,666 --> 00:17:35,000
[ Both gasp ]

458
00:17:35,083 --> 00:17:36,125
Dude?!

459
00:17:36,208 --> 00:17:38,291
We go where the road takes us,
come on!

460
00:17:38,375 --> 00:17:46,791
♪♪

461
00:17:46,875 --> 00:17:48,625
Emily, meet the crew.

462
00:17:48,708 --> 00:17:50,250
This is Billie.
'Sup?

463
00:17:50,333 --> 00:17:51,958
Billie gave Usher herpes.

464
00:17:52,041 --> 00:17:55,708
Zola, the best SoulCycle
instructor on the East Side.
Yo.

465
00:17:55,791 --> 00:17:58,625
Saffron, she's a staff writer
for Goop Kids.

466
00:17:58,708 --> 00:18:01,041
And Trish.
Hi, nice to meet you,
Emily.

467
00:18:01,125 --> 00:18:03,625
Trish is so norm-core,
it's sad.

468
00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:04,875
Just like your apartment.

469
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,041
What?!

470
00:18:06,125 --> 00:18:07,708
Jojo, how's Mia taking
to her new diet?

471
00:18:07,791 --> 00:18:10,208
Amazing.
I'm only feeding her superfoods.

472
00:18:10,291 --> 00:18:13,041
That's why she's
crushing bitches!

473
00:18:13,125 --> 00:18:16,125
[ Groaning ]

474
00:18:16,208 --> 00:18:19,083
Let's get Candice out there,
see what she's got.

475
00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:20,375
Ugh, I don't want to.

476
00:18:20,458 --> 00:18:21,958
You can do it,
don't be scared.

477
00:18:22,041 --> 00:18:23,166
Mom!
Mom?

478
00:18:23,250 --> 00:18:25,250
Who are you talking to?
I'm Emily.

479
00:18:25,333 --> 00:18:26,750
Ugh!

480
00:18:29,708 --> 00:18:31,916
Look, I'll try to take out
as many people as possible,

481
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,041
but I can't kill
everyone by myself.

482
00:18:34,125 --> 00:18:35,875
You're each responsible
for a body.

483
00:18:35,958 --> 00:18:39,166
[ Gong sounds ]
What the hell
is that noise?!

484
00:18:40,333 --> 00:18:41,583
Ahh!

485
00:18:41,666 --> 00:18:43,041
We'll naked wrestle
these guys!

486
00:18:43,125 --> 00:18:45,250
Randy,
go save your mom!

487
00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:47,375
[ Screaming ]

488
00:18:47,458 --> 00:18:51,458
♪♪

489
00:18:51,541 --> 00:18:54,416
[ Warbling ]

490
00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:57,708
[ High-pitched humming ]

491
00:18:57,791 --> 00:18:59,958
No one touches my ma!

492
00:19:00,041 --> 00:19:01,666
What the?!
Randy?

493
00:19:01,750 --> 00:19:05,291
I'm here to save you!

494
00:19:05,375 --> 00:19:06,500
You must be Randy!

495
00:19:06,583 --> 00:19:08,208
Randy,
why are you here?!

496
00:19:08,291 --> 00:19:11,041
I told you I could
take care of myself.

497
00:19:11,125 --> 00:19:12,416
I thought
he was murdering you!

498
00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:14,541
Ha, if by murdering,
you mean kill off

499
00:19:14,625 --> 00:19:17,708
your mother's aching muscles
with soothing sound waves.

500
00:19:17,791 --> 00:19:19,791
I find that
hard to believe!

501
00:19:19,875 --> 00:19:22,541
We met when I was undercover
with Big Donnie's crew.

502
00:19:22,625 --> 00:19:25,375
He took 13 bullets
for me in a shootout.

503
00:19:25,458 --> 00:19:26,666
It was nothing.

504
00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:28,666
I'm impressed with
your detective work,

505
00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:30,833
but I'm not going anywhere.

506
00:19:30,916 --> 00:19:32,250
I'm sorry, Ma.

507
00:19:32,333 --> 00:19:33,875
It's just -- every night
growing up,

508
00:19:33,958 --> 00:19:37,333
I'd lie in bed until I heard
the click of the door opening.

509
00:19:37,416 --> 00:19:39,416
Because that's when I knew
you were safe.

510
00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:40,916
And even though
you're retired,

511
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:44,166
I guess I still need
to hear that click.

512
00:19:44,250 --> 00:19:47,458
Oh, baby,
if the streets of LA

513
00:19:47,541 --> 00:19:49,625
couldn't take me out,
nothing can.

514
00:19:49,708 --> 00:19:51,250
I'm un-murderable.

515
00:19:51,333 --> 00:19:53,208
She has very strong legs.

516
00:19:53,291 --> 00:19:56,083
You're right, Dad.

517
00:19:56,166 --> 00:20:01,333
♪♪

518
00:20:01,416 --> 00:20:03,500
Road trip!
Road trip!

519
00:20:05,625 --> 00:20:08,625
I'm gonna break you the way
I broke that piggy bank!

520
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,541
She's gonna go easy
on her, right?

521
00:20:10,625 --> 00:20:11,958
No mercy, Mia!

522
00:20:12,041 --> 00:20:13,833
You know how we do!

523
00:20:13,916 --> 00:20:15,208
You're doing
the right thing.

524
00:20:15,291 --> 00:20:16,916
I let Mia
beat my kid's ass,

525
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:20,541
and now we vacation
with them in Cabo.

526
00:20:20,625 --> 00:20:22,125
Stop!
Candice!

527
00:20:22,208 --> 00:20:23,791
I should have never set up
this play date.

528
00:20:23,875 --> 00:20:26,291
You don't ever have to try
to do anything to be cool.

529
00:20:26,375 --> 00:20:28,041
You're the coolest person
I know.

530
00:20:28,125 --> 00:20:29,583
Can we go home and play?

531
00:20:29,666 --> 00:20:30,666
You bet.

532
00:20:30,750 --> 00:20:33,125
Yeah, go on home
to your board games.

533
00:20:33,208 --> 00:20:34,708
You want to know
why they're called that?

534
00:20:34,791 --> 00:20:36,625
Because they're boring.

535
00:20:36,708 --> 00:20:39,333
I knew you couldn't be
a cool mom.

536
00:20:39,416 --> 00:20:43,958
Maybe not, but I could beat
a cool mom's ass!

537
00:20:47,083 --> 00:20:50,708
It's on!

538
00:20:50,791 --> 00:20:53,916
Ready?

539
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,500
Go!

540
00:20:55,583 --> 00:20:57,041
Yeah get her!
You can do it.

541
00:20:57,125 --> 00:20:58,916
Come on!
Slam it down, bitch!

542
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:00,666
You can do it, Mom!

543
00:21:00,750 --> 00:21:03,500
[ Grunting ]

544
00:21:03,583 --> 00:21:04,916
[ Grunts ]

545
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,875
Have fun
with the loser moms.

546
00:21:07,958 --> 00:21:10,166
[ Grunting ]

547
00:21:10,250 --> 00:21:15,375
♪♪

548
00:21:15,458 --> 00:21:18,041
Agh!

549
00:21:18,125 --> 00:21:24,333
♪♪

550
00:21:24,416 --> 00:21:30,500
♪♪

551
00:21:30,583 --> 00:21:31,875
[ Bone cracks ]

552
00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:34,625
Ahh!
Oh, my God!
I'm so sorry!

553
00:21:34,708 --> 00:21:35,791
Is there a doctor here?

554
00:21:35,875 --> 00:21:38,666
I deserve this for being
such a dick.

555
00:21:38,750 --> 00:21:42,125
Ow! Ah!

556
00:21:42,208 --> 00:21:45,166
Peace out!
Mia, you're driving!

557
00:21:45,250 --> 00:21:48,333
That was really brave of you
to stand up to Jojo.

558
00:21:48,416 --> 00:21:49,791
She terrifies me.

559
00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:51,083
Oh, thanks.

560
00:21:51,166 --> 00:21:52,958
Maybe we could all get together
some time?

561
00:21:53,041 --> 00:21:54,875
As long as we get to play
Butterfly Barn!

562
00:21:54,958 --> 00:21:57,041
Oh, my gosh!
I love Butterfly Barn!

563
00:21:57,125 --> 00:21:58,541
I'll bring
the homemade beer.

564
00:21:58,625 --> 00:22:00,041
[ Gasps ]
Just kidding,

565
00:22:00,125 --> 00:22:01,500
I'm not
a douche-bag.

566
00:22:01,583 --> 00:22:09,708
♪♪

567
00:22:09,791 --> 00:22:17,916
♪♪

568
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:26,125
♪♪

569
00:22:26,208 --> 00:22:34,416
♪♪

570
00:22:34,500 --> 00:22:42,583
♪♪

571
00:22:42,666 --> 00:22:51,041
♪♪