1 00:00:05,500 --> 00:00:07,583 Narrator: Sand. 2 00:00:07,666 --> 00:00:09,208 Bone. 3 00:00:09,291 --> 00:00:11,458 Sand. 4 00:00:11,541 --> 00:00:13,666 Bone. 5 00:00:13,750 --> 00:00:15,250 Sand. 6 00:00:15,333 --> 00:00:17,125 Bone. 7 00:00:17,208 --> 00:00:18,416 Sand & Bone. 8 00:00:18,500 --> 00:00:20,416 You deserve it. 9 00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:22,000 [ Horns honking, screaming ] 10 00:00:22,083 --> 00:00:23,541 [ Tires squealing ] 11 00:00:23,625 --> 00:00:25,583 [ Sighs ] We probably shouldn't watch this while driving. 12 00:00:25,666 --> 00:00:26,916 But I'm so excited! 13 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:28,625 I can't believe your boss is gonna let us stay 14 00:00:28,708 --> 00:00:30,000 at his sweet beach condo. 15 00:00:30,083 --> 00:00:31,541 Together: Spring break! 16 00:00:31,625 --> 00:00:33,708 [ Horn honking ] Whoa. [ Chuckles ] 17 00:00:33,791 --> 00:00:40,250 ♪♪ 18 00:00:40,333 --> 00:00:46,666 ♪♪ 19 00:00:46,750 --> 00:00:50,666 Mommy! You ready to have a week of fun on the beach? 20 00:00:50,750 --> 00:00:51,833 Yeah! 21 00:00:51,916 --> 00:00:53,333 Mr. Campbell just wants to ask you something 22 00:00:53,416 --> 00:00:55,666 about whether you care if I stay at this school or not. 23 00:00:55,750 --> 00:00:59,750 So, do you guys care if Candice stays at the school or not? 24 00:00:59,833 --> 00:01:02,250 Together: Yes! Oh, okay, just checking. 25 00:01:02,333 --> 00:01:04,333 Some parents are just out of sight, out of mind. 26 00:01:04,416 --> 00:01:05,583 You know? [ Chuckles ] 27 00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:08,333 So Candice needs to step it up then. 28 00:01:08,416 --> 00:01:10,583 She's been failing all her recent tests. 29 00:01:10,666 --> 00:01:12,708 How could Candice test so poorly? 30 00:01:12,791 --> 00:01:14,625 Well, it's possible she's just... 31 00:01:14,708 --> 00:01:16,500 you know...only cute. 32 00:01:16,583 --> 00:01:18,375 [ Gasps ] My daughter is not cute. 33 00:01:18,458 --> 00:01:19,875 I mean not just cute. 34 00:01:19,958 --> 00:01:21,375 What can we can do to fix this? 35 00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:27,750 Hello, I'm Brainio. A state-of-the-art robot tutor. 36 00:01:27,833 --> 00:01:30,625 Let's improve your test scores. It's no big deal. 37 00:01:30,708 --> 00:01:32,333 We'll just bring him on Spring Break with us. 38 00:01:32,416 --> 00:01:34,416 Uh, actually, the loan-out company requires 39 00:01:34,500 --> 00:01:36,875 Brainio to stay at your residence for charging. 40 00:01:36,958 --> 00:01:38,500 So we can't go anywhere? 41 00:01:38,583 --> 00:01:41,500 I mean, you are free to go anywhere. 42 00:01:41,583 --> 00:01:43,333 Like to her old school. 43 00:01:43,416 --> 00:01:48,500 Children, please! I paid for this bus with my own money! 44 00:01:48,583 --> 00:01:50,208 Josh, we can't let her go back to that school. 45 00:01:50,291 --> 00:01:53,583 Ah! People make too big a deal about test scores. 46 00:01:53,666 --> 00:01:55,166 Candice is fine. 47 00:01:55,250 --> 00:01:56,583 I wrote my name! 48 00:01:56,666 --> 00:01:58,500 [ Both inhale sharply ] 49 00:01:58,583 --> 00:02:00,166 [ Groans ] 50 00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:01,916 I can't believe that sweet condo 51 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,916 is just gonna sit empty all week... 52 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:07,125 I mean, it doesn't have to. 53 00:02:07,208 --> 00:02:09,583 Oh. Right. You and Alex should go in our place. 54 00:02:09,666 --> 00:02:11,500 Yes! Thank you! Alex? 55 00:02:11,583 --> 00:02:15,083 I don't know. My idea of vacation is not lounging 56 00:02:15,166 --> 00:02:17,458 on some overly-manicured beach. 57 00:02:17,541 --> 00:02:19,125 Mmm, that's too bad. 58 00:02:19,208 --> 00:02:21,125 I was reading this article about divorce sex 59 00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:22,750 and thought we could try it. 60 00:02:22,833 --> 00:02:25,166 I'll get my swim suit! Oh. [ Giggles ] 61 00:02:25,250 --> 00:02:26,458 [ Sighs ] 62 00:02:26,541 --> 00:02:28,708 We were gonna have satisfactory marriage sex, 63 00:02:28,791 --> 00:02:31,375 and they're gonna have gross hot divorce sex. 64 00:02:31,458 --> 00:02:33,875 It's gonna be so weird and confusing. 65 00:02:33,958 --> 00:02:35,875 Hey, we can have weird and confusing sex here. 66 00:02:35,958 --> 00:02:38,000 I say we do a Spring Break at home. 67 00:02:38,083 --> 00:02:39,958 An at-home-cation. 68 00:02:40,041 --> 00:02:41,791 I'm too bummed to have a spring break. 69 00:02:41,875 --> 00:02:44,750 We lost the condo, and Candice isn't smart. 70 00:02:44,833 --> 00:02:47,791 I need to grieve. Whoo! 71 00:02:47,875 --> 00:02:49,916 Aw! Come on, man. 72 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,083 [ Laughs ] One of the boys got out. 73 00:02:52,166 --> 00:02:54,583 He's excited. Spring Break! 74 00:02:54,666 --> 00:02:56,250 [ Tropical music playing ] Emily: [ Sighs ] 75 00:02:56,333 --> 00:02:57,916 Josh? 76 00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:01,625 Where's that music coming from? 77 00:03:01,708 --> 00:03:04,583 Hi, Mommy! I can read the letters of the alphabet! 78 00:03:04,666 --> 00:03:06,000 That's great! 79 00:03:06,083 --> 00:03:08,875 Hey, you're just in time for the wet T-shirt contest. 80 00:03:08,958 --> 00:03:10,333 Whoo! Wow. 81 00:03:10,416 --> 00:03:12,666 Josh, this is awesome! 82 00:03:12,750 --> 00:03:13,916 Okay, you're right. 83 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,625 As long as Candice is happy and doing well, 84 00:03:15,708 --> 00:03:17,875 we'll give this at-home-caytion a shot. 85 00:03:17,958 --> 00:03:20,583 Speaking of shots! 86 00:03:20,666 --> 00:03:22,583 Together: At-home-caytion! 87 00:03:22,666 --> 00:03:24,791 [ Buzzing ] Uh-oh. 88 00:03:24,875 --> 00:03:26,125 Everything okay, Candice? 89 00:03:26,208 --> 00:03:27,750 The questions are too tough. 90 00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:30,708 Greg and Suzie are children, not childs. 91 00:03:30,791 --> 00:03:33,458 And now because you got an incorrect answer, 92 00:03:33,541 --> 00:03:35,625 a word from our sponsors. 93 00:03:35,708 --> 00:03:37,625 Announcer: Does your head hurt because your daughter 94 00:03:37,708 --> 00:03:38,958 is struggling in school? 95 00:03:39,041 --> 00:03:40,625 I'm a failure as a mother. 96 00:03:40,708 --> 00:03:43,833 You deserve a foot massager from Toe Town! 97 00:03:43,916 --> 00:03:45,791 Press the screen to buy now. 98 00:03:45,875 --> 00:03:47,791 We can't afford a foot massager. 99 00:03:47,875 --> 00:03:50,666 It's vacation! We can splurge! 100 00:03:55,208 --> 00:03:56,625 [ Camera shutter clicks ] Bridgette: Sand! 101 00:03:56,708 --> 00:03:57,791 Bone. 102 00:03:57,875 --> 00:03:59,458 Sand. 103 00:04:00,916 --> 00:04:02,833 Bone? Ooh, that is hot. 104 00:04:02,916 --> 00:04:04,375 -Right? -Wait, wait, wait. 105 00:04:04,458 --> 00:04:05,625 Do that again. 106 00:04:05,708 --> 00:04:07,250 Well, why don't you put your phone down 107 00:04:07,333 --> 00:04:09,500 and get in the shell? 108 00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,541 There's a pearl in here. 109 00:04:11,625 --> 00:04:14,083 I'm talking about my uncircumcised penis. 110 00:04:14,166 --> 00:04:15,291 It's a director's cut -- 111 00:04:15,375 --> 00:04:17,375 no cuts and longer than it needs to be. 112 00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:19,708 [ Sighs ] Chill! We're gonna be here all week. 113 00:04:19,791 --> 00:04:21,083 I just want to post this real quick 114 00:04:21,166 --> 00:04:22,541 so it actually happened. 115 00:04:22,625 --> 00:04:24,500 [ Groans ] Do you have to do this right now? 116 00:04:24,583 --> 00:04:26,750 Yes! This is prime posting time. 117 00:04:26,833 --> 00:04:28,625 If I post it now and tag the location, 118 00:04:28,708 --> 00:04:30,875 it has a chance of showing up in the Sand & Bone story, 119 00:04:30,958 --> 00:04:33,416 which puts it in front of like 10,000 more followers, 120 00:04:33,500 --> 00:04:34,666 which means more traffic. 121 00:04:34,750 --> 00:04:36,500 Hey, wanna come try out the new hammock? 122 00:04:36,583 --> 00:04:39,458 If you close your eyes, it feels like you're in Costa Rica. 123 00:04:39,541 --> 00:04:40,625 -Yes! -No. 124 00:04:40,708 --> 00:04:42,583 -Ugh. -She almost got one right. 125 00:04:42,666 --> 00:04:44,125 Here is an easy one. 126 00:04:44,208 --> 00:04:47,833 Which of the following sentences contains a prepositional phrase? 127 00:04:47,916 --> 00:04:49,500 A prepo-what? [ Buzzer sounds ] 128 00:04:49,583 --> 00:04:51,458 Announcer: Prepositions got you down? 129 00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,041 Prepo-who cares? 130 00:04:53,125 --> 00:04:56,041 Maybe it's time for a prepo-zip-line vacation 131 00:04:56,125 --> 00:04:57,250 in Costa Rica! 132 00:04:57,333 --> 00:04:58,625 These questions are kind of hard. 133 00:04:58,708 --> 00:05:00,375 I mean, even a smart kid couldn't get them. 134 00:05:00,458 --> 00:05:02,916 Well, what's that supposed to mean? 135 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,125 [ Gasps ] No-nothing. I mean... 136 00:05:05,208 --> 00:05:08,416 This stupid robot is ruining my life! 137 00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:09,916 Josh, I didn't mean it! 138 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,666 It just slipped out. Let me go talk to her. 139 00:05:16,208 --> 00:05:18,166 School is important, but it's better to just find 140 00:05:18,250 --> 00:05:19,500 something you're passionate about. 141 00:05:19,583 --> 00:05:21,000 For me, it was video games. 142 00:05:21,083 --> 00:05:22,541 I wouldn't worry too hard about the test. 143 00:05:22,625 --> 00:05:23,750 Thanks, Dad. 144 00:05:23,833 --> 00:05:25,208 Okay, now, do you see here 145 00:05:25,291 --> 00:05:27,458 where it says we need a password to access him? 146 00:05:27,541 --> 00:05:30,125 Do you remember what the most common password is I taught you? 147 00:05:30,208 --> 00:05:33,666 Oh, yeah, one, two, three, for, five. 148 00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:35,958 Deejay: Let me hear you say Divorsay! 149 00:05:36,041 --> 00:05:37,583 Divorsay! 150 00:05:37,666 --> 00:05:40,166 Alex: Look at these smartphone idiots. 151 00:05:40,250 --> 00:05:43,291 They might as well be living in the goddamn Matrix. 152 00:05:43,375 --> 00:05:44,750 [ Glass shattering ] 153 00:05:44,833 --> 00:05:46,541 You're preaching to the drum circle. 154 00:05:46,625 --> 00:05:49,375 [ Chuckles ] I just refuse to contribute 155 00:05:49,458 --> 00:05:51,208 to this mind-numbing behavior 156 00:05:51,291 --> 00:05:53,958 that has stopped us from connecting as people. 157 00:05:54,041 --> 00:05:59,000 Oh, are you looking to connect with people? 158 00:05:59,083 --> 00:06:00,250 Mm. Oh. 159 00:06:00,333 --> 00:06:02,666 Oh. All right. Ooh. 160 00:06:02,750 --> 00:06:04,625 Uh, uh. Ah. 161 00:06:04,708 --> 00:06:05,958 Hey. 162 00:06:06,041 --> 00:06:07,250 You're not gonna ask me 163 00:06:07,333 --> 00:06:09,458 if I believe in the Lord of Light, are you? 164 00:06:09,541 --> 00:06:10,958 [ Laughter ] 165 00:06:11,041 --> 00:06:13,208 Do you? What are you doing here? 166 00:06:13,291 --> 00:06:15,083 I thought we were going to sand and bone. 167 00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:18,083 Why? So you can tape it and see how many likes you get? 168 00:06:18,166 --> 00:06:20,916 I'd rather connect with an actual person. 169 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:22,375 This is Toluca Lake. 170 00:06:22,458 --> 00:06:25,375 She lives in a yurt, a totally unplugged lifestyle. 171 00:06:25,458 --> 00:06:27,041 I don't even have a toilet. 172 00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:29,041 Well, toilets don't plug in, so... 173 00:06:29,125 --> 00:06:30,958 A toilet plugs into the sewer system, 174 00:06:31,041 --> 00:06:32,458 which pollutes the ocean. 175 00:06:32,541 --> 00:06:33,958 Isn't she great? [ Scoffs ] 176 00:06:34,041 --> 00:06:36,833 Are you really going to turn me down for Suzie's of Maine? 177 00:06:36,916 --> 00:06:38,125 I'm actually from Oregon. 178 00:06:38,208 --> 00:06:40,041 It was an actual deodorant joke! 179 00:06:40,125 --> 00:06:42,875 I remember these jealous rages from when we were married, 180 00:06:42,958 --> 00:06:44,625 and you know what? Not interested! 181 00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:48,875 And I remember your need for approval from female randos! 182 00:06:48,958 --> 00:06:50,125 [ Laughs ] 183 00:06:50,208 --> 00:06:51,375 Good one about the toilet, too. 184 00:06:51,458 --> 00:06:53,541 Ooh, that really pissed her off. 185 00:06:54,541 --> 00:06:57,041 Wow, you were not kidding. 186 00:06:58,708 --> 00:07:00,166 [ Dinging ] 187 00:07:00,250 --> 00:07:02,250 [ Groans ] 188 00:07:03,708 --> 00:07:05,833 What's with all that dinging? 189 00:07:05,916 --> 00:07:07,958 [ Gasps ] Dinging! 190 00:07:08,041 --> 00:07:09,375 Correct! What's going on? 191 00:07:09,458 --> 00:07:11,291 Hi, Mommy. I'm smart now. 192 00:07:11,375 --> 00:07:13,250 Of course you're smart. 193 00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:15,250 I'm so sorry that I made you feel bad. 194 00:07:15,333 --> 00:07:16,791 [ Dinging ] Congratulations. 195 00:07:16,875 --> 00:07:18,375 All levels are complete. 196 00:07:18,458 --> 00:07:24,666 ♪ God bless America ♪ 197 00:07:24,750 --> 00:07:26,375 Aah! Do you know what this means? 198 00:07:26,458 --> 00:07:28,041 Together: Spring break! 199 00:07:28,125 --> 00:07:31,750 Hey, guys! Sand & Bone is amazing. 200 00:07:31,833 --> 00:07:35,000 Hashtag so happy! Hashtag 100% of my life is spent being happy! 201 00:07:35,083 --> 00:07:38,458 [ Sighs ] 202 00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:39,666 Well, look who's here. 203 00:07:39,750 --> 00:07:41,958 Hairball Houdini and Smelly Duvall. 204 00:07:42,041 --> 00:07:44,541 We only came here so Toluca can use the bathroom. 205 00:07:44,625 --> 00:07:46,750 We discovered something living in her pit. 206 00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:49,333 [ Hissing ] 207 00:07:49,416 --> 00:07:50,625 Well, that's its home now. 208 00:07:50,708 --> 00:07:53,041 Of course. Let's respect all creatures. 209 00:07:53,125 --> 00:07:54,500 I'm going to go hit your pit. 210 00:07:54,583 --> 00:07:56,375 [ Groans ] We didn't even have sex. 211 00:07:56,458 --> 00:07:58,166 We just talked all night. 212 00:07:58,250 --> 00:08:00,583 I thought divorce sex was supposed to be fun. 213 00:08:00,666 --> 00:08:02,208 I read that blog post. 214 00:08:02,291 --> 00:08:05,208 It says that it's only fun if there's no strings attached. 215 00:08:05,291 --> 00:08:07,125 We've still got strings. 216 00:08:07,208 --> 00:08:09,541 Yeah. Truce? Truce. 217 00:08:09,625 --> 00:08:11,791 The Spring Break crew has arrived! 218 00:08:11,875 --> 00:08:14,000 -No way! -Oh, my God, 219 00:08:14,083 --> 00:08:15,500 this place is ridiculous! 220 00:08:15,583 --> 00:08:17,625 [ Gasps ] I heard the bathroom has a wine fridge. 221 00:08:17,708 --> 00:08:19,625 What happened? Are you done with the robot? 222 00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:22,000 Yeah! Candice crushed her tests. 223 00:08:22,083 --> 00:08:25,000 So we bailed on Brainio for Sand and Bone-io! 224 00:08:25,083 --> 00:08:28,083 Candice: Hey, Dad, did you order something from Brainio? 225 00:08:28,166 --> 00:08:30,750 No. Why? 226 00:08:30,833 --> 00:08:33,583 Violation! Violation! Violation! 227 00:08:33,666 --> 00:08:35,791 -Aah! -Yo, yo, yo! 228 00:08:35,875 --> 00:08:38,625 There is a woman covered in filth in the bathroom. 229 00:08:38,708 --> 00:08:40,250 That's me. 230 00:08:40,333 --> 00:08:43,750 Am I just drunk or is that the sounds of evil robot drones? 231 00:08:43,833 --> 00:08:49,875 ♪♪ 232 00:08:49,958 --> 00:08:51,541 [ Screaming ] 233 00:08:51,625 --> 00:08:53,208 This wasn't in the video! 234 00:08:57,166 --> 00:08:58,291 What is happening? 235 00:08:58,375 --> 00:09:00,500 And why are we on La-Z-Boy chairs? 236 00:09:00,583 --> 00:09:02,291 Pleather makes me rashy. 237 00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:04,416 See, this is why you live unplugged. 238 00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:06,791 Everyone close your eyes and repeat after me. 239 00:09:06,875 --> 00:09:10,791 "I am in my body. I am in my body. I am --" 240 00:09:10,875 --> 00:09:12,416 [ Screams ] 241 00:09:12,500 --> 00:09:15,583 A quick brain scan told me that she was annoying. 242 00:09:15,666 --> 00:09:18,416 I merely stunned her into a sleep-like state. 243 00:09:19,750 --> 00:09:23,125 Josh Singleton, you have violated the lease agreement 244 00:09:23,208 --> 00:09:26,625 by hacking Brainio and bypassing the commercials. 245 00:09:26,708 --> 00:09:28,166 Josh, what is he talking about? 246 00:09:28,250 --> 00:09:30,083 Candice and I changed his code 247 00:09:30,166 --> 00:09:31,625 to make Candice get all the answers right. 248 00:09:31,708 --> 00:09:34,083 What?! Since you tried beating the system, 249 00:09:34,166 --> 00:09:38,416 you'll pay the price by watching commercials forever! 250 00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:39,916 That's inhuman! 251 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:41,958 Yeah! Streaming got rid of commercials, 252 00:09:42,041 --> 00:09:44,416 and I do not want to go back to the dark ages. 253 00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:46,500 I should of never gotten her that robot tutor. 254 00:09:46,583 --> 00:09:49,333 We should've just pushed her towards sports. 255 00:09:49,416 --> 00:09:51,000 Candice, what are you doing? 256 00:09:51,083 --> 00:09:52,500 Proving I'm not dumb! 257 00:09:52,583 --> 00:09:55,541 Ah, no matter, I'm password protected. 258 00:09:55,625 --> 00:09:57,125 You'll never guess my -- 259 00:09:57,208 --> 00:09:58,666 [ Beeping ] 260 00:09:58,750 --> 00:10:02,416 Uh, guys, there are a lot of buttons with letters on them. 261 00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:04,750 Find the one that says "self-destruct," sweetie. 262 00:10:04,833 --> 00:10:06,166 Uhh... 263 00:10:07,583 --> 00:10:10,791 -Just reading about self-esteem. -Self... 264 00:10:10,875 --> 00:10:13,791 A, B, C, D, E, F, G. D... 265 00:10:13,875 --> 00:10:16,333 Hey, my Estruct T-shirt just came in the mail. 266 00:10:16,416 --> 00:10:18,458 Not sure what it means, but I like it. 267 00:10:18,541 --> 00:10:20,250 Self-destruct. 268 00:10:20,333 --> 00:10:21,666 Self destruct! 269 00:10:24,083 --> 00:10:26,166 [ Alarm blaring ] No! 270 00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:29,541 Ironically, I am proud of her! 271 00:10:29,625 --> 00:10:33,375 ♪♪ 272 00:10:33,458 --> 00:10:34,708 To Candice. 273 00:10:34,791 --> 00:10:36,333 Our smart little girl. 274 00:10:36,416 --> 00:10:37,666 I'm proud of this one, too. 275 00:10:37,750 --> 00:10:39,916 Three hours without checking her phone once. 276 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:41,750 How about it? [ Sighs ] Yeah, it died, 277 00:10:41,833 --> 00:10:43,208 and I can't find any plugs. 278 00:10:43,291 --> 00:10:45,375 [ Laughs ] [ Cellphone rings ] 279 00:10:45,458 --> 00:10:46,916 Uh-oh. 280 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,541 Uh...hi, Mr. Salt. 281 00:10:48,625 --> 00:10:50,541 Hi, Emily. I'm just calling to see 282 00:10:50,625 --> 00:10:52,208 how you're enjoying the condo. 283 00:10:52,291 --> 00:10:53,416 [ Laughing ] Oh. 284 00:10:53,500 --> 00:10:55,250 Yeah, it's such a beautiful place. 285 00:10:55,333 --> 00:10:57,458 Aw, that's great to hear. 286 00:10:57,541 --> 00:11:00,916 So, uh, where is it? 287 00:11:05,416 --> 00:11:08,500 Alex: But every time that boulder got to the top of the mountain, 288 00:11:08,583 --> 00:11:10,083 it rolled back down. 289 00:11:10,166 --> 00:11:11,416 Lee: Yeah, that's right, girl. 290 00:11:11,500 --> 00:11:12,958 Uh, we'll go to the cemetery later. 291 00:11:13,041 --> 00:11:14,583 Um, they're playing that movie "Goonies," right? 292 00:11:14,666 --> 00:11:16,208 So we can hook up on my nana's grave. 293 00:11:16,291 --> 00:11:17,583 It'll be so romantic. 294 00:11:17,666 --> 00:11:20,416 Lee, I told you -- you can't be on the phone! 295 00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:21,791 It's called grave throbbing. 296 00:11:21,875 --> 00:11:23,083 Lee! Wait, hold up, girl. 297 00:11:23,166 --> 00:11:24,250 Yo, what's up, Dorp? 298 00:11:24,333 --> 00:11:26,041 It's "Professor Dorpenberger." 299 00:11:26,125 --> 00:11:27,250 Oh, sorry, Dorp. 300 00:11:27,333 --> 00:11:29,166 Hey, can you throw this in the trash for me? 301 00:11:29,250 --> 00:11:30,708 Um, I got a boner right now, 302 00:11:30,791 --> 00:11:33,375 so it's, like...I don't want anybody to see it -- 303 00:11:33,458 --> 00:11:34,708 unless you want me to. 304 00:11:34,791 --> 00:11:37,958 Lee, I am legally not allowed to hit you. 305 00:11:38,750 --> 00:11:41,291 Okay. I am dead inside. 306 00:11:41,375 --> 00:11:51,291 ♪♪ 307 00:11:51,375 --> 00:11:55,083 ♪♪ 308 00:11:55,166 --> 00:11:56,958 Dante: People are starving all over the world, 309 00:11:57,041 --> 00:11:59,958 and this dude is getting a TV installed on his yacht? 310 00:12:00,041 --> 00:12:01,458 America is so cool. 311 00:12:01,541 --> 00:12:03,333 Hey, just come on up, guys! 312 00:12:03,416 --> 00:12:05,625 [ Laughs ] Josh Singleton?! 313 00:12:05,708 --> 00:12:07,041 Uh...yeah? 314 00:12:07,125 --> 00:12:10,125 Dude, Josh! It's me -- Keith Nash! 315 00:12:10,208 --> 00:12:12,166 Nash Man Games? 316 00:12:12,250 --> 00:12:13,541 No way! 317 00:12:13,625 --> 00:12:15,416 I haven't seen you since you sold your game "Heli Man" 318 00:12:15,500 --> 00:12:17,208 and became heli-rich. 319 00:12:17,291 --> 00:12:20,625 We just sold 100 million copies of our latest app, 320 00:12:20,708 --> 00:12:23,083 got voted best video game company of the year, 321 00:12:23,166 --> 00:12:26,208 [ Singsong voice ] and check out who made the cover! 322 00:12:26,291 --> 00:12:28,833 [ Normal voice ] No retouching at all. 323 00:12:28,916 --> 00:12:31,000 Back in the day, we used to worship this guy. 324 00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:32,208 What guy? This guy? 325 00:12:32,291 --> 00:12:34,250 His game "Dudeman" was the shizz! 326 00:12:34,333 --> 00:12:35,791 How much you sell that baby for? 327 00:12:35,875 --> 00:12:37,500 You know, it's not finished. 328 00:12:37,583 --> 00:12:38,958 It might never be finished. 329 00:12:39,041 --> 00:12:41,791 Artist! Dude, I love it! 330 00:12:41,875 --> 00:12:43,375 [ Helicopter blades whirring ] Look, I better take off. 331 00:12:43,458 --> 00:12:45,333 I'm doing this sold-out keynote speech at E3. 332 00:12:45,416 --> 00:12:47,416 [ Snorts ] Did it last year. 333 00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:49,666 Well, anyway, thanks for plugging in my TV! 334 00:12:49,750 --> 00:12:51,833 Just make sure to lock up when you're done! 335 00:12:51,916 --> 00:12:54,583 I think this is actually pretty retouched. 336 00:12:54,666 --> 00:12:57,083 [ Laughter ] 337 00:12:57,166 --> 00:12:59,166 [ Grunts ] And these 90-degree angles 338 00:12:59,250 --> 00:13:02,125 should get you to remember the Pythagorean theorem! 339 00:13:02,208 --> 00:13:03,875 [ Grunting ] 340 00:13:05,875 --> 00:13:07,166 [ Cheering ] 341 00:13:07,250 --> 00:13:10,125 Oh, my God. She just makes me want to learn. 342 00:13:10,208 --> 00:13:11,833 Wow. That was amazing. 343 00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:13,208 Yeah, I can't feel my arms, 344 00:13:13,291 --> 00:13:14,875 but at least my students are learning math. 345 00:13:14,958 --> 00:13:17,708 I can't get my students to pay attention to a word I say. 346 00:13:17,791 --> 00:13:18,875 Kids today need a gimmick, 347 00:13:18,958 --> 00:13:20,666 or you won't break through to them. 348 00:13:20,750 --> 00:13:22,666 ♪♪ 349 00:13:22,750 --> 00:13:24,458 I guess when I taught at UCLA, 350 00:13:24,541 --> 00:13:26,416 the students loved my special lecture 351 00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:28,041 as Professor Dorpen-Borat. 352 00:13:28,125 --> 00:13:29,750 [ European accent ] Joan of Arc was hot. 353 00:13:29,833 --> 00:13:31,541 She burned at stake. 354 00:13:31,625 --> 00:13:33,166 Wah, wah, wee, wah! 355 00:13:33,250 --> 00:13:34,708 My buddy's a professor at Yale, 356 00:13:34,791 --> 00:13:37,125 and he changed his class to Stunting Through History -- 357 00:13:37,208 --> 00:13:39,333 ditched his whole curriculum for stunts. 358 00:13:39,416 --> 00:13:41,416 [ Chuckles ] You do what you got to do. 359 00:13:41,500 --> 00:13:42,666 Hmm. 360 00:13:42,750 --> 00:13:45,166 Alex: So, Icarus took the handmade wings 361 00:13:45,250 --> 00:13:48,125 and, ignoring his father's sound advice, 362 00:13:48,208 --> 00:13:50,166 flew towards the sun -- 363 00:13:50,250 --> 00:13:53,875 just as I will now fly across these two buildings. 364 00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:55,666 Hey, that's a pretty long jump, Dorp. 365 00:13:55,750 --> 00:13:57,166 I hope you have insurance. 366 00:13:57,250 --> 00:13:59,708 I don't need insurance. [ Chuckles ] 367 00:13:59,791 --> 00:14:01,375 [ Whispering ] But I kind of wish I had it. 368 00:14:01,458 --> 00:14:04,250 Hey, what's the holdup, Dorp? Are you doing this or not? 369 00:14:04,333 --> 00:14:05,583 Oh, I'm doing this. 370 00:14:05,666 --> 00:14:07,541 I'm so doing this. 371 00:14:07,625 --> 00:14:09,333 And you... [Exhales sharply] 372 00:14:09,416 --> 00:14:11,250 will be... [Exhales sharply] 373 00:14:11,333 --> 00:14:13,333 engaaaaaaaged! 374 00:14:14,333 --> 00:14:16,416 [ Sighs ] Ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! 375 00:14:16,500 --> 00:14:18,208 Oh! Whoa! Aaah! Ooh! 376 00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:20,916 Aaaaaaah! Ungh! Aaaaaaaaaah! 377 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,208 [ Sirens wailing ] [ Alex groaning ] 378 00:14:22,291 --> 00:14:23,750 Shh, shh, shh. It's okay. That's okay. 379 00:14:23,833 --> 00:14:26,416 Yo, Dorp, what's your Instagram, so I can tag you? 380 00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:32,083 ♪♪ 381 00:14:32,166 --> 00:14:34,708 Nash: His game "Dudeman" was the shizz! 382 00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:36,708 [ Echoing ] Shizz! 383 00:14:36,791 --> 00:14:40,166 ♪♪ 384 00:14:40,250 --> 00:14:42,125 [ Computer whirs ] 385 00:14:42,208 --> 00:14:43,291 [ Beep ] 386 00:14:43,375 --> 00:14:44,916 D-- D-- Dudeman! 387 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,291 Pfft. Of course. 388 00:14:46,375 --> 00:14:47,625 ♪♪ 389 00:14:47,708 --> 00:14:48,958 D-- D-- Dude-- 390 00:14:49,041 --> 00:14:50,291 ♪♪ 391 00:14:50,375 --> 00:14:52,333 D-- D-- Dude-- 392 00:14:52,416 --> 00:14:53,541 Ugh! 393 00:14:53,625 --> 00:14:55,708 [ Electricity crackles ] 394 00:14:55,791 --> 00:14:57,041 [ Distorted ] Dudeman. 395 00:14:57,125 --> 00:14:58,375 Ugh! 396 00:14:58,458 --> 00:15:01,500 Hey, bro. Long time, no see. 397 00:15:01,583 --> 00:15:03,291 What the... 398 00:15:03,375 --> 00:15:05,875 Where you been, bud? Why'd you bail on me? 399 00:15:05,958 --> 00:15:07,000 I didn't bail! 400 00:15:07,083 --> 00:15:09,166 Dude! You were so close! 401 00:15:09,250 --> 00:15:10,958 ♪♪ 402 00:15:11,041 --> 00:15:14,708 Josh: Yeah, but don't you remember the presentation? 403 00:15:14,791 --> 00:15:17,458 I give you "Dudeman"! 404 00:15:17,541 --> 00:15:19,416 [ Cheers and applause ] 405 00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:20,875 D-- D-- Dudeman! 406 00:15:20,958 --> 00:15:23,208 [ Video game music plays, skipping ] 407 00:15:23,291 --> 00:15:24,791 This game isn't even finished? 408 00:15:24,875 --> 00:15:26,250 [ Audience booing ] Uh, that's not supposed to -- 409 00:15:26,333 --> 00:15:27,666 Hang on. 410 00:15:27,750 --> 00:15:28,958 Oh, man! Boo! 411 00:15:29,041 --> 00:15:30,875 Let's go check out "Helicopter Man" 412 00:15:30,958 --> 00:15:32,958 or whatever that one game was called. 413 00:15:33,041 --> 00:15:34,333 [ Thud echoes ] 414 00:15:34,416 --> 00:15:38,000 It was the worst moment of my life. 415 00:15:38,083 --> 00:15:39,375 Come on, bro! 416 00:15:39,458 --> 00:15:40,625 [ Blipping ] 417 00:15:40,708 --> 00:15:43,833 It's time you finally finished this game! 418 00:15:43,916 --> 00:15:46,125 Yeah, but I don't know what to do for the last level. 419 00:15:46,208 --> 00:15:48,125 That's because you're all old now. 420 00:15:48,208 --> 00:15:50,208 If you want to come up with better ideas, 421 00:15:50,291 --> 00:15:53,541 you got to get in touch with your 20-year-old self. 422 00:15:53,625 --> 00:15:55,666 [ Funky music plays ] 423 00:15:55,750 --> 00:15:58,333 ♪♪ 424 00:15:58,416 --> 00:16:01,541 [ Engine revs ] 425 00:16:01,625 --> 00:16:03,708 Bodacious! 426 00:16:03,791 --> 00:16:06,208 [ Rock music plays ] 427 00:16:06,291 --> 00:16:08,375 Alex: Ahh! Thanks for introducing me to your friend. 428 00:16:08,458 --> 00:16:10,583 One of my students posted this video on Instagram, 429 00:16:10,666 --> 00:16:12,000 and it's humiliating. 430 00:16:12,083 --> 00:16:13,958 Ungh! Aaaaaaaaaah! 431 00:16:14,750 --> 00:16:18,625 The Internet has made us all ruthless animals. 432 00:16:18,708 --> 00:16:20,500 Hold up! Oh, right. 433 00:16:20,583 --> 00:16:21,791 Mm-hmm. Good to go. 434 00:16:21,875 --> 00:16:24,291 Ooooh! Ugh! Whoo! 435 00:16:25,208 --> 00:16:26,708 Ugh! [ Groans ] 436 00:16:26,791 --> 00:16:27,916 What a rush! 437 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:29,791 There she is. 438 00:16:29,875 --> 00:16:33,458 She was married to the greatest stuntman of all time. 439 00:16:33,541 --> 00:16:35,083 Genevieve? 440 00:16:35,166 --> 00:16:37,125 Well, well, well. 441 00:16:37,208 --> 00:16:38,833 You got a lot of nerve showing up here 442 00:16:38,916 --> 00:16:40,625 after keeping our security deposit. 443 00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:43,166 Uh... Oh, my God! 444 00:16:43,250 --> 00:16:45,041 [ Both laugh ] 445 00:16:45,125 --> 00:16:47,416 We used to do that bit all the time at the apartment. 446 00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:49,333 I miss those days. 447 00:16:49,416 --> 00:16:50,666 You must be Alex. 448 00:16:50,750 --> 00:16:51,916 Eh, yeah. 449 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,666 I heard you need some help with a stunt. 450 00:16:53,750 --> 00:16:55,250 Follow me. 451 00:16:55,333 --> 00:16:59,208 [ Both grunting ] 452 00:16:59,291 --> 00:17:02,791 ♪♪ 453 00:17:02,875 --> 00:17:04,291 Josh? 454 00:17:04,375 --> 00:17:06,250 ♪♪ 455 00:17:06,333 --> 00:17:09,291 [ Dramatic music plays ] 456 00:17:09,375 --> 00:17:10,458 [ Belches ] 457 00:17:10,541 --> 00:17:12,083 Josh! What did you do?! 458 00:17:12,166 --> 00:17:14,708 [ Chuckles ] I did everything -- 459 00:17:14,791 --> 00:17:16,750 partying, skating, 460 00:17:16,833 --> 00:17:18,000 and doing the 'do! 461 00:17:18,083 --> 00:17:19,416 Remember how cool these were? 462 00:17:19,500 --> 00:17:21,750 No one remembers that, Josh! Why are you doing this? 463 00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:25,125 I'm just trying to finish my old game, "Dudeman"! 464 00:17:25,208 --> 00:17:27,583 "Dudeman"?! That's why you've been out all night?! 465 00:17:27,666 --> 00:17:29,875 Haven't you ever wondered what our lives would be like 466 00:17:29,958 --> 00:17:31,208 if I hadn't given up? 467 00:17:31,291 --> 00:17:33,541 Well, as soon as I'm a little less wasted, 468 00:17:33,625 --> 00:17:35,791 we're gonna find out! 469 00:17:35,875 --> 00:17:37,125 [ Groans ] 470 00:17:37,208 --> 00:17:39,166 [ Sighs ] 471 00:17:39,250 --> 00:17:41,666 Genevieve: This is the stunt library. 472 00:17:41,750 --> 00:17:43,666 Every great stunt ever performed 473 00:17:43,750 --> 00:17:46,666 is immortalized in these walls. 474 00:17:46,750 --> 00:17:48,958 Alex: "The Joys of Almost Dying"? 475 00:17:49,041 --> 00:17:51,166 "Circumcision by Fire"? 476 00:17:51,250 --> 00:17:53,791 "100 Word Jumbles"? 477 00:17:53,875 --> 00:17:55,875 That shouldn't be in here. 478 00:17:56,750 --> 00:17:58,500 Whoa! 479 00:17:58,583 --> 00:18:00,291 Interesting choice. 480 00:18:00,375 --> 00:18:03,125 That stunt began in ancient Egypt 481 00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:06,791 with a man trying to get the attention of a handmaiden. 482 00:18:06,875 --> 00:18:08,375 The French had their spin on it, 483 00:18:08,458 --> 00:18:10,083 the Chinese after them, 484 00:18:10,166 --> 00:18:12,125 and so on. 485 00:18:12,208 --> 00:18:13,458 What's it called? 486 00:18:13,541 --> 00:18:15,166 The Widow Maker. 487 00:18:15,250 --> 00:18:17,541 ♪♪ 488 00:18:17,625 --> 00:18:18,916 We all want eyes on us, 489 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:22,833 but if we're reckless, it comes with a huge price. 490 00:18:22,916 --> 00:18:24,708 No, no, no. You're right. 491 00:18:24,791 --> 00:18:26,791 JK! I'll do it! [ Laughs ] 492 00:18:26,875 --> 00:18:29,833 Wait! I was trying to talk you out of it, you idiot! 493 00:18:29,916 --> 00:18:31,041 [ Engine revs ] 494 00:18:31,125 --> 00:18:33,125 [ Tires squeal ] 495 00:18:36,208 --> 00:18:39,541 ♪♪ 496 00:18:39,625 --> 00:18:41,375 [ Engine idling ] 497 00:18:41,458 --> 00:18:43,500 Well, congratulations, dummy. 498 00:18:43,583 --> 00:18:44,875 You got a PhD from Stanford 499 00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:46,541 so you could die doing this stunt 500 00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:48,500 for some community college dum-dums 501 00:18:48,583 --> 00:18:50,125 who threw a paper at you. 502 00:18:50,208 --> 00:18:51,375 Okay! 503 00:18:51,458 --> 00:18:52,791 So, today, we're learning 504 00:18:52,875 --> 00:18:56,208 about the greatest widow maker of all -- Zeus! 505 00:18:56,291 --> 00:18:58,208 Dorp! Man, don't do it. 506 00:18:58,291 --> 00:18:59,708 I thought you guys wanted this. 507 00:18:59,791 --> 00:19:02,416 I mean, we love seeing dudes do stupid shit, 508 00:19:02,500 --> 00:19:04,541 but you're our boy, Dorp. 509 00:19:04,625 --> 00:19:06,708 I'm...your boy? 510 00:19:06,791 --> 00:19:08,500 It's like that dude Sisyphus. 511 00:19:08,583 --> 00:19:10,708 He kept trying to push that car up the mountain, 512 00:19:10,791 --> 00:19:12,750 but he couldn't handle it, and he quit. 513 00:19:12,833 --> 00:19:15,666 Eh, technically, Sisyphus couldn't quit. 514 00:19:15,750 --> 00:19:18,125 But you know what? You got most of it. 515 00:19:18,208 --> 00:19:19,541 Well, check this out, Dorp. 516 00:19:19,625 --> 00:19:22,291 You're our Sisyphus. 517 00:19:22,375 --> 00:19:23,791 Wah, wah, wee, wah. 518 00:19:23,875 --> 00:19:25,000 You know, it's kind of -- 519 00:19:25,083 --> 00:19:26,458 [ Engine revs ] Whoa! 520 00:19:26,541 --> 00:19:28,375 [ Tires squealing ] Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 521 00:19:28,458 --> 00:19:29,625 Whoooa! 522 00:19:29,708 --> 00:19:31,791 Aaaaaaaaaah! 523 00:19:31,875 --> 00:19:33,041 Ugh! 524 00:19:33,125 --> 00:19:34,416 [ Grunting ] 525 00:19:34,500 --> 00:19:36,083 [ Sirens wailing ] 526 00:19:36,166 --> 00:19:37,250 Dorp! 527 00:19:37,333 --> 00:19:38,458 What is it, Lee? 528 00:19:38,541 --> 00:19:39,750 I'm-a post this right quick. 529 00:19:39,833 --> 00:19:42,250 [ Grunting ] 530 00:19:42,333 --> 00:19:43,666 [ Strained ] Go for it, man. 531 00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:46,166 Ohh! So, there's not gonna be any stunts?! 532 00:19:46,250 --> 00:19:47,666 [ Engine revs ] 533 00:19:47,750 --> 00:19:51,333 Who wants to see me drop-kick this jump in the dick?! 534 00:19:51,416 --> 00:19:53,958 Uh-oh. [ Cheering ] 535 00:19:56,041 --> 00:19:57,583 [ Cheering, engine revs ] 536 00:19:58,666 --> 00:19:59,916 Josh! Buddy! 537 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,750 You maybe want to consider not doing this? 538 00:20:02,833 --> 00:20:04,333 Consider this! 539 00:20:04,416 --> 00:20:05,666 Whoo-hoo! [ Tires squeal ] 540 00:20:05,750 --> 00:20:08,458 Okay. That is pretty cool. 541 00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:09,666 Josh! Stop! 542 00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:12,166 Dad! Ramirez! 543 00:20:12,250 --> 00:20:15,833 We should go grab a drink after I crush this stunt! 544 00:20:15,916 --> 00:20:18,291 Josh, get off that thing! You're gonna kill yourself! 545 00:20:18,375 --> 00:20:19,541 I'm not getting off! 546 00:20:19,625 --> 00:20:21,750 I don't want to be a failure anymore. 547 00:20:21,833 --> 00:20:23,666 What?! You're not a failure. 548 00:20:23,750 --> 00:20:26,625 Psh! Current-day you is a total failure! 549 00:20:26,708 --> 00:20:29,708 Unless you finally finish your game! 550 00:20:30,541 --> 00:20:33,500 [ Engine revs ] Josh! Look at me. 551 00:20:34,541 --> 00:20:36,291 You're not a failure. 552 00:20:36,375 --> 00:20:39,125 [ Acoustic guitar playing ] 553 00:20:42,666 --> 00:20:47,541 ♪ Oooooooh ♪ 554 00:20:49,458 --> 00:20:53,791 ♪ Oooooooo-o-oh ♪ 555 00:20:55,916 --> 00:20:57,166 You're right. I'm sorry. 556 00:20:57,250 --> 00:20:58,791 I guess I thought this was the only way 557 00:20:58,875 --> 00:21:00,500 that I could fulfill my dream, 558 00:21:00,583 --> 00:21:02,708 but...dreams change. 559 00:21:04,791 --> 00:21:06,291 What?! No! 560 00:21:06,375 --> 00:21:10,333 We want the fame, the fortune, the cover of the magazine! 561 00:21:10,416 --> 00:21:11,458 Aah! Ugh! 562 00:21:11,541 --> 00:21:12,875 [ Groaning ] Stop it! 563 00:21:12,958 --> 00:21:15,250 What the hell? Ugh! Ow! 564 00:21:15,333 --> 00:21:19,250 I'm not going back to that hard drive! 565 00:21:19,333 --> 00:21:22,166 [ Engine revs, tires squeal ] 566 00:21:23,291 --> 00:21:24,666 [ Gasps ] 567 00:21:24,750 --> 00:21:26,958 [ Gasps ] This is it! 568 00:21:27,041 --> 00:21:29,708 This should be the last level of the game! 569 00:21:29,791 --> 00:21:32,750 No way! Game over, Dudeman. 570 00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:34,000 No! Wait! 571 00:21:34,083 --> 00:21:36,750 I'd rather hang out with my family! 572 00:21:36,833 --> 00:21:37,958 Ugh! 573 00:21:38,041 --> 00:21:40,041 Nooooooooo! 574 00:21:40,125 --> 00:21:41,791 Hwuah-ah-ah! 575 00:21:41,875 --> 00:21:44,166 "F" you, Josh! 576 00:21:44,250 --> 00:21:46,791 "F" yoooooou... 577 00:21:46,875 --> 00:21:48,000 [ Engine revs ] 578 00:21:48,083 --> 00:21:51,000 [ Tires squeal ] 579 00:21:51,083 --> 00:21:52,125 Yeah! 580 00:21:52,208 --> 00:21:54,291 We're gonna talk about this later! 581 00:21:55,416 --> 00:21:56,833 [ All gasp ] 582 00:21:56,916 --> 00:21:58,041 Like Icarus, 583 00:21:58,125 --> 00:21:59,875 that dude flew way too close to the Sun. 584 00:21:59,958 --> 00:22:01,250 [ High-pitched ] Aw! 585 00:22:01,333 --> 00:22:11,208 ♪♪ 586 00:22:11,291 --> 00:22:21,083 ♪♪ 587 00:22:21,166 --> 00:22:31,041 ♪♪ 588 00:22:31,125 --> 00:22:40,916 ♪♪ 589 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:51,041 ♪♪