1 00:00:01,458 --> 00:00:04,750 ♪♪ 2 00:00:04,833 --> 00:00:06,541 [ Horror movie music plays ] 3 00:00:06,625 --> 00:00:07,750 [ Thunder cracks ] 4 00:00:07,833 --> 00:00:12,166 ♪♪ 5 00:00:12,250 --> 00:00:15,250 [ Urinating ] 6 00:00:15,333 --> 00:00:16,708 Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God! 7 00:00:16,791 --> 00:00:18,958 Ohh. How did this happen? 8 00:00:19,041 --> 00:00:20,625 You know how this happened! 9 00:00:20,708 --> 00:00:22,750 All: Surpri-- Oh. 10 00:00:22,833 --> 00:00:24,208 What are they doing? 11 00:00:24,291 --> 00:00:25,916 We're just doing our taxes, sweetie! 12 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:27,083 Stupid taxes! 13 00:00:27,166 --> 00:00:28,750 I mean, just because we have no money 14 00:00:28,833 --> 00:00:30,916 and we live with a divorced couple in a cramped apartment, 15 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,791 we could squeeze in another kid, right? 16 00:00:32,875 --> 00:00:34,958 I'd just get a second job and give up my dream. 17 00:00:35,041 --> 00:00:36,583 There are plenty of video games in the world already. 18 00:00:36,666 --> 00:00:38,916 Oh, my God, triplets! What if it's triplets?! 19 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:40,958 Em, chill out. Read a magazine. 20 00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:44,041 [ Thunder cracks ] The Octomom! I will cut you! 21 00:00:44,125 --> 00:00:45,791 Okay. Let's take a deep breath. 22 00:00:45,875 --> 00:00:48,541 No matter what happens, we'll be fine. 23 00:00:48,625 --> 00:00:50,916 Do you mean that? No. 24 00:00:51,916 --> 00:00:52,833 [ Thunder cracks ] 25 00:00:52,916 --> 00:00:55,375 Oh, thank God. Whoa. Whoa. 26 00:00:55,458 --> 00:00:56,750 Okay. So... 27 00:00:56,833 --> 00:00:59,166 We're not having a baby. No, no, no. No. 28 00:00:59,250 --> 00:01:00,958 From now on, we're super careful. 29 00:01:01,041 --> 00:01:03,666 Vasectomy party! Whoo! 30 00:01:03,750 --> 00:01:05,458 [ All cheering ] 31 00:01:05,541 --> 00:01:09,958 ♪♪ 32 00:01:10,041 --> 00:01:11,875 You're cut off from planning any more parties. 33 00:01:11,958 --> 00:01:14,458 Whoo! Super careful! 34 00:01:14,541 --> 00:01:22,166 ♪♪ 35 00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:29,708 ♪♪ 36 00:01:29,791 --> 00:01:32,541 Isn't Josh a little young to get his wang danged? 37 00:01:32,625 --> 00:01:35,166 I would never let anyone touch my junk. 38 00:01:35,250 --> 00:01:36,791 No one has so far. 39 00:01:36,875 --> 00:01:39,041 Oh, I walked right into that burn. 40 00:01:39,125 --> 00:01:40,458 I had a vasectomy last year 41 00:01:40,541 --> 00:01:42,750 because I'm sick of this double standard 42 00:01:42,833 --> 00:01:45,208 where women are expected to destroy their bodies 43 00:01:45,291 --> 00:01:46,750 for birth control. 44 00:01:46,833 --> 00:01:49,000 [ Chuckles ] I can't believe I'm meeting a single guy 45 00:01:49,083 --> 00:01:51,625 in L.A. who isn't a total nutjob. 46 00:01:51,708 --> 00:01:54,458 I also got it on account of the government's evil plan 47 00:01:54,541 --> 00:01:57,916 to have us overpopulate the United States for tax revenue. 48 00:01:58,000 --> 00:01:59,333 All I can say is that when we thought 49 00:01:59,416 --> 00:02:02,083 we were having another baby, we freaked. 50 00:02:02,166 --> 00:02:05,125 And Josh was so determined to be a responsible adult. 51 00:02:05,208 --> 00:02:07,708 He's never like that. [ Chugging ] 52 00:02:07,791 --> 00:02:08,916 How did Candice take it? 53 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:10,416 We sort of didn't tell her. 54 00:02:10,500 --> 00:02:12,750 Ugh, what even is a vasectomy party, 55 00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:14,458 and why can't I go to it? 56 00:02:14,541 --> 00:02:16,708 Honey, no one would have a party for that. 57 00:02:16,791 --> 00:02:19,958 Sweet vasectomy party, bro! 58 00:02:20,041 --> 00:02:21,916 What is wrong with people? 59 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:23,166 Well, time to go. 60 00:02:23,250 --> 00:02:24,541 Do you still feel good about it? 61 00:02:24,625 --> 00:02:25,666 Totally. 62 00:02:25,750 --> 00:02:27,041 We weighed all the pros and cons. 63 00:02:27,125 --> 00:02:29,916 ♪♪ 64 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,875 Wow. I've never seen you this responsible before. 65 00:02:32,958 --> 00:02:34,291 It's kind of sexy. 66 00:02:34,375 --> 00:02:37,083 Responsible and sexy. It's the new me. 67 00:02:37,166 --> 00:02:38,375 Let's do it. 68 00:02:38,458 --> 00:02:41,166 I love our family. 69 00:02:41,250 --> 00:02:44,291 I also love our family. 70 00:02:44,375 --> 00:02:45,875 Yeah. Call me after. 71 00:02:45,958 --> 00:02:49,291 Ahhhh, the Calabasas Urology Center. 72 00:02:49,375 --> 00:02:50,666 Before the old vasectomy, 73 00:02:50,750 --> 00:02:53,000 I'd make a lot of "deposits" here. Haha. 74 00:02:53,083 --> 00:02:54,583 Maybe we shouldn't have the type of friendship 75 00:02:54,666 --> 00:02:56,041 where you tell me everything. 76 00:02:56,125 --> 00:02:58,416 It's very rare for a man of your age to be this sure, 77 00:02:58,500 --> 00:03:00,750 but your wife probably made you, right? 78 00:03:00,833 --> 00:03:03,250 No. It was my choice. Weird. 79 00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:05,375 So, you're gonna be my surgeon? 80 00:03:05,458 --> 00:03:08,083 No, the process is completely automated with AI. 81 00:03:08,166 --> 00:03:10,916 Top-of-the-line robots from Boston! 82 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:12,250 Go, Sox! 83 00:03:12,333 --> 00:03:14,250 There's no room for human error! 84 00:03:14,333 --> 00:03:17,083 Now, imagine these grapes are your testes. 85 00:03:17,166 --> 00:03:21,041 And this little guy over here is your vas deferens. 86 00:03:24,875 --> 00:03:27,708 Well, at least vasectomies are reversible, right? 87 00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:30,083 Haha! Not the way we do it. 88 00:03:32,208 --> 00:03:33,208 Ooof. Ooof. 89 00:03:33,291 --> 00:03:34,583 You know, we have a protocol 90 00:03:34,666 --> 00:03:36,500 for nervous patients like you. 91 00:03:36,583 --> 00:03:40,333 [ Carnival music plays ] 92 00:03:40,416 --> 00:03:44,125 I can't believe Candice used to fit in these. 93 00:03:44,208 --> 00:03:46,875 Did we just make the hastiest decision ever? 94 00:03:46,958 --> 00:03:49,458 I always thought you'd have like seven babies. 95 00:03:49,541 --> 00:03:51,333 And I'm not saying it 'cause you're "Mexican," 96 00:03:51,416 --> 00:03:53,541 but because I know you love being a mom. 97 00:03:53,625 --> 00:03:55,791 You can say something about Japanese people if you want. 98 00:03:55,875 --> 00:04:00,125 [ Laughs ] You under arrest for being racist! 99 00:04:00,208 --> 00:04:02,125 Wait... you have the keys, right? 100 00:04:02,208 --> 00:04:03,958 [ Laughs ] 101 00:04:04,041 --> 00:04:05,416 [ Crying ] 102 00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:08,708 This is officially the worst brunch I've ever been to. 103 00:04:08,791 --> 00:04:10,291 Do you think I rushed into this? 104 00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:11,833 Eh, no more than usual. 105 00:04:11,916 --> 00:04:13,666 Ooh, talking sperm! 106 00:04:13,750 --> 00:04:16,666 [ Irish accent ] So long, boys! Enjoy the ride. 107 00:04:16,750 --> 00:04:18,625 Dr. Ferguson: Is a vasectomy right for you? 108 00:04:18,708 --> 00:04:21,458 Who doesn't want to bring more bundles of joy into the world? 109 00:04:21,541 --> 00:04:22,958 [ Baby crying ] 110 00:04:23,041 --> 00:04:24,916 Did you know the average baby goes through 111 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:27,083 2,700 diapers a year? 112 00:04:27,166 --> 00:04:29,500 With that money, you could've bought one of these. 113 00:04:29,583 --> 00:04:31,500 [ Engine revs ] 114 00:04:31,583 --> 00:04:34,458 ♪♪ 115 00:04:34,541 --> 00:04:35,833 [ Snarls ] 116 00:04:35,916 --> 00:04:37,916 Say goodbye to your sleep! 117 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:39,166 [ Both scream ] 118 00:04:39,250 --> 00:04:40,750 Female voice: We're still in love. 119 00:04:40,833 --> 00:04:43,166 Why are you ruining this? 120 00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:45,125 Hey, put your hands up! [ Both laugh ] 121 00:04:45,208 --> 00:04:48,083 Stop! It's only danger ahead! 122 00:04:48,166 --> 00:04:50,708 Dr. Ferguson: And, you know, those little bundles of joy 123 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,375 eventually grow up. 124 00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:55,125 Owww, stop it! I'm telling Dad! 125 00:04:55,208 --> 00:04:57,625 Am I crazy, or do those kids look just like me? 126 00:04:57,708 --> 00:05:00,625 I ate too much pizza. 127 00:05:00,708 --> 00:05:02,375 [ Both retch ] 128 00:05:02,458 --> 00:05:04,208 See? That's why I'm not having kids. 129 00:05:04,291 --> 00:05:06,583 All kids get sick. You just clean it up. 130 00:05:06,666 --> 00:05:10,125 ♪ Have another son and your life is done ♪ 131 00:05:10,208 --> 00:05:13,833 ♪ Have another daughter, put your finances underwater ♪ 132 00:05:13,916 --> 00:05:15,958 Pretty terrifying journey, right? 133 00:05:16,041 --> 00:05:17,375 Now, how about your pubic area? 134 00:05:17,458 --> 00:05:18,916 Do you want it shaved clean 135 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,041 or shaped into a little triangle? 136 00:05:21,125 --> 00:05:24,375 Also, for an extra $50, I can make a custom design! 137 00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:26,166 [ Chuckles nervously ] Uh...you know what? 138 00:05:26,250 --> 00:05:27,541 I'm having second thoughts. 139 00:05:27,625 --> 00:05:29,125 I -- I just want to call my wife one more time. 140 00:05:29,208 --> 00:05:32,083 Damn it. Of course you can't get a good connection 141 00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:33,541 at a vasectomy clinic. 142 00:05:33,625 --> 00:05:35,375 I know Emily was into this whole thing, 143 00:05:35,458 --> 00:05:37,125 but seeing a brother and sister together 144 00:05:37,208 --> 00:05:39,416 made me think we're rushing into this decision. 145 00:05:39,500 --> 00:05:40,916 What the...? 146 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:46,000 ♪♪ 147 00:05:46,083 --> 00:05:47,625 Ahhhhh! Please don't murder us! 148 00:05:49,333 --> 00:05:50,416 Huh? Huh? 149 00:05:50,500 --> 00:05:52,750 [ Crying ] It's like her whole childhood 150 00:05:52,833 --> 00:05:54,250 is in these boxes. 151 00:05:54,333 --> 00:05:56,333 What if I'm not ready to tape up boxes? 152 00:05:56,416 --> 00:05:59,541 What if I have more boxes to pack with other kids' clothes? 153 00:05:59,625 --> 00:06:01,166 I gotta get to that clinic! 154 00:06:01,250 --> 00:06:02,875 Is this gonna take much longer? 155 00:06:02,958 --> 00:06:04,833 Lord, I'm pretty drunk, 156 00:06:04,916 --> 00:06:06,125 so I don't know. 157 00:06:06,208 --> 00:06:07,916 -Close the door! -You guys are real? 158 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,958 I can't believe you're not animatronic. 159 00:06:10,041 --> 00:06:12,625 Your movements are just beyond. Thanks. 160 00:06:12,708 --> 00:06:14,208 We actually moved to Los Angeles 161 00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:15,666 to pursue a career in poppin' and lockin'. 162 00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:17,791 But now we can't pop and lock 163 00:06:17,875 --> 00:06:21,416 because Dr. Ferguson has us on an exclusive contract! 164 00:06:21,500 --> 00:06:22,750 What did your parents say? 165 00:06:22,833 --> 00:06:24,583 Our mom thought it would be good for our careers. 166 00:06:24,666 --> 00:06:27,083 And we've never met our dad. He was just a sperm donor. 167 00:06:27,166 --> 00:06:29,125 Sperm...donor? 168 00:06:29,208 --> 00:06:31,333 I guess some parents aren't meant to raise kids. 169 00:06:31,416 --> 00:06:32,625 Alex and Cameron: Especially because 170 00:06:32,708 --> 00:06:34,458 of the government conspiracy 171 00:06:34,541 --> 00:06:36,458 to overpopulate the planet. 172 00:06:36,541 --> 00:06:38,625 Dr. Ferguson: Mr. Singleton? 173 00:06:38,708 --> 00:06:41,458 I've got the crotch Novocain ready. 174 00:06:41,541 --> 00:06:43,250 Quick! Hide! 175 00:06:43,333 --> 00:06:44,708 I don't know what to do, man. 176 00:06:44,791 --> 00:06:46,958 Something's telling me do not get a vasectomy! 177 00:06:47,041 --> 00:06:49,000 My feelings about all this have changed, too... 178 00:06:49,083 --> 00:06:51,875 now that I'm a father! 179 00:06:53,291 --> 00:06:55,125 Wait. What do you mean you're a father? 180 00:06:55,208 --> 00:06:56,666 Um...look at them! 181 00:06:56,750 --> 00:07:00,083 It doesn't take Rizzoli and/or Isles to figure this out. 182 00:07:00,166 --> 00:07:02,666 Dr. Ferguson: You better not be popping and/or locking in there! 183 00:07:02,750 --> 00:07:03,958 Oh, no, uh... 184 00:07:04,041 --> 00:07:05,333 Kids who can pop and lock are a dime a dozen 185 00:07:05,416 --> 00:07:07,583 in L.A. Uh, M-Mr. Singleton! 186 00:07:07,666 --> 00:07:09,458 The robots are ready for you! 187 00:07:09,541 --> 00:07:11,833 Does he always talk to you like that? 188 00:07:11,916 --> 00:07:14,791 Well, sometimes he shows us new pubic-hair designs. 189 00:07:14,875 --> 00:07:16,500 Those are the tough days. 190 00:07:16,583 --> 00:07:20,125 No more tough days for you! We're busting you outta here! 191 00:07:20,208 --> 00:07:22,000 And I will be there for you! 192 00:07:22,083 --> 00:07:23,166 From now on! 193 00:07:23,250 --> 00:07:25,458 Whatever you need, just ask me! 194 00:07:25,541 --> 00:07:26,958 Is he always like this? 195 00:07:27,041 --> 00:07:28,666 I'm not sure what's happening with him right now. 196 00:07:28,750 --> 00:07:30,833 I can't find the patient. 197 00:07:32,541 --> 00:07:34,833 Oh. [ Breathing heavily ] 198 00:07:34,916 --> 00:07:37,875 [ Gasping ] W-- I -- Oh, no. 199 00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:40,083 [ Alarm blares ] 200 00:07:41,416 --> 00:07:43,666 Josh! Huh? Excuse me? 201 00:07:43,750 --> 00:07:45,083 I'm trying to find my husband. 202 00:07:45,166 --> 00:07:46,500 Robot: [ Boston accent ] Never heard of the guy. 203 00:07:46,583 --> 00:07:47,875 Get back in your car. 204 00:07:47,958 --> 00:07:50,250 Ahhhh! 205 00:07:51,166 --> 00:07:52,791 Come on. 206 00:07:53,750 --> 00:07:56,875 Let's get this vasectomy party started. 207 00:07:56,958 --> 00:08:00,000 ♪♪ 208 00:08:00,083 --> 00:08:01,416 Hey! 209 00:08:02,625 --> 00:08:05,416 [ Grunts ] Come on, let's get out of here! 210 00:08:05,500 --> 00:08:07,083 Get back here, bro. 211 00:08:07,166 --> 00:08:11,208 ♪♪ 212 00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:13,583 Consider your family! Consider your future! 213 00:08:13,666 --> 00:08:15,500 Consider Nomar for the hall of fame! 214 00:08:15,583 --> 00:08:18,041 Consider this! [ Grunts ] 215 00:08:21,041 --> 00:08:22,375 Whoa, that was awesome! 216 00:08:22,458 --> 00:08:23,583 Josh? Emily! 217 00:08:23,666 --> 00:08:25,125 What are you doing here? 218 00:08:25,208 --> 00:08:27,041 I was looking through all of Candice's old clothes. 219 00:08:27,125 --> 00:08:28,625 I'm not ready to commit to no more kids. 220 00:08:28,708 --> 00:08:30,541 I feel the same way. But wait... 221 00:08:30,625 --> 00:08:32,291 I thought you were really into me being responsible? 222 00:08:32,375 --> 00:08:35,583 Us communicating like this is responsible. 223 00:08:38,041 --> 00:08:40,083 We'll talk more about this later! 224 00:08:40,166 --> 00:08:43,666 ♪♪ 225 00:08:43,750 --> 00:08:46,916 Aah! Oh, my gosh. So, the robots enslaved you, too? 226 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:49,583 Yes! Well, I mean, I get to go home every night. 227 00:08:49,666 --> 00:08:51,416 Were you at least gonna call the cops? 228 00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:52,666 Hey, I was going to, all right? 229 00:08:52,750 --> 00:08:54,625 Well, if being complicit is wrong, 230 00:08:54,708 --> 00:08:57,083 then strike me down right now! 231 00:08:57,166 --> 00:08:59,208 [ All gasp ] 232 00:08:59,291 --> 00:09:01,583 Don't worry, kids. Dad's gonna protect you. 233 00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:03,250 Wait, what? You're not our dad. 234 00:09:03,333 --> 00:09:05,875 Our dad's a Republican senator from Florida. 235 00:09:05,958 --> 00:09:07,291 So embarrassing. 236 00:09:07,375 --> 00:09:09,791 I mean, if you don't believe us, check the database. 237 00:09:09,875 --> 00:09:18,291 ♪♪ 238 00:09:18,375 --> 00:09:20,958 Noooooooo! 239 00:09:21,041 --> 00:09:23,458 ♪♪ 240 00:09:23,541 --> 00:09:26,125 Enough pissing around. Time to make it final. 241 00:09:26,208 --> 00:09:27,875 No reversies. No call-backs. 242 00:09:27,958 --> 00:09:30,291 Wait! Over here! 243 00:09:30,375 --> 00:09:34,458 ♪♪ 244 00:09:34,541 --> 00:09:37,958 [ Screams ] No one hurts the children I briefly thought were my own! 245 00:09:38,041 --> 00:09:40,750 Silence! You're getting this procedure, bro! 246 00:09:40,833 --> 00:09:42,125 Sorry, robots. 247 00:09:42,208 --> 00:09:46,000 We make our family decisions as a family! 248 00:09:46,083 --> 00:09:47,458 [ Grunts ] 249 00:09:48,416 --> 00:09:50,625 You are worse than Jeter. 250 00:09:50,708 --> 00:09:51,916 Go, Sox! 251 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:54,208 [ Beeping ] 252 00:09:56,583 --> 00:09:59,916 Dying sounds. 253 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,208 [ Laughter ] 254 00:10:01,291 --> 00:10:04,791 You two are free to pop and lock 255 00:10:04,875 --> 00:10:06,708 wherever you wish! 256 00:10:06,791 --> 00:10:09,208 Ohh, I-I know I'm not your dad. 257 00:10:09,291 --> 00:10:12,000 But you two have a bright future ahead of you. 258 00:10:12,083 --> 00:10:13,333 If you ever need anything, 259 00:10:13,416 --> 00:10:16,125 I live in a closet in Los Feliz. 260 00:10:16,208 --> 00:10:19,000 ♪♪ 261 00:10:19,083 --> 00:10:20,500 Hey, what do you say we celebrate 262 00:10:20,583 --> 00:10:22,333 by doing our taxes later? 263 00:10:22,416 --> 00:10:25,833 I've got some serious exemptions I'd like you to take. 264 00:10:25,916 --> 00:10:28,625 I don't know what that means, but I'm in! 265 00:10:30,041 --> 00:10:32,000 I'm sorry that you don't have any Dorpenbabies 266 00:10:32,083 --> 00:10:33,708 running around out there. 267 00:10:33,791 --> 00:10:35,416 Eh, I'm not worried about it. 268 00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:37,625 I decided to reverse my vasectomy, 269 00:10:37,708 --> 00:10:39,875 and I made a little deposit at Balls Fargo. 270 00:10:39,958 --> 00:10:41,083 [ Chuckles ] 271 00:10:41,166 --> 00:10:43,833 And I need another drink. 272 00:10:43,916 --> 00:10:48,500 Oh, there will be Dorpenbabies in the future... 273 00:10:48,583 --> 00:10:52,875 and they will be glorious. 274 00:10:52,958 --> 00:10:55,583 ♪♪ 275 00:10:55,666 --> 00:10:58,708 [ Sniffing, snarling ] 276 00:10:58,791 --> 00:11:00,833 [ Yelping ] 277 00:11:02,375 --> 00:11:04,333 [ Both grunting ] 278 00:11:05,416 --> 00:11:09,166 Okay. What do all people love to do with their hands? 279 00:11:09,250 --> 00:11:11,750 Masturbate! Damn, you took my answer. 280 00:11:11,833 --> 00:11:13,416 [ Chuckles ] 281 00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:14,583 I-I was gonna say clap. 282 00:11:14,666 --> 00:11:18,958 This... is "Clap Like This." 283 00:11:19,041 --> 00:11:20,625 [ Both laughing ] 284 00:11:20,708 --> 00:11:23,208 It's so addictive! I can't not clap! 285 00:11:23,291 --> 00:11:24,333 It's got everything -- 286 00:11:24,416 --> 00:11:26,333 GPS, remote screen sharing, 287 00:11:26,416 --> 00:11:27,416 uh, clapping. 288 00:11:27,500 --> 00:11:28,625 Ooh, yeah. I'm gonna getcha. 289 00:11:28,708 --> 00:11:29,750 I'm gonna getcha! 290 00:11:29,833 --> 00:11:31,208 Ha! 291 00:11:32,333 --> 00:11:33,541 [ Bell tolls ] 292 00:11:33,625 --> 00:11:34,750 Yes! [ Laughs ] 293 00:11:34,833 --> 00:11:36,750 You suck! Yeah, maybe. 294 00:11:36,833 --> 00:11:39,083 But you know what doesn't suck? 295 00:11:39,166 --> 00:11:40,416 This game! This game! 296 00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:42,750 So, this means you're buying my game? 297 00:11:42,833 --> 00:11:44,541 Yes, we're buying your game. 298 00:11:44,625 --> 00:11:46,541 Six figures! Buying it! 299 00:11:46,625 --> 00:11:48,750 Seven. A thousand dollars?! 300 00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:51,125 [ Scoffs ] No. A million dollars. 301 00:11:51,208 --> 00:11:54,625 We only count the numbers on the left side of the decimal. 302 00:11:54,708 --> 00:11:56,125 [ Laughs ] 303 00:11:56,208 --> 00:11:58,791 [ All cheering ] 304 00:11:58,875 --> 00:12:00,250 Shaky! Shaky! Shaky! 305 00:12:00,333 --> 00:12:04,458 Yeah! Finally, some white guys are making it! 306 00:12:04,541 --> 00:12:06,166 Yeah! 307 00:12:06,250 --> 00:12:12,625 ♪♪ 308 00:12:12,708 --> 00:12:21,666 ♪♪ 309 00:12:21,750 --> 00:12:24,958 Hey! Hey! Where's my rich family? 310 00:12:25,041 --> 00:12:26,458 Daddy! 311 00:12:26,541 --> 00:12:28,458 Congratulations, honey! 312 00:12:28,541 --> 00:12:31,000 Thank you. I got sushi shaped like steak. 313 00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:33,000 And I got steak shaped like sushi. 314 00:12:33,083 --> 00:12:35,625 Let's throw them both away. We can do that now! 315 00:12:35,708 --> 00:12:37,166 I bought some other stuff, too. 316 00:12:37,250 --> 00:12:39,625 A new bike! Cool! 317 00:12:39,708 --> 00:12:41,250 And I got myself something, too. 318 00:12:41,333 --> 00:12:42,666 [ Heavy guitar strums ] 319 00:12:42,750 --> 00:12:45,625 Oh! I just realized we can finally get our own house 320 00:12:45,708 --> 00:12:47,041 all to ourselves. 321 00:12:47,125 --> 00:12:49,000 [ Cellphone ringing ] 322 00:12:49,083 --> 00:12:52,000 Rich guy answering the phone! 323 00:12:52,083 --> 00:12:53,833 Dev! Mel! Whaddup?! 324 00:12:53,916 --> 00:12:55,166 Bad news, bud. 325 00:12:55,250 --> 00:12:57,583 We're not gonna be buying your game. What?! 326 00:12:57,666 --> 00:12:59,333 Uh...hey, I'm gonna go take this call 327 00:12:59,416 --> 00:13:00,541 in the bathroom for no reason. 328 00:13:00,625 --> 00:13:02,125 [ Footsteps running, door slams ] 329 00:13:02,208 --> 00:13:03,666 What do you mean you can't buy the game? 330 00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:06,500 We told our boss, Richard, and he flipped out. 331 00:13:06,583 --> 00:13:08,416 He told us we're just glorified assistants 332 00:13:08,500 --> 00:13:09,791 who can't buy anything. 333 00:13:09,875 --> 00:13:11,833 But you're not? You can buy my game, right? 334 00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:13,291 No, we're just glorified assistants 335 00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:14,708 who can't buy anything. 336 00:13:14,791 --> 00:13:16,625 [ Both laughing ] Don't! 337 00:13:16,708 --> 00:13:18,250 Don't! 338 00:13:18,333 --> 00:13:21,041 So much for rich family. 339 00:13:21,125 --> 00:13:22,541 Uh, guys? 340 00:13:22,625 --> 00:13:24,083 Everything okay? 341 00:13:24,166 --> 00:13:26,208 No, it's not. 342 00:13:26,291 --> 00:13:28,833 Uh...because... 343 00:13:28,916 --> 00:13:32,375 Candice isn't riding on the pony I got her! 344 00:13:32,458 --> 00:13:33,875 [ Horse whinnies ] 345 00:13:33,958 --> 00:13:36,750 Whoa!! Yeah! [ Horse whinnies ] 346 00:13:36,833 --> 00:13:38,875 Aah! Uh-oh. 347 00:13:38,958 --> 00:13:51,000 ♪♪ 348 00:13:51,083 --> 00:13:53,208 [ Glasses clink ] Happy birthday. 349 00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:56,500 Thank you. I'm so glad you can afford this now. 350 00:13:56,583 --> 00:13:59,125 Shopping, barrel-aged cocktails, and, oh! 351 00:13:59,208 --> 00:14:01,250 You have to check out the bathroom. 352 00:14:01,333 --> 00:14:03,500 They 3-D print your toilet. 353 00:14:03,583 --> 00:14:05,625 Single use. 354 00:14:05,708 --> 00:14:07,250 [ Glass shatters ] I'm gonna go throw up. 355 00:14:07,333 --> 00:14:09,208 [ Cellphone rings ] Hey, Mom. 356 00:14:09,291 --> 00:14:12,416 I can't believe my baby's 26. 357 00:14:12,500 --> 00:14:13,875 Okay. Make it quick, 358 00:14:13,958 --> 00:14:15,750 I've got a champagne vaginal steam at the spa in 20. 359 00:14:15,833 --> 00:14:20,333 Well, your vagina might have to stay dry because...ta-da! 360 00:14:20,416 --> 00:14:22,291 You're cut off! 361 00:14:22,375 --> 00:14:23,666 I'm cut off? 362 00:14:23,750 --> 00:14:25,791 We were all cut off when we turned 26, Bridge. 363 00:14:25,875 --> 00:14:27,416 That's what pushed us to do well. 364 00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:33,041 How will I buy stuff and the drink stuff and party...stuff? 365 00:14:33,125 --> 00:14:35,000 Your grandma had a saying. 366 00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:38,375 "Once the little bird is ready to fly, 367 00:14:38,458 --> 00:14:40,583 it must get a job!" 368 00:14:40,666 --> 00:14:42,833 Anyway, happy birthday, sweet pea! 369 00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:45,458 So, long story short, Emily thinks we're millionaires, 370 00:14:45,541 --> 00:14:46,750 and I need my job back 371 00:14:46,833 --> 00:14:48,291 and as many shifts as you can give me. 372 00:14:48,375 --> 00:14:50,416 I don't care. Sure. Okay. 373 00:14:50,500 --> 00:14:52,916 Also, I've got a lot of credit-card debt now, 374 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,000 so if you've got any extra installations I could do -- 375 00:14:55,083 --> 00:14:57,333 Thanks, Ezra. I won't let you down. 376 00:14:57,416 --> 00:14:58,958 It doesn't matter to me. 377 00:14:59,041 --> 00:15:00,208 ♪♪ 378 00:15:00,291 --> 00:15:03,125 And we're only interested in that 23 life. 379 00:15:03,208 --> 00:15:05,583 We like to say, "If you're 23, you're fine with me. 380 00:15:05,666 --> 00:15:07,541 If you're 24, just kill yourself." 381 00:15:07,625 --> 00:15:09,875 I am so 23. 382 00:15:09,958 --> 00:15:11,291 Hmm. I can feel that. 383 00:15:11,375 --> 00:15:15,416 And that's why I want you to be the face of Forever 23. 384 00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:17,208 [ Gasps ] 385 00:15:17,291 --> 00:15:19,625 Wait, I'm just folding shirts? 386 00:15:19,708 --> 00:15:22,291 What happened to being the "Face of 23"? 387 00:15:22,375 --> 00:15:23,666 You are the face. 388 00:15:23,750 --> 00:15:25,166 You're just the face in the back... 389 00:15:25,250 --> 00:15:27,125 with the blinds closed... in darkness. 390 00:15:27,208 --> 00:15:31,041 Just peel and fold the blouses off that wad of irregulars. 391 00:15:31,125 --> 00:15:33,458 You can clock out at midnight. Bye! 392 00:15:33,541 --> 00:15:34,791 Ugh. 393 00:15:34,875 --> 00:15:36,166 ♪♪ 394 00:15:36,250 --> 00:15:38,583 [ Straining ] 395 00:15:38,666 --> 00:15:40,000 [ Groans ] 396 00:15:40,083 --> 00:15:42,666 Curve the TV! I want it to look like IMAX. 397 00:15:42,750 --> 00:15:44,541 But you ordered a flat screen. 398 00:15:44,625 --> 00:15:45,791 Dad! 399 00:15:45,875 --> 00:15:48,500 Hey! Plugboy! Do what my kid wants. 400 00:15:48,583 --> 00:15:50,583 Yes, Mr. Hasselhoff. 401 00:15:50,666 --> 00:15:52,791 That's "Bay Watch" money. 402 00:15:52,875 --> 00:15:55,041 Cool. 403 00:15:55,125 --> 00:15:58,125 [ Cellphone ringing ] Ramirez! 404 00:15:58,208 --> 00:16:00,833 Josh, we just bought a V.I.P. pass to the aquarium, 405 00:16:00,916 --> 00:16:02,666 and it's amazing! 406 00:16:02,750 --> 00:16:04,416 -Hi, Candice! -Hi! 407 00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:05,875 Oh, I thought we should celebrate, 408 00:16:05,958 --> 00:16:08,500 so I got us reservations tomorrow at Napquinne. 409 00:16:08,583 --> 00:16:09,791 Wasn't that just named 410 00:16:09,875 --> 00:16:11,750 the most expensive restaurant in L.A.? 411 00:16:11,833 --> 00:16:16,375 Emily: Yeah! They make the meal right in your mouth. Bye! 412 00:16:16,458 --> 00:16:18,541 [ Groans ] 413 00:16:18,625 --> 00:16:20,583 How was your first day at work, sunshine? 414 00:16:20,666 --> 00:16:21,916 Terrible! 415 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,083 It was eight hours of folding! 416 00:16:24,166 --> 00:16:26,541 Who works for eight hours? 417 00:16:26,625 --> 00:16:29,000 Um, only everyone. 418 00:16:29,083 --> 00:16:31,541 But, hey, now you can see how awesome it is 419 00:16:31,625 --> 00:16:33,125 to be on a budget. 420 00:16:33,208 --> 00:16:35,125 [ Groans ] Whatever, dude. 421 00:16:35,208 --> 00:16:37,958 Emily and Josh are gonna go buy a castle and move out 422 00:16:38,041 --> 00:16:40,875 and we're gonna be stuck here with shitty jobs 423 00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:43,333 and a bucket of hummus. 424 00:16:43,416 --> 00:16:44,958 Ezra, I need more shifts. 425 00:16:45,041 --> 00:16:47,583 Josh, you finish all jobs so fast. 426 00:16:47,666 --> 00:16:49,666 You set Plugger-Inner record. 427 00:16:49,750 --> 00:16:52,000 You do such a good job, I do you favor. 428 00:16:52,083 --> 00:16:54,416 You take few days off. No work for you. 429 00:16:54,500 --> 00:16:55,833 Paid, right? 430 00:16:55,916 --> 00:16:58,791 [ Chuckles ] I did not know you were stand-up comedian, too. 431 00:16:58,875 --> 00:17:01,000 Good luck with Netflix special, huh? 432 00:17:01,083 --> 00:17:03,041 [ Groans ] 433 00:17:03,125 --> 00:17:04,625 Psst! Aah! Dante? 434 00:17:04,708 --> 00:17:06,666 What're you -- If you want to make some extra cash, 435 00:17:06,750 --> 00:17:09,041 I've got some off-the-books installations, 436 00:17:09,125 --> 00:17:10,291 if you know what I mean. 437 00:17:10,375 --> 00:17:12,708 What's the pay? Mid-to-low two figures. 438 00:17:12,791 --> 00:17:14,375 I'll do it. 439 00:17:14,458 --> 00:17:26,250 ♪♪ 440 00:17:26,333 --> 00:17:38,041 ♪♪ 441 00:17:38,125 --> 00:17:39,958 [ Techno playing ] 442 00:17:40,041 --> 00:17:41,083 Ah, cool. 443 00:17:41,166 --> 00:17:42,500 Maybe someone's robbing the store, 444 00:17:42,583 --> 00:17:45,583 and they can just murder me. 445 00:17:45,666 --> 00:17:47,958 What the hell? 446 00:17:48,041 --> 00:17:50,666 Is this an underground retail rave? 447 00:17:50,750 --> 00:17:52,583 Hey! What's going -- 448 00:17:52,666 --> 00:17:54,166 Ohh! Huh? 449 00:17:54,250 --> 00:17:56,875 Aah! 450 00:17:56,958 --> 00:17:58,625 Oh, hey! You made it! 451 00:17:58,708 --> 00:18:01,041 I'm Quinn, and this is my squad. 452 00:18:01,125 --> 00:18:02,666 You're alive? 453 00:18:02,750 --> 00:18:05,333 Better. We're forever 23. 454 00:18:05,416 --> 00:18:08,125 Every night we come to life and party! [ All cheer ] 455 00:18:08,208 --> 00:18:09,500 But you're man-- 456 00:18:09,583 --> 00:18:11,833 Before you ask, yes, we have sex, 457 00:18:11,916 --> 00:18:14,166 yes, it's basically licking smooth plastic, 458 00:18:14,250 --> 00:18:17,458 and, yes, it's amazing! Whoo! 459 00:18:18,875 --> 00:18:20,583 [ All cheering ] 460 00:18:20,666 --> 00:18:22,833 You'd think partying night after night forever would get old. 461 00:18:22,916 --> 00:18:24,208 But when you're a mannequin, 462 00:18:24,291 --> 00:18:26,333 it just gets richer and more meaningful. 463 00:18:26,416 --> 00:18:27,708 I used to have that. 464 00:18:27,791 --> 00:18:29,583 Life doesn't have to suck, Bridgette. 465 00:18:29,666 --> 00:18:31,500 You could become one of us. 466 00:18:31,583 --> 00:18:33,250 That sounds really awesome. 467 00:18:33,333 --> 00:18:34,958 Oh, but... is it painful? 468 00:18:35,041 --> 00:18:38,000 It's a very simple laser procedure. 469 00:18:38,083 --> 00:18:39,583 ♪♪ 470 00:18:39,666 --> 00:18:41,541 [ Whirring up ] 471 00:18:41,625 --> 00:18:43,875 ♪♪ 472 00:18:43,958 --> 00:18:45,666 [ Static hissing ] What the hell, guys? 473 00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:47,125 That TV's busted again? 474 00:18:47,208 --> 00:18:49,666 Don't worry about it. I'll call my guy Dante. 475 00:18:49,750 --> 00:18:52,458 [ Exhales deeply ] Sorry I'm late. 476 00:18:52,541 --> 00:18:54,666 Listen, Em, there's something I want to -- 477 00:18:54,750 --> 00:18:56,083 [ Gasps ] Josh! 478 00:18:56,166 --> 00:18:57,500 He ordered a Napquinne! 479 00:18:57,583 --> 00:18:59,000 Ahhh. 480 00:18:59,083 --> 00:19:02,333 Ah. 481 00:19:02,416 --> 00:19:04,541 Ohh! 482 00:19:04,625 --> 00:19:06,791 [ Gargling ] I hear the napkin is to hide your face 483 00:19:06,875 --> 00:19:08,375 so God can't judge you. 484 00:19:08,458 --> 00:19:10,333 Uhhh. [ Cellphone buzzing ] 485 00:19:12,125 --> 00:19:14,500 I have to go to the restroom. 486 00:19:14,583 --> 00:19:17,125 Josh, wait! You can do that here! 487 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:22,041 H-Hey, I changed my mind. 488 00:19:22,125 --> 00:19:23,416 I'm not gonna go through with it. 489 00:19:23,500 --> 00:19:25,541 Mm... I don't think so. 490 00:19:25,625 --> 00:19:27,125 We kind of need you around. 491 00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:28,416 Why? 492 00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:32,500 ♪♪ 493 00:19:32,583 --> 00:19:34,500 Spare parts. 494 00:19:34,583 --> 00:19:35,791 I call the feet! 495 00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:37,458 What? You know I'm insecure about my feet. 496 00:19:37,541 --> 00:19:39,250 Hey! Plugger-Inners! 497 00:19:39,333 --> 00:19:40,583 I got your TVs! 498 00:19:40,666 --> 00:19:42,666 Uh...ohh. 499 00:19:42,750 --> 00:19:44,791 Josh! Get out of here! 500 00:19:44,875 --> 00:19:46,000 ♪♪ 501 00:19:46,083 --> 00:19:47,416 We're still waiting for my husband 502 00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:49,083 to get back from the bathroom. 503 00:19:49,166 --> 00:19:50,583 Daddy's not in the bathroom. 504 00:19:50,666 --> 00:19:52,458 It says he's across the street. 505 00:19:52,541 --> 00:19:53,916 Across the street? 506 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,583 Start it up, Janet! 507 00:19:55,666 --> 00:19:59,083 [ Beeping, cranking ] 508 00:19:59,166 --> 00:20:01,250 Nice try, Janet. 509 00:20:01,333 --> 00:20:04,250 ♪♪ 510 00:20:04,333 --> 00:20:05,833 [ Whirring up ] 511 00:20:05,916 --> 00:20:07,458 Shit. 512 00:20:07,541 --> 00:20:10,625 Emily! Josh! What the hell? 513 00:20:10,708 --> 00:20:13,041 Excellent! The more the merrier! 514 00:20:13,125 --> 00:20:15,291 [ All chanting "spare parts" ] 515 00:20:15,375 --> 00:20:17,250 What were you doing here in the first place? 516 00:20:17,333 --> 00:20:19,416 I -- I picked up a second job. 517 00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:21,708 I don't get it. Why do you need a side job 518 00:20:21,791 --> 00:20:23,000 when you just sold "Clap Like This" 519 00:20:23,083 --> 00:20:24,375 for a bazillion dollars? 520 00:20:24,458 --> 00:20:26,333 The deal fell through, and I didn't sell the game. 521 00:20:26,416 --> 00:20:27,916 I've been doing extra installations 522 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:29,583 so that you and Candice wouldn't find out. 523 00:20:29,666 --> 00:20:33,125 Josh, I don't care if you're a big success. 524 00:20:33,208 --> 00:20:37,208 You're still a success to us. 525 00:20:37,291 --> 00:20:40,333 [ Laughs ] Dad, this game is so fun. 526 00:20:40,416 --> 00:20:42,875 I'm so excited to have those feet! 527 00:20:42,958 --> 00:20:44,958 Oops. That always happens. 528 00:20:45,041 --> 00:20:46,541 Always happens... 529 00:20:46,625 --> 00:20:47,875 [ Whirring ] Candice! 530 00:20:47,958 --> 00:20:51,000 Turn on "Clap Like This"! Screen share! 531 00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:52,875 ♪♪ 532 00:20:52,958 --> 00:20:54,000 Man: Ready? 533 00:20:54,083 --> 00:20:55,333 What's that? 534 00:20:55,416 --> 00:20:57,041 And...clap! 535 00:20:57,125 --> 00:20:59,083 ♪♪ 536 00:20:59,166 --> 00:21:01,000 Oh, this is so addictive! 537 00:21:01,083 --> 00:21:03,041 Hey, I'm pretty good at this! Aah! 538 00:21:03,125 --> 00:21:06,541 Stop it! Don't you see what they're doing?! 539 00:21:06,625 --> 00:21:10,500 Even...I...can't... help...it! 540 00:21:10,583 --> 00:21:13,291 ♪♪ 541 00:21:13,375 --> 00:21:14,875 Aah! Stupid game! 542 00:21:14,958 --> 00:21:17,666 The arm! Bridgette, over here! 543 00:21:17,750 --> 00:21:20,791 ♪♪ 544 00:21:20,875 --> 00:21:22,625 Pretty lights! 545 00:21:22,708 --> 00:21:24,291 Aww. 546 00:21:24,375 --> 00:21:26,291 [ Laughs ] Yeah! 547 00:21:26,375 --> 00:21:29,416 Wait! You can't leave us like this! 548 00:21:29,500 --> 00:21:32,000 Party's over. Good luck with your hangover. 549 00:21:32,083 --> 00:21:34,125 Bitch. 550 00:21:34,208 --> 00:21:37,041 Very...uncool! 551 00:21:37,125 --> 00:21:38,416 [ Computer rings ] 552 00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:41,166 Mom! Look -- my first paycheck. 553 00:21:41,250 --> 00:21:44,375 Ah, Bridgette, I am so proud of -- 554 00:21:44,458 --> 00:21:47,041 Oh, my God. That's all you make? 555 00:21:47,125 --> 00:21:49,041 Look out the window. 556 00:21:51,875 --> 00:21:55,541 No, Mom, I'm good now. 557 00:21:55,625 --> 00:21:57,083 [ Laughs ] 558 00:21:57,166 --> 00:22:00,041 Ooh, Bridgette's on a budget! 559 00:22:00,125 --> 00:22:01,666 I'll take half. 560 00:22:01,750 --> 00:22:11,500 ♪♪ 561 00:22:11,583 --> 00:22:21,333 ♪♪ 562 00:22:21,416 --> 00:22:31,125 ♪♪ 563 00:22:31,208 --> 00:22:40,916 ♪♪ 564 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:50,750 ♪♪ 565 00:22:50,833 --> 00:22:53,875 [ Both grunting ]