1
00:00:01,668 --> 00:00:05,004
♪♪
2
00:00:05,088 --> 00:00:09,134
Who's ready to see Caltech,
the most exclusive of the techs?
3
00:00:09,217 --> 00:00:11,928
All: Gooo Beavers!
4
00:00:12,011 --> 00:00:13,513
[ Squeaking ]
5
00:00:13,596 --> 00:00:16,349
Thanks again for asking
your sister to show us her lab.
6
00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:18,435
I know you two aren't close.
It's fine!
7
00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:20,103
I mean, yes,
my sister's a prodigy
8
00:00:20,186 --> 00:00:22,731
who's upstaged me since birth,
but whatever.
9
00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:25,817
♪♪
10
00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:29,279
Olivia got first place
at the science fair.
11
00:00:29,362 --> 00:00:30,864
[ Scoffs ]
12
00:00:30,947 --> 00:00:32,115
Very good, Bridgette.
13
00:00:32,198 --> 00:00:34,617
But look what Olivia painted.
14
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:36,119
[ Groans ]
15
00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:38,288
[ Panting ]
[ Machine beeping ]
16
00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:40,081
[ Grunts ]
17
00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:41,958
[ Baby crying ]
18
00:00:42,041 --> 00:00:44,794
How come you didn't
come out that fast?
19
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,921
[ Sighs ]
20
00:00:47,005 --> 00:00:49,090
Duh, the birth canal's way
bigger the second time.
21
00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:50,800
Obviously.
22
00:00:53,052 --> 00:00:54,053
Hey, sis.
23
00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:55,764
Can't believe you
actually made it.
24
00:00:55,847 --> 00:00:56,931
Hello, everyone!
25
00:00:57,015 --> 00:00:58,224
Hi, Mrs. Hashima!
26
00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:00,226
And thanks so much
for having us, Olivia.
27
00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:02,687
She's Doctor Olivia now.
28
00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:04,397
Ugh.
She's not a real doctor.
29
00:01:04,481 --> 00:01:05,857
She just stayed in school
too long.
30
00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:10,403
Would a fake doctor
have her own building?
31
00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:12,238
Awesome!
Wow!
Cool!
Awesome!
Wow!
Cool!
32
00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:13,990
Seriously?!
33
00:01:14,073 --> 00:01:16,701
Don't worry Bridgette,
mom bought you a building, too.
34
00:01:18,244 --> 00:01:19,954
[ Toilet flushes ]
35
00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:22,791
Thanks.
36
00:01:22,874 --> 00:01:29,464
♪♪
37
00:01:29,547 --> 00:01:36,054
♪♪
38
00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:38,014
So, this is where
the magic happens.
39
00:01:38,097 --> 00:01:39,182
Whoa.
40
00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:42,185
And by magic,
I mean advanced chemistry.
41
00:01:42,268 --> 00:01:44,354
Ooh, complimentary mints!
42
00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:45,480
Uhp! Careful.
43
00:01:45,563 --> 00:01:47,816
This "mint" is my
"Intelli-pill,"
44
00:01:47,899 --> 00:01:49,150
an experimental supplement
45
00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:51,486
I'm developing
for cognitive enhancement.
46
00:01:51,569 --> 00:01:53,363
That means
it makes you smarter.
47
00:01:53,446 --> 00:01:54,823
Ugh, we get it.
48
00:01:54,906 --> 00:01:56,366
You're a nerd.
49
00:01:56,449 --> 00:01:58,535
Olivia's even
getting interviewed
50
00:01:58,618 --> 00:02:00,620
about her pill on TV.
51
00:02:00,703 --> 00:02:02,455
Just some chats
with Robin Roberts.
52
00:02:03,915 --> 00:02:05,291
Dr. Sanjay Gupta.
53
00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:08,044
Sam Snood.
54
00:02:08,127 --> 00:02:10,672
Sam Snood the science dude?
55
00:02:10,755 --> 00:02:12,507
I could get you
into the taping.
56
00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:14,551
Uh, yes, puhlease!
57
00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:17,554
Uh, I mean, Candice
is a huge Snood-head.
58
00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:19,097
Big whoop. A kids' show?
59
00:02:19,180 --> 00:02:21,057
What have you been up to,
Bridgette?
60
00:02:21,140 --> 00:02:25,645
Uh, well, I've had some big
developments over at Instagram.
61
00:02:25,728 --> 00:02:27,146
Lotta likes.
Wow.
62
00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:28,773
That's impressive
for someone your age.
63
00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:32,277
26 is like 70
in influencer years.
64
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:33,653
She's actually
very popular.
65
00:02:33,736 --> 00:02:35,321
She has a few thousand
followers.
66
00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:37,073
8,305,
67
00:02:37,156 --> 00:02:40,451
but it might've gone up
since I started this sentence.
68
00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:42,370
[ Coughs ] Bots.
Hmm.
69
00:02:42,453 --> 00:02:44,330
How many followers
do you have?
70
00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:45,582
Does it really matter?
71
00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:47,375
Isn't it great that both
of your daughters
72
00:02:47,458 --> 00:02:48,751
have their own
things going on?
73
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:50,628
A little competition
never hurts.
74
00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:52,171
Pressure makes diamonds!
75
00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:55,675
That's how I pushed Olivia
to become scientist of the year.
76
00:02:55,758 --> 00:02:58,261
Oh, that was for some conference
I went to in Ljubljana.
77
00:02:58,344 --> 00:03:00,930
Bet you don't even know
where that is?
78
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:03,516
Why would I if
I can just look it up?
79
00:03:04,475 --> 00:03:05,435
How do you spell it?
80
00:03:05,518 --> 00:03:07,478
[ Both laugh ]
81
00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:09,564
Yeah.
[ Groans ]
Yeah.
[ Groans ]
82
00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:16,988
Did you hear the one about the
store being run by a neutron?
83
00:03:17,071 --> 00:03:18,156
No charge.
84
00:03:18,239 --> 00:03:19,532
[ Laughter ]
85
00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:21,451
Josh: What a dumb store.
86
00:03:24,203 --> 00:03:26,831
♪♪
87
00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:28,958
I'll show them smart.
88
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,168
[ Gulps ]
89
00:03:30,251 --> 00:03:35,089
♪♪
90
00:03:35,173 --> 00:03:37,175
Huh?
I guess it doesn't work.
91
00:03:37,258 --> 00:03:39,636
Aagh!
92
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:41,804
Mind on fire.
93
00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:42,931
Hypotenuse!
94
00:03:43,014 --> 00:03:44,390
Parthenogenesis!
95
00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:46,559
"Star Trek" continuity!
96
00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:49,604
[ Whistling ]
97
00:03:49,687 --> 00:03:52,148
You know, maybe you shouldn't be
so hard on Bridgette.
98
00:03:52,231 --> 00:03:53,650
She's really
trying her best.
99
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:55,735
Oh, you millennial parents.
100
00:03:55,818 --> 00:03:58,446
You'd prefer I celebrate
mediocrity?
101
00:03:58,529 --> 00:04:00,531
What?
We don't do that.
102
00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:03,076
Look, dad,
I'm a scientician!
103
00:04:03,159 --> 00:04:04,702
Aw, what a little genius.
104
00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:06,746
You're a regular
Alfred Einstein!
105
00:04:06,829 --> 00:04:07,872
[ Grunts ]
106
00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:10,375
[ Chuckles ]
107
00:04:10,458 --> 00:04:12,251
[ Panting ]
108
00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:14,587
Ljubljana is in Slovenia!
109
00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:16,589
Now that's more like it.
110
00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:18,383
Okay, so she learned to Google,
big deal.
111
00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:19,634
Bridge, are you alright?
112
00:04:19,717 --> 00:04:21,219
I think I need to go home.
113
00:04:21,302 --> 00:04:24,973
Ohhhkay, thank you both,
but we should go.
114
00:04:25,056 --> 00:04:27,433
Science is hard to breathe.
115
00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:29,811
One day you'll be
running this place.
116
00:04:29,894 --> 00:04:33,314
[ Groaning ]
117
00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:35,066
No!
118
00:04:35,149 --> 00:04:36,526
My bangs are too short!
119
00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:39,237
Alex: Anyone know how many grams
are in an ounce?
120
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:43,700
Asking for a friend who's
weighing something super legal.
121
00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:45,284
28.35!
122
00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:47,495
How did I know that?
123
00:04:47,578 --> 00:04:49,163
The Intelli-pill!
124
00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:50,164
I...
125
00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:51,833
I'm smart.
126
00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:54,210
♪♪
127
00:04:54,293 --> 00:04:57,338
[ Sighs ] Guess I'm doing
burrito popsicle for lunch.
128
00:04:57,422 --> 00:05:03,886
♪♪
129
00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:05,346
[ Blows ]
130
00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:07,515
[ Screams ]
131
00:05:07,598 --> 00:05:08,850
Yuhmuh!
132
00:05:08,933 --> 00:05:10,226
[ Grumbling ]
133
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,687
♪♪
134
00:05:12,770 --> 00:05:13,896
[ Gasps ]
135
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:16,065
[ Keypad clacking ]
136
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:18,192
[ Groans ]
This novel is shit!
137
00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:20,361
♪♪
138
00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:22,238
Make Rothgar
a secret Visigoth.
139
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,949
Oh, my God.
That solves the whole thing!
140
00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:27,243
Ooh!
These stupid boxes!
141
00:05:27,326 --> 00:05:30,788
♪♪
142
00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:32,248
There you go!
143
00:05:32,331 --> 00:05:35,960
Now back to opening emails
from people I don't know.
144
00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:40,923
♪♪
145
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:48,598
♪♪
146
00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:51,768
[ Sighs ] Who knew being so
smart could be useful.
147
00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:54,437
[ Cellphone ringing ]
148
00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:58,107
♪♪
149
00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,442
Hi Bridgette, so...
150
00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:01,402
Olivia's TV interview
is tomorrow.
151
00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:03,613
Will you be there?
I'd love if you came,
152
00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:05,823
unless you're too busy
learning how to read.
153
00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:11,454
♪♪
154
00:06:11,537 --> 00:06:12,622
Hello?
155
00:06:12,705 --> 00:06:14,373
Earth to Bridgette.
156
00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:16,125
I'll show you a pill.
157
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:21,964
♪♪
158
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:25,259
One thousand milligrams
of bio-optimized,
159
00:06:25,343 --> 00:06:28,971
quick-release nootropic
cognitive enhancement.
160
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:30,765
Science, bitch!
161
00:06:30,848 --> 00:06:32,892
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
162
00:06:32,975 --> 00:06:35,728
So you're telling me
that if I take your pill,
163
00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:38,231
I'll be Sam Snood the...
164
00:06:38,314 --> 00:06:40,441
Genius Dude?
165
00:06:40,525 --> 00:06:43,236
[ Laughter ]
166
00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:45,613
That's right, Sam.
Here it is...
167
00:06:45,696 --> 00:06:46,989
The Intelli-pill!
168
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:49,951
[ Audience "Oohs" ]
169
00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:52,161
[ Clapping ]
170
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:54,580
Wow, cool pill...
171
00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:56,082
if you like bullshit!
172
00:06:56,165 --> 00:06:57,500
Hit it, Alex!
173
00:06:57,583 --> 00:07:01,671
♪♪
174
00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:04,715
Behold! Mind-agra!
175
00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:06,592
[ Audience gasps ]
176
00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:08,845
No. But how...
177
00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:11,973
Bitch took my pill!
178
00:07:12,056 --> 00:07:14,433
Mom! She stole my pill
and reverse engineered it!
179
00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:15,935
Do something!
Like what?
180
00:07:16,018 --> 00:07:18,396
It's about time
Bridgette did something useful.
181
00:07:18,479 --> 00:07:23,693
♪♪
182
00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:24,861
♪♪
183
00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:26,195
Hey!
184
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:27,488
[ Gulps ]
185
00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:30,366
[ Electricity crackling ]
186
00:07:30,449 --> 00:07:33,202
[ Groans ]
187
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:36,414
I...understand!
188
00:07:36,497 --> 00:07:39,375
I did it!
I proved the Riemann hypothesis,
189
00:07:39,458 --> 00:07:42,545
the most important unsolved
problem in pure mathematics!
190
00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:44,046
[ Cheers and applause ]
191
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:46,090
Eat shit, Riemann!
192
00:07:46,174 --> 00:07:47,258
[ Cheers and applause ]
193
00:07:47,341 --> 00:07:50,386
Olivia! Olivia! Olivia!
194
00:07:50,469 --> 00:07:53,514
It's on!
195
00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:55,725
[ Screams ]
196
00:07:55,808 --> 00:08:00,062
♪♪
197
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:01,772
[ Munching ]
198
00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:03,691
[ Both groan ]
199
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,111
[ Panting ]
200
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:09,113
I can see the Internet!
201
00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:11,407
I can manipulate gravity!
202
00:08:11,490 --> 00:08:13,951
♪♪
203
00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:17,455
[ Audience gasps ]
204
00:08:17,538 --> 00:08:19,874
Don't worry,
I'll keep this short.
205
00:08:19,957 --> 00:08:21,751
Like your bangs?
206
00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:23,753
I'll kill you!
207
00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:28,132
[ Laughs ]
Science is awesome!
208
00:08:31,761 --> 00:08:33,971
You were nothing
before my pill!
209
00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:37,934
At least my selfies don't get
a median average of 14 likes!
210
00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:40,228
[ Whirring ]
211
00:08:40,311 --> 00:08:42,313
Maybe try better lighting!
212
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:47,443
At least I'm not a failure
who needs to go back to school!
213
00:08:47,526 --> 00:08:48,444
[ Groans ]
214
00:08:48,527 --> 00:08:49,820
[ Grunts ]
215
00:08:49,904 --> 00:08:53,449
♪♪
216
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:56,035
Whoo!
217
00:08:56,118 --> 00:08:57,828
[ Both grunting ]
218
00:08:57,912 --> 00:09:01,791
In theory, this should be hot,
but I am not enjoying myself.
219
00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:04,293
Stop fighting!
You love each other!
220
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,337
Do something!
They'll listen to you.
221
00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:07,630
You're right.
222
00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:09,340
Keep going, girls!
223
00:09:09,423 --> 00:09:12,760
Winner gets a new house!
224
00:09:12,843 --> 00:09:18,808
At last, I don't have to live
in your shadow anymore!
225
00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:21,727
No, I'm no longer
living in your shadow!
226
00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:24,313
Pressure...makes...
227
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:25,481
diamonds!
228
00:09:25,564 --> 00:09:27,233
[ Laughs ]
229
00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:28,943
Huh?
230
00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:33,447
Why couldn't you have been
Prom Queen?
231
00:09:35,032 --> 00:09:39,453
Why can't you explore
abstract ideas like your sister?
232
00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:40,663
[ Machine beeping ]
233
00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:43,082
[ Crying ]
234
00:09:43,165 --> 00:09:46,168
Not until she's quiet
like her sister.
235
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:48,337
[ Crying continues ]
236
00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:51,882
I stole your pill because Mom
always made me
237
00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:54,969
feel dumb compared to you.
238
00:09:55,052 --> 00:09:57,179
I always tried to outdo you
because Mom told me
239
00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:59,849
I wasn't popular
and "cool" like you.
240
00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:01,309
I'm sorry.
241
00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:03,060
I'm sorry, too!
242
00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:06,856
What do you think you're doing?
243
00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:10,234
Living in each other's shadows
is what pushes you to greatness!
244
00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:13,029
You've pitted us
against each other for years.
245
00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:14,822
We had to go
full evil genius
246
00:10:14,905 --> 00:10:17,158
in order to realize that
we don't need to compete.
247
00:10:17,241 --> 00:10:19,327
Yeah, and your whole
"pressure makes diamonds"
248
00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:20,870
thing is creepy, sorry.
249
00:10:20,953 --> 00:10:22,079
And inaccurate.
250
00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:24,582
You also need carbon, heat,
time...
251
00:10:24,665 --> 00:10:26,625
well, it worked, didn't it?
252
00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:28,419
I made you into diamonds.
253
00:10:28,502 --> 00:10:31,297
Big, brainy,
accomplished diamonds.
254
00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:35,468
But it does warm my heart
to see you two getting along.
255
00:10:35,551 --> 00:10:36,927
Hmm.
256
00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:39,430
I'd take a picture but you
both still look like freaks.
257
00:10:39,513 --> 00:10:40,473
[ Electricity crackles ]
258
00:10:40,556 --> 00:10:42,725
Oh, God!
Oh, right.
259
00:10:42,808 --> 00:10:45,686
We need to make an antidote
soon or our heads will explode.
260
00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:48,022
Little kink I forgot
to work out.
261
00:10:48,105 --> 00:10:49,565
Let's go to my lab.
262
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,692
And while we're at it, we can
invent a chill pill for mom.
263
00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:52,693
[ Both laugh ]
264
00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:55,571
What?
I'm super chill.
265
00:10:55,654 --> 00:10:58,574
Now, that's how you
raise children.
266
00:10:58,657 --> 00:11:01,702
Call me if you need any tips
with that one.
267
00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:03,287
We're good.
268
00:11:09,293 --> 00:11:13,089
Okay, here we go.
Time to meet the public.
269
00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:14,423
Hey, guys?
270
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:17,885
Can I, um, read you
some of my new novel?
271
00:11:17,968 --> 00:11:19,762
Of course!
I love to give notes.
Of course!
I love to give notes.
272
00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:20,805
I'm not doing anything.
273
00:11:20,888 --> 00:11:23,099
Awesome. Okay.
274
00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:24,767
[ Clears throat ]
275
00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:25,810
Eons ago --
276
00:11:25,893 --> 00:11:27,770
What the [bleep]?!
This sucks!
277
00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:29,313
It makes me want
to kill myself.
278
00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:32,733
You made me hate reading
more than I already do!
279
00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:35,111
Wait, what?
Is it really that bad?
280
00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:36,404
Let's kick him
in the nuts!
281
00:11:36,487 --> 00:11:38,739
[ Grunting ]
282
00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:40,157
[ Groans ]
283
00:11:41,575 --> 00:11:44,286
All: Bad writer! Bad writer!
Bad writer!
284
00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:47,706
I deserve this.
285
00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:49,875
Go ahead.
We wanna hear it.
286
00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:52,461
Uh, I don't know.
287
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:55,256
You know what?
It's not ready yet!
288
00:11:56,674 --> 00:11:58,300
Oh!
289
00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:00,970
I got a papercut on my dong!
290
00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:07,852
♪♪
291
00:12:07,935 --> 00:12:15,192
♪♪
292
00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:16,652
Hey, Alex.
How's the writing going?
293
00:12:16,735 --> 00:12:18,195
[ Grunts ] Terrible.
294
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:20,656
I bet a lot of successful
authors have felt this way.
295
00:12:20,739 --> 00:12:22,324
You should ask one
for advice.
296
00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:23,659
Maybe email Dr. Seuss?
297
00:12:23,742 --> 00:12:26,162
Oh, buddy,
he's 100 percent dead.
298
00:12:26,245 --> 00:12:28,873
No!
Why didn't anybody tell me?
299
00:12:28,956 --> 00:12:30,875
Oh, I went to Skylight Books
to take a selfie
300
00:12:30,958 --> 00:12:33,043
in the poetry section,
and they're doing a signing
301
00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:35,337
by that guy who writes
that horny space stuff you love!
302
00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:38,966
Jack Kleghorn? Author of
Lust of the Star Wizards 1-4:
303
00:12:39,049 --> 00:12:40,676
The Unfinished Pentology?
304
00:12:40,759 --> 00:12:43,345
Yeah, that sounds
the right amount of gross.
305
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:45,014
He's my favorite writer!
306
00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:47,475
If he's your Seuss,
go talk to him.
307
00:12:47,558 --> 00:12:48,809
Before it's too late.
308
00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:53,647
♪♪
309
00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:55,858
[ Grunting ]
310
00:12:55,941 --> 00:13:00,196
I say! Looks like we've got
ourselves a bit of a Kleghead.
311
00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:03,616
Oh, you have no idea,
Mr. Kleghorn.
312
00:13:03,699 --> 00:13:06,619
Please, call me
"Sir Jack."
313
00:13:06,702 --> 00:13:09,705
Thank you so much, Mr. Kleg--
um, I'm sorry, Sir Jack.
314
00:13:09,788 --> 00:13:13,375
I'm actually a bit
of a writer, too.
315
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:14,418
Really?
316
00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:16,879
I mostly write erotic
sci-fi epics
317
00:13:16,962 --> 00:13:19,840
about cyborg Vikings
fighting evil space gods.
318
00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:21,050
Do you now?
319
00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:23,302
I actually just finished
a novel, but --
320
00:13:23,385 --> 00:13:25,554
Finished the novel,
you say?
321
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:28,307
Yeah, but I'm too scared
to let anyone read it.
322
00:13:28,390 --> 00:13:30,059
Did you ever
feel like this?
323
00:13:30,142 --> 00:13:34,396
You mean the existential fear
that someone may read your work
324
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:37,066
and discover you
to be a fraud?
325
00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:38,150
Yes!
326
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:39,193
No.
327
00:13:39,276 --> 00:13:40,611
Oh.
But!
328
00:13:40,694 --> 00:13:44,490
It sounds like all you need
is a dram of confidence.
329
00:13:44,573 --> 00:13:47,409
Why don't you send me
your novel,
330
00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:51,205
then stop by my chateau
to chat about it?
331
00:13:51,288 --> 00:13:53,749
[ Gasping ]
You want...
332
00:13:53,832 --> 00:13:55,584
to read...
333
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,253
[ Squealing ]
334
00:13:57,336 --> 00:14:06,262
♪♪
335
00:14:06,345 --> 00:14:07,513
Alex, my boy!
336
00:14:07,596 --> 00:14:10,349
Welcome to my humble
18th-Century mansion
337
00:14:10,432 --> 00:14:13,477
I had flown in piece
by piece from Windsor!
338
00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:15,771
I'm quite wealthy, you see.
339
00:14:15,854 --> 00:14:17,648
From writing.
340
00:14:17,731 --> 00:14:19,316
Can I get you anything?
341
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,860
Spot of tea?
Antique sword?
342
00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:23,028
Rembrandt?
343
00:14:23,112 --> 00:14:24,321
Wow!
Are those real?
344
00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:26,115
Oh, yes.
345
00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:28,659
I like to keep a couple
of mummies around
346
00:14:28,742 --> 00:14:30,369
to lift my spirits.
347
00:14:30,452 --> 00:14:33,622
Who's still alive now,
Amenhotep?!
348
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:36,625
[ Gasps ]
And what is this?
349
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:39,461
Oh, that ancient meteor?
350
00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:43,173
It's actually quite helpful
with my process.
351
00:14:43,257 --> 00:14:46,635
Now let's stop pissing about
and get into it.
352
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,804
I read your novel,
and I loved it
353
00:14:48,887 --> 00:14:51,181
like a badger
loves brambleberries.
354
00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:53,475
You...
Jack Kleghorn...
355
00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:54,768
Sir Jack.
356
00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:56,312
Sir Jack Kleghorn.
357
00:14:56,395 --> 00:14:57,980
Loved my novel.
[ Elephant farts ]
358
00:14:58,063 --> 00:15:01,191
When Psybjorn seduces
Lord Universo
359
00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:02,818
to discover his weakness?
360
00:15:02,901 --> 00:15:06,113
I practically --
what's the American phrase?
361
00:15:06,196 --> 00:15:07,698
"Busted a nut?"
362
00:15:07,781 --> 00:15:09,658
Ah!
This is...
363
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,243
Oh! I just...
364
00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:13,829
Don't get too excited,
old sport.
365
00:15:13,912 --> 00:15:17,458
You have work to do if you want
to be the next
366
00:15:17,541 --> 00:15:19,209
Sir Jack Kleghorn.
367
00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:23,464
[ Rambles ] Yes, yes!
I'll do whatever I have to do!
368
00:15:23,547 --> 00:15:25,591
Then get to writing!
369
00:15:25,674 --> 00:15:26,759
Wait, right now?
370
00:15:26,842 --> 00:15:28,135
Type, boy, type!
371
00:15:28,218 --> 00:15:31,472
Do you think James Patterson
has confidence issues?
372
00:15:31,555 --> 00:15:35,934
He's finished a book
since I started this sentence.
373
00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:42,107
♪♪
374
00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:44,068
♪ Please Mr. Kleghorn ♪
375
00:15:44,151 --> 00:15:46,403
♪ Read my book,
it's erotic fiction ♪
376
00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:47,946
♪ With a Viking hook ♪
377
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:51,033
♪ I would give my right arm
to write like you ♪
378
00:15:51,116 --> 00:15:56,080
♪ I crave success
as a serial fiction author ♪
379
00:15:56,163 --> 00:16:00,167
♪ Serial fiction author ♪
380
00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:04,004
[ Groaning ]
381
00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:06,632
Alex, it seems like Jack
is working you to the bone.
382
00:16:06,715 --> 00:16:09,510
Sir Jack is working me
to the bone?
383
00:16:09,593 --> 00:16:10,844
And I'm fine.
384
00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:13,555
My favorite author thinks
I've got potential.
385
00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:15,557
And I finally
feel confident.
386
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:17,476
Why does he make you
do a ton of exercise?
387
00:16:17,559 --> 00:16:20,145
Strong body strong mind,
no-doy.
388
00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:21,897
You wouldn't get it.
389
00:16:21,980 --> 00:16:23,649
We think you should at least
get some sleep.
390
00:16:23,732 --> 00:16:27,736
Jack says sleep is for wankers,
and wanking is for losers,
391
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:30,614
so I don't
do either anymore.
392
00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:32,116
Alex,
you're being insane.
393
00:16:32,199 --> 00:16:33,992
Ohhh, I see.
394
00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:35,911
You're all jealous.
395
00:16:35,994 --> 00:16:38,747
I'm going back to Sir Jack's,
and if you don't like it,
396
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,124
you can kiss my...
[ Belt buckle jingling ]
397
00:16:40,207 --> 00:16:44,503
...novel-writing ass!
398
00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:47,005
You close the door, Josh.
399
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:48,340
[ Knock on door ]
400
00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:50,300
Sir Jack?
401
00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:53,762
His name
is Alex Dorpenberger.
402
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:55,264
He's brilliant!
403
00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:57,933
A once-in-a-generation
talent!
404
00:16:58,016 --> 00:17:01,437
Yes, you've got to meet him
right away.
405
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,772
I'm sorry, I couldn't help
overhearing.
406
00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:06,191
Was that...?
My agent, dear boy!
407
00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:10,738
I was just calling to let him
know that I'm the next you.
408
00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:12,364
That's incred--
409
00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:15,909
Wait, don't you mean
I'm the next you?
410
00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:18,412
Absolutely not!
411
00:17:18,495 --> 00:17:19,580
[ Grunts ]
412
00:17:19,663 --> 00:17:21,081
[ Body thuds ]
413
00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:24,168
[ Groaning ] Huh?
414
00:17:24,251 --> 00:17:26,628
Wakey wakey,
eggs and bakey!
415
00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:29,965
I hope I didn't bash
your bally brains in.
416
00:17:30,048 --> 00:17:31,341
What the hell
is going on?!
417
00:17:31,425 --> 00:17:34,887
We're going to do
a little freaky Friday!
418
00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:38,682
What?
We're swapping bodies,
dear boy!
419
00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:43,312
Okay, got it.
You're crazy.
420
00:17:43,395 --> 00:17:45,981
Crazy about eternal life!
421
00:17:46,064 --> 00:17:49,026
How would you like
to hear a yarn?
422
00:17:49,109 --> 00:17:50,611
Do I have a choice?
423
00:17:50,694 --> 00:17:55,491
Once upon a time, 44,000
years ago give or take,
424
00:17:55,574 --> 00:17:59,369
I was
but a humble caveman.
425
00:17:59,453 --> 00:18:01,663
Twas the early days of art,
426
00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:04,583
but I saw how rewarding
it could be.
427
00:18:04,666 --> 00:18:07,169
[ Cheering ]
428
00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:10,881
I saw an opportunity
to "cash in."
429
00:18:10,964 --> 00:18:14,051
I was history's
first plagiarist,
430
00:18:14,134 --> 00:18:18,847
and that didn't
bust anyone's nuts.
431
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:22,184
But then a miracle!
432
00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:31,068
♪♪
433
00:18:31,151 --> 00:18:37,866
This space meteor had caused us
to switch bodies!
434
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:40,828
I'd escaped death,
and as a bonus,
435
00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:45,207
I was able to rip off the
other guy without consequence!
436
00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:49,002
My life, as the modern
teens say, "slapped."
437
00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:53,924
And with the meteor in my
possession, it never had to end.
438
00:18:54,007 --> 00:18:55,884
Whenever my body grew old,
439
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:58,554
I'd find an undiscovered
young artist,
440
00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:00,681
make them churn out
fresh content,
441
00:19:00,764 --> 00:19:04,226
take over their body,
and murder the poor twit.
442
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:09,189
So, wait a minute, you're just
some kind of crappy thief?
443
00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:13,026
I am an exceptional thief,
Mr. Dorpenberger!
444
00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:17,406
Time for you to shut
what is soon to be my mouth.
445
00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:20,492
[ Screams ]
446
00:19:20,576 --> 00:19:22,786
Oh, no!
I'm old as shit!
447
00:19:24,454 --> 00:19:27,249
Well, everything seems
to be tickety-boo!
448
00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:29,626
Let's get to killing you,
shall we?
449
00:19:29,710 --> 00:19:32,212
[ Grunts ]
Oh, bollocks.
450
00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:35,883
I always forget to untie myself
before swapping.
451
00:19:35,966 --> 00:19:41,638
♪♪
452
00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:44,558
Guys!
You have to help me!
453
00:19:44,641 --> 00:19:46,810
I'm actually Alex!
454
00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:50,772
Sir Jack used a magic meteor
to swap bodies with me!
455
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:52,649
Okay, at first
I thought you were
456
00:19:52,733 --> 00:19:54,026
just really good
at impressions,
457
00:19:54,109 --> 00:19:56,445
and I was like "Hello?!
SNL?"
458
00:19:56,528 --> 00:19:58,030
But the meteor thing
makes more sense.
459
00:19:58,113 --> 00:19:59,740
Look, you guys were right
when you said
460
00:19:59,823 --> 00:20:02,618
Sir Jack was mistreating me,
but you've got to help me!
461
00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:04,453
[ Horn honks ]
462
00:20:04,536 --> 00:20:06,121
[ Gasps ]
Alex?
463
00:20:06,204 --> 00:20:07,623
Not for long!
464
00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:10,125
Now, hand over the manuscripts
and meteor
465
00:20:10,208 --> 00:20:12,461
and I shan't decapitate you.
466
00:20:12,544 --> 00:20:14,004
You're way hotter
with that voice.
467
00:20:14,087 --> 00:20:15,464
Hey!
468
00:20:15,547 --> 00:20:22,971
♪♪
469
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:24,848
My precious!
470
00:20:24,932 --> 00:20:27,893
♪♪
471
00:20:27,976 --> 00:20:30,354
Josh: Whoa.
Everyone's friggin huge.
472
00:20:30,437 --> 00:20:32,314
Candice: Hell yeah,
I'm old enough to cuss!
473
00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:34,691
Bridgette: I'm literally
inside my ex.
474
00:20:34,775 --> 00:20:36,151
My therapist
is gonna love this.
475
00:20:36,234 --> 00:20:37,945
Emily: Wait.
So who's in Bridgette?
476
00:20:38,028 --> 00:20:39,404
That's Sir Bridgette.
477
00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:43,992
♪♪
478
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:46,495
Josh, you need
to do some curls.
479
00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:47,955
[ Grunts ]
480
00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:51,083
Ow!
I did not think that through.
481
00:20:51,166 --> 00:20:53,085
No, you really didn't.
482
00:20:53,168 --> 00:20:55,170
Anyhoo, enjoy hell!
483
00:20:55,253 --> 00:20:57,255
Stop!
484
00:20:57,339 --> 00:21:00,717
Let her go, or I'll torch
the manuscripts!
485
00:21:00,801 --> 00:21:04,304
What sort of imbecile
would destroy his life's work?
486
00:21:04,388 --> 00:21:09,184
An imbecile who loves
his friends!
487
00:21:09,267 --> 00:21:12,020
No!
My livelihood!
488
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:14,022
[ Screams ]
[ Gasps ]
489
00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:16,108
Catch!
490
00:21:16,191 --> 00:21:17,776
[ Both grunts ]
491
00:21:18,819 --> 00:21:20,612
[ Gasps ]
492
00:21:20,696 --> 00:21:22,406
Well, that's no good.
493
00:21:24,449 --> 00:21:26,868
Can someone please
cover my eyes?
494
00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:30,872
Well, that took
a ton of math,
495
00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:32,207
but I think everyone
496
00:21:32,290 --> 00:21:34,543
is who they're supposed
to be at this point.
497
00:21:34,626 --> 00:21:36,211
I'm sorry your idol
turned out to be
498
00:21:36,294 --> 00:21:38,380
an ancient body-stealing
fraud.
499
00:21:38,463 --> 00:21:41,174
Eh.
Could happen to anyone.
500
00:21:43,885 --> 00:21:46,555
Guess I should cancel my meeting
with Jack's agent, though.
501
00:21:46,638 --> 00:21:48,807
You must have something
you can show him.
502
00:21:48,890 --> 00:21:51,226
Nope.
This was everything.
503
00:21:51,309 --> 00:21:53,311
Unless...
504
00:21:53,395 --> 00:21:55,856
And then right
at the last second,
505
00:21:55,939 --> 00:22:00,694
they switch bodies again,
and Jack dies.
506
00:22:00,777 --> 00:22:02,320
The end.
507
00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:05,574
Yeahhh,
it's gonna be a pass.
508
00:22:05,657 --> 00:22:06,575
That's fair.
509
00:22:06,658 --> 00:22:12,205
♪♪
510
00:22:12,289 --> 00:22:17,753
♪♪
511
00:22:17,836 --> 00:22:23,425
♪♪
512
00:22:23,508 --> 00:22:29,097
♪♪
513
00:22:29,181 --> 00:22:34,644
♪♪
514
00:22:34,728 --> 00:22:40,275
♪♪
515
00:22:40,358 --> 00:22:45,947
♪♪
516
00:22:46,031 --> 00:22:51,745
♪♪
517
00:22:51,828 --> 00:22:55,582
♪♪