1 00:00:00,172 --> 00:00:04,781 Lance Armstrong, Martha Stewart, Tiger Woods, 2 00:00:04,844 --> 00:00:07,514 and yours truly, Zoey Johnson. 3 00:00:07,548 --> 00:00:10,317 What did all of us perfectly coiffed human beings 4 00:00:10,350 --> 00:00:13,463 have in common besides our unprecedented good looks 5 00:00:13,488 --> 00:00:14,988 and killer smiles? 6 00:00:15,022 --> 00:00:16,723 We were all cheaters. 7 00:00:18,225 --> 00:00:20,161 And as with most cheaters, 8 00:00:20,194 --> 00:00:22,329 there comes a time when we all must face 9 00:00:22,362 --> 00:00:24,699 the consequences of our actions... 10 00:00:26,232 --> 00:00:27,434 And me? 11 00:00:27,467 --> 00:00:28,836 Well, my consequences 12 00:00:28,869 --> 00:00:30,271 had yet to be revealed, 13 00:00:30,303 --> 00:00:32,272 but in less than 24 hours, 14 00:00:32,305 --> 00:00:34,040 I would learn what big red stamp 15 00:00:34,074 --> 00:00:35,842 would be slapped across my image 16 00:00:35,875 --> 00:00:38,946 after cheating on my Chemistry final. 17 00:00:38,979 --> 00:00:40,247 I'm so sorry. 18 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:42,516 Would you mind grabbing it for me? 19 00:00:47,321 --> 00:00:49,857 But you know what? It was gonna be okay. 20 00:00:49,890 --> 00:00:51,893 I mean, it's not like I'm facing... 21 00:00:54,394 --> 00:00:56,863 Expulsion? Holy sh... 22 00:00:56,897 --> 00:00:58,199 No. 23 00:00:58,232 --> 00:01:01,601 And to make matters worse, it was Parents' Weekend. 24 00:01:01,635 --> 00:01:04,371 And my dad, who was totally clueless, 25 00:01:04,404 --> 00:01:06,874 wouldn't stop calling to plan our itinerary. 26 00:01:06,906 --> 00:01:09,043 No. 27 00:01:11,912 --> 00:01:16,216 I said no-o-o-o-o-o-o-o! 28 00:01:16,249 --> 00:01:19,886 ♪ Watch out, world, I'm grown now ♪ 29 00:01:19,919 --> 00:01:21,555 ♪ I'm grown ♪ 30 00:01:21,588 --> 00:01:23,924 ♪ Learn something new every day ♪ 31 00:01:23,957 --> 00:01:26,594 ♪ I don't know, so I'm-a feel my way ♪ 32 00:01:26,627 --> 00:01:29,095 ♪ Got the weight of the world on me ♪ 33 00:01:29,129 --> 00:01:32,232 ♪ But no regrets, this is what I say ♪ 34 00:01:32,266 --> 00:01:35,903 ♪ Watch out, world, I'm grown now ♪ 35 00:01:35,936 --> 00:01:37,571 - ♪ I'm grown ♪ - ♪ You can tell me ♪ 36 00:01:37,603 --> 00:01:42,909 ♪ My heart beating so loud ♪ 37 00:01:42,942 --> 00:01:46,579 ♪ Mama, look, I'm grown now ♪ 38 00:01:46,612 --> 00:01:49,415 ♪ I'm grown ♪ 39 00:01:49,448 --> 00:01:51,084 I mean, I don't know what to say. 40 00:01:51,118 --> 00:01:53,086 I'm screwed. Like, I may as well pack my bags, 41 00:01:53,119 --> 00:01:54,621 look for a single in Pacoima, 42 00:01:54,654 --> 00:01:57,424 and a full-time job at, like, Pinkberry-type screwed. 43 00:01:57,457 --> 00:01:58,859 Honey, you're not that screwed. 44 00:01:58,892 --> 00:02:00,828 She's also not getting hired at Pinkberry. 45 00:02:00,860 --> 00:02:03,097 Do you know how hard it is to get a job there? 46 00:02:03,130 --> 00:02:05,673 Our whole family tried to work there for three straight years. 47 00:02:05,698 --> 00:02:07,167 Bitch thinks she can just walk in 48 00:02:07,201 --> 00:02:09,203 - and be a fro-yo ambassador. - No. 49 00:02:09,235 --> 00:02:11,005 - What? - Anyways, I meet with the board 50 00:02:11,037 --> 00:02:12,939 in less than 24 hours. 51 00:02:12,972 --> 00:02:14,340 I mean, I could be gone. 52 00:02:14,374 --> 00:02:16,142 - Great. - Oh. 53 00:02:16,143 --> 00:02:18,645 It's your dad... Throwing up the "W." 54 00:02:19,312 --> 00:02:20,714 No. 55 00:02:24,717 --> 00:02:28,488 If there's anyone who deserves to be shushed, it's that man. 56 00:02:28,522 --> 00:02:30,558 Cold. She just shushed her own father. 57 00:02:30,590 --> 00:02:33,126 He won't stop harassing me about Parents' Weekend. 58 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:35,496 So shouldn't you just answer and tell him not to come? 59 00:02:35,529 --> 00:02:37,163 Yes, Sky, I should. 60 00:02:37,197 --> 00:02:38,399 Tone. 61 00:02:38,431 --> 00:02:39,732 Sorry. 62 00:02:39,766 --> 00:02:41,401 Um, that's a good idea. 63 00:02:41,435 --> 00:02:44,338 I should, but I can't, because he's gonna hear my voice 64 00:02:44,370 --> 00:02:46,239 and immediately know that something's wrong, 65 00:02:46,273 --> 00:02:48,309 and then I will be extra screwed. 66 00:02:48,341 --> 00:02:50,344 I just have to pull myself together first. 67 00:02:50,376 --> 00:02:51,978 So, on that, I need a drink. 68 00:02:52,012 --> 00:02:54,181 - We all need drinks. - Yeah. 69 00:02:54,214 --> 00:02:55,983 You know, Zo, you actually might want to tell him 70 00:02:56,016 --> 00:02:58,151 not to come this weekend just for his own personal safety 71 00:02:58,185 --> 00:03:00,187 because it's about to go down. 72 00:03:00,220 --> 00:03:01,889 What are you talking about? 73 00:03:01,922 --> 00:03:03,556 All right, you guys know how I've been going 74 00:03:03,590 --> 00:03:06,160 to Professor Hewson for some guidance and mentoring? 75 00:03:06,192 --> 00:03:07,103 - Yeah. - Mm-hmm. 76 00:03:07,135 --> 00:03:08,398 Okay, so, thanks to her, 77 00:03:08,423 --> 00:03:11,665 I think I'm finally ready to tell my parents 78 00:03:11,697 --> 00:03:13,166 that I'm bi this weekend. 79 00:03:13,199 --> 00:03:15,335 - Oh, my goodness. - That... That's huge. 80 00:03:15,369 --> 00:03:17,071 And they probably won't take it that hard 81 00:03:17,103 --> 00:03:18,505 - 'cause you're only kinda gay. - Mm-hmm. 82 00:03:18,537 --> 00:03:21,674 Okay, not how that works. 83 00:03:21,708 --> 00:03:23,710 - We're drinking? - Yeah. Mm-hmm. 84 00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:35,589 Thank you. 85 00:03:38,424 --> 00:03:43,429 To Nomi's big moment... and to my last day at Cal U. 86 00:03:43,463 --> 00:03:44,965 - What? - Oh, don't say that. 87 00:03:44,997 --> 00:03:47,201 Honestly, you are all the best friends 88 00:03:47,233 --> 00:03:49,202 I could've ever asked for. 89 00:03:49,235 --> 00:03:50,471 Like you. 90 00:03:50,504 --> 00:03:52,372 I never thought that a woman 91 00:03:52,405 --> 00:03:56,743 with such a cynical attitude would be the Clyde to my Bonnie. 92 00:03:57,911 --> 00:04:02,282 Jazz and Sky, y'all are my sisters, 93 00:04:02,316 --> 00:04:04,385 and just like my real sister, 94 00:04:04,417 --> 00:04:10,657 you are cute and independent and, um... really scary. 95 00:04:10,691 --> 00:04:12,326 - Aww. - Aww. 96 00:04:12,359 --> 00:04:14,128 And you. 97 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:15,963 We have come so far. 98 00:04:15,996 --> 00:04:18,265 You know, you're my literal "ride or die." 99 00:04:18,297 --> 00:04:20,434 I'd trust you with my life. 100 00:04:22,302 --> 00:04:24,138 Bring it in. Come on. 101 00:04:24,170 --> 00:04:26,139 Bring it in. 102 00:04:26,172 --> 00:04:28,074 That's so sweet. 103 00:04:28,107 --> 00:04:31,682 All right, enough with, like, the "Army Wives" monologue. Let's... 104 00:04:31,707 --> 00:04:33,414 - Yeah. - Yeah. 105 00:04:33,446 --> 00:04:34,681 Mm. 106 00:04:34,715 --> 00:04:37,318 And, look, you're not getting kicked out anyway. 107 00:04:37,350 --> 00:04:38,651 All you have to do is go in there 108 00:04:38,684 --> 00:04:40,620 and answer every single question the same... 109 00:04:40,653 --> 00:04:42,588 "I do not recall." 110 00:04:42,621 --> 00:04:45,191 It worked for, um, Bill Clinton, Jeff Sessions... 111 00:04:45,225 --> 00:04:46,460 - Justin Bieber. - Lil Wayne. 112 00:04:46,492 --> 00:04:48,127 Those hot-ass Menendez brothers. 113 00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:49,963 - Hmm? - Hmm? 114 00:04:49,996 --> 00:04:51,298 - What? - Oh. 115 00:04:51,330 --> 00:04:52,333 You know what? All right. 116 00:04:52,366 --> 00:04:55,706 I think I am ready to call my dad. 117 00:04:55,731 --> 00:04:57,526 - You got it. - Yeah, it'll be fine. 118 00:04:57,551 --> 00:04:59,439 - Yeah, just breathe. - Hey, Dad. 119 00:04:59,472 --> 00:05:02,943 - She's screwed. - Mm-hmm. 120 00:05:02,975 --> 00:05:05,446 No. No, no, no, no. 121 00:05:05,479 --> 00:05:07,448 Nothing is wrong, Dad. I promise. 122 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:11,951 It's just that, I mean, Parents' Weekend feels a bit triggering. 123 00:05:11,984 --> 00:05:14,153 See? The way that you're crying right now, 124 00:05:14,186 --> 00:05:17,090 that's the way I'm crying... 125 00:05:17,114 --> 00:05:18,324 on the inside. 126 00:05:18,325 --> 00:05:21,562 So how about we just skip the weekend of heartache 127 00:05:21,595 --> 00:05:24,530 and remember each other how we are? 128 00:05:24,564 --> 00:05:27,234 You know what? You'll get there. Love you, Dad. Bye. 129 00:05:28,667 --> 00:05:31,004 First I cheated on my Chem final, 130 00:05:31,037 --> 00:05:33,741 and now I'm lying to my emo-ass dad. 131 00:05:33,773 --> 00:05:35,408 Who am I? 132 00:05:37,511 --> 00:05:39,713 Who are you? 133 00:05:43,116 --> 00:05:46,153 Great. Everybody's out here enjoying Parents' Weekend, 134 00:05:46,186 --> 00:05:48,155 and we're sitting here abandoned like a car 135 00:05:48,188 --> 00:05:49,523 on Cousin Speedy's front lawn. 136 00:05:49,556 --> 00:05:51,725 Y-Your pops isn't coming? Dude comes to everything. 137 00:05:51,758 --> 00:05:54,495 Not since Jazz's deep dive into Thot-land on the 'gram 138 00:05:54,528 --> 00:05:56,662 and I've been disowned by association. 139 00:05:56,696 --> 00:05:59,366 Relax. Daddy and I will resolve our issues eventually. 140 00:05:59,398 --> 00:06:01,768 Eh, spoken like a true future stripper. 141 00:06:01,802 --> 00:06:03,003 Guys, if it's any consolation, 142 00:06:03,035 --> 00:06:05,172 Parents' Weekend is totally overrated, okay? 143 00:06:05,205 --> 00:06:06,407 My parents never come. 144 00:06:06,439 --> 00:06:08,374 You think that's because maybe they don't love you? 145 00:06:08,407 --> 00:06:10,410 What? No. Correction. My parents adore me. 146 00:06:10,443 --> 00:06:13,112 It's just, freshman year, they had this little Ensenada cruise 147 00:06:13,145 --> 00:06:14,715 they booked the day I left home. 148 00:06:14,748 --> 00:06:17,017 Then sophomore year, the family dog got sick. 149 00:06:17,049 --> 00:06:18,585 You know Steve. Gotta take care of Steve. 150 00:06:18,617 --> 00:06:20,019 You know Steve. You've seen pictures. 151 00:06:20,052 --> 00:06:23,023 Um, and then this year, they, uh... 152 00:06:23,056 --> 00:06:26,092 you know... pbht... 153 00:06:26,126 --> 00:06:27,460 I got to make a quick call. 154 00:06:27,494 --> 00:06:29,797 Okay. Do you. 155 00:06:29,830 --> 00:06:31,532 Your parents abandon you, too? 156 00:06:31,564 --> 00:06:33,366 Nah. I didn't even tell them about it. 157 00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:35,135 Parents' Weekend is big business for me. 158 00:06:35,167 --> 00:06:36,369 Lots of stressed-out students 159 00:06:36,403 --> 00:06:39,873 and a lot of dads with erectile dysfunction. 160 00:06:39,905 --> 00:06:41,407 Oh, my God! 161 00:06:41,441 --> 00:06:42,810 What did Tyrese do now? 162 00:06:42,842 --> 00:06:46,646 No! Somebody hacked my IG account! 163 00:06:56,689 --> 00:06:59,059 Before we begin, I feel it's only right 164 00:06:59,092 --> 00:07:02,395 that I recuse myself from this matter. 165 00:07:02,429 --> 00:07:05,399 The defendant and I are actually blood relatives 166 00:07:05,431 --> 00:07:08,234 who share the same exact genetic makeup. 167 00:07:08,268 --> 00:07:11,004 And as such, I find it impossible for me 168 00:07:11,037 --> 00:07:13,674 to remain impartial in this matter. 169 00:07:13,706 --> 00:07:15,608 Really? 170 00:07:15,641 --> 00:07:18,077 The one time this moron could actually help me, 171 00:07:18,111 --> 00:07:19,279 and he's bouncing. 172 00:07:26,119 --> 00:07:28,088 Apologies for my attire. 173 00:07:28,121 --> 00:07:30,023 Me and some buddies took an impromptu trip 174 00:07:30,056 --> 00:07:32,092 down to Lake Havasu last night, 175 00:07:32,124 --> 00:07:37,830 where my boy Deante took a lighter to my work pants. 176 00:07:37,864 --> 00:07:41,669 Now... if you'll recuse me. 177 00:07:42,903 --> 00:07:44,705 You did this, Laura. 178 00:07:44,737 --> 00:07:46,607 You voted him dean. 179 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,509 You know, actually, on second thought, 180 00:07:48,542 --> 00:07:51,678 he should just leave and never, ever come back. 181 00:07:51,710 --> 00:07:54,114 Ms. Johnson, 182 00:07:54,146 --> 00:07:57,350 you're being accused of cheating on your final exam. 183 00:07:57,383 --> 00:07:59,785 As I sat there watching the board, 184 00:07:59,818 --> 00:08:02,289 all I could see were the faces... 185 00:08:02,321 --> 00:08:04,991 the faces of those who I knew I'd disappoint 186 00:08:05,025 --> 00:08:06,493 if I couldn't fix this. 187 00:08:06,525 --> 00:08:08,328 What the [bleep] she doing? 188 00:08:12,398 --> 00:08:15,668 And the faces of the people I would miss if I got expelled. 189 00:08:20,172 --> 00:08:23,809 And then, suddenly, I remembered Nomi's advice. 190 00:08:23,842 --> 00:08:26,379 Remember, "I do not recall." 191 00:08:26,412 --> 00:08:28,648 "I do not recall." 192 00:08:28,681 --> 00:08:30,717 "I do not recall." 193 00:08:32,851 --> 00:08:35,855 Is there anything you would like to say on your behalf? 194 00:08:37,556 --> 00:08:39,560 Ms. Johnson? 195 00:08:39,593 --> 00:08:40,861 Ms. Johnson? 196 00:08:40,893 --> 00:08:43,763 Uh... mm-hmm? 197 00:08:43,797 --> 00:08:46,367 Is there anything you'd like to say on your behalf? 198 00:08:47,300 --> 00:08:49,637 I do not re... 199 00:08:51,204 --> 00:08:53,040 There isn't. 200 00:08:54,874 --> 00:08:56,944 I-I cheated. 201 00:08:59,707 --> 00:09:03,215 So that afternoon, I discovered what my consequence was 202 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:06,686 after all, and it wasn't facing that ethics board. 203 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:09,022 It was facing myself. 204 00:09:09,055 --> 00:09:13,226 And the truth was, I didn't like the person I was becoming. 205 00:09:13,258 --> 00:09:14,894 - Ms. Johnson? - Yeah? 206 00:09:14,927 --> 00:09:17,029 - We're ready for you. - Okay. 207 00:09:21,267 --> 00:09:24,371 Wow. This really is nice. 208 00:09:24,403 --> 00:09:27,206 Sure. It's no Yale, but at least it's just as expensive. 209 00:09:27,239 --> 00:09:28,709 Mm-hmm. 210 00:09:28,742 --> 00:09:32,312 Ooh, there are so many attractive young men here... 211 00:09:32,345 --> 00:09:33,714 - Mom. - Calm down, Sue. 212 00:09:33,747 --> 00:09:34,982 We've talked about this at counseling. 213 00:09:35,014 --> 00:09:36,282 Fine. 214 00:09:36,316 --> 00:09:39,619 So... have you met anyone special? 215 00:09:41,354 --> 00:09:43,389 Actually, um, I have. 216 00:09:43,422 --> 00:09:45,558 Please tell me he's Jewish. 217 00:09:53,499 --> 00:09:56,235 I don't know what she is, Mom. 218 00:10:04,844 --> 00:10:07,580 I cannot believe this. All my posts are gone. 219 00:10:07,614 --> 00:10:09,016 I can't even sign in. 220 00:10:09,048 --> 00:10:10,650 Here, give me the phone. I've dealt with this before. 221 00:10:10,683 --> 00:10:12,151 The haters are constantly hacking V-dig. 222 00:10:12,185 --> 00:10:15,081 - What's your password? - eatthebootylikegroceries_1. 223 00:10:15,106 --> 00:10:16,139 What? 224 00:10:16,164 --> 00:10:17,824 It gets weird when she's on the phone with the bank 225 00:10:17,856 --> 00:10:18,941 and has to verify. 226 00:10:18,966 --> 00:10:20,259 You know what else is weird now that I think of it? 227 00:10:20,292 --> 00:10:22,294 My parents didn't even help me move into college. 228 00:10:22,327 --> 00:10:25,331 Like, no care packages, no Costco runs, nothing... 229 00:10:25,364 --> 00:10:26,499 You. 230 00:10:26,532 --> 00:10:28,768 It was probably his hatin' ass who did it. 231 00:10:28,802 --> 00:10:30,970 - Excuse me? - Her Instagram page. 232 00:10:31,004 --> 00:10:32,538 Somebody hacked it. 233 00:10:32,571 --> 00:10:34,173 I ain't looked at your ratchet-ass page 234 00:10:34,206 --> 00:10:35,441 since we broke up. 235 00:10:35,475 --> 00:10:36,777 I don't even follow you no more. 236 00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:39,212 You unfollowed me? 237 00:10:39,244 --> 00:10:41,447 I understand how you feel, 'cause my parents unfollowed me 238 00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:42,948 in real life, so... 239 00:10:42,981 --> 00:10:44,684 Damn it. 240 00:10:44,718 --> 00:10:47,554 Wow. You have taken pettiness to a whole other level. 241 00:10:47,586 --> 00:10:51,157 I did not hack you, but whoever did did you a favor 242 00:10:51,191 --> 00:10:53,660 - by taking down them thirsty-ass posts. - You see right there? 243 00:10:53,692 --> 00:10:54,960 That's the type of pettiness 244 00:10:54,994 --> 00:10:56,196 that really makes me think you did it. 245 00:10:56,229 --> 00:10:57,797 Yo, I said I didn't do it. 246 00:10:57,830 --> 00:10:59,666 But now you're making me feel like I should've. 247 00:10:59,699 --> 00:11:00,734 - Oh, really? - Yes. 248 00:11:00,767 --> 00:11:02,069 - Oh, really? - Yes. 249 00:11:02,101 --> 00:11:03,669 - I did not hack your page. - Yes, you did. 250 00:11:03,702 --> 00:11:07,707 Why you lying? 251 00:11:07,740 --> 00:11:10,309 - Hey. - Hey, quick question. 252 00:11:10,343 --> 00:11:12,345 Um, have your parents come to every Parents' Weekend? 253 00:11:12,378 --> 00:11:14,480 It's not like a-a thing, is it? 254 00:11:14,513 --> 00:11:15,981 Yeah, my parents come to everything. 255 00:11:16,014 --> 00:11:18,250 Ugh, my mother brought me enough lechón 256 00:11:18,283 --> 00:11:19,485 to feed me for a month. 257 00:11:19,518 --> 00:11:21,421 They love me. 258 00:11:21,454 --> 00:11:23,223 Right, right. 259 00:11:23,255 --> 00:11:25,057 Is this what you called me about? 260 00:11:25,090 --> 00:11:27,661 No. Yeah, I was just calling to ask about Zoey. 261 00:11:27,694 --> 00:11:29,596 How'd that go? Like, did you tell her yet? 262 00:11:29,629 --> 00:11:31,330 Not yet. 263 00:11:31,364 --> 00:11:33,399 But I will do it tonight. 264 00:11:33,432 --> 00:11:35,167 Okay, well, let me know how that goes, 265 00:11:35,201 --> 00:11:37,903 and congratulations on your parents loving you, too. 266 00:11:37,936 --> 00:11:40,239 Uh, thank you? 267 00:11:43,442 --> 00:11:45,778 Guess what. I did it, babe. 268 00:11:45,811 --> 00:11:47,847 - I beat the system. - Nice. What happened? 269 00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:50,116 Life is good for both you and me. 270 00:11:50,149 --> 00:11:52,451 Like, okay, sure, I'm on academic probation, 271 00:11:52,484 --> 00:11:54,955 and, you know, I will have to take Chemistry again, 272 00:11:54,988 --> 00:11:56,022 but you know what? 273 00:11:56,055 --> 00:11:57,624 I am still a Cal U Titan. 274 00:11:57,657 --> 00:11:59,626 Congrats. Okay, Titan. 275 00:12:00,994 --> 00:12:03,263 That is probably Postmates 276 00:12:03,296 --> 00:12:06,099 because I ordered us some celebratory pho. 277 00:12:06,132 --> 00:12:07,400 Coming, coming, coming. 278 00:12:07,432 --> 00:12:10,202 Hey. Hey, hey. 279 00:12:10,235 --> 00:12:13,472 You want to tell me what the hell is going on? 280 00:12:13,505 --> 00:12:15,608 What the pho... 281 00:12:18,945 --> 00:12:20,946 Why after Charlie called me 282 00:12:20,979 --> 00:12:22,883 to tell me about his Lake Havasu trip 283 00:12:22,916 --> 00:12:26,619 did he also tell me that you are on academic probation?! 284 00:12:26,653 --> 00:12:28,654 Wow. This how the young college kids living these days? 285 00:12:28,687 --> 00:12:30,389 - Damn. - What the hell? 286 00:12:30,422 --> 00:12:33,393 Make me want to re-enroll, pull a black Rodney Dangerfield. 287 00:12:33,426 --> 00:12:34,666 Where do you keep your ice? 288 00:12:34,698 --> 00:12:37,136 Right down there, and, Dad, honestly everything is fine. 289 00:12:37,162 --> 00:12:38,565 They put me on academic probation 290 00:12:38,598 --> 00:12:40,066 instead of expelling me because I came clean 291 00:12:40,099 --> 00:12:41,568 and told them I was cheating on my Chem final... 292 00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:43,769 What? 293 00:12:43,802 --> 00:12:45,404 Holy crap. 294 00:12:45,437 --> 00:12:47,340 Did I just Fredo Corleone myself? 295 00:12:47,373 --> 00:12:50,076 Zoey, who are you? Huh? 296 00:12:50,109 --> 00:12:51,811 Oh, calm down, Dre. 297 00:12:51,845 --> 00:12:54,580 I can remember a time when I got a call from Howard 298 00:12:54,614 --> 00:12:56,917 about a young, dumb freshman who had just got caught 299 00:12:56,950 --> 00:12:59,585 buying a term paper from some white kid. 300 00:12:59,619 --> 00:13:02,589 First off, Gary grew up in a black neighborhood, 301 00:13:02,622 --> 00:13:04,758 and secondly, he seemed to have a grasp 302 00:13:04,791 --> 00:13:06,426 of the Harlem Renaissance. 303 00:13:06,459 --> 00:13:08,595 Whatever it was, cheating is a necessary life skill. 304 00:13:08,628 --> 00:13:11,263 I mean, how do you think most successful people get ahead anyway? 305 00:13:11,297 --> 00:13:13,667 But if you're gonna cheat, Zoey, don't get caught. 306 00:13:13,700 --> 00:13:14,935 - That's bush league. - Pops. 307 00:13:14,968 --> 00:13:16,870 - Yeah? - You're not helping the situation. 308 00:13:16,903 --> 00:13:18,271 I'm sorry, Dre. I just don't think it's as big 309 00:13:18,303 --> 00:13:19,574 a "situation" as you do. 310 00:13:19,599 --> 00:13:21,874 Hey, baby. Are these the Postmates guys? 311 00:13:26,812 --> 00:13:29,448 Oh, now we got a "situation." 312 00:13:38,258 --> 00:13:39,893 - Hey. - Hi. 313 00:13:39,926 --> 00:13:41,294 - Guess what? - What? 314 00:13:41,326 --> 00:13:42,828 Came out to my parents. 315 00:13:42,861 --> 00:13:45,304 - Yep. Can you believe it? - Wow. 316 00:13:45,335 --> 00:13:46,799 I mean, my dad thinks it's just a phase. 317 00:13:46,832 --> 00:13:49,335 My mom, like, keeps asking me if I'm gonna leave school 318 00:13:49,369 --> 00:13:53,672 to go to Broadway, but whatever 'cause I feel, like, amazing. 319 00:13:53,705 --> 00:13:54,975 Thank you so much. 320 00:13:55,008 --> 00:13:56,843 You have no reason to thank me. 321 00:13:56,875 --> 00:13:59,678 I didn't even do it, by the way, because I felt like I had to. 322 00:13:59,711 --> 00:14:03,249 I did it because you made me realize that I wanted to. 323 00:14:03,282 --> 00:14:05,585 I mean, like, the events that you took me to, 324 00:14:05,618 --> 00:14:10,156 all the talks that we had, I mean, the connection between us. 325 00:14:14,127 --> 00:14:15,595 I'm happy for you, Nomi. 326 00:14:15,628 --> 00:14:17,229 Thanks. 327 00:14:17,263 --> 00:14:19,566 Would you mind if I... if I gave you a call tomorrow? 328 00:14:19,599 --> 00:14:22,035 Yeah, totally. For sure. Call me whenever you're free. 329 00:14:25,872 --> 00:14:28,174 Oh. 330 00:14:28,206 --> 00:14:31,477 Sorry. Did, I, um... Did I interrupt something? 331 00:14:34,279 --> 00:14:35,681 Yeah. 332 00:14:35,715 --> 00:14:38,518 Hey, hey, Nomi. Nomi, come here. 333 00:14:38,551 --> 00:14:39,953 No, you know what? It's fine. 334 00:14:39,985 --> 00:14:41,854 I obviously misinterpreted your feelings, 335 00:14:41,888 --> 00:14:43,389 seeing as there's another woman in there 336 00:14:43,422 --> 00:14:44,957 with her legs kicked up, drinking what appears to be 337 00:14:44,990 --> 00:14:46,509 a very light Pinot Noir. 338 00:14:46,534 --> 00:14:48,361 You didn't misinterpret anything. 339 00:14:48,393 --> 00:14:50,562 I thought you understood the reality of this. 340 00:14:50,595 --> 00:14:53,133 I understand that we're both adults. 341 00:14:53,166 --> 00:14:54,868 And we can do whatever we want. 342 00:14:54,901 --> 00:14:56,870 Absolutely. In the real world, yes. 343 00:14:56,903 --> 00:14:59,806 But our situation, it's not realistic. 344 00:14:59,839 --> 00:15:01,374 People find out, I get fired, 345 00:15:01,407 --> 00:15:03,677 and how am I supposed to defend myself? 346 00:15:06,345 --> 00:15:08,648 Uh, yeah, I don't know. 347 00:15:08,681 --> 00:15:10,215 I don't know. 348 00:15:10,249 --> 00:15:12,085 Shit. 349 00:15:12,118 --> 00:15:13,920 Yeah, I guess you couldn't. 350 00:15:23,830 --> 00:15:25,546 Back in the day when I went to college, 351 00:15:25,571 --> 00:15:29,068 men were not allowed in ladies' rooms past sundown. 352 00:15:29,093 --> 00:15:30,362 Winters were hard. 353 00:15:30,388 --> 00:15:32,057 You didn't go to college, Pops. 354 00:15:32,090 --> 00:15:34,225 That's 'cause I was out there risking my life in 'Nam. 355 00:15:34,259 --> 00:15:35,961 You also didn't go to 'Nam. 356 00:15:35,994 --> 00:15:37,128 Man, [bleep] you. Listen here. 357 00:15:37,161 --> 00:15:38,463 This young bohemian is up in here 358 00:15:38,495 --> 00:15:39,864 living his best life with my granddaughter. 359 00:15:39,898 --> 00:15:40,902 - Mm-hmm. - Um... 360 00:15:40,927 --> 00:15:42,200 Well, with all due respect, 361 00:15:42,233 --> 00:15:43,802 I don't live here. 362 00:15:43,835 --> 00:15:45,804 - I have my own spot. - He does. 363 00:15:45,836 --> 00:15:48,206 And when was the last time you slept at your "spot"? 364 00:15:48,239 --> 00:15:49,975 - Like, what was it, yesterday? - Pfft. Like, September. 365 00:15:50,008 --> 00:15:52,744 - Yesterday, yesterday. - Yesterday. 366 00:15:52,777 --> 00:15:55,146 What's that behind your ear, dawg? 367 00:15:55,178 --> 00:15:57,348 Is that a cigarette? 368 00:15:57,382 --> 00:15:58,750 Oh, pfft, nah, it's nothing. 369 00:15:58,783 --> 00:16:02,921 It's actually, um, a-a-a hearing aid 370 00:16:02,954 --> 00:16:06,925 because Luca happens to be hearing-impaired. 371 00:16:06,957 --> 00:16:10,594 See, they know about your hearing... 372 00:16:10,628 --> 00:16:12,097 Zoey! 373 00:16:12,129 --> 00:16:15,332 Come on. 374 00:16:20,305 --> 00:16:22,340 Look at me. 375 00:16:22,373 --> 00:16:25,076 Who are you? 376 00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:28,379 - Dad, I'm so sorry about this whole... - Stop. 377 00:16:34,451 --> 00:16:37,022 Your mother and I have worked hard 378 00:16:37,055 --> 00:16:39,357 to make sure you have everything that you need. 379 00:16:39,389 --> 00:16:41,178 - I know. - Hell, we've given you tons of stuff 380 00:16:41,202 --> 00:16:42,658 that you don't need. 381 00:16:42,659 --> 00:16:45,029 And looking around at all this, 382 00:16:45,062 --> 00:16:50,367 I realize... that I've made your life too easy for you. 383 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:53,771 What? I... I'm gonna get better and do better, Dad. 384 00:16:53,805 --> 00:16:56,608 - You'll see. Next semester, I'll be... - No, I won't. 385 00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:59,777 I've seen enough, Zoey, 386 00:16:59,811 --> 00:17:01,146 and I'm done. 387 00:17:04,916 --> 00:17:06,918 W-What does that mean? 388 00:17:08,753 --> 00:17:13,658 It means that if you want to stay at Cal U, great. 389 00:17:13,690 --> 00:17:18,796 But this lifestyle, I can't bankroll anymore. 390 00:17:22,433 --> 00:17:23,768 I'm cutting you off, Zoey. 391 00:17:33,543 --> 00:17:36,447 No, if you came here to accuse... 392 00:17:36,481 --> 00:17:39,917 I-I know who hacked my account. 393 00:17:39,950 --> 00:17:44,421 If your nasty ass came to this page to stalk my daughter, 394 00:17:44,455 --> 00:17:46,758 well, you in the wrong damn place. 395 00:17:46,791 --> 00:17:50,695 But if you came to inquire about some delectable 396 00:17:50,727 --> 00:17:54,099 South Korean BBQ and collard greens, 397 00:17:54,131 --> 00:17:56,266 you exactly where you should be. 398 00:17:56,300 --> 00:17:58,369 Mmm. 399 00:17:58,402 --> 00:17:59,437 That was your pops? 400 00:17:59,469 --> 00:18:02,106 - Yeah. - Dude is wild. 401 00:18:02,139 --> 00:18:03,941 I like his style, though. 402 00:18:06,310 --> 00:18:09,280 - So... - So... Uh, you. 403 00:18:09,312 --> 00:18:14,386 Uh... I'm sorry for accusing you of hacking my page. 404 00:18:14,418 --> 00:18:16,687 I guess I'm sorry, too. 405 00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:18,957 Unfollowing you was kind of petty. 406 00:18:18,990 --> 00:18:21,626 Speaking of which, if you unfollowed me, 407 00:18:21,658 --> 00:18:24,763 how did you know my "thirsty-ass posts" were taken down? 408 00:18:26,229 --> 00:18:28,866 A-A dude might've made a little burner account 409 00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:31,235 - to check your page from time to time. - Oh. Okay. 410 00:18:31,269 --> 00:18:34,672 But I still think your dad did you a favor. 411 00:18:34,705 --> 00:18:37,675 Yo, you're too smart and talented. 412 00:18:37,707 --> 00:18:39,878 You're doper than that. 413 00:18:39,910 --> 00:18:41,912 - Thank you. - Yeah. 414 00:18:44,247 --> 00:18:48,052 So, um... see you around. 415 00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:51,488 - Hope so. - Yeah, see you. 416 00:18:59,530 --> 00:19:01,166 - Hey. - Uh, hey. 417 00:19:01,198 --> 00:19:03,311 I got your text about academic probation. 418 00:19:03,336 --> 00:19:04,971 That's great. Oh, wait. Wait, wait, wait. 419 00:19:05,012 --> 00:19:06,615 Where are you going? I was hoping to talk to you. 420 00:19:06,647 --> 00:19:08,783 I'm so sorry. I really can't right now. 421 00:19:08,817 --> 00:19:11,181 Today's been, um, a really tough day, 422 00:19:11,206 --> 00:19:12,269 so I'm just gonna... 423 00:19:12,294 --> 00:19:13,448 You know, I'll catch you. I'll catch you. 424 00:19:13,473 --> 00:19:15,332 Oh. 425 00:19:17,358 --> 00:19:20,295 I'm sleeping with Aaron. 426 00:19:21,829 --> 00:19:24,832 So, I was only halfway through my sophomore year, 427 00:19:24,865 --> 00:19:27,469 and it felt like my life was unraveling. 428 00:19:27,501 --> 00:19:29,538 My dad was disappointed in me, 429 00:19:29,570 --> 00:19:31,706 I barely managed to stay in school, 430 00:19:31,740 --> 00:19:33,675 and now after being cut off, 431 00:19:33,709 --> 00:19:37,179 I had no idea how I was even going to pay for it. 432 00:19:37,211 --> 00:19:39,647 I had hit rock bottom. 433 00:19:39,681 --> 00:19:41,850 - Hey. - Hi. 434 00:19:41,883 --> 00:19:43,552 You okay? 435 00:19:45,753 --> 00:19:47,522 No, Aaron, I'm not, 436 00:19:47,556 --> 00:19:50,925 because I feel like I've just had this major bomb dropped on me. 437 00:19:50,959 --> 00:19:52,361 Shit. 438 00:19:52,394 --> 00:19:55,998 Uh... I'm so sorry. 439 00:19:56,030 --> 00:19:58,000 I don't know. I just feel like I'm on 440 00:19:58,032 --> 00:19:59,701 the verge of a nervous breakdown. 441 00:19:59,734 --> 00:20:02,370 I've never felt more blindsided. 442 00:20:02,403 --> 00:20:05,007 Look, Zoey, we didn't mean to hurt you, okay? 443 00:20:05,039 --> 00:20:07,875 It's just, Ana's cool, right? 444 00:20:07,909 --> 00:20:11,789 And then things just kind of... they happened. 445 00:20:12,713 --> 00:20:14,849 Okay, what are you talking about? 446 00:20:14,883 --> 00:20:16,619 What happened with you and Ana? 447 00:20:16,652 --> 00:20:19,688 W-Wait. Did Ana not talk to you? 448 00:20:19,721 --> 00:20:23,062 Talk to me about what? 449 00:20:25,326 --> 00:20:26,929 Um... 450 00:20:38,272 --> 00:20:41,618 Stop it. Stop it. And sit down. 451 00:20:46,815 --> 00:20:51,487 So, um, how long you and my granddaughter been an item? 452 00:20:51,519 --> 00:20:54,093 About six months. 453 00:20:54,125 --> 00:20:56,665 We basically started as friends. 454 00:20:56,692 --> 00:20:59,761 Yeah, that's usually how it starts... 455 00:21:01,430 --> 00:21:02,564 Mm-hmm. 456 00:21:02,596 --> 00:21:05,901 No. I won't. 457 00:21:05,933 --> 00:21:09,437 Um, oh, been meaning to tell you, I... 458 00:21:09,471 --> 00:21:11,411 I like this linen joint you got going. 459 00:21:11,436 --> 00:21:12,653 It's fire. 460 00:21:12,678 --> 00:21:14,343 Thank you. 461 00:21:14,375 --> 00:21:15,610 No doubt. 462 00:21:15,644 --> 00:21:17,613 I'm not mad at that kimono. 463 00:21:20,115 --> 00:21:22,151 Do you wanna try it on? 464 00:21:24,452 --> 00:21:25,586 Is that... 465 00:21:25,619 --> 00:21:27,588 Okay, sure. Why not? 466 00:21:36,131 --> 00:21:37,500 Ooh. 467 00:21:39,201 --> 00:21:40,803 Looks fire. 468 00:21:41,970 --> 00:21:44,306 You know you're not getting this back, right? 469 00:21:44,338 --> 00:21:45,707 Hmm? 470 00:21:47,709 --> 00:21:49,478 What size shoe do you wear? 471 00:21:49,502 --> 00:21:51,902 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com