- Every act of creation begins with an act of destruction--
Pablo Picasso, baby.
After my semester of studying great minds
and entrepreneurs alike,
I've picked up some great business lessons
but also some great life ones.
- I'm proud of you, Junior.
- "Likeness rights in perpetuity"?
No, no, no. Whose day do I have to ruin?
Well, anyone didn't just confirm Anderson .Paak
and the Free Nationals
at Bar None's school year kickoff party.
Now I'm racking up wins like "Nitro"-era Goldberg,
a successful businessman whose most powerful quote,
"Who's next?" is also my managerial motto.
- That is your fifth pamplemousse.
If you stay here, you need to kick in.
- Sorry, Sofia.
- Don't be sorry. Be better.
- A-admittedly, I have sort of fumbled the bag
on the living situation.
- And where you living, in my house, rent free, right?
- Here's an adult decision for you.
I'm out.
- So about our holiday potluck-palooza--
- Don't you dare.
Do you know how hard it is to line up
the holiday schedules of an influencer,
an East Coaster, two locals, and a Lauryn?
- I had every intention of going,
but I booked a gig in San Diego.
- Hmm, I didn't know there was a booming fashion industry
in San Diego.
- Well, I'm not staying in town
for Mom and Dad's very special marriage-saving holiday.
- Then come to New York.
Sure, there's gonna be Luka's rant
about the gentrification of Christmas trees,
but we also have a place in SoHo.
- You don't have to go to New York.
He livestreams those rants. - It's a nah for me.
I'm really excited to go to San Diego
and be the smartest person in the city.
- Guess who got invited to host the spin-off
of "Influencer Island"!
Me! - Oh, my glob.
- If Goldberg's asking, "Who's next?"...
guess who's got two thumbs, calves that won't quit,
and a brand-new client.
This guy.
Oh, my God. Baby, I'm so proud of you.
both: ♪ Watch out, world ♪
♪ I'm grown now ♪
♪ I'm grown ♪
- ♪ Learn something new every day ♪
♪ I don't know so I'ma feel my way ♪
♪ Got the weight of the world on me ♪
♪ But no regrets ♪
♪ This is what I say ♪
both: ♪ Watch out, world ♪
♪ I'm grown now ♪
♪ I'm grown ♪
- ♪ You can't tell me nothin' ♪
both: ♪ My heartbeat is so loud ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Mama, look, I'm grown now ♪
♪ I'm grown ♪
♪ ♪
- To Annika and continuing her dominance of social media
on land, air, and now sea!
- Whoo! - Yeah!
both: Whoo! - Mm.
To my girl, from influencer on "Influencer Island"
to the host of "Social Submarine."
- Oh, my God, it's officially official.
- Aw, baby's first-deal memo as a host
and not contestant trash.
- Okay, less than I thought, but I'm just excited
for this opportunity.
- Uh, do you mind if I peruse your contract?
- Sure, you probably understand more than I do.
- Yeah, we'll take a look.
Ooh.
Boo bear, you need to get paid more.
- It's fine.
I don't want to lose this opportunity being greedy.
- I need to negotiate this for you.
- Awkward.
- No, I-I go to school for this,
and I know how to bend an ear without breaking the bank.
Besides, you don't see Zara complaining about me
helping to secure her the bag, right?
So...
- Okay, you know what?
Why not?
Do your thing, "baybay."
- Ooh, "baybay," I love that.
- Yes, 911? It's getting gross.
- Ahh.
- Now don't move. - Mm-hmm.
- I want to try something unconventional.
- Okay, cool, yeah, no, I like unconventional.
Unconventional is good.
Aah!
Oh, my God. - It's so good, right?
- No, it's the opposite of good--it's unthinkable.
I think that you broke my penis.
Don't look at it! - What?
- Just close your eyes!
Ugh! - What?
[door closes]
- Hey, babe?
Let's go over your counteroffer.
Okay, so first off, first class.
You are the star of "Social Submarine,"
and you should be treated as such.
Also, check out my counter for your salary.
- You think you can get me that much?
That would pay my tuition.
- Well, then call me the Andre Johnson scholarship,
because that is what I will get you
and that is what you are worth.
- I have to say,
I was a little worried about mixing personal and business,
but you actually know what you're doing.
- Wow, you really took the scenic route
with that compliment.
- I just want to say thank you for keeping me company.
- It's the least I could do. - Yeah.
- I thought we were doing, like, a reverse counter--
- Stop, please. Please just stop, okay?
'Cause when you talk about it, I think about it.
When I think about it, it hurts.
- Where is he? Oh, God.
I thought they were pointing me toward the morgue.
- No, Doug, it's much worse than the morgue.
- Okay, well, you didn't show up for class,
and I'm your emergency contact.
Edie? - [sighs]
I shattered your man's...
man.
I guess I didn't know my own power.
- Wait, are you saying-- did you...
to him?
Oh, this is the X-ray they were talking about
at the nurses' station.
- What were they saying at the nurses' station?
Will I be able to walk again? Will I have to become a priest?
Just keep it straight with me, okay?
I can handle it.
Who are you texting?
- I'm getting a TA to cover my lecture.
Do we know how long this is gonna be?
- [snickers] Not as long as it was.
- This is funny?
Look at me. No, look.
Go ahead.
[phone ringing]
- Oh, my--It's Taylor. Are you ready?
What time is it? Game time.
What time is it? - Just answer the phone.
- Yes, you're right, okay.
Hey, Taylor.
- So I reviewed your counter, and this is where we're at.
We can make the hotel work instead of the rental.
- Mm.
- And we'll agree to first-class travel
on a non-precedential basis, of course.
[phone beeps] - Are you not entertained?
- Finally, regarding compensation,
we don't have room in the budget,
but we love Annika and think she'd be amazing.
We have a deal?
- Take it, take it.
♪ ♪
- I think we have a...
I can get more.
She is trying to play me, but what she's about to learn
is that Andre Johnson ain't no Game Boy.
Uh, Taylor...
my client won't take one cent less than our counter.
If you can't get there, then you don't get her.
Bye, now. - Can we--
[phone beeps]
- And that's how it's done. - What the actual [bleep]?
You just ignored me and cost me my dream job.
What were you thinking?
Oh...
my God.
[tense music]
- She is no longer entertained.
- What happened to bending the ear
without breaking the bank? - I--
- I literally watched you break the ear off
and burn the whole bank down.
- I-if you want big money, you have to take big swings.
That is the business of business.
And like my parents used to say, "Chillax."
- "Chillax"? - Yeah.
- Oh, my God, I cannot believe this is happening.
- Are we, um, interrupting something?
- You know, I've seen enough arguments between my parents
that I know exactly what's up.
We just saved Andre's life.
- No, no, the only thing that is being saved
is Annika's deal.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go for a walk
and wait for Taylor to call me back,
which she will.
- Annika, why are you breathing through your eyes?
- My manager went rogue.
I think I messed up by mixing business with pleasure.
- I mean, you did trust him to make the deal,
so maybe you should try to just relax.
- Get out.
- Okay, done.
♪ ♪
- [sighs]
- O-okay, maybe I could have listened to her better, right?
But I was on a negotiation high.
I needed to follow my instinct.
- If she thinks you owe her an apology,
you need to give it to her.
- But I don't want to.
- Why you ask for advice if you not gonna take it?
- I just feel like people shouldn't apologize
unless they mean it.
- My daddy been apologizing
for all type of stuff he ain't even do.
He been married for 36 years.
He mostly happy, too.
- You think? - I know.
Look, bring her to the DougOut.
I'll provide the incredible vibes.
You provide her with the apology that she needs to hear.
- You gonna hook me up with some free food?
- No.
I know you and Aaron beefing, but we ain't free-shit close.
♪ ♪
- Damn.
- Okay, see you soon.
Bye.
Hey, what's up?
Sorry about missing the potluck again,
but San Diego calls.
You would think you could pack light
when you're just going to San Diego for a gig,
but, like, I have so many fun clothes that I want to wear
but I never get to wear, but I will wear in San Diego.
So...
- Why don't you just admit you're gonna go see Drea?
- I know it's a bad idea,
but she was just so sweet when she asked me.
- It's cool.
You don't need to explain yourself to me.
If you want to go see Drea, just go.
We're all here trying to figure things out,
and sometimes you have to experience firsthand
if something is or isn't for you.
♪ ♪
- [yelps] Okay, yeah. I think I should do it.
- Okay. - Mm-hmm.
Just slide it right under there.
[sighs] Okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. [sighs]
My God.
I'm 26 years old, and I'm sitting on a dong doughnut.
You know, just killing the game, Jackson.
This sucks, 'cause you're gonna be out there in them streets,
while I'm sitting here
with my business looking like a soggy curly fry.
- Okay, since I am somewhat responsible
for your predicament...
- Yeah. - I won't go on any dates
until you are back to a thick-cut potato wedge.
- The thickest cut, yeah.
- I'll even nurse you back to health.
- Really? - Mm-hmm.
- I find that amenable of you.
You might want to just not touch me like that
and maybe talk to me in my dad's voice.
Just a deep gravel.
[soft tense music]
♪ ♪
- Uh, listen, I know I screwed up.
So first thing tomorrow morning,
I'm gonna call Taylor,
and I'm gonna beg her to take the whole deal.
I, uh, apologize, Annika.
- Thank you, Andre.
I really appreciate that.
- So we're good? - Yeah, we're good.
- Okay, cool, so, uh, should we order?
What--what's dinner without the food, am I right?
- I'm glad you owned this.
I know I was on one, but what you did--
it really got to me.
You do understand why this is such a big deal to me, right?
- One hundo P, one hundo P, but you know what I would love?
I would love a refill on this water.
Uh, Doug, yo, Do--Do--
- Do you get why this bothered me or not?
- Okay, babe, I'm trying to be a manager now, okay?
So I know that I have to be more direct
and I have to be more assertive.
So, as my client, I'm gonna be up front with you.
You're being a little extra about all this.
- Well, as my boyfriend,
why would you apologize if you didn't mean it?
- Because I know you wanted me to
and because I knew it would make you happy,
and if I'm being honest...
I don't regret what I did with Taylor.
I feel like it was the right move to make in the moment.
- [scoffs] This bullshit again.
You're just threatened by the fact
that I'm a successful influencer,
while you're just some broke entrepreneur.
- Okay, wow.
All right, well, with respect, you're more like a suggester.
- Well, with respect, go to hell, Andre.
♪ ♪
- Annika, I--
Annika, you know I-- [sighs]
♪ ♪
I don't think she meant that with respect.
[door closes] - Hey.
- Hey, what's with all the layers?
You gonna go play a round of paintball?
- Since you can't seem to handle these curves
God gave me,
I'm putting my light under a bushel.
- Wait, so you de-sexified yourself for me?
That is so sexy.
- I brought lunch. Footlong for me...
- Mm. - Boom.
Six-inch for you.
[Mickey & Sylvia's "Love Is Strange"]
- That's cold.
♪ ♪
Eat up.
♪ ♪
You got this.
- No, I don't.
- ♪ Love is strange ♪
- I'm gonna marry into the Burger King monarchy.
I'm gonna kill the Chick-fil-A cow
because I can't screw or marry a cow--that's illegal.
And I think I'd screw Ronald McDonald,
because he gives back.
That's a plus.
- We answered exactly the same.
- ♪ You never wanna quit ♪
- Ooh.
♪ ♪
- One more, one more. - Okay, one more.
- This one's it.
♪ ♪
- [coughing] - Are you okay?
- I'm just kidding.
- ♪ Baby ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪
♪ My sweet... ♪
- Thank you for putting the target sign in the toilet.
100% accuracy.
[both grunting] - Who can aim?
- You, you. - I can aim.
- You, you. - I can aim straight.
- Okay. - I used to aim to the side.
♪ ♪
[sighs] Wow.
- I should get going. - Yeah?
Really? Okay.
Hey, uh, the campus theater is showing
"Apocalypse Now: Extended Redux."
They say it's longer than an actual flight to Vietnam.
So I was thinking maybe we could catch that.
- Well, that sounds fun. - Yeah.
- I mean, not fun, but let's do it.
I'll text you. - All right, cool.
- Okay. - Let me get that.
[soft music]
- Have a good night.
♪ ♪
[chuckles]
♪ ♪
- You're gonna need something stronger than beer.
This one's on the house.
- Well, if that's the case,
then get that shit you need the ladder for,
'cause this is your fault.
- My fault? - Yeah.
- When I told you to fake-apologize to her,
you weren't supposed to tell her you were fake-apologizing.
What's wrong with you? - I couldn't keep lying.
If anything, I should be commended
for telling the truth.
- Look, bro, have you ever considered
that she has a point and you were wrong?
- I don't know. I guess.
[phone buzzing] Maybe.
Or maybe I was right the whole time.
Taylor just emailed me,
and she said that she agrees with the terms.
Wow, if I had a mic...
mmm, I would drop it.
- [stammers, sighs]
[hip-hop music]
- Hey.
- What do you want?
- I know we've been radio silent lately,
but I've got something to show you.
- Is it an apology email?
- Better, much better.
Uh, so the "Social Submarine" gig--
Taylor emailed me back,
and they will be able to meet my demands on your pay.
[chuckles]
Uh, we'll skip the part where I say I told you so,
because that doesn't matter.
All that matters is that you got the gig
and I won the negotiation.
- This is about so much more than the job.
It's about the fact that you don't listen to me.
- [stammers] I-I do listen to you.
- Oh, my God, this is about everything.
You didn't trust me with Drea.
You prioritize everyone else's needs over mine.
And you hear what you want to hear, never what I say.
- Well, I do hear what you say,
but I-I also hear what you don't say.
And, clearly, you just don't believe in me.
♪ ♪
What are we doing?
- Clearly, something between us is broken.
- Can we fix it?
- I don't know if I want to.
I mean, do you?
[soft music]
- So, after all the things that we've been through...
this is how we break up?
♪ ♪
- It's all the things we've been through that got us here.
I'm sorry, Andre.
♪ ♪
- Yeah, me too.
♪ ♪
- While the U.S. Civil War began on April 12, 1861...
- Why are you firing up a documentary on the Civil War?
Shouldn't you be getting ready for your Very Drea Christmas?
- Mm, I decided not to go. You were right.
If I felt the need to lie about it,
it's a red flag, and it's on fire.
I guess I'll just stay here
with the foreign kids and the orphans.
- No, okay? No way.
You are spending the holidays with me.
- Really?
Is your family gonna be okay with that?
- Duh, they'd love to have you.
But I'm just gonna let you know,
my uncle's, like, really curious about lesbians,
so he will be asking you a lot of questions.
- That's just like my uncle. Okay, I'm gonna go pack.
And I will be sure to leave my Birks
and my Ellen tees at home.
- Okay. [door closes]
- Oh, hey. - Hey.
You okay?
- [sighs] I'm all right.
- Sure, yeah, 'cause I'm a guy,
and I don't have, like, any emotions.
- Okay, you want me to tell the truth?
I'm not doing great.
I used to complain to Aaron about Annika
and complain to Annika about Aaron.
Now I have no one to complain about anything.
I know I messed up.
I just--
I thought I was doing what was best for Annika.
It just sucks.
- I'm sorry. I-I know you really liked her.
- She was kind of-- she was kind of right about us.
We just didn't fit together.
She didn't trust or believe in me
to handle her negotiations.
I can't be with someone who doesn't believe in me.
- Well, um, I believe in you.
♪ ♪
Hey, yeah, so, um, you know, I know we're not having,
like, the potluck anymore,
but I do make, like, a mean mac and cheese.
- Mm, okay, no shade,
but if the cheese comes in powdered form,
then it's just mac and cheese product at best.
- All right, you hungry or not?
- I could eat.
It's never easy when something ends.
And in the chaos of it ending,
you look for comfort wherever you can find it,
even if that means highly processed foods.
- You know, between ChatGPT and automatic bidets,
this feels like the end-times.
- Yeah, speaking of end-times, I was supposed to see
"Apocalypse Now" with Edie, but I haven't heard from her.
- Mm, play it cool.
Even if you are thirsty, you act quenched.
- I didn't think we were
in, like, a playing-games-type situation,
You know what I mean? I think I'm just gonna hit her.
- Yeah, Just hit her. - Yeah, I'll do that.
- [exhaling sharply]
Bro? - Yeah, what?
- Look.
[dramatic hip-hop music]
- Oh.
♪ ♪
[laughing]
- That's got to be her brother, right?
♪ ♪
- Maybe her stepbrother.
- I'm gonna see if they serve alcohol to go.
- Yeah, do that.