1 00:00:06,593 --> 00:00:09,593 Whyyyyy?! 2 00:00:09,633 --> 00:00:11,766 My God. 3 00:00:11,801 --> 00:00:14,169 It had only been three days since I left home 4 00:00:14,204 --> 00:00:16,894 and my dad was already 5150. 5 00:00:16,947 --> 00:00:19,148 It hurts so bad! 6 00:00:19,183 --> 00:00:21,217 What hurts so bad, Dad? 7 00:00:21,252 --> 00:00:23,219 My soul! 8 00:00:23,254 --> 00:00:25,254 Dad, stop, seriously. 9 00:00:25,289 --> 00:00:26,989 But you don't understand, Zo-Zo. 10 00:00:27,024 --> 00:00:29,491 The world is a dangerous place now! 11 00:00:29,527 --> 00:00:32,093 College is totally different than when I was coming up. 12 00:00:32,129 --> 00:00:33,862 Okay, dude, you had Freaknik. 13 00:00:33,898 --> 00:00:35,731 ♪ Shake them things, baby ♪ 14 00:00:35,766 --> 00:00:37,332 ♪ Shake them things, baby ♪ 15 00:00:37,367 --> 00:00:39,267 ♪ Shake, shake them things, baby ♪ 16 00:00:39,302 --> 00:00:40,502 ♪ Shake them things, baby ♪ 17 00:00:40,538 --> 00:00:41,503 ♪ Pop, pop ♪... 18 00:00:41,539 --> 00:00:43,071 Lies! 19 00:00:43,106 --> 00:00:44,205 Propaganda! 20 00:00:44,241 --> 00:00:46,141 Freaknik never happened! 21 00:00:46,176 --> 00:00:47,475 Okay, there are YouTube videos, 22 00:00:47,511 --> 00:00:49,877 one of which I'm actually pretty sure you're in. 23 00:00:49,913 --> 00:00:51,579 ♪ Unh, unh, get it, get it ♪ 24 00:00:51,614 --> 00:00:53,281 ♪ Unh, unh, get it, get it ♪ 25 00:00:54,717 --> 00:00:56,918 Okay, it was amazing. 26 00:00:56,953 --> 00:00:59,587 And there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about it. 27 00:00:59,622 --> 00:01:01,255 But I don't want that for you! 28 00:01:01,290 --> 00:01:02,990 Dad, I don't want that for me. 29 00:01:03,026 --> 00:01:04,124 You know, I got to go. 30 00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:05,259 No! No, no, no, no, no. 31 00:01:05,294 --> 00:01:06,727 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 32 00:01:06,763 --> 00:01:09,096 Um, when you come home this weekend, 33 00:01:09,131 --> 00:01:11,231 can we watch "The Breakfast Club" together? 34 00:01:11,267 --> 00:01:13,133 Dad, I'm not coming home this weekend. 35 00:01:13,169 --> 00:01:14,869 Aaaah! 36 00:01:14,904 --> 00:01:16,236 But that's our favorite! 37 00:01:16,272 --> 00:01:19,773 Don't forget about me! 38 00:01:19,808 --> 00:01:22,242 That was the song's one rule. 39 00:01:22,278 --> 00:01:24,744 Bye, Dad. 40 00:01:24,780 --> 00:01:26,113 Three days. 41 00:01:26,148 --> 00:01:28,382 Shell of a man. 42 00:01:28,417 --> 00:01:32,052 ♪ Watch out, world, I'm grown now ♪ 43 00:01:32,088 --> 00:01:33,720 ♪ I'm grown ♪ 44 00:01:33,755 --> 00:01:36,089 ♪ Learn something new every day ♪ 45 00:01:36,124 --> 00:01:38,792 ♪ I don't know know, so I'ma feel my way ♪ 46 00:01:38,827 --> 00:01:41,394 ♪ Got the weight of the world on me ♪ 47 00:01:41,429 --> 00:01:44,397 ♪ But no regrets, this is what I say ♪ 48 00:01:44,432 --> 00:01:48,201 ♪ Watch out world, I'm grown now ♪ 49 00:01:48,236 --> 00:01:49,868 - ♪ I'm grown ♪ - ♪ You can tell me ♪ 50 00:01:49,904 --> 00:01:55,108 ♪ My heart beating so loud ♪ 51 00:01:55,143 --> 00:01:58,777 ♪ Mama, look, I'm grown now ♪ 52 00:01:58,813 --> 00:02:01,514 ♪ I'm grown ♪ 53 00:02:05,587 --> 00:02:07,319 I'd been in college for three days, 54 00:02:07,354 --> 00:02:09,221 and at that moment, there was no way 55 00:02:09,256 --> 00:02:11,757 my dad or anyone couldn't have told me that 56 00:02:11,792 --> 00:02:14,526 I didn't already know everything I needed to know 57 00:02:14,561 --> 00:02:16,328 to completely master this place 58 00:02:16,363 --> 00:02:17,863 the same way I had in high school. 59 00:02:19,066 --> 00:02:20,465 I knew it all. 60 00:02:20,501 --> 00:02:23,268 I knew that Ronald J. Winthrop was our school founder, 61 00:02:23,303 --> 00:02:27,139 and that he dabbled in slavery. 62 00:02:27,174 --> 00:02:30,442 I knew that the Cal U basketball team of 1958 63 00:02:30,477 --> 00:02:34,312 would get bodied by the Cal U basketball team today. 64 00:02:34,348 --> 00:02:36,681 I knew that this was the women's bathroom 65 00:02:36,716 --> 00:02:39,951 and also the men's bathroom. 66 00:02:39,986 --> 00:02:43,121 I knew this was the campus hot spot... 67 00:02:43,156 --> 00:02:46,557 this was the campus lame spot... 68 00:02:46,592 --> 00:02:48,960 and this was the campus dead spot. 69 00:02:48,995 --> 00:02:49,961 Hold on, Mom! 70 00:02:49,996 --> 00:02:52,496 Did you say Dad was gay or game? 71 00:02:52,532 --> 00:02:54,231 Gay or game? 72 00:02:54,267 --> 00:02:55,232 Hello? 73 00:02:55,268 --> 00:02:58,502 Damn it, Mom! Hello?! 74 00:02:58,538 --> 00:03:00,638 Ugh, hey. 75 00:03:00,673 --> 00:03:02,673 This reception is... 76 00:03:05,144 --> 00:03:07,878 But the one thing I didn't know about college, 77 00:03:07,913 --> 00:03:10,847 that I'd never admit to my dad or anybody else, 78 00:03:10,883 --> 00:03:12,749 was that in all actuality, 79 00:03:12,785 --> 00:03:16,286 I would soon discover that I didn't know anything. 80 00:03:19,457 --> 00:03:22,559 Which was obvious because I was enrolled in a midnight class 81 00:03:22,594 --> 00:03:26,296 that no one in their right mind would ever want to be in. 82 00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:37,440 And I especially didn't know that 83 00:03:37,475 --> 00:03:40,376 the same film my dad begged me to watch this weekend, 84 00:03:40,412 --> 00:03:43,346 the same film that ignited our father-daughter bond, 85 00:03:43,381 --> 00:03:46,315 the film that taught me how to apply lipstick with my boobs, 86 00:03:46,350 --> 00:03:50,252 would be way closer to my real life than I ever knew. 87 00:03:50,287 --> 00:03:52,354 Good evening, everyone. 88 00:03:52,389 --> 00:03:56,291 If you're here for the Digital Marketing Strategies class, 89 00:03:56,327 --> 00:03:58,360 you've come to the correct place. 90 00:03:58,395 --> 00:04:00,662 If you're here to inquire about the listing for 91 00:04:00,698 --> 00:04:02,063 a mixed-breed litter of 92 00:04:02,099 --> 00:04:05,300 premature breech terrier puppies... 93 00:04:06,704 --> 00:04:08,537 You've also come to the correct place. 94 00:04:11,175 --> 00:04:14,243 I am Professor Dr. Charles Telphy. 95 00:04:14,278 --> 00:04:16,077 Okay, freeze. 96 00:04:16,113 --> 00:04:17,779 First of all, he's not a doctor, 97 00:04:17,814 --> 00:04:19,547 and the fact that he's a professor 98 00:04:19,582 --> 00:04:21,716 totally blows my mind. 99 00:04:21,752 --> 00:04:24,518 I knew Charlie as the weird guy my dad works with. 100 00:04:24,554 --> 00:04:28,723 All we got to do is plant some cocaine in her desk. 101 00:04:28,759 --> 00:04:30,324 I'm pregnant and I hate you! 102 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:32,630 Okay. 103 00:04:34,131 --> 00:04:36,697 Somehow, he's managed to keep his day job 104 00:04:36,733 --> 00:04:38,098 while teaching this class. 105 00:04:38,134 --> 00:04:40,668 As adjunct professor for the midnight-to-2:00-AM 106 00:04:40,703 --> 00:04:42,370 "after-night-school" program, 107 00:04:42,405 --> 00:04:46,006 I welcome you to a unique, new educational frontier. 108 00:04:46,041 --> 00:04:48,442 Most of our jobs don't allow us to 109 00:04:48,478 --> 00:04:50,278 go to school during normal hours. 110 00:04:50,313 --> 00:04:52,946 Whores. 111 00:04:52,982 --> 00:04:54,815 But the daylight belongs to the meek. 112 00:04:54,850 --> 00:04:56,316 The bold own the night. 113 00:04:56,351 --> 00:04:58,085 And with it, the future. 114 00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:00,520 We're just into tomorrow before anyone else. 115 00:05:02,925 --> 00:05:04,124 Do you hear that? 116 00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:06,393 That's tomorrow happening today. 117 00:05:06,428 --> 00:05:08,728 Now, this syllabus right here 118 00:05:08,764 --> 00:05:11,564 is gonna break down the entire course 119 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:15,034 starting with week one... drones. 120 00:05:15,069 --> 00:05:17,837 Week two, drones from the past. 121 00:05:17,872 --> 00:05:20,206 Week three, drones of the future. 122 00:05:20,241 --> 00:05:23,042 Basically, this will be an all-drones class. 123 00:05:23,077 --> 00:05:25,278 - Why? - 'Cause they arose me. 124 00:05:28,349 --> 00:05:30,649 So, just like "The Breakfast Club," 125 00:05:30,685 --> 00:05:32,919 these six losers who I normally 126 00:05:32,954 --> 00:05:35,721 never would have even spoken to, 127 00:05:35,756 --> 00:05:39,058 would not only become my friends, 128 00:05:39,093 --> 00:05:41,893 but some of the closest people to me in my life. 129 00:05:46,367 --> 00:05:48,667 Like Nomi... she's my boo. 130 00:05:48,703 --> 00:05:51,069 What the [Bleep] are you looking at? 131 00:05:51,104 --> 00:05:54,406 But it didn't exactly start off that way. 132 00:05:54,442 --> 00:05:58,376 See, Nomi wasn't your typical Jewish-American princess. 133 00:05:58,411 --> 00:06:01,146 In fact, she wasn't your typical anything. 134 00:06:01,181 --> 00:06:03,681 She liked Rottweilers 135 00:06:03,717 --> 00:06:07,018 and moshing at Swedish death-metal concerts. 136 00:06:07,054 --> 00:06:09,120 She was a liberated woman 137 00:06:09,156 --> 00:06:11,589 who didn't conform to the boundaries or laws 138 00:06:11,624 --> 00:06:14,058 that her family, society, 139 00:06:14,093 --> 00:06:17,395 or 49 of the 50 states deemed acceptable. 140 00:06:17,430 --> 00:06:19,129 And then there were these two. 141 00:06:19,165 --> 00:06:20,998 Hey, I'm Jazlyn! She's Skyler. 142 00:06:21,033 --> 00:06:22,066 Are you guys... 143 00:06:22,101 --> 00:06:23,868 - Twins? - Totally. 144 00:06:23,903 --> 00:06:26,103 B.T. Dubs, your hair is everything. 145 00:06:26,138 --> 00:06:28,506 Despite their Simi Valley accent, 146 00:06:28,541 --> 00:06:31,008 the twins from Tyler Perry's "The Shining" 147 00:06:31,043 --> 00:06:32,676 were actually from the hood. 148 00:06:32,711 --> 00:06:35,645 They were also Cal U's hottest track recruits, 149 00:06:35,681 --> 00:06:37,848 which meant they were judged about everything, 150 00:06:37,884 --> 00:06:39,950 just like the young, Black, female athletes 151 00:06:39,986 --> 00:06:42,319 who came before them were scrutinized about 152 00:06:42,355 --> 00:06:46,823 their speed, their bodies, even their edges. 153 00:06:46,859 --> 00:06:50,059 But America's darlings were a far cry from this guy, 154 00:06:50,095 --> 00:06:52,061 who had a different opinion about America. 155 00:06:52,097 --> 00:06:54,564 This one's "Black Lives Matter," I got "I Can't Breathe," 156 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:57,066 "Michelle 2020," "Justice for Kalief Browder," 157 00:06:57,102 --> 00:06:58,802 and "Free Assata Shakur." 158 00:06:58,837 --> 00:07:02,038 Oh, and what's the bracelet for? 159 00:07:02,073 --> 00:07:04,607 Um, that just... 160 00:07:04,642 --> 00:07:07,043 lets the EMTs know that I have a peanut allergy. 161 00:07:07,078 --> 00:07:09,612 Aaron and I met during freshman orientation. 162 00:07:09,647 --> 00:07:13,582 He was a super-hot sophomore with a bunch of forearm tattoos 163 00:07:13,618 --> 00:07:17,887 who somehow, against all odds, made a ducktail work. 164 00:07:17,923 --> 00:07:21,023 Seriously, that should not work, right? 165 00:07:21,058 --> 00:07:23,225 But questionable hair choices aside, 166 00:07:23,260 --> 00:07:25,461 he had big plans to change the world. 167 00:07:25,496 --> 00:07:28,230 Um, BSU's protesting the fact that Cal U 168 00:07:28,265 --> 00:07:31,099 is changing the blackboards to whiteboards. 169 00:07:31,135 --> 00:07:32,134 Why would they do that? 170 00:07:32,169 --> 00:07:33,969 Here we go. 171 00:07:34,004 --> 00:07:35,103 This dude. 172 00:07:35,139 --> 00:07:36,905 Uh, is, uh, something funny, bro? 173 00:07:36,941 --> 00:07:38,206 Nah, we get it. 174 00:07:38,242 --> 00:07:40,375 You're, um, "woke." 175 00:07:40,411 --> 00:07:42,710 Baby Basquiat over here is Luca, 176 00:07:42,746 --> 00:07:46,048 the only freshman fly enough to rock the same skirt as me 177 00:07:46,083 --> 00:07:48,016 and make me think about changing. 178 00:07:48,052 --> 00:07:49,952 But not everyone was a fan. 179 00:07:49,987 --> 00:07:52,054 Okay, my bad for caring about the culture. 180 00:07:52,089 --> 00:07:53,254 Maybe I should be more like you 181 00:07:53,289 --> 00:07:55,089 and spend all my free time ring shopping. 182 00:07:55,124 --> 00:07:57,224 But then when would you have time to look for buttons? 183 00:07:57,260 --> 00:07:58,827 Dude, would you keep it down? 184 00:07:58,862 --> 00:08:00,628 This isn't the Magic Johnson Theatre. 185 00:08:04,367 --> 00:08:06,534 But it'd be cool if it were. 186 00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:08,536 He's a community entrepreneur. 187 00:08:08,572 --> 00:08:12,206 So that dude who was about to get "World Starred" was Vivek, 188 00:08:12,241 --> 00:08:14,541 a first-generation Gujarati Indian 189 00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:17,011 born to a devoutly Hindu family. 190 00:08:17,046 --> 00:08:20,448 He was a straight-A student and a National Merit Scholar, 191 00:08:20,483 --> 00:08:21,815 and he had big dreams 192 00:08:21,851 --> 00:08:24,151 of following in the footsteps of his hero. 193 00:08:24,187 --> 00:08:26,019 No, not him. 194 00:08:26,054 --> 00:08:28,321 And thank God not him. 195 00:08:28,357 --> 00:08:29,456 Him. 196 00:08:39,067 --> 00:08:42,268 So, I'm pretty sure you're wondering how a girl like me, 197 00:08:42,304 --> 00:08:45,472 with perfectly threaded eyebrows and J.Law-level charm 198 00:08:45,507 --> 00:08:47,207 wound up in a midnight class 199 00:08:47,242 --> 00:08:49,275 full of puppies and meth addicts. 200 00:08:49,311 --> 00:08:51,777 Well, you weren't the only one. 201 00:08:51,813 --> 00:08:54,780 Uh, apparently some people in the administration 202 00:08:54,816 --> 00:08:58,485 are scrutinizing over the legitimacy of this class. 203 00:09:06,460 --> 00:09:08,694 Crazy, right? 204 00:09:08,730 --> 00:09:11,263 So, a survey will be going around. 205 00:09:11,298 --> 00:09:14,000 Per protocol, I have to step out. 206 00:09:14,035 --> 00:09:15,934 Feel free to talk amongst yourselves 207 00:09:15,969 --> 00:09:19,204 why you wanted to enroll in this class. 208 00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:21,907 And it would be greatly appreciated 209 00:09:21,942 --> 00:09:24,443 if you leave out any mention of breech terrier puppies 210 00:09:24,478 --> 00:09:27,179 that may or may not actually be coyotes. 211 00:09:27,214 --> 00:09:28,947 Well, I know why I'm here. 212 00:09:28,982 --> 00:09:31,216 I enjoy taking classes taught by Black professors. 213 00:09:31,252 --> 00:09:33,618 Unfortunately, he's one of them. 214 00:09:33,654 --> 00:09:36,755 But you... why... why are you here? 215 00:09:39,826 --> 00:09:41,860 Oh, no! 216 00:09:45,465 --> 00:09:47,331 Uh. 217 00:09:47,367 --> 00:09:48,732 Why am I here? 218 00:09:48,768 --> 00:09:50,435 - Yeah. - Well, psht! 219 00:09:50,470 --> 00:09:52,537 Drones. I love 'em. 220 00:09:52,572 --> 00:09:54,038 This dude. 221 00:09:54,074 --> 00:09:55,306 Am I right? 222 00:09:55,341 --> 00:09:56,874 All the buttons? 223 00:09:56,909 --> 00:09:58,076 Sure. 224 00:10:04,651 --> 00:10:06,218 All right, so I'm not gonna lie, 225 00:10:06,253 --> 00:10:08,620 I'm not in this class because I love drones. 226 00:10:08,655 --> 00:10:10,622 Although they are pretty cool. 227 00:10:10,657 --> 00:10:13,425 It's like we gave a bunch of cameras to birds. 228 00:10:13,460 --> 00:10:15,059 But again, not why I'm here, 229 00:10:15,094 --> 00:10:17,362 and I'm not about to put my business on blast 230 00:10:17,397 --> 00:10:20,632 to these six randos who I'm stuck in drone class with. 231 00:10:20,667 --> 00:10:22,701 Well, I can't put the real reason I'm in here. 232 00:10:22,736 --> 00:10:25,169 My uncle reads this. 233 00:10:25,205 --> 00:10:29,106 You know, Nomi, Cal U is where I met your second aunt. 234 00:10:29,142 --> 00:10:31,709 Was she the one you lost to Hedonism II? 235 00:10:31,744 --> 00:10:33,311 Yeah. 236 00:10:33,346 --> 00:10:35,512 The rippin' and the tearin'. 237 00:10:35,548 --> 00:10:37,748 The rippin' and the tearin'. 238 00:10:37,783 --> 00:10:40,484 Nomi's uncle was Bert Parker, the Dean of Students, 239 00:10:40,519 --> 00:10:42,954 and despite his eight failed marriages, 240 00:10:42,989 --> 00:10:44,956 he seemed oddly more preoccupied 241 00:10:44,991 --> 00:10:46,490 with Nomi finding the right guy 242 00:10:46,525 --> 00:10:48,225 than her finding the right class. 243 00:10:48,260 --> 00:10:49,926 Perhaps you'll find love here, too. 244 00:10:49,962 --> 00:10:51,362 Mm, hot tip, 245 00:10:51,397 --> 00:10:53,697 most of the young, eligible Jewish guys... 246 00:10:53,733 --> 00:10:55,198 - Yeah? - ...hang out right over there. 247 00:10:55,234 --> 00:10:58,235 We call that area "Little Boca." 248 00:11:01,139 --> 00:11:05,976 But unbeknownst to anyone in her family... 249 00:11:06,011 --> 00:11:08,945 Nomi and her newfound sexual freedom 250 00:11:08,981 --> 00:11:10,446 had other things in mind. 251 00:11:10,482 --> 00:11:12,515 You know, I really have to go to the bathroom. 252 00:11:12,550 --> 00:11:14,251 I had, like, some questionable sushi. 253 00:11:14,286 --> 00:11:15,651 - Oh. - I'll be back. 254 00:11:15,687 --> 00:11:16,652 Okay. 255 00:11:16,688 --> 00:11:18,755 Oh! 256 00:11:21,380 --> 00:11:22,425 _ 257 00:11:22,460 --> 00:11:26,396 So, I should just, uh, put "drones," right? 258 00:11:26,431 --> 00:11:28,063 - Yeah, definitely, definitely. - Okay. 259 00:11:28,099 --> 00:11:30,966 - Just a drone situation. - Yeah. 260 00:11:31,002 --> 00:11:32,602 I think I might be a "drone" guy, too. 261 00:11:32,637 --> 00:11:35,538 Yes, Mummi, I've signed up for the statistics club. 262 00:11:35,573 --> 00:11:37,139 Thank Auntie Beena for the Ganesh statue. 263 00:11:37,174 --> 00:11:38,673 It got here in one piece. 264 00:11:38,709 --> 00:11:41,076 And tell Puppa-Ji I'll call him tonight to go over my classes, 265 00:11:41,112 --> 00:11:43,012 and before you ask, they're all S.T.E.M.... 266 00:11:43,047 --> 00:11:45,814 no arts, no humanities, no physical activities. 267 00:11:45,849 --> 00:11:48,517 Yo, Vivek! 268 00:11:48,552 --> 00:11:49,985 Mom, let me call you back. 269 00:11:50,021 --> 00:11:51,753 I just saw some of my engineering friends. 270 00:11:51,789 --> 00:11:54,155 Those were not his engineering friends. 271 00:11:54,190 --> 00:11:56,458 I got Molly, I got Oxy, I got Roxy. 272 00:11:56,493 --> 00:11:58,693 I got Xanies, I got Percs, I got Addies. 273 00:11:58,729 --> 00:12:00,695 And this... 274 00:12:00,731 --> 00:12:02,597 This is a really strong decongestant. 275 00:12:02,633 --> 00:12:04,232 So, Vivek grew up poor. 276 00:12:04,267 --> 00:12:06,334 His parents wanted him to be an engineer, 277 00:12:06,369 --> 00:12:07,803 and he did too, 278 00:12:07,838 --> 00:12:11,973 but he wasn't willing to wait eight years to ball out. 279 00:12:14,710 --> 00:12:15,843 A drug dealer? 280 00:12:15,878 --> 00:12:18,379 Hey, I'm not a drug dealer. 281 00:12:18,415 --> 00:12:20,181 I just get pills at a lesser price from a guy 282 00:12:20,216 --> 00:12:22,083 and sell them at a markup. 283 00:12:22,118 --> 00:12:23,717 I mean, it's not like I'm gonna shoot you or anything. 284 00:12:24,854 --> 00:12:26,053 Unless you don't pay, 285 00:12:26,088 --> 00:12:27,521 then my boy Lil' Puppet will definitely do it. 286 00:12:27,557 --> 00:12:29,990 Oh, my God, I'm totally a drug dealer. 287 00:12:30,025 --> 00:12:31,224 Yeah. 288 00:12:31,260 --> 00:12:32,660 Lil' Puppet? 289 00:12:34,330 --> 00:12:35,596 Oh, well. 290 00:12:35,631 --> 00:12:37,030 So I'm assuming you guys are putting "drones" too? 291 00:12:37,066 --> 00:12:39,433 - Uh... - Um... 292 00:12:39,469 --> 00:12:43,136 You know those picture-perfect Sports Illustrated cover girls? 293 00:12:43,172 --> 00:12:44,371 Hello, girls. 294 00:12:44,406 --> 00:12:45,772 Hey, Dean Parker. 295 00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:47,907 Well, don't judge a magazine by the cover. 296 00:12:47,943 --> 00:12:49,376 What is your bum-ass problem, girl? 297 00:12:49,411 --> 00:12:51,244 Make up your damn mind, already. 298 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:52,346 Excuse me? 299 00:12:52,381 --> 00:12:54,581 Which class can I take without you in it? 300 00:12:54,616 --> 00:12:56,416 Anything at UCLA. 301 00:12:56,452 --> 00:12:58,618 Bye, bitch. 302 00:12:58,653 --> 00:13:00,186 Ugh! 303 00:13:02,724 --> 00:13:05,825 Yep, under those smiles, that's who they really were. 304 00:13:05,861 --> 00:13:07,961 But as their father always drilled into them, 305 00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:10,129 no one wants two ratchet-ass girls 306 00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:12,031 on the front of a cereal box. 307 00:13:12,066 --> 00:13:14,266 Kind of disagree with your pops. 308 00:13:14,302 --> 00:13:16,902 That might actually bring Wheaties back. 309 00:13:16,937 --> 00:13:17,936 Whatever, dude. 310 00:13:17,972 --> 00:13:19,671 Are you putting down "drones" or not? 311 00:13:19,707 --> 00:13:22,508 Nah, I'm just gonna put down that I don't really care. 312 00:13:32,452 --> 00:13:35,086 Wow, so you still smoke cigarettes? 313 00:13:35,122 --> 00:13:37,489 So you, like, really don't care? 314 00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:38,891 I don't. 315 00:13:38,926 --> 00:13:41,693 So, are you gonna tell us what's behind your drone story or what? 316 00:13:44,031 --> 00:13:45,864 These six weirdos just bared their soul 317 00:13:45,900 --> 00:13:47,799 and everyone seems cool with their truth. 318 00:13:47,835 --> 00:13:49,767 So, why can't I? 319 00:13:49,802 --> 00:13:52,437 All right, guys, so I got to be honest. 320 00:13:52,472 --> 00:13:53,771 I don't love drones. 321 00:13:53,806 --> 00:13:55,773 I mean, I do, it's how we caught Bin Laden, 322 00:13:55,808 --> 00:13:56,807 but not why I'm here. 323 00:13:56,843 --> 00:13:58,343 Okay, so this is what happened. 324 00:13:58,378 --> 00:14:00,345 It was the day before registration, 325 00:14:00,380 --> 00:14:02,047 and I was at the coffee shop... 326 00:14:02,082 --> 00:14:03,681 Who got the venti black iced tea, 327 00:14:03,716 --> 00:14:06,250 extra water, extra ice, 12 pumps classic sweetener? 328 00:14:06,285 --> 00:14:07,985 - Oh, right here. - That's me. 329 00:14:08,021 --> 00:14:09,620 Analisa Patricia Torres 330 00:14:09,656 --> 00:14:12,023 was born in Miami to Cuban immigrants. 331 00:14:13,693 --> 00:14:15,392 She was a devout Catholic 332 00:14:15,428 --> 00:14:18,128 and an even more devout Republican... 333 00:14:18,164 --> 00:14:20,364 with a secret shame. 334 00:14:22,668 --> 00:14:24,435 So, Ana and I hit it off immediately. 335 00:14:24,470 --> 00:14:25,536 We had a ton in common. 336 00:14:25,571 --> 00:14:27,204 I mean, we're both freshman, 337 00:14:27,239 --> 00:14:29,339 she loved my hair, I love that she loved my hair. 338 00:14:29,375 --> 00:14:30,507 How could you not? 339 00:14:30,543 --> 00:14:32,543 And everything just got better from there. 340 00:14:35,147 --> 00:14:36,780 Some older girls I knew from high school 341 00:14:36,815 --> 00:14:38,281 invited me to a party. 342 00:14:38,316 --> 00:14:39,482 I brought Ana with me 343 00:14:39,517 --> 00:14:41,618 because she was my first college friend. 344 00:14:41,653 --> 00:14:44,253 This is, like, a real party. 345 00:14:44,289 --> 00:14:45,555 Yeah. 346 00:14:45,591 --> 00:14:47,523 Oh, God. I'm nervous. 347 00:14:47,559 --> 00:14:49,225 No. No, don't worry. 348 00:14:49,260 --> 00:14:51,928 I got you, Ana. Just be cool. 349 00:14:51,964 --> 00:14:53,129 Okay, you're right. 350 00:14:53,164 --> 00:14:54,730 Just be cool, Analisa. 351 00:14:54,765 --> 00:14:57,333 Oh, my God, I'm so excited I think I got to poop. 352 00:14:57,368 --> 00:14:59,202 - Oh. - Hey, Zoey. 353 00:14:59,237 --> 00:15:00,603 Hi! 354 00:15:00,638 --> 00:15:02,004 Who wants Cîroc gummies? 355 00:15:04,275 --> 00:15:05,774 And the next thing you know, 356 00:15:05,810 --> 00:15:08,677 me and Ana were at our first college day party. 357 00:15:23,260 --> 00:15:25,360 The party was amazing. 358 00:15:25,395 --> 00:15:27,829 I mean, I was trying to get Ana to slow her roll, 359 00:15:27,864 --> 00:15:29,331 and she wasn't having it, 360 00:15:29,366 --> 00:15:31,466 but things between us were going great. 361 00:15:34,904 --> 00:15:37,239 Until they weren't. 362 00:15:37,274 --> 00:15:39,174 Oh, no! 363 00:15:39,209 --> 00:15:41,443 - Dude. - That's messed up. 364 00:15:43,413 --> 00:15:45,647 This situation just got whack. 365 00:15:45,682 --> 00:15:47,248 We should hit up another party. 366 00:15:49,252 --> 00:15:50,618 Zoey! 367 00:15:50,654 --> 00:15:53,487 You coming, Zoey? 368 00:15:59,062 --> 00:16:00,894 Where are you going? 369 00:16:05,217 --> 00:16:08,624 _ 370 00:16:24,987 --> 00:16:26,853 Hoo! So there it is. 371 00:16:26,889 --> 00:16:28,188 The truth. 372 00:16:28,223 --> 00:16:29,622 This kind of felt good. 373 00:16:29,658 --> 00:16:31,892 It's a relief to say it out loud, you know? 374 00:16:31,927 --> 00:16:33,493 Get it off your chest. 375 00:16:33,528 --> 00:16:36,396 Hey, let's go get some freakin' French toast. 376 00:16:36,431 --> 00:16:37,530 Get it? 377 00:16:37,566 --> 00:16:38,798 It's like a reference to... 378 00:16:41,769 --> 00:16:43,269 Yeah? 379 00:16:43,305 --> 00:16:46,206 Dude, you are a monster. 380 00:16:48,076 --> 00:16:49,642 Yeah. 381 00:16:49,678 --> 00:16:50,976 Yeah. 382 00:16:56,550 --> 00:16:59,051 Should've just put down "drones." 383 00:17:01,467 --> 00:17:04,310 Aaron was right. I was a monster. 384 00:17:04,370 --> 00:17:07,358 I'd bailed on another girl when she needed me most. 385 00:17:07,398 --> 00:17:09,298 I was a terrible person. 386 00:17:09,333 --> 00:17:11,558 Hey, listen. Don't worry about it, okay? 387 00:17:11,584 --> 00:17:14,324 I mean, haven't we all done something like that before? 388 00:17:14,357 --> 00:17:15,723 You have? 389 00:17:15,758 --> 00:17:16,990 Who, me? 390 00:17:17,026 --> 00:17:18,258 Oh, no. God, no. 391 00:17:18,294 --> 00:17:19,559 I mean, not like that. 392 00:17:19,594 --> 00:17:22,996 That was some East African genocidal warlord shit. 393 00:17:23,032 --> 00:17:24,231 Mm-hmm. 394 00:17:24,266 --> 00:17:26,834 Oh. 395 00:17:26,869 --> 00:17:29,469 Wait, I could've sworn you were trying to make her feel better. 396 00:17:29,504 --> 00:17:31,504 Yeah, that's where I thought things were heading. 397 00:17:31,540 --> 00:17:33,373 But I don't deserve to feel better 398 00:17:33,408 --> 00:17:35,475 because I should've helped Ana. 399 00:17:35,510 --> 00:17:37,009 Yeah, but you didn't. Why? 400 00:17:37,045 --> 00:17:40,213 Well, because I was a freshman at an upperclassmen party, 401 00:17:40,248 --> 00:17:43,249 and there were hot guys everywhere, and... 402 00:17:43,284 --> 00:17:44,917 You know, I-I just wondered what... 403 00:17:44,953 --> 00:17:47,086 what people would think of me. 404 00:17:47,121 --> 00:17:49,856 Yeah, I get that, but why? 405 00:17:49,891 --> 00:17:51,623 What do you mean, "Why?" 406 00:17:51,659 --> 00:17:53,125 Because people's opinions matter. 407 00:17:53,161 --> 00:17:54,626 - Yeah, but why? - Well, I mean, bec... 408 00:17:54,662 --> 00:17:57,629 These don't feel like questions any logical human has to answer. 409 00:17:57,665 --> 00:18:00,900 Caring what people think is me and Jazz's whole life. 410 00:18:00,935 --> 00:18:02,701 It's why we live this fake-ass front. 411 00:18:02,737 --> 00:18:04,570 Yeah. If we don't make it, 412 00:18:04,605 --> 00:18:05,971 we end up back in the hood, 413 00:18:06,006 --> 00:18:08,073 jerking off some guy who sells incense and tube socks 414 00:18:08,108 --> 00:18:09,875 behind the donut shop. 415 00:18:09,910 --> 00:18:11,009 - Like... - Whoa. 416 00:18:11,044 --> 00:18:13,078 Okay. 417 00:18:13,113 --> 00:18:14,613 I totally feel like you guys 418 00:18:14,648 --> 00:18:17,449 just skipped over multiple steps on your spiral down. 419 00:18:17,485 --> 00:18:19,585 - Yeah. - If we go back home, 420 00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:21,754 we're not just failures to ourselves. 421 00:18:21,789 --> 00:18:23,521 We've let everybody down. 422 00:18:23,556 --> 00:18:24,789 We're losers. 423 00:18:24,824 --> 00:18:26,758 Total disappointments. 424 00:18:28,828 --> 00:18:31,462 I mean, there's jobs at the post office. 425 00:18:31,498 --> 00:18:34,599 The DMV, personal trainer, those sign-turning guys. 426 00:18:34,634 --> 00:18:37,735 I just feel like there's a couple other options 427 00:18:37,771 --> 00:18:41,572 before, you know, the donut-shop situation. 428 00:18:41,608 --> 00:18:45,476 I totally get not wanting to be a disappointment. 429 00:18:45,512 --> 00:18:50,782 Why do you guys think I haven't come out to my family yet? 430 00:18:50,817 --> 00:18:53,818 I mean, like, would they still love me? Sure. 431 00:18:53,853 --> 00:18:55,452 But would they look at me differently? 432 00:18:55,487 --> 00:18:57,087 I don't know, and I don't want to know. 433 00:18:57,123 --> 00:18:59,756 I just... I want to be their daughter, 434 00:18:59,792 --> 00:19:03,593 not their bisexual daughter. 435 00:19:03,629 --> 00:19:05,095 You got to live your life out loud 436 00:19:05,131 --> 00:19:06,830 or else you'll end up like my dad. 437 00:19:06,865 --> 00:19:09,934 Your dad's a closeted bisexual? 438 00:19:09,969 --> 00:19:12,402 Worse, he's a bum. 439 00:19:12,438 --> 00:19:14,871 Ah, that's messed up. 440 00:19:14,907 --> 00:19:17,206 My guy, when's the last time you've seen him? 441 00:19:17,242 --> 00:19:19,543 I don't know, in person? 442 00:19:19,578 --> 00:19:22,546 Last week when he dropped me off. 443 00:19:22,581 --> 00:19:24,347 We Skyped this morning about our Catalina trip. 444 00:19:26,217 --> 00:19:27,818 Wait, you Skyped? 445 00:19:27,853 --> 00:19:28,884 Oh, my God, is he one of those 446 00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:30,653 homeless dudes with a cellphone? 447 00:19:30,688 --> 00:19:32,922 That drives me crazy. 448 00:19:32,958 --> 00:19:34,324 - Me too. - W-What? No. 449 00:19:34,359 --> 00:19:37,126 W-Well, then what is it, bro? 450 00:19:37,162 --> 00:19:40,696 Is he a... he's an alcoholic, he's on drugs, what's up? 451 00:19:40,731 --> 00:19:42,598 He's a [Bleep] cab driver. 452 00:19:44,469 --> 00:19:46,902 A cab driver... who beats your mom? 453 00:19:46,938 --> 00:19:49,204 No, he worships my mom. 454 00:19:49,239 --> 00:19:51,707 Okay, so, like, in Hindi, does "bum" mean, like, 455 00:19:51,742 --> 00:19:53,241 a present and supportive father? 456 00:19:53,277 --> 00:19:55,310 - Mm. That's got to be what it is. - Yeah. Totally. 457 00:19:55,346 --> 00:19:56,712 He's a bum because he never tried. 458 00:19:56,747 --> 00:19:57,947 He's a smart guy, 459 00:19:57,982 --> 00:19:59,748 but he's been driving that stupid cab for 35 years. 460 00:19:59,784 --> 00:20:01,716 Dude's got no ambition. 461 00:20:01,751 --> 00:20:06,088 You mean, other than fleeing a third-world country? 462 00:20:06,123 --> 00:20:09,458 Developing a high-level understanding of English? 463 00:20:09,493 --> 00:20:11,159 Loving his wife? 464 00:20:11,195 --> 00:20:13,761 And putting his son through college? 465 00:20:18,001 --> 00:20:19,801 Dude's a bum. 466 00:20:19,836 --> 00:20:22,169 I'm a bad person. 467 00:20:22,205 --> 00:20:24,138 - Huh? - She said she was a bad person. 468 00:20:24,173 --> 00:20:26,007 Yeah, I heard what she said. Thank you. 469 00:20:26,042 --> 00:20:27,509 I want to know why she said it. 470 00:20:27,544 --> 00:20:29,711 Probably 'cause she thinks she's not a good person. 471 00:20:29,746 --> 00:20:31,112 I don't remember talking to you, bro. 472 00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:32,413 Why don't you just shut the... 473 00:20:32,448 --> 00:20:33,548 How about you... 474 00:20:33,583 --> 00:20:35,849 - Hey, you guys. - You're always talking. 475 00:20:35,885 --> 00:20:37,201 - You guys. - Flat-top head. 476 00:20:37,241 --> 00:20:38,585 No, 'cause he's always doing that. 477 00:20:38,621 --> 00:20:40,787 - Chill out. - No, he's a... 478 00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:43,057 Hey. Hey. 479 00:20:43,092 --> 00:20:44,858 I'm sorry. 480 00:20:44,894 --> 00:20:46,460 You all right? 481 00:20:46,496 --> 00:20:50,097 I don't know why, but at that moment, something came over me. 482 00:20:50,133 --> 00:20:52,900 Maybe it was hearing Vivek talk about his dad, 483 00:20:52,935 --> 00:20:56,169 or Nomi being honest about her sexuality, 484 00:20:56,204 --> 00:20:57,538 or maybe it was just because 485 00:20:57,573 --> 00:20:59,907 I'd done such a shitty thing to Ana, 486 00:20:59,942 --> 00:21:03,043 but I felt compelled to keep opening up. 487 00:21:03,078 --> 00:21:05,278 I realized that the first time I was out on my own, 488 00:21:05,313 --> 00:21:07,880 the first chance to make my own decision, 489 00:21:07,916 --> 00:21:09,682 I made the wrong one, 490 00:21:09,717 --> 00:21:11,451 and I had done it so easily. 491 00:21:11,486 --> 00:21:13,186 What did that say about me? 492 00:21:13,221 --> 00:21:15,422 Was that the person I really was? 493 00:21:15,457 --> 00:21:17,257 The thought of that scared me, 494 00:21:17,292 --> 00:21:19,325 but I wasn't alone in my feeling. 495 00:21:19,361 --> 00:21:21,127 We were all scared. 496 00:21:24,632 --> 00:21:26,599 One by one, I looked around 497 00:21:26,634 --> 00:21:29,635 and saw a group of strangers with nothing in common 498 00:21:29,671 --> 00:21:32,572 look at each other and see their truest selves 499 00:21:32,607 --> 00:21:35,507 reflected in the eyes of people they would soon call family. 500 00:21:38,379 --> 00:21:40,645 In fact, the more we cried, 501 00:21:40,681 --> 00:21:42,448 the more we realized exactly why 502 00:21:42,483 --> 00:21:45,284 we all had stumbled into this crazy class, 503 00:21:45,319 --> 00:21:48,653 and it wasn't drones. 504 00:21:53,260 --> 00:21:56,095 Dear Professor Dr. Telphy, 505 00:21:56,130 --> 00:21:59,297 you asked us to write down why we're taking this class, 506 00:21:59,332 --> 00:22:02,333 and the honest truth is we're scared. 507 00:22:02,368 --> 00:22:04,002 Scared that maybe we're a person 508 00:22:04,037 --> 00:22:06,204 we wouldn't like very much if we met. 509 00:22:06,239 --> 00:22:10,541 Scared we're people who are gonna let our communities down. 510 00:22:10,577 --> 00:22:13,111 Scared we're people our parents might think different of 511 00:22:13,146 --> 00:22:15,045 if they really knew. 512 00:22:15,081 --> 00:22:19,083 Scared of becoming our parents, and in some of our cases, 513 00:22:19,119 --> 00:22:23,187 scared of losing one of our 17 thumb rings. 514 00:22:24,890 --> 00:22:27,358 That was a moment that bonded us forever. 515 00:22:27,393 --> 00:22:29,793 It was a moment we never talked about again. 516 00:22:29,829 --> 00:22:31,394 It was a moment that was ours. 517 00:22:35,134 --> 00:22:37,601 The next night, I was feeling more confident 518 00:22:37,637 --> 00:22:39,703 that although I would still make mistakes, 519 00:22:39,739 --> 00:22:41,505 I was determined to make better choices 520 00:22:41,540 --> 00:22:43,206 and be a better person overall. 521 00:22:43,242 --> 00:22:45,475 Hey, Tara, what's up with the box? 522 00:22:45,511 --> 00:22:46,743 Oh. 523 00:22:46,778 --> 00:22:49,179 A new single just opened up over at Cardinal Towers. 524 00:22:49,214 --> 00:22:50,379 I'm out of here. 525 00:22:50,414 --> 00:22:51,714 So you're moving out? 526 00:22:51,750 --> 00:22:53,049 Yep. 527 00:22:53,084 --> 00:22:54,183 I like to study naked. 528 00:22:54,218 --> 00:22:56,418 It's probably better for both of us. 529 00:22:56,454 --> 00:22:58,688 But don't worry, they already assigned you a new roommate. 530 00:22:58,723 --> 00:23:00,322 She's in there unpacking. 531 00:23:00,358 --> 00:23:01,858 She seems cool. 532 00:23:01,893 --> 00:23:04,326 Okay. 533 00:23:06,664 --> 00:23:07,696 Ohh. 534 00:23:07,731 --> 00:23:12,868 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com